NICEinc

girls and computers this is one thing i realised just after 2 days of interviews behind me. girls just dont go with computers. yeah. might sound very MALE, but kinda true. face the fact boy. i've got 2 girls who came in to interview for an editor role and both didnt know how to troubleshoot a comp. well, u see.. it's rather sad that out of these 2.. thier works are good. both came out on TV before, both had a lot of talent but both dont know anythign abt configuring a comp. imagine out of 5 girls who got interviewed, ONE said she is very fluent with computers. the rest got a lot of experience but the comps were done up for them by some other guy. so.. imagine that opportuinity u wasted boy. so my tip.. girls.. at least know basics on how to troubleshoot a comp. if u dont know how.. lie.. say yes and LEARN. at least u get some cash flowing. urgh. [080104,1927hr]

love read something on someone's blog. just a bit to add. when someone says he or she cant live alone, i guess it's just the dependent feeling of a past love. they tasted love. they tasted the affection. they tasted the goodness of it all. and they cant let it go. we're all human. so am i. but this feeling sometimes u wish u are with someone can bug u tremendously. especially if u've been single for a short period of time. i guess when u see it that way, u probably tell urself. i can't live without the affection. i can't live without the love. i can't live without that someone. bullshit. everyone can. i mean, for those who have not yet tasted the love, the affection and all, they've been living alone all their lives. they know they are independent. all i takes is a taste of that affection. lust goes a long way. that's all i can say. we long for our desires. we long for that feeling of love. all is in the mind babe. all is in the mind.
definition of 'mind' : the strongest part of your body.[080104,1306hr]

just another day man.. i'm stuck with this work i'm supposed to finish on friday. hmmm.. i wish i could do some editing or stuff. been ard for an interview with someone from suria. the trailer producer they call her. hmmm.. a lot of stuff on TV that i've seen. kinda cool. hope she gets the job here. it'll be great to know her. i still wanna do my own showreel. but i gotta stock up on my pieces boy. these people mean business. i gotta master my strengths too. i think i'm going to like it being an illustrator cum motion graphics designer much better than a graphics designer. i think that's my goal i'm chasing. one more resolution to my list. a damn powerful showreel.[070104,2038hr]

is this me? i'm still at work eventhough it's past 8pm already. i think everyone's gone back home already. my comp's down at home and i think i'm making full use of the free net i get here. haha. but yeah i still do my work. never been feeling more enthusiastic abt work. i gotta finish u a whole bunch more by friday. hope it's enough time for me. i really dont wanna put the peepz down. they really are very nice people. :) makes it more the merrier to stay here longer. well, i'd like to thank my ex for telling me abt the job. if not for her, i'd be at home and wasting my time. did i tell u my comp's gone? computer chair resident i am. still trying to find that bootable win2K cd. anyone? and also anyone with an illustrator CD.. for mac? i wanna use illustrator. i only have photoshop here at work and it fucking sucks to do vectors HERE! anyone.. please. help?[050104,2012hr]

wow i cant believe i actually enjoy working here. i mean i'd always thought i'd be dying since i cant even get thru school smoothly. scraps here and there but in the end i did it. still.. i'm enjoying work. i'm actually doin it. i mean... it's me. WAN. the one who does shit all the time. and i'm actually thinking of doing WORK. wow. great. good start to a good year. :)[030104,1625]

workplace am at work with kim. she looks totally tired today. probably didnt have enough sleep. i'd look the same way if i were her. well, here's a lil story. i ripped a large hole in my pants under the zipper area. very large. didnt realise it til i reached work and sat down. shoosh. still at work and its 2. yeah i know. hardworking? haha. maybe. but i dunno this place rawks. i love it here. i love the people working here. i love the job here. i wish i have a place like this at home. i still wish they have illustrator on the comps. wanna install but then what if somethign goes wrong? i dont wanna see that happen here. anyway, kim's gotta go by 3. so i get that much time left here. my comp's still down at home. anyone with a bootable win2K CD? [030104,1400hr]

happy new year will it be a welcoming new year? i dont really give much care abt breaking into 2004. spent the night sharing certain things abt my religion to someone. what is right and what is wrong. sometimes its kinda sad to know someone really close to me has had very little religious knowledge much less than i expected. ended up i spent my countdown under the stars sharing everything i have though is not much but at least it helped. had an open discussion with them and it feels good to know they are interested to learn more just that they didnt really worked towards it. opening up topics for them to view their uncertainties was kinda enlightening. we didnt even cared much that the crowd was counting down. we were still talking abt it. i'm not saying i'm a very religious guy. i know i dont know a lot more than i should considering my age but i wanna learn everything again. this time even deeper. new year resolution.. on par with being a good man, being a good muslim. [010104,0507hr]

