Ok, I'm Sable, and this is my life...
New Entry: 9/28/00
Al Gore
The American Ruse
Yes, yes, yes! I will be helping the Democratic Party out on Saturday, calling people and such. I am very excited about this. I feel like turning on some MC5 and kickin' out some jams, baby!
Today was a pretty good day. Nora (a classmate of mine in my period 1B Math class) and I worked on a math assignment together. In period 2, I did a good report on Michael Jordan (I will go apeshit if I get this thing back asking to re-do it). In TA, we had to go to the gym cause there's this volleyball tournament that most of the people in my TA wanted to do (except for me, Val, and Sven). That wasn't so much fun, I just sat in the bleachers and read and wrote in my TA journal. In period 4A (which - for those who may not/don't know, is Infant Lab), I changed Ce'sar and Jesenia's (aka "The Divine Miss J", "Beautiful Girl") diapers. Ce'sar had gotten some shots, and we had to take his temperature, and he began to cry. I hate to see the little boy cry. I will say, he doesn't cry much. I also put "The Divine Miss J" to sleep. After 4A was over, I visited the toddler room to see my boy Ernesto, my boy Elijah wasn't there today. Ernie is so adorable. He is just the most adorable little boy. So is Elijah, and Ce'sar. In 4B (my Forensic - or "Criminalistics" - class), we had a test. I think [and hope] I did good on it.
After school, I went for a walk. Just thought about things. It was a pretty decent walk, nothing too big, though. I like to walk. It's good for the soul, it's fun, and it's good for your health.
Eddie hasn't called yet. But when he does, I'm going to tell him. I know, it's shitty to tell someone over the phone, but I really don't want to see him. sable
I Don't Wanna be With You
9/27/00
I guess I'm not ready for a relationship. Or maybe I just don't want one with Eddie. *sigh* I'm not as attracted to him as I thought I was. A moment of confusion? Yeah.
It's just, every time I think of him, I only see him as a friend, and I wouldn't mind having him as a friend. However, thinking of him as my boyfriend, I...well...I cringe. I mean, I don't have any feelings for him. Not those kind of feelings. I wouldn't mind being his friend, but I do mind being his girlfriend.
He is cute, in his own weasly way - but not in the weasly way I want. (Look at the guy with Wayne and an arrow pointing to him.)
Yeah, I realize I can't get a guy exactly like Wayne Kramer, but you know, maybe that's what I have as a standard, per say. (Along with Iggy Pop.) It probably isn't good to have your standards set on that of a rock star, but I'm young, you know, and I'd like to get as close as I can.
This all sounds completely shallow, and makes me look like a bitch, I realize this, but it's the truth. And there's no click, no spark. I don't feel anything except friendship towards him, and it would be wrong to lead him to think differently.
Even if I do stay with him to "give him a chance", it would be short term. He will not be coming with me to Ann Arbor. I'm going there alone. I've decided that I am not going to bring any "Kenosha baggage" (meaning people - relationship-y) with me. I'm going there by myself, cause I know deep inside that Eddie is not my future, someone else is, and he's in Ann Arbor. (Or at least I hope he is, ha ha ha. Detroit, perhaps?)
So I'm gonna tell Eddie we can only be friends. It's better that way, you know. sable
Hey Little Girl, I Wanna be Your Boyfriend...
9/24/00
SCORE!! I have a boyfriend. *smiles wildly* I'm so happy. His name is Eddie. *blush*
I've known him since I was in 10th grade, and he asked me out then, but I didn't want to go out with him cause he had a shaved head, and I thought of him more as a friend. I know it does make me sound shallow, but I was really picky back then.
So, I see him again today at Grand Central (a local specialty shop that sells bootleg CDs and whatnot in my town), right? And he's lookin' fine as hell. I mean, I wanna hump him, you know what I'm saying? (We haven't done any of that though - and we won't for a while.) He recognizes me first. He says, "Do you remember me?" And I was like, "You look familiar, but I can't remember your name." Then he was like, "I'm Eddie, remember me now?" I was like, "Eddie? Yeah! Blah blah blah..."
