[The Devil Doesn't Exist...]

Monday, August 1, 2005
Am i lucky or unlucky? Was lazy this mornin, skipped class only to find out that class was dismissed at 930 and i didnt get attendance. Thing is, Prof got worked up by some seniors and started firing everyone, which was why they were dismissed at 930... and guess who s presentin the case tomorro? Hahaha... it sucks being me...

Addin to Profs quotes *accrdin to Urs* - " i dont care if the four of u strip naked and do each other" Indeed. Anyways... off i go...

Sunday, July 31, 2005

the Idiot Savant
(43% dark, 56% spontaneous, 44% vulgar)

your humor style:
VULGAR | SPONTANEOUS | LIGHT

You like things silly, immediate, and, above all, outrageous. Ixne on the subtle word play, more testicles on fire, please. People like you are the most likely to RECEIVE internet forwards--and also the most likely to save them in a special folder entitled 'HOLY SHIT'.

Because it's so easily appreciated, and often a little physical, your sense of humor never ceases to amuse your friends. But most realize that there's a sly intelligence and a knowing wink to your tastes. Your sense of humor could be called 'anti-pretentious'--but ironically, that definitely indicates you're smarter than most.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Johnny Knoxville - Jimmy Kimmel

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 20% on dark

You scored higher than 77% on spontaneous

You scored higher than 75% on vulgar

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid

Saturday, July 30, 2005
Yea. i think i know where i stand. aint bitter bout it. knew it all along. but it still intrigues me. Intrigues me? Fuck I m just annoyed. No wait… I donno what I feel. I just want to get drunk and forget bout everythin and nothing at all… sigh. i know better... indeed i know better.

Anyways, 1st week of surgery ended. Not as stressfull as the 1st minor postings. Prof has been good with us, havnt been chased out but he might not be takin us next week leavin us with Dr R... today...

DR R : present ur case.
Kuhan : Sir, Prof ask to present to him in the classroom later...
DR R : Oh, Prof ask to present is it? ... Hmmm... *walks away*

He comes back later and asks AB to presnt the finding s to the other batch and stand s next to me. At that time , my handphone alarm rings.

Just got back from a BBQ after klebang beach. Ere are the pics. Indeed. There are somemore, will put it up after i get it. Oh, and i ve done it. One can of coke in one go... with burps la...

Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Yea. Actually i ve been unfair in my judgement of surgery for the first 3 days. The Old Man loves my batch. I donno why. He hasnt sent anyone out, he s pattin all of us on our backs, he s shouted a few times, but never really lost his temper. Usually, and this holds good for 85% of the time, he takes one case, fires everyone, and sends everyone back to the campus as they are deemed "incompetant" enough to step foot in the wards... but with our batch today, he took 3 cases. 3 CASES. i mean like wat the fuck. He s been so good to us. Beginnin to see why the seniors call him a darling. If u d asked me when i was in manipal, i d say we were lucky not to get him, but after today, i d say we are lucky TO get him... Even begin to understand how to respond to him. Show no fear. Indeed. Was in the lift with him, talkin to him like he was my uncle or somethin, and as we came out, i saw two seniors, girls, comin out of the fire exit, seeing him and goin back the same way they came... U see what i mean bout the fear factor. Rumours from manipal is he sends people out for wearin wrong ties, not shavin.... i m keepin a beard. Prof Mv is da man...

Hmm... let s see. What else is been goin on... nothin much. Cooked mee goreng without a stove, or a hot plate... indeed. Survivin... survivin... Lainie wrote bout a beach rave... sounds intrestin enough, but its one week b4 sessionals, and i need to pull a rabbit outta my ass for opthal and ent... ai.. what to do... what to do... well, back to breast carcinoma... indeed.

*edit* somethin off Soccernet - " Throw in the indignity of seeing Liverpool somehow record a fifth European Cup triumph in May as United failed even to reach the last eight, and the Scot's position looks increasingly shaky." wahahaha... and somethin from FaceAnalyzer... 3 pics of me... all givin different readings. intrestin indeed.

*edit* dont know if i should post this up, but this is what i cut and pasted from a blog of someone i knew long time back but didnt get along quite well... anyways, since he posted it, i guess if i dont comment on it, i guess i can post it back... make ur own conclusions yea... "what r d branches or internal carotid artery in d willie's circle??? how am i supposed to know dat coz datz like such a difficult question n d best part is, itz d arteries of the brain, the most complicated part in d human body!!!but now, after she haz sent me back after two times of me attempting to clear my exams, i am prepared for anything she haz to ask me coz i noe she will try her best to send me back again!!!god bless her!!! as for bondarenko, who cares what specific granules r there in neutrophils??? as long as i can save a life in d end, datz good enough!ok...cool..."

Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Surgery surgery surgery... ai... Gettin fired over and over again... but not sent out yet. Maybe tomorro, maybe not.. ai... this morning...

U : My patients name is Faisal, 22, M...
Prof : Stop. Is that how u start? How would u like it if *lookin at AB* some stranger called up ur father and called him *by his name*? Is this how u respect the patient? U fools have to learn humility first. Write down 5 times in your books his name properly...
U : My patients name is En Faisal bin *somethin*

U : i m not gonna forget his name ever. Fariz bin *something*
kuhan : hei... his name is Faisal...

Sunday, July 24, 2005
Surgery tomorro... stress after stress after stress... fuck this shit... havnt used that in a while... fuck this shit...

Sunday, July 24, 2005
Yea... fun night it was... went out with the fip, sanj, sand, and yu-lee. So it was me and four gals. *of which two kept on doubtin my sexuality* i m sayin this for the last time. I hav no attraction for men. If men like me and want to perform oral sex on me, they can go jump in the river. Ever since i came back from manipal, its been brought up over and over again... yea it s funny, but please find someother sorta way to badger me la...

Anyways, while dinner, sanj was tellin me how she learnt tamil, and somehow she said she could count in tamil...

Kuhan : so count la...
Sanj : ondru, mundru, nallu... (one , three, four...)
Kuhan : what happend to two?
Sanj : i forgot...

i give up... :P Went to a place called Bamboo, which is named after a tree as Fip points out* where after a live performance, the play a cd with songs like Ronan Keating's When u say nothin at all. I was wonderin. If u ve watched the clip, it shows Ronan sittin on a bench in the park. Just imagine a goat being on scene with him an as he sings, the goat goes..," beeek beek.... mbeekkk..." and starts chewin on his pants...

On a more serious note, i was quite taken aback when the fip said that i was spreadin rumours bout someone i knew in manipal. What can i say? i heard it from 2 people, i think one was K *fip u know K* and the other i think was *T* and based on what i saw, i just put 2 and 2 together.... well... thinkin bout it now, maybe i was wrong in assuming... hmmm... *smacks himself on the head*

Friday, July 22, 2005
yea. Medicine end posting went well i think. 26 1/2 out of 30. that means i need 24 1/2 outta 70 from my continous assesment to pass... should have bloody slept last night. The paper was an exact carbon copy of Jeffs paper. Wasted my time only... ah... cant be bothered... Surgery starts monday... die...

Fip and Sanj came over to chill in the orange house. We were watchin Mtv and Hitz.tv when suddenly my itchy fingers flipped it over to Vaanavil, where a "pyramid natarajan" *i swear that s his real name* was strugglin to eat idli with a spoon. (typical kampung macha la...) Then later when he goes to wash his hands, his "machal", who was also washin her hand, sprayed water in his direction. Guess what happens next.... They are a few thousand miles away, in a new costume, and dancin and singin... and my money is on the fact that after the song and dance, they are back in the shop, wearing the same clothes as before... indeed. and i mock malay films.... bah...

Friday, July 22, 2005
medicine end postings... ai... stress... stress... ai... ai... ai... wait surgery again next monday... AI... AI... AI... AI.... *imagine another 87456 "ai"'s...

Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Yea. Med presentation. Took the case with fellow of the fellowship of the orange house, Adam. I was supposed to present history while Adam the examination. Best part? Our patient is a bomoh. like.... what the fuck la... and he said he used to work as a Forecast Officer at Sg Buloh Air Field. History wasnt as accurate as it should, but Dr PS came in and asked to just give a short case presentation. *that means i give a few sentences and which i did* So that left Adam cursin as he had to do a full examination. Indeed.

This had me thinkin a while later. I m gonna be workin with a lot of weird characters. intresting. Dr House *everytime i type that, it appears as "Dr HOuse"* met a mobster... and got a 1960-somethin-modified-car-of-unknown-brand. Yea... if i m so lucky...

And last but not least, the song which fits me now, and is not leavin my head... Coldplays - Fix You

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

High up above or down below
when you too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what your worth

Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears streaming down your face and I

Tears streaming down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face and I

Wednesday, July 20, 2005
indeed. i have a medicine presentation in about 7odd hours, and i prepared for it by watchin Dr HOuse. yes. I m a genius monkey in a lab coat. Indeed indeed...

Sent 21 red roses to someone in manipal for HER 21st. She seems happy enough to call me "sweet" *no idea what that means* and errr... yea... i m gonna sleep... sweet... hmmmm...

Monday, July 18, 2005
yea.. fuckin just woke up. Actually woke up at 645, but it was raining, and felt soooooo goooood to sleep, so i just went back to sleep. Not before waking Jeff and Adam up la... since i doubt if i didnt, they'd not wake up either.

