Monday, June 19, 2006
You try to be careful. U take all precautions. Then in one moment of insanity, u risk it all. Its fucked up. I m sorry. Lesson learnt. This is why i have principles, this is why i have rules. Cause right now, i m between a rock, and a hard place. God, please guide me....
Sunday, June 18, 2006
This was supposed to be last nights post, but anyways. Yea. Was out with Sand at dinner,and somehow or rather the topic of old fashioned people came up. I ve always thought as my self as old fashioned. Meybe not to the exact detail, but i m pretty much old fashioned i figure. Correct me if u think otherwise. Why? I also donno la, but i think i am. Accordin to Sand, i m somewhere in the middle. So... that made me think. If old fashion is 1940's and the modern dude is 2010, that would mean, i m... 1975? Ha...
I ve "advertised" before, so here i go again. Wanted: Someone a year or two younger than me. Bout my height or shorter. Smaller built than me. Fitted with a pair of eyes which stops hearts, and a smile which restarts the cardiac cycle. An intelligence higher than mine, a heart bigger than mine, a laughter as loud as mine. Glasses/Spectacles are an advantage. The less make up she wears the better. Must look good in a Liverpool Shirt. Must not listen to Paris Hilton. Prefferably be able to wear a saree or kebaya, not at the same time though. Religion, anything goes as long as neither has to convert. Same applies for race. Must allow ears to be gnawed on.
Actually most of the points are irrelevent, but yea... u know this girl? U know how to contact me. Cheers.
Friday, June 16, 2006
You know, i ve never been a good athelete. Blame it on laziness, or whatever, i know. I try tho. I liked playin football in the basketball court in front of Sharada, back when i was in manipal. I remember, while playin, it was a rule. Actually it was my rule, if Rajesh R. got the ball, stay clear. Why? cause if he hits the ball, and the ball hits u, well.... its not a pretty sight. Played in the rain even... and mind you, playin in the rain in manipal is like playin at cold temperatures... I ve never played football on the big field, well i have, but i never enjoyed it. Never could run... bah...
But all that said, i still love the game. I love watchin it. Its just fantastic, watchin Ronaldinho, Rooney, both the Ronaldos... Zlatan... very much like watchin water flow in a stream. As a kid, i used to follow Man Utd. I have no qualms admitting to that. After all, it was Cantona i was more of a fan of. He was a player who "turned losses into draws, and draws into wins". Massive player. So when he left, i still followed Man U a bit, and even supported them thru the CL win in 99.
Then, in 2000. My brother went off to Bangsar, and i found Liverpool. There was a difference. Liverpool were the underdogs. It happend quite oddly even as well. I was in the shop, and i saw the White Away kit, which some say is still the best Liverpool away shirt, and i just bought it. Ever since then, Liverpool have been a part of my life. I found and read up bout the glory years, the meaning behind You'll Never Walk Alone, the meaning of Spion Kop, Shankly Gates... the works basically. The culture, the history. Since then i've stuck by Liverpool, from the high s of besting or beating Milan, Juventus, etc, to the lows of losing to Man Utd, Chelsea and all... This season, i ve never missed a match on tv. Be it 8pm or 3 am, League Cup to World Club Championship, i ve watched it all...
Which brings me to this... When u watch a match, so spectacular, u ll remember it. I would assume that watchin the match in the Stadia would be better, but for me the tv would have to do for the moment. Spectacular matches like... Man Utd and Bayern, Liverpool and Alaves, Liverpool and Newcastle (both the 4-3 s), Liverpool and Milan, Liverpool and West Ham... Sorry for the biasness, but yea. But that being said, i think i ve just watched a match, which pretty well ranks up there. Argentina Vs Serbia and Montenegro. What a match. What a match... the passing, the finishing. If u recall from above, i mentioned some very talented individuals, but this team, is one player. It is one collective unit. Cambiasso's goal was very good, but the play of the match was definately Sorin's back heel thingy which was headed by Cambiasso on to Saviola. It was such a joy to watch them. The came on the two players who i ve been raving about for the past year, but no one (no one who didnt play FM) wanted to listen to me. Carlos Teves and Leo Messi.
Was wonderin why Tevez didnt start agaisnt Ivory Coast, but apparently he had a upset tummy. He took his goal well, but his moment was definately the time he held off 4 Serbians, and ran with the ball. Amazing power... and off course. The Messi-ah. The press keep on raving bout Rooney, but everyone knows England are over rated crap. Stevie G doesnt play with his heart for england, as he does for the Pool, but then again, he s been playin in a holding role, rather than his preffered advance role. Lampard seemed to have left his shootin boots at Stamford Bridge, and Owen is plain crap. Ha... and Real wanted 17 million.
Slightly deviated there, but yea. Argentina will win the World Cup. Simple as that. There s been no other team which has impressed as much. Simple. I would also like to add that Liverpool will win the Primiership this year, but that would depend on the right winger, striker, and Stevie G's fitness. Yea...
