would anyone believe it if a prostitute cried rape?
is john travolta fat or beefy?
what are sigur ros' lyrics in english?!
why do i leave assignments to the last minute?
why do drivers put ugly spoilers on their cars?
how do EMTs cope with their occupation? emergencies.death.blood.suicides.death.sickness.blood.death.guilt.blood.emergencies.ambulance sirens..on bad days.
saving a life. delivering babies. bringing back heartbeats. feeling like god. saving lives..on good days..
just watched "bringing out the dead"..this ol' nic cage movie..it was pretty confusing, distorted, depressing, manic, gross, poignant, ironic.. but i guess so is the life of a paramedic. god bless 'em.
Frank Pierce: Saving someone's life is like falling in love. The best drug in the world. For days, sometimes weeks afterwards, you walk the streets, making infinite whatever you see. Once, for a few weeks, I couldn't feel the earth - everything I touched became lighter. Horns played in my shoes. Flowers fell from my pockets. You wonder if you've become immortal, as if you've saved your own life as well. God has passed through you. Why deny it, that for a moment there - why deny that for a moment there, God was you?
ok ya...got carried away..but just..one of those "hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." moments. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Saturday, February 26, 2005 05:27 p.m.
to-may-to, to-mah-to
went to the mama shop, bought 3 tomatoes and came home with only 2. realized the plastic bag had a huge hole only when i reached home. so i looked out the kitchen window (where i can see the mama shop)..and trailed my walking path with my eyes and my eyes caught this red dot at the pavement near the bottom of this stairwell. ah that would be it. the dropped tomato. i didnt go back to pick it up, although it was within a short walking distance. i mean, its just one tomato right? would you have picked it up? i told my mom and we just laughed over it. my mom continued her surveillance on that healthy tomato lying alone on the concrete. while washing the dishes, she kept me updated, "eh everyone just walk past only, nobody picked it up." and i'm like.."why would anyone pick it up!?"...hmm..after all its just a healthy, fresh, dropped tomato? can still be washed and eaten right? hmmmmmmm...which leads me to wonder...are we too affluent or arrogant to pick a lonely tomato? tomatoes that probably the poor grew in their farms, who earn less than the cost of 5 tomatoes in a month..ah well..the poor tomato...hahah..but then again..i may be over-reacting or over-ignorant..hmm..but the tomato's already washed away by the rain by now..and yesssss..it's rainingg againnn...weeeeeeeeeeeee
ok...gonna head to the airport now...say "bye2, so long see u again, my friend" to shaz..i hope i can go brissy in june..i hoppppppe..ok shall head off now..i will NOT get lost i will NOT get lost i will NOT get lost i will NOT get lost i will NOT get lost i will NOT get lost i will NOT get lost i will NOT get lost i will NOT get lost i will NOT get lost
Thursday, February 24, 2005 01:12 a.m.
aku menulis bukan kerana nama
there is no such thing as "bedtime" when you're 20. *gasp* i'm 20? where did all the nights go..?
---------
he was a skater boyyy, she said 'see you later boyy.. he wasn't good enough for.....'
lookey here..mm mm..i am lovin the new 'do and you would too...
"jangan kau pandang wajah yang indah,
kerana ia bisa meracunmu.."
theres more to like than just ramly burgers you know.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005 08:07 p.m.
love thy neighbor
will someone buy me a GPS system? pleeeeeeeeeez..*blink blink*
------------
last night, my neighbour from my old estate came over. their son's gonna get married, so they came to give the invitation card. that was nice. seeing them made my mom go on a frenzy of reminiscing our old place, where there were so many kids, where there were a row of friendly neighbours who exchanged samples of their cooking almost every other day. whose children played together. i used to go for tuition at the ol' couple's house, their daughter taught me maths or sumthin. then one day i got second in class and the old lady hugged and kissed me like i was her own kid..haha..most of the memories of my old neighbours were good la.
but nowww...ugh..i have a neighbour downstairs who karaokes as if they own the entire block..the neighbour beside me has a dog named kuku, who barks at me if it sees me coming home..and im not talking bout a "hey nice to see you" bark..muahah..ya la..me and bitches..we dont get along..then the neigbour beside this one has a newborn baby, whose blessed with tina turner lungs and blasts its stereo voice once in awhile..then the neigbour upstairs..god knows what these pple do..sometimes we hear kids running around..with freakin heavy irritating footsteps..sometimes we hear roller chairs rolling..sometimes something heavy drops with a huge thud suddenly causing us to jump out of our seats...the hell?? so ya..basically the neighbours suck here. the woes of living in a hdb environment.. but our interiors are cozy and the air is good and its near IMM..haha..i don't foresee us moving..i hate moving..i think i lost alot of stuff when we moved..o well.
be good to your neighbours now.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005 12:49 a.m.
