1) 2002
2) 2003/2004
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layers Wednesday, July 7, 2004 / 05:13 p.m. LAYER ONE: What is your..? -- Name: Najin Jun -- Birth date: February 18, 1987 -- Birthplace: Surrey BC =P -- Current Location: North Delta =) -- Eye Color: Black/brown -- Hair Colour: blackkkk as night!!! -- Height: 5'1-5'2 ish hehehehe -- Right handed or Left handed: roite --------------------------------------------- LAYER TWO: -- Heritage: heritage, eh? ....heh. nice word. Korean =) -- Weakness: what makes me weak? sincerity -- Biggest fears: failing? disappointment -- Your perfect pizza: made of candy =D -- Goal you'd like to achieve: get my bike by the end of summer. ---------------------------------------------- LAYER THREE: Your? -- Most overused phrase(s): indeed, bloody hell, excellent -- Thoughts first waking up: my alarm is gawdamm annoying *slaps sleep button* -- Best physical feature: my middle finger. haha none of your biznass. -- Usual bedtime: hamm varies -- Most missed memory: elementary school =( being a wee little one. ------------------------------------------------- LAYER FOUR: Preferences..? -- Pepsi or Coke: pepsinder. -- McDonald's or Burger King: mcdonalds, gross i know but i love it's greasy goodness. -- Single or group dates: lol single =). -- Lipton Iced Tea or Nestea: same. -- Chocolate or vanilla: mm choco -- Cappuccino or Latte: cappooopoo ------------------------------------------------- LAYER FIVE: Do you? -- Sing: my heart out, oui -- Take a shower every day: ...sure. HAHA hey man, it's summer, i can be a dirtball if i please -- Have a crush(es): right now? heh. crush. haven't had one of those for a while -- Think you've been in love: yes. -- Like high school: i larf it. let me hold my breath though i have a feeling grade 12 is going to be hellish lol -- Want to get married: yes and no. =S. it's a complicated...err..emotion. haha. -- Believe in yourself: sure thing, badda bing. i think i can, i think i can. -- Get motion sickness: depends what's making the motion. --Think you're attractive: can be. -- Think you're a health freak: heck no. -- Get along with your parents: that'd be nice =) -- Like thunderstorms: yes. coolio! -- Play an instrument: violin for like 7 or 8 years... =( should pick it up again. taught myself a little piano, drums. ------------------------ LAYER SIX: In the past month, you've? -- Drank alcohol: no sir. -- Gone on a date: heh. *blushes* yers. -- Gone to the mall: gawd i've been ratting for this past month. -- Eaten sushi: hmm. yes =D -- Been on stage: ran aroudn on a stage but wasn't performing anything special lol -- Been dumped: lol no -- Gone skating: =( nooo i'd like to --------------------------------------- LAYER EIGHT: -- Age you hope to be married: gawd don't make me think about that. it'll happen when it happens =) -- Numbers and Names of Childrens: what a freakshow question, shettup. -- Describe your Dream Wedding: beautiful and simple. -- How do you want to die: however it happens, i don't have a preference haha -- What do you want to be when you grow up?: I've always wanted to be an artist. heh....i'll settle for being a pharmacist though -.-. damn 'stability' krap. ------------------------------------------------- LAYER NINE: In a girl/boy, you would want? -- Best eye color: dark eyes. beautiful =) deep. -- Best hair color: dark hair, black, dark brown -- Short or long hair: short and spikey does it for me =) -- Weight: buff. hehe. -- Best first date location: somewhere formal, i'd like =). somewhere where we could talk, get to know each other ------------------------------------------------ LAYER TEN: List the number of: -- Drugs taken illegally: lol nil -- People trust with my life: family, a select few friends. -- CDs that I own: haha sailormoon!!!!! old school cds, burnt ones, classical ones -- Piercings: one on each ear =) -- Tattoos: nah. -- Times my name has appeared in the newspaper? that's a good question. my name's come up a few times in the korean newspaper lol. hmmm once, twice, err....that might be it =S. -- Scars on my body: one on my left foot from hot ass tea spilling on it (alkjfalkjfaljflakjf!!!!!!!!), on my left hand middle fingerfrom slicing a chunk of my flesh off when i was cutting bits of paper when i was a wee little kid, hmm...scars scars scars....donno, i'm bound to have s'more. lol .comment ____________________________________________________ resist. Wednesday, July 7, 2004 / 01:22 a.m. Yenno how some people cry out like 'why the hell are you making it so hard for me God to resist this or resist that?' ....sometimes, it's because you jump right into the situation, idiot. K that goes for anything, even stuff that I'm kind of facing right now. There are things that sometimes make me wonder 'why does it have to be so hard to forget this, to move on with that'. I can avoid those things by avoiding a