We get talking, and I tell him that I am in search of Nirvana's Outcesticide 3. He thought maybe this other store, Crossroads, would have it. So, I'm like, "You wanna come with me?" So he's like, "Sure, why not." So we hop in The Clash City Rocker (my car formerly known as "Iggy" - I renamed it "The Clash City Rocker"), and go over there. No luck. However, I picked up a used copy of "Incesticide", because my copy was skipping and fucking up, and I really like that CD.
We go back to my house, talk, find out we have a lot in common when it comes to many things: mainly music. Then his sister, Krystal, calls and we decide to go down near the KYF and hang with her and some friends.
We go down there, hang out, I meet Krystal, and she is all sorts of cool. So are his and her friends. Like them a lot, and we hit it off immediately.
Then, we go for a little walk, and that's when we confirm that we're an item and all, and when we got back, we announced our union, and everyone was very happy for us.
After that, I had to go, cause I had to meet up with my Grandma to go out to eat for dinner.
So yeah, I'm really happy about this. sable
The Man's Dress
9/20/00
Here's a funny story I read in Please Kill Me...
Iggy Pop: I think when Ray Manzarek [keyboardist of The Doors, produced L.A.'s punk band, X] got me out of jail was when I was hanging out in Hollywood. It was after I'd been kicked out of heaven, and I was living with prostitutes. One day I was hanging out, drinking wine, and this girl had this dress I really liked. I thought she looked cool in it. So she dressed me up in it.
I went walking down Santa Monica Boulevard in this green shift dress with a tight cummerbund on it, the bottle of Ripple wine in my hand, right? It was actually the Ripple wine I got pulled over for, not the dress. They took me to the caboose and they sort of teased me about it, but I can't remember the details of my every incarceration.
Ray Manzarek: Danny Sugarman called me and said, "Man, your lead singer is in jail."
I said, "Oh no, now what?"
He said, "Iggy's in the Hollywood jail."
I said, "What's he in jail for?"
Danny said, "I don't know, something about drunk and disorderly."
Actually, it should have been called 'lude and disorderly.
What had happened was, Iggy came down from San Francisco, and when I say came down, he was down. So they put him in jail. We go to the police station: "How much is bail?" Bail was only like a hundred bucks, hundred and fifty bucks. "Ok, boom, here's the money. Can you let the man out?" And fifteen, twenty minutes later, out comes this weaving, wavering, staggering James "Iggy Pop" Osterberg, wearing a dress at the Hollywood station. A full-length dress. I looked at him and said, "Jim, is that a woman's dress?"
And Iggy said, "No, Ray, I beg to differ. This is a man's dress."
Danny and I grabbed him and said, "You asshole, c'mon, let's get the hell out of here." And you could hear the cops kind of smirking and kind of guffawing and stifling laughs and shaking their heads as out go Sugarman and Manzarek, with Iggy Pop in the middle. Out we go, out to my car, back to Wonderland Avenue.
Just thought everyone would get some joy from that. sable
Rock, Rock, Rock 'N' Roll Highschool
9/20/00
Today was a half day at school. Very happy about this. I like half days - half days are good. I took a "mental health" day in my period 2 AIS class. The person who corrects them sent my report on Joe DiMaggio back for what seems the millionth time. If anyone knows his height and weight, please e-mail me, I would greatly appreciate it. I don't know why the nit-picking bitch won't just take my goddamn paper the way it is. Mark me off if you have to, but it's really beginning to piss me off. The bigger things I can understand, but for crying out loud, get a fucking life and just mark me off for the little things. GOD.
Anyhow...
