Sunday, September 28, 2003
05:39 p.m.
Im hEre to start yet another cycle of nonsensical babble.I realise i tend to blog more,yes,uncontrollably, when im stressed,when the upcoming exams are taking over me.Revisited my past entries the other day and i realised the O level days werent as bad as now. I used to be so much more disciplined.Oh well!What happened to you bee?(yes im affectionately known as that..muahaha:/).
Not very productive today again.Well i guess its the time of the month again!I feel bloated and disguisted,yes,by myself most of the time.I feel as if i weigh a thousand tonnes when i dance (in fact i am that heavy anyway!).Hormones seem to be taking charge, and these days i find myself fantasising a lil too much.
Sometimes i wonder if im really forgotten,or im really a sucker for company.I dont know.I cant seem to concentrate cos i tend to check my phone pretty often to see if i have received any smses from anyone.Haha.Of course,everyones busy studying.Heh its so amusing when in the past,my heart would start pumping real fast when T** msgs me.TEeHee.Havent heard from him for a while...i wonder how hes doing.
I have to constantly remind myself of the decision ive made exactly two wks ago.And that is, to completely wash off my feelings for him.Somehow my heart tends to waver by what he does/says to me.I dont know.I think i shouldnt think too much abt this right now.
StudY studY sTudy, you fool!:P
I cant wait to get outta this hell-hole,dammit!
Saturday, September 27, 2003
11:18 p.m.
Im here for a quick update and i will be off pretty soon.
Plan to study lots n lots of biology today but...to no avail.My attention was diverted to chem and math instead.If i continue studying bio at this rate i will nv pass that darn subject.
Why cant we have a study leave next week?Its pretty difficult to do your revision and at the same time complete your homework on the same day.ArGh.
Thoughts of that someone has been occupying my mind today.Its pretty annoying.While some can be disguisted by what i have been doing,I cant understand why im so involved in this.Hah.Now i betta stop this.
All right, to those who are studying hard for their exams.Take care and all the best.
I will end with something rather inspirational for tonight,before i head to my brother's room to devour all the lecture notes.
Do not pray for tasks equal to your power,
Rather, pray for powers equal to your tasks.
Sunday, September 21, 2003
10:30 p.m.
I mused upon the ways you have been trying to seek attention. Are you seriously lacking in self-confidence,or like me, you are just lonely at times?Sometimes i wish the friendship between us could be more that this superficial.
Yes,there isnt such thing called perfection.I know.
I got so scared all of a sudden.Im praying that i have the strength within me to pull through times like this.Wished someone could be by my side,at all times.But no,i gotta be standing on my own feet.Its no use craving for company and help from ppl who are seemingly getting selfish and self-centred these days.
Faith.Thats all i ever need.
Sunday, September 21, 2003
12:11 a.m.
Suddenly i remembered this year is coming to an end.
Ive been reflecting on the kind of life ive been leading.There were times of ups and downs, definitely.I pondered on what Shu Qin had said on one of our days together during the first 3 mths.Everything that happened has got a reason behind it..its all..well-planned.
well, shant post anything too heavy here..afterall,im here to relax!!(for a while:P)
Heres a few shoutouts for some of my friends!:
Shu Qin:Appreciated yr presence when i needed help most..thanks girl:)Sometimes i wished you could be here with me all the while,but i guessed you were right.All of us could rely on ourselves.Glad that you are handling the situations quite well.Jia you:)
Yong Xue:Thanks for yr advice before my exam!saturation isnt good afterall,right?:)Those words are certainly useful.(yes and even though a pass would still be beyond my reach)Thanks:)
Mich and Emily:Hey..haven been talking to you all much.Just wanna say hi here.*waves*..really miss u all.Take care.
Guess thats it.I gotta continue studying.
Saturday, September 20, 2003
12:38 a.m.
Missing you loads now...for some unknown reason.Shit.Stay focussed you idiot!
Saturday, September 20, 2003
01:46 p.m.
Im currently on a mugger mode, well at least im attempting.This week was comparatively....better...and i have offcially completed my elementary ballet!!;) (if i can pass that is)Received a couple of sms frm friends and all before i went in...what can i say?Terribly touching...and those words of encouragements certainly helps:)Thanks to:Michelle, Shuqin, Yong Xue, Fion, Yen Lin, Juan Juan (in no particular order!heh).A simple message can mean a great difference;)
Saturday, September 13, 2003
11:08 p.m.
Status:Mugger Mode
Yes im removing the laptop from my study table...no more online n stuff.Thats absolute nonsense!
Time to say goodbye dearies!
Saturday, September 13, 2003
11:25 a.m.
Is Uncertainty That Beautiful?
I havent stop fantasising abt Takeshi and his violin.Someone please help.Teehee.Im in love with violinists like him (let me stress,urm,in the movie):)
Im talking to hM now and im telling her how deeply in love i am with musicians.Oh god.Well..'hahaz..you will find yrs one day'.Wishful thinking!!
I wonder if i can feel with that much intensity,like Gigi Leung in the movie, Turn Left, Turn Right.Oh that got me all started again...i love musicians!:P
Oh well.Shall stop sounding so shallow.Its time to study!Whee!Im trying to make myself in love with mugging for the promos as well.YOU are outta my live!Thats the spirit,girl!
BrRrr.Ballet exams on next wed.Oh fk, i still have a damn sickle left feet.
