*morning sniff*
my cat's sprawled on the bed, if i sleep i'm afraid i'll kick her.. hehah.
anyways. yesterday was a mighty long eventful day. started off with a high and ended with a headache.
firstly. (for no-shame gloating's sake), the youthbeat team was voted "best caption story", "best conti video" and *drum roll* "best overall program" *cue cymbals*. and each of us got this:
shweet. i loike. thanx albert. i mean..ian.
ooo...werrrk it. mm hmm. (am i scaring you yet?) wahahaha
*pats everyone on the back* Congrats us.
And no not for diplomacy's sake, but hats off to the other teams. we all know how much blood, sweat and tears are put into each program. it's been a supercalifragilistic pleasure *cough* pressure. =D
that was morning.
in the afternoon, thought the docu pitch went more than aiight, even though i made notes very last minute, of what to say. had a good feeling the idea was good. hehah. i regret not asking if they would seriously consider funding and producing a parkour docu, coz i think it will be totally rufus. mm hmm.
after the pitching session, drove my bro to my uncle's furniture workshop coz he needed help in ferrying his photoshoot equipment. bro's taking some photos of my uncle's new range of so-called avantgarde (i just call them cute) furnitures for its catalogue brochure.
according to my bro, photography, as a job, is less work and more money if you compare it to video production. hmm. i think if you don't have enough passion for video/film production, then you can forget about a career doing it. production takes alot out of an individual. but then if you're patient and loyal, it gives alot too (just maybe not in the monetary sense).
so we rushed home to break fast after the one and a half hours of "guerilla photography"..haha..didnt use a studio, but i think my bro still took great pics of the curvy bar stools. didnt know chairs could look so sexy in a pic.
and then the evening came.....and yea...the headache began.
it's true, we complicate things. but things Are complicated by itself. I'm afraid if we simplify, it would be a shallow relationship.
but let's just simplify for now.
peace.
y'know if i'm a trend-follower, i should start mugging for exams already.
bluek. exams. what a side dish to come with hari raya.
happyy mugging!
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 06:42 a.m.
###
Friday, October 28, 2005
heel the world.
(i had one of those fed-up days today but let's not brood. *smacks a smile on face* - ok i'm in character now.)
---
so finally, our final studio recording is over. wrapped up yesterday. think we should all be proud of ourselves for doing up a 20 min. program from scratch. live recording's fun but also effin' stressful aye. there were moments i didnt breathe while controlling the camera lest i make some sudden movements. hah. props to the automatic, supersonic, hypnotic, funkyfresh, youthbeat team. yall rock my socks. all of yall.
we interviewed breakdancer kids on heelies (tho they weren't on heelies in the studio)..."styles dari jauh" they're a funny bunch. brought them to the sch's Mc's to break fast coz we finished recording at 6-ish. Mc's gave us takeaways coz no trays then the only girl in the group accidentally broke fast before it was time, coz you know, when you buy take out, you just get used to stealing a sip of your drink while you wait for your burger and fries. hahahah. she got taunted so bad by the other boys.."mmm...aper rase-nyer? sedap tak sedap?" (mm..so how does it taste like? nice not? nice?) haha. poor girl. not her fault la, yea sometimes you sorta forget that you're fasting. eating, or putting edible things in your mouth is almost second nature, like licking your fingers when there's sauce on it. On the first day of fasting, i stood in front of the school's vending machine thinking if i should get snickers or m&m's..and i stood and stared for like 3 seconds. and on the 4th second realized that hello?? im fasting la hoi(!)
so yea. after breaking fast, squeezed the 5 kids in the car and sent them home. On the way, tuned in to Ria 89.7 (a station that wasnt in my tuner's preset) at their request and we sang hari raya songs. hah. maybe i should start tuning in to Ria from now to put me in the Raya mood. thanx sfb for gracing the studio. slamat hari raya - and don't forget to buy a "vocal" on wheel of fortune yer.
thanx and kudos also to the production team. go team! we pulled it off. yall did gooood. salute to the studio director, yizzzz (yo, check check) aka ms zhong. While handling the camera during the dance sequence, i realized if i had been in yizzzz's position in the studio directing, having to intercut 3 cams, i would've pee-ed in my pants. damn hard to direct la! since we're not doing handheld...but the director was quite ace in handling it ah, considering we're all still, y'know, learning the art. heh.
