Malas want to label... the dog is my aunts neighbours. Sleep.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
So, slept at 1 am on Tuesday night, to wake up at 3 to watch liverpool play west ham. Good 2-1 win. Still havent missed a liverpool match on tv since march 2005. Its gonna take something really big or special for me to break that chain i figure...
Went for postings on Wed mornin, but missed radiology as the limes needed to be placed on the hooks and tied. Reuben came over and that was done within the hour. Left for the Caves at 4 after Med and Ortho classes, with Jothi joining in. Loges passed out at the back seat, after spendin the night in the Labour room. Cant wait for ONG... ugh.
Took a slightly longer detour, avoidin the Sg Besi tol, which was as said on the radio, jammed to the bone. Gave the guys a tour of Bukit Bandaraya houses. I ve always loved those houses. When i was stayin in Bangsar, while in Taylors, for a week or so, i used to take the LRT feeder bus and it passes these houses. So many different types, but all had one common theme. Awesome cars... SLKs, Ferraris, and some even vintage old cars.
Reached Bangsar on time, and left for the caves. Before leaving, specifically told my cousin, Chalven, to drive slow, cause these kl rows are a maze. For me, u can drop me any where in KL, i ll find my way to bangsar, but i cant do the opposite to save my life. So, as i was driving and followin him, what does he do? He cuts left and right and left, goes to the bus lane, cuts here and there again.
Kuhan : Eh reuben, keep and eye on their car ah... Reuben : yea ok. Kuhan : *drives straight as their car takes a left* Reuben : macha their car is over there...
Lovely aint it? =) so i tell reuben to call them up...
Chalven : stick on to the road to Jalan Ipoh... u should reach a roundabout. Take left at the roundabout. Reuben : We just passed the roundabout... and went straight. Chalven: Ai.. nevermind. The next turnin turn left. Reuben: We just passed the turning...
At this point, i do what i always do. Get to somewhere i know, even tho it takes longer. So made my way to my aunts place on the other side of Batu Caves and walked there. Took a good half hour extra, but at least it was better than being lost in KL. *there no pictures at the moment, will post as soon as i get it, or will email*
So, went to the temple, and this year, somehow or rather managed to control myself. On the way to the temple, hearing the Urumee melam, almost lost it a few times, but still controlled la... Got the stuff done and the urumee settled. The urumee fellas this year wasnt as good as the fellas we got last year. Ah well... better then nothin i suppose. The piercings went well as did the walk up.
Last year, i had 2 drunk fellas fall on my feet. This year was a wee bit different. i had white people, white as in american / european / southkoreans / singaporeans taking pictures. As Loges said, every step of the way, from the 1st lime being hooked to the last hook being taken out was photographed but by different people. I dont remember all, but i do remember one white man, bout 6 feet plus takin pictures of me with his bright flash. It wasnt the regular flash, this was blinding flashes. Being the hero i am, i just stared at him, and his face just dropped and he disappeard. heh =).
Then up in the caves, from the entrance right up to the time i took the milk to give the Lord, one singaporean fella was snappin away. *he s singaporean cause he was talkin to Loges and Jothi, and he told em* After everythin was over, he comes up to me, shakes my hand, and tells me, "Congratulations on fulfillin your vow". Gotta give it to these singaporeans. =)
So, while i was sitting down, and Chalven was takin out the lime from the back, i hear my mom whispering in my ear, "Kuha, there s this boy who wants your blessing." I look infront and i see this man carryin his kid. I mean like what was i supposed to do. This kid was bout 6 months based on my assesment that he can sit up straight, but still a bit off balance. I cant go againts my own beleives and bless this kid. Its just not right. So, i just took some of the ash, and passed it to the father, burnin my thumb a bit in the process. People need to realize that being in trance is not being God. I dont bless people.
Apart from that, it was pretty much the same as last year, but the crowd was less as we were earlier than last year. Made our way back to the car and seeing all the "Aiya's" in trance, it just gives me a feeling. I mean, i know this year i compromised a lot. Somethin i ve never done. I went out on new years eve even when i was fasting, drank water on occasions, with reasons tho, but still... compromised. This year didnt feel as good as last. Maybe next year will be better.
Drove back to Melaka after a quick stop in bangsar. Annoyed Reuben by refusing him to let him drive. I dont know why, but i just tak boleh be a passenger in my own car. With my brother cant say much, cause its his car also, but otherwise... i donno la... susah. Anyways, pics will be here, or emailed. The previews look pretty decent... Sleep beckons.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
At times like this i wish i dont have that moral block in between my synapses. Time to make a choice boy...
Friday, January 26, 2007
Pediatrics. I love them kids. Prof I said my beard may be a problem, but the kids, esp the infants, find it bloody amusing. They keep on pullin on it... at least my glasses are spare tho. Otherwise, its... quite relaxing, but ortho anyday... Ai...
Nothin much otherwise. Gotta get the car done up for the KL trip on wed. Apparently Arvind is carryin a kudum this year as well, but not sure if he s coming with us on Wed, or goin on Sunday.
Reminds me of the first time i carried. Had no idea why i wanted to do it, but i did it. Was... 7 or 8 that time. People ask me now, why do i do it. Especially this year. I already told myself, this is an in-between year. I had no vows to fulfill this year, but i still have 6 years of backlog with the dear God. That being said though, i have to say i take some pride in doing this. How many people (my friends that is) out there can go 2 months with out eating meat? Its just a thing i do... ah well... I was the first in the family to do it, then Indra akka, then Maani Akka, then Siva anna, and this years 3 big suprises, Arvind, Madhu (possibly) and Navam akka. =) Sigh... cant wait for Wednesday...
