...No one is gonna play the harp when you die... |
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The pixie and I went to the May Day parade at Powderhorn Park this past weekend and we had a great time. She loved the puppets and masks in the parade and we got some really good pictures too. I saw hip looking mamas and papas all over but me being the social butterfly that I am, I didn't say anything to anybody aside from smiling at them or whatever. One of the parade participants came up and kissed Ariana on the cheek as she passed. I am going to try and go to the theatre next year and make us some masks so her and I can walk next time. I made one more attempt at the playgroup but felt like an ass because everyone else has older kids and Ari and I were just dinking around by ourselves so I didn't stick around long. The apartment manager gig has been going pretty well aside from constant asshole behavior from the group of guys that are getting forced out of the building. They are being pissy about everything such as me showing their apartments when they are home. Oh, well, shit happens. The pixie took 6 steps in a row last week but that is as close as she has gotten to walking on her own. She also went to her first art gallery last month. Intermedia Arts had an exhibit of photographs taken by homeless men and women at St. Stephens Shelter. I purchased one of them .
Our furniture tally: 1 dumpstered velvet aqua chair 1 dumpstered drawing table and computer chair 1 new couch that comes Monday 1 table and 2 dining chairs FINALLY!! :) I'm sure theres more but the baby is getting restless.
I'm getting old. My husband thinks I'm out of my mind because I only listen to NPR or MPR (Minnesota Public Radio) while at home or driving, unless I toss a disc in.
But here is the real indicator that I am aging at an alarming pace:
Oh yeah, we got a table and chairs!! I got a great deal on a scratched table from elements in Uptown and I bought two chairs to match it at Target. It ran us about $170 altogether and they look great! (just don't look too close)
Obviously i'm going to have to move my pictures as Yahoo is having some problems getting their act together. Back in Michigan for the weekend. Thanks to the guy upstairs I didn't get a lot of sleep the night before. He decided to come home around 3 in the morning and start fucking whomever, so all through the apartment it was like boom-boom-boom... he didn't finish until almost 4 and my alarm was set for 4:30. Yawn.... The trip itself was pretty uneventful except for: CHICAGO. surprise. I got into it with a cabbie on the expressway. We were trapped in a 3 hour jam and he set me off. So we had a arm waving conversation through our windows. Sorry Mr Cabdriver, if I let every joker in that wants to merge in front of me, I'll never get anywhere. I met a nice family from South Dakota at a rest area, they were traveling with their sweetheart of a rottweiler mix. It was so well behaved that it was off leash the whole time it was outside. Oh yeah, in other big but BAD news, the husband got laid off. If it weren't for this Apt. Mgr. job that we are to start this month, we would be out of a place to live. Bye bye Passat. Fucking Bush.
I'm still alive but I am finding it nearly impossible to keep the pita updated. My hunt for like minded mamas here in the city has gotten nowhere and I sit in our apt. or walk around the uptown area by myself all the time. I would like to hook up with ericka and hang out but have no sitter to take Ariana. blah.... I missed the st. paddy parade because I have anxiety about riding the bus downtown by myself (and the pixie) and the hubby just wanted to sit around and pour beer down his hatch. I guess I need to get my guts up and just get on the bus and go... We are gearing up to start our training for the Apt. Mgr. job next month so we will have extra $$$ so we can get some furniture and a computer. Oh yeah, we may be buying a new car this year. Get this, we are looking at a Jetta or a Passat. Yuppiehood here I come - YEAH RIGHT. We just like the car for the options and style. I swear!!!
I've got to keep it short so here goes. We like our new apt. a lot, it has a ton of space and on top of that - the caretakers will be leaving in a few months and referred us for the position. We are still mulling that over. I found a wonderful childrens bookstore, have been enjoying the fact that I don't have to drive everywhere I go but I miss my pets alot. Our building doesn't allow anything but aquarium animals. Big surprise.
I am in a very somber mood tonight. The pixie and I will be leaving again for Mpls in the morning. This time we will be in our new apt. getting adjusted. I trying to pack enough in my car to take care of us for at least a couple of weeks so I don't have to make a trip back for more belongings so quick. Rent a truck, you say? I don't have the cash... :( If the husband doesn't start his new job soon, we are gonna be screwed. I always get super edgy and depressed before a move. I cannot emotionally handle it. It seems like all I ever do is move here and move again there. I live out of boxes and limited furnishings. I'm bloody tired of it all. Oh yeah, then I find some chicks name and e-mail addy in the husbands hotmail address book last night. I did a little detective work but wasn't able to dig anything up as he deleted ICQ and cleaned out the files before he left. All I can say is there had better be a good explaination for it. I am about out of patience and understanding right now.
