i am scaring myself with the sound of my breath everytime i take a huge breathe-in after a cough. i go "hrrrrrrrrrrrrK". i sound like that when i laugh too. sounds asthmatic. but i don't have asthma lor. and i found that i couldn't sing in my upper register..like it would just come out in careless whispers..hahah..but singing is the least of my concern of course. my throat just feels itchy and congested although my nose is not filled with phlegm. my body's health is sitting on the fence, like it cannot decide whether to fall sick or not. flaky eh. so i'm bordering on fever..slight coughs and very scary-sounding breathing sounds. woohoo.
but all's good. i still managed to drag myself to kallang (for what i thought was a job interview) just to fill in a bloody form. roh-jier (roger) you cheeet my feelings hor you. coz of this i couldnt drive my parents to golden landmark or sumthin today where they had to pay for our thailand tour next week. guilty. but they didn't tell me earlier they were goin today. so ya. not that guilty. roh-jier said i'll know in 2-3 days time. ring phone ring.
my aunt's getting my help on finding a franchise opportunity here in singapore. something along the lines of old chang kee and polar puffs, cept those are not accepting any franchisees. anyone has any other ideas?
-----
i can't read lying on my bed. no matter how gripping the book is, i drop dead in 5 pages. i think if i'm seriously considering to finish a book, i should read standing up, pacing around the room. yea. "do-a-little-dance-get-down-tonight"
-----
watched the pilot episode of "lost". i loike. although not recommended if you're gonna fly off somewhere soon. eek. matthew fox-y ages like wine. i miss 'party of five'. wonder where's scott wolf..another good ol' wine dude. oh and ian somerhalder has hypnotizing eyes. i wonder how some people are born with just that one feature that defines their entire look. like its the first thing you see when you see their face and the last thing on your mind after that. for most people i would remember their entire face as one whole. oh its hard to explain. ian somerhalder and his eyes is like gerard depardieu and his nose. 'cept umm...one i'm hypnotized by, the other, i'm just amazed, to put it kindly.
-my realistic ian somerhalder daydream-
ian: *swaggers up to me and smiles* hi azzz, how you doin'?
azzz: *stares at ian so intensively until crossed-eyed* hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?
ian: *looks left looks right for the exit*
-----
ok. i'm gonna go eat some tiramisu while completing my singapore presidency form...ahahaha.
pfft. my cat could win Ms Universe.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 09:55 p.m.
###
Sunday, May 29, 2005
"lip-syncing is an art" - milli vanilli
watching 20/20 on channelnewsasia. they just did a story on naomi campbell and her cocaine addiction, lindsay lohan and her media whore dad and thennnn...ahhh...you havent heard nothing yet. this one...
did you know? that cabins in cruise ships where you pay almost $2000 a day (or was it a week?) have dried urine and semen stains all around? they turned off the lights in these rooms and used those blue light thingies that CSI-ers use...and discovered..*gag* dried urine and semen stains on the blankets, the fridge doors, the walls, even the *gasp* bible!
---
-20/20 interview-
20/20 reporter:
why do we find all these funky things in the cabins?
some-sorta-"funky things"-expert:
(as-a-matter-of-factly) i can't tell you, i can only use my imagination, and i suspect that's what these people were doing also.
BWAHAHAHAHAH.
oh but no worries. the report says it doesn't pose any major harm to health. Gee. THAT's comforting. why'd you have to tell us the disgusting find?!? u just took away my right to be ignorant. they can sue for these type of stuff in the US no? I have the right to be eek-no-run mon. word.
---
my throat feels dry. its hot in here and i've to wake up at 6am later for work. i'll be late. yea. i'll tell em i have car problems. yea. i'm so psychic.
toothpastefordinner.com
-----
now remember kids..."And if it hurts, it's probably worth it." - The Beach
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 12:42 a.m.
###
Friday, May 27, 2005
dancing with my wooden shoes....
