|
What's in your box?
She threw down her apron...and walked away.
So last night I quit. About fucking time you say? Ai says I. I feel happy, yet regretful. It's like 3 years of my life, a crappy 3 years sure, but 3 years all the same. If I hadn't worked there I would have never learned to: swear in Arabic, slap a pizza, lose my sanity, and I would have never met him. But hey, what's in the past...
It drove out of my life...
The car, it sang to me (it's kickass stereo did anyhow), I dreamed of it, I imagined it as mine, and just like that it was gone. I'm disheartened, I hate car shopping, and my parents are trying to make me buy an old person car. If even ONE person says, "But it only matters that it gets you from A to B", I will KILL them.
Life sucks, today is one year, will someone remember? Doubtful. I'm going now.
Monopoly
Why do I hate Her so much?
What right do I have?
Perhaps my hostility stems from the fact that at one time she had a monopoly on your heart
Does she still?
Am I but an interloper, unable to gain a share of her possesion- your love?
Do you love, even?
Maybe sex is love, and I just don't know it yet?
But sex can exist without love, whereas love, intimate love can't exist without sex.
Conflict
Why do you lie to me?
Or lie with me in fact?
Are lies a way to keep me at a distance, or control me?
True, your adaptations of the truth push me away
Suspicion wars in my mind and heart
How can you control me with lies?
You can't, it won't make me complacent, maybe it will make me angry
Maybe I'm angry already?
Why can't I express my anger, uncertainty, annoyance, towards you?
Perhaps I fear your anger in return?
Can I overlook the flaws in your love?
Oh, but do I love you.
Raving Psycho Blonde
Mission Birthday was a success, now that it is a success I'll no longer be cynical, and will now claim some part of its conception and execution. Aren't I fucking wonderful? You'd think so wouldn't you, but I'm a fraud. My Chemisty midterm was today, and you know what I realized, I'm a chem idiot, what an epiphany huh?
I see happy couples in a public, and I think give me a break, but then I think why can't that be me. I feel like a lonely, alone type person, even though I know someone cares for me. But does he really? Probably not, I'm probably delusional. For all I know I'm locked in a cell somewhere imagining all of this.
I need to go shopping. Meghan, help! I need to indulge my superficial id, or I'm going to go fucking insane, maybe I am already. Tomorrow I have to sound like I know what Blake is about...Why did I open my mouth? Taken out of context that sounds bad, gee, I'm 14 again.
I don't like it here. I don't like it there. I don't like it anywhere. Like what, you ask? I don't know, insert idea here, and then think what you want to think about me.
I need sleep, and I need someone to love me, and I need the world to go away. Can anyone arrange that? Didn't think so.
What the?
Blair Witch 2, what the hell was that? Creepy, fucked-up, what the hell. I'm scared, hold me?? Nevermind, you might be the witch....*scream* The laughing, the voices, where's my bed?
My name sir?
The whole world is coming crashing down around me, my English Prof knows my name, and out of the whole class there's only two names he knows. What does this mean for me? I'll actually have to pay attention, and be intelligent, or, I could just hide under my bed.
Chem, say what?
Chemistry Midterm, Stupid Chem Student, constant pressure, and temperature, what is the final grade result. Oh, I know! I know! A 4, and what do I need for Medicine, an 8.5 you say...but teacher, that just doesn't add up. *wail* I hate Chemistry, and I hate sciences, and I'm going to go hide under my bed now.
By the way, happy Halloween.
I hate essays!
I'm half way through an essay, and my brain is completely fried. I'm sitting here twitching, with an occasional drip of drool droping onto the pool that has formed on my keyboard. If I write duh??? for the rest of my essay do you think I'll pass? I'm personally willing to risk it. If anyone has anymore suggestions for words I could put in a mediocre essay email me.
What else do I have to say? Hmmm....cynical hasn't caught happy/funny yet, I'm concerned. I'm always suspicious when I'm this stupidly happy for such a long period of time? What if I stay happy forever? Whoa there cowgirl, don't get hysterical, it won't happen. Imagine having to be happy all the time, well wait, that's me at school, nevermind....draining.
I love Halloween, but this year I didn't get invited out anywhere, so I'm going to dress up as a pathetic loser staying at home. Original eh? I'm going back to my essay now, duh???
evol?
So, when you finally hear "I love you" what do you do? Me, what do I do? Surprisingly a funny little voice in my head runs around in circles, the cyncial voice trying to run it down and stab it to death. So, essentially right now I'm a cloud 9, but soon cynicism will catch up, its right on funnies heels. I don't think I'm making sense, but who cares?
puzzles are puzzling
Why do we say things that we do? Why do we edit the truth? Edit it so much in fact that the whole paper of our life is covered with red pen, a spelling mistake here, a run-on sentence there, and an omission here. Sometimes, it's just so confusing that all I want to do is hide under my bed until the whole world goes away, and then I realize, the dust bunnies living under there would probably sacrifice me to their anti-vacuum gods. So, do I think of new places to hide, or instead should I be the grown-up that they all think I am, and face the world, and all its edits? Or, do I learn how to use punctuation correctly? So many questions, the world is a puzzling puzzle.
Angie is THE woman!
A HUGE thank you has to go out to Angie, who has taught me how to be a Linking Slut! Well, kinda, I'm still getting the hang of it...anyhoo, I'm feeling much better. Thank you.
|
