answer
nopes. i didnt let him. just to get the message straight. haha. sickos.[120304,0240hr]
happy or loved?
if given a choice, would u be with someone that makes u happy but not loved? or someone who loves u but not happy? generally people come to the assumption that happiness is the answer. e.g. a friend. he/she makes u happy but doesnt adore u the way u adore him/her. what about someone who loves u but u wont be happy if he did. e.g. a friend. u get what i'm trying to say. maybe i question too much. but it's a thought to ponder. which one would u choose? lets say everyone else are either bitches or bastards. i wouldnt know which one to pick. if i'd say happiness, i think i'm either crazy or lost my head but ey, what's life without risks? but u'll hafta get ready ur consequences. always reserve a plan B somewhere.
ever had sex? how does it feel? has anyone ever asked u that? if u hear by the words of "having sex is like eating chocolates". whack yourself on the head or i will do it for you. if someone else told u that. whack him on the head and tell him look for me coz i'll give him another whack on his head. sex is NOT like eating chocolates. who the fuck came up with that anyway.
a bisexual guy once wanted to suck my dick and i asked him i rather a girl suck mine and kinda it hit me for a bit. what makes a guy sucking ur dick so much different from a girl? let me elaborate. if a girl were to get oral on another girl, will it feel the same? i dont think girls have different tongue structure than men. so why is it different? same goes for a guy.. are girls mouths much softer and guys' are so much firmer and harder? what? eeeked out? just a thought to ponder. be open for god sake's. it's sex education here. anyway, back to where we were.. how much different canit be? guess what did the bisexual guy say? a guy would swaaaaallllllloooooowwwwww.. hahaha. amusing. true.. but amusing. haha. more guys would swallow than girls. fucking true.[120304,0212hr]
ever had sex? how does it feel? has anyone ever asked u that? if u hear by the words of "having sex is like eating chocolates". whack yourself on the head or i will do it for you. if someone else told u that. whack him on the head and tell him look for me coz i'll give him another whack on his head. sex is NOT like eating chocolates. who the fuck came up with that anyway.
a bisexual guy once wanted to suck my dick and i asked him i rather a girl suck mine and kinda it hit me for a bit. what makes a guy sucking ur dick so much different from a girl? let me elaborate. if a girl were to get oral on another girl, will it feel the same? i dont think girls have different tongue structure than men. so why is it different? same goes for a guy.. are girls mouths much softer and guys' are so much firmer and harder? what? eeeked out? just a thought to ponder. be open for god sake's. it's sex education here. anyway, back to where we were.. how much different canit be? guess what did the bisexual guy say? a guy would swaaaaallllllloooooowwwwww.. hahaha. amusing. true.. but amusing. haha. more guys would swallow than girls. fucking true.[120304,0212hr]
noon
the noons have been rather cloudy these days. nice. just wished it has more wind. the air's too stagnant here. need a change of pace. need a change of air. gotta do something different today dear.
my mum gave me a few forms abt the Education Trust Fund. basically it's like a contribution every month. u set ur own amount. can be a buck or two or if ur generous enough maybe a lil bit more. meant for the working people who'd like to help the poor children who are deprived of getting education coz of financial issues. i've got 3 forms to give out to. anyone interested can contact me by mail or phone. i'll be very glad to pass u the form. :)
didnt know abt praz's eye only til today. looks kinda bad. very bad actually. gonna see him wear glasses this week i guess. hehe. never seen him in glasses before. i dont think i have. hope the jamming's clear for the weekend. miss jamming with them. and i popped zul's bass. have i told u that?
i'm gonna write down my thoughts abt the stories i have in mind. maybe just let my mind wander. fuck the comp. i dont think we can make it in time. but my goal before the 21st of april is to have doen ONE short film. that's my aim for myself. the one great achievement i'd be able to tell my children.[110304,1333hr]
my mum gave me a few forms abt the Education Trust Fund. basically it's like a contribution every month. u set ur own amount. can be a buck or two or if ur generous enough maybe a lil bit more. meant for the working people who'd like to help the poor children who are deprived of getting education coz of financial issues. i've got 3 forms to give out to. anyone interested can contact me by mail or phone. i'll be very glad to pass u the form. :)
didnt know abt praz's eye only til today. looks kinda bad. very bad actually. gonna see him wear glasses this week i guess. hehe. never seen him in glasses before. i dont think i have. hope the jamming's clear for the weekend. miss jamming with them. and i popped zul's bass. have i told u that?
i'm gonna write down my thoughts abt the stories i have in mind. maybe just let my mind wander. fuck the comp. i dont think we can make it in time. but my goal before the 21st of april is to have doen ONE short film. that's my aim for myself. the one great achievement i'd be able to tell my children.[110304,1333hr]
comparisons
i hate being compared to someone better than me. so what if the other person's better than me? u're in no right to tell me i cant do what the other person can do. i KNOW i cant do what the other person can do. dont have to keep repeating it in my ears. i'm not mr"know-it-all". i'm just me. the me i knew before. the me i know now. i can either get better at it or otherwise. i hate people who think i cant make it. it angers me. that's what i've always thrived on. no better substitute to motivation than anger. anger gives u more strength than u can ever imagine. not love. anger is the answer my friend. the feeling of dissatifaction. that's what keeps us spinning. keeps us moving. anger. i think i've been writing too much tonight. i cant help it. i need to let it out somewhere. i love anger.[100304,0233hr]
cry
i just cried. some people are afraid to tell people they cried coz they dont want people to know. it's like a personal thing u know. like that 50 bucks. like that special something. like that one dark dirty secret. i think we should cry once in a while. been long since i cried. cant really remember when. well, i did. made me feel better. but that doesnt mean i dont want someone to come up to me and punch me. try me.
