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Fishy
What Finding Nemo Character are You?
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Nemesis
?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
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Blistered Hope
Never build your future around anyone else but yourself. Never focus your life on to any man. For all he has to do is leave and your life will crumble.
A principle I once held strongly. Something I now no longer keep.
It’s foolish, it’s risky. Trust is now the most essential role to keep it all together. Trust is something hard to gain and to share.
So will it all fall apart?
Just try your best and keep on trying? Is that enough? Will it ever be enough until you BELIEVE? Believe that it will work. Somehow.
It feels like everything has already collapsed. Because it shows in your eyes. It whispers to the heart. This is the truth and I fear it.
Still,
If it is bound to fail, I will not spare even a second of this present moment
Hypertension
i feel so hyper
something’s bothering me and I don’t know what!!!!!
I hate this!!!! I’ve got so much of work yet I feel like doing nothing!
Must be the drugs I’m taking. MUAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!
Things aren’t so great right now…….
My man and I are now…not like we used to be. There’re so much of tension, negative energy around us all the time. It’s hard . It’s hard trying to make someone happy but you just seem to make everything worse. Nothing is right. I feel like tearing my hair out!!!
Honestly, this must be PMS!
Honestly, I miss him, but I just don’t want to see him. Seeing someone so angry and gloomy everyday can be very depressing. Especially when it’s someone you love. Shit, I feel like I’m in mama’s shoes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so pissed off I feel like sneezing!
I just got here but I need to get out of this place! ARRRGGHHH!!!!
Many weird things have happened lately. Just today I met a guy at a hotel where I had lunch with my family and a couple of friends. I was walking around the lobby with my niece when suddenly this guy came up to me and tried to start off a conversation. Funny, though he looked like a handsome, decent young man, I tried to shut him off as fast as I could. I looked around, trying to see if I could find my father anywhere. Almost so cowardly, my heart was wailing for help. All I could think of was he must be a pervert! A child sex offender!!!!! I must get my niece away!!!!!
It was horrible! My heart was thumping away and I think he sensed a twitch of my fear.
He then asked if I were boogis or Javanese. The word RACIST screamed through my ears and almost through my tongue. I merely answered him abruptly and sped off with my niece.
*Sigh. This doesn’t normally happen. Talk about low self-esteem.
muahahahah
Barbie Got Back! Go you! You're the closest thing
ever to a true black Barbie. Shake that fat
ass of yours.
If You Were A Barbie, Which Messed Up Version Would You Be?
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Everyone remembers the 'faked-orgasm-in-a-deli'
sequence from your kind of movie When Harry Met
Sally. It seems that you're falling for a buddy
or have already fallen for them. Uh-oh. You're
probably caught between the possibility of
having a great relationship and wrecking the
one you have now. You know what they say, it's
better to regret something you did than
something you didn't do.
What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
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Idiot's Wonder
Wonder wonder wonder. Do far distance relationships really work? Especially when the couple seldom corresponds to each other?
*Sigh
yes, been doing lots of sighing these days. The day seems longer when you have nothing to do. Or atleast, you just don’t feel like doing anything.
Isn’t it depressing how you wait so long for something or someone, yet you seem to be going no where, getting nothing, and you keep on waiting? I’m not grumbling or anything, but I hate waiting. I don’t have the patience. I think I’ll just give up
Psychoanalysis:
You being an optimist have a pessimistic friend who does nothing but pours out all his/her pessimism all day long. Are you inclined to be a pessimist soon?
If you are, does that mean you have a weak esteem.
Or, if you consider the case as the other way round, does it mean your esteem is really strong?
Urgh, blabber blabber blabber BLABBER!
I need to get out. I feel trapped and I’m not doing anything to escape. I wanna fly far far away where no one could bother me. Someplace to start a new beginning. To do what I really want to do. Someplace where I’d finally meet that special creature and everything would be alright. Does that place really exist? Maybe heaven?
