///// Thursday, September 12, 2002 ///// 01:11 a.m. /////

Actually I have a confession to make. The bottom post is not 100% true. *sighs* I did feel the significance of this day...it's just that I have been trying to ignore it and shove it to the back of my mind. Oh how sad when bravado fails...

One of the things I did last year when this happened was constantly watch TV and crying my eyes out. A part of me really didn't want to feel that anguish again. It's always easier to seal off emotions, you know? But ugh...seeing some of the new footages was just harsh. I mean, TLC did a special on wives who gave birth after 9/11 and how the babies didn't have any daddies because they were fire fighters. @_@;; Gods, how can it get sadder than that?

So yeah, I watched hours and hours of the 9/11 coverage. *sighs* It was pretty damned sad. Some new information had surfaced that I didn't know. Like the full detail of how the passengers of that fourth plane got together and over-powered the terrorists. "Let's Roll" they said...

I guess a lot of people, including me, have been so tied up with the whole war on terrotism and Iraq that some of the deeper meanings of today slipped through the cracks. I can't remember who said it, but someone mentioned that 9/11 was a day to honour the dead. It definitely was a day for that.

But I think the saddest part for me was the thoughts of all those innocents who never got the tribute and recognition that the people of 9/11 did. Innocent people who have died in the past and their faces remain blank. And even sadder, people who will die in the future in the name of "Justice". Just how many people have to die until this can be over? Why can't someone please stop this cycle of hatred and violence? It's just too sad...

///// Wednesday, September 11, 2002 ///// 07:35 p.m. /////

Well it's been a year. We all know what I am talking about. I went back to my old blog archives and read what I wrote on September 11, 2001. Wow, I remember being so sad...

Most of today was ok. None of the professors said anything about today's significance. It felt like just any other day I go to school. After I came back home, a lot of the tv stations were airing special programs about it. Most of the stuff I saw didn't move me too much...sad to say. I think it's because the media totally overdosed on it. I still cringe a bit when I see those footages of the planes plowing into the towers...but I guess like all grief, it fades. The only moment when I felt a bit teary was when they showed footages of The Rolling Requiem. Basically, cities all over the world had choirs singing Mozart's Requiem. It started in New Zealand and kept rolling on to each new time zone. Kinda cool if you think about it. The music was so haunting and sad and it affected me a bit.

Should I feel a bit guilty for not being so sad? I'm not sure. But it's kinda hard to feel grief when it's easier to feel apprehension...and the Bush administration is making me mighty nervous. I don't know about other people but I really don't want a war...

///// Friday, September 6, 2002 ///// 10:28 a.m. /////

Buwahahaha!!! I am in my school library typing this. ^_^ Yes I am back in school and surprisingly, I am happy about it. o_O;; My brother and I actually got up at a decent hour like civilized human beings, ate breakfast (Dave made omelets!!!), had coffee, and drove to school. This is kinda a big deal to me. It's the first time I have gone to University with my bro since he was in Korea last year. And the fact that we have morning classes everyday is forcing us to go to sleep at decent hours. The breakfast thing is new too since we tend to skip that. But since all of my classes starts at 9 and end at 12 (except Friday when it ends at 2), I decided to eat a cheap breakfast instead and then come home for lunch...instead of eating out on campus which is EXPENSIVE! My bro has a similar time table as me so he decided this is a good idea. So yes, we had omelets, coffee, watched some morning news and he drove me to school. How sweet. *_* No bus rides for me now that I am living with my brother!! Kakakaka!!! No more waiting for buses in snow storms!! XD

And our apartment is pretty much settled now. It's a bit empty in some places since we don't have that much furniture. We are also DEFINITELY lacking in wall decoration. Our living room wall is so white and bare. O_O;; I considered plastering my room with posters and wallscrolls but I held back and just put up two wallscrolls. ^^;; I don't know...covering my wall totally with anime posters doesn't appeal to me much anymore. Maybe I am growing up? *laughs*

