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Just came back from SIM.Sat for a lecture with my sis.It sounded really boring to me(it was a lecture on history,duh:P),but i managed to entertain myself by scribbling nonsense on a piece of white rough paper.However boring it was,i still find it interesting for it was nice to attend a lecture with people from different walks of life.All right,i just noted that i look like a friend of my sis.Hello?Fine. I miss my classmates!I can understand how it is like to be forced to study in a school that you would rather not end up in.Everything about the school seemed so negative,and the resistance to adapt to the change in environment is so intense.I have been there before and well,you might know how i felt if you have read my past entries.Haha.But its thanks to some of my classmates cos they have certainly helped change my perception of the college im currently in now:)So girl,do give yrself and the school a chance.Im sure everything will be fine pretty soon:)
My brother is coming back on the 5th of April for a week.I dont welcome that because he might get ostracised by the Japanese when he gets back.SARS.-_-.Anyway,after one wk,he will be going back and a month later he will be back for good.Wohoho. I have a long shoplist for my bro.Haha,the problem is,he doesnt how to get cosmetics for his two sisters.Anw,he has this voucher thingy from Yodobashi(this Japanese electronic mart)that is worth 600 bucks.Yay. All right.Just realised i have bummed the entire morning away.I should stop wasting time like this. Kiroro's latest song is so sweet:)
 congratulations. you are the kiss my ass happy bunny. You don't care about anyone or anything. You must be so proud which happy bunny are you? brought to you by Quizilla
I managed to simmer down a lil after doing some serious reflections.Thank you people for leaving msgs for me in the guestbook.Really appreciated it:) Orientation 2 pales in comparision with Orientation 1.Sigh,the games aren't as great.Urm,no.Allow me to correct myself.The games were better but there wasnt much bonding within the og.Nobody cares as much.Life in a JC doesnt include socialising yea? Anyway,we played a really cool game this morning.I dont know what the game is called but it goes like this-the girls and the guys are supposed to pair up and then the entire grp forms a circle.Then a couple starts running and taps another couple.These 4 peeps start running and the first couple will have to get back into the circle.Well well,so me and this guy were called by Jasmine to be the ones to start and man,this guy can really run!-_-What can a person with short legs like me do?Haha.I almost fell down when we knocked into the second couple and it was so embarrassing!Okay but i bet everyone embarrass themselves like once in a while so its pretty okay.:T Anyway,i sort of felt inertia when we were running because i almost thought i got acquainted with a rocket.Woah;) And you know what?I miss you soo badly yesterday.I wish you can be here with me.
I became silent and walked into my room and SUDDENLY,my dad started blasting.!'"&$'$"($!'&##!`@[@"$)&')(%%!!COME OUT NOW AND SIT HERE!'.Dammit,i knew it was the end of the world for me.And so..round 2 begins with my mum saying that i should be understanding and discuss issues with them properly.Did they give me a chance to do so? My mum called up my sis and then my bro called.News spread like wildfire.'okay,if kor kor says okay,then its okay.':|Fine.whatever KOR KOR'S DECISION IS!!!Well,i am not here with the bloody you-love-your-son-more attitude,dont worry. I hate to discuss my future with them.Argh.In fact,im a girl with a rather traditional and conventional mindset.I just hope that in the future I will be successfully able to contribute to the family and provide some form of support for my husband.This has become what i want in life ever since i have acknowledge the fact that dancing is a definite no for me.I can only enjoy dancing,but it can never be the thing i will do in life. Its useless to keep telling myself that dreams are meant for pursuing.
Im here to update again when i feel that blogging is not a chore.Having ballet later!:)*Wheee!*.Sometimes i wonder when am I ever gonna stop dancing.Its been 11 yrs now.Wish i can marry a ballet dancer.Haha,i should stop having girly fantasties. Anw,my Dad is giving away the Luo Hans.I knew this would happen from the very day the first luo han came.How sad.All right at least now i should be able to get more attention frm my Dad.He should cease playing with them using mirrors! Thats abt it.Off to lose some water and burn some fats now.
