Thursday, November 27, 2003
kmc posted this at: 10:46 a.m.HAPPY THANKSGIVING! and now my post . . .
I found a fun link while browsing SPELL-BOUND: BIRTHDAY CALCULATOR! and my results were:
You entered: 1/11/1972
You were born on a Tuesday
under the astrological sign Capricorn.
Your Life path number is 4.
The Life Path Number
The Life Path is the sum of the birth date. This number represents who you are at birth and the native traits that you will carry with you through life. The most important number that will be discussed here is your Life Path number. The Life Path describes the nature of this journey through life.
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4
The Life Path 4 produces the most trustworthy, practical, and down-to-earth of individuals; the cornerstone members of society. The goal of this life path is learning to take orders and to carry them out with dedication and perseverance. You always demand as much from yourself as you do from others, and sometimes a lot more. You have the kind of will power that is often mistaken for sheer stubbornness. Once a decision is made, it will be followed through to the conclusion, right, wrong, or indifferent; you are very set in your ways and determined to handle things the way you are so certain that they should be handled. Your tenacity of purpose and ability to get the job done borders on obsession.
You are an excellent organizer and planner because of your innate ability to view things in a very common sense and practical way. You are a wonderful manager with a great sense of how to get the job done.
Loyal and devoted, you make the best of your marriage, and you are a dependable businesspartner. Friends may be few in number, but you are very close to them and once friendships are made, they often last a lifetime. The number 4 is solidly associated with the element of earth from which it gains it strength and utter sense of reality. You are one of the most dependable people you know. If patience and determination can ever win, you are sure to achieve great success in life.
The negative side of the 4 can prove dogmatic to an excess, narrow-minded, and repressive. A lot of skin-deep people turn you off, and you lack the tact to keep your feelings from being totally clear to all around. Additionally, the negative 4 has a bad tendency to get too caught up in the daily routine of affairs and often misses the big picture and major opportunities that come along once in a while.
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The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2441327.5.
The golden number for 1972 is 16.
Golden Number:
A number showing the year of the lunar or Metonic cycle. It is reckoned from 1 to 19, and is so called from having formerly been written in the calendar in gold.
The epact number for 1972 is 14.
Epact Number:
The moon's age at the beginning of the calendar year, or the number of days by which the last new moon has preceded the beginning of the year.
The year 1972 was a leap year.
As of 11/27/2003 12:35:27 PM CST
You are 31 years old.
You are 382 months old.
You are 1,663 weeks old.
You are 11,643 days old.
You are 279,444 hours old.
You are 16,766,675 minutes old.
You are 1,006,000,527 seconds old.
There are 45 days till your next birthday
and 28 days till Christmas!
The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waning crescent.
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Monday, November 24, 2003
kmc posted this at: 04:24 p.m.DE- Mystified. . . Illusions Gone . . .
illusions lifted
the "fraud" exposed
sands sifted
truth she knows.
I had someone refer to ME as a "fraud"... okay.... anyone who knows me... REALLY knows me, knows that I am 111% true Kelly... no hidden doors, no reasons to lie about myself, no falsehood in who I am... therefore it was incredibly enlightening to find out that I was correct in my gut feeling (although the gut was giving me two options to choose from)... but illusion brought light to itself.
The one thing I despise is the lies ... If someone can't be themselves with me without hiding behind facades, then they don't need to be a part of my life. I am who I am regardless of what other's expectations may be of me. And I, too, am learning how to "just be"... with no expectations. I try to take people at their own words (or typing) and trust that they will do what they say, say what they mean, be themselves in their words. Maybe I am still expecting??? What is the difference between trusting people and expectations? Doesn't it stand that if I am trusting people that I am also expecting them to be trustworthy? I always give people the benefit of the doubt. And, unless I have been burnt to a crisp, I will keep returning to the flame that hurts me. When do you call it enough? When does compassion have a limit? I keep myself open to people, but does that mean that I have to allow people to mistreat me? I think not. I am a very viable, valuable friend... if people can not see or accept that, then I need to move myself on and removed the thorn that pierces me. It is not necessarily the thorns fault that I brushed up against it... I do take responsibility for my interactions with people. But in doing that, I can also take just as much responsibility in protecting myself as well. I have learned so much. I am so please with the experiences that teach me insight.