When it rains, shit pours. Not only am i broke till next month, there s some added burdens. Reuban borrowed Jason's portable harddisk to get the Dr House series, who then passed it to me. After watchin the first 6 episodes, Justin said he wanted it. So i burnt what i could, on DVD, and passed it to Justin, only for him not to detect it on his laptop. Now i cant detect it. Neither can Reuban. Thing is the light is on, but the fucker just doesnt detect. What the fuck... Have to replace it la... ai... and it keeps gettin better. My clothes are wet in the rain... Fuck this... i m goin back to sleep...

Sunday, July 17, 2005
i m still bleedin awake... feel a lot relieved tho. lol... snore...

Kuhan says: Hei do me a favor. type me an email on how to setup a torrent. Thnx.
[KC Ng] says: Huh
[KC Ng] says: wat the
[KC Ng] says: Later
[KC Ng] says: u not back?
Kuhan says: Nope
[KC Ng] says: Ok. teach u later
Kuhan says : aight thnx.
[KC Ng] says: i tot doc suppose to know all this
Kuhan says : i know what an intracerebral hemorrhage is
[KC Ng] says: Oh
[KC Ng] says: i know what a RAM is
Kuhan says: not a bit torrent connection in Siberia
Kuhan says: random access memory?
[KC Ng] says: not some intrastellar war
Kuhan says: is it r.a.m.?
[KC Ng] says: dun kacau
[KC Ng] says: watchin show
[KC Ng] says: Shhhhhhhhh
Kuhan says: ahahah..fucker knows i m right
[KC Ng] says: Bsh
[KC Ng] says: Bsh
[KC Ng] says: Bah
[KC Ng] says: Humbug

Anyways. Dr House. Any med student, doc, whatever, readin this, d/l it. or gimme 2 dvd rs. i ll burn it for ya. Watch it... lol.

Just got back from servicin the car, and washin in too... I need to learn how to maintain the car better... yea... back to Dr house... wooosh....

Friday, July 15, 2005
Yea. its about 3 in the morning and i m talkin to someone on MSN. As i ve told fip, mymind is 3/4 open these days, so yea. Lol. Went to watch Fantastic Four. Was supposed to go with my housemates. Went to wake em up...

Me : Jeff, comin or not?
Jeff : Adam goin or not?
ME : *Goes to Adam's room* Wei, coming or not?
Adam : *groggily* wei... tapau one burger chicken combo, chicken burger combo, x meal, chicken combo burger... *some weird sounds*
Me : *goes back to jeff's room* dei, he s not comin, i m goin. Bye.

So i go outside, and i remember that the Fip has half day classes. Called her and went to watch FF. The movie was good, followed the comics to the tee, xcpt the dark magic practised by Doom. The casting was good as well as the character potrayals... Intresting... Ok. Gonna try to sleep. Ai...

Thursday, July 14, 2005
yea... not much postings due to the final year exams. Anyways u wanna know how annoyin i could be? The followin is a text msg conversation between me and the shakee.

The Shakee : Hei, where to go to buy a computer here?
Me : U go to a computer shop la. When u wanna buy fish, u go to the market. U wanna buy chicken, u go to Ayamas.
The Shakee : Why do i even bother askin you?

There were a few more exchanges, but i cant remember... lol... due to lack of sleep. Slept at 6 after watchin liverpool bea TNS 3-0. Should have been more but morientes is a suspect... Cisse's improvin. That s good. Gonna watch Fantastic Four now, cheers...

Monday, July 11, 2005
Yea. Anyways, Dr S took medicine today. Really nice guy and he tries to make the lecture really intrestin. So here s what he said, (not exact words la...)

Dr S : There s a few things i dont like bout ur country *him being Indian*. First of all, the drains. The Big Monsoon drains *like the one next to the orange house*. Why is it not covered? Its a breeding ground for mosquitoes and it smells HORRIBLE. If anyone of you become the Director of Health i hope u look into this...

To which the class was like stunned la, cause he was serious and all... and then...

Dr S : The other thing i REALLY dont like is... Belacan. I cant stand the smell...

AB : but sir, its an acquired taste.
Dr S : I ve acquired many taste, but not the belacan.

DR S is da man... lol. Anyways, was on the computer till 6 somethin when i was hungry and went to collect my food from the door when...

In non related issue - If women are equal as men, how come men still have to wear shirts, ties and shoes to classes, while women are allowed to wear t-shirts, even if it s collered? hmmm.... equality indeed.

Sunday, July 10, 2005
yea... klang's still the same. Still the same. Quite happy with that. Klang Kuhan made a bried appearance over the weekend, and now it back to the manipal Kuhan... aiseh... Anyways... had a nice long chat with the guys and made up my mind on a few things... see how that goes and eres wat happend.