Rambling esteem:
Do not give up. Hold on for a long as you can. Work hard, think straight. One day. Someday .
Weird
Yesterday:
I felt bad the whole day, I knew that something’s bound to happen. Then, my honey called me at 10:15 pm to inform me of his flight at 10:50 pm. I thought he was kidding, but he wasn’t. I held back my tears and wished him safe journey. The call was less than 10 minutes.
15 minutes later I called back to make sure he wasn’t kidding, though I wished he was. I was lucky enough to get him right before his flight.
My stomach began to churn as I choked in my grief as best I could. He assured me that everything would be all right. I desperately want to believe him. He left.
I started crying, and sister told me not to be so mellow dramatic. Perhaps he went on an urgent business. I think I am being too dramatic about things. I shouldn’t be. No one should
But the feeling is still there. It has returned, just like when the last time he left. My worries are haunting me again. If only I had trusted him wholly, I wouldn’t feel this way. I cannot get rid of it, too many things have happened in too short a time. I am overwhelmed.
I hope everything would be alright just as he said it would. I pray, Insyallah it will
I went to the dentist today. He spoke with a weird Arabic accent. All of a sudden he starts telling me to let the past go. You cannot change what has happened. It’s like a page of your life, which you cannot tear off. All you must do now is live. As if he knew what I have been through. As if he knew what I’ve done. Boy, did I look THAT worried?
Life’s like honey,
Sweet and sticky,
Bears eat it, bees make it,
And man process it.
Word of advise : Do not watch too much porn. It could kill you.
sick little puppy
woke up this morn with a fever. couldn't make it to the korean lunch and pool. damn
i feel so weak. my little niece is constipated. poor little thing. but, for some reason that little wrench has developed a habbit for slapping me. i feel like grabbing her by the ankle and swinging her off into the gutters. i think a love-hate relationship is beginning to progress :).
tech com presentation. think of a topic. i'm in deep shit.
i feel horrible. slept the whole morning, then the whole afternoon. i'm still sleepy. want to go shopping!
:)
i love you, mama. i'm sorry for everything i've done. i know you won't approve. i cannot explain my actions. i never meant to hurt you.
i'm sorry, papa. i've betrayed you. i do not belong under your wing anymore. i have no right to be here. i must go.i must leave but i cannot find my way. i pray one day you might forgive me.
Busy busy busy
ARRRGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! assignments, quizes, tests, lab reports yadda yadda yadda! all in one week!!! hellpppp!!!! i need help!!! what are these people trying to do to me????
i am not a studying robot!!!!! i am human!!!! i have a life!!!!! i need to get out!!!!
hrmmm... terminator 3 is out. i wanna go watch!!!!!!!! i'm feeling horny. i want to have sex. };D. *sigh
gothic
The Withered Lover
What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
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Just feelings
*sigh. Missing someone. I find it pretty amusing how someone could mean so much, yet you could never do enough to express yourself.
Funny, for most of the men in my life, when we had to part, the whole scenario was always almost the same;
Week one: miss them terribly
Week two: feeling dies down a little. Find other lights of life more
interesting.
Week three: Life goes on. You don’t need them
Week four: You don’t like them, you don’t want them. I’m sorry to be so
harsh on you man, it was fun while it lasted, now stay away
from me.
Then, suddenly one person decides to pop outside your doorstep and he practically changes everything for you. The scenario crumbles, your heart shaken and you have no control whatsoever over yourself, over him, over the relationship.
You’re like a helpless puppy leashed by a complete stranger whom you now know as ‘Master’. You are gullible and you are bound to fall off into the depths of nothing, yet, when he looks into your eyes, you feel a complete sense of security.
Though you are still and silent, you can feel your heart screaming and twisting for this one man, your very own salvation. Then you realize, this is the end. He has come to claim you as you dare give up your sanity.
This is turning into a romance novel. For those already suffering from nausea, kindly choke in that vomit.
