...or just a little unkind

6.21.01 @ 10:15 a.m.

i don't like the drugs but the drugs like me

yes...i'm back on medication. i'm on celexa, another SSRI. hopefully this one will help more with my anger problems. i think that it's good so far, i've been on it for about two days now, and it's all good.

T MINUS ONE DAY AND COUNTING!

new layout soon, i promise.

~nicole

6.20.01 @ 04:58 p.m.

two days!

i have a minor issue with this...how is he going to get together with me? is he going to call? ugh! i'm such a worrywart. i'm sure it'll all be fine.

i think my work is very pissed at me right now. oh well.

~nicole

6.18.01 @ 03:44 p.m.

you don't know how it feels

sorry, i have that random tom petty song in my head. i feel better than my previous post...i think i just need serious help. i don't feel quite as angry now as i did. i've been trying to calm down.

i called in sick to work tonight for two reasons: 1) since my mom took my keys away, i can't get into my car, which has all my work stuff in it (like my SHOES), and 2) i don't honestly think i could handle going to work tonight. i'm in emotional overload right now, and i'm afraid i'd end up bringing it in with me...and i really don't want to do that. especially in a toy store.

erin tried to knock some sense into me earlier...hopefully it had an unconscious effect on me because i'm not sure i understand anything with my state of mind. god i hope i get over myself. i hate being such a self-pitying loser.

~nicole

6.15.01 @ 03:42 p.m.

seven days!

i'm getting silly. i got a letter from felix today (2 papers front and back filled). i wrote a 7-page response. do i have a life? nope. that's all right.

nothing unusual going on. i need an idea for a new layout. i think i'm gonna do a blue's clues one. all righty then.

~nicole

6.14.01 @ 12:34 a.m.

nine days!

...technically, it's eight days. wahoo! eight days till felix comes home for three days...and then back to ct where i won't see him for god knows how long. oi.

i've worked every day this week. in retrospect, that's probably good...i definitely need the money. i got my estimate for the brand-spanking-new damage on my car...about 1500. not too bad...that's approximately what i have in my account right now. joy.

~nicole

6.11.01 @ 02:37 p.m.

meow.

finally on vacation, after all the ordeals of last week...ugh. note to self: don't be an idiot. sorry, this post makes no sense. read my scribble if you care.

updates:
*scribble.

~nicole

6.4.01 @ 08:42 p.m.

grrr

my brother makes me SO MAD! aargh. i can't deal with him. i'm not his chaffeur, i'm not his punching bag, i'm not his therapist. i'm his sister. grr.

updates
*scribble
*message board finally up--PLEASE WRITE IN IT!!

~nicole

6.3.01 @ 09:24 p.m.

prom queen '01...just kidding

all right, let me have my little rant about proms in general, then i'll get to the ursuline prom. i love getting dressed up, i love getting my hair done, i love all that romantic stuff...but i hate the fact that i have to spend an insanely large amount of money to do it. i calculated during physics that i spent $2.11 per MINUTE on the prom. and yes, if you do the math, that adds up to about $675 or something like that. it's freaking awful. i'm going thrifty next year. that's it. i'm determined not to spend so much on the prom next year. grr.

the ursuline prom was last thursday (may 31), and after going through six dates i ended up going with mike, my ex and currently one of my best guy friends. do you want to hear the history of my dates? if you don't, too bad. here it goes:

date #1: cory. got sloshed and called my best friend a fat bitch. (everything's cool now, though.)
date #2: jose. accepted, but forgot he was already going with someone else. gay.
date #3: paul. rejected me. basically, he wanted to go to the ursuline prom, but not with me. (and as it turns out, he didn't go. haha.)
date #4: derek. *nsync concert. gay.
date #5: steve. lives in plymouth. i only know his aim screenname. couldn't get in contact with him.
date #6: matt. smoking drinking ex-drug dealer whom i invited by accident. quickly uninvited him.
date #7: mike. you know what they say about lucky sevens...

so i brought mike, and he was a very good date. i was surprised, he remembered everything, and he was dancing. he seemed to be having a good time. i was content. erin's date, alex, ended up bailing on her and being a complete jerk, so she brought jon (pete's friend from northeastern) literally at the last second. melisa brought steve2, the fifteen year old from the play (see her scribble for more info on that). lauren and steve. beth and chris. amanda and some guy. sandy and brian *gag*. and....drumroll please...pete and bree.

so bree really likes pete, and before last night, i didn't think pete really thought too terribly much about bree. he's extremely floored by her. so he likes her, but he also likes this girl karin who's 21 and goes to northeastern...*shrugs* don't know what to tell him about that one. i personally think he should just ask bree out and it'll be cute and they'll get over it. see his livejournal for more details.