"I want to be someone else or I'll explode.."
...floating upon this surface for the birds
[respect. i dont ask for much.]
...I'll be waiting. with a gun and a pack of sandwiches.
and nothing. nothing......
Monday, February 21, 2005 12:00 a.m.
just got back from the uk fun fair at woodlands with shaz, shrek, aini and bur. got on the g-force..oh my GOD..that was what i kept screaming my liver out.."OH MY GAWWWWD!!!"...another spin.."FARRRRRK!!!"...another spin "OH MY GAWWWWD!!!" and it goes on and on like that..closed my eyes for the first half, it was deliriously horrendous, aini kept telling me "Azzz..u shd open your eyes!"...i was like "fuckkk nooo!"...aini sure not?! u opened ur eyes ah? sure notttttt...muahaha...the second half was not bad coz we were flung backwards, so i managed to open my eyes. the suction of gravity was not as bad this time..but i continued my "OH my god" and "farrrk" screamings coz i was on a momentum..haha.then it stopped and we were dangling like i dunno...20 storeys high..while the pple below alighted...finally i could breathe in the entire view...of the mrt, hdb flats and jb(?)..both of us were like.."shit! that was sooo goooooood"...15 bux to have your organs spinning like in a washing machine but its alll gooood...thank god aini accompanied me coz i was almost gonna go on it alone..coz the others 'ayam-ed' out..hehah..shaz shrek tryyyy..once in a lifetimmmme..coz when shaz asked if i would do it again, i said no..
so before we got on the g-force, i warmed up on the haunted train ride..hahaha..if u ask me if it was scary..i dunno la..we were screaming..but once the door opened at the end we laughed our ass off..
And to think that the fair is from UK, where they speak english, you'd think at least they'd know how to spell "eerie"...oh well...we went on the "eRRie" train ride..(we thought maybe its so spooky the spirits 'disspelled' the words. hahah)..it was kinda spooky..if you have a good imagination..it was just me, shaz and shrek on the 'train'..screaming before even entering..then there were supposedly eerie sounds and then a white furry thingy above us sorta swept our heads..and then i felt someone..yes SOMEONE..tickling.touching me on my left while shaz's hair(i hope) was tickling me on my right..or shes just tickling herself with her maggie(but funkadoodle) hair, which was why she kept fidgeting to her left and then her right and then her left again. it was so dark, couldnt really see much..my imagination was running wild..like urband legends u know..like what if we came out with one of us missing..or having an additional passenger behind us or something..eeek *hair standing*...
so then when it finished in like 30 secs..we realised it was pretty much darkness, white hanging thingies and some hands and our imagination that made us scream..wahahaha..well..unless the hands were............................
hoho.
ok had fun la. could use a lil screaming. cathartic. i told shrek..c'mon..take the g-force..its like the kinda experience u gotta do before u die kinda thing..(ok maybe i was tryina persuade her with a long shot..)..then she said .."ya..or it could be u could do this and then you die kinda thing"..muahah..i'm still aliiiiiive..just glad i wasn't flung to jb.
Sunday, February 20, 2005 06:43 p.m.
november rain
These February days are fervently stretching with a yawn, armed with long afternoons and smoky lawns. The wave of rising temperature undulates beneath the naked sky. Busy streets disguised by shades on eyes. Behind the windscreen, I see a filtered vision of the air; atoms in a frenzied state under the sunlight stare. Flowers flinch from roaring dressing-down. Grasses parched by ironed shoes.
Shall we chastise the sky so it will cry again?
Thursday, February 17, 2005 10:00 p.m.
what women really want..
a period cramp painkiller pill that bloody works (no pun intended)
.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005 09:01 p.m.
BMW short films (click on picture to get to site)
I thought this was pretty cool, although it's kinda a BMW advertising/PR kinda thing but advertising/PR in a rather creative concept. These are a series of short films, shot by very renowned directors. All of the films have one thing in common in that they all have to include a BMW car and Clive Owen as the driver in the plot, and the plot can go crazy and are all very different but there will always be a BMW and its driver in it. Check it out. you can even play it with the director's commentary on. and you can even download the films..legally!