Made my way to Kl, in a bus which was 3/4 filled with Indonesians. *i dont have anythin against them mind u* 2 of them annoyed me. One was speakin on the handphone as though the person she s talkin to is 50 ms away, while the other thought she was Avril Lavinge and was singin her heart out... idiot... and then met Fip and came back to melaka. Stopped by the view point...

Friday, July 8, 2005
Finally. I m bunkin classes tomorro to go home. Cant wait. Mentally tired. Almost got jacked at postings cause I was zonin out... Bugger. Lets see didnt go for postings yesterday --> didnt know what was thought --> didnt read bout the case --> knew jack shit bout the case --> got jacked for not answerin him... ahhh... fuck this shit. Monday. Ah...

The bombings. To be honest, it didnt come as a suprise. It s like I'm already sensatized to these type of violance. That s not right. This shouldnt be happening. The tsunami ok la, it was nature. Not bombings. But thats not what which disgust me. Thats reserved for the immidiete shiftin of blame to the Muslims. I'm not sayin who s responsible ere, i m just tryin to figure out this repulsive human behaviour of segregating races, cultures and religion. What the fuck? Why do people do stupid stuff and blame it on religion? Why do people still behave like apes when it comes to Asians in UK? True, these might be isolated cases, but still isolated cases are more than enough to support the claims. I remember Lee Bowyer turned down a move to the Birmingham area due to fear of lashback of the Asians in the area. Why should people be afraid in their own country? Esp due to a racial cause. Anyone readin this, please download John Lennon's Imagine. There is no place for racism, terrorism or whatever in this world... Yea...

Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...

Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

Imagine no possesions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say Im a dreamer,
but Im not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one...

Thursday, July 7, 2005
Ai... failed ENT by one mark. 19/40. The fuck la... gonna go see what can be done with that paper... Changed the layout after experimentin, not bad for someone who aint know nothin of HTML eh? hehehe... Back from the hair cut. At the barber, near bukit beruang, it was somethin different. There was an old gentleman cuttin hair of the older generation and a 20-somethin-year-old-guy doin the hair of the younger people. It looked like a Mafia Joint. The younger people lookin like first class ruffians but still respectin the old man, while gettin their long hair *which i swear, if Prof MVK sees, he ll just chew the bloody thing off* done. ai... That aside, decided to get a different cut.

Indeed. While out on my pathetic excuse for a run, i bumped into AB and another gal, who were havin tea in LAN.

Kuhan : *runnin*
AB : *from the shop* KUHAN!!!
Kuhan : *turns and look, while runnin*
AB : Did u get a haircut???
Kuhan : *thinks ... **wtf?? i m half bald, and shes askin me if i got a haircut??? ** errm... ***waves and continues runnin***

and last but not least - Chris Martin of Coldplay *anyone wanna buy me a copy of X&Y???* from Live 8 and a case of Curry Puff gone wrong...

Thursday, July 7, 2005
Yea. Bunked Medicine postin this morning as planned. Needed a break and since there was no class this afternoon, it was a well welcomed break. Got up at 1130, due to Shakee s "KUHAN!!!! WAAKKEEE UPP...." as she passed by the orange house after class... What am i to do with that girl... Ai... Anyways, went to Ayamas for their awfully expensive Chicken Rice and watched 2 movies back to back on Star, Face Off and Try 17. Beginnin to really like One Tree Hill. Nice story, decent actors. Yea. Hmmm... wat else? Car needs servicing, i m still tired, think i ll get a hair cut... Yea... oh and looks like Stevie G s stayin... intrestin...

Wednesday, July 6, 2005
*gasps* the true reason why i need a car in melaka? Not to buy food... not to get to the hospital in case of an emergency... BUUTTTT....

Tuesday, July 5, 2005
Yea. Just got back from the Malacca Club, where the refugees of the orange house were treated to a really nice meal by Jeff's parents. Sweet Sour Fish, Some Funky Chicken *not real name*, kangkung belacan... the works la... would have taken pictures, but then the aftermath from Chiru and my brother would have been unbearable... waahaha... Funny tho, while enjoyin the fish, i kept on tellin Adam bout Jackie's Sweet and Sour meals in manipal, which for manipal standards are ok la... but miles away compared to Kedai Makanan Ching Ho or somethin... Ah... And people wonder why Malaysian s have the highest Diabetis rates...

Anyways, Steven G. *organizes thoughts* A month ago he say " How could i leave after a night like this?" Now he s puttin in a transfer request. Whats there to say? Obv money is an issue ere. Real's offerin of 150k a week, *thats more than my 5 years in medicine* is much more temptin than the 100k liverpool are offerin, but the point is, when the speculation came up last season he

a) Wanted to win trophies.
b) Wanted to have better squad players
c) *and obviously* more money.