Yeah, so I was all pissed off about getting the Joe DiMaggio paper back yesterday, so I took a day off. She also said I couldn't do two people from the same sport, so she must be pretty stupid to have wasted her time nit-picking at my paper on Joe DiMaggio, cause I already turned one in on Jackie Robinson. I wish Ron (my period 2 AIS teacher - who doesn't correct the papers, he's just there to help and write library passes - he's really an English teacher) corrected the papers, cause he's a lot cooler than that cunt whore.
After school let out, I went up to Racine and picked up my copy of Rock 'N' Roll Highschool from Suncoast. I also went to McDonald's. I blasted the Ramones all around town today.
Hey, sorry if I don't make an entry everyday like I used to. Sometimes it gets a bit difficult because with school and all... I don't ever have homework, but it's just I'm all worn out from school... sable
Easter (La Resurrection)
9/18/00
Today was my Grandpa's funeral. I do not want to go into detail. Except that I spoke at his funeral. Shared a memory I am quite fond of, and I read a poem that I got from the sleeve of the Patti Smith Group album, "Easter". I will share that with you...
EASTER (la resurrection)
Flower and heart are equal. As one unfolds, the other is closing. The fist of charm. The dance of fathoms. Of voids. Of veils. Layer after layer. Wall after wall. There is always more. There is always more after.
The scalloped edges of further valor. The vigil of soldiers. Foot and circular. The waving tremors of empty warriors. A thorn in the wound of love. Of torture. Another immesurable pain to suffer.
First dealing with entry into the spirit. The wall is pierced, and the will assaulted is vaulted. Is shimmied into. Is fenced. Fencing defending the sheets of flesh winding and binding and then to relax.
Seconds of suspension in the pass of pain wailing, exhaling. Passed through the strange. This is the formula. The force of the father. The hand that extends. The heart that is bleeding hard then harder, then silent and beating.
In a space warm and glowing. Infinite, yet dense. The tune of chain caught then stretched. This is the communication of the future. Death is a dance. A ballroom. A glove an extension of total abandon in love.
In loving memory of my Grandfather.
1931 - 2000
I would have posted the obituary, but that is too long, and too personal. sable
Hey, Hey, Good-Bye...
9/15/00
*sigh* On Thursday, September 14, 2000 at 5 pm, my grandfather died. But now he's in a better place, and is no longer suffering. (Though the form of Cancer he had - a brain tumor - is one of the few Cancers that does not cause pain.)
I was walking, and I had a feeling that he wasn't going to make it to Friday. There was a slight rain - it wasn't a mist, but it wasn't a down pour. The sun was shining. Somehow that told me that he was no longer with us, along with the feeling I had.
I didn't go to school today. It would have been too hard. I slept with my grandma last night. She's staying at our house, and she sleeping in my mom's bed, and she wanted me to sleep with her, so I did. But I woke up at 4:20 am and went to my own bed.
My mom is finally talking to my Uncle Tom. They haven't spoken to each other in 15/16 years. They had a fall-out a long time ago, and my mother refused to see or speak to him. But she put the past behind her, and she forgave him. I am thankful for that, cause it was something I always wanted her to do - forgive my Uncle Tom.
It's a bit unfortunate that it takes an event like this to pull them together. *sigh*
sable
P.S. - Here are some pictures of some family members...
Grandpa - This is the Grandpa I've always known, and the one that just passed away.
Biological Grandpa - This is my biological grandpa, he passed away in 1974. I never got to meet him.
Grandma - This is my Grandma when she was 17. That is my Uncle Bobby when he was a baby.
Mom - This is my mom when she was younger. She said she was in 9th grade when this picture was taken. I love her hair.
Uncle Tom - This is my Uncle Tom in 1965, when he joined the Navy.
It is Complete Now, Two Ends of Time Are Neatly Tied...
9/12/00
I didn't go to school today. I was way too upset. This morning I woke up and was running late, I was just getting out of the shower when my mom came home. She told me that my grandfather was in a coma now, and that the tumor had reached his brain stem. She also told me that his body was beginning to shut down, because the water they were putting into him through an IV, wasn't coming out. I fought my tears as long as I could, but I just couldn't. We talked, and she called me in abscent.
