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Thursday, January 11, 2007
You know what makes it all right in the end? I should be finishin in about 8 months. After that, i ll be a doctor. Thats a proffesion which still has some repute. I also wont have any outstanding loans to pay for. That means i will have a clean slate on my life. I should be earning a comfortable sum for myself and my mum. That means i ve done part of my part. At that point of my life, i think i will be at a point of my life... where i can continue with what i have, good or bad, or... make a clean start somewhere else. Thing is... do i want to make mistakes in between and put it up to learning experiences... heh...
Thursday, January 11, 2007
how i mistook a hydrocephaly child for Down's Syndrome is still beyond me... Anyways, Yee Ling, my groupmate, commented today that she enjoys it when i m laughed at. Enjoys it when i m laughed at... Enjoys. Alas, being me, i swiftly pointed out to her, its enjoyable cause its a bloody rar occasion. RARE. Unlike in Klang, where the klang people somehow or rather always pull the mickey over me, in melaka.... its rare. Heh... how i mistook a hydrocephaly child for Down's Syndrome is still beyond me...
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
How do i put this to words? Ah well... Things have been goin pretty well. Not much actually which is good. I told Ayu, she was right bout somethin, but didnt want to give her the satisfaction of knowin which part... but thinkin back on it... does it really matter? Maybe i m too bored. Anyways, 4th July 07. John McClane returns. Yippee-ka-yay motherfucker... Live free or Die Hard... damn. "How 'bout you just skip down to the part where you tell me what the fuck this has to do with me..." John McClane
Sunday, January 7, 2007
Was suprised when i was invited to a birthday party of someone i know, last night. Not givin much thought anyways, so i went with deeps and loges. Enjoyed myself a bit, esp with a weak mind and a body full of orange juice. Pulled the usual "cruise ship is actually Sri Lanka" line on a few people, which managed to convince a few people that i was drunk. Ah well... Anways, in a non relevent issue, - regret - not for u to know, for me to remember rather. Made plans with Senthil to go to Durian Tunggal to look for an Amman temple. To look for it would be the right term, as we had to go to a Police St to get directions to the temple. The temple itself, is quite small, but u can feel the "power" from it. We had to wait 6 hours. 6 hours. from 9am-3pm to see the Priest. The Priest apparently is a really spiritual person. He apparently stopped a girl who kept on giving out water from her mouth, when most people couldnt treat her. So this is how the conversation goes... Kuhan: *enters the room, prays to the Deity, and then faces the Priest and sits down* **in tamil** ***smiling*** aiya...
Priest: *in tamil* so, tell me. Whats troubling you?
Kuhan : *still smiling* nothing aiya...
Priest: *smiles and nods his head while takin a Soolum (The Diety's Weapon) and looks at me thru it* Ur studyin? What is ur name, date of birth and age?
Kuhan : *tells him the personal details while still smiling*
Priest: *proceeds to tell me i wont have trouble with my studies as of now*
Kuhan: Aiya... i have some problems with *i cant tell* After that, he does the same thing, lookin at me thru the Soolam, and proceeds to tell me my problem and what to do. I didnt tell him what it was, but tap tap tap, he told me... Anyone wants to go see him, lemme know, i ll take ya... uhm... yea.
Friday, January 5, 2007
Yea... slept alot over the day. 10pm-1am, 130am-730am, 1030am-155pm. Even felt nauseated cause of the sleep overload. Anyways, sent out a random msg last night, askin people that if their lives were a tv show, who'd play them, and of course since they know me, who'd play me. Here are some replies... Ellen Page for me, and wolverine for you of course. I'd be Christian Bale and u'd be denzel Washington. (if) u wan an asian version, i'd be Jet Li and u'd be Hritik Roshan... hehehe *his own name* as me and Sol Campbell as u.. I donno who'd be playing me but i'd like to play Pikachu. GO PIKACHU!!!! LIGHTNING ATTACK! (no prizes for guessing who...) Linda Onn will be playin me. Acappan will be playin you. me julia and u will smith... So far these are the answers i got la... the most logical one would be Acappan, but he s too old, and my english is much better. Sol Campbell was... an intresting choice... but if it was up to me, i'd get that Kal Penn fella, from Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle. Leave ur five cents at the tag board if u want...
