it's ok really

your patience is very much appreciated. the dunce will stand on the chair at the back of the classroom now. you can start the guilt trip routine and make fun of him while you're at it.

Friday, February 4, 2005
02:43 p.m.

better than bleeding

grey skies looming over and by night time, stars collide shining brighter than embryonic hopes and dreams. a premature ejaculation. answers to which drastic options to be taken into consideration. why do i fear? the cynical analysis, the inevitable negative factor. the annual tension report. history repeats in blood.

and your heart breaks,
tonight or another night.
red handed and planning,
so smooth operations.
like a drive by but better than that
this quaking car crash.
no danger...
gets lighter...
since you've been stitched up.
so smile and say and wave...
goodbye.
all at the same time.
clearly recommended rest...
no days
no days
only seasons better than bleeding
no welcoming
better than bleeding
no helping
no danger
no welcoming
better than bleeding so smile and say and wave goodbye... goodbye....
all at the same sime.

listen : l'altra - bring on happiness

Friday, February 4, 2005
03:13 a.m.

dubnoheadbreakyourbackargh!

c'mon let's break our backs while dancing to drum and bass. shit. i couldn't make it out alive. i think its time to forget about dancing all night and learn how to nod my head in a more updated sequence. the place was filled with cigarette smoke and warm. it's only coming to 25...things should only be warming up now init? shit.

listen : CPU hum, birds and the tai qi group's breathing sequence....

Saturday, January 29, 2005
08:04 a.m.

count to six

sometimes, you slump instantly or probably slow down for awhile cos on occasions you'd run so fast never considering the things you are trying to run with. you sleep and eat thinking of the prize at the end of it tho it has been made clear of what awaits. something would appear from nowhere of things forgotten and you'd start back again thinking of what you could've possibly missed. you wonder then you'd try and sleep again. i dreamt of monsters again.
i don't know when i'm revamping this page, i'm beginning to like the emptiness.

listen : .tape. + the uberkids - dream machine lullabye

Friday, January 28, 2005
05:37 a.m.

home is where the heart is

Take me out tonight
Where there's music and there's people
And they're young and alive
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one
Anymore....

Take me out tonight
Because I want to see people and I
Want to see life
Driving in your car
Oh, please don't drop me home
Because it's not my home, it's their
Home, and I'm welcome no more

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

Take me out tonight
Take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
And in the darkened underpass
I thought Oh God, my chance has come at last
(But then a strange fear gripped me and I Just couldn't ask)

Take me out tonight
Oh, take me anywhere, I don't care
I don't care, I don't care
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven't got one, da ...
Oh, I haven't got one

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

Oh, There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out....
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out,
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out,
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out,
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out,
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out,
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out,
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out,
There Is A Light And It Never Goes Out.

listen : schneider tm - there is a light that never goes out (the smith 'the light 3000' cover)

Monday, December 27, 2004
05:40 a.m.

i, beast and the pilot astray

don't ask me questions. my mind is off some place far away at the moment. 2004 is coming to an end. 2005 is creeping in...slowly...unexpectingly. it's amazing how an event that happens to you in a matter of days can truly change habits cultivated for years. perhaps for good, perhaps temporarily. i dreamt of things earlier in the afternoon i couldn't recall....but there was my aunt. me brother gave me a good luck charm. he said to put it under my pillow when i sleep. the past nites have been hell. i shook in fear. i cried out loud but all there was, was silence...i am not in the mood for anything now. hanging out with friends would do good. it's always good. guilty and glad. i am loved still. He and His are the ships sailing through the seas, lofty as mountains.