"cam 2, zooom in on the head!!! zoom in on the heaaaaad!!!" woosh...wot an adrenaline rush la. can't wait to see the other groups' programs tomorrow.
so then there's the docu pitching session also tomorrow. with real production house producers. woohoo. another adrenaline rush. let's imagine myself to be in..umm.."the apprentice" or sumthin. hah. but shite. from the feedback that i've got from those who've gone, it sounds intimidating. *imagines a "But mr trump, I.." - "No buts, You're fired." scene* ..but heck. what's there to lose. (grades..ya..ok) what doesn't kill you makes you ...ummm... a tad suicidal only what...so yea. no biggie. let's bring em on.
---
the price of onions are up coz of the india/pakistan quake. what got my mom pissed was that packets of fried onions (bawang goreng) are also up. and she's like, "achi! ni bawang sudah lama dulu goreng pon harga mau naik ah? yendiii.." (achi! these onions fried a long time ago also must raise the price now ah?) hahaha.
by the way, i try my best to hold my tongue when my dad drives coz i know what it feels like to have passengers nagging bout the way i drive. but i can't help it la. he keeps changing gears without glancing the speedometer, and the car keeps jerking. so ya. seeee, now you know what it feels like to be nagged attt. and my mom. hmm. no different la. i nag, she screams. - 'specially when my dad's parking the car. "jager, kereta. kERETA!!!" (look out, car, CAR!!) - and it's not like the car she's referring to is moving full speed towards us la, the car is stationarily parked beside only - absolutely harmless. haha. it's stressful being in the car with my parents.
one week (or so) to granny's rendang. i can smell it already.
have a gd weekend yall. wish me luck.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 11:09 p.m.
###
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
i want my life to be red with trees like autumn.
i feel almost superhuman after staying up an entire night to finish up on work. sometimes i think i'm addicted to this last minute adrenaline rush. not good. but yea. it feels suprrr-human when i pull it off...until the morning comes - and the feeling of super-humanness wears off the second the sunlight glares - i am human after all..
---
anywayyyy, it's been so long since i had the time to hang out with my best bud. we had a longggg chat on the phone awhile back. it's good to hear her laugh a little in what must be her darkest days. girlfwen, i could really use your wisdom right now...something's gnawing in my head. and only you can understand, tolerate, (and not judge) my stupid klingon. hehah.
---
so.
i mourn. because
sometimes, in this age of instant gratification, i feel that faith is dead, (appreciation of) the beauty of slow-ness, way extinct.
mr kundera suggests that technology has given us an ecstacy in the form of speed.
like people always think themselves invincible when they're behind the wheels.
"The man hunched over his motorcycle can focus only on the present instant of his flight; he is caught in a fragment of time cut off from both the past and the future; he is wrenched from the continuity of time . . . in other words, he is in a state of ecstasy; in that state he is unaware of his age, his wife, his children, his worries, and so he has no fear, because the source of fear is in the future, and a person freed of the future has nothing to fear."
"As opposed to a motorcyclist, the runner is always present in his body, forever required to think about his blisters, his exhaustion; when he runs he feels his weight, his age, more conscious than ever of himself and of his time of life. This all changes when man delegates the faculty of speed to a machine: from then on, his own body is outside the process, and he gives over to a speed that is noncorporeal, nonmaterial, pure speed, speed itself, ecstasy speed."
maybe that's why sometimes a long drive feels...cathartic.
Why has the pleasure of slowness disappeared? Ah, where have they gone, the amblers of yesteryear? Where have they gone, those loafing heroes of folk song, those vagabonds who roam from one mill to another and bed down under the stars? Have they vanished along with footpaths, with grasslands and clearings, with nature?
milan kundera - "slowness"
have they?
have they?!!