these tears are real. i'm probably irritated at everyone just now. couldnt stand listening to people. how u wished sometimes things could end early. it'll be bliss.. u dont have to go thru a lot more. but ironically, u dont get to go thru a whole lot more. u wont know how ur grandchildren look like. u wouldnt be able to tell them old grandpa stories abt the time when u were their age. and if ur not married, u wouldnt be able to tell your kid how wonderful ur life was. well, not really. dont think i lead a wonderful life. but i have a wonderful family. a family i know who'd always be there for me. i know sometimes i look like i dont bother, but i do. i love my family although it may look like i am not close to them. i love my parents and i love my siblings. they're all i got when everything else fades. i love you guys.
gonna watch last life in the universe tomorrow. if noone's gonna go with me i'll just go by myself. i'll probably walk ard town by myself tomorrow. read up chuck's diary at borders or the library and probably head to the screens ard 9. should i buy new headphones?
i am a butterfly but u wouldnt let me die. -Something Corporate[100304,0133hr]
these tears are real. i'm probably irritated at everyone just now. couldnt stand listening to people. how u wished sometimes things could end early. it'll be bliss.. u dont have to go thru a lot more. but ironically, u dont get to go thru a whole lot more. u wont know how ur grandchildren look like. u wouldnt be able to tell them old grandpa stories abt the time when u were their age. and if ur not married, u wouldnt be able to tell your kid how wonderful ur life was. well, not really. dont think i lead a wonderful life. but i have a wonderful family. a family i know who'd always be there for me. i know sometimes i look like i dont bother, but i do. i love my family although it may look like i am not close to them. i love my parents and i love my siblings. they're all i got when everything else fades. i love you guys.
gonna watch last life in the universe tomorrow. if noone's gonna go with me i'll just go by myself. i'll probably walk ard town by myself tomorrow. read up chuck's diary at borders or the library and probably head to the screens ard 9. should i buy new headphones?
i am a butterfly but u wouldnt let me die. -Something Corporate[100304,0133hr]
you wont be needing me
dont ask me how i feel right now. total trash. totally sodomised and left wide open. funny how when ur mad, when ur irritated, when ur fucked up, u just dunno what ur talking abt.
the short story seems fucked up. nothing seems to work. nothign seems to get done. nothing looks as good anymore. besides chuckie being gay, i did a major achievement today. spoiled my day when it went ok. first of all i wanted to watch last life in the universe tonight coz it's only showing till... tomorrow? i'm fucking irritated by the way things are going. end it all. end it all soon.
where's that resting shoulder? where's that cool head? i dunno. i wonder who hates me right now. i wonder who fucking hates me. i wanna know. i wanna know all the people who fucking hate me. can i find one person who hates me? come up to me. throw me a punch. i wanna feel that punch boy. i fucking dare ya. i think i'd break out in laughter. anyone who reads this blog right now, who fucking despise me. i give u the permission to fuck me k? i'll be glad to know someone hates me. i'm no angel. i'm no good dick. i wanna know who hates me. dont tell me noone does. fucking bullocks. there's bound to be someone. hit me when u see me.[100304,0102hr]
the short story seems fucked up. nothing seems to work. nothign seems to get done. nothing looks as good anymore. besides chuckie being gay, i did a major achievement today. spoiled my day when it went ok. first of all i wanted to watch last life in the universe tonight coz it's only showing till... tomorrow? i'm fucking irritated by the way things are going. end it all. end it all soon.
where's that resting shoulder? where's that cool head? i dunno. i wonder who hates me right now. i wonder who fucking hates me. i wanna know. i wanna know all the people who fucking hate me. can i find one person who hates me? come up to me. throw me a punch. i wanna feel that punch boy. i fucking dare ya. i think i'd break out in laughter. anyone who reads this blog right now, who fucking despise me. i give u the permission to fuck me k? i'll be glad to know someone hates me. i'm no angel. i'm no good dick. i wanna know who hates me. dont tell me noone does. fucking bullocks. there's bound to be someone. hit me when u see me.[100304,0102hr]
obviousity
a bit too obvious dont u think wan? crap. urgh. what can i do right? urgh. *shoots himself* cant keep mouth and mind shut.
rain's starting to stop. nice. meeting dian in a bit. :) urgh. i really feel like shooting myself. cant help it. urgh. that's the 4th urgh i said in an entry.
