the "something about melayu" play was great. enjoyed it thoroughly although some monologues got a lil long and over-indulgent but definitely enjoyed every second of Yan's. Awesomest. wooooooooo. power la sista. also enjoyed the mat cleaner, the minah ferring (there's a way to wear earrings outside the tudung), the arab taxi driver (your name jeffrey sir? so is that chinese or vietnamese?), the bartop dancer (it is just one sin in my list of sins!) and etc etc. 'twas quite exhaustive in exploring malay-ness. fun satire. what was it again? it was not a play about malays but a play about people who are coincidentally malays? nice job.
---
so.
my morale took a roller-coaster ride today, if that's even possible. sometimes too much facts only hurts. sometimes when you really want something, desire and prayers are not enough...or are they?
anyway, i swear when i'm late and rushing, all the traffic lights are red. it's like a voodoo done on me. so who do i take it out on? ahhh..maybe that crawling pedestrian crossing the road.
kidding.
...i hope i never accidentally step on snails. they're scary things on pavements to evade on rainy days.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 12:47 a.m.
###
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
itriedtothinkofatitlebutnothingcame.
dear blog,
i just want you to know wot a fockin' tiring monday it was. *insert self-pity whining here yada yada who-really-needs-to-know yada yada..* And to end the day with a charlie kaufman movie is like finishing the last lap of a marathon with a splash of ice cold hundred-plus on my head. *cue music: 'chariots of fire' theme*
oo..but the chocolate cake was wowza.
"you are what you love not what loves you."
(monday down. tuesday, wednesday, thursday to go.)
*music fades to 'i will survive' - gloria gaynor version*
bye. be merry. (try la. doesn't hurt right.)
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 12:11 a.m.
###
Sunday, September 25, 2005
in my cornerbooth...
firstly, let's congratulate my dad for finally achieving a driving license. way to go pak! FINALLY, you can drive a vehicle other than the MRT train. syabas yer (and now begins the tussle for the use of the car...darnz. *rolls up sleeves* it's gonna get ugly..wahaha) ..although i sure could get used to having someone drive me for once (in awhile)!
---
i think i know why they're re-painting my block Orange and Turquoise from white and dark green.
my block is 25 storeys high. not that high but the highest in this neighbourhood. people like to jump to their death here. i've witnessed a near suicide with legs dangling on the window ledge and SCDF guys blowing the huge "mattress" placed at the ground (but eventually the suicide-r chickened out).
last week an indian man jumped and i didn't witness the suicide but i witnessed the funeral...and..well..one word. dramatic. mm hmm.
so what if you paint this block happy colours, like suicidal people are gonna change their minds when they see orange and turquoise..hah! i Get suicidal thoughts just looking at the ugly combination of these two new colors on my previously classy-coloured neighbourhood. heesh.
r.a.n.t. isn't that what blogs are for?
sometimes i feel like bangin' my head against the wall with these cramped thoughts in my head ...
"so many lifeless empty hands, so many hearts in great demand."
ah. and then i listen to death cab and bright eyes. and i'm ok during the 4 minutes of each song. musickeepsmesane.
when you feel embarassed, then I'll be your pride
when you need directions, then I'll be your guide,
for all time...
for all time...
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 12:35 p.m.
###
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
spiders.
these days i've realized my life hangs upon the kindness (or lack of it) of other people. then i started to question if i depend too much on others. but wait.
nawww..it is a 'dependable/depending' universe...(you could translate that to the opposite of a dog-eat-dog world, but that's not my point) it's just that i have a 'kind' *cough*(cynical) view that these people are not in a position where they are obligated to help me. so why do they? i wouldn't hate them if they dont. but i love them 'coz they do. hah.
God Bless Truly Kind People. *snogs kind people*
---
i've kinda lost my usual gargantuan appetite lately. i think 'coz my loyalty to the school's junk food vending machine is taking a toll on my xenophobic intestines who're repelling anything wholesome and good. yesterday i felt like puking while eating my favourite mom-cooked dish. ended up throwing half the dish. (no offence motha). its my stomach. lately it's been beatboxing. effin' poser.
or maybe 'coz it is one stress-inducing week (or two or three or more). the last lap of the semester i hate, where all the assignments escalate into a tsunami of great tediousness and difficulty in a wave of deadlines.
and on top of that...well...toppings i could really do without. sometimes i just want a clean scoop of ice-cream. no toppingssssss. n'um sayin'?
tsk.