Nevertheless, I love my honey. I miss him. This has to be the truth. It cannot be a lie. I’m so afraid that all of my past sins would gather up and bite me on this one. Burn everything. Take it all away from me, but not him.
My Poor CAT!
Came home from uni. Sis told me about daddy’s encounter with my cat
It was raining one day and the cable went out. Dad had nothing to do and was bored to his wits until he suddenly came up with an idea
Dad: it’s raining. Shall I bath the cat?
Sis: (sarcastic) yeah sure. We might as well do it in the rain. We’ll save water. (sister prances off to her room)
Suddenly the sound of a screaming cat echoes through the back yard. Sis runs out and finds my poor baby pooey cat trapped in a cage and under the rain! Dad was trying to push it more into the rain with his slipper.
Sis: (stunned) errr…..i was just kidding.
Dad: the little vermin was too filthy. He needed a bath.
Sis: oooookay ( backs off )
Sister could do nothing but look at my poor baby cringe and moan. Or atleast I don’t think she wanted too. Wouldn’t be surprised if she even had fun watching.
After a couple of minutes.
Dad: Do you have a hair drier? The cat looks cold.
Sis: my hair drier is too small for it! Why’d you have to go bath it in the rain?!
Dad: Nevermind then.
Again, a few minutes went by. Suddenly, sis hears the vacuum cleaner!
Dad was using the vacuum exhaust to dry the my cat!!!!
Sis runs to mom.
Mom: your father is torturing that cat!!!!!!!
:,( sniff!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAAH~!!!
I am a giant mutant kitten. Not strange at all.
Which cute or possibly strange kitten are you?
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In depth emptiness
Tv is loud downstairs. Mom’s trying to figure out a game show puzzle.
It feels hot even though the sun has set. Tummy’s aching yet I don’t want to go to the toilet. Constipation is my game.
It’s a bad hair day. Looks like a pumpkin.
Cooked this morn. Made chicken meatballs. Sister made pasta, salad, and garlic bread. They were delicious as usual. Sister inherited the hand for cooking, I inherited the hand for burning.
Tried to make banana-fritter-balls. It tasted fine except that it was soggy unlike mama’s usual plump and fluffy ones. Face it. Can’t cook. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!! Still trying.
Friend sent me a mail a few days ago. It read, ‘the way to a life of bliss is not to compare, for there will always be someone out there better than you.’ What a load of crap. You can be as good as you want to be for only God is better than you. Don’t let competition get to your head though.
Watched so many movies. ‘Gangs of New York’ is a FLOP! Do NOT WATCH IT!
tehee. only my honey would know better
Pervert
What's your sexual appeal?
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Run Horsy Run!
My brother’s neighbor’s wife has just started horse riding.
“She must’ve lost her virginity a million times!”, daddy commented. I didn’t get it though…until today..
first I rode a pony. It wasn’t that bad, comfortable I must say. Then my sister in law urged me to try the bigger horse. Just trying to get on the saddle was a challenge. After that, it was all about following the rhythm. Move as the horse moves, go with the flow, back and forth, up and down, as if you’re dancing on air. Yes, it was wonderful. No wonder A LOT of women Luurrvveee horse riding. Now I am proud to say I mounted myself a mare.
Well, a mare and a stallion actually. Teeheee.
also saw a horse pissing. funny, it was grunting and pissing altogether. as if to exclaim its content. man, i must say, that's the hugest d*ck i've ever seen!
Note: do not wear any sort of feminine perfumes if you’re trying to ride a mare. The little thing might get jealous. Or so I was told. imagine having A hoof on your face. urghhh........
CAGED
WARNING! this entry is boring and was written in a state of an emotional outburst
Mama has banned me from going out. No more movies, no more mamak stalls, no more shopping complexes, no nothing. This is all due to the S.A.R.S. Funny, though she’s fine bringing me out wherever and whenever she pleases. I feel caged. I’m 18 and I’m not even allowed to go jogging outside at the park.
