Little White Box

foreign affairs

sleater-kinney
the strokes
blonde redhead
modest mouse
marmoset
the white stripes
le tigre

foreign resources

epitonic
rockgrrlie
killrockstars records
riot grrl europe

local resonance

forcevomit
serenaide
bigredmoment
d-cookies
janicide
radium rags

local revelations

grrl girl revolution
audioreload
localmusic
bigO

interrogation

fai, 18-year-old female
rather weird at times, yet perky
daydreams a lot
radical feminist
loves drawing,screaming
a little lost and confused
the only child
2nd year mass communications student
ngee ann polytechnic

Wednesday, December 18, 2002
01:38 a.m.
Dig me out

I am fuckin pissed, fuckin angry, fuckin damn so pissed at everything. I mean I know its bad to be pissed helpin out for my cousin's wedding, but the thing that made me pissed is that everything is last minute. The wedding gift is a wooden hexagon box in which each has to be brushed, assembled, and varnised carefully and there is about 500 guests. I don't mean to be this bitchy but I can't help it. It's already Wednesday and Sunday is coming soon. Way lots more stuff to be done. Felt like shit after cryin my eyes out in despair, I just don't want my other cousins, Rita and Wani to suffer horribly too. This is a waste of time. And when we requested our aunt to have more manpower, as in asking outside people to help, she seemed unhappy about it. As if we were in the wrong, as if we were the evil ones. Might as well order everything rather than doin things the last minute and its not even our fault. We will get the blame if something cocks up. But how can I be rude and defiant to my auntie who's the groom's mother? What can we do but swallow our blistering anger and get back to work, our hands with cuts and bruises and our minds restless? Anyway, belated update of the 'jalan-raya' trip with the atrium kids on Sunday. Yeah, loads of people, all of us in a huge air-conditioned coach. Massive. Was all right, ate loads that day; we finished around 12:00 am. Song: Write Me Back Fucker by Sleater-Kinney

Thursday, December 12, 2002
02:03 p.m.
The pain you have to feel

The hospital atmosphere seems rather regular and stoic, especially if you've spent hours there. Been accompanying grandfather there for his catarax operation. He look so afraid on Tuesday waiting for the doctor's call, his fingers trembled. The waiting, oh hell, it was like 7 hours. The operation only took one and a half hrs yet grandfather was the last being operated so that brings in the tow of hours. So many people with so many medical conditions. Felt really mellow and worried because grandfather is a soft-hearted man. The operation went well, and he had a good rest at home. The next day proved that the operation was a success when the doctor took off grandfather's pirate-like eye patch and tested his newly regained vision in his right-eye. He said he felt so renewed, everything was clear. Thank god. Haven't been goin 'jalan-raya' much due to grandfather's condition. Song: Leaning Against the Wall by Kings of Convenience

Friday, December 6, 2002
08:46 a.m.
Enlightenment

Selamat Hari Raya; Happy Eid Mubarak to all. Slight pains whistle through healed wounds, yet its only for a while; i'll be strong, i'll carry on.

Song: Selera Raya by Force Vomit

Sunday, December 1, 2002
10:50 p.m.
So...what say you?

I've been an obssessive compulsive shopper for Hari Raya lately. Its all about accessories this time and I'm glad I got this sort of goth-like black necklace which i adored. Now left is the bloody slip-ons to go with the baju kurung. So far none has caught my eye, non had turned me on...I'm just looking for this certain delicious chemistry between me and a pair of slip-ons. Will it be sequined, simple, leatherish, or plain kinky? Hmm...what's in store for me, shall i see..tee hee hee...

You just want to be in the middle of a Sam & Frodo sandwich, eh?

What's your sexual perversion?
Created by ptocheia

Friday, November 29, 2002
02:37 a.m.
The very moment sent me jitters

Bwarghhhhh!! Man was I relieved at the news today, the news of my dreaded exam results. At around 7 plus pm I was fucking nervous and my face looked as if i haven't shitted for days. Then the bloody net connection gave problems and the suspense of my results made impatience ate my heart out. Luckily good samaritan Su Bulu (thank you orait sista) checked for me and even though the ears were treated with C's & D's I was quietly thankin the almighty that I passed every module. Woa..the moment of jitters I had..a big phewwww. What I am aiming for at the moment is for my mind to be empty, as in rid of conflicts or problems and worries..yes i'm disposing every other rotten, festering, puss-filled thoughts. Imagine my head, an empty egg shell as I stared into the empty, starless midnight sky.

Pain perpetuates deep from the bud
Bright sparkling stars on the flower petals
Little tulip amongst wild shrubs glow,
A spectacular view of false perfection
Pain in the tulip containing shards of glass,
Silently and slowly cutting through the petals
As it shrinks in the Baltic frost of the night…

Tuesday, November 26, 2002
02:30 p.m.
Vampires in the nite..

How frustrated do you feel to be sleeping soundly, say about 03 30 hrs in the morning only to be awaken with the shrilling orchestras of mosquitoes and to feel huge, juicy bites on your arms, cheeks, fingers and legs? Argh damn those things spoil my dreamy sleep. Enduring the bites are one thing and getting some decent minutes of sleep before 04 30 where I get up for my pre-dawn meal (sahur) is another question. Everything comes with a price. The beautiful, rainy, cloudy weather...and in the night..after the rain...those sickening bloodsuckers feast on your flesh. Everything in life comes with a price. Simple things show harsh realities. Another harsh reality; that I'm so pretty, tragically broke. However, here are a list of things which I lusted and obsess over-: The 'I'm Broke But Who Cares' Shoppin' List 1) Levi's 599 jeans (my 577 is getting a bit worn out despite being several months old) 2) Blonde Redhead's 'Melody of Certain Damaged Lemons' CD (if it's available here) 3) Cowboy shirt, preferrbly with tiny flowers all over; short sleeved. (heckcare if it's $39) 4) Manic Street Preachers' 'Forever Delayed' (lurve their political statements) 5) Liquid batteries for my curler (i fantasize to have a hairdo like those 70's Charlie's Angels chicks on Hari Raya, but lets see whether i succeed in doing so, hahah) Song: Don't Let Me Down (The Beatles Cover) by Zwan

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