Close your eyes,give me your hand.Darling,do you feel my heart beating?Do you understand?Do you feel the same?Or am I only dreaming?Is this burning an eternal flame? I believe it's meant to be,darling.I watch you when you're sleeping.You belong with me.Do you feel the same? Or am I only dreaming? *SIGH* This is such a sweet and lovely song:)
Jasmine is my OGF!!:)I think i will feel sooo comfortable with her.Hello Jas!(in case you are reading this) Anyway.Yeah,im staying in AJC.Good news?Rather.Haha. Grrr.Talked to ZEE for abt 5 mins and he gotta go.Havent really talked to him since the gruelling exams started.And now..grrr. Yes.I am mentally prepared for the new school term.Wish me luck everyone!:P Oh yea,have fun in school peeps!:)
Ive been splurging on unnecessary items.I should slap myself for saying something like-'woah,this costs only 5 dollars?thats cheap!',for the fact that I have not even tried to earn five bucks for myself.grrr. Anyway,today has been great afterall,despite the fact that i have again wasted $7.50 on a lousy movie.Grrrr again. Time whiz pass just like that.Amazing,and truly it is.And you know what?schs gonna reopen soon.This is so cool!im shivering! Can i be anywhere lamer.-_-
Term 2 begins next week.Im kinda looking forward to orientation 2.Now who's gonna join us?...I hope things will get better this time:) All right.Im feeling sleepy.Off to lala land.
Oh yes,haha please please people..please sign my guestbook...i think it has been under-utilised.seriously.:PHmm,or should i just try to fit the tagboard back in place?Haha nah just kidding.But anyway if you are my ex-classmate reading this please do sign it so that at least i know that you have been here?:) I am not going to school tomorrow.again.Why?For one simple reason though.My tutors have done almost all the tutorials for term one and i can foresee that the class will be doing almost nothing constructive tmr.Haha.So well,guess i might as well resume my role as a slacker at home. I feel that i have not,unfortunately,grown successfully attached to the school physically and emotionally yet.Maybe my class is right,i gotta believe in them.I gotta trust the college.Someday i will like the school that i intended to seek shelter in for 3 months.But will this happen?I don't know.
I can feel your body,when I'm lying in bed.There's too much confusion,going around through my head. I think i am weird these days.I snapped at 2 of my online friends because one of them thought i could have gotten 6 points and the other saying that aj is ranked 8th this year.No,i don't think im being defensive-I never am, or at least i think so. And it makes me so angry to know that the flame still burns.Why can't I get over?When will I ever learn? Sometimes i would like to shut my ears from what ppl are saying,the comments they make and all.Everytime i get the reaction like-Oh.Why dont you try for NJ?Im sure you can get in with ballet.I WISHED i had the capacity to get in.But i never had.Things are often beyond my control,the future never lies in my hands. Old love,leave me alone.Old love,go on home.I can see your face,but I know that it's not real.It's just an illusion caused by how I used to feel. I wonder how he's doing right now.Is he going to stay or is he leaving.I don't know.I dont have the courage to pick up my phone and dial his no,something that i used to do daily.I dont even want to message him on the cellphone simply because i fear the feeling of rejection.Im so sick of his empty promises... And it makes me so angry,to know that the flame will always burn.I'll never get over.I know now that I'll never learn...
Oh f off.
Sometimes, life is so unfair. I have long acknowledged this fact and im moving on.It's time to let go of everything and start anew.Ahh.I might be staying on in aj.So forget about those incessant ramblings and complaints!Haha. Going out for lunch with my friends later.I feel happy. Oh yes!i lost my favourite Kose eyebrow pencil that i bought frm Japan!This is infuriating!Bleah!Argh,maybe i will go look for it later.
Anyway,my grandmother passed away peacefully yesterday.Well we aint blood related,cos my dad was their adopted son.Guess i gtg now,it will be long day tmr. You know,its better if you leave things this way.You're trying too hard:T |
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