Thursday, January 4, 2007
Odd day. Went to the Hospital early cause i had no idea where i was supposed to be, tho i knew what i was supposed to do. The presentation today was on neonatal jaundice, so basically the victim *cough cough* i mean patient, is generally a 2-3 day old kiddo... So there i was, in the ward, when the Obs & Gyn specialist, walks behind me. Wished him a good mornin and went on my own business. Next thing i know, theres this nurse callin out to me, sayin that the specialist is callin me. Mind u, i m in paeds... Specialist : Where are u? Why didnt u join the ward rounds? Dont u know when a speacialist is takin ward rounds u med students supposed to follow? At that point, i had nothin really constructive to do, so i play along. I apologized, and joined the ward rounds. The thing about the specialist rounds is u pick up a lot of lil stuff. And this particular specialist, he s a funny guy, and like most other specialist, a fair guy. U know ur work, he s happy. After the paeds case presentation, which was ok, i went back to the ONG ward, cause a friend of mine was presenting a case on a goitre in pregnancy. Imagine a small melon on ur throat. Lovely. Once again there was an Obg Gyn specialist, a different one at it, but as i said, the principle is the same. U know ur stuff, they are happy. Thing is my Obg Gyn knowledge is a more than tad rusty, being almost 6 months since i had a pregnant patient. That went well as well, but there was somethin common. They both said that a particular MO was my brother. Ai... just because we have the same name... and dark... got a funny feelin this is gonna repeat itself in OBg Gyn posting later... Was watchin ER on hallmark. There was a lady who brought her 5 year old son in for not hearing what was being said. On examination, the paeds doct found nothin wrong with him... Dr Ross: So, he cant hear voices? Any voice in particular?
Mom : He cant hear my mom's voice. *pause* She says a lot of nasty things about me... She's not very nice.
Dr Ross : Your mom? She lives with you still?
Mom: No, she died 5 years ago...
Dr Ross: *amused* What other voices cant your son hear?
Mom : Oh... my ex husband, the ice cream man and Diana.
Dr Ross: Diana?
Mom: *angrily* YES DIANA!!! THE PRINCESS OF WALES!!! WHO DID U THINK I WAS TALKIN ABOUT??? in case u dont know, its the mom whos schizophrenic i.e. hearing voices. =) The show then went on, up to a part where Dr Carter was questioning his decision to become a docotr, just after breakin bad news to a couple that their son had died. Fair enough... but how does he snap out of it? He delivers a baby in a car in the hospital car park. I swear if i wasnt fasting i d be cursing and swearing... i mean seriously wtf??? I was conned. I was conned dammit... argh. =) and people say i m in a bad mood... Poor Scouser Tommy
Let me tell you the story of a poor boy
Who was sent far away from his home
To fight for his king and his country
And also the old folks back home
So they put him in a Highland division
Sent him off to a far foreign land
Where the flies swarm around in their thousands
And there's nothing to see but the sands
In a battle that started next morning
Under a Libyan sun
I remember that poor Scouser Tommy
Who was shot by an old Nazi gun
As he lay on the battle field dying (dying dying)
With the blood gushing out of his head (of his head)
As he lay on the battle field dying (dying dying)
These were the last words he said...
Oh...I am a Liverpudlian
I come from the Spion Kop
I like to sing, I like to shout
I get thrown out quite a lot (every week)
We support the team that's dressed in red
A team that we all know
A team that we call Liverpool
And to glory we will go
We've won the League, we've won the Cup
We've been to Europe too
We played the Toffees for a laugh
And we left them feeling blue - Five Nil !
One two
One two three
One two three four
Five nil !
Rush scored one
Rush scored two
Rush scored three
And Rush scored four!
All you need is Rush
All you need is Rush
All you need is Rush, Rush
Rush is all you need
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
mother fucker i have become you... all this time i hated that part of you, and now i have become u... fuckin hell... need to clear somethings up... dammit...