should i watch that movie tonight? since i'm already there. i dunno. if it was inthe day i'd be ok with it. it's already night and i am gonna go back home so late again. been going back very late these days. see how. wish i could watch it with her. urgh. sixth.[080304,1759hr]
a bit too obvious dont u think wan? crap. urgh. what can i do right? urgh. *shoots himself* cant keep mouth and mind shut.
rain's starting to stop. nice. meeting dian in a bit. :) urgh. i really feel like shooting myself. cant help it. urgh. that's the 4th urgh i said in an entry.
should i watch that movie tonight? since i'm already there. i dunno. if it was inthe day i'd be ok with it. it's already night and i am gonna go back home so late again. been going back very late these days. see how. wish i could watch it with her. urgh. sixth.[080304,1759hr]
nice rainy day
been raining the whole day. shoosh. but nice. i liek this weather. makes u wanna just slack ard at home and lie down in that nice bed of urs. haha. that's what i did for half the day. woke up at 12. hehe.
hope the rain stops soon though. please? i want it to stop. the morning rainis ok. dont make it rain all the way. i wanna go out to town this evening lah. please? havent actually watched last life in the universe. thinking of going to watch it today and i realised that the it's only til wednesday at cineleisure. what's great is all of the days it's at 2130hr. urgh. hope to catch it soon. wanna watch raising victor vargas and big fish too. anyone? ehhe.
made a couple of slow tunes on my guitar. cant record it now coz the whole house is full of noise. u;ve got my lil sis screaming. my lil bro jumping. the kitchen and the tv. gonna do it tonight hopefully if i'm not tired.
my lil sis came up to me today and asked me if her badminton racket is original. i just cant stand the look on her face.. as in in a good way. kesian. she doesnt even know if it is. and what's even sadder is the racket isnt really a good one too. she decided to take up badminton as a CCA in school. i had to lie and tell her it's a good one coz i dont wanna bring her down. i dont want her to go to school and feel inferior when the other kids have so much better rackets than her. i want her to go for training. i want her to feel good abt what she's doing. i'm gonna buy her a racket today. hope she likes it. [080304,1615hr]
hope the rain stops soon though. please? i want it to stop. the morning rainis ok. dont make it rain all the way. i wanna go out to town this evening lah. please? havent actually watched last life in the universe. thinking of going to watch it today and i realised that the it's only til wednesday at cineleisure. what's great is all of the days it's at 2130hr. urgh. hope to catch it soon. wanna watch raising victor vargas and big fish too. anyone? ehhe.
made a couple of slow tunes on my guitar. cant record it now coz the whole house is full of noise. u;ve got my lil sis screaming. my lil bro jumping. the kitchen and the tv. gonna do it tonight hopefully if i'm not tired.
my lil sis came up to me today and asked me if her badminton racket is original. i just cant stand the look on her face.. as in in a good way. kesian. she doesnt even know if it is. and what's even sadder is the racket isnt really a good one too. she decided to take up badminton as a CCA in school. i had to lie and tell her it's a good one coz i dont wanna bring her down. i dont want her to go to school and feel inferior when the other kids have so much better rackets than her. i want her to go for training. i want her to feel good abt what she's doing. i'm gonna buy her a racket today. hope she likes it. [080304,1615hr]
credits
i totally forgot to put gregorx in my credits for my page. stole his idea and made this design. hehe. i really think he should still go into design. wish him luck for everything. :) hope to see this bugger soon. probably enxt week. hehe. seventy3's jamming.
i think i'm falling for someone. however, i think it's just attraction. maybe. this heart aches for you dear. i wish you were here.
mushy seh. tapi sedih tau. *sob*[080304,0301hr]
i think i'm falling for someone. however, i think it's just attraction. maybe. this heart aches for you dear. i wish you were here.
mushy seh. tapi sedih tau. *sob*[080304,0301hr]
relativity
late til the mornign hours and i'm still awake. helping soemone with her web stuff. i swear for once, my dreamweaver is disabled of its PREVIEW function. urgh. got me damn pissed and irritated. what is dreamweaver when u cant preview ur web? not dreamweaver.
went to bugis and city hall to get a couple of pics with ed and fai. apparently half of my pics i took are fucking blurry. shit. i hate it when that happens. but i did get a couple of nice ones though. very little but gd enough.
wonder what shaf got for her As. hope she did fine. miss the girl online. what msn detox lah shaf??? feels good? i cant live like that. haha. but i swear time passes by so freaking fast when ur online and talking to ur friends. kinda irritating. wish it goes a bit slower. haaah. humans. never enough of what they have. longer periods of time spent with your girl or guy. isnt it bliss? which also means longer fights. longer quarrels. longer hugs. longer kisses. everything comes in balance. i believe this karma. u start doing shit without realising it's your shit ur playing with. so look it up first k?
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." - Albert Einstein [060304,0456hr]
went to bugis and city hall to get a couple of pics with ed and fai. apparently half of my pics i took are fucking blurry. shit. i hate it when that happens. but i did get a couple of nice ones though. very little but gd enough.
wonder what shaf got for her As. hope she did fine. miss the girl online. what msn detox lah shaf??? feels good? i cant live like that. haha. but i swear time passes by so freaking fast when ur online and talking to ur friends. kinda irritating. wish it goes a bit slower. haaah. humans. never enough of what they have. longer periods of time spent with your girl or guy. isnt it bliss? which also means longer fights. longer quarrels. longer hugs. longer kisses. everything comes in balance. i believe this karma. u start doing shit without realising it's your shit ur playing with. so look it up first k?