*burp*. hi.
watched star wars with iman just now. it was ok la. im not a big fan but yoda rocks my knee-length socks. there was an ah pek beside us who was sleeping with his mouth open. he was like that before the movie. and like that during also, so we both wondered if he was actually alive. but he walked out fine after the show. hm. maybe he has noisy neighbours. maybe only the star wars theme song can lull this insomniac to sleep. hm.
had some prata after that then headed to school for a meeting. oooo...rainy dayy...i was supercalifragilistically extra alert when driving. haha. felt quite bleargh when i reached home. like the muak feeling. felt like puking. maybe it was the greasy tissue prata. took 2 panadols and a fruit. and voila! i'm good enough to sleep now. remember whenever you have the muak feeling. think lemon, lime or orange. or better still, bite into one.
i yam so broke. thanx for the movie treattt! its not that i dont trust you wokay, just...ummm...clarifying..and like i said..being polite. hahah.
i love every song they play on 'one tree hill'. this show rocks my ankle socks.
the world is difficult but sleeping should be easy. gooooood nite.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 01:21 a.m.
###
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
shhhhhhh...
the other day at the library as i headed towards the fiction shelves, tra la la-ing, looking forward to get some good reads..suddenly out of nowhere a loud umm...bowel gas explosion uhhmm...exploded. it shocked me so, i stopped on my tracks, with a "siala, what the hell was that?" to myself. it came from my left, from this middle-aged woman on the borrowing counter, so i figured, since she was the only one at the counter. she must've been like 10 metres away from me but daymmm, it was like a digital dolby surround sound fart la. i can't spell it. like..umm...*bR-bR-bRRRROPPPP(!!!)* lidat. ya it came in 3 parts..wahahah..i told you i can't spell it. macam scrambler tak tau malu. (like a scrambler with a vengeance) its funny how everyone around acted very "oh-it-must-have-been-the-air-con-vent-or-something" and ..i must've been the only one who stopped in my tracks, gasped to myself and turned my head with an "ew"+shocked expression. the gas bomb source was tra-la-la-ing pretending nothing happened ah. and then ummm...i brisk-walked on my way lest the bomb was toxically airborne.
no i dont think i was over-reacting. it's the library leh, if i can turn off my phone, can't you turn off your ass?
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 09:34 p.m.
###
Monday, May 23, 2005
"tiredness fuels empty thoughts..."
my entire playlist is now on alphabetical order. had too much of damien rice and denali tonight. oh god. damien rice. i wish i could date damien rice. and then he'd write a song about me with secret metaphors. and speaking of damien rice. i just figured "the blower's daughter" is an ode to his clarinet teacher's daughter whom he had an infatuation with. ahhh..if only my dad was a clarinet coach.
-----
im·pulse (n.) ['im-"p&ls]
Latin impulsus, from impellere to impel
a. An impelling force; an impetus.
b. The motion produced by such a force.
A sudden wish or urge that prompts an unpremeditated act or feeling; an abrupt inclination: had an impulse to run away; an impulse of regret that made me hesitate; bought a hat on impulse.
A motivating force or tendency: “Respect for the liberty of others is not a natural impulse in most men” (Bertrand Russell).
---
i just have a burning question before i go to bed. where does impulse come from? the heart or the mind or the brain or divinity(if you believe it) or............just some place where no one knows. no one. hah.
-----
Older chests reveal themselves
Like a crack in a wall
Starting small, and grow in time
And we always seem to need the help
Of someone else
To mend that shelf
Too many books
Read me your favourite line....
...She broke down the other day, yeah y'know
Some things in life may change
And some things, they stay the same
Like time
There's always time....
damien rice - 'older chests'
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 12:47 a.m.
###
Saturday, May 21, 2005
the name's Bon. Bon-nie.
this new feature of letting others in your msn list see what you're listening to is embarrasing.
like... o shit. i didnt realize my playlist is suddenly playing "lindsay lohan - rumors". wahahahah...hey..its..ummm..a catchy song k.
-----
i'm not one for forwarded sms-es. some of em are sweet la....but i prefer a "hey how are you" personalized sms. so speaking of forwarded sms-es...
got this from Y diddy..yesterday i think.
Y diddy: Describe me in ONE WORD, juz one! send it to me then send this msg to 10 friends & see how mny wonderful/strange things people think about u! Txtback pls.
me: can i cheat and say 3? you're my pimpdaddypoliceman.
Y diddy: wicked.
me: mememe?
Y diddy: bonniewithoutgunandmask
me: Muahahah...the hell..."All i need in this life of sin........"