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
Yea, fiesta 06. Few of us got together and did a play, a sketch rather, loosely based on manipal idol. Called it All-star idol, and it was... decent i figure. Everyone knows that it was near-impossible to reach the heights of MI... Anyways, after reviewing the video, i realized no-one laughed at me... heh... i mean, i knew i was just suppose to host the show, and be the in betweener, but still. Ah well.. at least my retirement of Pedro was justified. The others were well received, esp the pussy cat dolls. Transvestites are always funny... Anyways, one chapter closed. There are some pictures, but photobucket is not loading... Spent the next day in day care, when Dr Nupur took case. Somehow or rather, i ended up takin a short case of a kiddo with an enlarged spleen. That went poor cause it has been months since i did a proper examination, but she didnt seem to upset with it. So that was friday. Common programme came and went. Was supposed to spend the new years in melaka, as mom was going down to Singapore. Last years new years eve was watchin Liverpool play Birmingham, then nasi kandar with Loges and Justin. This year however, after a call from my cousins up in Bangsar, i was goin there. So, sunday mornin, after 7 missed calls, Farah taps on my window. Not too bad i suppose, as i get to drive a four wheel drive for the first time in her CR-V. As i told her, i ll be stickin to manual cars for a while. Cought up with my uncle, aunty, cousins and their kids. Went to the smaller temples on Scott Road again, and still i m fascinated by the Muneeswarer Temple there. There's an altar, where in order, a large black dog, Lord Muniandy, Lord Muneeswaren, Lord Changkalikaruppan, and another large black dog. This time however the dogs were not there. Dont ask. I dont know either. Came back to bangsar, and was joking around with my cousin bout Changkalikaruppan. Maybe this year for Thaipusam i can put some chains and pad-locks of different brands... say... UFO, or Solex. After much deliberation, decided to tag along with my cousins, and her friends, (one of which have a stunning pair of eyes, the most beautiful i ve seen from a rear view mirror in the back of a van at least, but still doesnt compare to Eyes la...) out to Hartamas. Ended up in Finnegans the irish bar. Oddly enough there wasnt any irish people... and the only whites were chinese. =) My cousin - in - law, Chalven, went up to the dj and told him it my birthday, to which the dj announced on the speakers... and the song dedicated to me? Gypsy King's Bamboleo... WTF... The music was bloody odd as well... ranging from ABBA, to will Smith, to Bony M... but overall the company was good, so yea... better time than last year. I guess the concept of new year is lost in me after manipal where we have classes on new years day... and also the fact that i dont drink. Which reminds me... As we were enterin Finnegans, someone called from somewhere. After wishin new year, i passed the phone to Navam, my cousin, and she spoke a while, after which i got the phone back. When that person started tellin me not to drink and drive, i promptly cut the line... any guesses who he is? =) Went up to Batu Caves this morning, and figured out what to do for Thaipusam. Its been odd this year, or actually more with a less of direction. I am fasting, but i didnt know what i was goin to do till this mornin. Decided on carryin two small pots tied to a string, balanced on my neck, one Vel thru the cheeks and 18 limes hanging on the body... We ll see how that goes... All that aside, was reminded of what someone, who keeps wondering what kinda of a doctor she s gonna make when she qualifies, while i was watchin ER. If ur young, ER was the Grey's Anatomy + House of the early nineties. The show had some degree of influence on me, and it was playin on Hallmark. Its more fun to watch now, cause i m gettin the management in my head before they say it on tv. heh... Anyways, back to the point. What kinda doctors. Dr Greene says there s 2 kinds. The one who lets go and deals with the patients and the one which keeps it in and deals with the patient. At the end of the day, its not how u feel, its what the patient deserves best. or somethin along that lines... If i was an impressionable 14 year old, i would have gone... "damn.... thats so cool..." *which i did, hence endin up where i am"... but now, lookin at it... i m like wat the fuck... this is nothin like the ER in melaka GH. I think i would need a separate post for waht happend on Saturday... And here it is... There was this malay dude. He was catchin chickens for Raya Qurban. So, he gets a stick, a plywood plank, aims it and throws it hard to knock the chicken out, or kill it. As the stick leaves his hand, his son opens the door and sticks his head out. The plank lands directly on his forehead, causin a Y shaped cut and so deep u can see his skull bones. He s allright though... but i think some kids will be callin him Ultraman in school. Yee Ling and i sutured the kid. Almost 15 sutures... Cool stuff anyways. Anyways, off to bed. Buyin hooks tomorro.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
U know i m raving bout how i put 2 and 2 together right? This is what i mean... By lookin at a picture of my friend and her dog, i deduced that her father is a doctor and her mom a teacher... I almost further went on to say her mom was a maths teacher, but i didnt, why i dont know, but i didnt. In the end, her mom s an english teacher. 2+2 = 4.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
