Saturday, July 24, 2004
{ Holy crap...I'm going girly. x_x }

Yes..I am going girly...it's for real...I'll explain. You see, when me, Miako and Amara were walking into target to look at the New Beyblades. Miako stopped and started looking at clothing, after noticing I always looked at the clothing, as we walked by. o_o; so we ended up spending all our Beyblade money on clothing. >>; Sheesh...We're going GIRLY! XD;; After my mom took them home, we agreed that we had a ton of fun, SHOPPING. So we're planning on doing it once a month or so form now on. o_o; Maybe I can go buy some more eyeshadow now. XD;;;

Anyways..I have a update on the James thing. He called me the day after, he so called broke up with me. Explaining how he talked it over with his step father, and his step father says that it's okay and we CAN date after all...But one problem. He lives out of state cause of a court case. x.x And he won't be back IN state for a few months...so till then, James isn't allowed to see me/talk to me/IM me/whatever...even tho he STILL does so anyways. XD

I had a karate test friday. I only hope I get my brown belt! That would be so cool if I do! ^^ I even got to spare basicly, and my friends say I got that 'killer' look now. It's like a look of total focus, and no emotion. It used to scare the liven day lights out of me back when I was a lower belt rank. But now I have that same look! Heh cool!

I might get to spend the night at Miako's soon! She’s getting a PUPPY! ^^ and she says that once the puppy is settled in, I can spend the night! Yay!

{ Pushing Me Away - Linkin Park }

{ Melkoshi @ 07:17 p.m. }

Wednesday, July 21, 2004
{ ...James broke up with me.... }

My first boyfriend, and I was hopeing my only boyfriend. Just so called 'broke up' with me, cause his parents forced him to. His parents are psykos, and over react to everylittle thing. They forced him to 'break up' with me, over me leaveing 3 messages on thier anwsering masheen(spelling?). It's idiotic! I mean...thats just..stupid! However..it was also the fact he went behide thier backs to talk to me...

But now, he is, no longer allowed to talk to me, contact me in ANY way, shape or form, or see me ever again. They said thay'd get a rastrain order if needed. When he called me to tell me this. I could tell he was crying over the phone, as he was that upset.

However, with him being only 14, unable to drive, and with us already living an hour apart. We can't see often eachother as it is. So, we mainly saw eachother, when his parents took him to hang out with his friends at the mall. Where I also hanged out with my friends. But now, he's not allowed to go anymore. No seeing him. His parents are even changeing his aol screen name, so I won't talk to him. He says he'll still talk to me by email however, and call whenever he can, when his parents aren't home.

He and I even planned on staying together after he moves to hawaii(which is at the end of the year.) But now...Thats a dream bit into the dust... He said that, once he's 18, he'll find me once again...I know it sounds stupid but...I believe him.

Yeah...Maybe broke up wasn't the right word. >>; As he said he'd still TRY to contact me after all...

As much as I got anger with him sometimes..and how much I seemed to not care about him..I really did...I loved him...But now...I can't even tell him! Dear god! Why? Why did it have to come to this?! If only...I could redo this day....maybe this wouldn't of happened...

Is there any way I can get over the pain/get through this easyer? I was in love with him...and we were only together for 3 and ahalf months as of now. But I knew him for 4 years.

I know I should just get over him and move on but...How? He was the first guy I fell in love with after all.

I mainly just needed to get this all out. Sorry for wasteing anyones time. Maybe I should just go die...I feel like i've already died anyways...

{ My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne (Fits my life so well currectly.) }

{ Melkoshi @ 06:06 p.m. }

Monday, July 19, 2004
{ Gha..my life has been BORING. >_o; }

Yeah..reason why I haven't posted in a bit. >>;

Last weekend(the 10th) I went to the movies with James. Dear god was the movie stupid, but hell I was really just looking for a dead movie, that was playing, so I could make out really...If your wondering I personal don't care anymore about anything really...You can hopefully tell i'm depressed.

Anyways, James and I went a tad too far at the movies(..not that far. i'm still a virgin, you perverts.) and we sort of been haveing trouble with our relationship lately aswell. Mainly cause BOTH of our parents want us to break up now. It's getting annoying.

