Kureno crowed aloud at 06:43 p.m. --

Sunday, June 29, 2003

Constantly, I'm amazed. Amazed at how, if I sit down, and start to read a story, how I'm sucked in. How I just watch it unfolding in my mind, let the events twist in my gut, my heart, sometimes even my soul, if it's written well enough... how the time seems to stop, and at the same time, disolve and slip away, so that when I break from the daze of this other world and universe, I see that it's hours later. I am contsantly amazed...

And once I am out of that trance, I am jealous. Jealous that I can't create soemthing like that...I want to make people feel, enjoy, cry. I want to create somethign people want to loose themselves in, like I loose myself in other's stories and characters, and whole new worlds...

and then I realise I don't have the time... that I can't yet od what I truly want to do. And after spendign hours, staring at a screen, or paper and text, I am alone. Just as alone in the room as I was when I started, only it feels more empty. The music that was playing in the background the whole time comes back to me, and I realise I've just wasted more of my day. Life presses in on me.

I live in a fantasy world half the time. And I like it there. My parents dn't udnerstand half the time, I don't think. All cretaive minds live in fantasy worlds to some exstent. We're just good at putting out a normal face when we have to. I don't want to put on a mask anymore, but until I move out, I'll have to. I can't go breaking my parent's concept of me so easily. I have secrets. Few, but they exist.

I know what I want in life, even if most people don't believe me when I tell them. Yes, I'm young. I'm 17. Normal 17 year olds don't know what the REALLY want... but I've never been normal.

I need to go eat, and clean the house. I've been putting it off for some time now. My parents will be home tonight... and mom will need to see a clean house, or she'll have a fit.

Kureno crowed aloud at 01:27 p.m. --

Saturday, June 28, 2003

Wow. June has been a very full blogging month. Amazing. Well, the month's almost over, so hopefully this page won't get too much longer. However, I do have a lot to babble about right now.

First, I have so much to do today, it's not even funny. it's about 12:00 right now. I have to go to my friend's graduation party at 2:00. BEFORE I go to her graduation party, I have to clean the house, because my room and the computer room are both such MESSES it's ridiculous. Gotta change my sheets, COMPLETELY re-organize my room, clean up the office (which is LITTERED in papers and CDs from my anime burning frenzy) and vacuuming might be a good idea too.

So, yesterday, I was just poking around, and not doing much. I went to class, and then got home, and...had full intentions of doing my homework, but ended up just meandering around the house, dust mopping, vacuuming, and the like. Then Kelsey came over with her boyfriend, and we went out for Pizza, and then came back to my house, and we were GOING to watch Spirited Away...except oen of Robin's friends called and was like Dude, you said you were gonna come with us to see this movie on opening day. The movie was 28 Days Later. Well, Kelsey and I both got dragged to see it as well. Kelsey, because Robin was going, and me, because Kelsey didn't want to be the only girl. The movie was horrible. The cinematography was like a bad student film, the characters and their relationships were contrived and just...wrong... and there was so much gore and grosses, that I spent half of the movie with my head burried in Kelsey's shoulder. Am SO GLAD I didn't pay for it. But, Kelsey and I were so mentally scarred, we had to watch Sweet Home Alabama before we went to bed.

So that was my night, in a nutshell. Probably I night I could have lived without.

It's getting later, the longer I sit here... and I really have too much to do. I'm almost odne downloading episodes 67 and 69 of Inuyasha, so I'll be able to start burning those episodes to disks again. I could have just come back to that chunk of episodes, but all the files are different sizes, and so the number of episodes I can fit on each disk varies. ::Sighs:: I did get the movie burned to disk. Each HALF took an entire disk. O.o Craziness...

And yet, I'm stupid enough to be re-downloading Card Captor Sakura. But hey, once I downloadthe first batch, I'll see if the video quality is really WORTH it, before I download the entire series again, and waste both computer memory AND perfectly good blank CDs.