I only had one class yesterday which was my Visual Arts studio class. It goes from 9 to 12. x.;; Gah. Three hours in one room. But the class is fairly small since it is a studio course (about 25 people) and the teacher seems nice. His name is Kim Moodie and he does seem a bit...moody. ^^;; He's the type of guy that if you annoy him, he will tell you right to your face. Not a mean guy...just blunt. ^_^;; And I made two new friends!! Actually it's kinda funny how we bonded. After class, I decided to talk to Mr. Moodie because I haven't done any consistent artwork since Grade 9 and I was a bit nervous. @_@;; It turned out that two other people in the class had even less art experience than me and they were there to ask him for help too!! *laughs* We all kinda looked at each other and breathed a sigh of relief. It's nice knowing you are not the only greenhorn in class. ^^;; They seem really nice and we decided to sit together because we newbies gotta support each other!!! ^___^ And one of them has been assigned as my lockermate so that is nice. ^___^ Our actual first class of drawing is on Tuesday. It will be figure drawing with a nude model. I swear, I love this class. First day of real studying and it starts off with a naked person. I think my brother is jealous. *ROFL* The only bad thing about this class is that the art supply is gonna cost me an arm and a leg. >_<;;;

Just had Clssical Studies which I am re-doing this year since I failed it last year. ^^;; They did the same thing last year, which was a mini lecture by a librarian about our 6 school libraries and how to use them correctly. *yawns in boredom* I had that same lecture last year so I doodled through it. But then I got an unpleasant surprise when I found out that they changed the text book!! @_@;; I was thinking I can save money by using last year's books but now I can't!! Even worse, it's a brand spanking new one so none of them are available in the Used Bookstore!! @_@;; Gahh!! it was so expensive for such a little book!! >_<;;

Oops, I have Arts History next. Gotta run!!

///// Sunday, September 1, 2002 ///// 01:54 a.m. /////

Hi everyone. I know I have been pretty bad with my blogging but just thought I would warn you all. I am moving back to London tomorrow (London, Canada!!!) and I will be offline until Sept 5. I might use my friend's computer to check email and stuff but not too sure about it. Wahh...now back to packing!! I hate packing!! @_@;;;;

///// Wednesday, August 28, 2002 ///// 07:03 a.m. /////

My eyes feel cottony. O_O;; I have barely slept all night...maybe about 30 minutes worth. But then I woke up all sweaty. I think I had a dream. Gosh I hope my dream was hot and steamy. Can't remember. Curses.

I will update this blog. No really. I will. And if I keep telling myself that, I will do it. Someday.

*looks at previous entires* You know...most of my posts seem to be in the wee hours...as in between 4 to 7 am. Hmm...this isn't good right?

///// Saturday, August 24, 2002 ///// 02:33 a.m. /////

Ah so tired. But can't sleep because my bro is playing Warcraft on his computer. x.x;; He rigged up our two computers with a router so we can both have internet access. Unfortunately, this means less sleep for me since he can sit and play on that game for HOURS. @_@;;

Hyun Joo is gone now and I miss her a bit. I mean, yeah it's nice to be doing my own shit now but still...it was fun when she was around too. She said she wants to come back to Canada to study so I have a feeling I will see her again.

I went to Indigo today and picked up a book I had in reserve. Been reading a mystery series by Lindsey Davis. This is a big deal for me since I don't like mystery novels. ^^;; But her series is so quirky and funny. Ahh...I love British humour. It's basically about a private informer in ancient Rome. ^_^ Tee hee. Sounds weird but it's really fun to read. Falco is the total antithesis of a typical private eye, which is probably why I like him so much. ^_^ It's too bad he turned down that offer from the gorgeous magistrate. *coughs* Well he was already involved with a woman and he doesn't seem to swing that way anyways...too bad. ^____^

Gah, so much shit to do. ;_; I have so much online stuff I have to catch up on but I have been lazy. ;_; I better get started tomorrow...if I can wake up. ^^;;

///// Tuesday, August 20, 2002 ///// 11:26 p.m. /////

Wahahahaha...I am back home. x.x;; Ok for those who don't know, I was gone to move into my new apartment in London (no not England!! London Canada!!!). My school year is gonna start soon and I got a two bedroom apartment for me and my bro. ^_^ Very tired from all the packing, moving, more moving, and unpacking. x.x;; Gah. So yeah, now we are back in Toronto, since I wanna stay with my family as long as possible before I go. Not to mention the free food. ^^;;

I really like my new place. It's owned by the same company as my last apartment but it's so much better. The actual design is pretty much the same but this time, I got to have the furniture where /I/ wanted it. ^^;; Last time, I moved into the room my bro had used and everything was already pretty much set. Some new stuff (like two book shelves and a CD case) and some stuff stolen from parents. ^_^ Tee hee. Also, now I have a swimming pool, tennis court, and a whole bunch of other shit that the other apartment didn't have...but it's the same price!! ^__^ Pretty good in my book!

