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11.46pm : Friday : 15 December 2000
::CHEERS::
It's the beginning of the holidays and I've got mad stuff to do. Aside from college apps, which I've been doing for the past 20 years, I have a 10-pg research paper (hai, AGAIN) to finish before I can go anywhere. ::wails:: Someone pass meeh some maggie or durian or other yummy schtuff to help to pass the time faster, hopefully. Isn'tit funny how Christmas makes everyone reflect on their lives? Well, I've reflected enuff... I wonder sometimes, is this really what I want, and is this really who I am (can be)?
Just wondering.
So shoot me!
10.32pm : Friday : 1 December 2000
::MUSE::
**eating white rainbow-chip frosting**
Mm... frosting is good... it reminds me of Ever wonder how things just happen to have connotations to them, like a rainy day can stir memories of being curled up inside, just having a nice blustery day indoors, or of dancing in deep puddles that line a windswept road...
5.29pm : Monday : 27 November 2000
::EGOISM::
*I think blue best describes my mood today. Not depressed, or saddened, but kind of floaty, and sort of bleh. Maybe there's a cloud over my head...*
I was discussing test results w/ a few classmates today and thought, wow, I can't believe it turned out this way. I have no interest in writing, or english, but I'm ok at them... Then, my writing and literature scores turn out to be in the 87th percentile for the nation (US). How's THAT sound to a prospective science major? (::wails::)
I'm ready to keel over with applications and exams and papers though. I can't drive correctly; today I was rushing to/from school and ended up popping the curb a total of 5 times. Now, keep in mind that I live about a 5 mins drive away from the school. Not good, ne? This is the result of P-R-O-C-R-A-S-T-I-N-A-T-I-O-N, kiddies! Don't do it, as patronizing as that sounds, cos it'll only end up being nerve-wracking in the end.
Ooh, I sound so old. Would you believe I'm the youngest of the BzFaRm? Hah! ^_~ ::/EGOISM::
12.01am : Monday : 27 November 2000
::RANT:: I can't seem to keep organized. I'm gonna be such a slob when I get older; my apt will have books and papers and food and clothes and MDs strewn about it like it's nobody's business (which it is), but it won't be dirty, just messy ^^;
I can't seem to finish anything. These books and papers will constantly be in a state of progress - towards completion, if you will - and I'll forever be listening to one MD... Keeping busy? Nah, more like pure laziness. Procrastination, I believe they call it. Who made up these words? Nasty things, connotations!
I can't seem to get over this Japanese fetish. The BzFaRm has come down w/ it too: the Indonesian FarmOwner, Chinese blooperfish, Malay rooster-piggy, Chinese WereWolf, Malay dapdap (^.^;), and, NOT TO MENTION, the Pinay six-tailed-ice-cream-towel-munching-glomper-kitsune~ What's happened to us? (not like this didn't happen w/ BZ ~> "Irish names")The lure of anime ("yaoiyaoiyaoi") / entertainment ("TakuKimu") / fashion ("bigshoes") is just too much for us. I don't wanna leave Japan at all! ::cries::
j| can we come back, pleese? (O.O)
Did I mention that I can't seem to get this paper finished? If anyone's online at 3am Wednesday morning, come keep meeh company... ::/RANT::
6.09pm : Sunday : 26 November 2000
::RANT::
I'm blaming everything on the BzFaRm. Thanks to you guys, I'm now 5 hrs short on my 10pg English paper, strained in the neck and the back, and cursed w/ HTML. Poo.
AND, everyone's ahead of me in page design.
Syat| your little web-amusements are great.
Janey| anything w/ anime angels has to be a plus. ^_~;
Camooz| When did you come into the picture?? and since WHEN did you like ANIME?!
Whoever thought up literary criticism? Right now Janey and I are in the midst of deciphering Kafka, an existentialist writer who filled his works with abstract surrealism, absurd qualities and just a touch of irony. Pick it up if you have a chance; besides the fuzzy (ha ha) symbolism it's definitely worth a read...
Besides the societal implications and overly-used adages, though, this has to be the most obscure field of study ever, with the exception of SOCIAL ANTHROPOLOGY: the study of man, and his role in and of society, and how modern civilization came to BE. (Yea Mel, you do that.)
I guess it has some relevance; the applicability of great literature to our individual (poor measley insignificant rabid) lives is almost astounding, proving that through the ages people have traveled through the "vicious cycle" over and over, never learning. You see my point? Maybe? ::/RANT::
1.41am : Friday : 24 November 2000
::PURPOSE(S)::
Well, this is a log page. Used to...um...log schtuff ^^ Like how I went to the store and bought bread and milk, and helped old ladies across the street, then fed them to stray cats. The bread and milk, that is...not the old ladies.
Today is the grand opening of Gushikawa's Jusco. Hurray, hurray, another black hole for me to throw my money into. I guess I'll have to rejoice that it's definitely more productive than sitting in front of a computer writing a 10pg. English paper. Urgh. Maybe I'll be a fashion designer, yea, and not worry about English or Science or Math or any of that sort of stuff. Fashion will always be ...in fashion (ho ho!), thus fashion will always bring in $ƒB, non? ::/PURPOSE(S)::
::RANT:: Of all the Days, Frustration reared her ugly head this morning. "It's not fair", and "Why the hell..." rush to mind. I suppose it must be one of those things. What was it defined as? :"Exploders", from the Anger Management Session at school. That made me mad. O.o
Exploding, for one thing, is physically draining. It's annoyance, then rage, then bitterness, and tears, and finally an overwhelming wave of confusion...
But that was earlier today. The human mind, fickle as it is, sheds light on randomized parts of the subconscious, as it pleases. Coming and going, coming and going.
So it comes to pass that the transition between emotions occurs quickly, and chaotically. Entropy: a system going towards disorder; precisely what happens in a body becoming angry, sad, frustrated, confused.
What I did do, I don't regret. Not anymore. From all those emotions often comes a head cleared of everything else. Light-headed ^^
Today was a learning experience.
Today...was a good day. ::/RANT::
Round n Round:
"This is the story of a girl...who cried a river and drowned the whole world..."
(((KuruKuru)))
j| sarang-hae yo.
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