I need to make up a nice happy sheet that's a guide to which volumes of my Inuyasha CDs have which episodes...and I'll laminate it, punch holes in the lamination, and put it in the 3-ring binder with the CDs. ^_^ I also need ot eventuallyget around to makign those nice labels for all my CDs.

On a random note, gave my parents 3 numbers to play for me at Kino... I won 85 bucks. Score! Of course, they SPENT 10 dollars to get that much, so I suppose I really only made 75. Still, that is a nice chunk of money to put towards textbooks. Hell, that could probably pay for my entire Sango costume... but, I'm still gonna make some dolls to try to sell, to get more money. The more the better... my checking account is dwindling. I need to figure out another way to make money... if only I could convince my mom to let me use her E-bay account to sell my Ayashi no Ceres DVDs, and some of my other less-valued anime emrchandise... maybe my Magic Knight Rayearth tapes... They're dubbed, and I doubt I'll ever watch them again...but I WOULD like to keep them around, to show my little cousins once they're old enough...I also need ot train them in the art of subtitle-reading. ^_^

But...duty calls.

EDIT, 5:20 PM

Went to the party, and bailed after an hour. I knew MOST of the people there, but I was never friends with them. I felt so out of my element. ::sigh:: oh well. Came home. will have alone time until kelsey gets off form work around 11 tonight.

Kureno crowed aloud at 12:24 p.m. --

Friday, June 27, 2003

Gyeh. I need to learn to actuallly blog legitimately once I have gotten over a TAM (Teenage Angst Moment). My parents left for Las Vegas this afternoon. They'll be gone until sunday, but Kelsey is staying with me.

The dogs usually sleep downstairs with my parents...but tonight, one of them is at the foot of my bed as I'm writing on my laptop, and th eother one is outside my door. My dog snores. I didn't know that. XD Well, it's one way to tell if she's really actually asleep. Maybe she's always done it, and I've just never noticed because I've never been in a quiet enough room. it's kidna cute, actually.

Kelsey brushed my hair before she went to bed. I feel so incredibly relaxed...I don't want to have to get up and go to school in the morning. But, I suppose I have to. I'll just take a nap when I get home. Mmm... I love Naps. Naps are wonderful, wonderful things...though quite a waste of time.

I finished the Kouga/Ayame video this evening, and Ilana wasn't even on for me to show it off to. ::pouts:: Oh well. I shall dangle it before her tomorrow. I should also do my art history homework tomorrow, if I plan on passing this next quiz. ::swirly eyes:: I hope I pass the CLASS...

My rammblings are incoherent tonight. It's 1:30 AM; what did you expect? I'd like for tomorrow to be a productive day...but it probably won't happen. Missed Eve today, but I knew she wasn't gonna be on anyway.

My hard drive is full. extremely. I need this damned episode of Inuyasha to finish downloading before I got burn the next disks. Damned continuity. But then that's what makes anime fun.

...now BOTH my dogs are snoring. next, it'll probably be Kelsey. I should sleep too, but I'm the middle of RPign with Hibari, and I don't wanna sleep...

Kureno crowed aloud at 01:36 a.m. --

Monday, June 23, 2003

I...had a lot to babble about but...suddenly it's all gone as my brain has slipped into one of my depressed, angsty teenage moments.

I wish Eve, or Ilana were on, so I'd have someone to curl up in the lap of (so to speak) and vent my teenage frutration to a sympathetic ear. Even K-chan or Kim-chan would be nice... they always cheer me up...

Is it really weird when you consider your friends online as... more understanding of you than some of the people you see face-to-face on a daily basis?

coherent blogging tomorrow, after class.