Right, enough football. Orthopeadics. This is the first part of medicine i actually feel at home with. You see, in medicine (as a whole) theres medicine (the subject), surgery, OBG, Peads, Ortho, ENT Opthal etc.I always thought to do medicine (the subject) as a speciality, u have to be intelligent. For Surgery, u need to be precise. For OBG, u need to be a woman, or be able to look at a lot of vaginas without feelin queasy. Yea, i know what ur thinkin. Stop. Lookin at a vagina in a medical point of view, so to speak, is quite a challange. If its infected, the smell, is intolerable. If its a pregnancy, its not too bad. It helps to have a mental block. Keeps things proffesional. Indeed. Peads, i cant say, cause i ve never had a proper peads postings. That being said, i do think i m comfortable with kids. Babysittin Kuna, Thamby, Arvin, Madhu and Priya, at different times and ages helped in that...
But Ortho. Ortho is pure testosterone. When u enter the wards, u get this aura of superiority. People always say that Ortho Surgeons think tht their God. You take a look at the patients, u see casts, tractions, pins thru bones, wieghts, the works. You get to meet idiots who ride motorbikes without license, idiots who race and are prid of it, idiots who get in to accident, break their bones and are more worried bout their tooth. Ortho. I may find this a bit easier compared to the other groups as Dr Ashutosh had left. I still think it s our loss, but the hospital Staff have been excellent.... Yea. Orthopeadics. Maybe i wont be as optimistic in the end, but so far. Yea.
This is probably the longest post ever, but i ll wind up now. Grey's Anatomy is BULLSHIT. Absolute rubbish. I cant believe i spent 9.1 gigs of space, and almost 1 week plus downloadin it. Why?
1) There is NO WAY that there are that many good lookin doctors in one particular hospital at any given time. NO WAY. I m not talkin bout pretty people, i m talkin bout STUNNING people. WTF....
2) What Izzie did in the end was rubbish. There is no one who would take a man off life support to make his condition be so bad that he moves up the transplant list. Make it more logical la.... WTF...
3) this is the one which really pisses me off... Mc Dreamy, Mc Steamy, and Mc Vet... McMyAss... idiots....
The dutch are playing... Night kids.
Saturday, June 10, 2006
This is a tribute to someone who s i think had an impact on my life. I wont say its a major impact, but an impact nonetheless. I know, some of the people reading this may think this is an attempt at suckin up or kissing ass, *refer "kuhan crap" below, but seriously, this is what i think.
First heard bout this man, when i was in manipal. After Prof MVK, he had a reputation of being one of the meaner lecturers in our college. When i was in manipal, i thought i was one hell of a fella la... i could handle any lecturer. Even up to the time, just before surgery, i thought Prof would be easy to handle. On both counts i was wrong.
So, then i came back here, indra told me bout him. I was like ok. I decided to be neutral. I mean, me and lecturers are best neutral. I never saw any lecturer's as friends, and i think its that mentallity which keeps me on my toes.
Over the time, there are a few lecturers i feel who are more approachable than others. Generally, u dont see it in classes, or in clincis, but when you see them and speak to them outside of class.
When Sam and Vijay (bless their souls) were in the accident on Sept 4th, there was the dinner for the MMA something. I speak on this, cause i was there. There were a few people in the A&E. No doubt, he was drinkin at the MMA thing, but yet when he came there, it was proffesionalism at it s best. What happened inside the ER, i dont know, but accordin to Reuben, he orchastrated the whole thing. Things ran smoother.
When Sam got transferred to Pantai, I had to send him and 2 other lecturers back to Campus. All the wat back, he had one hand on the hand break, and he never stopped lecturin bout speeding and all. I mean, yea, it would be irritating to have someone tell u bout speedin, but when u think about it, why do people advice you? Wouldnt it be easier for them to mind their own business and just keep quiet? When you really think about it, then you start seeing that these people actually do give a damn about u. They want the best for ya, and are tryin to lead u the right way...
Then graduation for Indra came along, and well, she took him and me out for lunch and then next day, he kept on tellin me bout the sacrifices that parents make for children. The fact that i remember it shows what he said left something. This was one conversation i remember...
Me : Ka, i forgot that aunties name la. Damn bad with names.
He : *from the front seat* Really? So what is ur name? *in his thick indian slang*
Me: Me sir? My name is Kuhan.
He : Lucky u remember ur own name...
Then when Sam died, yet again he was there. U know its always difficult to speak bout those times, but as shakee said, it s like it happened yesterday. Though he didnt have much to do, he took me aside and spoke to me, making sure i was alright and all. Its these qualities u dont see in a hall of 120 students, or in a bedside clinic of 24 students. Indra always said, there s 2 side s of him. The one which makes everyone scared when he comes for posting, and the one who s really a nice guy outside of the class.
People always say, its a lucky day when Prof or him dont take class, but i disagree. If he is anything like Prof, i wont know, cause he s leaving on tuesday for home, and he was scheduled to take posting for my group on thursday. So, i guess i ll never really know.
So, Dr Ashutosh, i thank you. Thank you for being there on the 4th, and 15th Sept. Thank you for being a teacher and thank you for being someone to be able to look up to. I cant help but feelin cheated, esp with postings due to start for ortho so soon, and yet he s leaving. All the best, to the Bear. Hope we find our souls.
Wednesday, June 7, 2006
Dont know where to begin. Oh well. Tuesday mornin, just as i was gonna iron my shirt, i noticed an ant on my spectacles. I gently, and mind u, i was really gentle, tapped the glasses on the ironin table, which was padded mind you, and lo. The leg gives way. On the day of my end posting. What a way to start...