So, thank you for those who have scratched, bruised, cut, burnt me.... my life's callouses are not without gratitude. I heal incredibly quickly these days.
be well
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Friday, November 21, 2003
kmc posted this at: 02:39 p.m.Preamble to the Weekend...
this weekend I will be going into sanctuary.... seeking out demons.... finding extraordinary treasure... sharpening my developed skills... so, I may not post anything until the weekend is complete... don't fear... I shall return from sanctuary.... refreshed and ready for the "real world"...
actually I do plan on spending quality time with friends too, so I am not going to hermit all weekend. Just for a better part of it! :) I go through those phases. I feel cleansed, refreshed and ready to leap forward after weekends like these. I do plan on doing a great deal of writing too. Hopefully I will be able to get a piece of poetry posted on Monday. We shall see what Saturday brings. I have grown very fond of my independence... alone is no longer something I fear or try to change. Now, lonely... that is a different story... that's where my friends come in... they are the source of discoveries that I can't get while alone. They are a new way to perceive myself. I enjoy the group that I have acquired... all very unique and different... yet similar in their open-minded views and their general acceptance of all. I value the honesty that I get while interacting with them... I am receiving now what I have put out into the world... my karma is being returned through my friends. They are my blessings as well.
okay... yeah, it got a little sappy there... but... I am embracing my emotions and going 100% "me". This is fun!
be well.
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Wednesday, November 19, 2003
kmc posted this at: 12:22 p.m.Happy Here & Now. . .
I have to say that I feel like I am absolutely blessed. Regardless of the 'bumps in the road" or the obstacles that present themselves... it seems as though things always work out well for me. I feel safe, protected, and well-guided. I realize I have much to learn still about myself. But when I see moments in my life that feel like a "distillation process" ... well, I am so thrilled that I experience every aspect of it. Both perceptual "bad and good" things... because through it all... everything is all positive. Even catalysts that are negative with their intent are transmuted via the experience to make me stronger, more aware and more enlightened about the Self. Things may get heated and steamed but when the reactionary emotions calm and cool... what is left is a purer awareness... distillation is the best description I can use for what I feel I am going through. And sometimes it even feels like Fractional Distillation... because some of the events that I experience seem to have a much higher "heat" as I move more into my spiritual journey. But the thing is; I get through these heated moments much more quickly too. That which is necessary for my life does stay with me... those things which weigh me down or contaminate my intent or path are ultimately removed quite quickly. I see it happening at a more rapid rate recently. I value the friends that I have because I am more aware of the fact that they are friends who support my movement. Friends are invaluable! Each of you know who you are! I make a point of having a moment of thought for many people in my life each day. I send out gratitude to each of you!
I am surrounded by purple light... I am happy to be experiencing this existence. Here and Now.
be well!
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Monday, November 17, 2003
kmc posted this at: 03:25 p.m.Revision of the Days of the Workweek. . .
Today, I have decided to rename the days of the Work-week as follows:
Monday will now be MUNDANE. - no explanation needed there.
Tuesday will just be spelled TWO'S-DAY. - Things come in twos or have to be done twice.
Wednesday will be called WHEN's-DAY - "When's the weekend going to get here?"
Thursday will be renamed The-Hurts-day. The weekend is so close it just hurts!
And the final day of the work week: FRIED-EGG. Basically a description of my brain at the end of a work week!!!
There you have it.... calendars will be available as soon as I can squeeze in some time to design them! LOL!
Until then, you can just make the corrections to your current calendars! Red ink is perfect for that!
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Monday, November 17, 2003
kmc posted this at: 12:29 p.m.Mid-Day Distraction. . .
I've posted things like this before... I get emails that are "tidbits" of wisdom from different religions... some of them strike me and cause a vibration in me. So, when they do... I get the urge to share the vibration. Enjoy.
And better than a hundred years
lived without seeing
the Deathless state, is
one day
lived seeing
the Deathless state.
-Dhammapada, 114, translated by Thanissaro Bhikkhu
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I copied it exactly as I received it. I assume there is a reason for the way it was broken into separate lines. I like the structure of it. I like it's message. This is the style of poetry that comes from within me. Not necessarily form that "conforms" to any standards, but rather just that is how it emerges from me. I don't dare ask why a flower blooms with it's petals in a specific direction... that is not my business. What is mine is the choice to appreciate what it is being offered by the flower. And each flower has it's way to present it's petals... none any more or less amazing than the next or other. Each is expressing.... giving without expectation.... flowering, unfolding regardless of who may or may not see it. It just is.
I feel that I have resolved issues within myself about my poetry... I will write again.
be well.
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Sunday, November 16, 2003
kmc posted this at: 06:16 p.m.AW..... Isn't That Cute! ! !
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed
What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
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Sunday, November 16, 2003
kmc posted this at: 03:50 p.m.SHE'S BAAAACK! ! !
