nwalmaer

Fifth Sunday of June--02

they'll take you...where you won't come back to me...
- - - - - - - - -
aaah. the sound of boredom. *listens closely* ...

what's happened lately? what's happened....what's....going on in jilltown? nothing really...nothing nothing...*fades*

"ever lost the will to live? who am i asking? nobody will read this----nobody cares. nobody cares enough to save me and nobody cares enough to even think about it."
ok so that was fun. and scrawled on a coffee-stained napkin tossed carelessly to the floor of my room. which reminds me of a funny thought. does it bug anyone else when someone says "floor" when refering to the GROUND outside? Saying ground inside is ok, but floor outside is so taboo it scares me.

spark? today, maybe.

- - - -Hilo

ps: bobby's gone. he left last saturday for kennewick...he doesn't even miss us. shithead.

later. when weepiness has diminished.

woo! we leave for new york in two days! ^^ damn grant wanting to do something on the 4th! i was like..AHH i'll be gone -.-....anyway...but I get to meet Bobby and Kristen at the airport! YAY! ^_____^ Kristen and I are SOO CRAZY FUN ^^

that was actually all i had to say for today XD....except that i love peanut butter! ^.^

- - -Hilo

doesn't matter
what i say
what you hear
doesn't matter
what i think
how you interpret
doesn't matter
what i feel
what you feel
will never matter

i'm sorry
for bringing this up
i'm sorry
for being who i am
i'm sorry
for these feelings
forgive me
i'm so naiive

ŠHilo [yes, me again. and don't ask, you won't get it. unless you do. and then you're either ...uh or...someone else. o_O]

Third Tuesday of June---'02 meh. i'll write later.

later...

Today was cool. But Friday was cooler. Let's go in order.

Friday:
WaWa "Final" at Jeepers Bagels. Took Bobby. Got jeered at by Mr. Aimone. o__O nothing new.
abducted the Bromileys.
went to B. Flo's party.
hung out with..peepols.
then I don't remember. sleep maybe?

Weekend:
I don't remember. Sleep, maybe? Hung out with..peepols. don't remember which ones, heh. The Bromileys? Bobby? Sonja? Sure. heh.
YESterday:
day camping! Brandon Bromiley, B(randon). Flo, M(arshall). Flo, T(homas AKA Bobby). Flo, Scott, Abe, Adam, and Travis and his girly. Bobby built a raft. it ruled. until we broke it with big, heavy rocks. Made an illegal fire. WOO GO ILLEGALITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!111. I told him not to. -___-;; Fell down. Hurt self. HAHAHAHAHHA, let's all laugh at the tard!
Hunt down Travis and his girly, invaded his front yard for an hour or so. Marshall beat the snot out of Bobby in boxing. We all laughed. For a long time. HAHAH! *points*
uhm, went up to Pecker's Point and sat and looked at Wenatchee without glasses. o_O There was also a big, light-filled boulder on Castle Rock. (it was really just a lght-colored rock)
Today:
slept!!! sleeping is GREAT.
woke up. sonja came over for like, 15 minutes then drove me to work.
hung out with bobbums, the bromileys, and sonja. drove around looking for things to do. acted like rabbits. (..o_O) et cetera...got donut holes. invaded tommy's (bobby's)house. etc. came home. o_O....

I M OUT-T! *glare*

---Hilo

Third Sunday of June---'02

BOO. Nothing going on currently. Birthday in three days! ^^ happy day in jill town! spark? never. XD.

HI BROOK WITH NO 'E'! (because Brooke is femmy)

~Hilo

ps:chili sucks.

Too Lazy To Give Proper Title! for all of you who follow my story, Reflective Malevolence, I just wrote a big portion--so if you want to see some, IM ME. snarf-face!

cool lyric time! (ty Lauren for the song! It rules!)

I still believe in your eyes
i just dont care what you've done with your life
baby i'll always be by your side
don't leave me waiting too long
please come by
i still believe in your eyes

...I'll fly with you...

-----

~Hilo

Third Sunday of February

Hey I made a short little 'About Me' up for downloads (it's a Word document, so it only takes a few seconds to download). It's h e r e. If you don't have Word, email me if you still really want to see it and I will email you a copy ^^

Feliz Día de San Valentín!

find me here
speak to me
i want to feel you
i need to hear you

you are the light
that is leading me
to the place where
i find peace again
you are the strength
that keeps me walking
you are the hope
that keeps me trusting

you are the life to my soul
you are my purpose
you are my everything

and how can i
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this

you calm the storms
you give me rest
you hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall
you still my heart
and you take my breath away

would you take me in
would you take me deeper now

'cause you're all i want
you're all i need
you are my everything
everything

Happy V-Day Everyone ^^v

('Everything' is Š2000 by Lifehouse ^^)

Second Monday of February--'02

*squee* today was a good day ^_^ people were being nice! and some boy told me my hair was pretty =D hee--"be flattered, i don't just HAND out compliments" -EJ, yeah we know, it's because you're a jackass, EJ O__o

blarg--but I'm really sleepy. Becker is on--i LOVE this show!