I loved my spectacles. Been using it for at least 5 years, cause i havnt changed it since enterin med school. Its a thin black rimmed glaases, and yea... it looks like a pair of glasses dammit. Its survived footballs, being sat on, manipal rain and mud.... Its served me well. Everytime i tell my mum that i need to change it, i never do. Cause i m so comfortable with it... but yea...
End Postings for Obs went well. Straight forward case of placenta privia, where the placenta (the thing which nutures the fetus) is lying in the lower part of the uterus, when normally it s higher. So, i was pretty comfortable cause... well i knew my stuff. So, Dr K took my end posting. Started with PP, then went to Abruptio Placenta, which was closely related, management of labour... then suddenly, Endometriosis. I swear, i heard a "teeengggg..." Whats this sound? If anyone of u plays Warcraft 3, thats the sound just as the Blood Mage casts a Flame Strike, a really powerful spell which is a tower of flames. The sound is heard for bout 3 seconds as the spell is casted. And i went blank. Just like that. I had no clue. I mean i knew bout Endometriosis, but i didnt see the connection... and that threw me off... bugger.
Was supposed to see Dr K at the end of the day to collect my case sheets, but i had to go make glasses. At the optical store...
Me : *to twenty somethin chinese lady* Hei, uhm... i have a prescription, and i need a new pair of glasses. Something a bit less than rm 200.
Sales Lady : Grasses ah? Wait ah....
She then proceeds to put a pair of bright red thick rimmed glasses, which in truth is really fashionable.... if ur a rock star.
Me : *Giving her the look* Huh? Uhm... take a look at my skin. I m dark. I need some dark colored glasses...
Sales Lady : Oh yea horr...
Me : *thinkin to my self* oh yea horr my ass...
She then gives me somethin similiar to my old glasses, which is cool, and half frammed. We then argue over the price, which is typical kottai of me.
Sales Lady : *while typing on the calculator* U want multi coated lens, i geive you... rm 240. Best Price. U want plastic lens, i can geive you... rm 180. How ah?
Me : *grabs the calculator, and i swear to u, this is what i did, ala Russel Peter's dad* Thia is what we ll do. Rm 180 + rm 240 = 420. We divide it by 2 = 210 Rm. So, i ll pay you, rm 210 for the glasses.
Her turn to give me the look, and she settles for 220rm, which is fine by me, as it s 20 bucks over budget. I make a good bargainer i feel. heh...
Fast forward this afternoon. As a few of us, who were supposed to be in the ward taking case for write ups, which has already been done, decided to give blood. As in donate blood. Since i ve done it before, i figure, what the heck. Few of the requirements are, you have to be healthy, as in no infectiosn, u cannot be homosexual, u cant have a hemoglobin level below 10, *mines a whopping 18.1, where normal males are between 14-16. while females are less*, and u need to be at least 45 kgs. So, as i passed up my form, the sister on duty asks me to step on weighin scale. For the 2nd time in as many days, The look is given and i ask her...
Me : Kak... saya ni, nampak macam kurang 45 kgs ke? *Kak, do i look like i m below 45 kgs?*
To which she giggles and asks me my weight. Donating blood is quite painless, infact there is no pain, as a local anesthetic, lignocaine, is given. But eventually it hurt s like mad, esp if ur an indian male. Why? Cause when the pull out the plaster, and half ur hair follicles are pulled... Damn... Also, this time there was a lot of souvieners. A mug, a nice flower vase / candle hybrid, and a food coupon. A food coupoun. And before u start accusin me, i had no idea there was a coupoun. It was for rm 5 in the cafeteria. So, my rational thinking - its been paid for. If i dont use it, the cafeteria makes the money. My concious was a bit guilty, but as i said, i m always rational. So in the end of the day, my 450 cc or 1 pint of blood was worth, 2 cans of coke, and one Season's Ice Lemon Tea. I hope my blood saves someone s life. I hope your s does too.
Monday, June 5, 2006
My positives - I listen. I'm there when needed. I'm a realist, and always think rationally. If there's work, which is assigned to me, i do it. I'm patient and tolerant. I like things complicated, if its straight-forwards, i get bored. i like to smile, esp when things are not goin my way. I m supportive. I know where i stand, and i know how to keep my ego in check. I've learnt to pick battles to lose.... and win. If i dont like someone, the person will know i dont like him/her. I'm independent. I empathize well. I'm sharp, always puttin 2 and 2 together.
My negatives - I'm letting this foul mood take over me often. I dont know where i spend. I'm never there when wanted. I like things complicated, if its straight-forwards, i get bored. If i dont like someone, i dont make an effort to help them. I get worked up when other people are sad, esp people whom are not supposed to feel sad. I like messing around with people's minds, often misleading them, but in a fun way. I'm sharp -always putting two and two together.
Some are repeated cause its both a pro and con. Feel free to add anything. Yea.
