1) 2002
2) 2003
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aimless Monday, May 5, 2003 / 04:14 p.m. I'm going to start aiming at relavent things. I realised that no matter how bad I want something for someone, it will never happen unless they get off their ass and want it just as bad as I do. You can only help someone so much...whatever they do, whether it be bad or good for them, it's their choice, let them face the consequences the hard way if they don't want to listen to you. Bah, whatever on a lighter note, my cell minutes reset tomorrow! weee, I'm not over a bajillion minutes anymore! =D .Leave a comment. 
Monday, April 28, 2003 / 09:33 p.m. I'm so happy, but I'm so pissed, all at the same time. It's like I want to smile, but then again, I want to cry all at the same time. What happens? My face looks like this: ._. Neutral. My computer seriously smells like it's burning. Haha, how ghetto. ........*getting paranoid* I'm getting off now before it explodes. .Leave a comment.
Let's blow up out of no where =) Saturday, April 26, 2003 / 04:12 a.m. bloody hell, the first or second time someone does something to bother me, I'm going to tell them about it right away. It will always catch you off guard if you constantly do something that bothers people and they don't tell you until they're on the verge of ripping your eyes out. If someone isn't told that what they're doing bothers people, and people act like what you do doesn't bother them, then you'll walk around doing it over and over again, not knowing the annoyance it's causing. Eventually, one lovely day you think things are fine (and 'they always have been'), then someone who can't take it anymore will blow up at you out of the blue, and it'll really knock you on your ass. .Leave a comment.
gawd Friday, April 25, 2003 / 12:28 a.m. I need a job. I need a job. I need to sleep. I need a job. .Leave a comment.
ok, no Friday, April 11, 2003 / 12:13 a.m. all right, all right, no I refuse to act ignorant and be numb to all my problems. I am dealing with them, really I am. With God's help and a little bit of faith, things'll work out. =). Reading my last entry just scared me to a point where I had to write this one. HAha .Leave a comment.
Numb to the brink Friday, April 11, 2003 / 12:01 a.m. Wow, I've never been in this state before. I'm so numb to all the crying and hurt that it doesn't affect me anymore. I'm so numb to everything that I can freely go back to mindless thoughts and giddy moods, almost forgetting about these problems. See, just watch me go......: I talked to Hunter today, whom I haven't talked to for so long!! He's studying sciences in China now, that butt wipe, he should come back to Vancouver, his dam mother hen is worrying about him. Heh, anyway the kid bought me nunchucks for my birthday (which was in February)!! =D All though I haven't seen them yet I'm still retardedly excited, thanks so much hunter, yer the best!!! Life is good. =D . See, being numb to this ain't so bad. .Leave a comment.
Square One Tuesday, April 8, 2003 / 01:57 a.m. seriously, i'm going mental. When you think you have everything figured out, some freak incident comes to kick you in the ass to remind you that you don't. The sad thing is, everything you had 'figured out', isn't so 'figured out' anymore. Great. We really are back at square one. Wee. People say that no guy is worth your tears. I'm finding less and less reasons to argue that statement. Regarding different issues, I believe it's time to begin bringing ones I reminisce about back into my life. When these superficial, meager issues fade away and diminish, I realise that real meaning from my life is completely neglected. It's been so incredibly empty without you, you have no clue. I miss you. .Leave a comment.
Confusion Sunday, April 6, 2003 / 08:01 p.m. So how am I supposed to react to this? Why don't you even act like you care? Am I just supposed to soak this all in and act like nothing happened? I've been doing that all this time all ready.... I'm on the verge of breaking, and that's what you don't know. You don't even know how much I get hurt every time your careless nature is at my expense. Sooner or later you're going to have to realize that I will break this cycle and I'm not afraid to do it. I feel like things are just starting back at square one.... .Leave a comment.
An abused word Saturday, April 5, 2003 / 07:16 p.m. 'Fore you read all this junk there's something you gotta know. I am a person who hates cornyness because I, personally think it's all a bunch of wishy washy bull crap. And no that's not because I'm immature, I've just come to realise that 99 percent of the time i've experienced it or seen it, it hasn't been genuine. Anyway, knowing this children, I'm going to launch into a subject that you probably have heard so much that you don't care anymore. The damn word have been beat 'till it's death I tell you...it's been overrused to the maximum and beyond...and that word is love. Nah I'm not gonna bother tryign to define it for you or tell you about all my little encounters with it but I'm gonna tell you a little something about it. No I'm not talking about the love that is shallow and the kind that you've heard so much that the word's numb in your skulls. I'm talking about the rare, actual kind. Not just based aroudn emotions and crap. It's based around faith in each other and the whole nine yards. Ah...maybe you have yet to experience it...but that's not the point. If you've experienced it....the REAL thing I mean... your first love is always a part of you. I know that statement is so cliche and you've probably heard it but take it into consideration. Not knowing this statement well enough might hinder you from being able to move on and start a new relationship. If you've experienced that genuine love and are able to forget about everything that happened between you two with ease, my friend, I'll tell you now, that was not real love. Nevertheless, realise that memories are memories, accept them for what they are. Sure you're with a new person, and sure, maybe you'll have little reminiscing times when you think about your first love, but that doesn't necessarily mean you still care for them in that way any more. Those memories might bother you, I know it bothered me a helluva lot when I went through all this crap, but don't mistake them for anything else. Memories most likely....realistically too, can't become reality again so accept them as good ol' memories and keep them that way. Bah no one will probably understand this until they go through it but it's true. .Leave a comment.
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