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oh christmas spirit. Sunday, December 12, 2004 / 07:04 p.m. i've honestly tried to not mind you. its' christmas, try not being so bitter, najin. right. i've always found you annoying, but never figured that it would get to me. i don't even hate anyone. till now, that is. i really can't stand you. gawd, you have no idea how annoying you are. you are a blithering idiot, you're obnoxious at all the wrong times, and you piss me off. you are baudy and rude, ignorant and irritating, i know i should pity you in some way because you were born the way you were, but i would just like to remind you that you're hideous as well. go fall off a cliff. ugh. people these days. HAHAHA merry christmas, yewanimal. okay. nuff of the bitterness. anyway so shopped yesterday noon, doot doot, driving driving, then i freeze. i swear it was you.. i swear i saw you.... even if it wasn't you, it was enough to remind me of you and that cursed familiar knot at the pit of my stomach. =( why did it have such a horrifying effect on me? go away... i had things so perfectly figured out. why did i have to see you....? .feedback. ____________________________________________________ BLAH. Saturday, December 11, 2004 / 09:40 p.m. made three of the best shirts today:    got the ideas for the first two ones from sites. forget which ones. props to them though. *thumbs up*. :D i'm i'm sick of you i want i want something new. i want something that makes me go WOW! i want something exciting. something interesting. this is blah. .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Friday, December 10, 2004 / 10:57 p.m.  webcamming with shen. omg. i screenshotted like 20938409284 times. his puppies are fauking cuteeeeeeeee and they go crazy when he sings the fruit basket song :D:D:D:D:D *dies .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Friday, December 10, 2004 / 10:18 a.m. hahahahha 
.feedback. ____________________________________________________ time killer. Friday, December 10, 2004 / 08:55 a.m. yes it's 8:55 am. 1. do you get jealous easily? hah. hell no. 2. what have u been doing these past few days? in my room. i'm a loser. *pushes glasses up* 3. last movie u watched ? i seriously can't remember. i think one flew over the cuckoo's nest. haha wwhat a crap movie. 4. what are u gonna do after this? go see my little boy 5. seriously in-love before? yes m'ame. 7. what are u planning to do this weekend? study some. play some. 8. do u club? =( not old enough bob. not rich enough to buy falsies. 9. do u smoke? nah. 10. any people in-love with u right now? haha aren't we all -.- 11. do u prefer sms or talking on the phone? phone 12. are u missing someone right now? indeed. 13. what are u doing right now? uh. jee. i don't know 14. when was the last time u recieved an sms? last week? i didn't reply cuz i realised i've been doing it too much. it's expensive! 16. name ur good friends. no. 17. who do u want to kiss right now? no one. 0.o do i have to want to kiss someone righ tnow? 18. one person u want to spend the rest of ur life? . me. 19. what were u doing before this? sleeping 21.what did you do last night? slept 22.what did you last say to a friend last night? i'm lonely. 23.what attracts you to the opposite sex? looks, humor, money haha, morale, faith, intellect, bla bla bla bla 24.what makes you happy? fellow short people...oompa loompas to be exact, rainbows, sunshine, lollipops, alsdjflasjfalsjfla. 25.what are you wearing now? HAHAHAHAH want to hear how disgustingly unmatching i am righ tnow? this is what i slept in. *literally first things i found off the ground* red sweatpants, baby blue zip up hoodie, really baggy gray t shirt. mmmmmmmmmmmm. 26.who was the last person you talked to? fran 27.what do you want to tell someone but you haven't? i miss you 28.when is your birthday? feb 18. 29.when is your crush's birthday? crush. eh. 30.when did you last smile? yesterday 31.why did you answer this? i'm bored. 32.when will you marry? i don't know 33.When did u last receive a gift? gift?! i wis.h. 34.when did you last drink alcoholic beverages? uh don't even rememeber 35. what time is it now? 9:07 pm .feedback. ____________________________________________________ grad. Thursday, December 9, 2004 / 06:18 p.m. grad pictures were today. unnie did my hair so nicely that i didn't want to take it out and i was forced to take jillions of webcam pictures. forced. yes. i'm so sad and lonely =( i want someone to take me out tonight, i feel all wastefully dressy. =( 