Thursday, December 23, 2004
01:49 a.m.

worried and sorry

worried and sorry
is God so bad?
and i've got friends
we use to use to have
lover will you come to me?
brother will you comfort me?
lover will you come with me
'cos i feel so worried and sorry
i also feel glad...
but now i have friends
and the gift of gift
lover will you come to me?
brother will you comfort me?
lover will come with me?
'cos i feel so bad
hurry now darling
day's fading fast
and this nite if nothing's meant to last
lover will you come to me?
brother will you comfort me?
lover will come with me?
'cos i feel so bad...

listen : josephine foster and the supposed - worried and sorry

Monday, December 20, 2004
09:40 p.m.

love is a minefield

Your eyes are just like black spiders
Your hair and dress in ribbons. Babycakes
In despair or incoherent. Nothing in between
China white, my bride tonight
Smiling on the tiles

Bring that minute back
We never get so close as when the sunward flight begins

I share it all with you
Powder blue
Stumble through the crowds together
They're trying to ignore us. That's o.k.
I'm proud to be the one you hold when the shakes begin

Sallow skinned, starry eyed, blessed
In our sin
Bring that minute back
We never get so close to death
Makes you so alive
I share it all with you
Powder blue


listen : Elbow - Powder Blue

Wednesday, December 15, 2004
11:37 p.m.

captive

my horoscope says that just when i thought that i've got everything in perferct order, things are fucking up...just when i thought that everything is going to be like how it use to but i'm proven wrong and even much patience is required.

Wednesday, December 1, 2004
12:27 a.m.

bound

i am sound and sound is me.
sound is found and i am found
found sound on the ground
found on the sound ground
ground is found in sound
found ground is sound
found ground in sound.

Saturday, November 20, 2004
01:57 a.m.

today is not for me

it happens sometimes. people go about on their daily lives and have so much fun or workload at some point that they ain't got the time to remember to give you a call or think that you might be waiting for them to call. you're waiting cos you've called them asking on how they were doing but they just seem to be occupied and it doesn't matter now cos you're occupied too and these things happens and this isn't the only thing that bugged you today.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004
11:16 p.m.

flying on the ground (is wrong)

Is my world not falling down
I'm in pieces on the ground
And my eyes aren't open
And I'm standing on my knees
But if crying and holding on
And flying on the ground is wrong
Then I'm sorry to let you down
But you're from my side of town
And I miss you
Turn me up or turn me down
Turn me off or turn me round
I wish I could have met you in a place
Where we both belong
But if crying and holding on
And flying on the ground is wrong
Then I'm sorry to let you down
But you're from my side of town
And I miss you
Sometimes I feel like I'm just a helpless child
Sometimes I feel like a kid
But baby, since I have changed
I can't take nothing home
City lights at a country fair
Never shine but always glare
If I'm bright enough to see you
You're just too dark to care
But if crying and holding on
And flying on the ground is wrong
Then I'm sorry to let you down
But you're from my side of town
And I miss you

listen : buffalo springfield - flying on the ground (is wrong)

Friday, November 12, 2004
09:09 a.m.

i don't wanna vote for your president

it was a call from my uncle asking for my aunts cell fone number. it's kinda rare but i kinda skipped across the living room to the telefone book and rushed back into my room. a call to mum and asking her whereabouts and there...a sense of satisfaction i can't really comprehend. it happens now and then when it comes to family matters. is there something that i might have overlooked? i don't feel a need to go out today but we shall see. i had dreams of cult murders and was a witness somehow hovering over scenes of satanic rituals and terrified children with capabilities beyond imagination. houses in the country and fields. it seemed like a book i read while i was in ITE. i was into the occult then but why now? and the talk of memory...coded signals. no?

listen : galaxie 500 - tugboat

Saturday, November 6, 2004
05:30 p.m.

sharingan


Which Naruto Character are You?
quiz by orangeday.net

Tuesday, November 2, 2004
06:29 a.m.

2 rights make 1 wrong

i can't seem to hold anything nor everything together for it breaks everytime and there you are always, glueing the pieces. i don't have the words to say but you knew. i love you from the darkness that dwells in me, the darkness you never knew. don't chew, just swallow whole. i love you like the waves that breaks on the shores of these emptiness that you fill with your every breath and if the constellations are not on our side, there's always the fading photographs of yesteryears. don't stop 'til the day i die and when it rains, think of the times, think of me and when night falls on the saddest and coldest of days, look up to the skies and wish on the brightest star and whisper my name and i promise you...i will be there...always and forever.

listen : lamb - gorecki

Wednesday, October 27, 2004
11:58 a.m.

milk and honey

i am on de-tox. so fuck you.

