drone 8

What is it that bothers? Searching like Lara Croft. Truth. Sanity lies deep where opposites attracts most.
Disfigured.

Maimed

Crippled.

Meanings of which is converged. History is too vast. You'd have to put in a vaccuum to fully digest and understand what lies ahead. I've decided to write down all my fears. Confrontations are never easy. A battle of deteriorating hope with that shimmering white light fading into nothingness. Love and not prized possesions is the answer? Perhaps...

Infinite calamity

Distress signals

Turn to page 666



Thursday, July 3, 2003
03:55 a.m.

Dooo Waaap!!!

well I feel so broken I wanna go home...

Sunday, June 29, 2003
06:54 a.m.

beach boy

i know perfectly well I'm not where i should be
i've been very away, you've been patient with me
every time we break, up you bring your life to me
and after all i've done to you...
how can it be you still believe in me.

i tried to be more what you want me to be
but i can't help how i act when you're not here with me
i try hard to be strong but sometimes i left myself and
after i promise you so faithfully
you still belive in me...
i wanna cry...


Sunday, June 29, 2003
06:44 a.m.

lament of the robot

What is happiness? An aquaintance told me earlier to search deep in my heart. She said ignore that gnawing darkness. Search for the light she said that is deep in the vessels of my blood. She said to try 'cos without trying, I would never know. She claimed that she was once unhappy. She said that it is all from within. She said truth should be uncovered and that it is always there waiting to be uncovered.

Right....

Little that she knows that it is not within but which is of my surroundings. Little that she knows that that gnawing darkness is my only solace. Little that she knows that trying is just too tiring. Little did she knows that I was once happy when I was a child. Little did she knows that is not in the vessels of my blood but also in the vessels of everyones which answered the situation being what it is...as it is. Little in which she knows it that when truth is uncovered, sanity would be a prized possesion.

She said it was a pleasure talking.

Right...little that she knows...



Thursday, June 26, 2003
06:35 a.m.

trade everything

Well...Would you know how it is to feel?? It is not what you see but that you perceived...That nudge and pinch. I am willing to trade everything for 15....

I am loving you still. All of you...

Tuesday, June 24, 2003
04:38 a.m.

idiolism

Pathetic-ism. Is that even a word? If there was a word to describe it. I'd be the epitome. Why am not doing anything? I don't even know where to start. So please shut me up before I do anything stupid again. I'm just so bad at everything I do. Pathetic-ism. Pessimism? Irrelevan-ism.

Sunday, June 15, 2003
05:08 a.m.

ready, set, go!!

Every sane mind knows how cruel and beastly our already blackened path that we're already going thru is. Hurdles that never seem to end. A marathon that goes on and on...Did it ever occured to us that we chose how we wanted 'it' to be? We chose our every turns and our every blink. We see what we want to see and we feel what we want to feel. Perception is a game. It is up to you to perceive. We love what we chose to love. We hate what we chose to hate. Accumulation of thoughts. Did it occured that your thoughts was only what you would have thought at that very moment? Living is a game. No set standards. No set rules. Get in or get out. Hurt is only hurt when you want it to hit you. Thought is just a game and until you've figured it out then you'll know that you've won....My friends tell me to take it easy all the time, I'm lucky to have the friends that I have 'cos they care. So take it easy...all this is temporary anyway.

Saturday, June 14, 2003
06:56 a.m.

open yourself and say hello to a sinking heart

I shall pretend from now. I shall not say a word. I shall become the robot. I shall keep my distance. I shall not blame. I shall just work. I shall just deliver. I shall just erase. I shall just watch. I shall not think. I shall just sleep and wake and not feel.

Tuesday, June 10, 2003
03:40 a.m.

....

I am drained of all the Energons. Gee got me feeling sexy with his electro set at Phuture for Session's last Saturday. I thought I was making out with R2D2 on the dancefloor but the morning after told me it was someone else. Yes...you! The one who with the DKNY money clip. My girlfriend knows who you are!! Right smack in the middle of the dance floor. HAHAHAHA!! Well yeah...shocked a couple of headz and I think it's becoming a habit. Watermelon Martinis are as ever sweet. Much more guzzling's of Barons and Redbulls over the past 2 nights at a colleagues chalet. Barbecue chickens and more Barons. Don't ask about work. Skipped it cos my boss, I really think he's an asshole.

....
Does this even mean anything??
Gonna go JB again.
I wish my parents were rich....not filthy rich...just rich...
Somebody get me a PS2 cos I wanna play GTA 'Vice City'.


Thursday, June 5, 2003
05:03 a.m.

dead

it is dead...
it is dead...
my spirit is dead...
it is dead...



Friday, May 30, 2003
04:03 a.m.

classic noodlanding

" Not only do each of us own a Slayer record or two but we’ve all got some Amon Tobin and Autechre too. When we first started as a band we’d play in the chill-out room at various raves so that all the little glow-in-the-dark kids could trip out when they ran out of steam. We were a lot more old synthesizer-based back then. I can’t imagine doing that now. "

Charles Spearin
Do Make Say Think


Tuesday, May 27, 2003
05:31 a.m.

hated because of great qualities

Let me tell you this...