This entry is dedicated to Pedro. He s retiring from my life tonight, and is unlikely to come back. Although for all practical purposes, i m not changing the url of the blog, cause well... too much work. Pedro - the orgin. Pedro was created by my mind way back in the middle of 1st year if i m not mistaken. Pedro, which is spanish for peter, was the brainchild of a bored mind. Throughout the times, according to the whims and fancies of the bored Kuhan mind, Pedro acquired and loss many secondary names, including the most prominent, McLachlan. The McLachlan name was concevied by Pedro's affection to Adia, sang by Sarah McLachlan.... Among other names acquired, was Corleone. Pedro Corleone McLachlan. Corleone, from the mafia masterpiece, The Godfather, came at a time, a time, when things were not really rough, but trying. There was once a time, when the famous Bollywood comedian performed in Mangalore. At that time, Hutch (the local manipal telco) sent promotional smss to everyone promoting the show. All i did was change the name to Pedro, and sent it to a few of my closer friends, Farah, Sanj... Kal... and thats how Pedro was introduced to the world... If memory serves me right... Pedro shot to fame with Manipal Idol... as Pedro Seacrest. The show was probably one of the highest peak i ve reached in manipal, esp with the tension and especially the after party in Vincents. 5 full fried chickens, burgers, sandwiches... People i didnt know were callin me Pedro. No one asked for an autograph tho... lol. Anyways, it was such an association, when i met a friend of mine in klang, he called me Pedro, cause he forgot my real name.... If Pedro wasnt enough, he needed a pet. Along came Rudolpho the Red nosed Wombat. Wombats have always fascinated me. Lazy huge buggers... like myself... he was red nosed, yes because it was around christmas, but more because he loved running around in circles, and then banging his nose against the wall... causing it to bleed. Hence, Rudolpho the red-nosed wombat. After manipal tho, all changed. Rudolpho was left back at 108 Charaka, and Pedro came home. Making some appearences on msn, especially when i was stressed by classes. Prof Mv said something bout lettin talent lose on stage, with the medical proffesion being stressfull *the fiesta post will come later* and no one can disagree with him. I created Pedro, out of boredome, and he has become my outlet of stress... as in i let go, when he s there. Up to a certain degree, there s no harm, but thinkin back, its about time i directed my stress in a more productive way... studyin. My grades have been improvin steadily over muar postings and in final year, meaning that i have to be doing somethin right somewhere. So... thats it... Goodbye Pedro McLachlan. Its been a pleasure knowing ya. If any of u readin this have a favorite Pedro moment, let me know. Its always awesome to look back at the old times.... Pedro : Good life to all... cheers.
Sarah McLachlan - Adia.
Adia I do believe I failed you
Adia I know I let you down
don't you know I tried so hard
to love you in my way
it's easy let it go...
Adia I'm empty since you left me
trying to find a way to carry on
I search myself and everyone
to see where we went wrong
'cause there's no one left to finger
there's no one here to blame
there's no one left to talk to honey
and there ain't no one to buy our innocence
'cause we are born innocent
believe me Adia, we are still innocent
it's easy, we all falter
does it matter?
Adia I thought we could make it
but I know I can't change the way you feel
I leave you with your misery
a friend who won't betray
I pull you from your tower
I take away your pain
and show you all the beauty you possess
if you'd only let yourself believe that
we are born innocent
believe me Adia, we are still innocent
it's easy, we all falter, does it matter?
believe me Adia, we are still innocent
'cause we are born innocent
Adia we are still
it's easy, we all falter ... but does it matter?
Sam liked this song as well... Still miss the fool. Damn.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Went home for the christmas weekend which was not too bad. Got to take a volvo out for a drive or two, which made me miss my saga. I m not sayin that the Saga was better than the Volvo... but donno la... Paeds started this mornin on a good note. Was with Thana at room 33, where we were posted to learn how to take blood. All the kiasuism in Ortho paid off, as i had little difficulty in takin blood. Thana on the other hand, had not done it before. So, i fiugred what the hell, and offered my cubital vein for a puncture. Just as i was being "prepped", in walks the paeds lecturer. There was some other exchange of words said at that time regarding someone else, which i dont feel like tellin, but at the end of it all... i was called a "good boy". I mean like what the... its like the opposite of ortho when the MO called me a 30/40 year old, and now i m being called a Good boy... Lord... So after Thana took the blood from me, not wantin to waste decent blood, the MA there said it would be better to run some test at it... i.e. a full blood count. To fill up the form, my details were required, so i passed the nice lady in the counter my ID tag... what does she say? "Ha...? ur only 23? so young ah?" I give up... Guess who was to be in the A&E for postings... on new years eve? Bah...