Kureno crowed aloud at 11:48 p.m. --

Saturday, June 21, 2003

Okay...wow, lots to babble about. Went to the graduation ceremony last night, as I'd planned. The ceremony started at 7:00... Now, my graduationw as only an hour and a half, and there were 410 people in my class. I graduated from the same school, and THIS class of only about 300, tool an extra half hour. Not that I noticed until I was on my way home. Kelsey had originally told me it started at 7:30, so I was almost late. -.- I had to park up the street at the Park and Ride, and WALK about 8 blocks to the school. Then, I got there about five or ten minutes before the ceremony started. I'm glad Kelsey's family saved a seat for me. I'm also glad I brought a pillow to sit on, because if I hadn't my butt would have been SO SORE. And with all those poeple crammed into the gym, it was SO HOT. I'm glad I wore my peasant blouse with the split arms.

Afterwards, I met Kelsey at the cement benches, where we'd agreed to meet. It was so fun, she was bouncing off the walls! I remember being on that end of it, and it was nice to be on the other side, the observing side. I was amazed how many of my old friends I'd forgotten were Juniors. So, I wasn't just there for Kelsey. ^ ^ I found Tina, and that was great fun as well. We talked for a while, and agreed to call each other this summer, now that school is out of the way. I alsogot to see and say hello to Sarah and Sheri, my old Girlscout troop leader. it occured to me as I saw their smiling faces and got hugs from them, that really, I stoped liking girlscouts after Sheri quit. It wasn't fun anymore. I also go to see my old history teacher, Mr. Deligan. ^ ^ He was one of my favorite teachers, and it was great to see him again. Going to this Graduation was almost as fun as my own. in fact, in some ways, it was better. I didn't hafta feel like I was beign ranked against the kids in the class. I was there as an observer, a loved one, and I could be excited completely and totally for them. ^ ^

By the time I got home, it was 10:30. Long night, though it went by REALLY fast. I didn't have much time to study, but ya know what? I wasn't that worried. After taking the history half of my midterm this morning, I can honestly say I think I did alright. ^_^ That was a big relief.

Well, I thought about it, and talked to other people about it and... I'm starting an Inuyasha RPG. Chat based. Probably will meet once a week, on weekends. It won't be SMI, that's for sure...nothing can be like SMI...but it should be pretty fun and amusing, none the less. At the moment, Ilana has Kagome, Kohaku, and Ayame. Keryn took up Rin and Shippou, Kim nabbed Miroku and Fluffy, and I was left with the heavy weight of trying to do a proper Inuyasha (and Kaede.). Now we just need SOMEONE to pick up Naraku... and Kouga, of course. At Eve's reccomendation, I may ask Keryn about that one (Kouga I mean).

Kureno crowed aloud at 09:24 a.m. --

Thursday, June 19, 2003

Yesterday was the 1-year anniversary of my highschool graduation. Tonight, my Oneesan graduates (okay, so she's not REALLY my older sister, but she might as well be, we've known each other since I was 5 and she was 6), and tomorrow, I have the second half of my art history midterm. Bwah...so...to releave the stress, here's some fun stuff! Bumper stickers, and Quiz Results!

"Every day of my life, I'm forced to count the number of people who can Kiss My Ass."

"Not all who wander, are lost."

"The force is like Duct Tape; it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together."

What Is Your Animal Personality?
brought to you by Quizilla

Back to studying before the graduation ceremony! ::Flees!::

Kureno crowed aloud at 05:15 p.m. --

Sunday, June 15, 2003

Okay. It's the middle of JUNE, and SIX of the furuba layouts are up. There's ME, Kim, Sophie, Ilana, Erin, and Wen (Kureno, Ritsu, Hana, Kisa, Uotani, and Kyou respectively). That's IT. Anyone else think we should change the official month to July? Oh, and Ilana, I liked your link format so much, I'm stealing it. XD

Wow. It's not THAT late, but I'm exhausted. Well, a lot hath transpired in the past 24 hours. I think my head is still sorta spinning from it all.