Y diddy: haha..ready B? HAHAHA
me: ok dah. stop pimpin'.
and no..i didn't really ask 10 pple what strange/wonderful things they have to say bout me. i think Y sums it pretty well. im bonnie wthout a gun and mask. (auditions for a 'Clyde' starts on vesak day. floss your teeth and join the part-time queue.)
yea, and you know what. this bonnie might just put on a stinky primary school hankerchief mask armed with a pistol made of lego bricks and rob a posb atm or somethin. i know you hate repetition. but i'm hoping repetition will thin its meaning, so i will just say this: I'm broke. I'm broke. I'm broke. I'm broke. I'm broke. I'm broke. I'm broke.
also, i need to rant bout something, but i don't think i should be premature in my judgement. but then again, i've always been lenient in my judgement. i don't like politics going on behind my back. even if it has nothing to do with me, can you please leave me out of it? what's my rant again? o ya. life's unfair. life's unfair. life's unfair. life's unfair. life's unfair. why do i always give so much and get shitty returns?
word of the day: QUIT.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 09:56 p.m.
###
Friday, May 20, 2005
i hate the money-sucking aspect of this world
a couple of hundreds setback. no insurance claims, since no other cars involved and i fukt it up myself. i overheard my mom saying, "ganas nyer anak aku.." (so violent, my child), after my dad described the extent of the damage to her. Mommmmmmmmm, it's not like i purposely rammed the car into the wall like the peugeot ad guy did ok. slippery roads are my new phobia. my dad is the only guy who always comes through for me, my knight in shining armor. if only we hadn't just paid for road tax, we would've scrapped the amah teng and get a new car. argh well...now i have to raise half of the cost. god knows how, but i will have to if at least to feel the pinch of a lesson learnt. i have realized the responsibility of a driver. once a friend told me he didnt wanna learn driving 'coz he didn't wanna constantly be responsible for people's lives. i thought it was ridiculous. but i know now. i had a passenger, and i was responsible for my passenger's safety. wasnt being responsible was i? am i reckless? i'd like to do a poll. tell me tell me straight up, dear passengers. keep it real.
and as i've said in my now-gone-and-swallowed post, my so-called friend (whom i was subtly(?) referring to in the previous post) and i..we topped a heart-to-heart whirlwind conversation with a fist-to-fist goodbye gesture. with the promise not to become self-absorbed material-chasing individuals. there was also the agreement of how hypocrisy is innate, its within each of us always, if we accept this, forgiveness is so much easier. so long as we know, fingers point to others but always more to self. let's keep the honesty. life is simple. truth is not.
i need exercise. and another job.
fate, sometimes you don't come through for me.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 04:03 p.m.
###
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
dust in the wind
relationships go cold with time...gotta keep making fire..keep making fire...else time will turn us into ice.
i was just wondering how so-called "people persons" do it. the "i love meeting people and making new friends" type: how deep or superficial are your relationships with your 786 so-called friends? how do you keep up? if you make your existence known to me once a month, its hard for me to call you a friend, just so you know - but of course, we're all busy people arent we, it's hard to find time i understand, but if you want something and you make the effort, it aint so bad. so who am i to you? hum aapke hain koun! (hah. ok i hated that salman khan movie.)
dear, take it but don't break it.
it's the same old song...am i just a drop of water in your endless sea?
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 1:02 a.m.
###
Monday, May 16, 2005
absence of important guests at the star wars episode III premiere:
natalie portman's hair!!!
omigosh, where'd you put your hair girll?!?
yoda says: "god my oh! wear a wig, you must."
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 10:24 p.m.
###
Monday, May 16, 2005
taking pictures of the balcony 'coz romeo never showed up
i love the cosy confines of my house. credits go to my parents who have excellent taste in interior decorating. (cept sometimes they dump alot of dont-wanna-throw-away junks in my room or under my bed).
i was bored. so i took pictures. of my balcony. hah.
...have i bored you yet? well... coming up next...the dining room!
ok. fine. i'm kidding.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 04:01 p.m.