I had a wonderful time Friday and Saturday, well today also... Friday night included meeting up for a birthday celebration that was already in progress (many drinks had been consumed) ... Becky and I sat separated from the group to catch up on all the happenings since she had changed work. Then we were invited to join the jovial group. :) snacks and drinks were had by all... and within an hour people were getting out on the dance floor. :) But, it was late so we didn't stay much longer before we had to head to her home. She, her husband and I walked back to the house since it was within walking distance and we had all had drinks. (very responsible!!) Slept like a rock!
Saturday morning slowly unfolded and we had breakfast in town and from there headed out to Monterey... we were rained on for most of the trip... until we hit the Salinas area... at Spreckles we started seeing cloud breaks - blue sky! And, by the time we were parked in Monterey it was a lovely, "partly-cloudy" day! We meandered around the Fisherman's Wharf casually enjoying the shops and views of the water. After the Wharf we headed out towards Cannery Row... equally as fun, wandering through various little shops, stopping and taking a few pictures along the way. We had a late lunch (early dinner?) at Sly McFly's and then topped that off with a coffee from Starbucks across the street (they are EVERYwhere!)... We walked and browsed and walked.... mostly walking... it was a very exercise filled day. Around 4:30pm we headed back to the vehicle with the intent to make it up to Carmel to wander and shop there as well. By the time we hit Carmel, though, it was 5:30 and it seems most of the shops (especially the Carmel Plaza) close at 6:00... well, that put a bit of a damper on browsing! But we did make it into a few art galleries that remained open until 7:00-7:30 pm... which was fabulous... EXPENSIVE stuff... but absolutely fabulous artwork! Amazingly, we filled a good two hours at Carmel with the few shops that were still open. And then, a shopping mall!! We hit the Manrus (not sure if I spelled that right)... it's just outside of, or part of Monterey... we spent a bit of time there and then had dinner at Marie Calendars... I had the potatoe soup! Warmed me right up! And a great finish to a packed day! We went right to bed when we reached her house again... we were both beat from all the walking! But we loved every minute of it.
We've decided that we have to set aside a whole day just for Carmel by itself... so, another weekend.... some other day! It was so much fun catching up and getting to visit Becky! And now we have plans to do it again. :) YAY!
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Friday, November 14, 2003
kmc posted this at: 05:00 p.m.MONTEREY HERE I COME! ! !
okay, so it's not a VACATION vacation, but it is a nice mini-holiday... I am traveling up the coast this evening to spend the day with a friend in Monterey and then possibly Carmel too. It should be a fantastic, relaxing, rejuvinating, pleasurable experience! I will take photos to share on my PHOTOS link later. :)
I will be "back" on Sunday to chat with those who are online...
HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND! I know I will!
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Thursday, November 13, 2003
kmc posted this at: 09:04 p.m.Disagreement...
I took the comments off the last posts. It appears that the party I "wasn't talking to" has reacted more than the "party I was talking to"... the one I supposedly offended. Haven't heard another word at all from Mysteries & Mayhem ICQ user. I will stop using the comments in the meantime. It appears that "the party I wasn't talking to" has become equally as outraged as the "party I was talking to"... This is still my website and I do have a right to edit what anyone puts on my site. Comments, whatever..... if anyone feels the need to vent, I would highly suggest getting an account through pitas... it's free and it is already set up. But this is my grain of sand in the internet beach... this is where I post my thoughts regardless of how outrageous anyone may think them to be. I do not expect anyone to agree, disagree, or do anything but read them if they feel so inclined to do so. As with my issue with Mysteries & Mayhem... I do not feel the need to be told exactly what I should and should not be doing with my life or any part of it. I have taken responsibility for falling into this game that Mysteries & Mayhem started... but I quickly realized the game and removed myself from the situation. I do not feel the need to censor any of my words that I put here. This is my cathartic out post. This is my sacred space to unload what I feel.... as with any diary. This all started with the "Get Your Own Blog" comment... and it snowballed from there. Hind sight... just delete from this point forward. This is my "Daily Planet"..... I am the Editor. If you disagree so strongly with anything I write... then don't visit again... this is a big internet... this is a big state.... this is a big world.... life moves on.
Thank you again to all those who sent private email messages too. Your thoughts (both positive and negative) were appreciated.
be well.
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Wednesday, November 12, 2003
kmc posted this at: 11:26 p.m.Books Are Lightworkers Too!!!
Tonight I took a leisurely stroll through Borders with Zoe looking at various books; seeing what struck me. I had been looking numerous times at a few books by Stuart Wilde. Tonight I picked up a few of his small books... ones I call 'half hour fixes'... The first one I picked up this evening when I got home was "Life Was Never Meant To Be A Struggle" - one section has so absolutely hit a deep chord with me... thought I'd share:
"Identifying Struggle:...
...
10) Your Spiritual Balance: Balance is natural. Whenever you force something to happen, you have come off-balance to do so. How much do you exist in the flow? And how much do you have to push?
