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This is my little ode to the gamble that is Trading Spaces. *plug* I love trading spaces and you should too. Watch on TLC every Saturday at 8:00! Disclaimer: All pictures, room designs, etc are the property of wonderful people other than I. I give Trading Spaces all credit for whatever. I did however rework the images into this spiffy little getup some call a layout so don't touch! |
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Zoisite84 |
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Clique
Happy |
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DO PANIC |
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| Wednesday, April 30, 2003 |
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I am listening to the movie of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" Soundtrack. I heart it. It makes me happy. Magically it's one of twenty out of two-hundred cd's I kept. *singing*My sex change operation got botched My guardian angel fell asleep on the watch not all I've got is a barbie doll crotch SIX INCHES FORWARD, FIVE INCHES BACK, I GOTTA...I GOTTA ANGRY INCH. - screamed the gamblin' man @ 04:22 p.m. |
| Wednesday, April 30, 2003 |
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I would like to take this moment to share that I heart A Series of Unforutnate Events . They are very intriguing books. It took me a few books to really get into them but it's a very new and refreshing style. I love how Lemony Snicket writes and the tangled web of a story is confusing enough to make me wonder what in the world is really going on. I REALLY enjoy how he, as the author, becomes part of the story itself. His "unauthorized autobiography" is a kick. And now I'm more confused about what's going on in the stories than I even was! LOL! If you get a chance, give them a read. - screamed the gamblin' man @ 12:34 a.m. |
| Wednesday, April 30, 2003 |
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Today was a day. That the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Sometimes odd statements turn into songs. It is rather distrubing. Monday we start closing at 11. A good and a bad thing. It's all relative. Today we closed at 10 but I was there clenaning until 11 due to technological issues. Anyways, I feel really bad because I didn't let someone get gas at like 10:15 when they were on empty and it wouldn't have hurt. Technically we were closed and they couldn't do it from the outside but I could have done it from the inside. I just got pissed because the pump says "Please visit during regular business hours," she scared the shit out of me because even tho everything except the employee door was locked up, blinds closed, etc, she still felt the need to walk in the employee door, and she expected me to make an exception to the rule for her. It annoys me when people think they are better than the rules. I also have learned the hard way that if you let one person do it then they all will want to and I still had chores to do. Anyways, I feel bad about that. I hope she got to another gas station ok..... In other news I itch. My infection is getting better. At least for that, eh?- screamed the gamblin' man @ 12:19 a.m. |
| Tuesday, April 29, 2003 |
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I feel like a nut. Jamie feels like a moldy nut. Rachel is a nut tree. I am not Miss Cleo. I was a imposter. Foiled by Buffy the Miss Cleo Slayer. I ate the real Miss Cleo. Jamie is not sour spray because then she'd have to go to sour spray school and wouldn't have hands.- screamed the gamblin' man @ 05:43 p.m. |
| Tuesday, April 29, 2003 |
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I need to whine. *whine whine whine* I hate self. Hate everything. Roar. -_- I don't wanna work *whine whine whine* *whine whine whine* - screamed the gamblin' man @ 03:56 p.m. |
| Monday, April 28, 2003 |
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These probably will amount to nothing, or at least nearly nothing, but I guess that's how it works when you're guillable like me. I kinda like filling out surveys so I figured "what the fuck" and signed up at American Consumer Opinion , Clickiq , and My Sony . SoooOoOOo if anyone follows these links and likes what they see sign up and put me (Moonpuff or if they do it by e-mail addy lissarobinson@attbi.com) as your referral. Altho don't hold me accountable if they end up sucking as I have no clue *shrugs* I'm going to stop pimping random things now and get working on other shit! - screamed the gamblin' man @ 10:46 p.m. |
| Monday, April 28, 2003 |
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I fear the refrigerator. It just shocked me REALLY REALLLY friggin hard. My hand's still twitching!!!! It's ALIVVEEEE. It's ALIVVVEEEE. - screamed the gamblin' man @ 01:42 p.m. |
| Monday, April 28, 2003 |