And Hyun Joo is gonna leave tomorrow for Korea. She was supposed to go home on the 28th but she is homesick so going earlier. I guess I will have more time for my own stuff then...gotta update site and revamp this blog. x.x;; Gah, social blogging some other time. Bye!!

///// Sunday, August 11, 2002 ///// 05:59 a.m. /////

All righty, I couldn't sleep and I felt like drawing. ^^;; Been reading a story called Lazarus Child. Lilack highly recommended it and she and I tend to like the same stuff. Not to mention I've read Whitecat's fanfics since her Gundam Wing days (can we say "Death Arc" boys and girls?). So I gave it a go and wow, I like it quite a bit. Enough that I actually drew fanart. O_O;; I think I like Ray the best...he's just so...sparkly. ^_____^ *evil cackle* Here's my version of Ray. He looks so respectable doesn't he? But we all know he isn't. *laughs* This is how I see Bast in her human form. I do like the fact that she prefers her cat form but I think she would be really beautiful as a human. Big seductive eyes and long sleek hair. Hmm...getting hentai ideas about Bast seducing Ray. @_@;; *CHOKES* And here is Seth in his evil "I am chaos" mode. I drew him a bit older than he should be. >_<;; But I still like this version of him. ^_^ Well, all these sketches look better in real life. I tried to scan them nicely but the pencil lines were too faint and I had to tinker with them...which kinda ruined them a bit. Especially Seth's chaos markings. ^^;; Oh well...I still like them. ^_^ Now if only I could draw Osiris. x.x;; He is so hard to draw!!!

And yeah...I doodled more. Not fanart though. I also only scanned three of them although I drew more. And I didn't even bother trying to tinker with these scans so kinda dark looking. A freaky ass looking little girl. O_O;; She looks like a corpse. I scribbled a poem on the side but it's really cheesy. Sad looking boy, one with his eyes open and the other one closed. Why am I drawing depressed looking children? @_@;; I had a cuter SD version of him on the bottom but I cropped it out. And my favourite among my non-fanart doodles tonight, a girl with a halo that has a "SALE" sticker on it. ^^;; Don't ask me why I drew this...it just turned out this way. And for some reason, I really like it. It's not even that well drawn. I think I like it more for the symbolism. ^^;; Hmm...all of these pics have sad people in it. o_O;; Am I feeling sad? I don't know. x.x;;; I feel fine...just a bit tired but fine. Weird. @_@;; *looks at sketchbook again* Gosh I suck at drawing. Maybe if I hadn't stopped doing art like 6 years ago, I would be good. Too late to regret now. >_<;;

Ok me sleep. Gotta wake up in 4 hours to go to Niagara Falls with family. ^^;; It's for Hyun Joo (out guest from Korea). Maybe we can do a little gambling too at Casino Rama...

///// Sunday, August 4, 2002 ///// 12:34 a.m. /////

Ah sorry everyone. x.x;; I have been very busy going out almost everyday showing Toronto to my friend Hyun Joo. It's really fun but oh so exhausting. @_@;; I went to Wonderland today and it was fun but gosh I am tired. ^^;; I haven't been reading much blogs or doing anything web related lately. If I am missing out on some good/bad stuff, I am so sorry. ;_; Oh well, I have heard that Naruto is gonna be off Toriyama's World due to Shounen Jump coming to the US and Canada. You know, that doesn't make me happy. x.x;; Yeah it's only 20 bucks for the Americans...but it's like 31 bucks for us Canadians. >_<;; And before, I was getting Naruto for free. >_<;; But that isn't the biggest issue. I already own up to date Japanese copies of Naruto and Shaman King because like any good scanlations fans do, I bought the originals because I loved the manga so damned much. And the only reason I wanted the scanlations was to get my hands on the English translations of the MOST RECENT VOLUMES. For Viz to catch up to the recent story right now...it's gonna take forever!! @_@;;; And I know Viz is notoriously slow...gah. Well I guess it is good news for the new fans...less so for the older fans.