.feedback. ____________________________________________________ Monday, December 6, 2004 / 09:01 p.m. 9-10 study. 10-11 edit, finish essay and critique. 11 onward-rest .feedback. ____________________________________________________ threads. Saturday, December 4, 2004 / 09:30 PM unnie bought me the prettist fornarina jacket today =D *drool* wanted it for so long so happy :D note to self. when i get my bike, i must custom make a shirt that says on the back: "can you read this?? my passenger fell off." haha. jebus speaking of clothes...damn you drjays.com! HAHaha i want these: track suit denim jacket set varsity jacket set sweater underwear i want this one especially:    times like this...i wish i were rich and could buy all these. or....wish there were rich person obsessed with buying me things. HARharharhar .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Saturday, December 4, 2004 / 12:19 a.m. YAY!!! dot.tk got the traffic check back, so now i can see how many visitors i get and from what countries =D. i'll post it up at the end of every month. hardy har har this excites me: TOP 10 COUNTRY LIST NOVEMBER, 2004 Nr Country Unique hosts 1 Canada 203 2 U.S.A. 143 3 Unknown 15 4 Australia 6 5 France 6 6 Sweden 3 7 Netherlands 2 8 Germany 1 9 South Korea 1 TOTAL VISITORS IN THIS PERIOD: 380 :D sweden?? France?? Netherlands?!?!? excellent! .feedback. ____________________________________________________ ZzzTT!! Friday, December 3, 2004 / 10:41 p.m. oops, my computer date was a little ahead, so's my date on myy last blog was wrong. roll it back a day. anyway. a lot on my mind. this has truly proven itself to have been the most diverse school year i've ever had. wierd, i'd figure i'd experience all my changes when i got into uni....or even when i transferred schools from grade 10 to 11. but noooo, my senior year is being tossed up, is tumbling down and repeating itself faster than i can blink. marks. up and down. relationships. up and down. family. up and down. ugh. today did not help. i've been in such a stuper lately that i'd figure things would start bouncing up sooner or later. i figured today would be the day that things might start to look up and stay there, like they always have. but no. good. then bad. then good. i guess that's not what's life's about....just keeping things happy....keeping things the way you'd like them to be. i guess it's up to me to make the most of the crap i get, and to work hard for the things that make me happy. haha what an epiphany. -.-. everything's so contrasting. everything's such a goddam foil of everything else. yay, i think i have things figured out with you. crap, no i don't, what the hell did you just do? yay, i think my family is beginning to cut me some slack. no--wait, no they're not..they're korean, idiot. yay, i did really well on my test. oh how convenient, i got kicked out of the class. perhaps the world's not against me. perhaps i'm against the world. maybe everyone who i call a brute isn't. maybe i'm the prick 0.o. probably. i refuse to wallow in my self pity any longer. this is ridiculous. funny how the types of people that you secretly cringe at the most are most like you. people who dwell and wallow stink. i stink. must spray self with something nicer than this. and of course, when i start to have perspective-changing views on everything, i have an unintentional way of wanting to revert it back to who should be the most important person in my life. G-g-g-g-g-God. Maybe invisible lightning bolts of fury are being thrusted at me because i've been so negligent. haha. =(. right. i raelly do have to stop being so reliant on other people. even myself 0.o. people fail you...i'll fail myself. I wish I were at some firey spiritual pinnacle of my relationship with God. I wish I had some unwavering fountain of faith that would gush out of my shoes as i walk everywhere. hahaha. i wish. 0.o. wow. wierd how the time things suck most for me happen to be the time where i'm furthest away from Him. talk about lightning bolts. hahaha. .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Thursday, December 2, 2004 / 09:27 p.m. going to study now. gonna have freaking nightmares about conics. easy unit. must. do well. anyway taa taa kids. .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Sunday, November 28, 2004 / 06:26 p.m. http://www.asiantown.net/blog/fla/are_you_dumb.swf this is so stupid. yet i like it. .feedback. ____________________________________________________ don't ask. Saturday, November 27, 2004 / 12:29 a.m. jordan had these on her page. they amuse me. asian girl with a turban. mmmm.:    or is it a little boy? who cares. HAHAHAHAHAH .feedback. ____________________________________________________ (= Saturday, November 20, 2004 / 12:05 a.m. I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! thank you kumar!!! hardy har har i have so much space to upload my shindigs now!! YAYY!! so much bandwidth, so much room to stretch out and smear myself all over the little space i occupy. har har harrr! ...truly, i realise, i am a nerd. no one in their right mind would get so excited about something so retarded. but think about it!!!! i will be able to upload masses of songs and videos and other media paraphernalia, for your viewing pleasure. in FACT, i think it's time to take up the previously bandwidth eating pelvis thrusters!!! so old, yet so legend: ngh. i already ate up the bandwidth :S nov 21. .