new year's eve long time since i've written anything here. well, its the last day of the year. hope for happy beginnings and hopefully no bad endings. the day seems fine. just that i got whole lot of work to do now. :) working at reelloco has been great. only prob is i do not have illustrator installed. i need that man. thinking of bringing in my own pirated cd but i'm not sre if i'm allowed to. i'll go ask shaun abt it when he comes back. a well paying temp job. sounds really great. :) but i cant let them down. gonna have to prove myself here. u'r WORKING wan. hehe. change.[311203,1522hr]

project band i'm starting a project band. currently i've got me and my cousin in it. looking for a drummer. i'm thinking of playing songs of the likes of the foo fighters, silverchair, ben folds, lisa loeb-ish kinda stuff. hope u get the drift. it's just gonna be a very experimental project. so if anyone's interested in playing other instruments or sing something new, u can come and join us too. :) email me.[241203,0150]

change today's gig at the substation was awesome. i'm officially a black bicycle fan. the band was solid. totally awed me man. there were changes in the line up since the last time i saw them perform but hey, they sure sound great. will be there for their next gig. anvea, ur still the cutest. haha. the crowd wasnt that well due to the limitations to the tickets sold but it was worth the 5 bucks. truely. the bands put up a great show even though it's their first time on stage. my cousin's band put up quite a show on stage. i got their chorus stuck in my head. haha. anyway, bushmen's playing there on the 27th and they also brought in pop whizzee and elizabelle tears to stage. a definitely powerful line-up. i should be going. i wanna get presale tix. wonder if i can contact any of the bands. anyway, i've been doing a lot of thinking abt my life lately. life's getting better by the day. the future looks well. :) i'm planning out things for my portfolio. gonna review it again before the start of 2004. hopefully i could land myself a small job somewhere. :) but of course life cant be that wonderful right? i believe i'm in a changing phase and i'm stuck in the middle. i'm changing for a certain direction, a new me, but i still dont want to lose all of who i am before. is it time to look for new cheese?[241203,0141hr]

dian's open house dian had her open house thingee today. *smiles* well since i only knew dian, ernie and ramlah.. i kinda had an awkward time there. supposed to go with yanni but she had work and couldnt make it. it turns out i was the first to arrive and last to leave. *tak tahu malu betul si wan ni tau* i still dunno why i did that. everytime i felt uncomfortable when ernie or ramlah isnt ard, i thought maybe i should make my move but somehow i dunno why it felt like some force is telling me to stay. wait a bit longer and so i did.. and.. i made a couple of new friends at her place. very nice bunch of people. hehe. apparently 2 of them are getting married 2 weeks from now and i got invited! hehe. my first wedding invitation! so exciting! anyway, probly going with dian to their wedding. :) i also got to know nazry from the bunch who works for Darul's Galaxy Beat mag. kinda exciting if i get a chance to work with them but we'll see. i hope to show him some of my design work. who knows.. maybe i could get a shot at the designs for the mag. :) ok. i'm very very excited. wonderful wonderful day.. heeeeeeeee... *glowing* :)[221203,0138hr]

urgh how was today? hmmm. tiring. just went to top up my family's cpf account. then was off to beach road to look for my bro's stuff. did my afternoon prayers at the nearby mosque. how i wish sometimes i could just live there. it's so peaceful and quiet compared to the environment outside. harsh and so distracting. so hyped and frustrating. anyways, after the day out i went home to fix the plumbing. somewhat the sink got clogged up. so i opened up the whole pipework underneath it to discover that the clogging wasnt in the works under the sink.. but the pipe that goes under the tiles to the main pipes. shit. gonna go buy a long water hose tomorrow. gonna force that clogged thing into submission. :P[191203,0305hr]

really. i think this hate for you is doing me more harm than good. spent nights and days thinking abt how i'm gonna get over it. thing is i dont know. u tell me how to let the anger and pain go away permanently. maybe i guess we could just see what happens the next 7 years then. it's time. will return u ur burner as soon as possible. do i owe u anything else? i'm sure u've got a lot of friends who'd be more willing to fix ur comp for you. ignore me if u see me. i'll do the same for u. sorry if i was being such a bastard. guess this will be my last goodbye. i think i'm just gonna get away from it all. this time i mean it.cleaning up is the very worst part. -MxPx[181203,0411hr]