situation where I'd be faced with them in the first place. Yesterday I rantered on about how the littlest things can bring back a lot of memories. yeah that's true, yadda yadda yadda, but that doesn't mean you go right ahead submerging yourself into those things that are going to bring back those pains again. Just avoid them. It's not like running away from your problems if you've already come to conclusions about the situation...if you already know what's best, then sometimes avoiding situations like this isn't a bad thing. In fact, it'd do more good than harm. Well in this case, at least. I think I did a pretty good job of this today. =). Let's hope tomorrow I can be as...nmmph. =) Good night, world. .comment ____________________________________________________ Tuesday, July 6, 2004 / fran, come home. =( .comment ____________________________________________________ Hamm.. Tuesday, July 6, 2004 / 01:43 a.m. And so the horror begins. Summer school: Day 1. Thinking of today's events. Thinking of all I saw, thought, felt today. No doubt I'm exhausted... It's so messed up how the slightest thing can just bring back so many memories. a sound, a scent, a faint brush, the slightest of nods. =|... ...was so wierd to see you today... like nothing changed. whatever. the past is the past. I'm going to have to learn to deal with this, I'm going to have to face it every day for the next little while. In any case, summer school is brutal!!! I guess it helps that it ends at 11:45 am but the fact that I have to walk my ass home most days is bruuuutal =(. It's times like this that I really want a vehicle. or a taxi. or a slave with a strong back, or something. hahahhaa. When will you wake up, Najin? When will you look at the reality around you? When will you shed yourself of your shell? How long can you last like this before it cracks? i'm going to bed. .comment ____________________________________________________ Monday, July 5, 2004 / 05:48 p.m. i'm so tired. .comment ____________________________________________________ woo ha ha. Sunday, July 4, 2004 / 10:22 p.m. =D Had a great weekend. gosh darn jeepers golly things are going so well for me right now. my summer and everything has just been falling into place as planned. got my license, am goign to enroll in bike school very soon, have a job that i love, have amazing people in my life, I don't know what to ask for...there's nothing more I could want =D ...thing is...it's times like this when you're so comfortable with the way things are that you forget things that are relevant. (= I. mustn't. forget. I'm blessed. That's all there is to it. I have God to thank for all this. I was so pathetically sluggish and fugly today, haha did not get enough sleep last night. sooooooooo to compensate i went shopping today =D yay jewelry. yay clothes. .comment ____________________________________________________ 100. Friday, July 2, 2004 / 12:56 p.m. =) =) =) =). who would've thought we'd have made it this far? this is only the beginning. tra la la la. it's cloudy, it's nasty outside. it's sunny here. hehehe. cheese. gotta love it. this weekend has been nothing short of sexcellent!!! got the whole house to myself (which creeps me out a bit at night), got a love shack of a beast mobile for transportation (hahaa my nasty, beater van) and unlimited pasta (because i don't know how to make anything else). =P. riiiiiiight. .comment ____________________________________________________ Thursday, July 1, 2004 / 12:11 p.m. gawd, i hate drama. i hate drama with a passion. obviously no one likes it...but isn't it funny...how some people...some people think they don't like it, when it seems like they just can't live without it. everything is just always pumped with drama. it's like they thrive off of it. what's up with that? in any case. (=. .comment ____________________________________________________ Wednesday, June 30, 2004 / 07:14 p.m. song playing: three days grace-scared. nope, lyrics dont' mean anything. i just like this song. hah i remember saying this before, and i'm just goign to repeat myself because it's truth has rung in me mroe and more lately. i don't care. i dont' want to care. fuck this. a;lsjfalksjflasjfljsfl sdalkfjsaf'jsa'fdja'fjas'ldfjas'djf asjfka djfa spfjas pfjas fja sjf asjfad sjfa jfpa wjoejfpwajefpoawjfpja bugger off. .comment ____________________________________________________ who rocks? Tuesday, June 29, 2004 / 10:59 a.m. i rock. no, not you. i rock. right. time for a nap. i will be waken up when i will be waken up. .comment ____________________________________________________ right. Monday, June 28, 2004 / 11:45 a.m. i guess it's a good thing that you're able to say those things to me now. i guess it's a good thing that I'm able to do the things that I'm doing now. it's okay. .i guess. it's okay. ..this is wierd. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAH HAH HHAHHAHAHAH!!!!! *crying* gawd damn, ray makes me laugh:   