I don’t understand. This isn’t fair. For some reason my parents seem to be more liberal with my sister. She has a midnight curfew. Mine used to be 7pm, but now it’s NEVER! No more going out, so, I don’t need a curfew! BAH!
Sis thinks it’s because of my heart. YEAH RITE! I’m fine and healthy! After all this time, NOTHING HAS HAPPENED! There is nothing to be worried about. I know how to take care of myself and I’m not stupid.
When I was nine I was hospitalized for having ‘suspected’ rheumatic heart fever. After keeping me there for a couple of weeks the doctors finally let me go and said I was fine. A couple of months later, I was re-admitted for another ‘suspected’ deadly sickness. Again the doctors were mistaken.
Years later, those geniuses discovered that I had developed a heart murmur. After that, my parents strictly prohibited me from taking part in any sports especially taek-won-do. The only thing I could take part in was the choir and the chess club. I felt so pathetic. Soon, I was known as the cacat girl Urgh, fuck it. I don’t like writing about this.
Suddenly, I’ve realised that I’ve been using a lot of ‘I’s lately. SEE!!! "I" this, "I" that!!!This is so self-centered!!!!!!!! ME ME ME ME ME ME. The world only consists of ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UUUUUUUUURRRGGGHHH!! ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thousands of people are dying!!!!!! Thousands of people are starving!!! Thousands of people are suffering!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck am I sitting here for!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK IT ALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dress code
Went over to my brother’s yesterday. Ate so much then went swimming at the beach. Sister tried to drag me into the deeper end. I got freaked out and tried kicking myself free from her but she ended up pulling me in by the leg.
Little helpless me could only scream and squirm. She can be so evil at times.
Atleast we managed to bury my niece in moldy sand. She looked kind of cute except that a rider with his horse walking along the beach nearly trampled her. Now that was scary. My mom asked my dad to run down the rider and his horse down with the car. That would’ve been fun to watch.
I got buried in the sand as well. My brother even gave me a mud bath by smoldering mud all over my head! Paka! Dad said it’s healthy for my scalp.
Yeah rite.
I woke up with a loud bang against my door this morning. It was mama shouting at me to get up. *Sigh. A simple ‘good morning, honey! It’s time to wake up’ would’ve been highly appreciated.
Sister dragged me to the national art gallery.
Sis : Are you ready?
Me : Nearly. ( still puffing powder on my face )
Sis : What are you wearing?! We’re going to a formal place!
I was wearing overalls with a brown skimpy half top.
Me: Really? Ah, don’t worry! I’ve been there wearing this before. They still
let me in.
Sis: Nevermind then. You can stay in the car. I won’t be long.
Got to the gallery. I decided to tag along in anyway. To my surprise, the place was really formal.
Me: oh, it’s this one! I’ve never been here before.
Sis: What?!
Me: I’ve been to the other building. That one over there! ( points to the building opposite the road)
A woman dressed quite elegantly and very much formally passed us by.
Sis: you see! Look at that woman! Look at how she’s dressed! Now look at
Yourself!
.I looked down at my old smelly sports shoes.
Me: don’t worry, they’ll let me in. and if they don’t, I’ll just wait outside.
Sis: just wait and see. One day, when you have to meet someone really important I’ll dress up like a market woman!
I gave her a smug grin. the guards let me in!
The gallery was big and really nice though. We got lost looking for that ‘important person’ my sister had to meet. However, when we finally found his office his assistant greeted us.
As we entered the office, the assistant looked at my sister then turned to me, eyeing me from head to toe. I wonder what he was thinking. He could’ve been
a) a pervert
b) not approving of me altogether.
Most probably it was b because that ‘important person’ didn’t want to see my sister.
Sister of course blamed me as well.
Sis: perhaps he didn’t wanna see me because of the way you were dressed
Me: I have no business with him
Sis: look at what you’re wearing! I can see your belly!
Me: (looks down at myself) not only that, I can see a little bit of underwear too!