Anyways, went to the mall saturday, hanged with Miako and Amara! ^^ I haven't hanged out with JUST them in forever! ^_^ Other then that um...I got some new boots last weekend....Thier biker boots! Thier discontinued, and were supposed to be 150$! but I got them for 39.99$ O_O; XD I ripped the store off! Yeah! XP

Um..I started a shop on gaia. Pixel art this time however. Miako is going to join it soon, under a differt account. cause of what happend last time.(..She traced >_o;; Bad miako! Bad girl! ) meh. *sighs* so far i've been makeing a ton of cash. But yeah. Go and look AND buy please! XD

I need to start working on my Beyblade Team. >_o; I jsut need ot DRAW two more characters and thats it! >_o; Thier even DESIGNED already. >_o; Just..gotta..DRAW THEM! -_-;; *cough*

Um nothing much else. Next weekend, my family and I are going Jetsking, James is also invited to go, but i'm not sure if he's allowed. -_-; Oh well. I could invite Miako and Amara if he can't go! XD

{ Whisper - Evanescence }

{ Melkoshi @ 02:51 a.m. }

Tuesday, July 6, 2004
{ Meh this week was...Busy o.o;; }

Yes...new layout...Don't worry it won't stay non-anime for long. >_o;; I'm going to draw a sad piccy, so it matchs the layout still then replace the picture of Avril.

Anyways...Alright...So much stuff to write about...I'll do it by the days...

Wednesday:
James came over! ^^ I kicked his ASS in...*counts* 4 or so games! SCII, SSB, Power Stone(HIS OWN GAME!), Pokemon.(No way in HELL was he going to beat my level 100 pokemon! XP) Might of been a few more but I can't remember. >>; But once it was like..around 2pm or so, we kind of just hanged out in my bedroom the rest of the day.. >_>;; hehe...I bet you can just guess, what went on in there now....But hint: I'm still a virgin, so no sick thoughts! XP

Friday:
My computer had a melt down >_o;; The power went out when I was doing a windows update...took two hours to get it to just START normaly! >_o;;; But it's fixed...thank GOD! But..I'm missing notepad! >_o;; Maybe some other things... I'm going to go take it down to my computer guy soon...I hope. ;_;

Sunday:
Went over to the lake/park with Miako and Amara. They invited me to spend the night at thier place AND go see the fireworks with them! ^^ Which were totally awesome! However... I got sick from eating something...I had a hotdog and icecream...and also a MacD's super sized...meh....x_x
Edit: OMFG! How could I have forgotten this?! >_o;; I just remember something I wanted to blog about! Alright, when me and Miako were walking back to thier mobile home to watch the fireworks. As I walked by, some guy looked at me and said "hey." in a really flirty voice. O_o;;; He was like...16 or something!..Tho was cute but...gosh did that just..freak me out. O_o;; All I did however was look back then continue walking..then ran after Miako said she thought the guy was going to ask me out. >_>; Sheesh...

Monday:
Over at Miako's still. I went swimming...Got sunburned! >_o; My snow white skin! No! It's a ugly shade of red now! X_x;; After that however, Miako and me(...and her family too ^^;) went to the movies! ^^ We saw spider man 2! Not a bad movie! Infact...I want to see it again! XD James! I hope you like Spider man, dude! After that however, we went back to her place. I called my mom and asked if I could stay another night and I was allowed to. *nods* Only thing I didn't like about staying over Miako's, is that at night, sometimes Miako uses me like a pillow! >_o;;;

Today:
Um..mainly I helped Amara out with her Donkey Kong game. O_o; Makes me wanna finish my game! XD She beat it too. I went home too, then went to karate. Ran into Cecile, who got braces! Shes only 12! O_o;;...Makes me feel odd for not having braces and being 14...Meh...

Um, hopefully going out with James on saturday..Hopefully being the key word! >_o;; Tho, my mom says I can invite him over next week so um..yay? >>;

{ Miako on the talky thingy on AIM }

{ Melkoshi @ 10:17 p.m. }