---
oh. saw a really bad accident scene on the road yesterday. it seems surreal to drive an inch away beside an overturned van that's blocking 2 lanes on the highway, with the bleeding driver by the divider wincing in pain. and, surprise, surprise, a taxi not far behind, seemingly unscathed. gave me tingles. what if it'd been me?
my head has been unleashing a medusa of ridiculous thoughts lately. but after thinking about them for awhile, they don't seem ridiculous really - because we are our own best persuaders.
sometimes the puzzles don't fit. then how...whose fault is it?
i'm sorry.
i'm tired.
it's no excuse.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 04:59 a.m.
###
Monday, October 24, 2005
baby, baby, baby, baby
honesty
bites the dust
every time i hear you saying
love is never lust yeah
did you read it in a book
did you see it in a magazine
do you think that i'm some new age fool
do you think i'm so naive..
baby, baby, baby, baby
happens all the time,
how you play me, play me, play me,
playing with my mind..
baby, baby, baby, baby
you're making me go crazy
if you call that love..
then love should be a crime
-----
heyy..o-town had some catchy songs k.
and a cute male blonde member called ashley angel (so wrong.)
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 01:11 a.m.
###
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Cars & Guitars
yea i've always wanted to have a car named after me.
meet the new 2006 Hyundai Azera. (yes pronounced ah-zee-rah)
i am not a fan of hyundai however.
gah! what a pakcik-pakcik interior. i can only imagine a grey-haired driver behind these wheels.
ho well.
apparently hyundai picked the name "azera" coz they wanted consumers to think of "azure", blue skies and everything nice associated with the car.
hmm. i had comments but it took a life of its own and conveniently went on a toilet break.
---
anyhows. since we're on a car topic. i only have 1 month and a week left with my lembu-ghini honda accord, whose road tax expires end nov. after which, it will be traded-in for the new car, which will only come in january(!)...which means..no car for the entire december and some days of january. aaaaaaaaaaaah!!!
i suppose the december days will be a mourning period for the accord. i will Sooo miss that starsky&hutch-mobil. the either too-cold or too-hot air-con, the absence of power steering (not!), the manual drive (not!), the way it dies on me sometimes (not!), the loud engine, the rugged feel, the old school-ness, the large-enough boot to stuff camera and equipment for on-location shoots, the press-this-button-and-it-does-everything-except-what-its-supposed-to stereo system, the comfy seat, the pretty-looking and huge steering wheel, and of course all the memoriesssssss that built around that car. i.will.miss.it.la *sniff*
if you want a ride in an '82 'vintage' amah-teng, theres still a month to go. hehah. To those who have graced the accord with your passenger presence, your butt-marks will be forever imprinted in the azzz's my-first-car-ever-honda-accord hall of fame.
Thanks for the memories.
---
ok this has nothing to do with anything above, but again, since we're on the topic of cars, one of my favourite tori songs on her latest album's called "cars & guitars".
If I choke Boy you
start me up again
Restring my wires y’know
this gearbox can make the shift polish my rims
Damned if you do
Damned if you don’t
I swear it seems of late boy
I’ve even curved this body to fit your bow
still the rain can’t confuse the thoughts that come
come in rhythm
‘cause it never was the Cars and Guitars that came
between us
still a thought says
what if I
keep on Drivin’
keep on Drivin’
“Yeah that whip has skirt”
you said it proud
Sometimes I’d watch her idle while you’d tune her up
me with my silencer on
You and your crocodile clip
Me and my alligator pears yeah
all tricked out for the trip
that slid into a spin
You say that “I miss you”
You stop in at my drive-thru
you know you’ll order some some boy
You say that “I miss you”
You stop in at my drive-thru
you know you’ll order some some boy
‘cause it never was the Cars and Guitars that came
between us
still a thought says
what if I
keep on Drivin’
keep on Drivin’
keep on Drivin’
If I choke Boy
You start me up again
Restring my wires y’know
this gearbox can make the shift polish my rims
---
yea i wondered what that was all about too, and then tori said:
"Do you ever start screaming in a car? Just having an argument, reliving an argument? And you go, 'What is it gonna take? What language is it going to take for us to communicate on this issue?' So I thought, what is the language that this guy understands? So I decided to become a car. One with the stick that he can put his hands on and maneuver. He can polish my rims. He can step inside me. Then I decided I could also become a guitar. He could pick me up and play me and I could listen to what he's trying to say. If I could just change my shape we could maybe get through this because it never was the cars and guitars that came between us."