Ah, life’s a bitch, isn’t it?
You are The Celestial Goddess. You rule over the
Heavens and have a fim grip on space and the
universe. Your keen intellect makes you a
person to take time to stare at the stars -
just to see what they look like.
What Goddess Of Beauty Are You?
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Searching for home
Ah, it’s been 3 weeks since the semester started and three whole weeks of honey lovin’. ;)
Popped my mid sem test too! Oh, goody-goody! Serves me right for fooling around too much. Funny, though, every time there is an exam, I feel like staying home. And also, I’m glad to be home now. Too bad I’m only staying for a night.
I lied to my parents. I feel a little bit guilty.
I met a racist the other day. He started giving me a lecture on how I should only date men of ‘the same kind’ because men of ‘the other kind’ would only fuck me then dump me. I don’t get it. Aren’t there always men like that no matter what race they are? (NOTE: THE RACIST REFERRED TO MY HONEY AS THE OTHER KIND) How dare he judge us and intrude into our personal affairs. What right has he to tell me whom I should see and with whom I should mix with. He doesn’t even know what race I am!
Talking about racial identity, I don’t believe in it. If I did, I would be denying my own existence. I don’t understand how people could be so narrow even with all that supposed ‘wisdom’ they’ve earned with the grace of age. Crap!
My sister was quite odd today. Then again, she gets stranger by day. We were at the supermarket where we stumbled upon a treasure of condoms,
Sis : look at that. (pointing to the ‘treasure’)
Me : Condoms?
Sis : don’t you wanna buy a box ? ( lips curl like a cat )
Me : what for?? Who’s gonna use it??
Sister winks and grins like a horny devil.
Me : Oh, C’MON!!
Sister laughs and whispers into my ears
Sis : women give sex for love, men give love for sex.
Hrrmmm…. Come to think of it…….
Bitter Sweet Crazy
This is an old entry which i had meant to paste a very long time ago
My honey’s back! I can’t describe how relieved I am. The semester is going to start within two days as well! So, it’ll be back to grinding the books and digging the brains. Finally something useful to do. It’s not that I can’t find anything better to take up my time, it’s just that I’m too lazy when I’m at home. Plus, my movements around the house are constantly guarded and I’m not allowed to do what I really want to. I must say, this is so depressing.
I hate home! I hate home! It’s not even a home! It’s a cage! I feel like I’m suffocating here! No matter how you clean it, it always looks messy! Daddy just loves flicking his cigarette ashes everywhere, all around the floor!!!! Argh!!!!! The house always smells like cigarette smoke!!!
Also, due to the intense smoking, mama and I’ve developed sinus. So, whenever I come home I get sick! The headaches, bad breath, and constant drool of phlegm knock in and knock out! I’m just so GLAD the semester’s gonna start soon!
gee, what a coincidence
Goddess of the Moon. Beauty, yet a sadness lurks
about you at times. But hey, pain is beauty,
right?
MUAHAHAHAHAHA i'm back at UNI!
Brown Eyes
What Color Eyes Should You Have?
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He was a skater boy!
Ah, the semester is gonna start soon! Yippeyaiiyaaayy!!!! I hate staying at home. I feel like a ..do I dare say it??? SLOTH. Yes, it’s the S word. Used and made popular by good old daddykins.
Is is sleeping over tonight. She’s a real hot sexy gucci mommah. Anyone interested? If you are then you may gladly SOD OFF!!! SHE’S MINE!!! MAUAHAHAHAHAH! Rest assured I’m not a lesbian. Atleast I don’t think so. Not yet.
Proof of fact, Is and I went to the park today. I was so amused at how changed it was! Yes, I have not been there for ages even though it’s less than two minutes walk from home. Anyway, I like it a lot now that it has a skating ring for SKATER BOYS, you know what I mean? Is and I stood there, watching as they showed off their stunts. I even spotted a cutie! I guess he’s mixed breed of Caucasian and Chinese. Not as gorgeous as my honey of course but a cutie nevertheless. I think I’ll be visiting the park more often now. *smile.