So, Corey and Crystal and Andrew all came over yesterday. For most of the time, I got to study in peace, while the boys washed the cars as payment for the Dining room furniture we got for Corey and Crystal. Then, I went out to get bread out fo the freezer for sandwhiches, and CRYSTAL, says rather nonchalantly "Hey Krystal. Andrew's in love with you." Well, I took it as a joke, laughed with the boys, and moved on into the house. Crystal later elaborated, and told me that he'd asked her to tell me. Well... I like I Andrew. He's like a brother. But you don't have romatic feelings for your brother. Crystal probably exagerated the matter as well, or so Andrew said. I dunno. But yeah, so I'm now a bit peeved at Crystal, because it really wasn't her place to jump in and meddle like that. Apparenlty she types up a big long SOMETHING, and saved it on her computer, and told Andrew he had until Monday to talk to me. Maybe HE doesn't care, but it bothers me.

So anyway, they all stayed for dinner, and then we watched Inuyasha until about 1:00 AM-ish. Then, we all got in the car, and headed out. Well, as we're driving along, I hit a small intersection, and the light turns yellow. So, my brain goes "Shit, I can't stop in time" and I was going 5 MPH under the speed limit... so I step on the gas a little and get through the intersection. Then, there's flashing lights behind me. Oh shit, this guy is pulling me over. SO, I get through the NEXT interection, whihc wasn't far from the one I went through the yellow at, and pull over. Yadda yadda... I was extremely calm, considering, and I think the cute young patrol officer let it slide, because really, it wasn't illegal to run a yellow light, and also, because I had nothing on my record, and I was OBVIOUSLY sober. And because I was just out taking some people home. Just gave me a warning to atleats TRY to stop when a light turns yellow, and then sent me on my merry way. I'm just glad I had my Insurance card on hand, and the registration in the glove box. Provided I had an EXTRA, EXPIRED copy of both in ADDITION to the current ones, which ate up a little time, because I just happened to grab the outdated ones first... ^^; But, I got off with just an "Okay, you just gotta TRY to stop."

So yeah... that was interesting. Then, today, we went to visit my dad's side of the family, for Fathers Day. Yeegads...I love my family, but they can be such energy vampires. X.x I spent most of the time AWAY from them, drawing. My Cousin's little girl Myiah came in though, and wanted me to draw a picture of her... so I did. ^ ^ then the other little girl she was with wanted me to do a picture of HER too, so I did! ^_^ Their mom's were rather amazed, and were gonna frame the pictures. I feel so special. I alos did little doodles, including doodle of Miroku, Sango, Kagome, and then a sketch I'm rather proud of. It's a full-length picture of Miroku and Sango embracing and kissing. I think Eve-chama will approve. I kinda drew it because "Broken Road" was stuck in my head. I intend to re-trace it, and probably color it in photoshop. ^_^

So yeah...I'm exhausted. I hafta study hard core tomorrow. I have a good feeling about this half of the test though. I'm now more worried about gettign my parents web page done, studying for the HISTORY half, my sketchbook, and all that other stuff. Oh, and now poeple are putting in my head that I should Cosplay as Garnet from FF9, and also as Ukyo from Ranma 1/2. @.@

Need sleep, I think.

Kureno crowed aloud at 11:58 p.m. --

Friday, June 13, 2003

I am SO messed up. I woke up at 7:45 AM , went to class, got home at 11:00, and wa awake until 1:30... at which point, I got sleepy, and decided to take a little nap. Well, a "little nap" turned into a LONG nap, and I didn't wake up until 5:00. So, my body thinks it's the middle of the afternoon, when it's really 6:30. @.@ I'm gonna be up all night, I think... it's already 11:30 and I'm not tired.

I had a bizarre dream while I was napping. Hibari was getting married to a guy who goes to my school. I almost missed the very small wedding, because they told me they were gonna get married, but didn't say when. Then, there was something else COMPLETELY unrelated about a "Halo Demon" and Hibari and one of her friends were like, magical girls. It was fscked up. I told her about the dream, and she was like "go me!" I told her if she ever meets a glasses-wearing Video Game Programmer by the name of Russel, she is to smack me upside the head for my Psychic tendancies.