Wednesday, October 27, 2004
11:27 a.m.

glowing rock, melting bones

i was walking, walking home after a tiring day smiling at idiots while wishing them to have a nice day while they savour their ridiculously priced beverages when i really wished that they'd choke on it and spastically throw up and die wriggling on the floor while the rest of them brainless breeders just gasp with a horrific ugliness that represents them at their very best. i look up to the sky and whispered to whoever there was that i would love to be up there looking down shedding bloodied tears to the place and people i hold so dear yet fantasizing of its destruction that would somehow end what begun as a dream for the impossible.

Saturday, September 25, 2004
06:31 p.m.

confusion is nothing new

confusion is nothing new and when it lands a hold of you it'll tear away the things that come to you. don't be afraid i've lost my ways or two. tomorrow, you could start anew unless hopefulness has lost its way with you.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004
01:48 a.m.

3 times daily, after food

i dreamt of a comfort zone then i woke up. sometimes, being sincere and truthful might just land you in a situation where you're the subject in question. being yourself means you're either ignorant or trying too hard to be different. those times that you thought that you're alone gnaws harder with its teeth sinking even deeper leaving scars from wounds that has bled you dry. premonitions of prophecies in binaries from an open source with broken links from the past with no command lines. as humans, we are expected to give more than what we can afford in a lifetime and typing this rubbish has wasted 30 minutes when its insignificance is very much evident and clinically proven. like the dead, silence is the only thing that shares a similarity.

Monday, September 20, 2004
01:12 a.m.

ecstasy

I like the stars in the sky
And watch the moonlight go by
I've got a lot of friends
And they've got beautiful eyes
That make my heart feel surprised
And you notice it
And that's the truth
That's the truth

listen: chemical bros feat. hope sandoval - asleep from day

Wednesday, September 8, 2004
12:35 a.m.

inosan

like the sound my eyes could taste. i am merely wandering in between the stars and the sun. the heartbeat that never were. the acceleration that is wisdom at standstill. echoes that purrs on induced silence. we whisper truths of hope but hope feels so unfounded...yet we sleep through another day faced with a stark future with hopes that hopes of mere hope.

listen : ekkehard ehlers plays john cassavetes

Saturday, September 4, 2004
09:50 p.m.

permutations


per·mu·ta·tions.
n. often major or fundamental change based primarily on rearrangement of existent elements

PAUL
CASTRO
XZEZ
AKIRA

Date: 11.09.2004 Saturday
Venue: MadMonks @ Riverside Walk (opp. Boat Quay)
Time: 10pm till late
Entry: inclusive of 1 drink (at the door)

mail us at six40west@yahoo.com.sg for guestlist slots


Friday, September 3, 2004
02:10 p.m.

crack

" nothing is perfect,
anything is possible...
in between lies the beauty. "


Thursday, September 2, 2004
12:02 a.m.

hole

it has been weird. i grabbed on the horizon and it slipped. sometimes you don't know if the life you're living is the real life and whether you're a hoax and a ploy. where is he in the picture? was he ever gonna be a part of it?

Sunday, August 29, 2004
12:59 p.m.

galapagos

when i disappeared,
i'll go to a place of memories.
when i get there,
they'll say...
"go slow and patiently,
you've arrived your own way...
go quiet and patiently,
you'll arrive now go away..."

then all i knew was now gone.
welcome to new version off
when i reappeared,
i was in a place...
it was the sea.
now i swim not run,
my words replaced
with sound and tone.
fins were now,
my skin and bones.

then all i knew was now gone...
welcome to new version of...


Friday, August 27, 2004
01:02 a.m.

rest

test

Sunday, August 15, 2004
10:31 p.m.