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:name: ysa
:nicknames: why-sa, tiong, vagrant, zamu, ri-chan, sven, kain, cross, daisuke, shi no tenshi, der todesengel, baka-neko, dreamer18, tulisan
:age: 18
:height: 5"2
:occupation: poet? artist? soccer player?
:hobbies: writing, reading, sketching, playing video games, soccer, basketball, photography
:scared of: perodontists *shuudder* more like trauma....
:motto: Anything less than your best is not worth giving at all.
:email: renholder8888@hotmail.com
:latest obsessions: tonberries! photoshop 7, making layouts, photography :D
== all i want for christmas... ==
playstation2
the sandman series
angels and devils by dan brown
MARS (gackt)
MERVEILLES (malice mizer)
REBIRTH (gackt)
MOON (gackt)
== HATES ==
going to the orthodontist, creepy crawly snakes, (there's more i know, i've just forgotten :P)
== LIKES ==
~favorite movies~ the matrix, the matrix reloaded, devil’s advocate, girl interrupted, ring 1, 2 and 0, lotr 1&2, moulin rouge, crouching tiger hidden dragon, escaflowne the movie, road to perdition, hero, chicago, the recruit
~favorite ps/pc games~ ff6, ff7, ff8, vagrant story, diablo2, metal gear solid 1 and 2, devil may cry 1 and 2
~favorite books~ vampire lestat, queen of the damned, stardust, lions of al-rassan, tigana, american gods, the famished road
~favorite food~ Sbarro's white cheese pizza, McDonald's sausage Mcmuffin, KFC chicken, katsudon, pasta, pizza, mom's chicken parmegianni, sukiyaki, fried noodles with sharksfin dumplings, junk food, cheese cake, rootbeer float
~favorite songs~
shimmer- fuel
push- matchbox 20
iris- goo goo dolls
mizerable- gackt
bel air- malice mizer
stigmatized- the calling
hanging by a moment- lifehouse
smooth- santana
i think god can explain- splender
crazy for you- sponge cola
jeepney- sponge cola
monkey wrench- foo fighters
travelling- utada hikaru
drive-incubus
echo-incubus
miss you love- silverchair
my favorite thing-silverchair
mad about you- sting
my immortal-evanesence
duvet- BOA
broken vow- josh groban
secret garden- gackt
like a stone- audioslave
tsuki no uta- gackt
== links ==
fanfiction:
dreamer18
fictionpress:
dreamer18
otaku school
ringworld
matrix
santana
silverchair
utada hikaru
goo goo dolls
perfect circle
incubus online
chris cornell
the blu
miniclips
aerosmith
== blogs ==
forbidden mantra
utopia's fall
many kisses to you
unlock thine heart and mind
backroomlove
blood&iron
empyrean
ivfhm
eternal bliss
= song post =
Now I will tell you what I've done for you
50,000 tears I cry
Screaming,
Deceiving,
And bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
Don't want your hand this time
I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reach the bottom
I dive again
I'm going under
Drowning with you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm, going under
Blurring and stirring the truth that comes out
(I don't know what's real and what's not)
Always confusing the thoughts is my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I dive again
I'm going under
Drowning with you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through,
I'm, so go on and scream
Scream at me, so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe
I can't keep going under
I dive again
I'm going under
Drowning with you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through,
I'm, going under
Going under
I'm going under
~Going Under (EVANESCENCE)
== old entries ==
aug.08.02-dec.20.02
dec.29.02-feb.12.03
march.07.03-may.17.03
may.20.03-july.10.03
july.23.03-july.30.03
-tuesday, august 12 '03 12:00 pm
i'm getting my braces this weekend and from what i've heard from a lot of people..it hurts like hell...they say you can't eat anything except soup (slurp!) and you start talking funny and people can't understand you (gagaguga gaga!)well, aside from me getting braces this weekend, i'm about to graduate from driving school :D *backflips* i can get my driver's lisence soon too :J *evil laugh* i can finally kidnap people for ransom! i will now also be able to drive thru in mcdo (or any fast food joint) anytime i wish, i can make gimik more too...though getting a driver's lisence entitles me to doing the grocery LoL
anyways, just blogged by to say that i will dissppear for a while, it's midterm week (more like month...) so i'll be majorly busy, papers and projects and stuffies :P so adios dudes, till next time :J
++++ the vagrant
07: early in the morning
-friday, august 8 '03 2:20 am
You are Sadie. No one cared how you turned up dead,
so you chose to rise instead. Being easily
forgotten wouldnt be fair, death was something
you had to share.