I hate my Art History class. I really do. It is HELL. I'm just glad I don't hafta take it during the normal school year, or I would most likely fail it for SURE. @.@ I found out today in class that our mid-term is gonna be divided into two parts: the Design-related stuff on Tuesday, and the history stuff on Friday. That sure makes MY life easier... if only just a little bit.

Tomorrow, Andrew, Corey, and Crystal are coming over to wash the cars, as payment for the dining room set we got Corey and Crystal at a Garage sale. I hope I get some more studying done though...

Talked to Kit-chan tonight about Cosplaying. She told me the best, and probably cheapest way to put the magenta on my Sango yukata, would be to buy some good fabric paint, a sponge brush like for stenciling, use masking tape to mark off the areas, and paint them. ^_^ That was a very helpful tip. I also am thinking I may use my OWN hair for Sango...in which case, I will buy a headband, and put DOLL hair on it for her bangs and forelocks, seeing as I...lack bangs. I dunno how well it would work. Asusming I didn't push the headband too far back, it MAY work...I dunno. I may end up just getting a wig. We also talked about how I'm gonna build Hiraikotsu. I was thinking coat-hanger wire and masking tape, then paper mache, in an attempt to make a hollow center...then Kit suggested maybe a styrofoam core or chicken wire. I think I may go with the styrofoam, as I don't feel like buying chicken wire. Super glue the styrofoam together, do a layer or two of BIG sheets of paper, for the top coat...paint, and then spray with water-proofer stuff you buy at craft stores...add leather strips and beads, and the carrying strap, and viola! ^_^ Eve-chama said if I make Hiraikotsu well, and she ever decides to do Sango, she'll just borrow mine XD

I've watched up to episode 64 in Inuyasha, as of the moment. I'm still waiting for a couple of episodes to download... but I am so in WUB *_* Obviously, since I'm cosplaying Sango. ^______^

Shit, I hafta get around to making those buttons for the marathon.

Gotta go back to studying though.

Kureno crowed aloud at 11:22 p.m. --

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

Wow. Shit. Okay, yesterday sucked.

After studying all weekend for three quizes, and then taking all three quizes in the same day, and FAILING all of them...my brain hurt. -.- I also realised that if I want to pass my midterm next Tuesday, I have to put my social life and all other projects on hold and STUDY this entire week. Today, I'm planning on wipping up the buttons for the Furuba Marathon, which Kim-chan asked me to do, and then I'm going to be going through ALL my old notes, typing them, adding notes based on pictures, print them out, and studying those like a mo-fo for the remainder of this week.

As long as I'm writing I may as well do a brain-dump.

Been talking to Lizzie. ^_^ We're planning on doing a duet for Karaoke at next year's con. Right now, We're planning on singing My Will, dressed as Kagome and Sango. ^_^ I think we could easily win Bets Duo/Trio/Group performance, considering there's never very many groups, and the gorup that won this year wasn't THAT good... We're just not ENTIRELY sure which song. I like My Will, but if Liz wants to do another song, that's fine with me. We've already agreed it'll be an Inuyasha song though.

Been thinking about Inuyasha cosplay stuff. Liz told me a good way to get the pink parts of Sango's yukata would be to maybe stencil them. I've also been mentally trying to figure out exactly how Miroku ties that purple sari-like sash around himself. I may not HAVE to though, since Nate isn't sure whether he likes Inuyasha yet, or not. So, we shall see.