For a while I felt bad because I don't want to see my grandpa until the unfortunate inevitable. I felt like I was betraying him and my grandma, but I want to remember him as how I knew him: the healthy, vibrant, wise-ass, loving grandpa he was. I don't want to remember the coma-stricken, near death grandpa that lays in the hospital bed. My mother said I wasn't a bad person, and that wanting to remember him as he was was ok, and that it is ok for me not to want to see him, and that grandma understood and was ok with it. (Na Na still wants to kidnap me and take me to Las Vegas with her.)
On a brighter note...
Sue and I went to Piggly Wiggly and bought tickets to see Bad Religion. They're playing at The Rave on October 13. Too bad we're not seeing them at The Metro - it is a much better club.
I went to dad's today. He tried to talk me into going and seeing grandpa, but I told him no. He then took my car (along with me) out for a spin to see if everything was running good. He said the clutch needed to be adjusted. But everything else was fine. (Of course, except for the windsheild wiper that is not working - and of course it's on the driver's side.)
Yeah, that was my day. Rather crummy, if you ask me. sable
P.S. - The title of this entry comes from the Concrete Blonde song, "Tomorrow, Wendy", which you can read here.
Dance to the Beat of the Living Dead
9/11/00
I couldn't be happier! I just won two auctions on Ebay. I won The Stooges "Fun House" LP, and a Stooges video. I am very happy about this.
My very good friend, ophelia* made a new layout for her blog, Fuck Your Blog, featuring the ever-so beautiful, ever-so sexy, Iggy Pop. To view it, click here. Happiness is a guaranteed! It's such a beautiful layout, I love it. You should go love it, too.
We got a fish in TA (like a study hall). We named him John Waters, cause the case said it was a male fish, but it's purple, red, and pink, so we were thinking it was a very flamboyant male fish, so we named him after John Waters.
Aside from all the happiness, there is one sad thing. My Grandpa is not doing well. They say he does not have much longer to live. But I think he would want me to be strong. So I am going to be strong...or I'm going to try to be. sable
We All Live in a Yellow Submarine
9/9/00
Yay! I went to Regency today in the mid-afternoon and picked up my Yellow Submarine lava lamp. I am very happy about this. I also dropped off my appo at Suncoast, I hope they will hire me.
My day has been pretty boring. Just sat around all day on the computer. I had the YS lava lamp on since, like, 2 when I got home, and it's just starting to work. But it needed time to warm up, since it's new and all. It's my second lava lamp. sable
The Lipstick Killers
9/8/00
WOO-HOO! Tomorrow I am going to buy a very cool, lava lamp of The Beatles Yellow Submarine. I am so fucking HAPPY!
Heather, Lesley, and I all went to Regency Mall to shop after school. It was great fun. I found this incredible Beatles Yellow Submarine lava lamp at Spencer's, and I'm having them hold it for me until tomorrow, when I'll go back up there and buy it. (I didn't have enough money on me then to buy it, so that's why I didn't buy it then, otherwise I would have.) I also got the tape of the X-Files that I've been looking for forever. It has "Home" on it, which is the one episode that's been banned from TV because the subject matter was very...touchy. I also bought loads of Sanario stationary. I found some Chococat Sanario stationary, which I've never seen before. I've never heard of Chococat either, but if you've seen Chococat before, e-mail me about it.
Came home, went for an amazing 2 hour walk (after I dropped of Heather and Lesley, of course). And that was my day. sable
Please Kill Me
9/7/00
Woo-hoo! My wonderful teacher, Scott, picked me up the book Please Kill Me by Legs McNeil and Gillian McCain. Since he works at Barnes and Noble part time, he was able to get an employee discount, which means I only owed him, like, 10 bucks (which I paid him back in full).
A big surprise came in the mail for me today. My last paycheck! Which I wasn't expecting, ha ha ha, since I thought I had already gotten it. So now I'm quite a bit more richer.