Personally I like Inarritu's "powder keg" the most. His film was the first one i clicked on coz i loved his work on "amorres peros" and "21 grams"..but guy ritchie's piece was entertaining..and guess who's the surprise guest star in his short? wahaha. Oh, wong kar-wai's piece comes as a close second although i think his was the one that had the most "advertisement" feel but i liked the narrative.
alejandro gonzalez inarritu
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ok i should really be busy with more pressing stuff..but i've realized that i should give myself a break sometimes (not that i never, i just give too much)
last night, in my daydreamed procrastination, i wrote a redundant procrastinating daydreamer's essay:
its sad the way I live my life..I go on a permanent high riding on blissful ignorance..once in awhile it's like I run out of dope, that's when reality sneaks into my numbed senses..then my heavy hand starts to fill the calendar with things I give too much to but dont receive much from..deadlines sink into my 'lines of death' like a car that cruised into a quicksand..and then..and then the need to constantly reassure myself that I'll be okay becomes like a drug..its a 'mono tone' cycle of a wheel subservient to wear and tear..a wheel that never felt its share of reverse..that's just spinning its revolutions towards the edge for if columbus was wrong. a wheel..a circle..a circle has no sides. no sides...a circle has no...........
...and then i fell asleep and continued my reality cycle in the morning.
everything's good if you can sleep it off.
Monday, February 14, 2005 09:50 p.m.
sweet is not always sugar.
I roll the window down
and then begin to breathe in
the darkest country road
and the strong scent of evergreen
from the passenger seat
as you are driving me home.
Then looking upwards
I strain my eyes and try
to tell the difference
between shooting stars and satellites
from the passenger seat
as you are driving me home.
"do they collide?"
I ask and you smile.
with my feet on the dash
the world doesn't matter.
When you feel embarrassed
then i'll be your pride
When you need directions
then i'll be the guide
for all time..
for all time...
["The passenger seat" - death cab for a cutie]
_____________________________________
if you dedicated a celine dion song for your girl/boyfriend this valentine's..well shame on you. muahah. why take a song which has words that a 5-year-old can say and understand when you can borrow songs that are the sweetest but not obviously said. that sinks the deepest but not painfully forced. but hey, if celine dion rocks your boat, then rock la. but personally........
Azzz's list of favourite love songs, (the "you don't have to say I love you to say I love you" way) - not in order of merit. haha. :
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1. Lasse Lindh – c’mon through
“it ain't so easy to love you true,
account of all the rattlesnakes and all that makes you blue
but it's worth it, i love the thrill…”
-----
2. Sarah Mclachlan – ice cream
“Your love is better than ice cream
better than anything else that I've tried..
Your love is better than chocolate
better than anything else that I've tried.."
-----
3. Beta Band – to you alone
“you do not realize the lines that run from me…
across the universe
to you alone, to you alone…”
-----
4. Lauryn Hill – water
“Melting down the walls of inhibition
evaporating all of my fears
baptizing me into complete submission
dissolving my condition with his tears
he's just like the water….”
-----
5. Mazzy Star – fade into you
“I want to hold the hand inside you
I want to take the breath that's true
I look to you and I see nothing
I look to you to see the truth."
-----
6. Azure Ray – I will do these things
“I will take your childhood dreams
And turn them into beautiful films
I will take your most important things
cast them gold fill a museum…”
-----
7. Chantel Kreviazuk – green apples
“you're toast and jam
and you're cotton candy
you're double rainbows beside a setting sun
you're wood burnin' outside
there's a fire growin'
you're sweet as green apples
you must be the one..”
-----
8. Bright Eyes – oh, you are the roots that sleep beneath my feet
“Oh, you are the roots that sleep beneath my feet
and hold the earth in place
each time a curtain opens
sunlight pours in
a lifetime melts away
and we share a name
on some picturesque grave..”
-----
I love that Bright Eyes song the most..so bloody sweet I could bleed.
someone serenade me quick.