BeePbEep!High dosage of vulgarities over here!i gotta quit this.
T-a-k-e-s-h-i:D
Friday, September 12, 2003
01:02 p.m.
Oh yes,i might be moving soon.Its goodbye to oceanus_.pitas or im going on hiatus.Im losing too much privacy.
Friday, September 12, 2003
12:51 p.m.
I think i can no longer describe how i feel, because i myself dont know how and what exactly im feeling.Im weird,complicated,complex and eccentric.Thats how i think of myself, possibly.
Why?I ask myself.Why am i still clinging on to all these?Im tired,definitely.
Time to study,hopefully.
Thursday, September 11, 2003
12:11 p.m.
I love the song xiang zuo zou, xiang you zou by Gigi Leung.It sounds pretty melancholic.Well,suits my mood anyway.Haha.Oh no.Recently ive been fantasizing abt Takeshi Kaneshiro.Goodness,hes so...cool..damn gorgeous in the movie.
Ive been thinking about the movie as well.Could the person that is meant for me be around me all the while?
I hope so,but it doesnt seem like it.So fat hope,Debbie.Never look around you, thats the quote of the day.Haha.
But i do believe in fate.Surely, there must be a reason why ive met you.Why you?Out of so many ppl.Sounds so cliche..but well..nth good comes from me anyway.
They're both convinced
that a sudden passion joined them.
Such certainty is beautiful,
but uncertainty is more beautiful still.
Ju4 li2-means standing in front of you without you knowing that the person i like is you.
WHAT CRAP!!WAKE UP LAH!
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
10:28 p.m.
Watched Turn Left, Turn Right today.My eyes had a great feast on Takeshi Kaneshiro of course.Oh my..hes so gorgeous.How i wish i can marry someone like him (in the movie)!I always wanted to marry a dancer or a musician since young.Heh.I think musicians are sensitive beings,i dont know.Just <3 <3 it!:)
Oh well.Im sorry.I dont know what is that for.
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
01:12 a.m.
Sometimes i wish i could contain all conflicting emotions just within myself.I dont feel like sharing despite all my friends standing by me whenever i need them.To:
Shu Qin:Haha SFker.Teehee.Will listen to yr advice,surely.All the best for your piano exam.Remember to relax!Will talk more about your *ahem ahem* and my *ahem ahem* after promos.waHahA.
SeRene:Your trust in fate..heh.Yes,he will be here soon:P
Yen Lin: Hello sweets!You seem to be really determined and passionate in what you believe in.Sometimes i think we have had similar encounters.but oh well,time to move on!:)
Tuesday, September 9, 2003
11:30 p.m.
One day, i might just walk up to him and say-Hey,do you know ive been liking you?The whole world knows it except you.What do you think?.
It strange to find yrself eager to know how the other party feels about you.Yet, deep within, you are so afraid of rejection. What if everything turns out to be negative?
I sank into depression alone,once again.Sometimes i thought to myself-Why bother?.He might be treating you as a well...friend..all these while.Why am i risking my future for him?Is it worth it?Is this true love in the first place?
I doubt myself.Im just craving for company i guess.Im always bursting with laughter but noone can ever comprehend how i feel inside.The complexities of the human nature?
sometimes i believe that the only person who can help me is myself alone.very true, isnt it?
Monday, September 8, 2003
10:56 p.m.
Life can be GooOooD
Just read Shu Qins blog.Its highly amusing..haha what the hell...i just cant stop laughing.hahaha.aHem aHem!
Went to her hse this afternoon and as expected,i ended up slacking.How sinful!I played the piano for a while and then attempted to study..but to no avail.HOhoHO.The power of..love eh?!
Should i go study with Yongxue tmr?..hahaha.Cease laughing you idiot!!Yes u know who you are,girl.Haha!Oh my god,this tickles my funny bone!Teeheee!
Kk.-mode switch-.Promos are in less than a months time!*panicks*...i believe i can do it!:)Anyway,my ballet exam will be on the 17th of Sept,which is next wednesday.So wish me luck people.I really need it..i hope i wont fart when i do the jumps on that day.Haha, yes i farted when i landed during class the other time.
Life can be good if you want it to be.I hope tmr will be better:)
Tuesday, September 2, 2003
09:24 p.m.
Counting down...
I was so touched by the song- Yu Jian (Sun Yanzi) that i cried.Its terribly sweet:)..oh my.Im dying to watch the movie Turn left,turn right, hopefully with the special one i guess!Yea yea..Takeshi!Did you see how gorgeous he looked when he played the violin?Oh goody..thats my kinda guy!Heh!
*slap my butt*Im promised myself not to come online anymore but hey,check it out!What am i doing here?!I slapped myself,(yes you doubt but its true)because i only wanted to sleep for an hr but in the end i wasted 3 hrs.Can u imagine!3 bloody freaking long hrs gone just like that!
Today was okie i guess.Oh dear,how i wish shu qin and i can be in the same class!!*wink*
Silly you,look no further.Cant u sense it?
Tuesday, September 2, 2003
10:11 a.m.
Break time made me oblivious to the fact that promos will be here in less than a months time.Time to relax i guess!PEs cancelled and thats all thanks to some workshop the teachers are attending.Bio lect in an hours time...oh well.
To stay or not to stay, thats the question.
TTFN!