He s won everythin in european club football excpt the Primiership, the squad is being expanded with the influx of "talent" in Barragan and Gonzalez (who might NOT end up like La Tellec, whom i still think can do somethin...) and players like Zenden (whos probably a combination of Biscan and Smicer) and Reina, and well 100k a month is not peanuts. What else does he want? If he does go to Chelsea, its gonna be around 35 million. Thats alot of money. Who could come in? Essien? Aimar? Robinho? a bit far fetched i agree... but so was winnin the Champions League. Lol....

Goin on, Medicine presentation went ok... cover all the examinations, but would have lost marks in the order of presentation.. fuck that la... More pressin was my OBG paper. Passed it with 30/50. I was expectin 40/50 by the wat i answered. Initially disappointed, but then a few of the class toppers, got round 30-33, so i felt a bit better, only to find out some of the underachiever s got some 40 marks... Apparently there was some differences in the markin by lecturers. Some were more stingy while some were liberal... ai... How la like this... And a pattern was established. I wrote 2 pages for the first question - 6.5 marks. 4 pages for the 2nd answer - 6 marks. Rest immaterial of the answer 6 marks. Fuck la... Malas wanna argue. Good night...

Monday, July 4, 2005
U wanna know what bout my med collage is? Check this list out. Its the list of lecturers that are teachin us at the moment. Problem is... i dont know 95% of the people in the people on the part time list. Whats goin on...?

Monday, July 4, 2005
ANYWAYS, *leavin MMMC aside*, I wanna talk bout my mentor. LOL... He s a nice guy. He loves his students and is always concerned bout their welfare... like for instance

*This happend in the office in first year, where due to my father's ill health i missed a few weeks of lectures...* **In the office**

Beams Parents : Good mornin Dr *MyMentor*. We are Beams Parents, and we want to know how our son is doin in his studies...
Dr MM : Your son is not doin too well. He s failing his papers and is not attendin classes regularly.
Beams Parents : But...
DR MM : And also, i think he has to improve on his attiude as well...
Beam s Parents : But u sent us a letter sayin that he scored distinction in all subjects and 100% attendence in all blocks...
*checks register* Oh i m sorry, i thought u were Kuharajan's Parents.

*This happend when a few of us were waiting for the bus to take us to Karkala, during the same time when the 2nd year refreshers were carryin papers had practicals for blocks, when DR MM walks up to us...

DR MM : So how was ur practicals?
Kuhan :Sir... what practicals?
Dr MM : Ur carryin papers right?
Kuhan : Sir... i passed my 2nd year... on my first attempt... i m waitin for the bus to go to Karkala.
DR MM :Oh yea...

Anyways, thats DR My Mentor. Nice chap... often confused. Maggie, do u still think i miss him ? :) cheers.

Saturday, July 2, 2005
Referrin back to a few weeks ago, where i was under stress due to undisclosed reasons, my behavioural pattern was undoubtably changed. It was in fact likend to pre menapausal syndrome by some, yet due to the sensitivity of the situation, i m unable to again disclose the reasons, therefore unable to defend myself. That being said, takin into consideration that i have changed, for the worse i fear, i need to undo many things. I want to be who i was before i went to manipal. I want to be the klang kuhan. The one which rarely got him self in corners, not with anyone else, but himself. This is not psychological banter, it is just a form of expression. I ve always said that thinkin too much cause a person to think of things which are more unlikely than not to occur. So, where do i find myself? I find myself thinkin too much. My thoughts seem coherent enough, yet i find it lackin...

i ve come to a conclusion that i need someone to push me the extra mile. That was somethin i never got out of my prev relationship, somethin i ve never gotten at all. True, that being said, how do i know that i do need it cause i never had it. Face the facts, since 2nd year, i ve never put enough serious efforts in anything. Fuck that, i ve never put in a serious effort for any of my exams. Be it Spm, SAM, 1st year... never actually went all out. True, before the exams *like a week before* i go all out, and scrape a result. More often than not, its always been above average. While i do agree, there s been encouragement from my parents, but that s not what i m talkin about. I m talkin about a significant other who is going to be there, gonna stand besides me, gonna push me the extra mile. If u know what i m talkin about, i hope ur not in my shoes...

Whats funny s well is the timing of this train of thought. I m not under any pressure or stress, especially since minor surgery is over, and with major comin up in 3 weeks, nor am i distracted by the cloud of doubt which affected me earlier. Possibly i ve learnt to deal with the matter s, or maybe its just been swept under the rug. Either ways, matter is resolved. Emptiness is a feelin. Thought is matter. Still waitin for the push... Cheerios... oh... and go to Live 8 and sign your names please. Its for a good cause...