Friday, December 22, 2006
City Of Blinding Lights
The more you see the less you know
The less you find out as you go
I knew much more then than I do now
Neon heart dayglo eyes
A city lit by fireflies
They’re advertising in the skies
For people like us
And I miss you when you’re not around
I’m getting ready to leave the ground….
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights
Don’t look before you laugh
Look ugly in a photograph
Flash bulbs purple irises
The camera can’t see
I’ve seen you walk unafraid
I’ve seen you in the clothes you made
Can you see the beauty inside of me?
What happened to the beauty I had inside of me
And I miss you when you’re not around
I’m getting ready to leave the ground
Ooh ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights
Time… time
Won’t leave me as I am
But time won’t take the boy out of this man
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights
The more you know the less you feel
Some pray for others steal
Blessings are not just for the ones who kneel… luckily
Goin back to the village. Take care kids...
Thursday, December 21, 2006
For the longest of time, i never spoke to anyone personally bout my problems. So i did. Couldnt have chosen a better person, as he really put things into perspective for me. Well... i know what to do now...
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Not updating enough not because there s nothing to update, but the net connection s weird. Anyways, i donno la... a lot confused bout many people. Some acting weird, some acting normal when things are supposed to be weird, and some are just plain normal when things are normal. Odd indeed. Learnt long ago, that should not be bothered bout all this stuff, but the thing bout me is i have to know. I have to know not because of who it is, i have to know because of the why. The 2 + 2. Everything is related, and nothin is random. Thru time, we have learnt bout conservation of momentum, E=mc2 etc, all that rubbish, but as i said earlier, everythin is a calculated risk. Everything. There are unknown numericals, and i have this urge to know it. The blind man, in the dark room, looking for the black cat... that isnt there. Eventually the blind man figures out there isnt a black cat. 2+2. I know you care, thing is... i dont.
Friday, December 15, 2006
2 + 2 = 4. I m still learning bout people and myself. Everything is a calculated risk.... Psyche is gettin to me =)
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Missed psyche posting this mornin, couldnt get up. Sleeping in is fun, a rarity these days, but being psyche, cant miss no more classes. Oddly enough, i ve been havin some personal issues, which is actually nothing. Exactly. Nothing. It came out of nowhere, and now its here. It doesnt really affect me, but it does make me wonder why tho... i know whats goin on...
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
There was once this fella. He didnt know what he wanted. He rarely knew what was needed. He knew, though, that he'd survive everythin thrown at him. People may talk, people may do stuff, but whatever was done, hurt just a while. Nothing scars him for life. He wanted to hide, yet he liked the spotlight. He wanted secrecy, yet he indulged in mind games. He wanted u to know, but he wasnt bout to tell u. He lived his life by his rules, prepared to die by them. Yet at the end of the day he wonders... What the bloody hell is he doing wrong? He knows the answers to this. He knows what is wrong where. He, more often than not, knows whats wrong with other people but not himself. Mistake, he realizes, but yet... he continues. He is just a sadistic, egomaniacal, stupid asshole. He is I. I am him. I ve come clean. Anyone of u reading this, wants to walk away from me... go ahead.
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
Havin a slight flu which is nore of a bodyache... ah well... Anyways, intresting times. Nevermind. Made a meal and threw it up on sunday....
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
From ophthal remedial, to a 42/50 in ortho... This is my year.
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
whenevs i m sick, i tsker a healthy dose of clarinase, panadal oand coke. since i cant taske coke, i replace, coke, with actifeiex.actificed.actifided. actified. actified. lets see what gappesn. excuse the tyoep.
Sunday, December 3, 2006
So... ortho came and went. End postings were nothing to shout about, rather we were shouted at. I m not sayin we're completely blame free, i mean, me esp, the answers i gave for the management was 50% rubbish, while the other 50% had some germ of logic. No... the part which annoyed the most of us was the case allocations. The initial plan was 4 cases, 4 groups with each group having 3 people. All of a sudden tho, due to lack of cases, it became 3 cases, 3 groups 4 to a group. This would have been fine, but most of us were half way thru our cases, forcing us to abandon the case. This was still acceptable... The case list, or the end posting list. Usually, whats written is the patient's name, the occasional reg number, as well as the bed number. Thats it. This list however contained the name, DIAGNOSIS, and for God's sake, the planned OPERATION the patient is goin for. I mean what the... Still, its still no one s fault. It was a mis communication. Non-the-less, Dr AB, who took the examination, wasnt too thrilled. Hence the hammering. Really enjoyed ortho, esp with the houseman's and MO's being nice people. Even the specialist were considerate people. Shame it had to end like that... which leads to psyche next. From broken bones to broken minds... In a non-related issue, was talkin to Dr Y, a nice houseman-lady in ortho, who is coincidently my neighbour from down the street. She was on call and had a patient KO on her call. Granted, there was probably nothin she could have done, but i think i m gonna start praying no one dies on me. I know its nonsense, and i ve already had 2 people die in my cubicle, but the responsibilities, and esp the M&M (morbidity and mortality) *yes... melaka GH also got... not only on Grey's anatomy* would be a bit too much... ugh... Itchy beard is back by the way. Started fasting today... went to a new temple in Cheng, which is not too bad. Technically Itchy Beard is not really back... since im clean shaven... but u know what i mean.... ah well... From broken bones... to broken minds... cheers.