felicity couldnt sleep. so i ended up watching felicity on 5. today's episode rather brought up some shitty past. it's the episode abt felicity making out with noel behind ben's back. in a certain light, i see how hard was it for her to cope. she couldnt decide whether to choose ben or noel coz she loved the both of them. ended up she told ben she wanted some time apart. poor ben. i feel him. but what further sucks more is she still goes out with noel. u fucked this guy behind ur boyfriend's back, u know it's just going to put u in a fucked up situation and yet u still did it? i dont get that. and poor ben doesnt even know the whole truth. wait til he finds out. i wonder what'll he do. there was this scene where felicity interviewed this old married couple and asked them what was their secret to a long married relationship. they simply replied, forgiveness. u gotta learn to forgive. i wonder what ben would do. well u know what i think he'd do? i think he's just gonna pack his bag and leave for somewhere. never to come back. he's not going to scream at her.. but this heavy doubt he has in his heart wont make him give in. all because he just cant bring himself to trust her. as someone he once dated. as an ex. as once a friend. i dont hate u. i just cant bring myself to accept u in my life. i dont miss u at all. i dont care the least what u did, have done or is doing with him anymore. i just want to delete u out of my mind. the sight of u makes me sick.[171203,0435hr]

wow thought abt something during the evening rest just now. i know it was a point i want to bring up. cant really remember what. really sucks. in a slow mood tonight. kinda listening to soft sounds. i've got sheila on 7, ben folds, foo fighters somewhat on my playlist. i think it should match my mood. if only i have coldplay and travis on my comp. i think it'll fit just nice. still hangnig on to my ex's burner. wonder if i should give it back and buy a new one. hehe. amusingly i just realised i had the same cushion cover on last raya. the yellow one with the flower prints on em. gosh. my couch. my sofa. crazy. those were the days. i'm in the sky tonight. there i can keep by your side. -foo fighters.[161203,0101hr]

childish? i'm 21, waiting for my NS, well enough to be called an adult and i'm still a child at heart. is my mind growing too slow? well, went out with shaf yesterday. great gig. loved the bands performing all of them were awesome. and yeah, i realised after the whole day, how childish i was. i cant really put a finger to the reason of me being like this. is it good? or is it bad? i mean i know i CAN be serious when it's serious. i CAN be matured when i need to be but it's just not me u know. to me, SERIOUSNESS EQUALS TO MATURITY. where's all the fun in being serious right? i wanna be a kid but at the same time i know what i need to do with my life as a trwenty one year old. i'm 21 for God's sake. i know what i wanna do with my life. but i dont wanna give that lil kid up. i wanna be curious. always asking questions. be it caveman questions, unanswerable questions, crazy questions, anything. that's what my mind wants to know. so why keep it inside and dont let it out? curiosity kills the cat.. but a cat has been said to have 9 lives. so far i've only lived one. so go figure. i've got 8 more to go. haha. i know what maturity is and i'm beginning to feel it. just that most of the time i let the kid out. wont give him up for anything.[151203,1523hr]

infatuation? what's the diff between love and infatuation? what if u've met ur soulmate? what if ur already seeing her or him? would u like to get access to that classified information? oh how would i love that. i think i'm just thinking crazy thoughts now. besides.. i think i should try to enjoy my single life before someone takes it away from me. savour the adventures.. the moments alone. too lonely sometimes. ur closer to my heart than i ever thought in my mind. oh when.. oh when.. will u ever be mine?[131203,0115hr]

at last finally i've completed my supp paper for my module. what a relief. i mean i've been here for years and i think it's time for me to go and get some new air. i'm proud of my supp paper work. never thought i could do anythign like it. but i tried it anyway. hehe. i think i've really gotten over the bad past. i think i'm starting something new here. i feel better. a whole lot actually. why wasn't i like this 3 years back? well, going again to hid's tomorrow to help her out in her premiere and photoshop thingee. she told me to come at 8 in the morning. shall i surprise her and knock her door at 7? wahahhahahaha.. yeah.. nak kene pelempang boleh ah. haha. her room is one of the most peaceful places i've ever been in. so calm and serene. very nice place to do ur prayers. khusyuk habis nye.
have u ever got worried abt the changes u feel within u? like ur behaviour... the way u talk to certain people... ur temper.. have u? well i think ever since i've recovered from my downfall, i've changed in certain ways that i noticed. maybe so did others. but i sure felt it. are these good changes or bad? i'm scared but i know i'm gonna get thru it. i just wanna confirm myself here. how many of u are already over ur exs? and what if u bumped into ur ex one day lets say 7 years from now.. would u say hi? would u even give a smile? what if that person really fucked up ur life for that certain period of time? i wonder how many of u would actually. would u still feel the pain after 7 years? forgive and forget. easily said, so hard to do. i guess that's part of human nature. forgive is easy, forget is the hard part. how can u erase a painful past from ur mind? i adore those who can. :) right now i just want peace in mind.[091203,1702hr]