"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." - Albert Einstein [060304,0456hr]
kiss me
had a really good dream this morning. felt damn real though i know it's not true. dreamt i kissed someone close to me. felt it so much in *here*(points to my ehart). but i dunno. i know it's never gonna happen. do i really feel like that in reality? wierd when i think abt it again. hope things will change. life's been boring. i'm changing my layout soon. got a layout almost done. copied it from someone. not really that original but i want something new on my site. old one's getting boring. oh yeah. gonna update the seventy3 website soon too. will update u on it! :) [010304,1533hr]
wakey wakey
kept on telling myself i'm gonna watch the man utd match last night and i fell asleep. well at least i know they lost now. 2-1 to porto. hmm. i used to be a big man utd fan. now i'm not really keeping up to any of the teams. but i still love watching nice golas and set ups. haha. my one dream of becoming a coach for a small junior club. well, no harm in dreaming.
somethign's wrong with my comp though. i cant seem to get rid of the pop ups. imagine this. i have gayworld.com ads popping up on my screen. shit boy. gayworld? if it was maxim or playboy i wouldnt mind. hahah. kidding. i'm clean ok? i'm clean. *riiiiiiiiiiight*
can a person like someone and not tell the person abt it? i like a lot of people. maybe it's just one of the commandments of a true guy. u just cant tell a girl u like her. it's like busting ur ego. letting ur gaurd down. and besides, i think it goes the same way for a girl as how a guy percieves it. if a girl comes up to u and forces herself down on you telling u she likes u a lot but u dont really fancy her, what's YOUR response? utter shock and run away even further. why? just a human thing i guess. unless of course the girl is some really gorgeous chick u know u cant lay ur hands on. then again, which guy is worth a girl's look? go figure. unless ur some hot rugby dude with a gorgeous face.
anyway, went out with shaf yesterday to sim lim to just explain to her the parts of the computer and how it functions. heheh. at least now u know how the inside of ur cmop looks like. yes shaf. dont be afraid to open it up. undress it. take off the covers. frolick ur fingers ard it. see where everythign is connected. hehe. well, had fun with her yesterday. brought her to that building everyone takes a picture of in bugis. that u know.. that ghostbuster building. yeah. we just sat at the front foyer and talked. amusing what we have in common. haha. dont think i've ever enjoyed stargazing as much as last night although the stars weren't that much. but it was fun. lovely. thanx for the evening. :)
the dead flowers i treasure so much.
"But better die than live mechanically a life that is a repetition of repetitions." -D.H. Lawrence [260204,1124hr]
somethign's wrong with my comp though. i cant seem to get rid of the pop ups. imagine this. i have gayworld.com ads popping up on my screen. shit boy. gayworld? if it was maxim or playboy i wouldnt mind. hahah. kidding. i'm clean ok? i'm clean. *riiiiiiiiiiight*
can a person like someone and not tell the person abt it? i like a lot of people. maybe it's just one of the commandments of a true guy. u just cant tell a girl u like her. it's like busting ur ego. letting ur gaurd down. and besides, i think it goes the same way for a girl as how a guy percieves it. if a girl comes up to u and forces herself down on you telling u she likes u a lot but u dont really fancy her, what's YOUR response? utter shock and run away even further. why? just a human thing i guess. unless of course the girl is some really gorgeous chick u know u cant lay ur hands on. then again, which guy is worth a girl's look? go figure. unless ur some hot rugby dude with a gorgeous face.
anyway, went out with shaf yesterday to sim lim to just explain to her the parts of the computer and how it functions. heheh. at least now u know how the inside of ur cmop looks like. yes shaf. dont be afraid to open it up. undress it. take off the covers. frolick ur fingers ard it. see where everythign is connected. hehe. well, had fun with her yesterday. brought her to that building everyone takes a picture of in bugis. that u know.. that ghostbuster building. yeah. we just sat at the front foyer and talked. amusing what we have in common. haha. dont think i've ever enjoyed stargazing as much as last night although the stars weren't that much. but it was fun. lovely. thanx for the evening. :)
"But better die than live mechanically a life that is a repetition of repetitions." -D.H. Lawrence [260204,1124hr]
filmmaker wannabe
me and fai got together last night to think abt stuff for the short film. for once i can say we're moving. haha. a few rather amusing ideas. really lokoing forward to writing it. anyway, gonna meet shaf later for a trip to sim lim. i gotta go look for a hard drive, a 128mb CF card and a small pouch kinda thing for the camera. heard from eddie the CF's at funan are selling pretty cheap.
i'm gonna put up a photo blog soon. i'll put it up on a link here when it's done. already thinking of the layout. one of my simple layout again. haha.
one can only ask. are girls more evil than guys? according to a poll on relationshit.com, girls ARE. how many would like to oppose this? can we say there are more cheating girls than cheating guys? but even if they are, why do we feel like we still need them? different people may have different responses but one thing for sure is that i have nothing against the female species. i think my species are worst of. i'd like to put it in this context. there might be more cheating females than males but the amount of torture from the word 'revenge' is totally out of proportion if viewed in the male's mind. guys mean more pain. i wouldnt wanna lose my female friends. i love them all. they keep me at bay all the time. so i'd love to thank them in fact for being in my life which is a very happy place.