Well at least Hikaru no Go and Hunter x Hunter wasn't bought up. ^^;; I wish they had picked up Prince of Tennis though. ;_; That is one manga I wouldn't mind getting since I own none of the Japanese versions. Gah...must go to Kikiwai soon...I wanna get King of Bandits Jing. ^^v Very cute anime...and the art style is great. Jing makes me think of Daisuke and Dark...together. Oh gosh! Jing must be their love child!! *laughs*

///// Saturday, July 27, 2002 ///// 09:51 p.m. /////

Wah, sorry I haven't been writing folks. Been a bit...busy. And anti-social. *laughs* Anyways, my mom's best friend's daughter just came to visit us from Korea for a month...so I shall be acting as the entertainment giver kinda thing. Gonna be busy I guess. ^^;;

Been watching lots of Prince of Tennis. It's good. I like. From now on, when I play tennis, I am gonna scream "OSHA!! ORYAA!! GREATO!! MOERUZE BURNING!!" *hugs Takashi* He is so funny.

Ok I better go...we are going out. ^^;; Again. ^^v

///// Friday, July 19, 2002 ///// 04:33 a.m. /////

OK. I think I will have to get the Naruto character book now. The reason? CLICK HERE FOR A REALLY HOT PICTURE OF KAKASHI SENSEI!!! Oh my god he is so hot!! I love you Kakashi sensei!!! *_* Actually Orochimaru looks kinda interesting there too...

Wow, Melz, thanks again for that cool scan. You are so lucky that you can read that book and understand it. My Japanese sucks like hell. ;_; Ok, what I wanna know is, how the hell did Kakashi graduate the Academy at 5 and become a Chuunin at 6? o_O;; I mean, I know the Yondaime was his teacher but...he is amazing!! *_* And by the way, what IS his bloodtype? ^^;;

No problem, Reins. ^_^ I like your new layout but it is a bit hard to read. x.x;; Sorry...you have probably heard this already. ^^; It's just that, I have astigmatism and even with glasses, it's hard to focus on blurry objects. x.x;; I have to highlight your posts when I read them. >_<;; Gomen!!!

Wahh...just watched Vampire Hunter D BLoodlust. BEAUTIFUL MOVIE. Too bad the dialogue was bad. x.x; I know they made it with a US company and targeted it originally for a English speaking audience but...UGH!!! No offense to English voice actors (because there are a lot of good ones out there) but you guys have trouble with anime. I really wish they had made a Japanese dub English sub version of this movie. But all in all, really great. ^_^ Wah...D is so pretty. *_* I love his...armour. *coughs* ^^;; Right...armour...*oggles him* And Meier Link was SOOOO beautiful!! He looked like Folken from Escaflowne...but with fangs. ^_____^ Ahh...should go to sleep now...tired. x.x;

///// Tuesday, July 16, 2002 ///// 04:09 a.m. /////

It's 4 am and I am slightly drunk. Slightly. Got some really good news from school that made me just downright ecstatic. So me and bro (and later dad) got together and did some vodka shots. Wah. The first time I have ever drank with my dad. It was cool I tell ya. My dad is just so goddamned cool.

So yeah...I am relaxed. Very loose. And I wanna cry. Well I did cry some but I wanna cry more. I feel like I have been stuck in a small cage and someone has just given me the key. Ahh...the euphoria...the wonderful wonderful lightness of my soul...hahahahhaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!

*glomps Satsuki chan* Wahh!!! Satsuki chan!!! You wrote about me in your blog!! Me so happy!!! I just wish Yahoo messenger wouldn't keep tricking me into thinkiing you are online...I miss you, ya know...*hugs* And eh? I am a NICE Zetsuai character? Does such a thing exist? *laughs* Hmm...if I was Koji's manager, I would probably end up either killing him or myself. *cackles* Now...if I was K from Gravitation...oh baby, give me those assault rifles any day!! *_*

Kyahh...ok me try to sleep ne...the alcohol is making me sleepy. Hmm...vodka tastes like rubbing alcohol...tee hee...