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I'd like to take this moment to take a deep breath and hate myself. Now that that is over I'm going to stress over the now two, count them, two favors I have to ask tonight. I've actually been putting one off for a week and the other off for three months. The first is just asking Firefly's mommy to help with alterations on Jason's uniform (he got a job, by the way - he's a security guard - which is amusing to be, but it's all good). I just hate asking them favors cuz I feel like they always do more for me than I do for them. The whole darn family is too giving for their own good. *feels guilty* The second is asking my parents to donate some money to the "Melissa has to eat this week" fund. You see, I thought everything was going to be ok. Suddenly, due to bills and stuff, I was short $140 on rent. The thing is I just need money now. In the long run everything would have evened out. But try to explain that to Jason. He just refused to grasp the concept of giving me some of the money his dad gave him for bills so that I could pay rent and I'd them pay the bills instead. Instead he decided to tell his dad I'm short on rent and get the money for me. Which is all fine and dandy but seriously - how shitty does that make me look? I begged him not to do it and he still did. It's not his dad's fucking job to take care of me. If he'd explained that the whole reason I needed the money was that I was short on my own bills because I'd been supporting his ass on a very minimal income for so long it would have been one thing butt nooooooOooooooo. He had to make me look like the bad one and he doesn't understand why this upsets me. Anyways, so rent was taken care of. Then I went to the doctor. They upped copay to $20! $10 for medicine and we're now short $30. Then my paycheck was short $10 because I forgot they take out $10 for medical at the end of the month. That's $40. My food/gas/everything else that isn't a bill budget for each week is only $40! So, if I want to eat I'm gonna have to sweet talk the folks. *bangs head against wall* Do you know what sort of hell that is? My mom will give me the speech about how I'm irresponsible and can't even take care of myself. And then I'll hear about it for the rest of my life. Everytime we talk somehow she'll work the fact that I needed $40 for her in 2003 into the conversation and make me feel like crap because that's what she does. Every single thing I ask those people for will be hung over my head for the rest of my life. *swears, curses, and dies* I'm going to go take my drugs. I wish they affected more than my damn toe infection.- screamed the gamblin' man @ 01:29 p.m. |
| Sunday, April 27, 2003 |
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I'm bored. I have a million things should be doin' but don't wanna. So I'm blogging and whining and being a general dumbass. I put the ass in dumbass. WeeeeWWEEEEEEWEEWEEEEWEWEEWE. - screamed the gamblin' man @ 11:58 p.m. |
| Sunday, April 27, 2003 |
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I crave chocolate. Chocolate. Chocolate. I crave Chocolate all day long. I crave chocolate chocolate chocolate. I crave Chocolate lalalalalallalalalala. Chocolate is a hard word to type fast for some reason.- screamed the gamblin' man @ 06:50 p.m. |
| Sunday, April 27, 2003 |
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Ah, what oh what should I blog about? Today I finally made an apointment for the doctor. I fear it. A lot. They are going to yell at me and tell me that I am stupid for waiting so long. I can't wait until I move and get a new doctor. Mom says she has one I'll like. Have to get a job and health care over there first tho. I've had a horrid case of "I wants" lately. I'm sick of being poor. I thought I was out of the doghouse but lo' and behold right when you think you're out...something new comes and slams you back down. I'm broke and I hate it. I hate asking for favors. I've been ponder and hmming and hawwing over one I've promised Jason I'd ask for about a week now. I've decided once again to delay until tomorrow. I know it's bad and he'll be upset but I don't feel like I can do it today. I wish I could get thru life without asking favors. I always worry that people think because I ask favors that I'm using them or something and then I feel guilty even if it isn't the case, which it never is becuase I know that feels like crap, you know? The only other thing I must share is that customers are stupid.- screamed the gamblin' man @ 06:41 p.m. |
| Sunday, April 27, 2003 |
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I feel icky, icky, icky, I feel icky all day long. I feel icky, icky, icky, How do you like my icky song? SECOND VERSE, SAME AS THE FIRST, A LITTLE BIT LOUDER AND A LITTLE BIT WORSE I feel icky, icky, icky, I feel icky all day long. I feel icky, icky, icky, How do you like my icky song?- screamed the gamblin' man @ 09:56 a.m. |
| Wednesday, February 26, 2003 |
