Sunday, March 31, 2002
01:07 p.m.
Love is not enough. I need lust, too. I don't think that's unreasonable.
Then I get caught in the oh-so-fun downward spiral of low self esteem and depression. Is it me? Am I fat? Do I talk too much? Is my hair ugly? Is this zit just really grossing you out? Maybe I'm fat. Maybe I need to start working out, get fit, then he'll find me attractive again. And then I think, why should I even go through the effort of beautifying myself when I'm pretty sure that the end result is going to be just the same: celibacy.
I miss sex. I miss sex with him. I miss all the little intricacies and delicacies (details of which I won't get into here) involved. And I really fucking hate being horny.Saturday, March 30, 2002
08:35 p.m.
I owe you an apology I'm sorry -- Barenaked Ladies, "A"
Long day. Tomorrow has the potential to be even longer.
Yes, Mike, I do still listen to the tape you made me. :-)Friday, March 29, 2002
07:19 p.m.
Wednesday, March 27, 2002
08:56 p.m.
Yeah, this is vague. Everything, on the whole, is still under control, and certain aspects are better than I could've hoped for. Eventually, maybe I'll get the hang of thinking before speaking. ... Well, we all have to have some unattainable goal, right? :-)Monday, March 25, 2002
08:58 p.m.
Sex is natural - sex is good
Not everybody does it
But everybody should -- George Michael, "I Want Your Sex"
And my defining quote:
There's boys you can trust
And girls that you don't -- George Michael, "I Want Your Sex"
Yeah.
This past Friday was veeeeeeery interesting. I got absolutely hammered and swapped naughty stories with two of my coworkers. And I didn't even get into the really naughty ones. ;-)
I was called an "eeeevil woman" yet again... Looks like I still got it. That's always nice. <very evil grin>
I can't help it. Naughty-ness enthralls me. It's not even a desire to seduce and destroy, so to speak. I just love it. Other people's naughty-ness intrigues me. I want to know people, know what they like, know who they are, know all their dirty deeds. And I'm always perfectly willing to reciprocate. ;-)
Well! That's enough of that, I think. Y'all don't really want to hear sordid tales of my past, right?? *ahem*Tuesday, March 19, 2002
08:17 p.m.
Monday, March 18, 2002
06:39 p.m.
| You are Civilian Calvin!You don't get to travel much outside your neighborhood, but you still manage to get in plenty of trouble. When you're not acting up, you like to wax philosophical.
Take the What Calvin are You? Quiz by contessina_2000@yahoo.com! |
Sunday, March 17, 2002
08:34 a.m.
Stew and I have been getting along beautifully this week. He's been a little insane, because the GAMA Trade Show starts Monday in Las Vegas, and he was trying to get his sh*t together to catch a flight from Columbus early this morning. As is typical in my life, just as he and I are getting along, he now will be gone for a week, and I'm kind of disturbed by how much I know I'm going to miss him. You know something I realized this morning? I can't always count on him to clean the bathroom when I want him to, but I can always count on him to make me a cup of tea on Saturday mornings. Which is probably infinitely more important anyway. :-)
I ordered the Swordfish soundtrack. EXCELLENT techno. "Unafraid" is perfect for dancing to... I'm trying valiantly to get a hold of all the Jan Johnston that I can, but she's fairly elusive... but Audiogalaxy has given me some gems. :-)
I'm a member of a book club that meets every second Wednesday of the month. We just read Lynn Andrews' Medicine Woman. The book was good, but I enjoyed our discussion about it even more. There were only four of us, so we ditched Barnes & Noble and went to an Irish pub instead. Kind of surprisingly, the four of us who attended had some very good conversation, ranging from actual discussion about the book, to Shamanism, to feminism, to general paganism. It was thought-provoking and entertaining. And I had some wicked fish n' chips.
As time passes, I realize that all my friends from college are scattered completely across the US. Scott just moved to California, LN is in MN, Christian is in Florida, Travis is in Virginia, Marc is in Wisconsin, John & Mindy are in St. Louis, and some few remain in Louisville. In any case, I have lots of places to visit if I get bored with Cincinnati.