The difference between a spiritual person and a person who is less evolved is that spiritual persons are real. They live within the truth of the inner self, what many call the Higher Self. They don't play games; they don't have to make excuses. They can say with conviction, "I am what I am." They realize that they are neither all-knowing nor perfect and are happy with that.
Because people are generally weak, they tend to be phony and play out a character who is not them -- who is not truth. So they struggle to maintain a Jekyll and Hyde existence. One is the offical image the ego/personality says has to be maintained, and the other, what they really are. Often, people are so settled into their ego's reality that they won't realize what the Higher Self within is telling them. They see the fake character as real and will struggle to maintain that. Their energies and lifestyles become so fragmented that every effort to achieve anything becomes a painful grind."
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It feels so good to have confirmations as one journeys through life. I am secure with who I am... I am not trying to force a change of my beliefs; not trying to become anything... just working on "just be". I can exist just as I am and do very well. I don't have to do anything 'superluminous' to prove anything. When the time is right, I will "glow with the flow!"
be well.
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Wednesday, November 12, 2003
kmc posted this at: 6:45 a.m.I Draw Them Out, I Guess...
I would like to preface this post to let you know that it is a conversation that occured between myself and someone who "found" me on ICQ... it gets very harsh with wording and there is an immense amount of negative energy that pours from it... but I am choosing to post this because the "person" seems to like getting attention via me... I take opportunity to shine light on it... and to stand firm in the belief in my OWN spiritual journey. I appreciate the lightworkers who have offered me assistance and guidance without ANY negativity... I know the lightworkers by their true energy. I know I still have growth in me... and that I am cleaning up the vessel... working on the energy that I send out.
Here is the conversation from the moment I arrived home:(this is a LONG LONG post)
Mysteries & Mayhem [6:37 PM] :
I was mistaken...I do play Diable II.
MsCapriKell [8:56 PM] :
:) hey, I tried to call a few times... I was out longer than I had hoped to be.
Mysteries & Mayhem [8:57 PM] :
If you get to the Pearly Gates
And you find that they've turned you down
Will you resign unto this fate?
Nash your teeth as you calmly drown?
(In the Lake of Fire)
Or will you stand on, "I've made it this far!"
"And I refuse to be halted now!"
"St. Peter stand aside or you may just find
your Holy Ass laid out on the ground!"
We've waited SO long
We've journeyed on and on
So, if they won't take us up in Heaven...
We're gonna raise Hell
We've gotta raise Hell
Oh, we can heal the wounds of forever
They're gonna sing when we ring the bell
We're gonna raise Hell
We've got to raise Hell
I say the time is now my god bring Heaven down
Or we're raisin' Hell!!!
MsCapriKell [9:01 PM] :
wow! very strong lyrics..... I am assuming they are lyrics from the set up... poetry, lyrics.... whichever... I like.
MsCapriKell [9:01 PM] :
So, what's the deal? why did you not answer the phone? :(
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:03 PM] :
It's been said that a Piper plays
He's calling you to join him
So they say,,,
Yet, still the mystery ramains
What is this really worth?
We'll on a warm Southern Summer's Day
"Twas at a cross roads say the claims
A place where slavery's decay takes it's greatest toll.
The story tells of a Dark Exchange
A boy who bartered his soul for fame
Yet, what I see'neath this masquerade is a noble birth.
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:03 PM] :
And stll we journeyed on
This spirit can't be wrong
And if they won't take us up in Heaven
We're gonna raise Hell
We've gotta raise Hell
Oh we can heal the wounds of Forever
They're gonna sing when we ring the bell
we're gonna raise Hell
We've got to raise Hell
I say the time is Now my god bring Heaven down.
Or we're raisin' Hell!!!
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:04 PM] :
Yeah,,I was looking for a disk with a bunch of my lyrics on and I couldn't find...so I had to just sit here and type these out and I'm getting weary and making alot of mistakes trying to see through blurry eyes
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:05 PM] :
I wonder if she has any idea of what I'm alluding to in that second verse?
MsCapriKell [9:06 PM] :
another song perhaps.... and a movie about.... crossroads? Johnny and the devil?
MsCapriKell [9:07 PM] :
yes/no?
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:08 PM] :
My heart
Sings my song
My own song
And that aint wrong or right
Your heart
Sings your song
A timeless song
About what's neither wrong or right
Behold the dance
Each fragile wavelength
Busily singing on it's merry way
Then at a glance graced by another
A purposeful brother seeks to learn and play
Mistaking intentions we can burn and bristle
We think that He means...
He thinks that he means...
From shade to light each cut of this chisel
Is further defining this brave Passion Paean...
of Love
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:08 PM] :
Yup!