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LaLaLa. LaLaLa. I don't wanna go to work anymore. La. La. Work sucks. Lala. Have I mentioned I dislike working. A lot. Mostly because work involves people. I've had this intense fear of people lately. Which, is probably weird but I'm an increasinly paranoid person. You never know when someone is thinking "Wow, what a weird girl. I best she has an invisible levitating blue hedgehog named Waldo." or "ewww.....grosss.......that's girls so.....grosss..." or "Wow, I wish I could pee on that." You just never know. And not knowing is half the battle. I think I may start to be borderline dillousional. In that case I should probably either go to bed or find some vodka. Since I hate vodka and all the liquor stores are closed I pick go to bed. I do have to work tomorrow and I guess that's the better pick anywhoo. Sometimes I wish I was a puck. Squash your brain around that. - screamed the gamblin' man @ 12:42 a.m. |
| Tuesday, February 25, 2003 |
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Entry Deleted. Just thought I'd share this is the third fucking "I hate myself and want to die entry" I've had to delete this week. I'm sure you're crying that you didn't get to read it. You wouldn't have wanted to. It was too depressing and fucked up anyways. So there. Bite me. - screamed the gamblin' man @ 10:52 p.m. |
| Tuesday, February 25, 2003 |
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*yawns* I feel like crap tonight. There's a shocker. I'm also a bit worried about my honey. He's sick. He never gets sick so I've been running around attempting to take care of him. He's so cute and all awww......like a cute little sick puppydog. His first day training at work is tomorrow. I'm a tad worried about that. I hope he can get thru it without puking. Is that how you spell puking? Puke. Puking. I guess so. Pucking is close to Pucca. I heart Pucca. - screamed the gamblin' man @ 10:03 p.m. |
| Monday, February 24, 2003 |
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Today was special. This morning I cleaned. During a break I gotted online and soon I had a Rachel on my doorstep. She played Harvest Moon. Then we started making hearts, like in Harvest Moon. Then an angry symbol and then magically we soon had a gigantic pile of different feelings to hold above our heads. Let's see if I can remember them all. There's the standard : Heart, Singing, Angry, and Sweatdrop. There's the perverted : Porno Sheep, Porno Chicken, Butt, Tounge, and Cucumber. There's the random: Monkey, Vibrating Controller, Clowns, Portrait of Me/Bob/Fuzzy Keg. And we can't forget the blood one, and anti one. Oh yes, it was fun. Then we played on Liquid Generation . It was amusing. Then Jamie came over and Jason's cousin came over and we watched "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back." It was charming, as usual. Boo Boo Kitty Fuck. Then I had a headache. I took medicine and layed down for a while and now I don't. However, I should sleep soon....*ponders*..... - screamed the gamblin' man @ 10:50 p.m. |
| Sunday, February 23, 2003 |
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Well...finally have a new snazzy layout. What, you say, that's a layout? I know you probably think I'm on crack. I think I am too. But it's "all goooooood" - so there. I'm too lazy to archive but I'll do that soon for all y'all and all that good shit. I was also too lazy to do any sort of style sheets so plain jain it is! *pbbt* I'm taking a break to watch *drumroll* Trading Spaces! *heart hearts*- screamed the gamblin' man @ 11:09 p.m. |
| Sunday, February 23, 2003 |
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I officially Love PUCCA! It took me a while, but I finally broke down and watched some Pucca and I heart her! PUCCA! PUCCA! PUCCA! - screamed the gamblin' man @ 11:24 a.m. |
| Friday, February 21, 2003 |
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I'm depressed and want to break things. - screamed the gamblin' man @ 12:36 a.m. |
| Thursday, February 20, 2003 |
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felt the need to this or that 1. Black or white? Definately prefer black.2. Plaid or stripes? Ew, neither. Stripes, I guess... 3. Paperback or hardcover books? Paperback. Harcovers are so difficult to read, especially in bed. 4. Color or B&W printer? Color. Unforunately the type of printer I would like costs like half of what I currently make in an entire year. *cry* 5. Golden oldies or the newest tunes? I have a very specific taste in music. It either has to be old hard rock (Aerosmith, AC/DC, Van Halen, etc) or it has to be new heavy metal/rock (Anything you can mosh to and has a "parental advisory" sticker on the cover). 6. Ice cream: in a cone or a dish? I prefer dish unless it's a waffle cone. Those are pretty good. Regular cones are not that great tho. 7. Bath or shower? I shower usually about twice a day but I prefer baths. It takes longer to do tho so I rarely do. Especially since that would currently require cleaning out the tub.... 8. Are you outgoing or shy? Shy. Hahaha....wouldn't know it from my alternate online personality, would you? 9. Answer the phone when it rings, or screen calls? Screen! LOL! I'm horrible. We have caller ID and everything and if the phone don't tell me who it is I don't answer until the mesasge machine picks up! Otherwise I'd have to talk to lots of evil creditors that really don't help my stress level. 10. VCR or TiVO? HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. I'm just laughing at the idea of ever being able to afford TiVo. I wish, but there's kinda a "yeah, right" attached to that wish. - screamed the gamblin' man @ 02:54 p.m. |