///// Monday, July 15, 2002 ///// 03:50 p.m. /////

Wahh...I have been bad with blogging. @_@;; I keep meaning to make a new layout for this thing and do more blogging but...feeling so uninspired. x.x;; I have the image I want to use...I know the style of layout I want...SO WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I DO IT!!!??? >_<;;;

Anyway, my Yami no Matsuei Keepers List has over 10,000 hits now. *_* Me very happy nyo! ^-^ It amazes me just how big the site is...I never imagined it would grow to such a size. ^^; I mean...258 keepers in total. @_@;; And 68 of those are Tsuzuki's alone with Hisoka as the second most popular. @_@;;; Kyahh. Surprisingly, Watari is surpassing Tatsumi and Muraki by quite a bit. ^^;; I always thought there was more fangirls for the crazy doctor and the anal accountant...

Been busy downloading and burning anime. x.x;; Not enough time to watch it all though. Currently getting more Inuyasha, Hikaru no Go, Shaman King, Prince of Tennis, Chobits, Hunter x Hunter, Full Metal Panic, and many more. x.x Hmm...except for Chobits, it's all shounen stuff. ^^;; And mostly from Jump. I guess shoujo just doesn't interest me that much anymore. ^_~;; I love Berserk to bits right now (I want the DVDs!!) although that manga makes me depressed. x.x;; And I finally got my hands on Vampire Hunter D Bloodlust. *_* Geez that took forever to download. x.x;; Must watch that after my bro comes home. ^____^ Prince of Tennis makes me nostalgic for my own Tennis days. ;_; I still remember going to a tournament with a broken left arm. ^^;; I almost had the second place but just couldn't do it. Third place was still sweet though. ^^v

Oi, Reins, is this address permanent now? x.x;; You seem to be moving quite frequently.

Bwahahahaha!! Poor Leareth!! ^______^ Well you can always go to the Queer As Folk episode summary site and see what you missed. ^___^ See, this is why I just bought the whole damn season 1 on DVD...so if someone comes into my room, I just pause it. So far, I have been lucky and it has paused in areas that are not blatantly sexual. ^^;; And yeah, Brian is a Grade A Prick. ^_^ I love him so. *snickers* And you gotta admit, some of the stuff that Mike suffers, he brings it on himself. He should just stand up to Brian for goodness sake. -_-;; As for Justin...*shoots him* Although I have been told he gets better in the second season. ^^;;

Oi Neko chan, I took that Zetsuai Character Quiz and I got "Yoshiya Takafumi". Who is that? It says that he is "sweet, sensitive, intelligent...and full of exuberant creativity. You're the voice of reason who seeks to keep the peace but those who defy you should beware your temper!!" Does that sound like me? ^^;;

Lilack, oh yes there is a lot of pairings in Yu Yu Hakusho. ^____^ I mean come on!!! Kurama and Hiei are like married I tell ya!! ^___^ Togashi sensei even did a special side story to show how they met. ^^v And let's not get into the blatant Karasu x Youko Kurama or Yomi x Kurama stuff...*grins* The funny thing is, even before I really knew what yaoi was, I had heard of Kurama x Hiei. ^^; They are infamous ne? *laughs*

All righty...me gonna go and have lunch now. I just came back from another dentist appointment and my teeth hurts like hell...but I am hungry. ;_; Turns out that I need surgery to get my wisdom teeth out...all FOUR of them. *CRIES CRIES CRIES* That is gonna hurt like a fucking bitch! Not to mention the cost!! >_<;;

///// Thursday, July 11, 2002 ///// 07:19 a.m. /////

Stayed up all night watching the Berserk anime. I feel drained...and horribly sad. The only consolation I can take is that I read the manga and Gatts, Caska, and Rickert survives. But I miss Judeau. I really miss Judeau. As for Griffith...I have no words that can fully express what I feel for him. He is a being too terrible to behold. Like a light that shines so bright that it burns my eyes away...