Monday, November 27, 2006
adrenaline and expectations gets u thru the wards and work... but once ur at home... ur fucked. a part of me is coming back this sunday. been a while since he's been around. maybe things will look up. dont get me wrong, i ve got things running pretty smoothly... but he s different. Who? wait till sunday...
Friday, November 24, 2006
one ortho M.O. said i looked at least 30 years old... he must be talkin bout the white hair... dammit... and after Shakee, i m the youngest in the group... and still in-line to be the youngest doctor in the family... dammit.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
I fuckin hate it when i dont listen to my self. I was fuckin right all along. fuck. Gonna fuckin kick my self in the ass the next time i dont fuckin follow my instincts. Fuck.
Thursday, November 23, 2006
interestingly enough, throughout my life, i ve had people come and go. some are very close friends, some hi-byes. most of the time, these people, usually, give up on me. when i say give up on me, usually i do mean given up on me as cannot be helped, or rather it is believed that i cannot be helped. intrestingly enough, i never did bother. Sure, i ll have that niggling feeling at the corner of my left ventricle, but i get used to it. maybe it was me, maybe it wasnt. but who gives a shit. i used to, but fuck it seems to be a better word. How do i know i m right? cause i m still here. if i took a wrong turn somewhere, i wont be where i am. intrestingly enough, i ve over-rated a few things. i m not as good as i think i am, nor am i as the nice guy i thought i was. being a jerk would be ideal, especially having a tongue like i have. it s not like i dont try to play fair, or nice rather, its more towards, i feel i m projectin u to urself, or more accurately, how i feel about u towards urself, if i was u. intrestingly enough, i've never made fun of people like mike. why? i ll leave that for another time... sleep beckons... intresting. i love this verse -- I've seen angels fall from blinding heights
But you yourself are nothing so divine
Just next in line
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
1) times like this i wish days were 34 hours long. 2) times like this i wish i knew what i was doin 3) times like this i wish i knew if what i am doin is right Dont believe everythin you know... When the storm arrives, would you be seen with me?
By the merciless eyes of deceit?
I've seen angels fall from blinding heights
But you yourself are nothing so divine
Just next in line
Arm yourself because no-one else here will save you
The odds will betray you
And I will replace you
You can't deny the prize it may never fulfill you
It longs to kill you
Are you willing to die?
The coldest blood runs through my veins
You know my name "you know my name" - Chris Cornell - Opening theme for Casino Royale.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Two quotes. This is from FEAR - First Encounter Assault Recon.
Harlan Wade: It is the way of man to make monsters. And it is the nature of monsters to destroy their makers. From The World is Not Enough... Q: I've always tried to teach you two things. First, never let them see you bleed.
James Bond: And the second?
Q: Always have an escape plan...
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Watched Casino Royale last night. Would give it a 6/10, but bloody hell, Craig was awesome as Bond. One of the better Bond movies. One of the things i liked the most was, how human he was, or was potrayed rather. The action was again top notch, being Bond, but the thing is, it wa really realistic. Nothin fancy like piloting a jet fighter or submarine. Good stuff... but too draggy la here and there.... Also, i hate that feelin at the corner of the ventricle... somethings comin up... hmmm...
Saturday, November 18, 2006
there are so many things that i would like to say to u... but i dont know how...
Friday, November 17, 2006
dammit. not only am i becoming someone i would hate, i m bloody enjoyin myself while at it. Dammit. Need to redirect. Argh... stress... *bangs head on the wall* I am immortal,
I have inside me blood of kings - yeah - yeah
I have no rival, no man can be my equal
Take me to the future of you all.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Favorite question - do i look stupid to u? Favorite answer - Oh hell yea... I might be a genius, but i m as stupid as hell...