Which Living Dead Doll Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You Are: Death of the Endless You are Death, the second oldest of the Endless,
the seven great incarnations. She is, in outward appearance, a goth with wild
unkempt hair and slightly punkish clothes. But
she is far beyond that mere description. Her
function is much like the "Reaper,"
to collect the souls of mortals as they die. She is perky, optimistic, and bright, but she also
has a serious side, which shows when she is
angry or upset. She can become quite frustrated
with her brother, when he is being singularly
foolish. People fear her because of what she is, and this
can get her down sometimes. But they also love
her, without ever truly knowing why.
What Sandman Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
06: not long after...
-thursday, august 7 '03 12:27 pm
i just got out of my writing and illustrating for children class :D had fun and i feel a bit better :) jason moss came to speak in our class today, to talk about collage. arlo, one of my classmate's fav illustrator LoL it turns out he got shocked coz jason moss was gay LoL nasty surprise....our teacher, ms. panch: o arlo! jason moss is here, your favorite illustrator, don't you have any questions for him?
arlo: *too shocked to say anything*
jason moss: *gets on top of arlo's table and crosses his legs* yeah, don't you have any questions for me?
arlo: *shakes his head*
jason moss: *bats his eyelashes at arlo* are you sure?
arlo: *turns red and nods his head*
jason: may boyfriend ka ba?
LOL LOL hahahahahahahaha! kawawang arlo XP anyway, jason moss did a collage :D and i got to keep it yey! i have a signed work of jason moss :D really enjoyed the class today, he teaching here in the ateneo on november :J i wanna take his class
plus i felt really good when he said "hmmmm...i see potential" :D i felt like giving him a hug, but i think that would freak him out LoL so i just asked for his autograph :J
anyways i gotta go, i'll start working on my filipino paper @____@ argh....
++++ the vagrant
05: 6:28am
-thursday, august 7 '03 10:08 am
i'm writing this during my SA class -____- which is damnably boring btw. came to school early today...went to training to tell coach that i quit the team...and its official, as of 6:28 am today that i am no longer part of the ateneo soccer team.its not supposed to hurt this way...i didn't think it would--i hoped it wouldn't.
he just said "ok". i don't know why it sounded so....ouch...maybe coz i expected at least a "why?" or something of the sort, turns out he didn't bother to. which could only mean 2 things i've figured: he knew i was quitting coz i was mad at him somehow or that he couldn't care less, he felt that it was no big loss anyway.
either reason anyway, it hurts >.<
i just left after that coz i started tearing (i have no idea why though.... *scratches head*) i just kept on walking and walking, i never looked back- didn't wanna look back, didn't want anybody to know it affected me- that quitting the team affected me that badly.
went to the library as soon as it opened and worked on some school stuff. bumped into Kei, apparantly he had quit the team too, he said it was getting too hectic. when you play, soccer has to be your life, it requires dedication...but then our priorty afterall is to study. hes right anyway, i didn't go to college to play soccer, i came here to the ateneo to study.
its too much hassle anyway, waking up at 4:00 am to go to training plus i'm gettin braces so i'll be starved silly and i'd hate to be my ortho when she tries to get the soccer ball dislodged from my braces....
ok, so everyone knows that i'm just making light of the matter...but y'know? if i remain sad and let it affect me, it's just going to make me feel worse. it hurts yeah, leaving the team, but i'm lucky, very lucky to have met my teammates :J they were the best part of the experience, so thank god for em :d
++++ the vagrant
04: .....
-wednesday, august 6 '03 8:28 am
haven't really gotten around to blogging lately...dunno, just couldn't find the words to describe just how exactly i was feeling. so, now here, when i've calmed down a bit to make a sense of things i feel sad, frustrated and angry.i'm quitting the team, its a sad thing, coz i don't wanna leave my teammates, they aren't just my teammates- they're my friends. but at the same time, i have to quit, because i hate playing. it doesn't make any sense to play when you hate even just being there on the field. it dirves me crazy, you have no idea, to feel this way about the sport i've loved for so long. i've sweated and bleed for this sport for almost 12 years and now...i can't stand it.
rather i can't stand him- everytime i see him i get so angry, everytime he talks i block out whatever the hell he's saying. and as all athletes know, you can't not listen to the coach, hes the one giving the gameplay. and if you can't play according to the gameplay, you screw up the team's performance.
i mean, it would have been ok if you screwed up and it were a one-man sport but this is soccer, a team sport, you belong to a team and if you screw up- the team screws up. you're mistakes are their mistakes coz you guys are a team.
my teammates mean a whole lot to me and i think i'm doing what i think would help the team- quitting. the team doesn't need a player who doesn't want to play, who can't give it her whole 100% performance. i think giving up my slot for someone who deserves it more is the right thing.
i'm honestly not too happy about it but i'm doing what i think makes sense. i hope this doesn't last and i hope my teammates would understand and maybe take me back if i decide to come back next year.
well....one can only hope...
