MEIMI... Email: meimi@time-stranger.net AIM: KSaintTail Age: 15 Tanjoubi: 11/18/01 Computer: A cute, slightly mischievious PC named Nokoru, Sei-chan the monitor, and Twinkie-sama the scanner. Site: M-T ARCHIVE... FANFICTION... PLAYLIST... FAVORITE... Things: Tomodachi, drawing, shopping at Mitsuwa, shounen-ai/yaoi, fangirlism as a way of life Anime: CLAMP Gakuen Tanteidan, Karekano, Gravitation, Digimon/02, Fruits Basket Manga: Tokyo Babylon, Gravitation, Nervous Venus, Clover, Kamikaze Kaitou Jeanne, Houshin Engi Fun Girls: Kusakabe Maron, Sumeragi Hokuto, Honda Tooru, Ohkawa Utako, Souryu Asuka Langely Pretty Boys: Imonoyama Nokoru, Ishida Yamato, Ichijouji Ken, Seguchi Touma, Ran, Arima, Souma Yuki, Sei-chan~! Music: Chara, Hayashibara Megumi, L'arc-en-Ciel pitas LINKS... allegretto applesauce aqua stranger basic black cat's delicacy cephiro, inc. complete strangers convent girl december23 demon winged disintegration doushita no?! dreams of sakura echoes from the void eyes unclouded freetalk green tea ice cream headphones save lives innocent masquerade kaijuu ga iru kelemenopy kudaranai kyoko lady commander lime rain one dimensional pensieve random pie sadistic dreaming selective memory somedays good somedays bad take off to the sky tegretol dreams that damn duck the bishounen diaries truth tsubasa uncommon valhalla which way is up? winnow in thy abraxas

Monday, October 29, 2001... This morning we were supposed to start thinking up plots and conflicts for a group play we're going to write in English. I was saying that it's hard to come up with a good conflict, and then one of the girls in my group rolled her eyes at me and said, "Yeah, it must be hard for you when you don't have any conflicts in life." I want to go home already. ....tada sore dake//10:03 a.m. Sunday, October 28, 2001... np: White Destiny - Shin Shirayuki Hime Densetsu Pretear I'm doing all the CDs today if I can, so... Shannako, My-chan, and Bell-san, I'm burning the dramas as data so for Shannako and Bell-san especially there'll be a ton of free space; probably over 400mg for you two. I don't have much in the way of anime episodes though (last four episodes of Digimon02, first four episodes of Digimon Tamers, first four episodes of Flame of Recca, first three episodes of GALS!, last two episodes of Mahou Tsukai Tai! OVA, and lots of random episodes of Nadesico, Weiss, Utena Black Rose saga, and the two Kenshin episodes with Soujirou's past and last fight) , so if there's anything there or random songs on my playlist that any of you really want, tell me, because otherwise I'll just put songs and music videos/OP/ED sequences on there at random. ^^ In other news, the Bebop movie is slooooowly downloading, and I *need* the soundtrack for this movie. The vocals are greaaat, I especially like the song that Faye plays on the radio. XD ....tada sore dake//01:23 p.m. Sunday, October 28, 2001... =_= ... I predicted this would happen when 'Kaasan wouldn't promise not to wake me up today. At seven AM, I awoke to the happy sound of vaccumming. Right down my hall. Through my open door. In my room. Thanks, for reminding me that yet again, nobody gives a damn how I feel. (I was also yelled at for ruining everyone else's day with my bad mood. Five hours of sleep DOES that, and then she acts like it's MY fault that she vaccummed through MY ROOM and woke me up. >_<;) ....tada sore dake//12:47 p.m. Saturday, October 27, 2001... DAMN IT. I WANT FIFTEEN HOURS OF SLEEP. Of course I've been saying ALL WEEK that ALL! I! WANTED! was to sleep in this weekend, right?! DIDN'T I say that? I did! >_<;; I'm so exhausted in every way possible that all I want is to sleep all DAY. At eight AM this morning: "*shakeshakeshake* Get up. If I have to fly to PA this week, nobody'll have time to take you shopping for your play costumes." Well, that was a lovely way to start the morning. I was dragged all over to shop for the costumes, and Mr. Y BETTER like them because otherwise I. Will. SCREAM. I absolutely refuse to go shopping for more ugly, plain dresses that I'm not going to wear more than exactly six times anyway. (The good news is that I got four outfits for $35. Very good for the amount of times I'll be wearing them.) Speaking of the play, Gabi is going to kill Matt (usually referred to as The Idiot). Plays are hard enough work to put on and keep together with a hard-working, reasonably intelligent cast. But just one complete IDIOT ruins quite a lot. Why was it that I didn't get onstage on Friday? "Okay, Matt. I want you to walk AROUND where the sink will be next week, take OFF your jacket and hat, get a beer, and sit down." "Okay. *proceeds to walk THROUGH where the sink will be next week, gets a beer, and sits down*" "....NO, Matt, I want you to walk AROUND where the sink will be, take OFF your jacket and hat, get a beer, and THEN sit down." "Oh. Okay. *proceeds to walk THROUGH where the sink will