.comment ____________________________________________________ **yawn Saturday, June 26, 2004 / 10:25 a.m. fever was.......eh. i feel sorry for anyone who paid for a ticket hahahaha, that's all i have to say. meh. =D i'm sitting here dyING. holy hell i'm so tired. shall write more in the late. .comment ____________________________________________________ Thursday, June 24, 2004 / 02:18 p.m. this song is old, i used to hear it on the radio all the time....listen to the song..read the lyrics. oyyy i am so feeling them: vertical horizon-everything you want Somewhere there's speaking It's already coming in Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind You never could get it Unless you were fed it Now you're here and you don't know why But under skinned knees and the skid marks Past the places where you used to learn You howl and listen Listen and wait for the Echoes of angels who won't return Chorus He's everything you want He's everything you need He's everything inside of you That you wish you could be He says all the right things At exactly the right time But he means nothing to you And you don't know why You're waiting for someone To put you together You're waiting for someone to push you away There's always another wound to discover There's always something more you wish he'd say Chorus And watch it unwind It's only what you're asking for And you'll be just fine With all of your time It's only what you're waiting for Out of the island Into the highway Past the places where you might have turned You never did notice But you still hide away The anger of angels who won't return Chorus I am everything you want I am everything you need I am everything inside of you That you wish you could be I say all the right things At exactly the right time But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why And I don't know why Why I don't know :S. .comment ____________________________________________________ Yooo Thursday, June 24, 2004 / 12:06 p.m. click me - been postponed till tomorrow night at the library square... see you therrreeeeeeeee .comment ____________________________________________________ G'day Wednesday, June 23, 2004 / 05:09 p.m. =D good day, y'all!!! Wee oo, had a surprisingly smiley, good day today for some reason 0.o. in any case, it's Abdu's birthday today too =D happy birthday to that mate~ Everyone's provincials are coming to their climax or drawing to a close, good luck to everyone who is still goign to be taking them in the next little while~~ omg my road test is in 6 days. God save us all. underappreciated? the best way to save yourself from the feeling of being underappreciated is to just give and give and give, forget about getting. you do things for people and they don't seem to acknowledge it? beign bitter about it wouldn't be the correct mindset of giving in the first place. Giving is giving. to give. to attribute. to bestow. to give. it's as simple as that =) of course it gets really frustrating if you keep giving very meaningful things to people that mean a lot to you and it seems liek they don't care at all...well in those cases, maybe it's best to think about whether or not those people are good in such a close-tied relationship with you...people you are closely tied with will make a way greater emotional impact on you than acquaintances and peopel like that. you can choose who to have in your life...you can choose who you want to get close to...if you really don't want to be hurt by their insensitiveness, maybe you shoudl reconsider what's good for you. hmm...if you're willing to be a little selfish, that is. (= =) .comment ____________________________________________________ wee oo Tuesday, June 22, 2004 / 09:33 a.m. summer time. bliss. I love it =D anyway...wow things have been pretty 0.0 lately. pretty good i guess you could say. Things are going the way I think they should be going, regardless of whether it's something that I want or not. That's a good thing. I think I"m beginning to be able to control things that I know aren't good for me and I would be better without. I'm learning how to be unselfish, I'm learning to make decisions for you, not just for me.. things are good. (=. i'll write more in a bit. .comment ____________________________________________________ yaeee!!! Saturday, June 19, 2004 / 04:26 p.m. school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out school's out. summer school will be in soon -.