"After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her." -Mark Twain [250204,1226hr]
i'm gonna put up a photo blog soon. i'll put it up on a link here when it's done. already thinking of the layout. one of my simple layout again. haha.
one can only ask. are girls more evil than guys? according to a poll on relationshit.com, girls ARE. how many would like to oppose this? can we say there are more cheating girls than cheating guys? but even if they are, why do we feel like we still need them? different people may have different responses but one thing for sure is that i have nothing against the female species. i think my species are worst of. i'd like to put it in this context. there might be more cheating females than males but the amount of torture from the word 'revenge' is totally out of proportion if viewed in the male's mind. guys mean more pain. i wouldnt wanna lose my female friends. i love them all. they keep me at bay all the time. so i'd love to thank them in fact for being in my life which is a very happy place.
"After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her." -Mark Twain [250204,1226hr]
emo-ing
feeling rather emotional right now. cant really say. i just feel like i wanna be taken care of by someone now. miss someone strokign my forehead. miss resting my head on someone's lap. dont get me wrong. i dont miss someone. i just miss the feeling. i wish there is someone there to hold me up when i am weak like this. it'll make it so much easier. so much better. in return i'll do the same for that person. be there, take care and make sure she'll feel like i'm someone she can depend on all the time. i miss being loved by someone. totally emoing now. someone hold me.
[240204,0257hr]
light cyan
#E0FFFF |
Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working. Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation. |
no image
dang it with the images. i dunno why i cant view em at all now. i'm gonna just put and image up inmy entry to see if it loads. hope it does. if u guys see the pic down here, please tell me abt it. coz i dunno if it's only me or it's the whole god damned thing.
some experimental shit i did. turns out quite ok. something is either wrong with my comp or the server. hope this doesnt have to continue.
the past few days was ok. the gig on sat had to be cancelled halfway coz of some stupid fuck who created a mess. the punks had their share for gatecrashing the whole event. nice work people. now it all has to end badly. so dont blame the officers for not allowing it to continue. if u dare fuck it up, dare to face it's consequences. u guys should have brought the whole matter outside. out of the gig itself. spoiling everyone's fun wasnt really the idea of a gig. for goodness sake. THINK. but u guys did take the matters outside. try dragging that fucker and beating him up to a pulp along the whole stretch of 300m of road. like they said. berani buat, berani tanggung.
after that was the chalet. gosh. forget abt that. i dont wanna sound liek a paedophile. hahaha. all i can say is.. girl, call me back in a few years. i would really love to talk then. :) hehe. took a couple of pics. most suck. the ones i took with dian were so much better. but i got a few good ones too. :)[230204,1218hr]
some experimental shit i did. turns out quite ok. something is either wrong with my comp or the server. hope this doesnt have to continue.
the past few days was ok. the gig on sat had to be cancelled halfway coz of some stupid fuck who created a mess. the punks had their share for gatecrashing the whole event. nice work people. now it all has to end badly. so dont blame the officers for not allowing it to continue. if u dare fuck it up, dare to face it's consequences. u guys should have brought the whole matter outside. out of the gig itself. spoiling everyone's fun wasnt really the idea of a gig. for goodness sake. THINK. but u guys did take the matters outside. try dragging that fucker and beating him up to a pulp along the whole stretch of 300m of road. like they said. berani buat, berani tanggung.
after that was the chalet. gosh. forget abt that. i dont wanna sound liek a paedophile. hahaha. all i can say is.. girl, call me back in a few years. i would really love to talk then. :) hehe. took a couple of pics. most suck. the ones i took with dian were so much better. but i got a few good ones too. :)[230204,1218hr]
dying.
the flowers outside have died. or dying. sad. it didnt even last long.
went to the beach to take pics with dian. took a couple of nice shots. gonna put them up in the blog soon. trying to get it going. i dont have dreamweaver on my comp. still cant change my layout. i'm gonna have to do add ons than a new one. i have to do something abt my hands too. they cant sit still. shit boy. most of my pics come out blurry. coz my hand moves too much. anybody has a solution for that? i need it.
found out playing ard with lighting is damn great. i realised i could just shoot my shortfilm under tungsten white balance and use natural lighting. it'll give this blue dusk feeling to it. pretty cool. that's what i'm thinking of actually.