Mom and I took "Iggy" to imitions (sp?) today. He passed with flying colors, I am proud to say. There's quite a sigh of release there. sable
Morning Glory
9/6/00
Well, I woke up at 9:45 in the morning, which obviously means I did not go to school today. Mom called me in. Shit happens. *sigh*
Really didn't do much except surf the net, watch TV, and take a walk. A bit disappointed by the fact that I did not do much today - especially since it was a school day, and I could have done something more productive. But what can I do? The time has passed me, and there's no going back to re-spend it.
Went on the Hole board quite a bit today. sable
Roots Radical
9/5/00
Today was a pretty good day at school. Nothing too interesting happened, though. I know my entries have gotten pathetically short, I swear, an upcoming one will be a big one. It's just, I'm trying to keep 3 journals - this one, one for school, and one for Infant Lab (which, if I don't keep, my grade will drop, and that would be baaad). I'm trying to make each one different, but interesting in their own right, you know? sable
Middle of the Road
9/3/00
Don't know what this entry will be all about. So it's probably going to be a short one. *sigh*
No, nevermind. I lost it. Whatever. sable
At the Laundromat...
9/2/00
Well, I woke up at about noon today. Watched some of the Ricky Nelson movie that was on VH1 (I don't know if I ever mentioned that I sleep with the TV on, which I do) while in my sleepy haze.
Finally got my lazy ass out of bed and brushed my teeth and took a shower. In the middle of this, my Grandma came in and I had to rush a bit, cause I was running late, cause I was going to go to the laundromat with her. I asked her to iron my MC5 "Back in the USA" shirt, and she did.
After I finished blow drying my hair, we went to McDonald's, got some food, then we went to the laundromat. We we played cards a little. We were there for a long time.
It was about 4:30 when we got home (we had left at, like, 1:30), and I helped Grandma hang some clothes up, and then I went inside the house.
That was my day. sable
Search And Destroy
9/1/00
Today we had a scavenger hunt in school. We also went to Baker Park for lunch - and it was free! (Woo-hoo!)
Did a lot of walking. When I got home, I went for a walk. Yeah, my legs are a bit sore now, ha ha ha.
Dude, this is completely uncool. The Hole message board has been down now for 3 days now. Completely frustrating, completely uncoolness. sable
Papercuts
8/31/00
I know. My school related entry titles gotta be getting annoying. Ha ha ha. Too bad I can't think of any other ones.
Woke up at 7:36 today, that's baaad. It is my fault, though, cause I stayed up until 2 am talking with my friend ophelia*.
Got to school late, which is rather embarrassing on my part, because it's the second day of school, and I'm already late. Ugh.
I took my test that I had in Math, which will decide whether I get Alegebra 1 or Geometery. I'm hoping for Algebra 1. Did a report in AIS on Lyn St. James, a woman race car driver - I have to do reports for gym (since I'm not doing the in school physical activity).
When I got to TA, I put on The Stooges "Fun House". I was merrily enjoying it, the period is almost over, it's almost to the CDs last song (which is number 7), and it wasn't even that loud - you would not be able to hear it across the room well - when this bitch in my TA who is a 10th grader with the mentality of a middle schooler (one of those assholes already - Reuther must be going downhill), TURNS DOWN MY STOOGES. Yesterday, she was listening to her fucking Toni Braxton, and I am no fan of Toni Braxton, and it was louder than I had The Stooges, and I did NOT touch it. Because I look at it this way: I won't fuck with your music, if you don't fuck with mine. And if she has her music on tomorrow, I'll leave it alone. But I'll bring in some MC5, or maybe more Stooges, and if she even tries to fuck with it again, I'll just turn it up and sit next to the stereo (although I basically was today - I was at a table next to the stereo) and guard it like a fucking dog, and every time she turns it down, I'll turn it back up.