Friday, June 2, 2006
A patient of mine, pregnant was advised Antenatal Care Ultrssonography, but didnt do it. So she carried till term. She delivered a baby without a properly formed head. I m not sayin if she got the scan, the child would be ok. I m tryin to say, if she got the scan, she and the husband wont be put thru unnessecary trauma... Google it up. Anencephaly. I think thats the correct spelling.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Yea. Just wanted to point out something. Was goin thru the site's tracker when i got a link from MMMC, which was "file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/user/My%20Documents/kuhan%20crap.htm" Kuhan Crap. To the owner of this link, i apologize. I m sorry that i ve been giving u crap. Obviously, my thoughts are crap. Fair enough. I am a nobody, and a low life. So, thank you for visiting my site. I m honored by ur presence. Kuhan's Crap... ha...
Monday, May 29, 2006
It was so hot on the bus back from Muar, that i passed out. I woke up, i was dehydrated, and my skin was warm and stretched. Dammit...
Last night as i laid down tryin to sleep, i felt somethin familiar, yet its been a while since i felt it. U know what it is. That happy feeling. That feeling which is there when u know ur gonna get something nice, the same feeling when u know. Dammit, i m struggling for words here, but you know what i mean... I m gonna have to work for it, and work hard for it. Most likely more than i ve ever done before, but i know what i want, and i m gonna go for it. Whether i get it or not, doesnt matter. I'd enjoy the ride, savour the experience, and if it works out, perfect. If it doesnt, i'll try again.... Maybe it was meant to be all along... Ha... aight. Off to the g-y-m...
Sunday, May 28, 2006
i was out running, and i met mr periasamy. he s at least 80 years old and he only wants someone to listen to him. He tells stories bout the japanese occupation, where he buried bodies, a HA named Ganeson from the old klang GH, and then it made me think.... my life is not all that bad. He s got a grandson, who s charged with attempeted grivious injury, his in laws lost a lot of land to the governemnt due to laws, he s got gastric ulcers... and that made me think.. my life is not too bad...
Sunday, May 28, 2006
When you were young
and your heart was an open book
You used to say live and let live
you know you did
you know you did
you know you did
But if this ever changin
in which we live in
Makes you give in and cry
Say live and let die
Live and let die
What does it matter to ya
When ya got a job to do
Ya got to do it well
You got to give the other fella hell
You used to say live and let live
you know you did
you know you did
you know you did
But if this ever changin
in which we live in
Makes you give in and cry
Say live and let die
Live and let die
Paul McCartney.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Just got back from X 3. Good story, but it was wasted on stingyness. Esp in the final scenes and the intial deaths of people... bah.. and how did Juggernaught become a mutant? The timeline of the story was confusing enough, with Peter Rasuputin and Angel being so young, suddenly they got Juggernaught ( Vinnie Jones is the man), with out his armour... dammit. This is as pissing off as Doom not practicing withcraft, and Bruce Banner being injected with some serum. Stick to the books people stick to it... Did anyone notice Stan Lee? he was waterin the plants in the 1st few scenes where Xavier and Erik go and visit Jean... yea...
My moods will be the end of me.... dammit.
Friday, May 26, 2006
Yea. You try your best to do something. You know its wrong, but u feel its for the best, but it doesnt work. So u say fuck it, and then u live with it. Then... it happens by itself. Isnt life peachy..? Hopefully it doesnt become a case of careful what u wish for, cause it may come true.
Unrelated event number two. I find it truly appaling that one person, known or unknown, can smile and be so friendly one minute, and the next moment, just turn around and bitch crap bout the person, that the person was being friendly too. It just amazing. Like the F1 visors, when theres a bug on it, just peel it off and lo. A nice new shiny visor. This goes out to a few people in particular, and if u do stumble across my blog, hope u feel a bit sick in the stomach when u read this... cause it s u i m talkin about. If u dont do it, well and fine...
3rd unrelated event, i ve come to terms with myself. While there has been something goin on, the defination of somethin has left me a bit bemused. Those whom i ve spoken to, tell me what i already know, and also what i need to hear, so its pretty much obvious what i need to do. Pretty much indeed....
4th unrelated event, people who dont appreciate other s who love them should just be shot. Those who cheat on others, shot in the arm, and left to bleed. Those who already have a serious relationship and cheat, shot in the stomach, and left to suffer and die, ala Silas and the Curator in Da Vinci code...
Dont ask me any thing bout this post. Dont.
Sunday, May 21, 2006
As Andy Gray would have said, "what a hit son... what a hit", or in my case... "what a week son, what a week..." Started obstretics posting in Muar Specialist Hospital. The postings are really worth the trip. The doctors, ranging from the HOD, right down to the housemen, one of which i think i met in penang with Nandinika, are just brilliant. Brilliant as in wonderful la... helping and teaching. Nurses too, esp the labour theater ones... Hopefully the other postings will be as good.
So only one delivary though, which was a poor return from a week in the LT. Was fun though. The new born looked a bit like KC (manipal)expt for the hair. Bah... i always have a soft spot for these kids. Do you know what its like to have a few minutes old baby smiling at you? Just... wow man...
The week progressed well, and pretty uneventful till yesterday. Abhi's pool side dinner was last night, and well, there was a lot of driving involved. From looking for the wire, to seeing the most number of sikh people in a day, then my entire life (there was a celebration of a Sikh Saint in Melaka), it was a wild chase.
Picked up the speakers, Loges and Syed and went on our way. At the traffic light, which was yellow and me goin at 60, there was no way i could stop. So, beat the light la... then... ada la... one copper coming from behind. *Beep Beep* his horn went. Pulled me over.
