FIRSTS
First job: burger joint... sonic drive-in, actually!
First self purchased CD: (I lived in the age before CD's so...): CD: probably something techno/ambient/clubby.
First piercing/tattoo: boring.... the basic thing.... ears.
First true love: the one that I met in April 2001.
First enemy: I had/have enemies???

LASTS
Last big car ride: SF trip!
Last kiss: my birthday (that's right.... haven't kissed anyone in 2 months)
Last library book checked out: ... lost my library card... I couldn't even remember!
Last movie seen: Return of the King (yes, I see a trend here... "long time" since...)
Last beverage drank: coffee!!!
Last food consumed: pretzel sticks to kill the hunger!
Last phone call: to Jen to see what she was upto.... she didn't answer!
Last CD played: Celine Dion's latest.
Last annoyance: slow drivers
Last pop drank: Vanilla Coke.... cuz plain coke is just..... well.... plain.
Last ice cream eaten: Coldstone.... Cherry Cake Double Take!!!
Last time scolded: drawing a blank here.....
Last shirt worn: prior to work.... the comfy pj shirt that I love!

FAVORITES
Number: 11
Color: green!!
Day: SATURDAY (weekends rock!)
Month: July... it's usually warm then.
Song: Could Never Be Sorry For Love - Celine
Season: Living in CA, I've kinda forgotten what those are.... spring (since that seems to be the most common one here).
Drink: Going out: Cosmo or some martini type. Casual: Cream soda.
Quote: "I am you are me; transcend the obvious - just be." - self discovered epiphany.

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I've had a bit more thoughts scrambling throughout my head lately. So, one of the thoughts that really struck a chord in me was after hearing a bit of a program about the Power of Intention. Dr. Wayne Dyer (I think that's who it is) speaks of purpose of life, intentions, the differnet faces of intent... and such... very cool program on PBS. The one thing that really got me to thinking was living one's life "on purpose".... it's like saying you live your life in a way that is on track ... or on the path.... however you want to phrase it. Now, part of me thinks I have been living my life "on purpose".... following and doing what I feel is appropriate for my existance. Learning always. Choosing my reactions, living those reactions rather than bottling them inside, moving on out of past moments, and so on.... It feels like an extraordinary present moment awareness. I can say that there is nothing I regret experiencing in life. I would not change a thing about what has happened to me or who I've known or been with throught the years. Each step, each person has been a lesson; a catalyst for me to learn more about myself. Each one of those events in my life has made me into the sentient being that I am now. Very aware of my spiritual growth in all of this. Happier by choice. Living by choices now made in a greater awareness of intent. And the only intent that I can "worry about" or control is my own. Other than that... it is merely observation of my choices of reaction or action from the catalystic events that occur around me. As those events keep unfolding, I am aware that so many positive things happen to me now because I do not surround myself in negative thoughts of "what if".... or "I can'ts"... I am very aware that my life is a splendorous moment. And, it is a waste of time to do anything other than be in the present moment and LIVE in the awareness. Experience things more fully. When I am mad, I live in that moment, experience what has made me mad... observe why I choose to react in such a way... and quite quickly the emotion of the moment has passed and the anger/reaction passes. I am not saying that I have the emotions and reactions down like some guru... but I am aware of me... that I know is the greatest step in life. I used to feel that it was everyone else around me that caused all of this to happen to me. Now, I see that I have choosen most of the circumstances either consciously or unconsciously. The challenges are becoming more and more strenuous.... and all the more rewarding once I surpass them. I know who I am... but never in a million years could I explain it in these words or even in pictures or diagrams.... I am thrilled at the awareness that I have accomplished. I am ecstatic about the spiritual growth that I have achieved in the past few years. Now, to digress a bit.... do I know what my "life purpose" is? No, I can't say that I do.... but I am aware of "me" so I feel that I am on the right path... therefore, I am living quite close to "on purpose" in this present moment. As new opportunities arrive, I will greet them and see if they correspond with my path... incorporate them if they do, or look into them and see if there is anything I could learn... or let go and move on. It seems so simple... yet it is the most challenging thing I've learned to do.

That has been in my head for a while, I guess.... it just takes a catalyst to get things out sometimes.

