9.12.01 @ 06:04 p.m.

the new day of infamy

...or so the boston globe proclaimed it as.

i don't even have anything valid to say in response to all the traumatic events of the past 36 hours or so. it's all so completely overwhelming. i'm floored by the way that two of the most enormous and iconoclastic (is that the word i'm even looking for? who knows...) buildings in america are gone, and in their wake are thousands dead or wounded. i think the only thing that bothers me is that there is no logical motive to destroying such key buildings of the united states. i mean, i guess i can see why they did it. they were looking for attention...and boy, did they get it. but...why there? why all those innocent people? thousands of lives that never bothered anyone...gone. to prove that the us was indeed penetrable. to prove that we have a few weaknesses. i never felt so loyal to my country as i do now. i guess i can sort of see what fee sees in america. i'm just not as enthusiastic about it.

speaking of felix, i got to see him last weekend. it was an adventure of new jersey proportions. it was a good weekend (aside from the hotel issue...which is a longer story that i'll explain later), but i wish i didn't have to say goodbye to felix once again. seeing his mom cry was so sad...because i'm losing my boyfriend, but she's losing her son. she tried to cover up that she was crying, but i knew. i think she thought i was crying (i wasn't, i actually managed to keep most of my emotion internal), because she asked a couple of times whether or not i was ok. i hope these six/seven/eight months go by quickly. i want this college stuff over and done with, i want to know what i'm doing next year, i don't want to stress out, and i want to have fee back in my arms.

and if you're reading this and thinking i'm crazy for wanting to stay with a boy who will be in bosnia for the next 6-8 months of our relationship...well, then, fuck you. all you're doing is dragging it down. if you support me, awesome. i can use all the support i can get. it's going to be a long haul. but trust me, it's not just a fling. if you had someone as wonderful as felix, you wouldn't want to let it go either. not without a fight. < / sappy moment >.

god bless you all.

~nicole

9.4.01 @ 06:54 p.m.

sorry for all the [expletive deleted] pain

teehee! sorry, everyone, for the generic lack of updates. i started working on a layout in august, then i lost interest in it...then i went on two vacations. i just got back yesterday, so now i have more motivation to do them. a new layout is coming now, i promise. weezer, too.

oh, in case anyone cares, i had a great time on both of my vacations. my first vacation was with my mom....the disney cruise to st. thomas, st. maarten, and castaway cay (pronounced KEY, a private island in the bahamas). i met up with my friends from last year, we made some new friends. i watched someone get kicked out of a porn shop only to be harassed to buy beer ten minutes later. go figure. my second vacation was to l.a., and that was rockin'. hooray for socal! i visited ucla (eh...), pepperdine (wickednifty), and usc (WAHOO!). my chances for usc aren't that great, but you know what? fuck statistics. not my problem. so there. oh, yeah, i also went to universal, disney's california adventure, 3 hard rock cafe's, rodeo drive, and took some funny pictures while trying to find that godforsaken hollywood sign. you know, it's not as obvious as they make it look on tv.

school starts thursday. wait: i'm sorry, i got that wrong. the summer ends thursday. goodbye, summer of '01.

good times, good times.

~nicole

7.19.01 @ 01:10 p.m.

happy birthday, mr. president.

birthday shoutouts to my cousin vinny and to my bestest friend melisa. happy respective birthdays! vinny will get nothing and melisa will eventually get something from me. probably when she gets back. whatever =).

speaking of presents, i put felix's on layaway. i never put anything on layaway before. i'm such a geek! i was like "how much does it cost?"

all right, time for a party at mrs. sandell's house. there's a contradiction in terms.

~nicole

7.18.01 @ 12:38 p.m.

roar!

reading over my last scribble entry made me want to smack myself around a couple of times. would anyone mind telling me what made me sound so...airheaded? i looked like a freshman at ursuline trying to be deep. i don't even know why i bother. i'm not terribly deep, i don't think deep thoughts, and i wish i could get over it. but no, my goal in life is to attempt to be cool by being deep.

sorry. end rant. or as erin puts it, < /rant >.

happy birthday, felix! >^..^<

^--cat! teehee. courtesy of sam.