back to the prom...so it was fun, nothing extremely monumental happened. they started with a prayer (surprise, surprise), they played some salt'n'pepa and i was getting my groove on. i didn't sit down like the whole night. i was having a lot of fun just dancing and being silly like i always am. mike and i were just being goofy the whole night. it was pretty rockin' to have a date that i didn't have to impress =). no offense to mike or anything, but i pretty much know that he doesn't really care what i look like or whatever, and i'm completely comfortable around him.

then i was supposed to have a big giant co-ed sleepover afterwards...which sort of ended up being me, erin, melisa, and amanda. pretty boring. we tried to go to bickford's after the prom, but it was closed...BICKFORD'S NEVER CLOSES!! what happened to freaking "breakfast anytime"?! jeez. honestly.

i went to the ursuline graduation today...i got so confused, because those girls can't graduate. they've been there just as long as i have, it doesn't make sense. it just scares me that i only have one more year left. wahooooo!

~nicole

5.28.01 @ 12:09 p.m.

pearl harbor sucks, shrek rocks

okay, where do i begin? saturday i went into boston with kels and erin to see our buds at northeastern. i got to see felix, which made me very happy. yay. we saw pearl harbor, which sucked. then we just kinda walked around boston for awhile...and i have a giant cut on my foot...but whatever. then i forgot my bag at the pizza place, so i had to walk all the way back and get it. then i was sort of hoping for a goodnight kiss, but i felt kind of strange with my friends all watching us...so no such luck. oh well.

i saw shrek yesterday. it was totally awesome. i recommend it to everyone. the best part was the end when smash mouth covered "i'm a believer" by the monkees. it was rockin. the end.

~nicole

5.25.01 @ 06:26 p.m.

how soon shall i return?

well, we'll see. i need to concentrate on my studies, so there won't be many updates for awhile. hopefully june 7th will begin a fabulous new journey into my website.

~nicole

5.24.01 @ 11:02 p.m.

the day from hell.

this day has been an absolute nightmare. i finally turn in my religion project, and my teacher is looking completely unimpressed by the hours of hard work i've put into my fucking wedding. then i go to history, and realize i left the worksheets that were due today at home...and of course, mrs. young wasn't happy about it. then at mass, erin and i had a case of the sillies, so we got separated. THEN, mrs. sandel gave me detention for talking loudly at lunch. everyone was talking loudly, i was the only one who got nailed for it. when i go to complain about my detention, melisa informs me that i've been really rude to mrs. sandell all year long and she doesn't appreciate it. great.

i go to perform my detention duties, and mrs. sandell hands me a rubber glove and a knife, instructing me to scrape gum off from under the tables for half an hour. with tear-filled eyes, i began the lowly task, and all of a sudden beth (angel that she is) came over and insisted upon helping me. i told her to leave, she might get in trouble, but she persists, telling me that "it's fun!" i continue crying, and when mrs. sandell comes back, beth asks her if she has another knife, and mrs. sandell refuses to give her one. then mrs. sandell calls to me "lousy job, isn't it?" making me feel worse than i already do and causing me to hyperventilate. noticing how upset she had made me, mrs. sandell starts crying. after she dismissed me from detention, i was walking quickly down the hall to splash my face in cold water when all of a sudden, mrs. kinsella (guidance counselor) calls me into her office to reprimand me about being disruptive during mass. as she was about to do so, she noticed my face and made me sit in her office and cry. then, finally, i go home.

so i get home, and my brother is on the computer. i'm so wiped from the hour of crying i did, i decide to take a nap. when i woke up, my brother was on the computer again, so i just left early for work...which sucked, since my boss yelled at me a lot, and one of the associates was being kinda bitchy to me...then when i get home, my brother is STILL on the computer!! i ask him nicely if i could please use it (seriously, and that's unusual for me), and he says no. and all he's doing is looking at that godforsaken neopets site. they should get rid of the damn thing. so FINALLY, he lets me on, and then he gets into a fight with my mom and insistently pounds the wall above my head for 15-20 minutes.

the end.

~nicole

5.19.01 @ 12:49 p.m.

moooooooo.

well that was a fun prom. i went to tom's prom last night...i'm still at his house. he's reading over my shoulder. it's really annoying. but i guess he's alloweds, considering i'm using his computer. there was this one girl there, eileen, she was like...all over anything that walked by. it was amusing. especially since she didn't seem to mind a little girl-on-girl action. lol. i need a shower in the worst way.

i am having EXTREME typing issues right now. oh well.

more later.

~nicole

5.16.01 @ 6:38 p.m.

new layout--finally

it's all good. i enjoy it. the color is a nice contrast.

updates
*new layout
*versions fixed*
*most broken links fixed
*stories added to random writings

~nicole

5.15.01 @ 7:17 p.m.

new layout

it's coming along.

~nicole