So, to feed more into the "favorites" from above.... my favorite exclamation that ran through my head today "Come on; drive it like it's a Mustang!" ... goes with that "annoyance" thing up there. It was immediately funny to me after I said it in my head.

One last funny for the day... I had this link forwarded to me today in an email... an OH MY GODDESS! it cracked me up.... or should I say "popped" me up! Take a look..... Favorite Link of the Day!!!

be well ... or just be!

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Thursday, March 25, 2004
kmc posted this at: 01:01 p.m.

BREAK THE SILENCE!

Had to share this email that I received today... (breaking the silence with humor... how aperpo!)

To all my friends - thank you for sending me all of those chain letters in 2003. As a result:

* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing more than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonald's can sell their Big Macs.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.
* I think I'm turning gay because when I go to parties I don't look at any girl, no matter how hot she is, for fear she'll take my kidneys and leave me napping in a bathtub full of ice.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993...
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the ,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.
* My Erickson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.
* But I'm positive all of this resulted from a stinking chain I broke, or forgot to follow, and I got a curse from hell.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will crap on you today at 7pm.

***********

Ah yes... the CHAIN of CHAINS!

Okay, brief breakdown of "how it's going"... Work is incredibly wonderful! I am enjoying the new opportunities there and the people that I am working with as well. Home life is about the same... been spending a lot of time playing a favorite past-time... (thus the silence here)... getting out with friends and visiting people... taking more PHOTOS!!!

So, basically, I am well... nothing new, nothing to rant about.... a good silence.... just couldn't really decide on what to write here.... so I didn't. I've decided I can do that as well. LIFE IS GOOD!

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Monday, March 8, 2004
kmc posted this at: 11:59 p.m.

Shakespeare Says It So Eloquently. . .

Why call someone a liar, when you could utilize the Shakesperean Insulter and more eloquently say, "False face must hide what the false heart doth know!"

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Monday, March 8, 2004
kmc posted this at: 11:49 p.m.

THIRSTY ? ? ?

You are water. You're not really organic; you're
neither acidic nor basic, yet you're an acid
and a base at the same time. You're strong
willed and opinionated, but relaxed and ready
to flow. So while you often seem worthless,
without you, everything would just not work.
People should definitely drink more of you
every day.

Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ah, yes, gotta love these quizzes! This one cracked me up.... so... water! Drink up!

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Monday, March 8, 2004
kmc posted this at: 11:36 p.m.

Evening Browsing Brings Up a Good Link...

Went browsing tonight..... came across a clever site.... upsoclose blog. It was actually great reading! At times I felt this nice sigh of relief to know that there are really cool people out there raising children with open-minded views and guiding them with compassion. HOW RARE!

One of the links in one of her post got me to giggling for quite a while.... do take a look at Top Twelve Reasons Against Gay Marriage. I was busting up laughing! And from there I ventured onto a very informative (pdf file) Brochure.

Awareness.... one of these days it will all become very clear. Until then, we will have to keep using humor to get the point across. Unity... it's good for ALL of us... so that there is just ONE.

Alrighty.... it's time to wrap up this day....

be well!

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Sunday, March 7, 2004
kmc posted this at: 09:22 p.m.

Spring Ventures In...

I've had quite a few search queries for pictures from the San Luis Obispo Mardi Gras celebration... and today I have come across a gallery of that from Life-Trekker's SLO Mardi Gras gallery. I happened into this gallery by chance from a post in my guestbook. Referrals are always good! And I am always happy to pass along any links that will assist others in their search! :)

Today..... O . M . G ....... it was so incredibly beautiful on the central coast today! I took some PHOTOS!!! How could I not!?!?! It was so warm today that I was hot in a tank top.... ME.... Ms. Icicle-fingers.... I got hot today running around. Actually ordered an ICED White Chocolate Mocha today from Starbucks. AH, the spring weather! I am so happy too..... I was getting a little fussy about all the rain and cold weather.... now, this warm spell is only supposed to be this great for a couple more days, so I am going to soak it in as much as possible!!! Will try to get some more capturing-spring-photos too! Like I need a reason to take pictures! :P

I got some reading in today too.... Stillness Speaks, by Eckhardt Tolle. I do enjoy this person's writing. Very direct.... insightful.... helpful. I have really achieved a greater awareness of "Here & Now" from reading his work. For that, I am extremely grateful!