20th was yanni's bday. didnt really get her anything. urgh. but we went out for dinner after that nice time with dian at the beach taking pics. so wished dian could come along. but it was fun seeing the girls from the other side ofthe room. again i was the only guy there. hehe. ;P might not have talked alot coz i stuffed myself with 3 plates of noodles. sayang tengok makanan tu. nangis die. cant help it. a wonderful day spent with wonderful friends. *hugs*[210204,0041hr]
the flowers outside have died. or dying. sad. it didnt even last long.
went to the beach to take pics with dian. took a couple of nice shots. gonna put them up in the blog soon. trying to get it going. i dont have dreamweaver on my comp. still cant change my layout. i'm gonna have to do add ons than a new one. i have to do something abt my hands too. they cant sit still. shit boy. most of my pics come out blurry. coz my hand moves too much. anybody has a solution for that? i need it.
found out playing ard with lighting is damn great. i realised i could just shoot my shortfilm under tungsten white balance and use natural lighting. it'll give this blue dusk feeling to it. pretty cool. that's what i'm thinking of actually.
20th was yanni's bday. didnt really get her anything. urgh. but we went out for dinner after that nice time with dian at the beach taking pics. so wished dian could come along. but it was fun seeing the girls from the other side ofthe room. again i was the only guy there. hehe. ;P might not have talked alot coz i stuffed myself with 3 plates of noodles. sayang tengok makanan tu. nangis die. cant help it. a wonderful day spent with wonderful friends. *hugs*[210204,0041hr]
single mushroom swiss
had a great time with someone last evening. watched a movie, helped her pick out clothes and basically we just talked and walked. haha. anyway, we went to bk to get some food. ordered a single mushroom swiss and the lady said they dont sell it anymore. but if i have a coupon they do. what? so in order for me to buy a single mushroom swiss i need to have a coupon? without it i cant have it? why? what's the fuckign diff? u still sell it right? if u wanna take it off the menu, take it off cleanly lah. dont leave the little bits lying ard. outrageous.
have u ever been attracted to a girl because of how strong she is? i wonder how many guys out there actually is like that. how independent a girl can be. how much strength she has in giong thru a tough life. it attracts me. but yet i'm looking for someone simple. someone who dont want much. someone simple. but u know. how many simple girls are actually out there? the rare breed. hehe. so i'll have to keep on looking. hehe. i'm not going to fall for someone just yet lah. not that i cant be bothered but i just wish for peace. a relationship requires commitment and no relationship goes thru cleanly like the happy couple in pleasantville. u all know what it's like. painful yet lovely. why do we go for it? i dunno. been trying to find that answer.
the flowers are dying. i dunno how to take care of them. the small ones are already brown. some of them. the roses however are still hanging on. :( makes me wanna start puting plants on my window sill. somewhat i pity the dying flowers. like a dying soul. i did what i can. put water spray water.. and it's still the same. hmmm.. :( lovely flowers oh flowers. everythign dies in the end.[180204,1305hr]
have u ever been attracted to a girl because of how strong she is? i wonder how many guys out there actually is like that. how independent a girl can be. how much strength she has in giong thru a tough life. it attracts me. but yet i'm looking for someone simple. someone who dont want much. someone simple. but u know. how many simple girls are actually out there? the rare breed. hehe. so i'll have to keep on looking. hehe. i'm not going to fall for someone just yet lah. not that i cant be bothered but i just wish for peace. a relationship requires commitment and no relationship goes thru cleanly like the happy couple in pleasantville. u all know what it's like. painful yet lovely. why do we go for it? i dunno. been trying to find that answer.
the flowers are dying. i dunno how to take care of them. the small ones are already brown. some of them. the roses however are still hanging on. :( makes me wanna start puting plants on my window sill. somewhat i pity the dying flowers. like a dying soul. i did what i can. put water spray water.. and it's still the same. hmmm.. :( lovely flowers oh flowers. everythign dies in the end.[180204,1305hr]
love. life.
valentine's was just over. first ever flowers i got from someone. thought it was kinda sweet. for those who just came here and read this first.. no. i'm not gay. a girl gave me the flowers. really really like it. gonna take very good care of it. hope it will last long. will keep it in water all the time. if i place it in soil, will it grow roots? hahah. i know nuts abt gardening. totally forgot pri 4 science. hhehe. really love these flowers. wish i could wake up oen day and see it bloom. wouldnt it be great? to see one of God's wonderful moments. love comes from a valued source. once the source dies out, the value goes. and soon the love will follow. gonna change my layout soon. :) keep updating! [160204,0201hr]
pissy
today's definitely not one of those good days. loads of work to do and i am rushing like fuck. agitated so fucking easily today. everythign's pissing me off. i hope i can finish my work in time tomorrow. i also hope for my mood to change soon. meeting the guys at 5 for a lil something and i sure dont wanna be in this mood. i dunno why i feel rejected. i havent done anything. it's a stupid mood swing damn it. i feel so sad and hurt all of a sudden. in need of some comfort. the world is crashing down on me. its walls slowly crumbling and falling pieces to my head. people.. pull me out of these rubble. please. i think i need a lot of rest. head is fucking up. malfunction! it feels good to know that i'm working and contributing to the family's finances. well i've not yet donated the amount i promised. gonna take em out first. didnt realise how much the bills were holding my parents down til i paid for almost half of it. cant believe their headaches. [070204,1520hr]
