Tuesday, October 31, 2000 12:23 a.m.
today was so long. 8am meetings are not my thing. my team met from 8am-5:30pm straight today. no break. well--5 minute ones about 3 times. it was all information that i found interesting. i felt like i was back in college though---slouching on my chair...in the same position for 2 hours.

my new hotel stations is lacking. broken arm chair, no monitor, just a heap of plastic accessories thrown together in a plastic bag sitting on the desk. how inspiring.

halloween was pretty trippy but overall lots of fun. went to 2 parties--the first was at some friend of ben's. and the second was a party sponsored by the church of mez in some warehouse in west seattle. my pink wig glowed under the blacklight--how utterly magnificent.

i met you at b&o...and we chatted as friends do after one suffers through a sad breakup...though we were sharing each other's tears...so matter-of-factly...then we strolled along broadway...not speaking...really...not knowing what to say...no questions to ask...no reason to yell at you...confused...and we found a place of solitude...overlooking the city lights...and we wept...and held each other...then found intimacy again...and all was better again...yet we are still apart...but it's okay now.

Saturday, October 28, 2000 08:56 p.m.
i'm hangin' out over at my friend Ben's place right now as he transforms himself into Neo to go out to a halloween party. He and I went shopping all day--at North Bend and then a little at Bellevue Place. I just had this urge to just go out and shop. This happens after every breakup--the need to go out and splurge and spend lots of money on myself...only to come back home and pity myself.

It's been a really really hard week. It's hard having someone that is a constant part of your daily life suddenly not want to be there anymore. someone who knows me so well...who knows when i am happy or pissed...who's been so integral in my life in seattle. and for it to happen so immediately.

i miss you so much matthew.

Wednesday, October 25, 2000 02:21 p.m.
i'm so sad today.

Tuesday, October 24, 2000 07:17 p.m.
wow. my entries are getting further and further apart from each other. it's been one whole week since i've written anything here. but what does that matter except for all of you so curious about my mundane life?

i can't even remember last week. it flew by. i probably just worked a lot. surprise. the weekend was pretty fun--hit the 'ol fenix underground for the first time in months where this funny cover band, kryboys, was playing. sunday evening, i went to a smith recruiting event where only 2 high school students showed up. so sad--there was such a great turnout last year. anyhow, it was fun to just sit and chat with a small group of us about our lives at smith. it's odd how *any* alum from smith can just reminisce and talk for hours. i don't know if i should be scared about that. nah. i seem to also appreciate smith a lot more since i've left. i mean, look at me now--i'm involved with the club and in charge of getting together the most recent alums to have fun.

last night, a group of about twenty members of the music team went bowling over at roxbury bowl in west seattle. my team was "tania's teasers" with robert, ron, mukund and christina---and we won!!! oh yeah!! i played a ridiculously good game for me--my last game was somewhere around 168. we were the only ones in the entire alley and the staff dimmed all the lights and turned on the disco ball. [sigh] what a fun team.

what a crazy 2 days it's been. a new web dev for the music team (wahoo!!) just started and i've been trying to train her. it's overwhelming to think about how much i've learned since coming here.

Tuesday, October 17, 2000 04:35 p.m.
another crazy day at work. i can't believe that i was able to get a certain test up and running--kudos to joe wilson. he totally saved me.

Look! I'm an Internet appliance!

Monday, October 16, 2000 10:03 p.m.
god, i'm still at work. i feel like blegh. i need a break.

Monday, October 16, 2000 09:42 a.m.
what a long week---and i havent' written anything here in so long. i feel guilty about it somehow. like, y'all come here to see what i've been up to lately--and i don't write for one week and suddenly it seems like i dropped off the face of the earth.

on wednesday, we threw a birthday dinner party for betina at the melting pot---yum yum yum.

on friday, i made a very serious decision about my life here at work...i decided to leave my current team and to join another. it was kind of hard but i just needed to take that risk and do that. i've had such a tough year too and just need something refreshing. it'll be sad to leave but at the same time, i'm ready for a fresh start elsewhere. anyhow, my transition won't be for awhile--like, next year so that there's time to train a new person.

jed and i won the "dumb hikers" award yesterday. so we decided to hike mt. si...but we started off a little late and still decided to climb the full 4 miles up to the top. by the time we started descending, there was only like one hour left of daylight left; needless to say, we ended up walking at least the last 1.5 miles in almost completely darkness, led only by the light coming out of the LCD monitor of my digital camera. and it's a pretty rocky trail too...my ankles were not happy with me at all. [sigh] but all in all, it was a crazy and unique experience. never going to do that again.

finally finished reading Hannibal this last week. it was just like darren explained it to me--it's pretty good throughout most of the book, keeping the reader captivated in Harris's words..and then the last 40 pages just blow up and all hell's loose. what the hell happened?! it'll be interesting to watch the movie...now I know why jodie foster decided not to take up clarice's part again.

Monday, October 9, 2000 11:22 a.m.
what a yucky day. it was such a gorgeous weekend too. on saturday, i had lunch with jed sitting in the sun down at the waterfront eating clam strips. then we drove around to the aboretum and volunteer park. this city is beautiful.

matthew comes back today--yay!

ate brunch with katrina and had the best conversation with her. also met up with phoebe to talk about the first potluck dinner with 'junior smith grads'.

i don't know what i'm doing with my life. i'm still doing what i did when i first graduated. i've always wanted to open up my own massage/spa shop.

Tuesday, October 3, 2000 05:56 p.m.
geekcruises.com. this is a little scary. I read an article in Wired magazine last night about some guy's experience aboard the Perl Whirl cruise to Alaska with people like Larry Wall and Randall Schwartz.

boy, it's been awhile since I wrote here. the weather's starting to get colder here in seattle. i can't believe it's october already. whatever happened to the pretty fall leaves to remind me that fall was around the corner? oh yeah, i'm in washington. it's bizarre being here in this city where it's green year-round. it always looks the same---just a little colder and some rain here and there.

last weekend was fun. betina had a friend come into town that she's known for years. turns out her friend's mother knew my mom growing up in hong kong. this world is too small. we attempted a night out in kirkland, which failed. then tried to cross the bridge back to seattle and ended up getting stuck because of some random test for boat crossings. and finally, we went bowling until 3 in the morning. not a bad game for that time of night.

i'm alone in the apartment now. betina's in vancouver to recruit UBC kids like I did last week. what an interesting experience. i wasn't sure what to say when a computer science student came up to me and asked what the URL was to "my company's website".
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doh. I just tried archiving my entries for the first time cuz' they're way too long. now i've got 2 of the same entry...oh well.