friendster hmmm amazing website these people came up with. a place where i'd wish i can find my old friends. which brings me a thought. saf wrote something in my testimonial abt stalking a former crush. haha. i wonder how she's doing. it's been like years and ages since i last saw her. she's probably all so grown up now. haha. it'll be great to see her again. no. this time i wont stalk her. hahaha. well, like i would be able to. haha but hopefully one day i could and i'd say.. hey, i know u. ur that someone i used to stalk... yeah. and then she'd be terrified.[181103,0132hr]

zara: gawd~ i love ur layout. its simple yet kinda sexy.. *shrugs shoulders* had to put that in here somewhere before it automatically goes into the trash in my tagboard. hahah. i like that tag a lot. dont ask me why. hahha. u always have a way of saying things in ur own ways, za.. heheh i like the way u said it was sexy. sexy. i like that word.[181103,0122hr]

true love ever wondered what true love really is? do u believe in such things? i think the greatest love of all should be the love for God. that is true. it beats missing that special someone. it beats that feeling u get when u are with her or him. i'm not here to preach. i'm just here to share my experience. to tell u the truth i've never been a good muslim. i dont complete my duties that i must carry out each day, the 5 prayers. it's always once or twice. or most times, none. then sometimes there's a long period of inactivity. my heart was never at ease. always thinking and feeling about earthly desires, forgetting my duties as a muslim. these days, my friends have helped me a lot by giving me moral support. be it they realise it or they dont. i thank them. it always comes back to self reflection. if i were to just take a peek at my sins right now, i'd go mad. i'd cry for endless nights. i've sinned so much. did things i shouldnt have done. i regret. if only i took more notice of Him.. if only i took more notice of Him. i feel this great remorse every time i hear that doa they always play on the radio before the azan right before the morning prayer. it translates..'God, i'm not good enough for Your heaven.' just that first line sets me to tears. we're never good enough dear. that's why we have to keep on reminding, telling ourselves how little we are. this is my new leaf. an aim i put on top on par to being a good man. to be a good muslim. [171103,0631hr]

boring sunday why are saturday and sunday afternoons sooooo bored? thank God i did something yesterday. had a good time with lat yesterday. no. we're just very close friends. no such thing as whatever. spent time with her at the lib and then we just sat down and talked. she's great company to have. i love her sooooo much. hehe. in a friend way of course. sunday's however rather boring. i think i'm going geylang later with my bro. wonder what he's gonna buy later. i'm not looking for anything in particular at geylang. maybe another cheap punjabi suit. i got bigger though since last year. well time to shop for a pair of pants.. and a shirt. any ideas guys?[161103,1617hr]

dance with me just had a thought about dancing. i dont think i can dance. so far noone's been able to get me dancing. how sexy. how hot. how busty. noone. and then these words just start appearing in my head a few minutes ago in the bath. word by word. line by line.

dance
will you dance with me dear?
i'll dance tonight,
that night only.
when the moon is up and the sky is lonely.
i'll dance with you, my wife,
for no eyes to see,
there's a special place
we'll dance alone, only you know..
you plus me.

[151103,2222hr]

Happy Belated Birthday Isa! well, isa's my big cousin. he just turned 19 on tuesday. didnt really forget his bday. i just forgot about it after monday. honest. anyway, things have definitely changed ard me. OH SHIT! i just remembered abt my cousin's bday invitation card!! damn it. i was suppose to finish it up for her today. rush rush. have to do that by tonight. i gotta see how fast i can think of an idea. ok. grandmama's making nasi briyani today. cant wait to eat. haha. u know single life aint all that bad. u get to do things ur way and noone's there to stop u. and u know u can lash out sarcasm at ur ex (if ur on good terms again) and she cant get mad or scold u or what. she doesnt have the right to. i'm not hers anymore right? and the best part is u dont feel too bad urself. [131103,1753hr]

KDJ still lives had a great time jamming with shah and yan. amazing. today's jam session is what we've been missing all these years. sounding was great. my singing was up to pitch. i didnt crack my voice at the high notes. superb. it felt really good. :) anyway, probably this is the last time we're gonna jam together before shah goes for an operation on his right shoulder tendon. he ruptured his right bicep. kinda scary. after tuesday he'll be with an arm sling and probably not be able to play the guitar for 6++ weeks. totally not in time for our gig in January. dont really know if we should find a temporary replacement or just cancel our slot. hmmm. new original's coming up. hope it's gonna be good. i cant wait for shah to get well. get well soon. :)[081103,0027hr]