...how ah..i can't swim.
*INHALES*
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 04:53 p.m.
###
Sunday, September 18, 2005
shallow like your breath
this site is ugly. but i'd like to think you're here for the words and not the layout aye? ahahaha
i will give it a major revamp!
(now watch me procrastinate.)
----
and now for a butterfly-flaps-its-wings-and-causing-a-tsunami-on-the-other-side-of-the-world Headline News (no, really.):
Britney's belly popped. and out came a (poor soul) boy!
uh-ohh...now the deluge of treadmills and pilates coming your way brit.
----
i will not tell you how i spent the one week break 'coz i didn't spend it. i gave it away in assignment vouchers. hah.
i wish weekends were made of rubber so i could strrrrrrretch it.
and on monday watch it snap and *smack* me in the face.
then i'll be wide-eyed and ready for the weekdays.
hooooyeah.
---
The Screaming Diaries blog giveaway. --> Swatch Voucher.
ah huh.
(i have this Swatch voucher that expires end of September, and i am pretty darn sure i'm not intending to buy anything swatch this month. but if you are planning to buy a Swatch by the end of this month, lemme know. let's not waste discounts!)
now have a good week and remember to exhale.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 01:39 p.m.
###
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
mother, mother, how's the weather...
my mom's way of saying good morning as i enter the toilet to shower is: "nanti kabinet dalam toilet lap tau kalau basah! nanti repot!"
(wipe the toilet cabinet if it's wet, if not it'll rot!)
her way of saying 'goodnight' is: "sblom ko tidor, tingkap nanti tutop, ni tengah cat blok, ader benda tu, orang boleh panjat naik."
(close that window before you go to sleep, now that they're painting the block, got that thingy, people can climb up into our house.)
and of course, her way of saying 'bye, take care.' when i leave for school is, "baju ketat, nampak pantat. tsk. aper nak jadiii.."
(clothes so tight, can see your butt. tsk. what am i gonna do..)
wahahahahah..yea love you too, mom.
-----
anyways..
i had fun interviewing zul the maestro beatboxer yesterday. and i had fun editing the audio piece today. even in the igloo editing suite. i've learnt the trick (quite very late) of keeping warm in the many igloos in school: to wear a windbreaker. not a cardigan or any thick wooly jacket. just. a. windbreaker. trust me.
(ok so you don't look so good in a windbreaker...but what's the point of a versace if you wrinkle it whilst shrunken into a naked eskimo posture the whole time.)
so Anyway...zul and i were in a project room in the library which i booked for the interview. was desperately looking for a quiet place to record the interview nicely and well...apparently silence comes at a price. the room was 6 bux/hour but it was worth it. no ambience noise at all. as good as recording in a studio.
but at the end, had a security guard coming in and interrogating. "what's that?" he asked, pointing to my "mean machine" *ahem* professional md recorder.."what you doin?" "until what time you book this room?" ...we just answered with a smile. although deep down i wish he would've just come to the point - "do you have any bombs?" - out with it. thats what you really wanna ask don't you? wahahah.
no wait. i think he came coz the beatboxing might've been a tad loud. i was too engrossed in the interview and enjoying his beatboxing i didnt wonder if the room was sound proof, if at least a lil bit. but when zul and i walked out and closed the door, those kids swimming in their textbooks nearby suddenly had a second to come up for air and throw us funny glances. hoho. so there. the soundproof question answered, i s'pose. and nooooo, we didnt have no radio, bitches!
---
*exhale*
i had a mooncake today.
to celebrate the coming of the fasting month(?)
and oh...i could never smack a mosquito flat good. what with all this dengue scare these days, them 'quitos somehow look so big.
..and i still can't smack 'em good. my aim is wack. ahahahahahahahahahhhh.
*un-smiles*.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 09:10 p.m.
###
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
yours truly, yours tr...