- ah well, won't be too bad...at least it won't go for the whole day, for the whole summer. oh hell, it's so beautiful outside, have you looked out there?!?!?!? haafskjfasjf =D =D =d+d=dD=dafjasflka excellent excellent excellent .comment ____________________________________________________ release. Wednesday, June 16, 2004 / had a sudden UTD. urge to doodle. =P :  haven't drawn in a while. damn, i am an angry kid. i was actually attempting to take a lot of time to make something meaningful and something people might find beautiful... instead i got completely disturbed, and ended up splattering my mind into a 10-minute peice of crap. here it is. surprisingly enough, it liberates me though, i must say. i feel better. .comment ____________________________________________________ Hurrah!! Wednesday, June 16, 2004 / 04:38 p.m. that is like, so totally, like so tubular. like, totally. 2 more days. dear gawd, i love my life. awards ceremony tomorrow. hm. in group 6, 9*, 12, and 13. supposedly, a star means you're getting two awards for that group. so five. why the hell am i getting five awards? i really don't deserve any. i didn't max out my nerdtacular abilities this year or anything. neh. not complaining or anything though. go najinder!! it just hit me how close everything is!!!!!!! my road test is in a few weeks, a few days after that is me n francis' 100 days, then a few weeks after that i'm gong to enroll in bike school!!!! it's all coming so FAST!!!!! it's all COMING SO FAST!!!! I LOVE ITTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! s fa fasfkldjaslfjasfljas fja sdfjaslfjaslfja =D can i refresh your memory on how my beautiful bike will look like? can i refresh your memory? please let me refresh your memory! cammon... i shall refresh your memory:  YAY!!!!!!!!!!! What's Leftttt: .comment ____________________________________________________ comfortable. Tuesday, June 15, 2004 / 03:23 p.m. this song is so sad... dl it, it was too big to stick on here lol John Mayer-Comfortable: I just remembered that time at the market You snuck up behind me and jumped on my shopping cart And drove down aisle 5 You looked behind you and smiled back at me Crashed into a rack full of magazines They asked us if we could leave Can't remember what went wrong last September Though I'm sure you'd remind me if you had to Our love was comfortable and so broken in I sleep with this new girl I'm still getting used to My friends all approve, say she's gonna be good for me They throw me high five's She says the Bible is all that she reads And prefers that I not use profanity Your mouth was so dirty Life of the party And she swears that she's artsy But you could distinguish Miles from Coltrain Our love was comfortable and so broken in She's perfect So flawless Or so they say She thinks I can't see the smile that she's faking The poses for pictures that aren't being taken I loved you Gray sweat pants No makeup So perfect Our love was comfortable and so broken in She's perfect, so flawless I'm not impressed I want you back ain't that nice. anyway, pwahahhahahaha took the first part of my math final to school, baby!! EXCELLENT!!!! socials was whatever. What's Leftttt: in any case, it's my dad's birthday today!!!!!!!! happy birthday, abba =D how old is he now, anyway? errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... this is pretty old. but gawd, what a camera whore hahaha:  3 MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!! .comment ____________________________________________________ 4 Tuesday, June 15, 2004 / 12:51 a.m. four more days... only four more days. (= soundes goodes. this whole studying thing isn't really working out for me though. =S. ahrem. tamorrow: math final PT I ss final PT I and so it begins. shat on a turtle. still have time to look at art. haha: click 1 click 2 click 3 click 4 .comment ____________________________________________________ 180o Sunday, June 13, 2004 / 09:37 p.m. wow. in one moment, your whole life can be changed forever. regardless of what you've build yourself to be like your entire life, you can do a complete 180 in a matter of seconds. i feel... so....... so..... so.... squishy. notes to self: dates and PLANS -social studies final Pt. 1 -pay day!! =D -math final part II .comment ____________________________________________________ Listen!!! Wednesday, June 9, 2004 / 05:04 p.m. Okay, yeah, no i haven't gone off to study yet. i will right after this entry, i promise lol. But you must listen to this song (wait for it to load) when i first heard it, i didn't think much of it...in fact, judging from the title, i thought it would be a sentimental song, praising the fluttery feelings people might be able to give you by their presence. little did i knowwwwww...hehe. her voice isn't phenominal or anything, but it's one of those songs that really grow on you after you keep listening ot it. it's one of those songs that you can't help but to keep listneing to it either. The drumming at the beginning sounds like a beating heart, and the piano just fits so well with her voice. plus, the lyrics...hm. i can relate. that's all i can say: Silje Nergaard-Be Still my Heart My heart is not lonely or broken It's not of ice or of gold Nor has my heart ever spoken To me when a love has grown cold I felt