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:09 PM] :
Bingo! I didn't know if you knew about Robert Johnson or not.
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:10 PM] :
Someone...something...some power or force...is trying to save humanity through music...
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:11 PM] :
truly
And Rock music has been the most powerful in that regard.
i find it interesting that most music styles...are brought to us by the most acursed race...and the more suffering we heap upon them...they more powerful the cry for salvation
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:12 PM] :
Do you realize that the song Stairway to Heaven is actually instructions on exactly what it says?
MsCapriKell [9:12 PM] :
salvation? save humanity? this is the part I don't quite understand or agree with...
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:12 PM] :
And who is this Piper the song speaks of?
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:12 PM] :
you're getting caught up in the words and the fucked up spin that Christianity has placed on them.
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:13 PM] :
If you continue to allow that to happen you are gonna be robbed of alot.
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:13 PM] :
Christianity has ruined many words and terms that have a meaning that is purer...yet they have spun it and made it trite.
MsCapriKell [9:13 PM] :
but you keep referencing GOD and HEAVEN, HELL.... all symbols immortalized by christianity
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:14 PM] :
And alot of people can't get past that..so the ignorant fucks...if they are ignorant in their intent..have won.
MsCapriKell [9:14 PM] :
so what is heaven to you?
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:15 PM] :
That's because that is the language that is spoken here. There is a lnguage between language as we know it and tekepathic communication...symbolism. That is the language spoken in music and the language that all souls understand intuitively though perhaps not in their conscious mind.
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:16 PM] :
oh...you nkow I don't know if i gace the energy to do this right now. I didn't know you had this deficit.
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:16 PM] :
And what's gonna happen ios it's gonna take on the tone of me trying to convinve you and I am, not comfortable with that,.
MsCapriKell [9:17 PM] :
wow.... that hurt.... maybe this is not a good idea to chat right now then.
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:17 PM] :
ok...goodnight
[Mysteries & Mayhem appeared to go offline at this point]
MsCapriKell [9:26 PM] :
you still didn't answer why you didn't take my call tonight. Is there something that you haven't told me about you? Not only had your tone changed, but also your accuracy with your typing. I have seen this before in someone, so I am just curious. The word "deficit" is what really struck me hard tonight. I don't take lightly to people being rude to me. I have not treated you badly... I merely asked you to explain something.
Mysteries & Mayhem [9:36 PM] :
Ok...now you've gone too far. I WILL NOT continue to be compared to someone else, have my veracity questioned and clearly you have some trust issue...and I'm just not prepared to swim against another stream of this sort.
I came back on to remind you that I am human also. I have weathered more of this kind of fear motivated skepticism than I care to ever conjur back up.
I am prepared and willing to share manythings that have been shown me...but, I thought you were appropriately prepared so that I would not encounter this type of groundless resistance once again. And Frankly, I just cannot...at this crucial stage in my unfolding...take on such a task. And it has been my experience that almost never when I am forced to do this kind of major overhaul on someone's understanding...does it ever actually take anyway...because the person is predisposed to put forth this resistance for some reason not obvious. So, merely explaining in great detail with irrefuteable logic doesn't affect them one bit.
So, you decide. But, I am not gonna have some big discussion over this either. Either you have been prepared for what I bring....or you are just another bear trap waiting to snap shut about my ankle...and emotionally....it could prove very costly so...
MsCapriKell [9:45 PM] :
I wasn't CONTINUING to compare you to someone else... I've seen injuries that affect people and so I was concerned.... Wow, nice blow up at me though. And it sounds like you have just as many issues as I do. I was trying to establish a friendship and get to know you... not have you do an overhaul on me. I am quite capable of taking my spiritual journey with the lightworkers who are offering their help without threat.
MsCapriKell [9:47 PM] :
YOU have all of these restrictions and set things that YOU will NOT do... but you expect me to leap and change as you ommand? for only having known you by chatting two days? I find you quite intriguing and would love the opportunity to talk with you futher... but I am not leaping into a relationship... I am establishing a friendship... FRIEND...
MsCapriKell [9:56 PM] :
you know... you had anticipated earlier in conversation that your ego would take over and say something. I am truly saddened... I had hoped this could be something spectacular... I did trust, and now I feel gullible. I wish you well. and thank you for the brief but very enlightening and encouraging chat. You have made a very powerfully positive impact on me.
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:18 PM] :
Oh my god!
ok...well, I've met you before. Out comes that hideous face that I've seen SO many times. I'm not even kind of prepared or willing to rollup my sleeves and begin to tackle all of the issues you now have on the table that aer so very unnecessary, erroneous, etc. in fact, I'm not even gonna tell you that you are wrong....be right...that's fine. You came off great...but, this was a fast decent into just all the same old neurosis.