Last night was the only bad point in the week, and that was mostly my fault anyway. I went over to Gina's house, and we had Dewey's Pizza and a jug o' Bass, and we watched Moulin Rouge and Bridget Jones's Diary. I love Bridget, I've watched that movie several times now, and Colin Firth just gets cuter every time. :-) I adored Moulin Rouge. It had just enough of the touch of the absurd to keep things entertaining, but just enough realism in the characters to make you relate. Basically, it was a fairy tale, with a small twist. It was sad, but it was beautiful, and like everyone else, I was astounded at the singing voices of Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor. 'Course, Ewan could sing like a dying crow, and I'd take him home with me anyway. *ahem* The only bad part of the evening was after I sobered up, I wound up with a skull-splitting headache... we're talking I-wanted-to-throw-up-it-hurt-so-bad headache. G's beau drove me home, and I had just enough focus left to lock the door, climb upstairs, and collapse into bed. I was in agony. This morning I felt much better, except for a mild caffeine-withdrawal headache. *sigh* I'm sick of my head hurting now.
Going to mom's today for food... a very belated birthday meal. Mmmmm... home-cooked food. Of course, today I need to do work, too. Bah!Thursday, March 14, 2002
09:19 p.m.
Saturday, March 9, 2002
02:17 p.m.
Yeah. I'm stunned. I'm so glad I left Louisville on good terms with him. I'm glad he's happy. I never thought I'd say that, but there it is. Funny how, given enough time, all things change.Wednesday, March 6, 2002
09:10 p.m.
Tuesday, March 5, 2002
08:13 p.m.
Monday, March 4, 2002
07:58 p.m.
Sunday, March 3, 2002
07:47 p.m.
Sunday, March 3, 2002
10:57 a.m.
Friday, March 1, 2002
08:41 p.m.
Take the What
animal best portrays your sexual appetite?? Quiz
One wonders if mine fits me as well as Caleb's fit him. ;-) (He's a gazelle. It fits. Trust me.)Wednesday, February 27, 2002
04:22 p.m.
In a selfish way, that makes me very very nervous. I've posted before where I work. I don't think I've posted anything mean about coworkers, or the job, or anything related, but I have posted general stuff about coworkers, and the job, etc. Hmmm.Wednesday, February 27, 2002
04:18 p.m.
Of course, it's possible that the Sudafed that my boy bought for me may have helped, too. Anyone who's been keeping up on my various blogs/sites throughout the years should know by now that I absolutely *swear* by Sudafed if I'm sick. It's the only drug I've ever found that can actually make me feel like a human being again.
Ugh, I hope this clears up by tomorrow. I have work to do. I hate calling in sick. It was absolutely necessary, but I still hate doing it.Sunday, February 24, 2002
01:04 a.m.
I give up on boys. What's the fucking point? Friday, February 22, 2002
07:33 a.m.
Wednesday, February 20, 2002
06:24 p.m.
Yeah.
I also saw, on my walk, one of the most bizzare things I've ever seen. As I headed towards the trail in the back, it was completely quiet, except for the occasional sounds of cars going by. As I came back from the trail, the winter-bare trees were filled with birds. The birdsong was melodic, in a chaotic sort of way, and almost deafening. I walked beneath the trees for a bit, listening to them all, and suddenly, they all flew up and away. Every single one. It was as if there was some pre-arranged signal, or maybe I walked across a hidden trigger. Maybe they were all on their way to a convention somewhere and they were just taking a five-minute break. The silence that fell after they were gone was almost as deafening as the birdsong had been.
My birthday is on Friday. I'll be 25. Whee. (Miz_A should calm down. She sounds far too excited.) I'm a whore tramp. Wednesday, February 20, 2002
01:03 p.m.
Miz_A was quite the little tramp in her day!
Traaaaamp. :-)Tuesday, February 19, 2002
10:45 p.m.
Usually I try to make an effort to not drive when I'm seriously ticked off, but other times, like today, it was unavoidable. And in a sick sort of way, therapeutic. Probably not very wise, as taking out one's aggression and anger on the road is just a wee bit dangerous, but since I made it home alive, I'll say it was therapeutic. In any case, I no longer wanted to physically beat something when I got back.
My god, I've got a poor temper sometimes.Monday, February 18, 2002
12:03 a.m.
There's been lots going on, but I'm too lazy to blog about it. I'll get back with y'all later. :-)
|