Well, it feels like the right time to get some more reading in..... so I will wrap this up. It's been a fantastic weekend, I've accomplished quite a bit.... and I feel extraordinarily happy. I can honestly say that I adore my life!! This is bliss!

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Saturday, March 6, 2004
kmc posted this at: 12:33 p.m.

It's Her BLOGGIN' Birthday . . .

"It's Her Words..." Year One:

Lost in cyberspace
seeking a way
to find a place
to unload her day.

365 in time
has passed her by
happy / sublime
a blog one reason why.

You have shared this journey
you are now considered her friends
a new abundant community
sharing and love - the dividends

* * * * * * * * * * *

Wow, yes, indeed..... it has been one year since "It's Her Words..." was started. Today is a reminder of an idea or leap that I took into something I had never even considered before. This was an idea to be able to journal so that my family and friends could stay "up-to-date" on what I had going on in my life since they could never keep up with me.... phone calls are soooo passe! What occured from this idea was a way to open myself up at times and be able to look back with different perspectives as well... evaluating or observing how I was in a specific moment in my life. I was reading through some of my archives the other day and thought some of those words were so very deep. That's what I want again. A journal that explores my inner depths of how I react to my daily life... the thoughts that ensue.... and then to be able to get feedback from outside observers... this new community of which I am a part.

Okay.... so on my blog's birthday I have to do that ceremonial thing that I feel is the proper thing to do. Heh-hem. These are the blogs that I would like to acknowledge as very powerful reasons why I got started in this wonderful journey:

WOODENCRACKER - you got me going in this!! I really enjoyed the writings, the photos, the humor... a unique way to see into a person. You've helped me with code and tricks to make it all work; I am extremely grateful to you for all your assistance! Even to this day you send me tips or new links that you think I would be able to utilize on my site! You are a great friend!

EMDOT - Your blog is this enlightening view of how someone could make their daily (or however frequent) writings into something that gives people an indepth and entertaining view of someone's life. Reading your blog helped me determine how/what I wanted to do with my blog. Thank you, for such a simple this as being you.... and giving me a cool view another local blogger!

Those two are basically the ones who got me going on this endeavor. Very grateful to each. And very grateful to all of my visitors who read my blog now. I have established a new group of friends from having met other local bloggers. I've enjoyed getting to visit different perspectives of the world, seeing life through so many different eyes. It's given me a greater appreciation for where I am at in my life.

So this is my little blipt about having a blog that has turned ONE YEAR today! Keeping my style of "Just Be" and "Knowing the Self"... and will blog away as I experience this journey called life.

Blessings to all,
Be well!!

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Wednesday, March 3, 2004
kmc posted this at: 10:33 p.m.

Where Do I Belong? ? ?

You belong somewhere out in the world, exploring
and learning and spreading the knowledge that
you find. When you love, that love will join
you in your quest and believe as you do in a
world of spiritual energy that is stronger than
anything humanity could normally even conceive,
although you may be able to. Council those you
encounter, give them your wisdom, and stay true
to yourself.

Where do you belong?(ANIME IMAGES)
brought to you by Quizilla

Because Zoe knows how much I love those quizzes.... I took the "Where do you belong?" quiz and wow.... uhm... vague and yet true.... story of my current moment of existence. Boy if this doesn't just confirm a few things for me. Silly as they may appear... if you answer it honestly, you might actually learn a bit about yourself..... who are these people who make up these quizzes anyway????

I've determined that ultimately.... I will label myself..... as...... "Translucently Enigmatic Open Book" - go ahead.... ask away!!!

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Wednesday, March 3, 2004
kmc posted this at: 12:15 a.m.

Starting Over, Again & Again...