| Thursday, February 20, 2003 |
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I am a bad girl and haven't blogged in a while. I've been kinda down lately and haven't really done anything except sleeping and hating myself. I hate it when I get like this, but today I'm feeling better, which is why I'm blogging, so I'm going to stop talking about being depressed. I finally added a linkie winkie to Saint Comics on the sidebar. I HEART SAINT! Go lookie. It's good stuff. I'm REALLY hoping I'll have a new layout soon. I've just got to get out of my gloom, do some of the more pressing stuff first, and then get on it, ya know? Eep. Don't know why I'm eeping. I just like to eep.- screamed the gamblin' man @ 02:08 p.m. |
| Tuesday, February 11, 2003 |
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Ahhh......*destresses* I have my car back. They couldn't find anything wrong. It wouldn't even act up for them. I feel like a fucking dumbass, but whatever. Life goes on. Luckily the whole little ordeal was helped by the fact that I got rides from Lieko(SHANKYUUUUU). And now I have to get ready for work. (yippie). But first, a quick This or that 1. Bacon or sausage? Sausage, if it's seperate. It's debatable if it's a topping or something.2. Eggs: scrambled or not? Eh, I'm not a big egg fan. I prefer them hard boiled, but that's not really a breafast thing now is it? 3. French toast or regular toast? French! MMMMM! With Peanut Butter, Butter, and Syrup. 4. Pancakes or waffles? Waffles. They have more oomph, but I really like pancakes too. Aren't they basically the same anyways? 5. Mufins or bagels? Muffins, but I really like bagels too!!!! 6. Coffee or tea? Coffee but only if you can't really taste the coffeeness of it (ice mocha, granita, etc). 7. Juice: orange or grapefruit? Grapefruit! 8. Hot or cold cereal? Cereal is just not my favorite thing. I don't eat breakfast becuase all normal breakfasts don't appeal to me. 9. To put in cereal: bananas or strawberries (or some other fruit)? Bananas are ok. Never tried strawberries. 10. Eat breakfast at home or at a restaurant? Restaurant! I like expensive breakfast food, just not the kind I can afford! LOL! - screamed the gamblin' man @ 04:24 p.m. |
| Tuesday, February 11, 2003 |
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Nerves. Havin' serious issues with nerves, I tell you. My stomach is in knots with little butterflies floating all around. It's a tad annoying, I must say. The body really wasn't meant to contain butterflies. They go flutter flutter flutter and make it impossible to do anything. I'm just worried about my car and getting everything done and back in time to work tonight. I worry about everything. It's talent, I tell you, talent. - screamed the gamblin' man @ 12:08 p.m. |
| Monday, February 10, 2003 |
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Man, oh man. I am all sorts of nerves this morning. I get all worked up about the stupdest things. I know it's stupid, but that's doesn't apparently solve the problem. I am just in turmoil because I have to call and try to get a part on my car replaced. I know, it's no big deal, right? Apparently it is for me. *ahhhhh* I'm such a dork. - screamed the gamblin' man @ 11:17 a.m. |
| Friday, February 7, 2003 |
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Ugh. I'm quite happy I have today off. It's been a tad stressful at work lately. Every business has their hell times. For most retail workers it's Black Friday and Christmastime. For florists it's Mother's Day and Valentine's Day. For fuel station employees it's when the prices are raising at astronomical rates and there's the threat of war looming close. First off, if I hear another customer bitching me out for raising prices I'm going to scream. Folks, I'm a peon. My boss doesn't even get to chose when the prices goes up. Neither does my bosses boss for that matter. No, somebody wayyyy on the other side of the state decided that. Plus, they only decide that on what the other stations around us are pricing gas at. We rarely, if ever, set the market. We just go along with the market! Secondly, even if raising gas prices is just an excuse to make richer people rich I don't give a damn. Everyone is convinced that these people who are running the gas businesses are just out to get them. It's us poor little people that suffer blah blah blah blah blah. Must everything be some sort of fucked up conspiracy? Seriously? And lastly it has been fucking busy lately. Not just people filling up little cars. We're talking $60-$80 loads constantly. I think people expect the prices to go up even more and are trying to get while the getting's good. Or at least cheaper than it might be in the future. For the love! I'm just afriad about what this is going to turn into if we do go to war. -_- That will not, my friends, be pretty.- screamed the gamblin' man @ 12:32 p.m. |