Friday, July 1, 2005
While waitin for my housemates to go and buy 7-Eleven Slurpee...*edit

Friday, July 1, 2005
Yea... As expected, failed surgery. Was expectin around 10 marks, but suprised to see a 30/100. hmmm... look like the last hour studyin did have SOME benifits la... Considerin that outta 120 doc wannabes only 30 passed, so yea... Adam passed, but jeff fell short a bit. Ai... The thing is, these exams generally favor those who have completed their postings in the particular subject. For instance i "think" i had an easier time with ONG compared to jeff *think cause the results are not out yet, and well, results are the end determinant* so, we ll wait and see on that... *edit. just found out i passed com med. 60%. heheheh... looks like MK was right. They give u marks for buyin a pen... lol.

Another thing, if u know sayin somethin to someone is bound to make someone say somethin which is in turn bound irritate u, why bring it up? Dont u think its just better not to say anythin at all, and then not feel irritated when u dont get the response u want. Ai... i m gonna sleep. Fuckin slept on the couch due to mosquito attacks last night. Another week endin... Fuck this shit.... hahaha...

Wednesday, June 29, 2005
bah... went to watch war of the world. Fuckin stupid story. Wait.. wat story? the movie was just tom cruise tryin to be a dad. *though morgan freeman had a nice voice over if i m not mistaken* Dakota Fanning is gonna be big, if she stays off dope. Yea... lol. Anyways, if ur gonna choose between WotW and Batty - go with Batty.

Started medicine postings again. Feelin stupid as i can t seem to get my history takin right. Wait.. i am stupid.. so ... yea. Gonna sleep now. Tired. I love u.... hahaha... yea.

Sunday, June 26, 2005
Yea. Was a bit off last night due to lack of sleep and cortisol. Surgery was bad. Knew i had no chance of passin, but still studied. I think it s the guilt la... but wat to do. Just hopin i get more than 20 marks... (outta 100.. yes, that bad...)

Anyways, got home, though dea tired, didnt sleep yet as laundry had to be done. Just my luck, the moment i hanged my last shirt, Adam's parents call up and decide to take us to lunch at the Ayer Keroh Golf Club. So, had to go la... On the way, while listenin to Hitz.fm, i decided to call em up when the cue to call for the hitz.fm free music weekend thingy came on...

Phone - teet teet...*for a good bloody minute* **on speaker phone**
The Dj : Hello Hitz.fm...
Kuhan : Hei man, am i the 5th caller thru?
The DJ : Who are u and where u r from ah?
Kuhan : err... i'm Kuhan from Melaka....
The Dj : *somethin somethin Ashanti, Ja Rule somethin somethin, then he goes on and tells me i got a cd (audioslaves new one... **woo hooo* dont REALLY like them , but hei... i m kottai, and its a free cd**.

At the end, as the phone was on speaker phone, Jeff managed to get a "YEA!!!" at the end, which he is extremely proud as its the first time he s on radio...ai.. Then the guy goes off air and asks for my details.

The Dj : Wat s ur phone number?
Kuhan : err i forgot la... wait ah. *turns around to Adam* Eh whats my phone number?
The DJ : Please tell me u know ur house adress also ah...

Malu sial.... hahaha.... Anyways, after lunch, came back home and slept. Finally. Got some 3 hours sleep, then went out wit Sanj and Fip to the San Juan and San Pedro Festival. The place was full of milf s and hot portugese women... *ok la... ere and there la...*

And last but not least, before i sleep, i m leavin u with these two. Try figuin out what they are...

Saturday, June 25, 2005
Its fuckin 6 in the morning. Dont fuckin know wat fuckin crap possesed me to study till now. Dont think its worth it. Gonna fuckin fail anyways... and ere s the product of somethin i got off Lainie's site. I'd link her, she s cool, but i dont fuckin know how. Thats why i m gonna fuckin fail my surgery. Fuck this shit...

Congratulations Kuharajan Ramalingam, you are...

Lainie Yeoh of tabulas.com/~lainie

You are funny, smart, experimental, sarcastic and artistic. You can be mean and obnoxious if you want to but most the time you're just a soft, romantic and sentimental person. Come to think of it, you are kinda like a durian - hard and thorny on the outside, but soft and sweet (not smelly) on the inside. You're always getting into trouble whether you like it or not. Your friends play a big part in your life and rightfully so because you'll never give up an opportunity to help them out if they ask. You are the life of the party.

Which Malaysian Blogger Are You?