Copper : Keluar lesen. Kuhan : *gets outta the car and follows him* Encik.. maaf la... ni kali pertama... maaf la encik...
He then proceeds to give me a lecture on how i was wrong, not following law, something bout how police cant punish the older only, and something bout my parents worried bout me being in the hospital. I wanted to tell him that i am in the hospital almost everyday... but didnt la... So then he tells me
Copper : Macam mana sekarang? Kompound 300rm. Saya ini open minded la... Kuhan : *puzzled* Encik, ini 1st time saya kena encik... saya tak tahu... Copper: Selit belakang ic la...
At that point, i couldnt think straight la... so i took out ten bucks and it disappeared. Indeed. Wanted to take out the rm 3 and one dollar bills, but thought against it... bah...
Made our way to abhi s thingy. Deepa said "at the traffic light to sampan, u dont turn right to sampan, instead turn left." So i turned left, and instead of ending up in Klebang, i ended up in Gajah Berang... After much confusion, we found the place and well, the party was quite well. Alot of laughin and alcohol, and welli realized a few things. It s quite uncomfortable being on of the few sober ones in a group of people drinking... well... drunk. Based on my experiences in manipal, drinking gives u the right to do whatever you want, and then apologize the next morning, siting it was Mr Jack and Ms Smirnoff speaking.
There was one particular incident which annoyed me, it shouldnt, but it did. I told you, since day one, i can put 2 and 2 together. I knew what was happenin, and while there was a chance i could be wrong, i doubt it. Anyways, that doesnt matter now. What matter s is, that i realzed, i give a fuck. The "i dont give a fuck attitude" no longer applies. I mean, we are adults. No more form 2 kids going round speculating who he likes and not. Think about it. People are gonna get angry. People are not gonna like it.
That aside, the girls did a wonderful job with the food and the atmosphere. The pool games were a hoot and well, a lot happend, which i m not allowed to say about. Lol.
Till next week. bah... adults...
Sunday, May 14, 2006
After the recent events, i needed some distraction. Initially it was supposed to be Abhi's birthday, but that got postponed due to Saturday(today) being a campus holiday in view of the long weekend. So... Cup Final. Liverpool vs West Ham. What a match...
Match started off with an own goal. I m in view that most own goals are luck. I mean, everyone says that the person who scores the own goal is unlucky, so well, the team who got the own goal (for the 7th time this season) had to be lucky. The 2nd goal, that was a credit to West Ham. Liverpool were crap at defence, and the pitch ddint help either. The 3rd Hammers goal... the biggest fluke ever... it was a mishit/cross which reina just missed. That being said, Reina was also at fault.
Liverpool's goals... describing it wont do it any justice. Just watch Stevie G's finishing...
So, another english season ends. 39 points gap cut to some 9points. Most clean sheets. Best damn player in England. Best Manager too... in Rafa.
No other manager in the world is
loved as much by the fans. Not Alex Fergie, not
Wenger. Have u heard Chelsea fans singin songs
in praise of Maurinho? HAVE U EVEN HEARD
CHELSEA FANS SINGING? ARE THERE EVEN
CHELSEA FANS???? i m quite serious...
So, i could go on and talk bout other clubs... but i think i ll learn from Rafa. "i only want to talk about my team."
here s to next season... oh wait, the world cup's coming up.
What a game... what a match... You'll never walk alone.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Woke up this morning, with that fucked up feeling in the corner of my heart. You know, that fucked up feeling. Not the feeling of impending doom, but just that fucked up feeling. Come to think of it, it was how i ended my night last night. Nevermind. So, went over to reuben's and loges' to go makan. Wan Tan mee and chilli chicken taste well together. Watched the unit then... Its ok. Worth a dvd i guess. Was watchin scary movie 4, when reuben, who was with Shakee, in campus, called to come over.
Against my wishes, we went. I wanted to finish SM4, but nevermind. In the academic office area, there were bout 30 odd students, some waiting for results, some waitin to go home for the long weekend. I mean, i knew the results were coming out. I also knew that there was a chance i was gonna fail. So, i was thinking. I would have to go to temple either ways. If i pass, i'd offer a prayer of thanks. If i fail, i'd offer a prayer of asking for forgiveness. Why? not because i failed. It would have been a prayer askin for forgiveness for going against a vow i'd taken of not drinking alcochol. I seriously considered drownin in that bottle of Chivas. I cant take this anymore...
The results did come out later. I passed the paper. I passed my opthal university final paper and yet there was no particular reason for me to be happy. I am pretty sure that only in Melaka Manipal Medical College this happens. A student passes a 3rd year paper, and he is unhappy. Why? now i have to worry about making up a months attendance, over 1 1/2 years. I have to worry about my electives, which the other students cover during the time i attempt to make up attendance. I also have to worry bout passing end postings. The only consolation is that i have about 45 people with me in this boat. The Dean wants to meet us on Monday, and i pray for news which will lift my spirits... cause at the rate it is goin with me... that chivas bottle will be opening sooner than it should... and for the wrong reasons.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
I don't mind spending everyday,
Out on your corner in the pouring rain,
Look for the girl with the broken smile,
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile.