One thing I’ve noticed about these skater boys/girls, why do they always like to show off their boxer shorts and really dirty baggy pants? Is it groovy or sloppy?
Sis is busy watching porn. I can hear the moans and screams from outside. I wonder what people get out of it. Is it just to get horny or does it really satisfy them physically and mentally?
The heroine or what’s her name dies in daredevil. Finally something intriguing in an all American fiction. Don’t you just love sad endings? I suppose that’s why I prefer oriental novels.
I feel like bitching
My honey’s online!! Got to go now!!
Boring me softly
Why must parents always force their children to do what THEY WANT?! IT IS NOT FAIR! IT IS JUST SO BORING!
Fun, fun, fun!
I was out with A and R yesterday. I must say, that I really did miss them. The holidays are lasting too long now.
The other night, my sis, her boyfriend, A and I went out to watch Just Married. It wasn’t bad really but it made me miss my honey even more! Then, my sis had a fight with her boyfriend so, yadda yadda yadda, it was a very nice show and we ended up heading for dinner without the boyfriend. Of course, all the way there A and I had to bear my sister’s ranting over how horrible men can be, with of course, A agreeing and supporting her every point.
Then, while dinner, there I was trying to enjoy my meal, sister still went on arguing with her hubby on the phone until A started having problems with her, er… ‘brother’. So, there they were, fighting with their spouses on the phone while I was busy, concentrating on my food, trying to take my mind off the MAN WHO I MISS AND LOVE SO MUCH AND IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!! *runs around in a moment of madness! *pant pant! On top of that, both my ears were ringing on each side listening to each of their complaints AT THE SAME TIME!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS?! *tears hair off! *sigh, these people should realize how lucky they are. Atleast they have their darlings around with them, meaning in the same country, safe and not effected by any WAR!!!!!
This is unbearable. All I can do now is hold back my tears and hope for the best. Yes, we must always think positively!!! My honey will come back, Insyallah! I didn’t know it would be this hard. I feel so empty! But, as my honey tells me, we must be strong!! YES!!!!! We will be strong for we are THE CHILDREN OF THE MILLENIUM! BE STRONG EVERYBODY!!! DO NOT GIVE UP!! Now why do I feel pathetically psychotic all of a sudden?
MUAHAHAHAHAHAH
Arrgghhh!!!!!! can't get enough of these quizes!
You are a true nature girl!
Which Ultimate Beautiful Woman are You?
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voyeur
What's YOUR sexual fetish?
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You're the loving smile,the one that is entirely
devoted to others,especially that one
person.You really can't get them out of your
head,but then,you don't really want to.
What Kind of Smile are You?
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Hrmmm....
Psycho. You are overwhelmed by anger. You may even
hate the world and everything in it and you
believe revenge is the way of the world. An eye
for an eye.
How Emotional Are You?
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Another day at the dresser's
Getting a simple haircut is expensive. The worst happens when the hairdresser smiles in a certain way and says she’ll give you the ‘best hair cut ever’! Then she snips away all that lovely strands of hair you’ve been keeping for months or even years while not even looking! Worry worry
I got a hair cut the other day, and I must say that I HATE IT! It’s as if the top upper half of my head is bulging out like a mirange and the lower half is so thin and pointy! I look like a broccoli. I feel like cutting the whole damn thing off! But, had enough of the scissors. It’ll grow back anyway.
Anyway, the girl who washed my hair was so rough! Her fingers raked through my scalp as if she hated my guts and wanted to pull my hair out! Nevertheless, she was firm and sturdy that her fingers caused me no pain. At least not enough pain for me to shriek and dig her eye balls out with my finger nails. Then, as she blow-dried my hair, a blue shirt Chinese man came along to lend a helping hand. At first I didn’t find him attractive at all. He was tall, lanky with a clean ‘goody’ look. Another simple bloke I must say.