i, for one, would like to take the shape of a song. but then that's just.....nebulous.
tori, won't you bring your original sinsuality tour to singapore pleezzz?
*keeps on drivin'...*
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 04:38 a.m.
###
Thursday, October 20, 2005
"I know you've got a 'lil life in you left...."
have you heard maxwell's "this woman's work"? That is some impressive falsetto. luvluvluv the song..the audacity of a dude to cover a kate bush song (!) - and sing in a higher pitch than kate..i always hold in high regard a male singer who can pull off a high pitch and still manage to retain our conviction of his masculinity intact.
my league of extraordinary (falsetto-lovin) gentlemen: justin, musiq, maxwell, shawn stockman, taufik, all yezzz...
but bee gees, michael jackson, prince, that black back-up singer for mariah carey who did a duet with her on "i'll be there", oho nopezz.
hah..all i'm sayin is...i don't need to listen to depeche mode or elvis to fall in love with a male singing voice.
luv damien rice and craig david. they should do a duet. hah.
---
anyway. my parents took the liberty (to intrude into my privacy) to re-arrange the furnitures in my bedroom. i came home yesterday (or was it the day before? i've lost my sense of sunrise/sunset) and wondered why, if i had walked in the right door, pass by the usual living room, but then come the bedroom, i suddenly doubted if i'd entered the right house - just coz the usual place where i dump my bag is not there anymore (technically it is, cept its not convenient to dump it there anymore). yesterday was a daze-y day. now the bed is not facing where it used to face. its weird waking up to a different wall. need awhile to get used to this new fengshui. tsk.
---
all i wanna do right now is sip sangria in a resort in belize. why o why o why o why.....all this work.
---
got back at 2-ish...i love driving late late night..with very few cars on the road. i imagine i'm on an imaginary race course (with the occasional speed camera i've to look out for) i zip past taxis without signalling. hah. how fun. i'm the queen of the roaaad - who has yet to settle her saman. (fantasizing belize has kept me busy, you see)
---
i haven't slept yet..but my mom's already awake to prepare for sahur. Just heard her alarm ring. In 20 minutes, my dad will knock on the door, come in and wake me by shaking my toes. (go team sahur)
i s'pose i'll spare him the toe-shaking work and stay awake.
i foresee a zombie-me going through this thursday.
achtung, baby.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 04:08 a.m.
###
Sunday, October 16, 2005
..nerve for nerve..
Approaching a university professor for a news soundbyte/interview for my audio current affairs piece, i got this very enthusiastic e-mail reply:
"..i can do soundbytes but that's lazy. tell me your own views and your own analysis so that i can have a sense of intellectual engagement and not feel that i am a sound-byte provider. we are after all part of a university community rather than hungry and tired journalists doing things the most convenient way..."
when i first read it, the email reeked of arrogance. i got so pissed, i penned an instant "i'm still pissed and havent taken 10 seconds to exhale" reply.
Dear Sir,
I am extremely offended by the phrase, "doing things the most convenient way". (makes me wonder if you have anything against my faculty). Contrary to your assumption, the last thing we'd do is breed a bunch of hungry and tired journalists. This is a "University Community" after all, have some faith in your fellow academics.
Firstly, I would never term my interviewee as merely a "soundbyte-provider". Nor did I deem you merely as a soundbyte-provider in my e-mail. Your opinions are highly treasured as a dependable, reliable expert opinion that the masses can/need to consume and digest in order to help them make their own well-informed decisions or individual opinions.