Tuesday, May 9, 2006
so i was goin to the tailor. Near the pasar malam, suddenly my radio goes off, my fuel metre hits full from 3/4, fuel warning goes off, and suddenly puffs of smoke comes outta my dashboard. I was like whoa... and then i find out, my alternator, whatever the fuck that is, has given way, and taken my battery along with it... yes. i m gonna shoot myself now. babai.
Thursday, May 4, 2006
Yea. So, Yea. In manipal during my first year study break, i borrowed a book, i m not sure from whom, either Sam or Mamak. So, i read the book. This book was called It, and was written by Stephan King. I watched the movie as a kid, and well, its one of those movies i ve watched as a kid, and never will forget, along with Hook - first english movie in cinema, Annamalai - first tamil movie etc.
So, naturally i wanted to watch the movie again. And this was 3 years ago... I went to dollops, dont have. Lake View, dont have... Dome, dont have... so, fuck it la i said, can come back and find.
Came back to malaysia, i went to a few shops and still cannot find. So, that time, i discovered Limewire. So, i searched for it, literally, and found it... but it didnt wanna download. Gave up again.... Set up bitcomet for torrent files.... could find again.. it fully downloaded somemore... but refused to play. So again give up.
Yesterday, me, abhi, reuben and shakee went for MI3. The movie was ok la.. John Woo shoulda done it. It lacked the illogical action which made MI2 a superb hit. And yet, once again, the Tamil Movie vs The "Ingelishkaaren". This will be the final argument, after this i wont say anything. Ethan Hunt is a "speacially trained, highly disciplined field agent", while Saravanan "Rajnikanth's role in Chandramukhi" is a freggin doctor. So, when it comes to kickin ass, and jumpin off buildings and dodgin freggin bullets, its BLOODY OBVIOUS THAT ETHAN HUNT CAN DO IT. U dont expect ehtan hunt to diagnose paranoid schizophrenia, the same way u dont expect Saravana to fly a good ten metres to slap a cup of coffee... dammit...
In a non related matter, i ve gotten over her. Who, dont ask. Funny how i feel. I was just thinking... and yea... i dont think of her as much. I m not affected by what she says, the works la. I guess i just realized i was goin after a lost cause. Somethings aint just meant to be... i hope... Good night.
Oh yea... the Stephan King IT movie dvd... Sanjna had it all along... ha. Tragic Comedy.
Wednesday, May 3, 2006
Last night was quite intresting. Met an old friend i havnt met in a long time. I miss this guy. He's always relevent, never take s the mickey out of anyone, and always says the right thing at the right time. His flaws? He is rarely considerate. His rationality is everything, and he cannot accept things which does not seem right to him. Argumentative u may say... Who is thie guy? Me.
Wednesday, May 3, 2006
Yea. Paper was ok i'd say. Not too bad, not too good cause some questions was a bit off, so yea... see la how. So fuckin tired, havnt slept well in a while, with the exams, worked out in the gym doin the arms, till it felt like fallin off, cause i had this bundle of nervous energy. Bah...
Anyways, been thinkin bout the things i ve said, should have said, and shouldnt have said. Yea, i guess it was stupid of me to giv the wrong impression, but it was with the flow la. It s like entrapment when the hunter gets cornered by the game, but the game doesnt know it was the prey. Yes i talk in riddles, but u get my picture. Oh God, i m so sleepy....
There s no one on Msn to bug either. Night... kuhan - u stupid stupid boy... Stupid. Dammit.
25/04/2006 22:38:36 ~Princess Aiko~ sends Strawberry Shortcake - Cuppy Cake Song.mp3
25/04/2006 22:38:50 Pedro Scofield ~Princess Aiko~ u are kiddin me
25/04/2006 22:39:05 ~Princess Aiko~ Pedro Scofield listen to it!
25/04/2006 22:39:05 ~Princess Aiko~ Pedro Scofield its cute giler!
25/04/2006 22:39:32 Pedro Scofield ~Princess Aiko~ will do
25/04/2006 22:39:38 Pedro Scofield ~Princess Aiko~ once i get it
25/04/2006 22:40:17 You have successfully received C:Documents and SettingsuserMy DocumentsMy Received FilesStrawberry Shortcake - Cuppy Cake Song.mp3 from ~Princess Aiko~.
25/04/2006 22:41:03 Pedro Scofield ~Princess Aiko~ WHAT THE FUCK????
25/04/2006 22:41:08 Pedro Scofield ~Princess Aiko~ SERIOUSLY
25/04/2006 22:41:11 Pedro Scofield ~Princess Aiko~ WAT THE FUCK?
25/04/2006 22:41:17 ~Princess Aiko~ Pedro Scofield stop cursingg!!!!!!
25/04/2006 22:41:37 ~Princess Aiko~ Pedro Scofield its cute!!!
25/04/2006 22:41:37 ~Princess Aiko~ Pedro Scofield ok!!!
25/04/2006 22:42:02 Pedro Scofield ~Princess Aiko~ ITS A FUCKIN WASTE OF SPACE
25/04/2006 22:42:06 Pedro Scofield ~Princess Aiko~ JESUS CHRIST!!!
25/04/2006 22:42:14 Sending of "Pink Floyd - Wish You Were Here.mp3" to ~Princess Aiko~ has failed.