I've had so many moments in my life where it feels like I am starting over.... starting something new. I feel like that now... it's hard to explain... it's also been the reason behind the rather empty posts lately. *Something* in me feels as though it is preparing.... or starting a new process. I can't put my finger on it; but I know it is something extraordinary... the only way I can even come close to putting a label on it is to call it .... emptiness. Aloneness. Absolute... and yet there is a part of me (I am guessing it has to be the ego) that is creating this fearful feeling of what is going on... fear of the unknown... but it doesn't feel so "unknown"... it feels natural. Maybe then fear of change? Please, story of my life!!! Fear, maybe then of the death of the ego? Illusions created... I am aware that the ego creates scenarios via the mind to control "me"... ergo, I fear. But I am less inclined to be fearful; almost to the point that I do not fear anything (in the sense of being held back by any said fears)... rather that I am more curious to move forward... or stay still in this "nothingness" that has been discovered. Part of me can say that "I do not require anything".... but instantly I hear my ego demanding otherwise. The practical side that insist that the physical realm must be fed, clothed, made safe... work, play, dream... but *where* really is the "reality" located? Practically, I would like to say that the physical realm is where it is at... but this is the most persistant illusion - ego-fed physical, material, political.... muck. It feels at times like a walk through a marshy bog... trudging forward ever so slowly towards what? .... and having this sticky remanent of the past clinging to your body and murking up how people see you... ..... if I sit still in that bog, what would happen? where would I go? would I sink? would I continue to be? It gets me to quesitoning death... it is a part of the cycle... but *what* part? Most would have you believe it is the END.... but that seems so absurd to me. There can be no end to something that truly has no beginning.

This is my mind, wide open... pouring out... this is the type of writing that I haven't been doing in a LONG time. It's like thinking out loud... and then wondering if any of it makes ANY sense at all...

I am reading again, so that helps.... it stimulates that part of me that has to question everything. I like that part of me! We haven't conversed in a long time!

Well.... I am cutting this post off at a weird ending... maybe I can post more on my "wide open thoughts" later.... that could become a series of posts... yeah, definitely going to do that. Now you have something to look forward to!!! HAHAHA!!!

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Friday, February 27, 2004
kmc posted this at: 10:55 p.m.

Alright Already! ! !

Catching up here... first week at the new employment, working in the accounting department has been wonderful. Of course I am still "me" and demanding so much more of myself than the supervisors are.... I think I should have the position down by heart already.... I realize how irrational that is.... but I still feel the need to meet those kind of self inflicted requirements. The good thing is .... I am aware of what I do now.... so I can observe it... and I am able to forgive myself of such absurdities... I am a humorous creature! I like that I can laugh at myself.

Yesterday was wonderful... on the drive home I noticed the waves were HUGE.... so I stopped to take some PICTURES!!! It was soooo beautiful... and COLD! But I stood out in the salty wind for almost an hour straight taking pictures... about 50.... that is like a picture every minute... I was on a buzz! None of the pictures of the waves really did the waves justice.... they were huge, but I couldn't really capture their magnitude. It was just great getting to be there and experience it.

This evening was great too..... spent it having dinner with Zoe and Elle at Jewel of India. I love Indian Cuisine! We tried thinking of things to do while we had dinner and then it just worked out that we would go to Borders.... we all love Borders, so it was a great idea! Bookworms! We spent part of the evening perusing Earth From Above.... and ..... I have found the place I want to live when I grow old.... or when I win the lottery..... Phuket Island.... now initially it was for the way the word looked like it could be pronounced. That was the humorous part! But in browsing their site.... it really looks like a BEAUTIFUL place to visit or live.... they have phenomenal diving spots there!

Well...... it sounds as if a raging party is going on in the unit connected to our condo..... oh ... joy.... not that I am against partying.... but just not right now. I know that sounds weird... but I am not in the mood for a roaring party until all hours. I may have to act out with some "granny style" complaint.... eeeeek.... I am getting ancient! hahaha!.... I am sure I will fall asleep fine. I'd hate to have to call the police on people... especially when they are having fun. But at what point do you stop taking others into consideration and start taking care of the self??? I am really trying to focus on the self here lately. Reconnecting with my center. Getting back in balance. Finding my words, seeking for inner wisdom... looking deeper within. And it's hard to do that with people yelling and such next door..... or my new task will be to learn to meditate under excruciating circumstances. Challenge!

Well, tomorrow I plan on doing a lot of reading, cleaning, and then a visit to one of my favorite stores in the area. Gettin' all metaphysical-like this weekend! Time for some healing energies!! I will try to post any knowledge that may surprise me during my readings or cleaning... ya never know! Until later.........

BE WELL!

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