###
Friday, May 13, 2005
house of whack
caught 'house of wax' with sharm. fucking gross movie. see, the villains were basically siao-liao-lor wacked-in-the-head mentally unstable human beings (which wouldn't really be scary since half of the world's population's like that already)...they don't have ghostly or spiritual kinds of villains, so the horror level had to depend on no-holds-barred in-your-face bloody gory-ness, the kind that can suck the lunch out of your stomach la. so they had explicit limb-slicing, finger-snipping and ummm...forehead-stabbing shots that were so brutal, the camera felt like a microscope.
halfway through the movie, there were about 2 or 3 pple who left, like took their bags and left. (maybe they thought they were in for a madame tussaud documentary or something, i dunno)..but it was freakin gory la. it was like *SCREAM* *LAUGH* *SCREAM* *LAUGH*..wahahah..not coz the dialogue was oh so witty, but it was just ridiculous that we were sitting through this bloody crap (pun bloody intended). when those people left, sharm and i turned to each other and wondered why we're still here also.. then chad michael murray swaggered in at the next scene and then the both of us stayed put...and tolerated the next half of the movie sunken in our seats with the sweater-in-front-of-our-eyes-as-self-censorship everytime a victim screams helplessly...although i sneaked a peek and kinda enjoyed how paris hilton was killed...MUAhahahah. even if you hate gore, i suggest you catch the movie just for that scene.
..and chad michael murray of course..
and oh..another thing. what is with these stupid hollywood horror shows? why can't we have villains/ghosts actually make the effort looking for their victims instead of victims literally running towards the villains?? reminded me of this line in 'Scream' (my favourite hollywood horror trilogy by the way)
Phone Voice: Do you like scary movies?
Sidney Prescott: What's the point they're all the same, some stupid killer stalking some big-breasted girl who can't act and is always running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door, it's insulting.
always know..alwayssss..the victims lock themselves in with the killer. bodoh nak mampos.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 11:29 p.m.
###
Thursday, May 12, 2005
who said nice guys finish last?
OMFG! the amazing race finale was just WOW. bloody excellent editing man. my heart skipped so many times!
first it was ron&kelly in first place, rob&amber behind, then uchenna&joyce who were last, overtook rob&amber after romber were stopped at a police road check..but then uchenna&joyce had a flat tyre then rob&amber overtook them. so uchenna&joyce came in last and had no money for the next leg.then next leg somehow rob&amber came wayyy ahead and uchenna&joyce were wayyyy behind..but they alll bunched up somewhere and all were in the same position again, then rob&amber fell behind coz amber couldnt find the place where she had to jump off on, but they caught up with the other teams on the way to the airport and got an early flight, and uchenna&joyce got the pilot to let them in the same flight. ron&kelly were ignorantly last. and then when they reached miami rob&amber were ahead but the cab driver couldnt find them the cigar place where the name of the place had to be translated to spanish. then uchenna&joyce got lucky coz their cab driver asked for directions from someone in spanish, so they reached first..they were a couple of metres from their million-dollar pitstop BUT had to beg for money for cab fare coz they just wouldnt leave the driver whining stranded there while they run to their million-dollar destination (i dunno why..too nice la too nice)..so all this while rob&amber were in the cab on their way towards their final destination already after going round and round to look for the cigar place. and the scenes were juxtaposed such that it was like..so motherfreakin close between uchenna&hoyce and romber. (ron&kelly who?) and then uchenna&joyce finally managed to raise 50 bux or so from strangers for their cab fare and ran the last stretch and won!!!
hahahah...wooooooo!..reality tv high. i was kinda behind romber but i thought uchenna&joyce deserved it coz joyce had to shave her head at one of the fast forwards. so..ok la. weeehooo. i still think rob is sexy tho. the way he occasionally surprises us (well, me anyway) with his handyman skills and street smarts and the way he's so so so driven to win..i love that "i gotta win or i'll die" look in his eyes. ooo..smart and driven and appreciative of his gurl...sexy sexy. but he's not as nice as uchenna. so hmm. dang. can't have it all. haha.
i guess its not enough to be very very kancheong spider driven, you gotta be nice..even if it holds you back, coz you never know when karma will reward you that one million dollar return you deserve. coz even with luck..like rob said "i knew it was goin too smoothly.." ..luck runs out eventually.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 12:32 a.m.
###
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
"ah hoh, this' my shit, all the girls stomp your feet like this!"
rainy day is spoiling shooting plans a lil. i like rain but the sky needs some anger management.
love. angel. music. baby.
hurry up and come and save meeee
i hate ulcers. dont talk to me about salt. in fact, dont talk to me, unless you're singing and you sing like marc broussard and you dont expect me to open my mouth to scream for you.
*dance*
I want you to stay up
talkin to me all niiight longgg...
call me up outoftheblue
just to see what's goin on.
even if I never see another day with you..
I hope you know I
appreciate you.
zabadab dabadab doo...
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 02:45 p.m.
###
Sunday, May 8, 2005