25/04/2006 22:42:26 Pedro Scofield ~Princess Aiko~ ....
I rest my case.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Yea, this is about as honest as i can be on this page. Anyways, 1st of all, i know u read this. U may pretend u dont, but i know u do. but thats not the point. You tell me what i want to know, i ll tell u what u need to know.
All along, i ve had this idea in my head, an image if u may, bout people i dont like. People i dont look up to. People i dont want to be associated with. For example. I dont like happenin people. U want to call it jealousy, fine watever. I dont like people who listen to Shaun Paul or Beyonce or u know, cause well, they're music are just for the moment. Right at this point, my brother would say, i abandoned Metallica for Paul Van Dyk and if he did, i still have the entire collection of Metallica songs up to St Anger on MP3. Still, these people annoy me. Is it the short attention span? Or are they living the Beverly Hills 90210/The OC/ One Tree Hill life? DO i want the attention?
Unfortunately, yes but not in the way many would perceive it to be. I mean, who wants their life to be complicated and seemed so messed up, its actually tragic comedy. Is it really fun being the puppeteer? I dont know, cause i ve never been one. I ve never gone behind a person to get what i want intentionally, and i dont intend to. At this point, i also would like to clear that no one has gone behind my back either. Not at the moment at least.
So where does this leave me? I m like this spider, caught in the web, weaving another web. I got my self in this trouble, which is not trouble when i think bout it, but it s the perfect word for it. Whats it is another matter. There s just so many loose ends. I cant tie it up, cause tie it up would just stir up a few hornets nets.
Funny... but as i said before... "oh oo..." lets see what happens...
If u dont understand what i wrote, dont fret. Ive insisted from day one, these are my own ways of rememberin stuff.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Yea... whoa... hahaha... ok, somethings have been goin on, but i cant elaborate much on it, cause for once i ve been kept outta the loop, but then again, i m kuhan. i am the loop.
enough of that, old man s been gone 4 years now, accdrin to the hindu calander at least. Miss him, want him to be around and all that, but yea, shit happens. Yea... dammit...
Friday, April 21, 2006
ha... looks like the feelin i had was the feelin of impendin doom, as liana was admitted in pantai for acute abdomen. Not sure whats the cause tho, but it cant be serious.
Being in Pantai yesterday was a bit messed up. The last time i was there was when Sam died, and it brought up some old memories. Esp when some high people asked us to look after the family, Sam Sr wanting to punch me =), etc. Bugger...
Thursday, April 20, 2006
U know, there are times u just cant express what u feel like saying. I mean, i m not happy, i m not satisfied, but its just that feeling la... which i cnt express. Hollow? Messed up? Fcked up?
I pin point it to how or what someone thinks of me, so is it fear i feel? No... cant be fear, cause fear is when u know MV is comin for class and u didnt get a proper history. Fear is when u enter a dark house, and a cat runs past you.
So why am i feelin this? Doesnt help that i hav opthal next week, and this crap is annoying enough. Distraction? Unlikely. Cause yea... argh. Whatever.
Prison Break. Its awesome. It s fantastic. Why? cause i relate to it. How? Cause in the series everythin and anythin which CAN go wrong, DOES go wrong. Everythin and anything. From fucked up people u call friends becoming enemies, people who u thought were gonna get u, hold out a hand, people ur suppose to look up to dont treat u right... and so on and so forth. But all that crap aside, its a really good show. Best series i ve watched since Lost season one... yea. Night kids...
So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade
Your heros for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
Just get the song will ya...
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
all i ever expected was a simple "hi, how s things with u" now i know people for who they are. better now than later i guess...
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
The followin list is a list of things, behaviour, attitude, circumstances etc which pisses me off. The following list is not exhaustive, and may and will change from time to time, dependin on the above mentioned, or other factors.
1) People who call me a liar in serious circumstances. I mean, yea, i do con people a lot, but all that is in jester and not accountable for... lol.
2)People who are not punctual, esp if on a tight schedule. When a time is set, make sure ur there on time, if its important. Ur on time if ur 5 mins early.
3) People who dont have any idea bout how to treat people, esp if ur bloody paid to do it. For example, if ur a high ranking person, and ur given a letter by a person under you, u read it. Not pass a pre-assumed judgemnt, even though ur right.
4) when my car gives me problems.
5) When i m not given credit for somethin i was asked to do.
Yea. Thats bout it for the moment.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Just bout had it up to my neck with the college. The only words that i can think of is probably too vulgar, and i feel not worthy. Fuck it. I m gonna make it. The harder u try to keep me down, the harder i m gonna shove it up ur ass at the end...
Friday, April 14, 2006
So yea. Was due to have end postings this mornin to increase my internal for opthalmology practicals. So, since i studied my ass of last night, *by watchin some comedies then Bad Boys II*, i was pretty confident. Actually i was confident all along, cause well i studied earlier and well, postings really was good. So off i went to the exams.
So then at the quarantine room a.k.a. the laser room, in comes the Opthal H.oD who tells me i dont hav to sit for the end posting cause well, apparently if u passed the college practs, u dont hav to. U only sit for the component u failed in, and in my case, theory. Ai. Thats good news i guess, but i donno what s gonna happen next. Lets wait and see...
i wanted to type somethin else here but i forgot. Dammit.