| Wednesday, February 5, 2003 |
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I've been quite down lately and therefore utterly inactive. I go thru these times where I just can't handle crawling out of bed. I finally had to today because I kept having really fucked up dreams and suddenly reality was easier to face than sleeping. Doesn't happen often. So, I've been playing Dope Wars incessantly. I find it amusing to change the places you can deal to different things. I now can sell weed at Hogwarts, Nookway (Animal Crossing), Pornville, and even where I work. I am easily entertained, what can I say. You also can edit wepons. I am currently beating up cops with dildos. Heehee. *is a dork* I really need to kick myself back to reality and get to work on cleaning, bills, Cliquehappy, a new layout, and my portfolio, but I've just been full of funkiness lately.- screamed the gamblin' man @ 04:42 p.m. |
| Friday, January 31, 2003 |
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LaLaLa. LaLaLa. *yawn* For some reason getting ready at 4:30 in the morning takes a lot less time than at 10:00 in the morning. Which entirely makes no sense because of the fact that I'm tired earlier and therefore should take longer becasue I'm dragging, right? Maybe I'm just crazy. Yep, that must be it. I'm gonna leave early tho in hopes of grabbing some breakfast!!! (: I'm amused by the new Neopets grame. It is quite special. You have to click on pop ups that get in the way so that you can play the game. *hee* In other news I have been having a lot of dreams lately where I get arrested. All for different things. Last night me and my friends (never seen them before in real life) broke into some place and stole a bunch of animals. We wanted to "liberate" them. Something involving a puppy and a little boy, I'm not sure. However, the community got really pissed off and chased us down in the mall with a giagantic "we hate puppy stealers" float. Yes, a float, like in a parade.- screamed the gamblin' man @ 05:11 a.m. |
| Thursday, January 30, 2003 |
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*dies* OW! I hurt! ): My toes are now unbearable painful to the touch. I think I'm finally at the point that I'm going to have to go to the doctor before my toe gets so infected that if falls off. It used to be that I could at least work on prying out the toenail when it got all puffy or at least drain some shit out of the swollen areas but I literally cannot touch the toe now. As you imagine this makes shoes excuciatingly horrid. Anyways, it continuously oozes clear stuff on the right and white crap on the left. Which is lovely, really. Big glaring hint that I need to go to see the doctor, wouldn't you think? Yeah, I found a website last night that informed me that my toes are in the second stage of the three step process of ingrown toenail infection. I'm so proud. - screamed the gamblin' man @ 06:42 p.m. |
| Thursday, January 30, 2003 |
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ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I can't sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate that. I really do. It's almost five in the morning and I can't for the life of me get to sleep. *pulls out hair* I layed in bed for hours. I give up. I think part of the problem is my stomach is having "issues" and it's hard to sleep around it flip flopping and threatening to explode. I gave up sleeping and spent the last half hour or so searching the house for pennies. (pennies, not penis. I know where to find the later). Which, yes, is really pathetic (that I'm searching for pennies not that I know where to find a penis). I told you I'm in a fiancial rut now and every cent (literally) helps. I'm collecting money to put in a coinstar machine. *splat* Don't mind me. I'm just splatting. That's what happens when you can't sleep and you know you have to wake up for work tomorrow! ARGHARGHARGH!!!! - screamed the gamblin' man @ 04:37 a.m. |
| Wednesday, January 29, 2003 |
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Gofuckingdamnit. Argh. I am so in the hole. I don't even know what to do anymore. I have all these bills I'd love to pay but I just don't have enough money. For the love I even had to sell most my cds and books just to keep our phone on and power going (both were going to shut us off, thank you very much) Jason has an interview tonight. I'm praying he gets/keeps this job. We desperately need it right now. But that won't even help all the money I've been putting into paying for everything and paying for both of us to eat that I haven't been able to put into my bills the last half a year or so. *throws hands on table and screams - it's not fair!* I can support me on this budget, but NOT both of us!!! All my credit card and loan bills are getting really bad and I still can't do anything about it. I'm especially worried about all the money I owe on student loans that I haven't been able to pay. I really really want to get caught up on those payments. To stress me out even more, I finally got my W2 and it's bad news. I was hoping, rather praying, that somehow I'd get money back on taxes. *buzzer* Nope, oh nope, this year of all the years I have to actually pay MORE for taxes. How the fucking hell I'm supposed to do that is beyond me. I am feeling bitter and angry at the world. GRRRRRR.- screamed the gamblin' man @ 03:58 p.m. |
