Saturday, November 29, 2003
10:37 p.m.
Dancing without John was like living life without a goal.Hah,yup went to school for cca today and after he left we had no motivation to practise at all.Lazy girls:P
Oh,and i have to mention,Siu Sius and Johns choreogragphy was wonderful.Really creative and sexy,suits the music-Me Against The Music (Britney Spears featuring Madonna) very well:D
Im going over to my sis hse soon.Staying over for a night or so.Shes leaving for Beijing tmr...aaah.Sister in Beijing,Brother in Japan.Im gonna talk to the wall soon.
Thats abt it..will be back pretty soon.:D
Goodnight,sweet love.
Friday, November 28, 2003
11:15 p.m.
Powerpuff girls...CHARGE!
Try again..
Jumpin' jumpin'....
Last one..
Thursday, November 27, 2003
08:55 p.m.
Thursday, November 27, 2003
01:17 a.m.
Something awlful happened today.In fact,i wonder what charitable organisations sincerely do?What does a home for the aged and sick truly need?
Was at the home again.This time,i had even a closer contact with those demented elderly residents.All they could do,was to simply sit and stare,as time passes by.Day and night.I know its pretty rude,but i surveyed some of them with my occassional glances.Whats going on in their mind?Could they be thinking about their past?Are they missing their loved ones?Those wrinkles tell nothing but laborious signs of their past...
Then I visited the kitchen,and then the storeroom.Those supplies of groceries,i reckon,can literally last me for an entire lifetime.Milk powder,rice,bread,all daily essentials.
So tell me,does our comparitively insignificant contribution of 2 packets of rice and 2 tins of milk powder (if we did purchase it) help?I hear your violent rebuttal but do pardon me.We are students offering our help and services,or something which money cant buy,such as company for some of the elderly.We are not working,and i do see no point in forking out money to buy something the home doesnt need.
I wasn't satisfied with that lady's explanation.I admit both parties within ourselves are at fault.There were miscommunication and misunderstandings here and there.Its inevitable.But somehow i found their reactions grossly appalling.
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
11:51 p.m.
Its always nice to have a whole bunch of girls sitting around gossiping about the hottest news in town.YeaH!Had a wonderful time at Cheryls place yesterday and..boy,i must say i am really shocked...
PS:Emily and Michelle,Dua Ni Ni has a boyfriend.Yes.*slaps cheeks*You arent dreaming.
So thats girly talk for u:P
Really miss studying in an all girls school:)Well anyway,my sis will be leaving on Sunday.Poor me,i'll be a lonely soul from then onwards.Haha.
All right,off i go.Have a pleasant week ahead everyone.
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
01:57 p.m.
by echoing
MIRROR
I am silver and exact. I have no preconceptions.
Whatever I see I swallow immediately
Just as it is, unmisted by love or dislike.
I am not cruel, only truthful--
The eye of a little god, four-cornered.
Most of the time I meditate on the opposite wall.
It is pink, with speckles. I have looked at it so long
I think it is a part of my heart. But it flickers.
Faces and darkness separate us over and over.
Now I am a lake. A woman bends over me,
Searching my reaches for what she really is.
Then she turns to those liars, the candles or the moon.
I see her back, and reflect it faithfully.
She rewards me with tears and an agitation of hands.
I am important to her. She comes and goes.
Each morning it is her face that replaces the darkness.
In me she has drowned a young girl, and in me an old woman
Rises toward her day after day, like a terrible fish.
Monday, November 24, 2003
10:54 p.m.
I need to run away to some place where i can truly unwind and be myself again.How i wish i can go overseas.I wanna visit Japan once more!YOU HEAR ME DADDY AND MUMMY!
I sound so much like a damn spoilt brat.
And now,i can completely understand why she felt that way few months back.I have to think so hard before i hit the keys on my laptop.What kind of reaction will i get when i say this?Will i get reprimanded for something i didnt mean to say?
I really think theres smth very wrong.
How i wish our paths in life didnt cross,at all.
Just fk off.I will appreciate it.
Monday, November 24, 2003
12:47 p.m.
Keep running Debbie,dont look back.
Sunday, November 23, 2003
01:09 a.m.
Sweet dreams,my love.
Saturday, November 22, 2003
09:17 p.m.
Saturday, November 22, 2003
01:39 a.m.
Saturday, November 22, 2003
12:55 a.m.
Im really tired now,mentally and physically.Walked quite a distance today to accomplish a mission.Sorry,private and confidential.Haha.Yes i must say guys do not make good shopping companions.Did i ever mention they will get irritated and frustrated after 3 hrs and squabble every subsequent 30 mins?Thats smth very interesting to note:P
Right now,i have so many things to type and my thoughts are just running wild..
I guess all of you are right.Ive been so foolish all these while and i think i probably worth nothing to..well,yes,you-got-it.I could just be the only one you-got-it could turn to when you-got-it got rejected by the back of everyones hand.To me,thats everything but in you-got-it's opinion,this worths nothing.
I need to disconnect myself from this.NOW.
Thursday, November 20, 2003
09:16 p.m.
Thursday, November 20, 2003
12:15 p.m.
Its going to be a boring day ahead i guess.Maybe i could...
1.Clean up my room.
2.Practise SAT.
3.Play gunbound.(gee,i have had enough of that game.)
4.Continue reading the novel i had borrowed from the library.
5.Write in my diary.
6.Sleep the day away.