~nicole

7.15.01 @ 02:23 p.m.

happy hump day!

it's the 15th, which is hump day.

updates
*scribble

~nicole

7.13.01 @ 03:48 p.m.

just give me nitrous oxide, shoot me up with novacaine

i've had that weird al song in my head since i went to the dentist's this morning. if you ever get a chance to hear it, it's called "numb me, drill me, floss me, bill me"...it's a parody of "hold me, thrill me, kiss me, kill me" by u2. my dentist, dr. ge--who's actually a pretty nice guy--asked me if i was afraid of needles, and i said something along the lines of "not really, but i've never had one in my mouth before." dr. ge's assistant tried to reassure me by telling me it would feel like a mosquito bite, and i said "yeah, but mosquitoes don't generally climb into my mouth to take a bite." what a stupid analogy. but it didn't hurt that much (i actually think they gave me 2 shots of novacaine because i was so nervous)...however, i just regained feeling in my face, and they gave me the novacaine at like, 11:15 a.m. PLUS, i have to go back. i had five fucking cavities. go figure...nothing happens for seventeen years, and BAM! five cavities. oi vey.

i'm getting kind of sick of this layout already--i did a sort of crappy job on it. anyone have any ideas for me? email me with any themes for a new layout. i might have to do a canada layout.

~nicole

7.12.01 @ 11:14 a.m.

scribble

it's private, though. if you want to read it, ask me for the password, and if i decide it's ok, then i'll let you read it. otherwise...whatever.

ever get that sneaking suspicion that something has gone terribly awry? i do.

~nicole

7.8.01 @ 02:05 p.m.

no cash money millionaire here.

i lost $20 yesterday when i was shopping with erin and kelly yesterday...which normally would bother me quite so much, but seeing as i have close to nothing in my bank account right now, it bothers me. plus, i need to get tom and laura their birthday presents. oi. on the plus side, i got a really nice crochet duster and i got to see jipson. he's such a sweetheart! i love that kid.

yay, i start bob's tomorrow. no more zany brainy for me. well, that's not true, i have one more shift with them on tuesday. i don't understand why they would even bother to schedule me if i'm leaving. oh well, more money for me, less for them.

felix will be in boston for a couple of days soon. yay!

~nicole

7.6.01 @ 11:02 a.m.

i thought that alcohol was just for those with nothing else to do

and in a way, it is. i just got back from canada, where the beer flows like honey. i'll admit it, i tried beer for the first time...yes, i broke my edge once more. but i doubt that i'll break it anymore this summer. oh well.

no updates, too tired to update.

~nicole

6.29.01 @ 09:12 p.m.

anniversary song

today is the anniversary of my grandfather's death...the only person in my family that i knew who has died. he died when i was four, so i can't say all that stuff about how much i miss him and how we always bonded over fishing trips or other things like that...but there's still a sense of sadness surrounding his death. death doesn't come easily to my family...the longevity strand is always there.

speaking of longevity, that's actually why i'm updating. this year, my great-grandmother turned 95, so we're all heading up to canada for a family reunion. there is literally nothing to do up there, so i intend to finish a good chunk of my summer reading during the trips up and back (17 hours each way, boo). so if you're wondering why there are no updates over the next few days, it's because i'll be hundreds of miles from civilization. you literally have to drive 90 miles to get a pair of pants up there. ugh.

i'll send y'all a postcard.

~nicole

6.26.01 @ 01:22 p.m.

bored out of my skull.

sorry anyone actually READING this, i'm bored out of my skull. i've tried everything to get my brain to function and actually accomplish something, but the most i've managed to do today is mail felix a letter. i have a minor headache and back pain. i think i'll go lie down.

~nicole

6.25.01 @ 03:12 p.m.

o glorious weekend

felix came home...and we hung out the entire weekend. we went to a carnival, i met his best friend, it was awesome. i'm on cloud nine. wheeeee.

updates
*new link--felix's best friend, josh, under "personal"

~nicole

6.22.01 @ 06:42 p.m.

hooray, updates

new layout. changes here and there (fixed a couple broken links, added a new category to the top ten, stuff like that). enjoy.

~nicole