MsCapriKell [10:19 PM] :
just as I had suspected. thank you for the confirmation.
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:20 PM] :
I realize that there is no way ever...that we could continue...because...I'd have to give away too much. you've learned how to begin to define yourself and not allow others to mess you around and that's great. But, you are just gonna give me one batch of grief after the next and I can't go there. So, goodbye
MsCapriKell [10:20 PM] :
I am well. and I have lightworkers guiding me
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:20 PM] :
Oh god!
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:21 PM] :
This is what I messaged you about originally...this grbage...empty garbage.
MsCapriKell [10:21 PM] :
yes god too
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:21 PM] :
Go for it girl....and good luck to you.
MsCapriKell [10:21 PM] :
and to you as well.
MsCapriKell [10:22 PM] :
it seems that since I didn't follow you devoutly, you've become just as enraged as christians get...
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:23 PM] :
wrong! think that if you want...but, please...don't push this...have some compassion...I'm not gonnagive it to you the way I would love to...so, I would appreciate it...if you intend to continue with this perspective that you just leave me alone.
MsCapriKell [10:23 PM] :
I am still the same person I have been since we started chatting. I have not REACTED at you... I have inquired... but you want me to follow your orders blindly... been there, done that ... when I was a child and going to church.
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:24 PM] :
I'm telling you that I need to not have this kind of upset in my life right now. S please.
MsCapriKell [10:24 PM] :
And I do? you approached me.
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:25 PM] :
You fucking fucking cunt!!! You are so fucking deluded by your own perspective...are you fucking happy now that you got me pissed off...no go the fuck away bitch!!!
MsCapriKell [10:25 PM] :
you proclaimed this "love" for me... I did not ASK for you to do all this.
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:25 PM] :
you fucking asshole
MsCapriKell [10:25 PM] :
your choice.
MsCapriKell [10:25 PM] :
your true colors.
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:25 PM] :
Oh...kiss my ass with your mock peaced!! you fucking fraud!!
MsCapriKell [10:25 PM] :
I am still happy with me.
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:26 PM] :
yeah whatever...yours...I asked you nicely but you had to keep harping at mne...just like any fukcing dunmb cunt!
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:26 PM] :
good now hit the fucking bricks
MsCapriKell [10:26 PM] :
I am sorry you feel so badly about yourself that you would project such images towards me and perceive me to be what you see in yourself.
MsCapriKell [10:27 PM] :
take one of your blue pills.
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:27 PM] :
Oh my god...you are completely self centered...you don't care one bit about my well being you just keep on pushing your trash. very sad
MsCapriKell [10:28 PM] :
I have said nothing trashing like what you have spewed at me just now... look at the mirror.
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:28 PM] :
thanks alot...thank you very much for creating exactly what I was trying to avoid....you've done your job and done it well.
MsCapriKell [10:28 PM] :
I am defending myself.
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:29 PM] :
no you're going on ignore...because you are a dangerous fraud...just like so many others...and you were just sent something magnificent and you allowed your pettiness to destroy it.
You will some day come to see that is the truth.
MsCapriKell [10:29 PM] :
be well.
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:31 PM] :
whew! Thanks god I got you shut up.
You've just done yourself serious damage...because you are gonna have to blind yourself to all of the evidence to invalidate me....you'll only look at the last couple hours of my behavior and hang everything on that. Not even looking at yourself one drop.
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:32 PM] :
You just chose form over substance...and you will think your hands are full but it will slip through your fingers and you will be left holding nothing.
Mysteries & Mayhem [10:32 PM] :
I don't who your ex is or what happened but you are seriosuly stained.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Yes, I realize how long that was... but that was the entire conversation... I will spend some time in meditations to learn my lessons from this encounter. I am already aware that I am a strong person... I do not and did not doubt who I was the entire time. I did not change anything about me... did not REACT... now, granted, I did defend myself; but my Mars is Ruled by Aries in my chart... I will defend what I feel is valid... and I believe my views about me to be very valid! I am also very sure that my journey is very valid as well... my spirituality is growing so well. I am pleased with this encounter's results.
thank you for the catalyst to learn more about myself. I wish you well. I have no ill intent towards you.
be well.
oh wow, I just realized this is my 11th post of the 11th month!!
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Tuesday, November 11, 2003
kmc posted this at: 6:48 a.m.Dinner, Friends, & MATRIX!
Had a spectacular evening last night. Met up with friends for an evening filled with sharing and open-minded conversations. The evening started out with good wine and great food!! I am very please with the entire evening within myself. I won't go into all the great tiny details, but the ones who were involved know who they are.... and I appreciate each one of the uniquely! Thank you for sharing your time with me.