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Yea... was in the A&E the other day. So there s this indian fella, from Malacca Flying Academy, who's receiving an intravenous infusion of normal saline. So, i go ask him... Kuhan : Anna, what happend? *in tamil*
Indian Dude : Anna ah? I m only 20...
Kuhan: Yea ok, so why are u here?
ID : No la... hypertension, 2 readings 150/120 mmHg *normal is 120/80*
Kuhan : *doesnt beleive and goes and check the records, which shows him having acute gastroenteritis, i.e. stomach pain* do u have diarrhoea or stomach pain ah?
ID : *gives me the look* stomach pain ah? diarrheoa ah?
Kuhan : yea la... its written here....
ID : Athu wa... *grins* I wanted MC so i told like that la... suddenly they said i got pressure and have to admit. *points to the drip* how come they didnt give me tiger biscuits?
all this is in tamil...
Kuhan : *the classic WTF look* What the... ok ok fine... so where ur from?
ID : Klang mike... klang.
Kuhan : ninaitchai da... ninaitchai... klang butthi tha... *slaps forehead* Later on, there s a mat motor, who comes in post motor vehicle accident. He bleeds from the ear, which is suggestive of a skull fracture. So as I was wiping the bleed, i see some greyish white thing, bout 2cm by 1 cm. I ask the doctor on call what that is... any guesses? Brain particle. The dude s brain was comin out of his ears.... Sure, u can say mat rempits dont need brains, and here we have proof... and the dude was alive. Followed him in to the CT scan, and left soon after. Maybe i should check him on him... or not.... Looks like he s coming back...
Friday, November 10, 2006
You know when u tangle up yarn? sometimes with one pull, u get the whole thing untangle... with the another, u tie it into a knot. Live... and learn.
Thursday, November 9, 2006
Retrospectively, its funny how life shows u stuff. My views on balance has never been stronger. U can never have things goin urways always. Sometimes ur happy, others ur sad, and like today, i was pissed. The reason i was pissed, wasnt because, how do i put it, wasnt because of what an individual did. It was more towards, how i responded to it. I almost lost it. And at times i wish i did. Sayin this, this wasnt the 1st time either. Would be easier to let go. Throw a punch even, get beaten up but still throw a punch. I havent been punched in a while. I miss that. Dont get me wrong. The punches ive got all along have made me stronger. intially the kids in school made me cry, after a while, it didnt hurt one bit. My brother used to bully me, yet in the end he has the scar, not me. I mean what the fuck la... i try to play nice. i ve always been different to different people. If ur nice to me, i m nice to you. You have to agree with me on this. Occasionally i go out of my way to provoke you, but in the end i still like you as a friend. All of u. If i dont like you, i dont talk to u. Simple. The thing is, i ve realized, that i ve given more... I m not asking for anythin in return, never will, but at least show some bloody appreciation. At this point, i know some of u are thinkin, is it me he's talkin about. Well... I think i should make one or two things clear. Its about time i become selfish. Fuck everything. I ve got to prioratize whats important. As Reuben said, "You only see what you need to see. So say only wat you need to say." I wont do anything, nor would i say anythin more. I ve got enough on my hands with my studies and my friends, the ones who are there for me, to concern my self with people who, in the crudest terms, dont really give a fuck. And for the love of God, dont ask me what was that all about. Cause most of u reading this, really shouldnt give a fuck. I dont anymore. U shouldnt either....
Wednesday, November 8, 2006
I am a patient person. I know that. People tell me that. I m not patient, because i want to. I am because i have to. Because when i get angry, or have my button's pushed, it takes forever for me to calm down. I know i irritate people easily. If u dont like being irritated, tell me so. So if u do know somethin ur gonna do which is gonna piss me off, either slowly back away, or be prepared to get the full rage. It may not change anything between us, but its a side, u dont want to see. Neither do i. Yes... i m pissed off. Happy?
Sunday, November 5, 2006
not been updating as much as i would like to, not because nothings been goin, rather towards the lack of time. Orthopeadics was where i left it, a bit rusty at times, but over all not too bad. MGH is def larger than muar, and bloody hell, the MOs are amazingly helpful, esp this dude DR AR. He takes time to tell us which cases are good, and does explain the basic stuff. Was in the OPD the other day, when the HOD asked a few of us to write the cases in the actual hospital file. All this while, the BHT - bed hospital ticket- i.e. the file, was only seen by us. I know its nothin much, but u know.... =) Dr B.SR, was in his best element. He s the kinda guy, who doesnt tolerate nonsense. If u do ur work, or at least try to, he s happy. If u dont, u know what happens. Fair person, i figure. So, during clincis... Student : *pointin to the frame on the bed, used to support broken limbs* Sir, What is this?