not the faintest flatter When you brushed my cheek as you passed Nor will I willingly clutter My life with these thing that don't last [chorus] Be still my heart My heart be still Be still my heart My heart be still If our eyes should meet then so be it No need to trouble the heart That is hidden where no one can free it Only to tear it apart [chorus] Be still my heart (my heart be still) My heart be still Be still my heart My heart be still Beware, beware (be still my heart) to care, to care (be still my heart) beware, beware (be still my heart ) to care, to care (my heart be still) beware, beware (be still my heart) My heart Be still my heart My heart be still Be still my heart (my heart) My heart be still Be still my heart My heart be still My heart Be still My heart Be still .comment ____________________________________________________ Crunch Time. Wednesday, June 9, 2004 / 03:48 p.m. All of a sudden, I'm whacked with all these sudden end-tying tasks...like FINALS!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I have a practise math exam tomorrow worth five percent of my grade...and I guess five percent might not be that much..but it is when you're borderline 0.o. So yae, study time for today. The next week and a half is going to contain 9324824 cups of coffee, 459385 page flippages, 2 bags under these eyes, and 1 shit-faced Najin. Only a week and a half. only a week and a half. only a week and a half. RIGHT after school is out (on the eighteenth, whoot woot!!)! there are so many things that I want/need to do as well. Get my stupid N -.-...which I've been putting off for much too long, enroll for bike school, summer school, get my bike, work, bablablablablablbalbalba. At least I will have a somewhat productive summer hehehe. (= anyway, it's back to studying for me. as for all the things that are going on in my life that are actually worth consideration and attention, i'm..............i dont' want to think about those right now. go study najin, go. =S. .comment ____________________________________________________ Love. Monday, June 7, 2004 / 06:06 p.m. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; wthen we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 what all this means to me. bottom line is, it never said that love makes you feel like you are on top of the world, it never said that love will always make you feel whole and complete, it never said that loving anyone would be easy. It says 'love is...love is...love is'. Love is an action. Though I love, I might not always feel like love is there, i might not always feel like i'm in a fluffy cloud. Just because you feel a certain way doesn't mean love is not there. You can feel whatever the hell you want, it will not change the way things are. I want to love you. And I will. 'Feel'ings will come naturally. .comment ____________________________________________________ confuzzlement. Monday, June 7, 2004 / 01:11 a.m. a few thoughts before i konk out for bed. Haha, I can't believe it's come down to this...I tried promising myself that I wouldn't let this happen. On one side, you're at risk of disappointing peole around you..you're at risk of hurting people around you. on the other side, you're unhappy. you're empty. on one side, you're being selfish, hurting others. on the other side, you're hurting yourself by not being selfish. so what, if you decided to be selfish najin, went through with all the disappointment dumped on you by those around you....what then? would you feel accomplished then? i want to be happy. i want to be happy. i should be happy. there is no reason for me not to be happy. be happy, najin. everythign is perfect. everything is there. be happy. be happy. be happy. gorgeous. smart. passionate. ideal. perfect. enough. enough? GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is all so eye twitch-ingly GAY! GAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!! If you click on my archived entries, the last time i archived some of my may entries, i wrote down 'math' instead of may o.0. school is getting to me. holy hell. HAhaha .comment ____________________________________________________ let me go. Friday, June 4, 2004 / 05:56 p.m. I don't want this, this is not what i asked for. i don't want to do this anymore. i want things to stay the way they were. what did i ask for anyway? everything worthwhile in life is going to take work. i dont' want to work, i'm not ready for this. i want out, i want out i want out. i can't do this, i don't want to do it. too much responsibility, too much obligation. it will only lead to too much disappointment. i can't do what you expect of me, i'm sorry. don't rely on me for it, i can't give it to you. i can't give it to you because i know that my heart's not there. my heart's not here. i can't do it. i want to bail .comment ____________________________________________________ ARCHIVES . |