++++the vagrant
03: cool art
-saturday, august 2 '03 9:31 am
chanced upon a cool site yesterday when i was looking for alex band pix (i told you chris cornell infatuation wouldn't last :P) they've got really cool graphics here check it out: deviantart i got a couple of pics from the wallpapers section and the designs gallery :P checkin out the photography section and the indy sectioni recommend you check out the x-horizon, it's photography but really good :J he's my idol now :D checked out his stuff, he's from swsitzerland and a general digital phographer (wazzat? @___@) huh? NANI!?! he's only 19 @___@ awawawawawawa he looks old...LoL ok, so i'm mean :J sue me
this shots one of my favorites RENAISSANCE cool huh? :P anyways, gotta go to dress up, gotta a game and it's almost call-time, later.
++++ the vagrant
02: rainy days
-friday, august 1 '03 5:33 pm
just got home from driving school (still haven't bumped anything YET, mind you :J) it was another instructor coz mine went to give a lecture somewhere ;____; was kinda scared of this intructor, he kept on insisting for me to overtake and to go to really tight spaces @____@ i like bobby (my original instructor), this dude edwin takes too many risks -____- awawawawawa...was thinking on the way home, dunno, theres something about the rain that makes me think, gets me nostalgic and all. just remembering the times when i'd walk home, hair soaked and my clothes were dripping wet and somehow i couldn't feel the coldness. the rain poured on and i couldn't care less. couldn't care less if i got sick, if i was cold, i felt nothing. now, the lack of emotion only scares me and at the same time makes me wonder.
or i remember the times, id come home dump my bag by the corner of my room, take out my school books, never intending to study though, i'd just draw the night away or write the world away, the world i thought never cared for my existence. and if so, why should i then care for my existence?
i existed, yes, but i wasn't living, wasn't living in the sense that i took life for granted. the twisted existence, one might call it, because despite that darkness in me, the good in me was struggling to get out. it was crying for help, someone help me. i had the misconception then that some person would come along and help me stand and shine.
but you know what? it turns out that you don't really need to wait for anybody to come along, you just need to realize that you can make it on your own. once you realize you can do antyhing, nobody can stop you, you just keep on going. its a constant adrenaline *smirk* well, that's it for todays trip down memory lane.
nothing much happened in school, just that i'm really glad that the lib is open now :d i missed it like crazy, the nice cold comfy lib where i sleep and study. am not really a bench person, too noise and too many people gets me grumpy :P yup, im a grumpy wumpy when theres too much people and its NOISY, thus the reason why i purchased the headset, drowns out the noise pollution :) i lurv my headset :) now i need a car......*grin*
anyhow, i have to get to reading my stuff for school, lotta readings @___@ awawawawawa such is the life of a college student :J heck, who cares anyway when you're havin fun?
++++ the vagrant
ps. i miss MCDO sausage mcmuffin and hot chocolate in the early morns with my teammates :_____:
pps. BEST OF LUCK to all you guys taking the UPCAT tomorrow
01: New layout yet again :J
-thursday, july 31 '03 5:58 pm
and like the last one, it's GACKT-sama :D made it black this time, i missed having a black layout pretty much, also added some stuff, like what i hate, what scares me and my email add :J then i added in the "adopted who?" part, mostly jrock people i adopted (dir en grey, gackt, malice mizer)still experimenting with html :T am trying to get better at it, i think i'm getting the hang of it :P i'm planning to make a layout with some of my drawings (hopefully my sister buys a scanner :D) as of now, maybe i could ask some kind soul out there to scan my stuff for me? *hint hint* LoL
anyways, i'm off, to find some photography sites :J ja
++++ the vagrant
ps: visit chris cornell's (audioslave) site! hes got some pretty interesting photos :P my latest (or not so latest) crush :D
+++ tag here +++
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