love vs money
in the great battle, which is victorious? some might say love is greater than money. some might say money is greater than love. i come to a conclusion love is equal to money in comparison to strength. one wont be as good without the other. like they say love makes the world go round, money does too. i'm just saying it's like the world is moving by the works of 2 motors. without one it moves 50% slower. that's all. anyway, i dunno what i'm rambling abt. money is also the root of evil. i wish i can LIVE without money.[050204,1918hr]
deviantart
the explorer in mac's fucked up. u cant view like TONNES of coded shit. there i am at the deviantart website trying to make myself a page where i can put up photos and art and stuff and what do i get? i cant even go update my settings. why? i cant even see the some of the coded stuff. happens to some of my friend's blogs too. hope i get my broadband back soon. cant wait to start surfing at HOME again. urgh this is irritating. the mac's pretty screwed up i can say. even the netscape shit they're using dont read html well. someone's gotta teach em how to read. wonder what the people at apple are teaching them right now.[050204,1411hr]
morning
i dunno what's wrong with me these days. been having very wierd dreams. long ones too. all of them make me feel like i'm awake yet still dreaming. i wake up and i myself am not sure if i'm still dreaming or not. is that some kind of psychological illness or soemthing? or is it because i'm too tired? i hope to finish all my storyboard by the end of this week. then it'll be bliss coz i wont have to do storyboards no more. haha. anyway, i lost a few points i had in my head this morning to work. cant remember what i was thinking abt. what happens when a couple breaks up? what is there to be salvaged and what is there to throw away? everywhere u go seems like the whole world is with your ex, doesnt it? every single thing reminds u of her or him. will that go away? i guess u gotta live with it or u'll be stuck there forever. met my ex recently but i just cant talk to her. no. not because i'm mad. i just dont see the point of doing it. i'm not gonna even try to grow back that friendship we once had. it takes effort and i dont wanna go in this pretense that i'm like who i used to be. seriously. it's tiring to make other people happy. why conform to society? why conform to what people want? it's my life. bad or good, i'm the one living it. i'm happy enough with the close friends i have with me today. i might not have many close friends.. maybe one or two or three but they're good enough for me to live the rest of my life with. hard to find people like these. :) here's to the bestest buddies i've got today. how far more can 10 years go? much longer. cheers. :)[050204,1127hr]
a better day
besides being down with the flu, the fever is not helping too. but i got some work done by today. really enjoy the ideas i come up with but it's taking me still a bit too slow. i've gotta work that head of mine to the max these days. even when i'm sick like this. 5 down 14 to go. man.. slow as hell. just that it occured to me, that is a lot of work. shit. gotta finish 19 by monday or u'll find my name under DEAD in the dictionary. eventhough i'm gonna get my pay, i dont really feel like splurging it. i dunno. just not in the mood. been feeling sick and down these days. maybe one graphics design book. probably that's it. sigh. someone light up my life.[300104,2104hr]
slow
i've been very non productive lately. very slow at doing my work. i'm very afraid if i am not able to finish it in time. i have to keep it going. i'm still very afraid. : ( i will feel really bad if i cant meet a certain deadline by the end of this week. that's.. 3 days from now. and i've done bingo. nothing. gotta rush myself tonight. dunt even know if i'm sleeping. lots to do. suppose to get my pay today but i feel really bad if i ask for it today since i got a warning this morning saying i've been working really slow. how? should i just tell shaun i just dont wanna work on this project if i cant finish 20 designs by the end of this week? i feel really bad but it's better if i tell him i cant finish it rather than make him think i can. cmon wan.. at least 5 by tonight.[290104,2009hr]
Happy Chinese New Year
a happy and prosperous new year to all my chinese friends. hope u guys enjoy uurselves tomorrow and the day after and friday and saturday and sunday. wow. that's a long weekend. well i get one too but it's gonna be filled with work work and more work. i'm also thinking of starting my runs again. how many times have i said that again? hahah uncountable. urgh. anyway, today really isnt a great day for me. i fried my brain the whole day. cant even think of a new idea. maybe it just needs mountain dew. didnt get any today. hope the next few days dont be this bad. well, i'd like to thank shaf for putting me in her line. yes. thank you. haha. thanx for tempting me with ur cookies thru msn the whole entire day. haha. i really wished i can taste some though. hehe. hope u guys enjoy the long holidays. : ) Happy Chinese New Year everybody.[200104,1910hr]
storyboards
update on my life. i STILL hate storyboards. gosh. now i'm gonna have to do TONNES of them. this kills me man. but i'm enjoying drawing the characters i come up with. i'm taking too log though. gotta hush wan.. gotta hush. my new computer's coming in on saturday. : ) finally. it comes with a digital camera as well. finally. haha. i'll carry it everywhere i go i tell u. hehe. dian bila nak gi amik gambar sama2 ni? hopefully soon. : ) i've gotta go over to saf's place during the holidays.. tomorrow's the last day for the week. no work on wed. my storyboards are killing me. yes yes. my retribution for not going thru mr juinn's storyboarding class properly. urgh. god i hate storyboards. everything still looks messed up but i hope it gets well over the holidays. i cant wait for my comp to come. then i wont have to worry abt not finishing up stuff in time. can always d it at home. excited and probably blabbering too much. oohooh.. pay coming soon. hahah. 9 more days baby. 9 more days. tit. tit. tit. encounting.[190104,2057]