| Wednesday, January 29, 2003 |
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Hm. I should sleep. I really need to get some better sleeping habits. Somehow tho they don't feel the need to form. Which is bad considering tomorrow I work night but then I have day and then *drumroll* TWO MORNINGS! Going to bed at 6am won't work when I have to be up at 4:30am! -_- I finally gotted what I needed to done for the week. Tomorrow I'm hoping to get up at a decent time so I can clean, catch up on bills, and hopefully get up a new blog layout. Oh, and maybe some more CH additions. Those just keep racking themselves up! Ugh. - screamed the gamblin' man @ 04:53 a.m. |
| Tuesday, January 28, 2003 |
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I'm cold and I have itchy armpits. I have to work in a half hour. Gah! I'm cold and I have itchy armpits. I have to work in a half hour. Gah! I'm cold and I have itchy armpits. I have to work in a half hour. Gah! I'm cold and I have itchy armpits. I have to work in a half hour. Gah!- screamed the gamblin' man @ 04:38 p.m. |
| Tuesday, January 28, 2003 |
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Now, a This or That - woot! "Same thing, different names" 1. Kleenex or tissue? I call it Kleenex, but I know that's not appropriate because it's a brand name!2. Soda or pop (or tonic or whatever)? POP! POP! POP! 3. A sandwich on a long roll: sub or hero (or hoagie or grinder, etc)? Definately call it a sub here! 4. Glasses or spectacles? Glasses. Spectacles seem all geeky and old. 5. TV or television (or boob-tube, or telly, for our friends across the pond)? TV, always TV 6. Movie or film? Movie. Flims are things you put in your camera or educational movies. 7. Sofa or couch? Couch. Altho my grandma always calls it a davenport. 8. Stove or range? Stove 9. Remote control or clicker? Remote. No control, to long. 10. Supermarket or grocery store? We just call it the store. Everyone assumes if you're going to the store that's where you are going becuase if you weren't you'd specify. - screamed the gamblin' man @ 03:21 p.m. |
| Tuesday, January 28, 2003 |
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****WARNING, depressing entry. If you want something happy I suggest you run along to ... somewhere happier. On a side note apparently happy.com is a drugstore. *** I don't say things well in real life, so I'm just going to blog them and do with them as you wish. Firefly : I have a couple things to go off on, but mostly I wanted to tell you that you can talk to me, you know! I know that we've never been good at tackling the "serious" issues, but I do care, I'm a good listener, and I understand more than you know. Sometimes two depressed people doesn't exactly make a happy one but I've learned talking about it to people that can't relate to the problem is the worst. I know I always say I understand (because I'm just like that), but this time I really truely do. I know people just think I'm a happy little fluffball of a human but that's cuz that's all I let them see. In reality I'm a burning bubble of self-hatred. That's where we differ a bit - I don't hate the world, life, or the people in my life, I just hate me. Anything currently going wrong in my life (...just about everything right now, by the way, I feel I am directly responsible for ruining). I've been depressed almost three years now and its only gotten worse - even suicidal, at times, too. *erase,erase* ... make that suicidal a lot. I keep having these "visions" and they are getting worse --- I'm not going to get into that right now tho. I've been thinking about it and maybe I don't really relate as well as I thought I did...I'm not sure....I think we're both depressed, but maybe in different ways? I look at you and I see so much more potential in you than I will ever have. You are so good at creative artsy stuff - everything from drawing to writing to printing! I've looked at your work and just started crying because it makes me realize just how much of an utter failure I am. (So, you have to start sucking at art too so I can feel better about myself). You'll go somewhere in life - I'm just pretty much stuck. (I'm now convinced I'm a Safewayforlifer). And at least you're not fat like I am. That's something to be thankful for. And you haven't ruined your life already with a horrible credit record you've been racking up. You have a fresh start to look forward to. You're going to graduate, have school out of the way, and be able to make a future for yourself. And I guess a good thing for both of us is that we've found significant others! Things will be better when you guys can be together, too, ya know? I'm sure I could