Everything is open
Nothing is set in stone
Rivers turn to oceans
Oceans tide you home
Home is where the heart is
But your heart had to roam
Drifting over bridges
Never to return
Watching bridges burn
You're driftwood floating underwater
Breaking into pieces, pieces, pieces
Just driftwood, hollow and of no use
Waterfalls will find you, bind you, grind you
Nobody is an island
Everyone had to go
Pillars turn to butter
Butterflying low
Low is where your heart is
But your heart has to grow
Drifting under bridges
Never with the flow
And you really didn't think it would happen
But it really is the end of the line
So I'm sorry that you've turned to driftwood
But you've been drifting for a long, long time
Everywhere there's trouble
Nowhere's safe to go
Pushes turn to shovels
Shovelling the snow
Frozen you have chosen
The path you wish to go
Drifting now forever
And forever more
Until you reach your shore
You're driftwood floating underwater
Breaking into pieces, pieces, pieces
Just driftwood, hollow and of no use
Waterfalls will find you, bind you, grind you
And you really didn't think it would happen
But it really is the end of the line
So I'm sorry that you've turned to driftwood
But you've been drifting for a long, long time
You've been drifting, for a long, long
Drifting for a long, long time...
"Driftwood" - Travis
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 01:22 a.m.
###
Friday, September 9, 2005
toothpaste for dinner
plucked out the back bad tooth today. ew. it's huge. the dentist asked if i wanted to keep it. one look at the bloody thang and i'm like, "ew. no thanks."
pain. what is pain. after going through unbearable pain for the last 2 days, what is the pain of tooth extraction right? i would've done just about Anything, do cartwheels naked just to get rid of the killer toothache, so pulling the tooth out wasn't a huge worry. it was awfully quick. downed 2 pills of painkillers first. of course there's the jab on my gums to numb half my mouth so i wouldn't be able to feel it (it was the numbness of 20 veryvery strong mints filling half your mouth). if only there was something to numb the pain of that jab. the dentist pulled the tooth off with brute force. bloody heck i could hear it and almost feel it. almost. he said i was "damn tough" coz once he extracted a tooth off this indian man who was screaming his lungs out. hah! i figured him saying that was just a psychological painkiller. so then out came the bloody tooth. looked like a velociraptor's fang. then lotsa swabs of cotton wool that entered my mouth clean white but pulled out being a ball of dripping red. the dentist's gloves were bloodied as he did the stitches. and i feel like they should just knock me out there and then. coz it was like i was having surgery done on me while i'm awake with all the blood in front of. my. eyes. and they're My blood! and my curious eyes refused to close kinda leaving ALot to my imagination. and i kept telling myself to think happy thoughts. and i thought what happy thoughts? happy thoughts. and the only picture i managed to paint in my mind as i watched all that blood were the words 'happy thoughts' in black print against a white background. hnh? poughkeepsie. but the pain was numbed so it wasn't so bad.
it was so quick yet it set me back 90 bux(!!). so i asked the dentist.."so all you did was use your strength to pull it out huh?" and he gave this fake laugh and said, "welll...if it was that easy, you could've done it yourself..hahaha..no laa..well, you have to know where and how to pull it.."
So basically, that was all it took la. some 90-dollar "pulling skills"!
so yea. half my mouth and my right cheek was numb for an hour or two after that. i couldn't feel or move it at all. i had a feeling my right cheek looked like it desperately needed botox.
went home, popped the painkillers and slept it away. the back of my mouth feels a little airy.
sleep should be uninterrupted tonight. hmph.
---
in other non-dental news...
my favourite poet will be releasing the long-awaited album next month:
woo-pee.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 10:23 p.m.
###
Thursday, September 8, 2005
no pain no-t a-gain!
this toothache is killing meeeee. was tossing and turning in bed last night at 3 a.m coz of the excrutiating pain. and nooooo i don't wanna make a date with the devil! i mean the.. dentist! he's gonna poke and prod my mouth through the smelly rubber gloves and when he asks me questions i have to slurp my saliva and look stupid by trying to talk with a fist in my mouth. ugh. i wonder if the dentist does his own tooth jobs in front of the mirror.
so today i had to pop some panadol extras for the pain. had a studio interview tutorial. we had to bullshit an interview and i was this local filmmaker from toa payoh who made it big in hollywood..oh make-believe is soooooo much fun!
oh and i don't think i'm cut out to be in front of the camera. hoho. i kinda look garang when i don't smile. my straight face translates to.."bite me..rarrr" i'd do good as a minah gangster in anak metropolitan.."gua tak goyang ah beb!"..hows that?
oh and speaking of minahs, i've learnt that "projek" is a mat / minah term for making out. ahahah. some mats told me that. wahahah. so yea. sing it with me.
mat and minah sit-ting on a tree.