I think i'm in love... Okay, the love part is a bit much but go pour over his site anyway.
The pixie and I arrived back in Michigan for the second time in a week last night around midnight. Lucky me got trapped in the hell that is Chicago at rush hour with a screaming baby in the backseat. She was tired of riding and frankly, I don't blame her. The only good that came out of that experience was locating the west Chicago IKEA. I had a fleeting thought of stopping in to window shop but that quickly flew out the window as I envisioned myself getting back on the highway of hell. We took an apartment in Uptown. Now we just have to cross our fingers and hope that we can cut rent and still eat and pay off the multitude of past and present bills. And if I can help it, we will NOT be sitting on lawn chairs in the living room for 6 months and eating nothing but eggs and cheap lunch meat and peanut butter sandwiches. It's not that I have anything against doing that, but there is a time and a place and I am over that type of living now that the pixie is here. I want her to have a decent life because dammnit, she only has one life to live and I want it to be a good one.
Once I get moved back to Minnesota my internet access will be more limited. :( There are some great T-shirts and bumper/bike stickers on this site. Check them out.
We're gearing up for another long drive back to Minnesota this weekend. No matter what happens, I can't wait to just get moved into a place and fucking settle down for a while. I am so tired of moving. I have basically been living out of boxes for at least 8+ years now. I want to decorate. I want to buy furnishings. I want to unpack and stay that way. I want to expand my and the pixies personal library. Is that too much to ask? I swear to god though, if he quits this job, I will kill him. He says that he is ready to stick with it and stay and settle in somewhere and goddamit he better. If he throws away $17 bucks an hour for nothing I will have had it. I have already been pushed to that point by living here at his parents once again for the last 8 months and I can't take any more. I am giving him (once again) the benefit of the doubt here and I am tired of being let down.
We made it back alive.
I found a pair of shoes and a pair of boots at Heavenly Soles that I would like to pick up if and when we get the money. A girl never has enough shoes...
All was good until Monday night, I had only booked two nights at the B & B because of $$$ so I had intended on leaving Monday afternoon after his interview. He had other ideas. It was decided then that we would stay at the old roommates place, fine in theory but it was not babyproof so it was a disaster waiting to happen. Add 2 more men to the mix and we had 5 adults and one pixie in a fairly small apartment. They had brewed some beer in the kitchen so I couldn't let her down in there and was trying to avoid the living room as there were video game wires going across the floor. To make a long story short, I got frusterated with the situation and told the hubby that I was leaving one way or another because it was too late to get a room. So we left there around 11 at night and stayed in New Lisbon, WI for the night.
For some reason I had a night terror in my sleep at the motel and nearly gave my husband a heart attack. I had a dream that I had woke up and there was a man standing over me and woke in real life up hollering and almost crying. I woke him and the baby up. I haven't had a night terror in a while now so it was surprising to me. Must have been all the driving. But anyway... You know, it is alot easier to talk with people now that the pixie is here. A lot of people come up and comment about her or make baby talk with her or whatever. I had two people at Rainbow start a conversation with me while we were picking up some food. Then she was "flirting" with the girl at Heavenly Soles. Maybe this will get my gumption up to try and talk to more people on a daily basis.
At first it didn't feel the same when we got to the city. I had been missing it for all these months but when I got there it felt different somehow. I know it hadn't changed, I had. I think one reason was that I had the pixie and didn't really want to drag her out in the cold. Larry's apt. was about 5-6 blocks from our old place so it would have been quite a walk in the cold to get to Uptown. The B & B was in a excellent location but again the cold stopped me as it was morning every time I had the energy to go for a walk. And all the men wanted to do was sit around playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater. Blah. Oh well, spring is on it's way. So, other than crazy drivers in Chicago, mean truckers everywhere, a swarm of state patrol cars in Wis. and a near accident in Minneapolis, we made it through the weekend unscathed.
Looks like we may be leaving for Minnesota either very early Saturday or late night Friday (so Ariana can sleep). Her and I will be staying at a B & B for two nights and the husband will be staying with our old roomie Larry. I hope we can swing this as far as money is concerned. I am packing up some of the pixie's nice old clothes and some of the other baby stuff we no longer need and I'm going to take it to this joint called Once Upon A Child, they buy used items and resell them. Hopefully what I get from unloading this stuff on them will pay for at least gas and food while we are gone. I am looking forward to making a visit to the Humane Society and chatting with my old co-workers and checking out the new wing that was open in November. I need to stop into Walgreens as well and get my tax forms directed to the correct address.