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Norah Jones Tuesday, November 16, 2004 / 06:34 p.m. song playing: Norah Jones-I've Got to see you again Line on your face don't bother me Down in my chair when you dance over me I can't help myself I've got to see you again Late in the night when I'm all alone And I look at the clock and I know you're not home I can't help myself I've got to see you again I could almost go there Just to watch you be seen I could almost go there Just to live in a dream But no I won't go for any of those reasons To not touch your skin is not why I sing I can't help myself I've got to see you again I could almost go there.... No I won't go to share you with them But oh even though I know where you've been I can't help myself I've got to see you again this song is so provoking, so anxious sounding, i love it, i love it i love it i remember feeling this way..so much yearning. = ) great song. the beat sounds like the tick of a clock, just making you wriggle with more anticipation. unpredictable, inevitable, i love this song. (= .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Monday, November 15, 2004 / 02:35 p.m. 98 degrees-the way you do : O. beautiful song .feedback. ____________________________________________________ roar. Monday, November 15, 2004 / 12:02 p.m.  drew this last night but was too lazy to write a shpeil about it then. it seems people are always drawing pictures of beautiful women, haha even me, i'm so used to always drawing girls..how come no one ever draws beautiful men? = ( so here it is..my beautiful man. hehe. reference to jude law was used... .feedback. ____________________________________________________ obvious. Friday, November 12, 2004 / 09:12 p.m. it's so desparately trying to be hidden, but so obvious at the same time. like a silent-but-violent fart in a steamy, suffocating room. try to hide it. good luck. .feedback. ____________________________________________________ n64 roms. Thursday, November 11, 2004 / because i'm a geek. sitting on my sweet little yass. wanna know what i've been doing? download an n64 emulator first, then get this: that game is sofa king awesome. always loved tom and jerry as a child. brilliant game. hahahaha. I'm such a nerd. and here are a few more games that i've been whoring out today that ye can play too (= *click click click*: like i always say, all of this ^ is result of my deprived childhood. haha i indulge in stupid games like this now. shettup. play and you will understand haha anyway i downloaded those all today so all those links should work, children. have fun. .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Wednesday, November 10, 2004 / 09:59 p.m. aside from hoon, chris van allsburg is by far my most favorite artist. i was trying to look for photos of his art, but all the dinky images can't compare to the full blown picture book illustrations i have sprawled on my lap right now. absolutely phenominal. note to self: before 5 day weekend is over, must make use of crazy painting canvas unnie bought for you and paint a chris van allsburg peice. WAIT!!!! OMg just found it. the chris van allsburg official website!!! here omg. will become my haven. about to have seizure. click!!! CLICK!!! NOW!!! CHRIS VAN ALLSBURG!!! click 1 click 2 click 3 click 4 the canvas. a beautiful slab of fabric stretched on a board. did you know you can paint a picture, wait till it dries, and paint another picture over that one? i didn't. 0.o I can use it over and over and over again, amazing. i should hang it on the wall, keep replacing paintings with ones that better suit my mood. excellent. i love canvas. in any case. gawd. my eyes are so swollen from crying. i will come back for you, i promise. things just have to be this way for now. .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Tuesday, November 9, 2004 / 04:07 p.m. less cranky today. woo hoo put that cross-grade exam to bed! maybe because it's topic was retardedly impossible to fail...but probably because of my genius skills. har har let me amuse myself, beeyatch. yay my average is going up!!1 only 7 percent away to where i need to be...not bad, not bad. beginning of the year i was literally 20 percent away. sweet jeebus. always room for improvement. things to do today: and some other page. okokokok i'm off to finish this jazz. be back later, children .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Monday, November 8, 2004 / 08:41 p.m. indefinately failed my impossible physics test that i did today. well that's what i get for 'studying' yeseterday....aka watching harry potter hahaha. shut up. i'm feeling soo crabby today. stay away from me. .