Too bad I'm all stressed about WaWa and our damn deadline that is 2 weeks overdue. GD it! A-dogg didn't bother to tell me that we needed CANDIDS for our four QUOTES. the ASS hole (Ass-dogg...*clever feelings*) so i get three f the four--and Grant is NEVER around where he usually is--he must have camera-vision...o_O and they moved the v-day dance because they're bastards--and we NEED those pictures for our dances layout >< so we're going to be 4 WEEKS behind deadline...i feel like KILLING myself. -__- and of course this will all be put upon MY shoulders because I'M section head. GRAR...

^^; ok...done griping for today =D

~*Ai, Hilo

I'm a shy, sensitive punk rocker, the most artistic of them all. I'm Kurt Cobain!
Click here to find out which Nirvana grunge rocker you are!

fuck the bolt people.

This is my eulogy. I'm done. I'm sick of all their shit.

--Hilo (i still love pinpin tho. only her. yay pinpin!)

Third Monday of January--'02

Aaahh! I saw A Beautiful Mind. It was SOOOOOO good! ^.^~~~~/ *steals Twin-face* I love Russel Crowe ^^ He did an AMAZING job! It was a real look into the mind of a Skitzophrenic---I could not DEAL. ><;;

You know what is cool? Slayers! ^^v
Gourry fans: BOO!
Zelgadis fans: Bunny!
Lina fans: Koala!
Amelia fans: wtf are you on?

I love Rezo's theme music too....XD! ooOoOOOooo!*scary sounding men*

so so so so....LOOK AT MY SIDE TABLE! woo!!

~*Ai, Hilo

NOOOOOOOOOO---NOT FINALS WEEK!!!!!!!! *WEEP*

Third Friday of January--'02

Dan being at school for over 15 hours in one day! DAN IT!! DAN ENERGY SUCKING EDIFICE FROM HEL!

*phew* anyway--our Anime club had a dance today--and as the VICE PREZ--I had to help set up after school. Then Sonja and I collected tickets--then had to stay until 1 or so clean-up. --;

Going to see A Beautiful Mind tomorrow...sugoiii! It looks SOO good and I love Russel Crow!

and SNL is confusing me ;_;

BATTLEBOTS IS COOL!

~*Ai, Hilo
YAY FOR CONTEMPT!

Third Thursday of January--'02

SUGOKU URESHIIIII!!! ^_________^ I am sooooo happpyyyy!!!

See, I am a pathetic fangirl. And as a pathetic fangirl I need fangirl merch. Yes. For the past two months I have been slobbering over ebay at the "I Love Ethan" Survivor T-shirts. I bid on *every* one. And *every* one ends up around 40-50$. WHICH is TERRIBLY expensive--even for my curly-haired, soccer player/millionaire/knitting expert ;D

Sooo--I get this email today. From one of the people I last bidded the shirt on. And my first thought is 'oh dear god. I did NOT bid over 8 dollars'. Well, come to find out--this person has seen all my PATHETIC EXCUSES FOR FANGIRL BIDS on EVERY goddan shirt--and TAKEN EXTREME PITY ON ME.

He offered me a SPARE "I Love Ethan" Shirt he had for my total bid of always eight dollars. ^___________________^!!!!!!!!!

On a lighter note--I got tested for HIV and got 20 bucks! WOO! GOOD DAY FOR ME!!!

~*Ai, Hilo

louise
it seemed a long time ago
louise
i'll always remember that day

i crawled on my knees
begging you to stay
you made me shiver louise
you made me quiver

now i do the strangest things
i think such lonely thoughts
forgetting all
just forgetting you
louise
anything at all
not to think of you
anything at all
don't deny it is not true
louise
i feel i am getting weaker
a life blue on gloomy waves
i feel i am diving deeper
into the darkest caves
there's nothing at all
to find a way

louise louise louise
my heart used to beat
now it only weeps
louise louise louise
uncared the city sleeps
i am twisted in the streets

i am shivering
into the strangest things
lonely thoughts and forgetting you louise
and you promised me
you told me
you told me empty lies
louise louise louise
(my only cord is not to adore/i have to stay/it is my only way)
louise leave me
leave me
no longer interfere
louise
louise

Š"Louise [Darkness]" Clan of Xymox

Gone

sixteen candles flicker on
your heart is broken on the floor
you can't replace
what you've never had
it's gone it's gone

thirty-eight poems all for him
you'll never see
what could have been
your heart is broken on the floor
it's gone it's gone

tell me a lie...any small lie
so that i can breathe again
in your absence i am vacant
god i'm broken without you
you're gone you're gone

Š2002 Hilo [yes, that is ME]

Filler!

put me down! put me down! ;_; i don't want to eat the foreign cheese!

snorff.