go on all day playing the I suck and you don't game, but I'm not sure if it would even do any good. I guess one draw back to talking to depressed people about your depression is they can't shut up about themselves and how much they suck. So, I apologize for that. I think depression can be a very selfish disease because you get so wrapped up in your own problems it's hard to deal with anyone elses...at least that's what I've noticed in myself. *shrug* So I apologize if I haven't been the bestest friend lately (lately meaning about the last three years). I do care, I do (I'm a carebear) and I hope you know that!!! Oh, and I also wanted to add that I hope I'm not in the category of people who don't talk to you unless they want something....cuz you know - I don't just come over to your house because you feed me and let me play video games!!! LOL! (:- screamed the gamblin' man @ 02:38 p.m. |
| Tuesday, January 28, 2003 |
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Not that I'm really complaining, but sometimes being on a roll sucks. I can't drag myself away from the puter because when I'm away I'm thinking about how I should be working on it! LOL! I'm almost done tho, which is amazing considering usually I'm up the night before working on projects. Almost meaning the main part is done however needs touching up and the little parts are close. Yeeps. In other news, this sudden creativity spurt has my mind actually working for the first time in a while. I think I've decided that my next layout is going to be...*drumroll* Trading Spaces! Woot! I have a good piccie to scan and everything. I'm all excited. I'm such a nerd.- screamed the gamblin' man @ 12:08 a.m. |
| Monday, January 27, 2003 |
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I've been working hard on a design competition entry. It's due the 1st but I'm worried that I won't have time to get it done this week so I'm trying to get it done today. I work a lot this week. Two morning shifts too which really throws me off, but you know, it's all good because I'm in desperate need of money!!! Anyways, I was getting online and got distracted by Neopets and guess what? They are coming out with pocket neopets!!! I want, I want, I want! *wahhhhhhhh* The Kougra one's pretty cute - I hope they make a moehog, elephante, poogle, or kau one tho - they are my faves!- screamed the gamblin' man @ 07:08 p.m. |
| Saturday, January 25, 2003 |
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ARGH. I'm annoyed. I know I'm no beauty queen but I still take care of myself and it's really annoying to me that my eyelashes are being freakish lately. They won't all go the same way *growels angrily* I brush them and what not but they are like spastic and half goes one way, the other half goes the other and aparently I have no say in it. My eyebrows also find it necessary to create small mohawks. Usually they are somewhat fixable tho. Argh. I have to go to work now. I just felt the need to bith about that. I'm feeling groggy, grumpy, and I slept on my left eye and can't see out of it right.That's fun!- screamed the gamblin' man @ 05:09 p.m. |
| Thursday, January 23, 2003 |
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I just painted my Poogle, fluffynoddle, Strawberry. It's very cute (and a little disturbing). I must say if there's one thing I hope never to be painted like, It's a Strawberry. Now a blueberry, we might be talking. However, blueberries would be a lot like Willy Wonka and I'm not sure I need any of that action. *ponders* I also must say, I don't think I'll find the need to religiously watch American Idol this year. It eventually got pretty old last year. However, the first episode made me happy cuz it's all the peoples trying out and it made me feel a lot better about my craphole. The one in my head, not my ass. Cuz when I sing, that's all that comes out. Crap, not ass. Cuz if ass came out of my craphole it would be called an asshole, now wouldn't it. I hope you're following me here, because I'm not.- screamed the gamblin' man @ 11:30 p.m. |
| Wednesday, January 22, 2003 |
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My ingrown toes are oozing stuff again. I think I need to call the doctor, but first I have to call the insurance people and try to get a card (again!!!). Then I need to figure out how I'm going to pay the co-pay. I just had a dream that I was at school. It was a strange school because it was a lot like a high school but it was a college and it was one I'd never seen before at that. Plus, it had a YMCA for a gym, which was interesting. Anyways, it was snowing out and the court had mandated it was too dangerous for any of us to leave so they had cops keeping us on the campus. Which was really stupid because it had only snowed like 2 inches of really wet flakes. So, I was pissed cuz I didn't want to be late to work but the mean cops wouldn't let me leave. Some girl next to me was rambling on and on about staying in the YMCA and whining about not getting to change her clothing for the last week or so. That wasn't particualrly exciting and that was the extent of the dream but I shared anyways. I can't believe I slept this entire day away. Literally. I do that when I get really depressed. I'm not going into that particular situation any farther tho. I have to go get ready for work and you don't want to hear about it anyways. I'm craving ice cream....which is great cuz it's snowing outside. Maybe I'll just go get some snow and mix it with peanut butter or mustard or something.....- screamed the gamblin' man @ 04:13 p.m. |