Anyhow, I know she's not a bright person, cause I had a class with her when I was in 9th grade and she was in 8th, and we were in middle school. Her maturity level isn't that high, so one would expect one of her level of immaturity to do something like this.
After lunch, I went to Infant Lab, and I've been assigned to the toddlers area, where all the kids are walking and talking and stuff. I changed two diapers, and I played with the kids. I had fun. It's a nice class. The kids are sweet. After Infant Lab, I went to my Forensics (Criminology - so to say) class.
Got home, went for a walk, and then relaxed. sable
No Recess
8/30/00
Today was my first day of school - my first day as a senior. Oh, the excitement.
Got up early in the morning (6 am), turned on We Will Fall: The Iggy Pop Tribute followed by some Lunachicks. I brushed my teeth, took my shower, and got dressed. Mom came home around the time I was finished getting dressed. As usual, she took some pictures of me - she's done that since Kindergarden, taking cheesy pictures of me walking out the door, blah blah blah.
Got to school, we had to report to our TA's (aka "study hall"). We then took a retarded tour around the building. Something we do every stinkin' year, to orientate the newbies. Well, that's just dandy, but after my third year at this school, I think I know the place, couldn't they just leave the veterans out? *sigh* Of course not.
My school has four different programs within it, and we visited all four: Regular Reuther (the program I'm in - and my school is called Reuther), AIS (Accelerated Independent Study - you can take AIS programs, or you can be in the actual program, where that's your only form of learning), Bridges, and the Kenosha Military Academy (KMA - I joined this program in 10th grade, and left before the year was over, when I switched to regular Reuther at the beginning of the fourth quarter).
I kept that a pretty good secret, though, me being in the KMA. Only a few people knew I was in that program, but then the instructor pointed me out and exposed my well kept secret. *sigh* Oh well, it's not like I'm in it anymore. When I left, I left with no regrets, and I didn't look back AT ALL.
After the tour, we went back to our TA rooms (my TA is with the coolest teacher in the whole entire world: SCOTT - in my opinion, anyway). There we were handed our journals, cause that's part of the TA credit, and it seems to have swept about the school.
Then we went to 20 minute "orientations" with what was in our schedule - except for block 4B (for those of us who have one - and I do). I discovered that I had already taken Botony Zoology, so I ended up switching to Infant Lab. Hopefully I'll be able to avoid getting puked on and all the spittle.
Anyhow, I really enjoy going to my school. We're all individuals, and we live and let live. There is not a whole lot of teasing and mockery going on here, although we do get the occasional asshole/bitch who have the middle school, hipper-than-thou attitude, but they don't last long. The girls here aren't all sexy-sexy, and the guys aren't all dudey-dudey. You know? The only way I'd possibly leave, would be perhaps, if Scott left. I'd get homeschooled then, cause there's no way in hell I'm gonna go to Indian Trails, Tremper, or Bradford.
Oh yeah, one time after Faire, I went to McDonald's and Kyle was dumb enough to try to talk me into going to Indian Trail. What a turn-off. So they have a whole lot of technology and cheap walls, but they don't have the climate of Reuther, Scott, or my friends (except for Ashley). sable
School
8/29/00
This is my last day of summer vacation. I almost can't believe it. In some ways, I'm sad, cause you know, no more free days, but in some ways, I'm happy, cause I'm a senior, and this is my last year of school. I'm also looking forward to seeing my teachers. My school has a lot of cool teachers, we get to call them by their first names.
Anyhow, after this year is over I'm moving to Ann Arbor, Michigan. I am really excited about this.
My highschool years really flew by me. It seems like only yesterday I was in 10th grade, a sophmore, but now I'm a senior, in 12th grade. I'm going to be graduating and starting a life of my own, just grabbing life and running with it. I wonder what it will be like on my own, but I know I will soon find out.
I decided to change the layout now, because I might not have a lot of time to do it tomorrow and so on, and I wanted to get it done. The picture is of Debbie Harry, the beautiful lead singer of the band, Blondie. I also archived, as you can tell. sable