We all went out to see Matrix: Revolutions, too! It was good, I really enjoyed it. From many "reviews" (And including the long drawn out one in my Comments section of one of my last posts)... I can say that I was not disappointed! I enjoyed the artistic magic of the movie making as well... spectacular computer technology ... it was flawless! I also picked up a few subtle images that struck me.... the earrings... they were a green-greyish color yin/yang symbol. Not black and white... but both sides the same color. THAT stood out to me! I am sure I will pick up more things as I see it again. I will probably go again before I write up my own review of it. At this point my stance is: It was as equally entertaining as all the others. With the possibilty (or not) of another sequel.
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Monday, November 10, 2003
kmc posted this at: 12:19 p.m.Letting go...
At the close of the weekend, I officially am LETTING GO.... of numerous things. I do not wish to carry such baggage to weigh me down. I do not feel the need to burden or create illusions of burden for myself. I know who I am... without the baggage... and I like that. I like who I am.... I AM who I like. As simple as that sounds, it is incredibly liberating. I am not being mean if I don't get along with someone and choose not to communicate or be around them. I am learning, by the encounters, more about myself... I do appreciate every person with whom I have had contact. I now open myself to new experiences though. I know what feels comfortable to me. And I will follow and trust my intuition... it has been "given to me" as a guide. Use the tools that are given... why make life more work for oneself? So, here I am ... clean slate... ready to experience. I am ready to jump into the unknown to fly or fall... whichever is out there for me to do. I choose happiness... negativity is not a necessary part of my life. Therefore, I do not feel the need to "hang on" to "repair" things that do not necessarily fit with me.
Does it all sound like babble... maybe .... this is an insight into my head... you've seen my thoughts now. This is not about any ONE person... no singular outside catalyst... but rather, numerous pieces of straw that have collected. I now choose to shake vigorously and remove the bundle that I have allowed to hitch a ride. Fall and dissolve... I do appreciate the lessons I have learned from each piece of straw, and I thank each piece as it falls away into the enigmatic unknown. I am new again... come with me on my journey as I encounter new experiences.
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Saturday, November 8, 2003
kmc posted this at: 06:40 p.m.Irrational Number Me...
After doing my post, I went visiting.... Zoe had a fun quiz... it's short, go ahead and give it a shot! Here was my result:
| What Irrational Number Are You? | You are √2 You are in good company, many other square roots are also irrational numbers. Just by being a square root you have been branded a radical. You are considered very attractive, especially by Europeans (at least on paper.) You fear that a relationship with another √2 may somehow end up complex and ultimately imaginary. In reality, only another √2 will make you whole. Your lucky number is approximately 1.41421356 | |
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Saturday, November 8, 2003
kmc posted this at: 06:25 p.m.Another Saturday...
Got an early start this morning.... was at the old place by 8:00 am cleaning and clearing out the remaining items. In the midst of that, I took a break and went to the festival they were having at Halcyon. Picked up a few items from friends who have booths there. I also found another solid Lapiz stone ring. I was so happy to see the stone rings again! :) so, I am once again adorned with a beautiful stone that completely touches my skin all the way around. I also picked up some very lovely fragrant lotions and oil; one lotion scented with Hyacinth, another lotion scented with Tuberose, and an almond oil scented with Amber.
Then I returned to Pismo, avoiding the main area because of the band review flooding the city with tons and tons of people, made my way over to Shell Beach for my Steaming Bean visit. And then went back to the old place to finish up laundry and such. Watched a bit of TV while doing that and then was invited upstairs to have tacos with my landlords. It was a very nice afternoon .... productive... I got quite a bit cleaned and all the laundry done! (I had used their towel and bedding supply that came with the renting of the room.)
And now, I am back home again... boxes crowd my room... slowly things are making their way to their designated places... may not be permanent, but... it works for the moment. The bathroom is my next project... getting everything in a spot. Making it my space now. Oh, and the hot water issue with my shower has been fixed! YAY! I don't have to go upstairs and use their bathroom.... :) I feel a little better now....it's almost been a week here... I would say that after a month, it should really feel like home. A little more interaction with the roommates and things should be fine.
Well, for those of you who have clear skies... enjoy the full moon and then the full moon eclipse! What a great occurance of astrological events going on this day! I am looking forward to the new energies! :) Now is the time to let go of any and all old "baggage" that has been weighing you down... negativity is now on the "out"... there is no need for feeding the concept of negativity by reacting to it. A new moment... a clearer here and now. I am very thankful for the present moment awareness. Blessings of new vibrations... new ways of thinking, new ways of reacting, acting, responding; change is good. May each of you be blessed with this new awareness. Transcend the obvious; Emerge from the coccoon; just be.... and just be with those around you. Non-judgment day is here. Live in CHOICELESS AWARENESS. Judge not, and likewise, you will not be judged. Acknowledge that which is; love. Know that love is not something which you make, do, become, need, fall into, or anything like that... it just IS... just be.