No one has the right to tell you what's good for you. No one can tell you in the face that smoking cigarettes is not good for your health cos it's not their health that you're endangering in the first place. No one has the right to change the way you think. No one has the right to tell you that the only way to eat your cereals is with milk. No one has the right to tell you that alcohol is bad for you but what they don't know is that it's healthy for your appetite. No one can tell you how much you should be earning and how much you should be saving in the bank. No one has the right to tell you how you should love. No one has the right to talk about the way you're treating your loved one cos they're not the ones loving them. No one has the right to correct your sense of style. It's you whose wearing those clothes not those idiots. No one has the right to tell you that love was meant to be singular. Love is for everyone. Love is all. No one has the right to tell you that your religion is wrong cos every religion leads to one true God. Every faith is as strong as yours. No one has the right to let you down. No one has the right to tell you that the end is near cos the end is near when you think it is. Life is infinite. It's how you make of it. No one has the right to say that life is miserable, 'cos it's theirs not yours. No one can tell you how ridiculous Bush is cos sometimes they're just as ridiculous themselves...No one can ever tell you how much you're worth cos you don't have a price tag on your forehead. No one can ever tell me how much I love...

this I am telling you...


Saturday, May 24, 2003
05:38 a.m.

day after tomorrow

Yeah, we won the Cup again. I wasn't in good form for the first 2 games. It was dangerously hot, I could've shriveled and died...Another friend is getting married. I didn't get the SMRT job. I've got work tomorrow and I'm broke. Heh! What else is new...


Monday, May 19, 2003
12:29 a.m.

white light of

Change is inevitable. It happens even if you said no to it. That option is invalid. Envy and shame. It's in you. It's just you. This time round, don't run, walk instead. You'll see the ground turn from red to green, black to grey. No point saying you're happy when you're not. It's OK, it's OK to lie to yourself. 'Cos it's yourself that you're hurting and it's so often that it happens. Forget about what keeps you moving 'cos you're not going anywhere, not now. It won't be tomorrow and it won't be later that the inevitable will take place. Crack the codes 'cos then it'll happen. All your plans, the preparations you've been taking. All those which once were so untrue. Has it meant anything now?

Each was hateful to the other alive.
The horrible monster endured a wound:
the bone-locks of his shoulder gave way,
and his sinews sprang out.


Saturday, May 17, 2003
04:51 a.m.

Magick

Gods and Giants,
Light and Darkness,
Life and Death.

Inbetween Myths and Legends...

Thursday, May 15, 2003
07:58 a.m.

OxD Cha Cha

I'm starting to love snapping candid pics. It's so fun! Capturing the moment. Whatever that is...Caught OxD at NUS. It was a clean fun Saturday, no beers involved. Just Chili Cha Cha's and pineapple drinks. I snapped some great shots of OxD, I think. What the heck...it was just out of fun. OxD was excellent tho Matsy's guitar for the intro was abit off. No Thanx to the organizers for cutting OxD's set. It happens all the time ain't it? What's wrong with these people? If it wasn't for those cute underage smoking Ska Kid's, the whole atmosphere could've been pretty boring. Hahah!!

Sunday, May 11, 2003
06:05 p.m.

selfhelp

I got a book from a regular customer at my store. It's called 'You Can Be Happy No Matter What'. Heh...It's a self help book. I dunno...she's a nice lady, a really nice one. She's a financier but she's like a serial killer profiler. She can tell the sort you are just by looking at your handwritings and tell you the state of mind you're in just by looking deep in your eyes. Freaky as it can be, I was one of her subjects of analysis(besides some of my other colleagues). Erm...well, she sure knows what she's doing. I hate self-help books but I was touched that she went to 2 bookshops before finally getting it(which she had to travel quite a distance despite her limping). There was a 5 page letter along with the book, something she wrote...some words of encouragement not forgetting her past miseries. She said to give a shot. If it helps...it helps.

Friday, May 9, 2003
03:44 p.m.

it's been a while

OK...I really don't know what to write on. Seriously. A clearing mental block only to be relieved by another...but this one is feeling rather good 'cos I've forgotten how it feels. Work's gonna be fun. It'll be wicked. Aki's gonna do another Smirnoff Party. It'll be at Velvet again I guess.... I got so drunk the last time. Guess... I'll have to pass this time. I can't go 'cos I've got work...but hey! At least I know I'll be alright staying home. Kitty's working too... I guess... The band will be having its first jamming session next Monday. They're still figuring out a concept. Maybe an 'open concept' is more like it. Haha!! Whatever that means...

Thursday, May 8, 2003
02:42 p.m.

fossil fuel

I should be sleeping by now but hey!.... Not til the final touches are looked upon. Listening to Takagi Masakatsu on the way to work was delighting. Light on both the ears and on the heart. I was happy basically but the feeling shortlived by an old Chinese couple arguing over money and from what I was told by a colleague, over the future of their children. The row somewhat gave me flashbacks but I guess my sentiments for my past has been vacuumed and buried deep down to be turned into fossil fuel that will be used as an energy source for many years to come(I hope). The work place has been turned into a brothel with a pimp for a manager. I hope to get the SMRT job but for now I'll just lay in silence, watching as the crap shifts. Hung out at a coffeeshop with some work mates whom I trust and somehow treasure. We bitched 'bout the goat who fancies hugs and kisses. We laughed and spit at the eye of the idiotic slut who thinks she can get her way in life by throwing herself at shrivelled men with mouths of wifes and children to feed. We were sad and laid sullen eyes on the demise of truth and basic morals. At one point, Snowboarding on a Nokia phone was the one thing that seemed uncurved.

Kitty...Do not worry my Sunshine...Everything will be just fine. Remember the taxi driver? *kiss*

Well, new layout uploaded. For those using dial-up like me will experience a longer waiting time for the loop to be heard. Til next time...

Tuesday, May 6, 2003
04:36 a.m.