taedium vitae
To stab youth with desperate knives, to wear
This paltry age's gaudy livery,
To let each base hand filch my treasury,
To mesh my soul within a woman's hair,
And be mere Fortune's lackeyed groom-I swear
I love it not! these things are less to me
Than the thin foam that frets upon the sea,
Less than the thistledown of summer air
Which hath no seed: better to stand aloof
Far from these slanderous fools who mock my life
Knowing me not, better the lowliest roof
Fit for the meanest hind to sojourn in,
Than to go back to that hoarse cave to strife
Where my white soul first kissed the mouth of sin.
- Oscar Wilde
Friday, August 1, 2003
03:47 a.m.
low
Sleep's been fucked. Dreams are getting weirder.
Thursday, July 31, 2003
09:41 a.m.
global chillage
I can't possibly write happy things cos I don't know how to. I've wrapped myself in a bubble of endless despair and cynicism is my only humour. I don't wanna lie anymore...not to myself nor anyone cos from experience it'll only sink me to depths where it'll make 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea look like a wading pool. Bluntness is a virtue for only the brave and as a song by Pram...it says Only the truly brave can be the astronaut. The past is something that shouldn't be forgotten cos that's what histories are made of and blueprints for the future are planned. If you notice...I don't link to any other blogs except my girlfriend and a good friend cos delights of the rest of the blogging world doesn't nudge my curiosity. Besides, they(not all) talk rubbish all the time... Was reading Ultra Red's essay on Globalism and The International Ambient Culture...Musical-Political agendas...It's interesting how noises revolutionizes perspectives and its effect on mankind's thoughts of its surroundings. How sound collages acts as a medium for protests and is a counterculture. I'm not talking about punk or grindcore...but just sounds. How environments are recreated to simulate an event. I find that the Queer scene has much to say than just sex. Comatonse Recording's, which is owned by Terre Themlitz don't charge postage for any orders throughout the world which I find simply amazing! Hmmm....I have to go check on the kids now...don't tell me to try and be happy...cos I am...It's just not as yours...Oh...and what the hell is Vorticism?!
I am a filter
- Tetsu Inoue
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
03:36 p.m.
diminished
Raised from the ashes only to be binded. Thoughts that are contradicting. Predictable. What have I done? Those self help books worked somehow or rather...
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
03:10 a.m.
lord of the dance
today wasn't a good day for discussionsdebates. Clarifications sometimes works...
not all the time...As what's the ground rule is...a promise is a promise...Buying Dad beer wasn't really a good choice...I would've expected 'it' to happen...but not today...not fucking today...
Dwelling in the past IS somehow a place of comfort. Outcomes of these references seemed quite fitting.
Saturday, July 26, 2003
02:41 a.m.
underneath october skies
OxD is gonna make those Malaysian kids kill themselves. They're gonna make them bleed. I'm doing another remix for OxD. The remix I did for Sex On The Merry Go Round is on their latest Ep. Chek it.
Thursday, July 24, 2003
02:40 a.m.
i think therefore i ambient
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
03:17 a.m.
this ambient world
we shall immense. silence is the new noise.
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
04:21 a.m.
throwing tinder
Probability and multiple outcomes . Weigh out your thoughts and actions. Don't even think of anything to say. The Gloria Record 's a good band tho I don't really like them. It's a preference thing.
Monday, July 21, 2003
02:52 a.m.
granular backfeed
de-construction in progress
de-construction in progress
de-construction in progress
de-construction in progress
de-construction in progress
de-construction in progress
de-construction in progress
de-construction in progress
de-construction in progress
de-construction in progress
de-construction in progress
de-construction in progress
Friday, July 18, 2003
04:41 a.m.
maru the winter white
She kept me company on late lonely nights. On those hazy nights when I was like her, grinding my teeth trying to find myself. I'd put her in a ball and see her run around. I'd hold her in my palms and see her groom. She makes me wonder and makes me laugh. Jittery. Always curious of what's going on outside. She greets me everytime I come home. She was the cutest thing that I ever had. Most curious thing I've ever had. The smallest of all the things I've ever had. I knew it'll be a beautiful day today. I woke up with the weather greeting with a smile. Rain tells us that we'all blessed. I knew I was blessed. I know we're all blessed. My Mum cooked some dishes which I had been craving for for the past weeks. It's all so perfect. I had plans for the evening. The weather's great. My Mum cooked a favourite dish, it was going to be a beautiful day....and on this beautiful rainy day...Maru passed on.
Saturday, July 12, 2003
05:47 p.m.
wandering in a feedback loop, fading into nothingness
I died.
I could have been the first.
Thursday, July 10, 2003
03:54 a.m.
romancing the devil
I've vowed never to write about hate nor resentments towards anyone in particular. I don't really see the need to care much about the 'scene' nor the people in it. People I know and see but never said 'Hi!' to. I am happy with the circle of friends that I have. Blessed I am to have friends who can think maturely. Doing your own thing is as good as it can get but as everyone knows...this world is not rid of scums. Unfortunately....I have been the subject of a vicious rumour monger whom I guessed swore upon its sorry life to personally see my downfall. I didn't see this coming again for the last attack severed my fucking relationship with a relative that I used to be so close with. Need I tell the world of this imbecile's other misdeeds? I seriously feel it'll make me no better than this 'shit for brains' reject. I feel for your sorry little life. I shall pray for your safety like your mother prayed for yours...God Bless...
Monday, July 7, 2003
04:26 a.m.