Dr B.SR: *looks at it, without blinking* That is a steel rod. amazing stuff i tell u. Was in the A&E yesterday after the common programme. Was in the plaster room, assisting in a above knee Plaster, when the plaster kept fallin on my shoes. That was good fun. Uhm... nothin else rather... yea... uhm...
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
uhm... 100 days which shook my life has been delayed for the followin reasons. I got no time now, i need to really think bout it, and i m gonna watch jillandru ore kaathal or somethin like that. Also, i m leaving for the village for a week... so no updates =) happy deepavali.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Yea... lots of minor distractions, which i... really not sure what to say about, but... i guess even tho how much i say i know people, characters etc, i m still learning. Still learning bout social interactions, and how msn is different than the world. How, sometimes i could be wrong. That being said, i still take pride in myself, esp in judging characters. Not in the sense, if a person is a fucked up person, no... i cant be bothered. More towards the sense that how is this person is goin to affect me in anyways... Been a believer in balance... and it comes around i guess. So... this entry would be to review my principles, and also as inspired by liverpoolfc.tv... the (almost) 100 days that shook my life... the wrong way. Almost cause not because i dont think there s 100, cause probably i cant remember a hundred. =) My principles would be 1) My religion is my life. Never let anythin interfere with It
2) My family comes 2nd to none
3) Never go after or declare intrest in an attached woman.
4) If i like someone in that way, she's the 1st to know.
5) Always walk away
6) Believe in a balance. What goes around, comes around. Aight... and now to the (almost) 100 days... *may come in installments, and in no particular order...* actually on second thought... maybe i should list it out 1st... yea... watch this space tomorro =) 100 days that shook my life. Good and Bad. In other news, did well for my ortho and peads. Passed obg... so left with surgery and medicine... which i m more confident with surgery... go figure =) oh and i dont know what s wrong with the tag board. damn...
Monday, October 16, 2006
i should update more often... but i m too busy gettin screwed over by life... but i m loving it. Why? Cause there's a balance. The more i m screwed now, the better it is for me later... it always is. =)
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Paeds posting is really enjoyable. Met this lil girl, Wahidah. A 7 month old kiddo, who is a hyperactive asthmatic, who is one of the most adorable kiddo i ve seen in a while. She s not scared of me, pulls my chin and ears... and she s smiling happily. Though i ll be happy not to see her, meaning she being healthy, i guess a part of me is gonna miss her. Dammit... In other news, Smelly Fool is making all of us pissed off. I swear, there was 4 people who wanted to kill him out of the 6 people in the room... (one was Prof SJ). He revealed his plans to Prof SJ bout bunkin class after the End post, as though it was a proud and right thing to do. Because of that, Prof SJ threatend to have the EOP on the very last day, throwin a spanner in most of our plans. Most of us planned to skip the last class in order to make it home early, by passin the traffic. Argh... Luckily, it was settled and now its not on friday... but we still want to kill him =) Donated a pint of blood today. HB is down to 16.1, meaning i m not polycythemic anymore. Only thing i can infer from this is i ve been keepin my self more hyrdated, meanin diluted blood. Ah well... Spent 3 hours in the gym after that, a record i think for me... Tired... hahaha.... ok. =)
Saturday, October 7, 2006
bout time i updated. Not that i havent had the time, just that... nevermind. Ah well... what can i say. Paeds postings is by far the most chilled out postings ever. Almost like a holiday, but the thing is, even tho the classes are relaxing, we still do end up learning stuff. I think it has to do with the nature of the subject. Went out for dinner with 2 very intresting people earlier. Intrestin in the sense that, their both my msn buddies, and one i ve never seen properly before. The dinner itself wasnt too good i guess. Pak Putra's standars have dropped a bit... or maybe i over hyped the food. Ah well. While at dinner, all of a sudden there were some 10 lecturers turnin up. Not that it matters, but i still find it odd that lecturers here are held in a higher regard, esp off campus. I mean in classes, yes, there has to be a gap of authority between us and them, but outside... i donno la... ah well i m off to watch Vanished now... =)
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