DAN YOU FOD! DAN YOU TO HEL, YOU PROFILE!

Mofo the Moogle

Second Monday of January--'02

I want to see LOTR again ;_; But maybe I'm just a pathetic fangirl ^^v

*squee!*

Well, today was uneventful. Spent night at Erin's. Got up at twelve. Watched more Slayers. Had cinnamon-rolls. Came home. Played on computer. Got RAM installed--doesn't work anyway because m computer is a stupid bastard.

Second Friday of January--'02

Well, here I am again. Another day I wasted--another perfectly good hunk of internet wasted by my pathetic nostalgia.

Saw LotR again. ichi...ni...san...shi...roku...roku...I'm not so pathetic! I could spend my money on other things. Or are my hard-earned dollars (earned by me asking for money from my parents) going to waste? I could go...donate it to starving kids. or people with AIDS. But most of the idiots did it to themselves. HEY, we don't need protection! We're all sluts anyway!

on a lighter note...I have a cool story! (*names, dates, and places all changed so this doesn't come back to bite me in the bum!)

* * *

Well, there is this boy in my *Swahili-ianclass named *Hanz. He's a really quiet, shy, smart boy...and I find him really cute--anyway--i've kinda liked him for a few *eons and I asked him to a *box social a few months ago...anyway--so today:

me, *Hanz, and one of *Hanz' kinda friend *Lionel have *58th per. *Swahili-ian together...and we sit like--across the room from eachother, and i was done with my test so I was reading and then *Lionel yells, "JILL---YOU LIKE *HANZ DONT YOU?"..."DON'T YOU?" and i kept ignoring him cause I was like "the hell?!" anyay, but he kept YELLING it and i look up and the entire class is looking at me...so i was like...bright red..and..i just go, "he's a nice person, ok?" and *Hanz is like, burying his head in his arms and people are STARING and *Lionel is just laughing and I'm on the verge of tears..and THEN...

*Lionel goes, "WILL YOU GO OUT WITH HIM?" and...oh god..i felt like snapping...because--he was just screwing with me of course...but i didn't know WHY because i haven't even really talked to *Hanz in like--3 months and so it must be obvious or he said something and was making fun of me--and idk..

even if he WAS just kidding--he..by chance...GUESSED...he had no right...and even if he maybe KNEW i did...he had no right

so....i have *108th period with *Lionel...

it's *YEARBOOK. we have a darkroom.

i asked him to go in the darkroom to look at some negatives we just got back...and so he does, and then i do. but it's like--you know..BLACK in there--so he doesnt know i'm in there...

so I punch him really hard wherever i hit--idk--somewhere soft--and then run out and lock him there!!

* * *

yeah well that's all--but just don't piss off girls on their periods! KAI?

I'm out ;p

~*Ai, Hilo

Take the What Will Your Result To This Quiz Be? Quiz
by

napoleonherself, if you are so inclined.

Second Thursday of January--'02

aaaahhh sugoi *^^* my FIRST entry and it's a GREAT one. As you might know--my favorite non-anime is Survivor. AAAAnd it ENDED tonight WITH my *favorite* character (Ethan Zohn of Lexington, MA...birthday Nov12..MARITAL STATUS BEING SINGLE ^^;;) WON! and *I* think it was because *I* as rooting for him all the way ^^; BUT--I am obbsessive when it comes to several men whom I adore...(you may or may not know who you are--muahaha...) ^ ^ so PLUY on you ;D

ANYWAY-MUCH MUCH thanks to REBECCA ^ ^ who made and set up this template; because *I*, Hilo, am a template tard! ^^; I LOVE YOU PINPIN!!! (i DID slave fo...an hour on the *rest* of the html so don't think I'm a complete loser ;p)

much sleepiness--much cool dreams and planets melting and blackholes and such....

~*AI, Hilo

PS: Never become my friend if you know how to use HTML or I will make you do everything for me ;p *gives Pinpin a million dollars and a pony*

I'm a shy, sensitive punk rocker, the most artistic of them all. I'm Kurt Cobain! Click here to find out which Nirvana grunge rocker you are!

I'm a shy, sensitive punk rocker, the most artistic of them all. I'm Kurt Cobain!
Click here to find out which Nirvana grunge rocker you are!