After school, a dentist appointment, and then having to go out to dinner with my entended family, my day was pretty much SHOT to shit. So, I spent most of yesterday burning files to disk. Mostly my video files. I'm still not quite finished, and I still haven't deeted soem of the files, because I Want to make sure the disks don't get damaged, and screw me out of ever havign those files again. I plan to make a quick run to Target, or some other similar store, and buying on of those CD holder thingies, just for my Anime CD's. Maybe while I'm out, I'll go get CD Labels too. I want to make these CD's look nice, and have them clearly labeled, instead of just writing on the grey backs of the CD's themselves. I'm a perfectionist, and a sticler for detail, in that sense. :P

As I was burnign all the episodes of Digimon Tamers to Disk, I got to thinking, I should make a Digimon Music Video. Veyr few people do that, and when they do, they tend to be really crappy, and usually set to a song from the series. -.- I found a song that has Ruki Potential...but we shall see.

By the way, Eve-chama, I fit all of the Tamers dub onto seven disks. Not bad for 51 episodes. Did you still want me to mail them to you after you return from your jaunt around the world?

I've been musing of a new layout for my main index page at soul-mirrorNET. Something very simple, like a Table of Contents, with an image on the side... I was thinking a girl holding a hand-mirror. I'm debating between using one of my own characters (either from the RPG I'm in, or maybe from Divine Stretch), doing an anime-self-portrait, or doing a fanart. Decisions...

Which reminds me that before I do that, I hafta finish the new layout for my Parent's website. -.- Poo. Always SOMETHING that hasta get done first. How frustrating.

I stole a survey thingy from Nate, but I'm waiting to use it, because it's rather interesting. Not like any of the survey's I've really seen before. I also found a SUPER long one, and I mgiht some day get around to filling that out. If I did that though, I'd hafat make a separate page for it, and jsut LINK it from the Blog.

And speakin' of Blogs, since I'm getting started on writing again, I should REALLY make a layout for the fic blog. I also figure dout how I'm gonna end Chameleon. ^_^ I wasn't too sure, until a converstaion I had with Eve a few weeks ago.

But, I'll be heading out now. I need a shower. BADLY. Not to mention all that work I hafta do. ::Sigh::

Kureno crowed aloud at 11:10 a.m. --

Sunday, June 8, 2003

I love you, and I want to have your babies, Ilana. Okay, so not really, as that's biologically impossible, and I never want children, but that Human Inuyasha video was...so...PERFECT. I LOVE YOU, Love you, LOVE you! ::Glomps Ilana:: I think you only hafta send me a cuple more videos before I have them all and can post them on my server.

Now that I got that bit of fangirly repsosne out of the way, onto more important things. I'm basically going to heve to start killing myself again. I have to start on those dolls to sell, plus school work. Also, I haven't even STARTED on my 300 pages of extra credit for Art Class. In addition, I want to be around for SMI more, and I need to start thinking about DS some more. I promised Hibari three DS related pictures by Wednesdya of next week (not this wednesday, but the weke after). Also, gotta work on desgining that website for my parents, as I realized the other day that the wya I have the graphics will look good in 800x600, but not in anything bigger. ::pouts in frustration:: However, I also have my mid-term coming up, which I'll have to be studying for this week as well. Myeeegh...what a pain.

Inuyasha episodes still aren't finished downloading. Thats' okay. I'm watching little bits at a time. I keep havign to disconnect Kazaa every time dad needs the internet. I'm kickign ymself for not remembering to turn it on while we were all gone tonight, as we were gone for about five hours.

What were we doing? Well, we went to see 42nd Street. ^ ^ That was cool. Especially fun for me, since I felt really special, knowing the opening tap routine by heart, and knowing that I could do all the dance steps the performers were doing. ^ ^ Very fun. I love Musical Comedies.

I really don't have much else to say, except the usual. Which I...think I already covered above. I'm gonna crash earlier than usual, so I can get up early and get to work on my studies. -.- Summer school sucks. Atleast I'll be done by mid-July.

Because I haven't done anything non-babble-ish in a long time... Here's a Quiz, that I think eveyrone and their goat has taken. Okay, new tradition. I'm gonna take this test Twice a year: Once in Summer, and once in Winter, and see how I change over time. ::nod:: That aughta make thinsg a bit mroe itneresting. As of the moment though....

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