P. R. O. J. E. C. T!
..and That, ladies and gentleman is how a tooth-aching-to-the-brink-of-being-delusional minah-in-training goes...when the panadol extras run out.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 07:29 p.m.
###
Wednesday, September 7, 2005
clamities
i am fervently folding paper cones. dont ask why.
----
anyways, my car got clamped on monday in school . for parking along the double yellow lines (as all other dozens of cars did too, but I got clamped coz it happened to be my second time caught. *squeal*)
the department of facilities and whatshits should spend some time adding new parking lots to meet the higher number of vehicles, instead of going around clamping wheels. i had to walk all..what,700 metres? to the office, make my payment then walk back to the carpark and wait for security to come down and unclamp it. sheeeeesh. shoulda hitched a ride back with security la. but even then i got back to the lot before they did.
..and i don't think i've ever been such a rude "customer" when i was paying the fine. didnt' look them in the eye. threw my atm card on the table. threw an impolite "how much ah" in my best minah garang look. called up the office and in my best irritated tone asked, "for how long do i have to wait ah?" when the unclampers were not there when i reached the lot... didn't verbally answer when my wheel was unclamped and security asked "ok ah?", just gave a "ah-can't-be-bothered" nod. wahahahahah. grr..arr..(but i have to give credit to that woman on the line for still being polite to me. she must be immune to these kinda things..steady la.)
still...and you thought having a car meant convenience?
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 01:55 a.m.
###
Monday, September 5, 2005
stars and chocolates.
put the tv on mute and received a midnight serenade. few things can substitute a milk and honey supper.
---
i have been spoiled this weekend. so. much. good. food. i was "buffet the vampire slayer". oh have you heard that joke? One day this vampire was walking on the streets at midnight, he had onion rings suddenly tossed at him from outta nowhere..and then a few steps later..he had garlic bread landing on his head..and then he saw the bushes in front of him moved..and out came a girl who says, "Stop! I am Buffet, the Vampire Slayer. rarr." ahahahahahah. what? funny right? tsk.
---
i was on the passenger seat for once. my right hand lifted up to my right side for the seat belt out of habit until i realized, on the passenger seat, seat belt's on my left. ahahaha.
---
oh, i need to learn some minah terms...i didnt get what my aunts were talking about..one minute we were exchanging dirty jokes at the bbq (and finally! they've come to the realization that i've grown up) and the next they were talking bout this minah who's somehow related who was talkin bout "projek tonight" and its somehow crude and offensive. huh? someone helllp me translate ah siol...projek.. hm..(but i figured its..umm..somethin to do with..umm. yea..that.) there must be so many more terms i'm missing out seyy.
---
and oh ya. i suck at pool. i wish i had a poooooooool table..and a swimming poool.
..and hello monday. how are you today? (well actually nobody cares. boo.)
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 12:26 a.m.
###
Saturday, September 3, 2005
..and it. makes me. want. to cry.
i dont like hospitals (doh. who does.)
as much as it is a place that helps to heal, it is also a place that tears you apart.
no matter how sterile it smells or feels inside, somehow you don't leave feeling exactly purged.
maybe wiped clean off your hopes.
it's too painful to watch that rage, rage against the dying of the light, unwilling to go gentle into that good night.
...combust into a white flag tailored by the hands of god eventually.
eventually.
I'm sorry.
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 12:10 a.m.
###
Thursday, September 1, 2005
I shall never grow old...make-believe is much too fun
Happy Teacher's Day! *salute*
I will never wish myself that (but they say be careful what you wish for..)
---Gullible.info time!
did you know...
Currently Coca-Cola and Pepsi beverage developers are in a recipe race to develop the first diet beverage that actually burns calories. Public relations representatives from Coca-cola are already working on the packaging with the working title “Negative Coke.”
hah! I just might change my soda non-drinking habit...
these words I write to keep me from madness @ 01:48 p.m.
###