Which Sesame Street Muppet's Dark Secret Are You?
The Count's Obsessive-Compulsive DisorderIt started with a simple affection for counting and the terror it induced in others, didn't it? But now it's turned into a full-blown life-consuming chaotic nightmare of order, repetition, zealousness, and perfectionism. You used to be so grand, but now you find yourself obsessively worrying over the littlest things--like, maybe if you don't check the light switch at least once every two minutes, the electricity will go out (and damnit, you're a vampire--that shouldn't be a problem!), or maybe if you don't wash your hands until your seams are coming out, you'll get some fatal disease. Get yourself some treatment. Take this quiz!
In other news... Uhm... wait and see approach beckons.
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Why do people do what they do? when i say people, i mean people... including myself. I ll rephrase. Why do i do what i do? I know the what, i sometimes know the why, but most of the time, its a random hit, and luckily most of the time for me its a hit. What fucks it up is, that niggling feeling in the corner of my ventricle which i just cant get rid off.
I m pretty sure i know whats the cause, but the thing is i cant do anythin about it yet... It could be a good thing, could be the worst thing which happens to me... Point is i already know what i want to do, as in my mind is made up, but just the timing is poor. After all, what have i got to lose? I ve said it just a few weeks ago, i should be out of this place in about 9 months, and depending on where my housemanship takes me, i should be away.
That said also, i ve realized i have kinks in my armour. I let myself get sucked in to this position, and i really have no one to blame. Ironically though, this has no effect on my life, as i think i can safely say my group-mates are more or less enjoying my company, as in compared to few weeks back.
Was watchin Cinderella man on Star, when i decided. Before i die, i will watch at least one competative Liverpool match, preferably at Anfield, and also a boxing match live, preferably a heavyweight title fight. Damn.... and this is without Rocky V... is it rocky V? Dammit...
Anyways, with regards to the previous entry, i meant it about no one in particular. Just the random letting go...
You've Changed 72% in 10 Years
Compared to who you were ten years ago, you've changed a great deal.
In fact, you're probably in a completely different phase of your life - and very happy about it!
Thursday, January 18, 2007
i wanna explain something, to my self. Writing it out here, may not be the best way, but as i ve said, everythin is a calculated risk. Somehow expressing it out by typing is more... yea. Might bore those reading, but uhm... i really dont give a fuck.
Anyways, that feeling in the bottom of the left ventricle. I ll be fair to myself, and as i told Ayu, i like many people. Many. Up to the state, one may call me a picky bastard, and i should look at myself in the mirror. I do, however, know where i stand, knowing that i aint exactly that good looking and I realize the fact that i cannot have any woman i want, by just blinkin my eyes and lookin like Dorothy Dandridge. Where that came from i dont know. I do know however, that i read people well.
Well... up to a certain degree at least, better than most. So, when i get mixed signs, i tend to get a bit confused. Me... confused. I have to say that rarely happens. When it happens tho, i do figure it out quickly enough, or i come to an acceptable conclusion that satisfies my thoughts... i.e. it goes back to the ever so popular 2+2. *at this point i m an hour into this entry* I put things together, based on a variety of stuff, but the most influential one would be the experience. I would like to think, that i have gone thru most of the negative emotions, which i was proven wrong in a distant past. That being said tho, i ve had a term for myself ever since form 5. "the boyfriend with out benifits". That should be self explainatory, but to the slower ones, people, women rather, have been tellin me their problems ever since i hit puberty.
Maybe i invite on to myself. I dont know really. Maybe its in my genes. I dont know. What i do know is, i cant turn people away. People look at me, and think only one thing. What mood is he in today? If he talks, he s in an elevated mood. If he s quiet, lets just stay away from him... This is not particularly relevent, but the most overused question is "are you ok?"
I think the point i want to stress to myself is, i know what i m talkin bout. I should go with what my head tells me. My head is right. 100%. As mr williams, if i m not mistaken, said... "the ego has landed"
That aside...
Woke up at 7 to go for clinics, as in try to regulate some sorta cycle... get into a rhythm even... was in the wards by 810... only to realize that class starts at 11. Honestly... what the fuck.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Paeds is making me lazy... and stupid. Really stupid. I used to have absolutely no trouble wakin up at 630 to make it for 8am ward rounds for ortho. No trouble at all. These days, i wake up at 7, reset the alarm for 745, and go to the ward round 830 *after a breakfast of bread and milo*, prayin that the lecturer is not there yet. It could be due to the lack of food intake, and the viral infection, which has cleard up, but overall... paeds is just bleargh... I can see myself doin it... but the postings... making me lazy.
Feeling stupid is another thing... esp in Profs I's classes. I have never felt stupider in a classroom before. Everythin he is sayin is greek and latin, and i just pretend to nod my head in agreement. Each class is like watchin House M.D. where the diagnosis is one rare diesease u'll prob see once in 3 lifetimes. Though i understand that he is tryin to teach an apporach to the case, it still... i donno la.
The sluggish feelin is quite annoying even. I have a mid sem in medicine in about 4 hours, and i havent read most of the topics. I have done some readin, the guilt not lettin me sleep, but argh...
now would be a good time to start some amphetamines...
Saturday, January 13, 2007
everythin that u know or have figured out is likely cause i wanted u to know. pretty arrogant statement, but unfortunately, i know what i m talkin bout.