Secondly, it is not lazy when I am at the other end handling and assessing your opinions conversing with you through only relevant questions that need to dig out more of your academic perspectives that would be relevant and understood by the layman.
Thirdly, the journalist cannot be subjective in the piece that she covers, she cannot allow what she feels for the issue to be influenced in the way she reports. Therefore throwing my opinions and thoughts on the table for you just so you "will not feel that you are merely a soundbyte provider" would be unrealistic as it would be contrary to journalistic principles.
Lastly, the journalist does not cover stories for their own individual sake. What they write is for the audience in mind. I am disappointed that you may assume I am doing this merely for my grades and it seems to me, judging from the undertone of your message is that you feel you are being used? (Well. hell. arent we all?) I come to you with contrary intentions.
Pardon me for reading between your lines. Being in a "University Community" has taught me that. But I am perturbed by your tone of reply and regret to have asked for your help if I knew your perception of me as a journalism student would be derogatory.
But yes, I will see you at your office. We will have that intellectual engagement you so desire. (Game. On.) And maybe, we can throw in a little journalistic integrity discussion for dessert.
Thank you. (not for the condescending remarks)
(pseudo)Sincerely,
thehungryandtiredjournalist (but only coz she's fasting).
-----
hah.
yes in an instant rage, i typed that, but i wasn't about to click "send"! (there are better ways to die)..so i figured i'd keep it here for memories' sake..haha
ha.
oh the nerve these overpaid academics spit out..
ok i have since taken 10 seconds to take a breather. im not pissed anymore.
daym, i think i need to have a password-secured blog soon.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 03:36 p.m.
###
Thursday, October 13, 2005
fedora fetish
Guess Who.
-
-
-
seriously, if it was any other guy, i'd say, which ridiculous groom would ruin his wedding by wearing a hat?!
But then...
-
-
-
It's Ashton.
*collective groupie sigh*
pics from OK! magazine, 12-10-2005.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 08:45 p.m.
###
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
...because humor can be the best drug for the tired
Gahmen to Target Toilet Walls Next
Posted on Sunday, October 02, 2005
Topic: Local News
by Nyonya Kway
After clamping down on bloggers, pranksters and filmmakers, the Gahmen says it is now going after toilet walls – which civil society activists are calling the last bastion of free expression in Singapore.
According to the Ministry of Immobility, Censorship and Apprehension (MICA), it has been a banner year. Said MICA spokesman Boey Sai Kong, “Kids are being forced by their schools to censor what they really think about their teachers on their blogs. Those pranksters who put up white elephants at Buangkok MRT and that filmmaker who made that documentary on Chee Soon Juan are both being investigated by police. Yes, I guess you can say we’ve been very productive.”
However, Mr. Boey said that MICA doesn’t intend to rest on its laurels. “We feel that there is an unacceptable amount of unlicensed expression on the walls of public toilets.”
According to Mr. Boey, in this week alone, and in a single public toilet in Bukit Gorblok Central, MICA uncovered the following statements, written in marker, pencil and even pee sai:
- In SGH I’m broken hearted
Paid so much Medisave
But only farted
- This toilet is owned by Temashit Holdings (just like you)
- Looking for a good time? Go to Perth. You can’t find it in Singapore!
- The toilet paper here has less shit on it than the latest Straits Times
MICA is now installing video cameras in all public toilet cubicles to catch offenders, who risk both a fine and jail.
Civil society activists have expressed concern about the move. Said one such activist Miss Nayeeva Tay, “How come the Gahmen is going around telling everyone how much more open it is nowadays, when they’re cracking down on free speech in almost every sector? Targeting public toilet walls only shows that in reality, they won’t take any shit from anybody. If you ask me, they’re preparing for the next elections by neutralizing any potential source of criticism.”
MICA’s Mr. Boey, however, denies this. “That is wholly untrue, and as proof, our entire Cabinet have instructed their lawyers to pursue defamation proceedings against Ms. Tay.”
However, not all Gahmen sectors approve of MICA’s installation of video cameras. The Internal Security Department, for one, feels it is wholly unnecessary as “the video cameras are already there.”