Amazingly enough, his touch was much gentle than hers. His hands were so careful as to not cause me the slightest pain. I found it rather sensual and even pleasing. I usually dislike men other than my ‘honey’ touching me. Surprisingly enough, I didn’t mind this guy at all. Perhaps I was just horny or something because I saw him in a whole different light. He suddenly looked really sexy in a cat like motion. It crossed my mind that this guy must be really good in bed
Snort.
Abruptly, as his fingers smoothly stroked my hair, I thought of my honey . I thought of his every embrace. How gentle he was, how sweet. Suddenly, I felt depressed. I missed him!
Sleepless Night
I can’t sleep. My eyes are heavy but I can’t keep them shut. What am I to do? I heard a weird noise downstairs. I don’t know what it is. I hope it’s only a big insect hitting itself on something. Or perhaps I’m just hallucinating.
I don’t like the dolls in my room. It’s as though they’re staring at me. I’m phobic that they might jump on me if I fall asleep.
My sister found one of my old poems. Though it may sound really corny, this is how it goes,
There was once was a girl,
Her name was Swan,
Though her name was meant to embrace brightness,
She was very silly indeed,
Even as a child,
She was called stupid,
And as she grew up,
She was discriminated, criticized,
STUPID BASTARD
STUPID BASTARD
Her father called her so,
She deserved it,
She could do nothing right,
Until one day,
Someone told her she was smart,
She believed so,
But she was wrong,
She’s stupid!
She’s a looser!
Her father said so,
So, Swan hated her father,
She wished he were dead,
She wanted him to suffer,
She wanted his respect.
Then, one day,
She met a boy,
He respected her,
He wanted to be with her,
He believed in her,
He said she was beautiful,
He believed her good,
How wrong was he,
So, she let him go,
She let herself suffer,
For she was ugly,
She was filthy,
She was arrogant,
She was weak,
Her father believed so,
She lacked her father’s respect.
Little swan could not trust her father,
Little swan could not trust the boy,
Little swan could not trust herself.
Because she was a born looser,
However,
She was a looser with dreams.
It’s a stupid poem. I think I wrote it while I was in a state of depression and insomnia. My sister just laughed at it. To rewrite it again, I’m laughing myself. Well, actually no, I’m not.
Ah, I spoilt myself with ice-cream. Bubble gummy flavored ice-cream with hot butterscotch! It was almost heavenly!
I tried to look for porn tonight. I ended up driving all around ss2 just to find it. But, as fate has deemed so, my efforts were to no avail. So, I settled for the good old papa’s porn. I know this may sound disgusting, but I just needed to get horny tonight. I’m suppressed.
Memories
As a little girl, I remember clutching a green coloured fence as I watched my siblings and friends play in the lake. Oh, how much I wanted to join them but alas, I was too little and too shy!
I once saw a tiny wineglass and thought that it was pretty. So my little fingers reached out and held it with much care. As I stared in awe at the glittering yellow liquid inside it, I wanted to know what it tasted like, so I did…..
The first day of school, a little chinese boy asked to borrow my color pencils. I lent them to him and he smiled. The next day, he asked to borrow them again but this time I didn't let him. He didn't befriend me after that.
ReVeaLing tHe CoRpSe
Honestly, I don’t know why the fuck I’m writing this rubbish. Perhaps it’s just the influence of my friends. I read their life stories from their blogs and now I’m inspired to write my own. The only thing is that I don’t have the balls to let known who i really am. Perhaps I’m not ready.
So why am I writing this anyway? Perhaps it’s just a cry for help? Perhaps I need to unleash the demons that haunt me at night, keeping me from slumber? Perhaps…… perhAPS i'm just bored.
But, I am sure to tell the truth and nothing but the truth. *snicker. Ah yes, the truth, my thoughts, my feelings, my life. Let it all be known here. Let me seek refuge and find peace. Insyallah
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