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Sunday, November 7, 2004 / 11:06 p.m. kinda scared... about concepts about...how if you continuously do things that are unbeneficial to you (unbeneficial a word?), then they really really will cause some painful outcomes. harm. najin stop this, najin stop that. = (. it's a little freaky thinking about that.... but is that fear enough for me to stop? ....you shouldn't stop things that are bad out of fear should you? you should stop them out of realization that they are bad for you...and that you shouldn't be doing them in the first place, silly. not because you're a bloody pansy. harm. i want to. i want to . i want tooooooadfalskfjaowiefjafoj. had a very nice weekend. but...gawd. i can't get back to work...it's impossible i tell you. here i am, tapping away at this cursed machine while slews of my physics work is collecting dust in front of me. i hate physics with a passion. and i envy those who understand this jibberish. i swear, once i pull apart questions and i see the inner workings of how you're supposed know how to solve these problems....once i do that....jeez, i suddenly wish i naturally knew how to do it without looking at someone else's brilliant work, without looking at the back of the book. i'm completely yammering. i'm trying to aboid doing work is what i'm doing. my eyes are half shut righ tnow hahaa i look liek a bloody fool. i should go do work. i want to sleep. gawd do your physics najin you disobediant little monkey butler. will do. ta ta. .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Thursday, November 4, 2004 / 08:41 p.m. har har slaughtered my math test today . twas lovely. but wait, last time i said that i failed miserably...we'll see tomorrow= ). what i want more than anything right now...well, in regards to a specific situation, that is...... i want the cycle to be broken. i don't want to experience such pleasantry if it means it's only going to lead up to a familiar splurge back into hurtful actions and words again. i don't want to be hurt again... please be broken, please be broken, please be broken. my balance is slowly but surely coming back! hazzah!!!! with it, my brain is coming back to plant itself on my shoulders again. with my balance comes the ability to sustain my retarded depressing tears. with my balance comes back my normal spunk. with my balance will come my bike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! slkadfjlasjfaljf soon!!!!!!! so so so soon. .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Wednesday, November 3, 2004 / 07:00 p.m. hmm i'm now applied to ubc, sfu, uvic and kwantlen. sciences. i was itchign to apply to emily carr =(. i wanna go to emily carrrrrrrrrrrrr. pooh. .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Wednesday, November 3, 2004 / 12:03 a.m. wow. lol. i'm smiling. .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Sunday, October 31, 2004 / 04:22 p.m. my gawd, i'm officially grossed out. lksdjflaskjflasjflakjflajlfjalfjaslfja. guys are disgutsting, hormone-driven creatures. .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Bye. Tuesday, October 26, 2004 / 07:23 p.m. it's something that i couldn't stop. it's something that was inevitable. i still never got to say goodbye. i miss you...did you know that? i miss you. i know we will speak again, that's as inevitable as it was that this break from talking to you was. do you miss me too? do i even still cross your mind? goodbye. .feedback. ____________________________________________________ aieofjwoi. Monday, October 25, 2004 / 07:48 p.m. yenno when you make time for things that you enjoy..but somehow you feel somewhat gyped since you haven't been able to spend that time unhindered by the demands of everything else? i don't have time......wait, yes i do. i'm constantly making room for things that will make my life maybe a little easier...but there's always those lurking roars at the back of your mind that you can never forget about. it always does a great job in spoiling the goodness you tried to set out for yourself. indirectness...i'm supreme at this hahaa. ho man. =( on another note, gawd, you have to be the most annoying person on this entire earth. maybe it's my hormones telling me to snap every time you say something retarded for the billionth time. maybe it's my intolerance for stupidity every time i hear it come from the same mouth over and over. whatever it is, i'm so gawdammed annoyed by you. i don't exactly know how all of my anger escaladed up to this point, but fact is, i'm here. at this point. ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what describing word could be used for a disgruntal female who seems to antagonize everything around her, with or without her period to help her moodiness along? oh, yeah. bitch. shoot. oops. oh yeah, note to self....find a picture of someone antagonizing the world for sunday. i should find a nice, strapping picture of myself. HAH. God, I'm so bitter. man. all this yimmer yammer, so uninteresting, haha. so dull, so repeatative. so fun to look back on. har har i hope i conveyed my feelings of failure and miserableness in this entry...it will be fun to look back on when things are up to par again. onward. what i don't understand about human nature. things are just being taken for granted, left right and center on account of this. human nature. is it human nature to just abuse something, not give a bloody damn once you know that you have some degree of control over it? denno, it seems that way. hah, and by the way, i'm in no way saying i'm above all this. i realise how much i take for granted...and i'm not talking about the starving children in africa and all the food that i don't eat that they could be eating, (all though yeah i take that for granted too) i'm talking about other people in specific. i remember, this time last year, i sat here thinking, 'why is it that this person is abusing their priviledges? why is it that they're so unappreciative, etc.'? ...now....someone tell me why i'm in this person's shoes? a lot of love has been entrusted to me, it's up to me to reciprocate, it's up to me to return all favours because of this. but i don't........because..........*big fat blank*. oh yeah, i can't answer this, i'm too busy taking peopel for granted. har har. seriously. i'm quite thoroughly perplexed. humans suck. i wish i were.................. hahaha i kept my finger on that dot button for so long....i really couldn't think of anything else that i'd rather be -.-. humans still suck. motto of the month: i don't care. wish i did. but i don't. thank god this month is almost over, eh? Maybe next month's motto will be something along the lines of 'hey things are more bearable, i'm going to stop being such a beeyoth now." .feedback. ____________________________________________________ Sunday, October 24, 2004 / 12:30 a.m. my finger hurts. anyway, if i'm doing something wrong, i am now officially oblivious to it. or im refusing to believe it. :P stupid najin. i sa the grudge for the second time today....i don't know...yes all though the girl with the crackly throaty noise with the long hair is creepy, movie's not too bad. meaning not too scary. that is a lot coming from me too, this is someone who hadn't been able to sleep for like a month after watching the exorcist......alkfjar roar i hate that movie hahaha anyway. lisa's birthday is on the 25th =) all though i've already blabbered on abotu that. i splurged wads of money yesterday on useless paraphernalia...clothes, accessories, hats. har har . i hate adware..my gawd, i just reformatted my computer like less than a week ago, i look at my task manager, there are things called 'faces-of-bush-. hahahah what the hell is that. i don't wanna know.....*end task* =(. stoopid infected computar. anyway i'll write more later. gotta clean my room. it's atrocious .feedback. ____________________________________________________ wooly bully. Thursday, October 21, 2004 / 11:37 p.m. wooly bully. i love that song. it totally reminds me of that korean commercial from the chick from 'my sassy girl' dancing her heart out in front of that mirror. great commercial. great song. wow, ryan, i think you broke my hand. =( so unfair. you know one of those situations where someone's grabbing and twisting your hand...and at the same time you have a grasp of their hand too..impulse is (well mine, at least) is to grab their hand back. so there ryan is twisting my hand to smithereens. there i am trying to reciprocate. it was a brutal battle that my hand lost. *strokes hand* there, there. lisa joined muay thai boxing! so did sam!! don't know if tha'ts how you spell it but she joined! in all the kneeing-each other, thai glory. haha, somehow, i found it painfully amusing when she told me how her instructor 'accidentally' punched her in the face. hahahaha. why do peopel laugh at pain? beats me..it's hilarious though. i wonder if anyone is sitting there laughing at my crippled hand. gawd dam this cruel world which i am unfortunately part of...haha. woo haww!! it's lisa's birthday on the 25th, fran's on the 28th. both coming up so soon! must spend tomorrow with my white ninja. har har. white ninja. gotta read the new ones. here's a link for y'all: whiteninjacomics.com hilarious shnitzel. i went up 27% in chemistry in one week! think of the possibilities. : ) ...all though i am 12 percent away from my ubc sciences average as of now. school still sucks, but sucks less, thank God. and thank my rusty brain useage. oh my sweet lord. even when my broswer isn't open, i get these annoying popups that my desktop somehow spawns every 15 minutes or so. it's annoying beyond all reasons. sweet jesus, if anyone knows how to fix this, pleeeeeease teach meeeeeee. = ) woot woot. going up. going up. going upppp. .feedback. ____________________________________________________ ARCHIVES . |