sandara
hush hush today at work. busy drawing stuff. i am swearing off messenger from now on at work coz i think i'm more focused like this. sorry guys. i really miss u guys online but i gotta have to sacrifice some things sometimes. anyway, shaun was telling me abt a girl who worked here once. she draws really amazing amazing stuff. i think it's excellent. one of the best manga drawings i've ever seen from a singaporean. u manga fans better check her website out (www.sandara.net) and she does it damn fast too. 5 storyboards in one day. that's more than amazing to me. amusing brilliant absolute aweness. *salutes*[190104,2042hr]
stress on u
this morning i had my first review of my designs with the clients. been long since i've heard anyone criticised my work that bad. i'm not blaming them coz i know some of them suck too. well, i gotta start doing the stuff all over again but it's ok. i wasnt really briefed the first time. i think this time i'm sure i've got the target audience right. anyway, the creative director was an ass. my boss agrees too. these kinda people reminded me of mr miyagi but this guy is an even bigger ass. his remarks were so fucking blunt man. urgh. the more he cracks at my designs.. the more i'm gonna show him i am capable of doing even better shit than him. he might be the best in asia. i'd still wanna show him what i'm made of. my presence will be felt. 30 designs in 2 weeks? kinda tight but i'll make it through. i know i will. i know i can. again, my presence will be felt.[150104,2013hr]
pay
it's confirmed i'm getting my pay on the 29th of this month. just by saying this i'm d sure there's gonna be tonnes of phonecalls this feb. haha. kidding. i'm sure those who deserve it will get their fair share. already calculated how much i wanna save and all. amongst those things i wanna get with my pay is a good digital camera. think it's a good investment for myself and my family. but i think i'll get that camera with my second pay if not the first. gotta also keep in mind the transport fare and food (which i'm gonna starve myself for lunch). i may also wanna redo my lil corner. i wanna make it look nice. but what the fuck for? i'm staying on an island ive not gone before for 6 months. where's the fruit in that one? haiz. so shall i say the same thing abt my digital camera? hmm.. ok i cant make up my mind now. maybe i'd go buy my own bass too. the 3 things i really wanna do. urgh. so much i wanna buy. can buy but wanna save. for marriage. for family. for house. for renovation works. for future kid's education. for surround speaker system. for 42inch tv. for nice big fuzzy wuzzy bed. yeah. haha. ;P [140103,1547hr]
PJs
was browsing ard and looking for anything that has polka dots on them and kinda bumped into a few really cute polka dot PJs (http://www.bedheadpjs.com). hehe. i wish i could buy one and just keep it. why? coz i dont wear pjs. haha. maybe when i have my own house. just maybe. or maybe i'll just sleep naked. haha. well, was wondering how much each was and it could actually cost ard 300 freaking singapore bucks inclusive of delivery. gosh. it'll be a nice gift for someone. but shoosh.. what a bomb. besides, the model posing for it was nice too. haha!
have u ever felt hurt when the person u asked out kinda rejects u? i wonder how would a girl react to rejecting a guy while trying not to hurt his feelings. can someone enlighten me? it puzzles me a bit. i wonder why dont they just reject a guy bluntly yet i feel if a girl would reject me that way i'd feel rather shitty and then i'd wish she'd kinda do it gently. getting rather mixed up with my thoughts now. i would prefer if the girl would at least talk to me abt it. i think i can manage that. rather than keeping quiet and go on ignoring me. it'll be awkward but i think it's a hell lot better than facing a wall. i'm not sure. not really talked abt something like this with a girl. so someone give me light?[130104,1640hr]
have u ever felt hurt when the person u asked out kinda rejects u? i wonder how would a girl react to rejecting a guy while trying not to hurt his feelings. can someone enlighten me? it puzzles me a bit. i wonder why dont they just reject a guy bluntly yet i feel if a girl would reject me that way i'd feel rather shitty and then i'd wish she'd kinda do it gently. getting rather mixed up with my thoughts now. i would prefer if the girl would at least talk to me abt it. i think i can manage that. rather than keeping quiet and go on ignoring me. it'll be awkward but i think it's a hell lot better than facing a wall. i'm not sure. not really talked abt something like this with a girl. so someone give me light?[130104,1640hr]
2 months
just realised i hadnt archived my stuff since the last 2 months. getting harder to scroll eh? especially those without the scroll wheel. hehe. anyway, i've got monday blues. feeling damn shitty today. was thinking of going off early and yet i still go back home at 8. had a nice time chatting with shaf in the afternoon. needed that boy. thanx dear. cant help but notice the abundance of peepz putting their EYE picture on friendster. i dont get it. i know i've heard stories abt girls bitching abt each other on how someone stole their pics and shit. why bother? come up with a better one then if it really bothers u much. soon everyone will start the trend of having the same composition. and then it gets really bugging. u dont see one or two. u see tonnes of them having the same pictures. well, it might not bug them. but it bugs me. it bugs me to see inoriginality. it gets really annoying. yeah. so leave this simple mind of mine alone. bleargh![120104,2002hr]