Monday, April 10, 2006
What makes me feel good - goin to the gym for more than 1 1/2 hours, workin out till my hands feel like droppin off, comin home, take a nice fullfillin crap on my throne, a hot shower, then followed by banana leaf dinner.
What pisses me off - while my friends are in melb, manipal or just plain fuckin sleepin, i m goin for opthal postings. Son of a fuckin bitch...
Monday, April 10, 2006
U should be old enough to remember these songs from Transformers the movie...
You Got The Touch -
You got the touch
You got the power
After all is said and done
You've never walked, you've never run,
You're a winner
You got the moves, you know the streets
Break the rules, take the heat
You're nobody's fool
You're at your best when when the goin' gets rough
You've been put to the test, but it's never enough
You got the touch
You got the power
When all hell's breakin' loose
You'll be riding the eye of the storm
You got the heart
You got the motion
You know that when things get too tough
You got the touch
You never bend, you never break
You seem to know just what it takes
You're a fighter
It's in the blood, it's in the will
It's in the mighty hands of steel
When you're standin' your ground
And you never get hit when your back's to the wall
Gonna fight to the end and you're takin' it all
You got the touch
You got the power
When all hell's breakin' loose
You'll be riding the eye of the storm
You got the heart
You got the motion
You know that when things get too tough
You got the touch
You're fightin' fire with fire
You know you got the touch
You're at your best when when the road gets rough
You've been put to the test, but it's never enough
You got the touch
You got the power
You got the touch
You got the power
Dare-
Sometimes when your hopes have all been shattered
And there's nowhere to turn
You wonder how you keep going
Think of all the things that really mattered
And the chances you've earned
The fire in your heart is growing
You can fly, if you try leaving the past behind
Heaven only knows what you might find
Dare - dare to believe you can survive
You hold the future in your hand
Dare - dare to keep all of your dreams alive
It's time to take a stand
And you can win, if you dare
Everybody's trying to break your spirit
Keeping you down
Seems like it's been forever
But there's another voice if you'll just hear it
Saying it's the last round
Looks like it's now or never
Out of the darkness you stumble into the light
Fighting for the things you know are right
Dare - dare to believe you can survive
The power is there at your command
Dare - dare to keep all of your dreams alive
It's time to take a stand
And you can win, if you dare
Dare - dare to believe you can survive
You hold the future in your hand
Dare - dare to keep all of your dreams alive
The power is there at your command
Dare - dare to keep all your love alive
Dare to be all you can be
Dare - 'cause there is a place where dreams survive
And it's calling you on to victory
Saturday, April 8, 2006
Havnt been updatin as much as i would to like have but then again there s been many things which have been goin that i dont think i would want to remember anyways. Yea. Results were out on April Fools day. As expected i didnt clear opthal, so fuck that. I ll pass the resit. What wasnt expected was 45/130 people failin, includin Reuben, with 21 internals, logesh and Lalal. I mean these people are distinction candidates. Dont want to seculate either.
I m a realist. I know my standards. I know what i can do, what i can achieve etc. So when i know i m gonna fail a paper,i still study for it and still go for it. I m not a negative person, though my actions may be mistaken for negative behaviour. I dont have the mindset i m gonna fail. I mean, i know there s a high chance i m gonna fail, but i still study for it. If i was negative, i d just sleep and go for the paper. So by sayin this, for the love of God, dont ever tell me to go and study again. U should know who u are, i m not tellin one person. Quite a few actually. Ur not my mother. If my mom told me to go study, as my dad did, i d love it. I miss that but not you. You dont have the right to tell me to study. U may be studyin the same thing, but dont tell me. Clear.
Speakin of my mother, i feel so bloody fucked up when ever i ask her for money. I feel like a fuckin parasite. She gives me enough, yet i hav no fuckin clue where the money goes. I dont smoke, dont drink, watch movies i download, i dont club, i dont have a gf to indulge on... i mean, wtf? where does my money go? And the fucked up part is my mum never says no. She always gives me the money. Dammit. I got to find a way outta this... fuck...
Goin on. I ve told everyone before, if i like someone, that means i m goin up to her and tellin her i like her before i even tell u that i like her. Thats how it works with me. I m not gonna tell u i like her, and then u tellin someone else that i like her, which ends up as a nasty rumour that i love half of melaka manipal medical college. Dammit. Think people think. Maybe i should stop with these mind games.
Thats for now. Heres the same things off the brother's site...
Your Brain's Pattern
Your mind is a firestorm - full of intensity and drama.
Your thoughts may seem scattered to you most of the time...
But they often seem strong and passionate to those around you.
You are a natural influencer. The thoughts you share are very powerful and persuading.
You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.
People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.
You have medium extroversion.
You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party.
Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences.
But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."
Conscientiousness:
You have medium conscientiousness.
You're generally good at balancing work and play.
When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done.
But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.
Agreeableness:
You have high agreeableness.
You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.
Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.
You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.
Neuroticism:
You have medium neuroticism.
You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.
Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.
Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of.
Openness to experience:
Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.
Maybe you're looking for love...
But mostly you're looking for fun.
You could get serious with the right person.
For now, though, you're enjoying playing the field.