Sunday, February 13, 2005 07:57 p.m.
shut up just shut up shut up
crap. my neighbour's at it again. wailing their lungs out to a, as simon would put it, chocolate and onion combination of "singing". seriously, if you wanna build your own world of "pretend-to-be-a-superstar" karaoke system, do you have to let the whole block listen to your worse-than-amateur screaming? and oh, i havent even started with the choice of songs...muahah..tipah tertipu..omigod..i'll Show you how it is actually possible to rap out of tune alright.. ah huh..seriously thats a pretty funny song but to hear them sing it with such zest, that i can just imagine the forced seriousness on their face as they "croon" that stupid line "tipah terrteee-ee-pooo"...ahahah..and then i wonder why i'm wasting my time imagining such things...and then i look out the window and i swear i see my mom's bougainvillea half-wilting as i type..god help the residents of 288A.
...and does sushi and sashimi taste as good as how the food-tester expresses it in japan hour? once there was this woman host who ate a freshly-caught oyster. the diver just caught it, came to shore, opened it and gave it to her, it was huuuuuuge..and she bit it and it sounded like she was biting off a rabbit's ear..and then her eyes popped out and she orgasmically exclaimed "oh-eeeee-sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"..(japanese for 'delicious')with the intensity of a wrestler's ego-talk (you know like how bret hart likes to go, 'Im the best there is! the best there was! the best that'll ever be!' and then they roar in a testosterone-releasing macho-ism)..muahahah..they like to eat it rawww..so so raw..i don't get it..i s'pose they love the thrill and trickle of a fully-conscious animal struggling to get out of their bowels. imagine eating..ummmmm..raw escargot..muahah..its almost fear factor territory aint it...
no matter what, i'd like my food cooked..thats why they call a fully cooked steak "well done".
Friday, February 11, 2005 10:54 p.m.
sand on my feet and then the waves........
my butt is still aching from cycling..
ok not the best line to start my entry..but hmm...chalet was fun la..altho short..and daym..time flies when you're having funnn..and to have school on friday after havin wednesday and thursday off is just so so *&#$%@ up. its just.not.right. grr. but oh well.
2 days and 1 night with kool and the gang is not enough..ya la..its never enough..but at least got to skate a lil, cycle a lil, bbq and eat alot, sleep on the mattress at least..haha..watch american idol, amazing race, harold and kumar, me(!) in a split second appearance on tv, play 5 alive (altho nobody knows who won, but we know who lost! hahah) play mastermind.(that is one cool game i tell you..you'd need lotsa props..and a blanket is always helpful..no make it 2..wahahah) watch the sunrise, watch good friends learning to blade and then fall (and then me being the good friend laughing at em)...
and then zpppppppppt...back to school and work i used to love but have grown not to like(i think interests go through a mid-life crisis also, but nevermind, complicated story)..nevertheless, thanx for the escape! you guys rock my socks. no bullocks.
ecp sunrise (yes this was taken in singapore)
Tuesday, February 8, 2005 12:37 a.m.
i am not as think as you drunk i am
how do i tell my mom that i'm not that keen on eating something she's cooked a million times before to death? howwwwwww...
and seriously, why do old people think rice is like oxygen? my mom shoves me rice when she thinks i havent eaten rice for days..like i'd die if i don't eat some every 48 hours.i eat potatoes, bread, noodles..rice is not my favourite carb..its..i dunno..boring?
mm hmm. they say be nice to your kids, they're the ones who choose your nursing home. heh
i jest. i really do. reallyyyy.
Sunday, February 6, 2005 11:27 p.m.
"I need a simple kind of lovely and the thought is just a novelty..."
film analysis modules are time-suckers. i love watching films, yes, but when you have to analyse and watch some scenes over and over after watching the whole film, you just wish you could stop the clock for awhile, 'coz bloody heck, my whole day does not and should not revolve around a single film.........................................
so many things to do, so little time. whats new. tell meeeee..whats newwwwww
bad week is gone..i could use a better one to whomever concerned.
"lazy sunday afternoons" are extinct. that is so fucking sad.
Saturday, February 5, 2005 12:38 a.m.
..there are no heroes in her scars
Not the best week i've had but it hasn't ended, i'll give it that much chance to redeem itself.
but then again, why should i rely on circumstances to make me feel good? it's like as if i'm blaming the wind for not blowing the magic wand my way...that magic wand that will put all things in place, make it all perfect. so what if shit happens? shit happens to everyone.....................you cover your nose and you walk away.
the world does not owe me anything, let alone good fortunes.
Wednesday, February 2, 2005 07:49 p.m.
stiffen that upper lip up, 'lil lady..I told ya....
...everything's gonna be alright.
this is the northeast view from my bedroom window. i'll give you a hiro cake if you can tell me the address (if you don't already know where i live that is).
TidBitzz