7.Do aerobics/ballet.
8.Study,abt anything.
9.Dream. 10.Think of him.Hah.
You take the pick!;P
Thursday, November 20, 2003
12:43 a.m.
Im feeling pretty sleepy right now but i thought i should just write something here to wrap up the day.
ArGh,went to the tour agency this afternoon with my sis to collect her air tickets to Beijing.zZz.My hopes of going there together with my sis has vanished into thin air just like that.zZz.Well,thats aside.Terry will be staying with me i hope!;)yeah,and thats when i shall have a taste of how its like to keep a pet at home.Haha.
*sigh*Sometimes i really wonder where is this heading.Im confused.I feel as if im stuck in a maze and i need some directions to get outta the hellhole.I thought i got over it but yeah,apparently i havent.Whats the use of clinging on this kinda relationship where mutual understanding doesnt exist!?It beats me either.
Zhiyong is so right.I guess when you are close to the person,small little issues get magnified and you begin to get irritated by trivial matters.Thats when you feel petty,ignorant,and perhaps even shallow.
I really have no idea.When will i ever learn?Until i fail again?
Wednesday, November 19, 2003
01:41 a.m.
Im mad now.How temperamental can you be huh?Enoughs enough.One moment you can be weeping and whining and the next minute?Huh!Oh wow,like how ironic can this whole thing be.And the next thing is,i wonder if anyone can just fall in love with a person that you do not know.HAHA,funny.Im thoroughly amused.
So thats it for tonight.
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
12:39 p.m.
Monday, November 17, 2003
08:45 p.m.
Went to Ju Eng Home this afternoon as part of our Service Learning Programme.We were late (cos we alighted at the wrong busstop,unfortunately) and so i approached this lady at the reception and i got one of the worst treatment ever.Firstly, she did not even bother to look into my eyes when speaking to me.Talk about basic courtesy huh.Next.She kinda reprimanded us for reaching the home in small groups.Like..what the hell?I felt like telling her to shut her ass up right on the spot.Hey,we dont need your incompetence over here,lady.I havent been writing like this in my blog for quite some time.And this feeling is,GREAT.
I get really annoyed whenever i get this kinda attitude from people who are older than me.Just because im wearing my school uniform doesnt mean that you have the right to treat ppl like us with that kind of fucking indifference.
Well anyway,ive been listening to the intermediate ballet class music for quite some time and the piece for plies is simply soothing!Oh my,im addicted to it already.Its so dancy.heh.And when they proceed to allegro section,GOSH!it sounds really cheerful and light and you just feel like putting on your ballet shoes and dance the shit outta it!haha.im nuts.
Monday, November 17, 2003
01:05 a.m.
Sunday, November 16, 2003
12:34 a.m.
Saturday, November 15, 2003
01:14 p.m.
Before i step into the world of sporadic shooting and bombing,(yes im more or less addicted to the game,and its all thanks to yX:/)here's some shoutouts to all those out there:)
In no particular order,
Shuqin: Im really glad to have your support on the day i thought the entire world was collapsing on me.I really appreciated it when you came down to my school right after my call despite having a Math ppr on the next day.yup...Thanks alot:)Thanks for being there when i needed someone to talk about that.Haha,dont worry,ive gotten over it baby!:P
Yongxue: Hah,yes what can i say.Thanks:)Sorry for venting all my anger and frustration on you for countless times!I appreciated your kind words of advice as well.Oh yes,i swear i'll bring you down in the game!Haha.Cannibalosis pork?!*giggles*
Serene: You never fail to be my side in school and any where else.Enjoyed your company that night while we sorted out both our problems together.Really glad that ive got a chance to know you better.Take care!:)
Alvin: I dont think you will get to read this but hey,nonetheless,thanks for all your advice!It helps,certainly:)
Sometimes, the uncertainty of what the coming new year may bring sparks fear in me.I would say i havent gotten over this entire episode totally,but look,im on my way to recovery.Haha.Ive managed to rekindle the flame for ballet in me as well.Great!:D
I will spend today wisely.Till later.
Friday, November 14, 2003
11:50 p.m.
Went to Sentosa today.Oh what can i say.My eyes feasted on practically nothing for there were no hunks around.Aww.HAHA!woops:P
Todays incident serves to further prove that his personality doesnt suit me at all.Yeah,like totally.I hope i wont have anything associated with him any longer.
Im going to be really bored at home.Maybe i could start preparing myself for the upcoming SAT.Alternatively i could let myself rot and get reduced to a miserable state and let failure overcome me.I'll have the choice.
Collected my ballet results this evening.I should say im really pleased:)Ive learnt a few new steps as well.Yup!A pretty enriching day.
Ive learnt to embrace life once again.
Thursday, November 13, 2003
11:42 p.m.
Finally,ive gotten enough courage to start writing again:)
Over these weeks,my mind was stuck in a whirlpool,i had sleepless nights,i lost my appetite (yes for food,dance,and every other things in life),and my heart could start beating abnormally at very strange times.The world looked so unfamiliar to me,just,all over a sudden.No,i didn't comtemplate suidide.Sorry,i wasnt brave enough then.
My identity has changed,from that very day.
For those who didnt know abt it,yes,i got retained.
----------------------------
Zhiyang-" This time,there will be no room for error,ok?"
Me-"Okae:)"
Thursday, November 13, 2003
12:32 a.m.
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
11:04 p.m.