| Tuesday, January 21, 2003 |
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Argh. I'm like totatally freaking out. And stuff. I don't know what it is but I'm all anxious and nervous today. I can't stop fidgeting and my stomach is in knots. I don't even know why but I'm finding it annoying. In an attempt to "relax" I've decided to do a This or That Tuesday 1. Super Bowl or World Series? World Series. In my expert opinion, nose is to snot as football is to poop.2. Winter or summer? Eh, that's a thoughie. I hate the heat. With a firey passion (ironic cuz fire is hot, eh?). But the snow is a pain in the assmonkey. And it's nice to be able to play in the summer as long as it doesn't get too hot. Yet, out of my hate for the heat I'd have to go winter. 3. Look up numbers in the phone book, or call directory assistance? Phone book. I fear making phone calls so one less is always better. 4. Mashed potatoes or French fries? Mashed. I heart potatoes. Fries are ok but I could take 'em or leave 'em. 5. Hand-code your website, or use an editor (such as Front Page)? A little of both. I usually use an editor but not Front Page (are you KIDDING me?). 6. Freeway or winding country road? Winding Country Roads scare me. At least on the freeway you know you're dealing with cars. You don't know what hazards will pop up on winding country roads! 7. Star Wars or Star Trek? Star Wars. I've never been able to get into Star Trek. Truthfully, Star Wars aren't even that great in my book. (Yes, I know, BLASPHAMY). 8. Disney or Warner Brothers cartoons? On television, Warner Brothers. In movies, Disney. 9. When it feels chilly in the house: crank up the heat or put on a sweater? Put on a sweater. Heat bad. That's why I like winter. Just add something and you're good to go. Plus, hello. Power bill. 10. CBS or PBS? Um....CBS. Sure, why not. - screamed the gamblin' man @ 01:48 p.m. |
| Monday, January 20, 2003 |
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I am lame. So lame. I am in one of my "moods" today. The other day I was jammin. I couldn't stop being productive. Today, no such luck. I have a competition I really want to enter for designing some stuff (mostly cuz there's a hella reward if you win) but I feel so uninspired. I only have until the first of February so I have to get a move on....but....I'm a lame-o. On the plus side I can baa and poop out of my ear. One step at a time. Eh? - screamed the gamblin' man @ 12:51 a.m. |
| Saturday, January 18, 2003 |
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I'm such a geek. But I found this amusing. - screamed the gamblin' man @ 11:56 p.m. |
| Saturday, January 18, 2003 |
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I'm not freaking fuctioning right today. I think I used up all my productivity yesterday. I'm just sitting around going "duhhhhh....." and picking my nose. Not literally, but figuratively. If that makes sense. Don't you wish you could figuatively pick your nose? Then you could mine for figurative boogers. And make figuartive gold because is figurative land figuartive boogers are sold for figurative millions. So, that's how I just became a figurative millionaire. Unforutnately I have a design that I need done by the first of February and I have all these ideas I can't seem to implement....I need inspiration. Maybe I'll take a shower. That's where all my good ideas come to me.- screamed the gamblin' man @ 03:52 p.m. |
| Saturday, January 18, 2003 |
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I archived. You should be proud. I am excrutiatingly tired today. It's been an odd couple of days. For some reason yesterday I was running on nothing quite fine. I had one hour of sleep and only ate a potato for 24 hours and still couldn't sleep until four this morning. It was very strange. That's not normal for me. I need my sleep. I need my food. Otherwise, I collapse. I've had this weird drive lately. I think I'm so worried about money and stuff that I feel the need to keep trying to do something about it. I have this chant in my head:I don't know but it's been said The gay army gives good head. The gay army was invented on Fu's birthday. I think it was a combo of getting a "purple haze" which is a really good drink while at dinner and my sleepiness (and my obsession with gay people). Aparently they are a army where they fight by sticking things up people's asses (might have something to do with my obession with asses too). I think it would be really cool to write a movie about the gay army. (: I have problems. Can I be a gay army groupie? - screamed the gamblin' man @ 01:55 p.m. |