Unclaimed for a reason.
For the life of me I don't know why this site surprises me so much. They sell the most incredible stuff on eBay, including used items that you really, really wouldn't want to buy used, yet a site selling lost stuff really surprised me. I mean, c'mon, you know the owners of this stuff would probably really, really like to get it back. Something tells me they didn't part ways with it at the airport willingly, or happily. The only other thing about this site that caught my eye is that, apparently, Oprah recommends it. The fact that both Oprah and I recommend the same thing is mildly disturbing.
How deep?
Everyone, and I mean everyone, should have this link or one like it bookmarked [or favorited(?)]. Jack Handy is the single greatest SNL invention in recent memory, save for possibly Operaman. Its a shame I don't enjoy SNL as much as I used to. And its also a shame that Mr. Show isn't coming on anymore. Yet, HBO sticks with Real Sex VXCIII: Now We Get To The Animals. Sad. So sad.
Far, far away.
I feel for NASA. I really do. Remember how the Space Race to the moon is romanticized in history? How we are all taught that it was a monumental, inspirational achievement for mankind? Well, it was. Unfortunately, everyone seems to have forgotten, and the space program probably doesn't get the attention it deserves anymore. And so, when the occasional mission goes wrong, and something gets lost, everyone's quick to criticize. But what can you expect? Less money and resources, hardly anyone seems to really care, but everyone still expects them to perform without a hitch. Good ol' Earth probably won't last very long as it is. And, if we get on the ball, I can fufill my dream of being an Intergalactic Space Pirate. Yeah.
Bright, Shiny Image.
As much as you may try to deny it, winning the lottery would likely be a curse. Proof? Sharper Image, aka Cool But Ridiculous Crap. Behold the magic of the 'Q-Ball', which gives 'answers in the palm of your hand'. Wonder at the 'Wee Bot 2000', a 'cute electronic family'. Even better, though, is the 'Ionic Ease Silent Air Purifier', which hangs fashionably around your neck by a rope. You already feel stupid for buying it, might as well look it. Sad thing is, I don't bother wondering who would actually consider buying such things, because, God help me, if I won a cool couple of million I'd be back with credit card in hand. How could I, or anyone for that matter, do without 'Crystal The Electronic Butterfly Sound-Responsive Sculpture'?
'Port me a drink.
They say Crichton's new book has something to do with Quantum technology, and I'm pretty eager to read it. Its a shame I'm such a cheap [or as the more refined put it - 'frugal'] guy when it comes to books. Anyhow, this little article talks about what may or may not be the 'first bonafide teleportation'. You be the judge. I just hope they hurry up and get it done. Teleportation = less gas money spent. More money = more hardcover books.
This one's for Omar. [and maybe Maricris?]
The other day at work I ran across a book that I thought was rather interesting. It was a travel guide, a tourist information book...on strip clubs. It was a state by state, fully rated and opinionated review of strip clubs across the world. Which got me to wonder: a)Isn't that quite an enormous task, considering the fact that strip clubs seem to open up and shut down with the frequency of an automated door in a supermarket, and b)Who in the world would be so dedicated and addicted to strip clubs as to actually travel around the nation rating the clubs, then logging all the info for prosperity?
Then I remembered my cousin Omar and his soon-to-be-addicted-too friend Maricris, and scratched question B.
So here's a little something to help them get started, and any other folks out there who also might have the life goal of becoming strip club connoisseur. Not that there are very many of you. The majority of us guys don't go to those sort of places, or participate in such activity. Right?
Riiiiiiiiiggghhht.
...to the Future!
A cool article about concept PCs, which is what I've been waiting for for a long time. I know Acer released a model a few years ago that had a little flare, but I've sworn off buying store systems, so there isn't much chance that I would have got one. I give Apple credit; the iMac at least isn't so blasted boring. If I have to wait too long, though, I may have to add a few 'modifications' to my next custom built PC...I wonder if black spray paint hurts monitors?
*Note: You would think that Popular Mechanics, which commonly features cutting edge technology and articles that 'glimpse into tomorrow' might have a website that was a little more... well, this decade. Seriously, it looks like one of those homepage templates we all know and love.
What about the Mohawk?
Personal record collections and pictures-of-my-cat aside, I think this is fairly good proof that no topic is safe from being immortalized in a webpage. The scary thing about this one is how specific it is in the subject of its worship. Bobs? Have we fallen so low as to idolize hairstyles, and to plaster a webpage with pic after pic of the object of our desire? After seeing Salma Hayek in pigtails in Dogma...Lord I hope so.
Pika? Pika!!
At long last. Why there aren't a hundred of these sites, I have no idea. But I can only guess that even the most passive parent is probably ready to see as many Pokemon deaths as humanly possible. The funniest part is, you know that the parents out there have absolutely no grasp of the little pocket monster craze, and it's driving them insane. And yes, I realize I may seem anti-Pokemon, but that honestly isn't the case. I'm starting to appreciate the little freaks. Watching desperate 'our kids are being corrupted!' pundits trying to relate Pokemon to witchcraft is just too damn funny.
And the world laughs with you.
Yes, you probably have already been to this site, probably have visited quite a few times before. I, however, have not. And it's funny, which makes two solid reasons to include it. It seems as though I stumble across more humor on the net than anything else. I imagine most people search out headlines, stock quotes and e-commerce, but I still think that if you're looking for a high hit count, there's nothing like good ol' wholesome dark, bitter black comedy.