Well, I pissed my mum off on the phone tonight. I was discussing us leaving this weekend and she got angry about the fact that if my husb. gets this job, we will be moving back out to Minnesota. She is afraid that he will take it and end up qitting shortly after. I can't say that I blame her for thinking that as he has left me in the dust 3 times in the last 2 years and I have picked up the slack (except this time). But she knows damn well that it is easier to talk about leaving than to actually do it. I try to be a strong, independent woman but I have never been with anyone else and the only time I have been alone is the 6 months I had an apt. by myself and the 2 months that we were seperated. And now to make matters more complicated, the pixie is involved no matter what happens. New picture on bio, BTW.
Today, Ariana is 7 months old! Now, go visit Jezebel and melyssa.
I'm all better today. There may be a tiny light at the end of the tunnel. My husband got a call today about a job in Eden Prairie, which is a suburb southwest of Minneapolis, about working for a rather large company. We may be taking a short trip up there either this or next week. YAY!!! "I'm a nut..." I bought the pixie two cd's with childrens songs because a particular commercial had kids singing and she would always snap to attention when it came on. Now I'm turning into a nut listening to them and singing them to her. On that same note, if I see one more commercial hocking Kenny Rogers, songs 4 god or 80's music I am going to burst. Please, stop the insanity!!! Arrgh. Kmart has the SIMS (and expansion pack) on sale this week and I was going to slap down the dough for it, BUT THEY DIDN'T HAVE ANY IN STOCK!!!
Some new journals that I have been reading:
I want to have a drink.
It was good to get that out of my system.
A Quote for today: Poor, poor kitty!! Check those ice clods kids! Scott is no longer in Small Brown Bike, he will be missed. :( Cute new design for mood-swings.
A new toy! Here is me: I am researching "Unschooling" as an option for Ariana when the time comes. It is a type of Homeschooling that is less laid out for the child and focuses instead on learning through living (volunteering, museums, etc...) and natural curiousity. It all sounds fine and dandy but what do colleges think of this type of schooling is what I am wondering. I wouldn't want to hurt her chances of going to college if that is what she chooses to do in the future.
It's been sunny and warm here for the last two days which puts me in the mood to get in my car, crack the windows and play my music just a little too loud as I am wont to do.
Okay, i've been informed that after all this time, my pictures have never showed up!! Such a big mistake with such an easy solution! Now everyone knows how clueless I am when it comes to html, if they didn't before. I have been just trying to teach myself through trial and error.
I have been having an odd amount of "sex dreams" about public people lately. How does the new site look? I would appreciate feedback if anyone has time. If not, that's fine too!
After years of considering it but never following through with it, I have decided that this year that I will participate in the "Valentines for Vets". Go to Dept. of Veterans Affairs home page and click on "Health Benefits and Services" section and go to the facilities locator page to find a facility near you if you are interested in taking part. Iknow, I know, it's so Ann Landers...
Oh, how I would like to be here on January 20th. I wish I had the cash to travel down and protest with some of the hipMamas that will be there.
While in the indymedia site, I came across this unfortunate situation. It's always sad when the animals get persecuted for things that they don't even do.
7 convicts escape in Texas. Great job Dubya. Give the convicts an unsupervised picnic so they can prance away. The common sense of these people is overwhelming. I've been drinking too much coffee...I don't feel good. Yuck.
Wednesday, I am going to sign up for a Composition course. Maybe I can improve my writing on here as well. Now the trick is scraping together the nearly $300.00 it is going to run me. I have put all medical and credit card bills on the back burner until I can land a job. If I don't, I am seriously going to have a breakdown and we don't want that. I had planned on attending a parent/infant swim class as well but that is an extra $50.00 that I can't spare. :( Not that I wanted to slip on a bathing suit anyway!!
Hooray!! I finally have a new look!!
Went to see Castaway last night. The plane crash scene just reinforces my fright of taking a plane somewhere. I have always traveled by car. I guess that if I intend on seeing Europe someday, I had better get over it.
Ariana has mastered the whole stick-the-bottom-lip-out cry now. She rarely misses an opportunity to use it to her advantage either. She is also uttering a variation of "mama" now, when previously she only yelled "uh-huh". We're moving right along.
I have yet to be able to archive my old pages like a normal person, maybe someday i'll get my head out of my ass long enough figure it out. It's there but it isn't right.
I am hoping the new year will bring me some luck. It started out good enough last year but plummeted as summer progressed. We'll see, I guess. I added a few more links on each side if anyone is interested. Nina, on the left, is a hipMama from Norway.
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Friday, May 11th
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