Saturday, June 25, 2005
Spent. I m burnt out. 6 papers in 6 days is just draining and i used to bitch out havin 6 papers in one day *though that dindt matter much* Fuck surgery. Not gonna bother myself with that. Its just been crap. Load after load. Especially when i know i have not being puttin enough effort. I keep on tellin myself, to change. Change. Nice word. Nice... nice word. Easy said. Indeed. How many people change? Many do. Especially when u dont want them to, but i m beginnin to see the need to do so. I ve been sweepin thing s under the rug too long. Been puttin off things to be done today, for tomorro. The results - fail exams. Actually its a vicous cycle - Stress -> dont study -> Fail exams -> some more stress. U see where i m headin with this? I know i m cut out for this field, though i did have the initial doubt as well as a midcourse crisis, but since returnin to melaka, i have changed. I ve become more professional in my approach especially to patients, as well as to lecturers. It was pointed out to me as ass kissin once, but i ll ask you, whats with Manipal students. Are we that fucked in the head? Why are we so concerned bout the welfare and the personal life of everyone else? *i know my thoughts are not as incoherent as it should be, but try writin with a total of 24 hours sleep in 6 days...* And WHAT the FUCK is "close"??? What the fuck? "oh we re just close" "oh she s close with him" What the fuck?? I just hate that word. And all this begin in the fuckin wasteland. Its like a bloody virus which infects the social controls of people and just fucks it up like nobody's business. When i started this page, it was to share my experiences and more importantly, it s a record of my thoughts. So i can refer to it whenever the need arose. So far its serving the purpose. Ah fuck this shit... i cant think straight. I d better hit the surgery books. Cant be confused anymore. Fuck this shit...

This is the place where I sit
This is the part where I love you too much
This is as hard as it gets
Cause I'm getting tired of pretending I'm tough

I'm here if you want me
I'm yours, you can hold me
I'm empty and achin'
And tumblin' and breakin'

Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could

I dream a world where you understand
That I dream a million sleepless nights
Well I dream a fire when you're touching my hand
But it twists into smoke when I turn on the lights

I'm speechless and faded
It's too complicated
Is this how the book ends,
Nothing but good friends?

Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would

This is the place in my heart
This is the place where I'm falling apart
Isn't this just where we met
And is this the last chance that I'll ever get

I wish I was lonely
Instead of just only
Crystal and see-through
And not enough to you

Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would

Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would
The way I know you could

I just love that song... Anyways, fucked up first 3 papers. I suppose failin would be a much needed kick in the ass. Havent been studyin as hard and as much as i should. Bugger. Back to notes...

Monday, June 20, 2005
Exams. I ve passed Microbio universities... so what s com med mid sems...? Argh. Not thinkin straight. Neeed... tooo... foooocccuuuus..... Muuuuussssttt nooootttt wwwaaaatttcccchhhhh Thunnndeerrrcaaaatsss.... ARGHHHH... study... study... or die tryin. See u on saturday.

Thursday, June 16, 2005
Yea, i just came back from Batman Begins, and i was about to start raving on how dark and good it was when i get this email...

Anyways *gay stalkers aside* Batman. Amazing. Exactly how it should be. Not pretty boy val kilmer or that ER guy. ClooneY? This is the real deal. Ra's Al Ghul's genocide ideology, the concept of batman, everythin straight outta the comic book. Batmobile, as jeff pointed out, was a wee bit too fancy, but hei... it s just the begininnin. Didnt expect to see Johnathan Crane *the scarecrow* in it, but the overall castin was perfect. Micheal Cane - FANTASTIC as Alfred Pennyworth *is it pennyworth?... i cant remember* Morgan Freeman - never seen him poor in any movie. And the dude who played bruce/batty *whatever his name is* - too good. I loved it. Off to the library... study babe... study... arf arf arf... arrr.... arf arf...

Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Yea. We ve been given the afternoon off after medicine, to study, but as u might have presumed, everone in the orange house is gonna be asleep in about 10 mins... Indeed. Anyways, been a monotonous monday and tuesday, but definitely an explosive wednesday...

It was YL s turn to present the case for surgery today. Its an unspoken rule that, in surgery, if todays ur turn, and the lecturer doesnt take ur case, the next day u dont have to present, meanin that the followin person presents. So in our 6, Group C2 b, there was no problem. However in C2 A, havoc. SA was supposed to present but she s already presented before while there were people in her group who havent presented, and well she wasnt too thrilled la...

So then the baton was passed to Scats. *dont ask* While C2A were clerkin their case, C2B went to clerk our own case, where we bumped into Prof MVK. Instead of askin us to present, he "invited" us to view the end posting examintions of the final year students. Abhi, Nm and UJ got sent out for writin the right things, while me and YL didnt. hmmm.... Since the senior didnt know how to percuss a liver, *final year student mind you*, he asked me to do it. Instead of doin a proper percussion method, * from the chest downwards* i used the palpation method * from the abdomen upwards* and ididnt get sent out... There s something wrong somewhere...