When asked what the next step was, MICA’s Mr. Boey replied smilingly, “Taxi drivers. Now that will be a real challenge.”
- extracted from 'talkingcock.com'
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 12:13 a.m.
###
Sunday, October 9, 2005
your heart is an empty room
err today, gone tomorrow.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 01:13 a.m.
###
Friday, October 7, 2005
disagree.
i fell in love with a song i heard on the radio. but couldn't catch the song title nor the band's name. i searched high and low for it on the net, remembering the lead vocal had a similar sexy tone to that of eddie vedder's or dave matthew's or gavin rosdale's...so i searched for pearl jam and dave matthews and bush lyrics but nada. so i just searched using the few lines of lyrics that i vaguely remembered from the song...and somewhere tucked in the corner of my search results...little did i knowwww it's a song by a malaysian band called.'.."Disagree" - a terrible name that will Not stand out when googled for. hah. so yea...the song's called 'crumbs'...i loike..it's nice and depressing, eradicating my prejudiced view of mat malaysias....for an entire 3 minutes. bleh tahan ah
----
was cramming at home with work...very depressing. then got an sms that said, "wanna meet up for break fast?" to which i replied.."jomz. but im broke!..maybe when i get my pay." to which was replied, "my treat la." to which i philosophized, *i s'pose it's a good life principle to never say no to a meal treat* ..so ok..had a really gooood fish n chips meal at raffles hospital banquet..they played the radio and everyone who was breaking fast got a free date - the fruit - wrapped like a sweet. how cool. then headed to arab street after that. yes. we know nicotine is bad. we are educated people. but too much education turns us against it and brings us back to square one sometimes. ho well. han solo had ice chocolate and lime juice and chicken rice and *ahem* nicotine and it all waged a war inside his tummy and charged out his throat. tsk tsk. weak ah.. hehah. after the chillingz, dropped han off at shaw towers and then it was just me and my lembu-ghini rushing back home to catch 'lost'.
thanx for the treat yerr...rezeki jangan ditolak wahahah..good luck with your circular marilyn monroe skirt design..shammon, rock the runway. Ms J. RuLeZ 4eva~.
*catwalks*
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 12:14 a.m.
###
Monday, October 3, 2005
tv junkie rehab
this tv junkie is going on rehab. been missing my favourite shows. and will keep missing them coz of work and coz the vcr has retired. and no this tv junkie doesn't have cable tv..coz that's just like buying a cigarette factory for a nicotine addict.
soon i'll be having withdrawals from the following drugs i had so religiously consumed...
in case you're a junkie who will never accept treatment:
Arrested Development is on every Tuesday at 10pm on Central.
Alias is on every Wednesday 12 am on 5.
The Amazing Race Family Edition looks interessssting. hmph. it's on every wednesday la.
ok. wait. this is too much abstaining. i need to sit down...*breathes*
---
anyways,
watched the news yesterday, saw the amateur tourist video that caught the bali bombing on tape when the bomb exploded. peace. calm. normalcy. man in blue walks in half-hurried. the video has his figure chillingly highlighted to veer our attention to this otherwise normal-looking passerby - 'cept he is about to detonate a bomb strapped to himself, inside the restaurant. He exits frame and a few seconds later. BOOM!. screams. smoke. blood. *palm cups my mouth*
they shoulda rated the news PG. but then again, we've all seen airplanes crashing into a building. i s'pose we've seen everything in a media-overloaded world. in the future, will nothing surprise us anymore?
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 09:58 p.m.
###
Saturday, October 1, 2005
"On a swing you push me hard so i'll come back to where you are."
just watched Crash.
Wow. (I'm glad I don't live in L.A.)
There is no solution to racism. Whether you'll be a part of it or a victim of it, we will all somehow be both at some point. No One's free from prejudice.
so....pandai-pandai la eh jaga diri..
redemption is always within reach.
---
ever had the feeling....of recognizing quicksand only after it's already well above your waist and then only realize -- "what did I get myself into??"
don't panic.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 05:09 p.m.
###