Peace to all existence; so mote it be!
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Wednesday, November 5, 2003
kmc posted this at: 01:42 p.m.Why do these questions come???
Weird questions pop in my head while listening to the radio during my workday. The "Smoke Free" advertisements.... why is it that they want to send you a 30 day supply of a product that is supposed to make you stop smoking in 7 days guaranteed???
Do I analyze too much?
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Wednesday, November 5, 2003
kmc posted this at: 10:25 a.m.Tissue Issue! ! !
ARGH! okay... am I the only one who experiences this? Kleenex tissues, the square box...right about when you reach the middle of the box the supply for some reason doesn't dispense itself so one has to reach down into the box and try to catch the tissue and pull it again to start dispensing properly again.... frustrating.... I don't like torn tissues...
okay, I feel a little better now.
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Wednesday, November 5, 2003
kmc posted this at: 07:00 a.m.Getting Settled In...
Well, I have spent two nights in the new place. One of the downfalls of being on the bottom floor.... it's colder... I do okay though... I have a heated blanket and a down comforter so I stay cozy while sleeping. Things are finding there place in the scheme of room decoration. I am very happy that I have my shoe rack placed and shoes put away!! Accomplishment!!!
I have my photos up finally from hallowe'en... and then a couple other shots from the beautiful rain storm that blew through our state! YAY the rain came just like I had asked for it... see, if you've read my posts before... I have this "knack" for getting what I wish for. (Get your wishes to me now for priority processing! LOL!)
Another day.... time to fly!
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Monday, November 3, 2003
kmc posted this at: 01:53 p.m.Get A GRIP! ! !
A recent reading of crystallyn.com regarding the newest Christian craze of judging Harry Potter books as Satanic. Okay.... c'mon! Get a grip. Let's take a look-see at some other novels that Christians have "endorsed".... The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe... HELLO!... it's all FANTASY... just because J.K. Rowlings doesn't openly proclaim the name of "God" or "Jesus" it her books, all of the sudden, the magic and fantasy is considered Satanic. Pahleeease! I mean, look at some of the stories in the Bible even.... alchemist ativities: turning water to wine, abudant loaves and fishes....OH, BUT... that is "a miracle".... storytelling is storytelling.... it's fanciful to stimulate the creativity and imagination in people.
Oy Vey! In my opinion... there can be god without religions. In other words, there can be "the energy," "the source," "God," or whatever you want to call it... but religion has become so narrow-minded that it instantly resorts to judgment and criticism... as if any ONE person can really have that kind of authority. If you do not believe as this specific person believes then instantly "Satan" has you under his spell.... Please, I don't think there would be near as many murders, conflicts, hardships if it were not for the enforcing of specific beliefs on others. Why can't people just translate in their heads? If I say..."The Universe has blessed me with safe travel"... any Christian can just translate into their own head, "God gave her safe travel"... instead they have this need to change everyone.... except themselves. Instead of sharing compassion, they share conditional compassion.... if you believe this way, then we will help you or bring food to starving children. Using money and food to change a starving group of people. Why not just show the act of kindness? But, no, there has to be "witnessing" to the "lost souls"... what does that mean anyway? really? Last I knew, to "witness" something.... was to OBSERVE it! I just don't see the concepts as logical any longer.
That is why I grew out of that phase. I knew there was something much simpler to life... without the fear-based "love" that was taught to me by people who "believed" in something that they could not explain. To place expectations on everyone you encounter to be in exactly the same mindset as you.... hello... setting self up for MANY disappointments. It has been sooooo much easier to be open-minded and appreciative of all the views of life. I have learned so much more in the past 3 or 4 years than I ever learned in my childhood years. (well, aside from the basic scholastic stuff).
Now, I am not saying there needs to be life without god.... just without religion, dogmas, enforcement.... anger.... it's just not necessary.
Wow, okay.... stepping down from soapbox.... I think I've made my point.
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Monday, November 3, 2003
kmc posted this at: 07:28 a.m.Moving...
Moving has been, uhm...
1) Fun
2) Challenging
3) Exciting
4) Stressful
5) Exhilerating
6) Refreshing
7) Sad
8) Tiring
9) All of the Above...
Yes, this weekend consisted of moving, packing (my unusual style of doing that), loading, unloading... it is exciting; yet at the same time it is a little sad... I will miss the place I am moving from now. But I do look at the positive in this situation... new beginnings, opportunity to meet new people, and new challenges to make me stronger.
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