So after the end postings, we went to see Scats present her case. HOrrible. Just plain unacceptable. She couldnt get past the DETAILS OF THE PATIENT *name address age etc* Buggers... That left Prof with no choice but to send us out and "teach her how to presnt a proper history" He then asked us to go back to the classroom. On the way to the class , thats when the shit flew..

Abhi *the class rep* asked all of u to let out any ill feelings we have. SA went on and on bout how it wasnt fair for her to take case twice, and then went on to bring up "past history" bout abhi not passin msgs and information smoothly enough... Politics... Then CP started badgerin Scats for not being efficient enough present the case properly, leadin to us being chased out. I stood up for Scats, cause well, she wasnt defendin herself. I dont mind if u wanna mock someone in a group, but if u want to fire someone seriously over work/proffesionalism, u can bloody do it in private. Not infront of everyone, and def not in front of friends. Anyways, the outcome s are - abhi quit her post, there s some friction in C2A, C2B still ok, scats is still scats, ...

Yea. Lets see... Surgery is being a pain. Not was. Another week to go. Got sent out from the ward on Wednesday for not knowin the "Symptomology Table" for acute abdomen. My fault. Beginnin to realize why Prof is jackin us left right and centre. WE DONT KNOW ENOUGH BASICS...

Thursday, since we didnt have to go to the wards, there was a small group teachin *36 students... small my ass* which Prof took. Improved his opionion of me by answering some question and even got a pat on the back. It s quite ... i donno how to say la... but one day gettin sent out, and the another gettin praised. Also saw part of his famed temper - "You bloody stupid girl, u dont deserve to be in this class. You're just not studyin. You want a bloody degree but u dont want to bloody study. Stupid bloody fool... *or somethin to that effect* bugger.... Cant wait for my major postings...

Friday flew by, and i missed this mornings medicine class. 1st lecture i missed this entire semester. My fault. Set the alarm for 840 instead of 740... bugger. Got a hair cut. Goin to library. Study lazy ass... study... bugger.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Your IQ Is 120

Your Logical Intelligence is Above Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Exceptional Your Mathematical Intelligence is Genius Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

Your Star Wars Pickup Line

"I've discovered a whole new way to create a clone! Let's go back to my place and I'll show you."

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

Thursday, June 9, 2005
surgery is fuckin drainin the life outta me... will update on saturday.

Tuesday, June 7, 2005
I wanna live life, never be cruel, I wanna live life, be good to you.

We never change, do we? We never learned to leave, So I wanna live in a wooden house, I wanna live life, always be true, I wanna live life, and be good to you, I wanna fly, and never come down, And I live my life, and have friends around.

We never change do we? No, no, We never learned to bleed, So I wanna live in a wooden house, Making more friends would be easy.

O I don't have a show to say, Yes, and I sing of a single day, We never change do we? We never learned to leave.

So, I wanna live life in a wooden house, Making more friends would be easy, I wanna live where the sun comes out.

Got chased out from class for drawin the exact diagramme i got from my anatomy book... Fuck this shit... fuck this shit...

Monday, June 6, 2005
Yea... Surgery isnt as hyped up as it is. Quite a dead, dry subject. Lots os standin involved as well... bugger. Anyways, there s this H.O.D, not prof MVK, who was firin his Medical Officer (M.o). Not just firing, but basically fuckin his ass with his bright green litmenns stet.. mother... and then what does he do? On the pretext of tryin to look at a housemans (female's) name tag, he goes close to her chest... I m tellin u, if this is workin environment...

Anyways... managed to piss Abhi off. How? Intially, Jeff made this hand muppet, which i swear to God, FUCKIN irritates the fuckin shit outta me. I just cant stand seein that bloody thing. It pisses me off more that 22 year old adults muck around that thing... Anyways, the first one he made was for kiren, and when she used it on me, i grabbed it and err... squashed it. The same thing happend to Abhi. She looked hurt. I didnt bother much bout it, till after class when she didnt wanna talk to me... ai... Came on msn, apologized to her, she ask me to make one new on for her. U dont have to guess my response. Here is to Horny HOD's and paper muppets. Cheerios... snore...

Sunday, June 5, 2005
Yea. I know ur readin this. U know who you are too. U think i wouldnt know ? =P

Surgery starts tomorro. Gonna clean shave my whole body. Donno which part of my knee hammer is gonna go up my ass... and why, pray i ask, do high school juveniles ask me if i've got a gf... Wei.. ur in high school. I m not. Ask me bout add maths... I need a gf... fast... but then again... i dont need one. I think i ll go read my surgery. Have a field day figurin this one out...