be, get a beer, sits down, then hops up again to hang up his jacket*" "......" Repeat the process about seven more times until he finally gets it right. Add in the fact that he doesn't know any of his lines. Then add that any lines he knows are spoken in a whisper, with a big, stupid grin on his face. Said grin also is present in the angsty scene where Gabi is about to cry and ends up hitting him. (Gabi is most certainly taking out her frustrations on him in the scenes where she gets to hit him, but...well, he deserves it. =_=;) I'm...so...tired. I just want sleep; things would be so much better if I could face the day with over twelve hours, but no. Shannako, thank you muchly for the mail. Busy trying to download the Bebop movie in an effort to cheer myself up, but with my slow connection combined with the file size (about 600mb) it'll probably take a week or more to manage it. Sigh. ....tada sore dake//09:35 p.m. Friday, October 26, 2001..."You always lean on me and lean on me and make me tired..." I'm very tired... My mood swings were starting to scare even me today. I've just been a total bitch to several people this week, in a way that I was thinking, "No, forget this, I'm in too terrible of a mood to be nice," way... There's this girl who sits next to me in choral class (our seats are assigned) and she's the most terrible singer I've ever heard. She can't even hum on key, and when we sing she's usually about two octaves higher than what we've been told to sing. It annoys the hell out of me since I'm constantly fighting to sound half-decent (I'm not a great singer like a few of the girls in the class who sing at paid benefits and things, but I'm not bad, but since she throws me off-key along with her, doubtlessly everyone thinks I'm awful) and today I just got so frustrated, not just with that but with the week, that I wanted to just cry right there in the middle of class. I alternated the whole day between snapping at friends, to being nice to them, to avoiding them so I wouldn't end up being terrible to them. The day was terrible as a whole, even if it wasn't busy, and I'm sort of starting to scare myself a little bit. I went to play practice and once again wasn't needed in the least, got into the car and had 'Kaasan explode because she'd had a bad day, and so I got to be yelled at over it. We got home and Karen called, and... My grandmother was going to be taken out of intensive care, but everytime they try she destabilizes. She's having trouble breathing obviously due to her emphysema, and refused to be hooked up to a respirator again since she wanted to be able to talk, so they put her with a different machine that gauges how much you're breathing and forces the right amount of air down, and she wasn't happy at all about that and demanded to be taken off that too...and 'Kaasan told me that pretty much now everyone's waiting for her to go into cardiac arrest, and my grandmother said if that's what happens, then please don't try to resecitate her. 'Kaasan is a nervous wreck. She came in and cried, and then handed me my report card that came in the mail and left. How ridiculous. I got the best GPA I've ever gotten, because of my honors classes finally counting this year, and got a 4.167...and we're going out to 'celebrate'...to celebrate what? I'm really not anything right now. I'm tired, really. And I want a hug. ....tada sore dake//05:50 p.m. Thursday, October 25, 2001... np: the fourth avenue cafe - L'arc~en~ciel Noo~! X ficbunny~! And NOT a Setsuka-bunny. ...Setsuka...bunny...did I really just think that? >.>;; That would be disgustingly cute, actually. *_* ....tada sore dake//06:31 p.m. Thursday, October 25, 2001... np: kaze ni kienai de - L'arc~en~ciel Okay. I had a super day for the first time this week. The day was sunny, not a cloud in the sky, and the sky was so piercingly blue that I only wanted to stare at it, but it was so brilliant that I couldn't stare at it at all. And I just had to have a wonderful day, with a sky like that... O-kay now...Shannako, I need your address so I can send you your tape ne. (I feel like I'm supposed to send you something from me besides Les' stuff; was I supposed to and forgot? n_n;;;) My-chan, of course I meant it, so send me your address info whenever okay? X3 ...and while I scare me, and we scare me, sometimes Leslie's mom scares me the most. Leslie: And so, ultimate question- Seki Toshihiko, or Yamadera Kouichi? Leslie's mom: *sparkle* I can't ANSWER that! Because if I took their voices out on dates- Leslie: ...... O_O Leslie's mom: - then with Seki Toshihiko it would just be that THAT VOICE could tell me anything it wanted, and I would agree. *imitates* "You're pretty!" "Hai!" "No, you're ugly!" "Hai!" Leslie: ...... Leslie's mom: *sparkle* Whereas, the Yamadera Kouichi voice would just say, "Get into bed." "*leer* HAAAAAAAAI." Meimi: *being told this*........ O_O;;;; And I can be terribly fangirlish, but sometimes I feel saddenned, because I'm afraid I'll never catch up to Leslie's mom in my lifetime. ^^;;; ....tada sore dake//06:31 p.m. Wednesday, October 24, 2001... np: Yuzurenai Negai [accoustic] - Magic Knight Rayearth Day was once again tiring and not so happy, but it picked up at the end...ring ceremony went well. My ring is really pretty; it has a blue stone, is silver gold, has the designs for Japan and for the arts on either side, and my signature on the inside. I like it... I'm actually going to collapse into bed in a bit; I don't think I've really caught up on sleep completely. (Well, I was falling asleep in history class again, but the room was really hot and her lecture was incredibly boring, so...) I think tomorrow will be an improvement, though. Thank you to everyone who's made me feel better this week. I think I'll be much happier after tomorrow; today took care of ring ceremony stuff, and it turns out I don't need to stress too much over my lines for the play since I know them pretty decently (and know all of Amy's =_=)...I'm not, you know, super-genki or anything, but I think after I get the chance this weekend to rest, I'll be back to my old self. And on X this month, which made me extraordinarily happy...I don't know; I really wasn't weirded out by it at all. o_O It's CLAMP deshou....it's Subaru deshou. And that's...just SO...Subaru. ^^;;; I mean, swapping eyes with Sei-chan? That's...that's just...well, for Subaru and Sei-chan, that's really romantic at their level. Though it seems everytime one tries to show their affection, someone loses an eye. ^^;; CLAMP is actually not disappointing me right now; I'm suprised. And strangely, the last place I expected him to be was Sei-chan's house (what I want to know is how Subaru knew where it was)...with camellia flowers...why do I love Setsuka so much? Even before Sei-chan's sidestory, I liked her more than anyone should for such a minor character. I'm strange. Thought of the Day: Subaru and Fuuma, dressed up in scarves and hats with cute pompoms on the ends, going Christmas shopping. Singing a somewhat revised version of "Daisuke to Ken no Kaimono Carol". Shopping for both Kamui and Sei-chan and arguing over who buys what. And Fuuma keeps striking sexy poses and going, "BABY. Kurisumasu da ze." Ugh. Tired, though. Why isn't it the weekend yet. =_= I hate the way I feel. It's not like me. I don't like feeling this way at all. And I want the weekend to be here so I can laze around in bed for a full day and think about absolutely nothing. Sleep now... ....tada sore dake//10:18 p.m. Tuesday, October 23, 2001... np: Endless Rain - X-Japan Talked to Les...I was sort of happy. I sent her a mail last night; the kind I never send, and I called her today and she said she was planning to call me later on...I was happy, since Leslie has called me just for the sake of talking maybe twice in over a year (whereas I call her about three times a week)...she was worried about me. I was a little glad. People around me never really worry about me. I guess that's probably mostly my own fault- I guess everyone figures I take care of myself just fine, the way I am and the personality I have. That's usually true, but when I get tired of doing that, it's very lonely. And I feel very tired this week. It isn't like things aren't getting better, but nothing is over and I'm just exhausted dealing with everything at once. Home, school, homework, practices- tomorrow is going to be lots worse since I have no free, have to have all my lines in the play memorized, and then straight after practice I have ring ceremony (after which we have dinner)...I'm just tired. I fell asleep in history class today, had practice for the ring ceremony through lunch, and wanted to sleep during free but didn't manage it. I wasn't even needed at play practice, only got up on stage once to say four lines since Amy was sick (and while waiting to get onstage, I fell asleep backstage too). Then we got out early and 'Kaasan was late picking me up, leaving me out in the cold for over an hour. All in all, I'm tired. I want very badly to crawl into bed and stay there for a day or two. And just sleep. I need sleep. =_= Not that the day was all bad. Play practice was fun scenes to watch today. And Bell-san, thank you~~ I listened to the FB drama during my free today and it cheered me up immensely. But...in the drama...KOYASU plays Ayame?!! What a shock...I liked the little omake tracks, especially the first with Shigure talking about how wonderful the world of only sound is...really the whole thing was cute. Thank you~ will try to get your CDs in the mail soon. And Shannako, I looked through and I think Tatsuha kidnapped Yuki as revenge against Shuuichi, who badmouthed Ryuuichi. At least that's what the ransom note says. Am now going to sleep. So so tired. ....tada sore dake//10:55 p.m. Monday, October 22, 2001... np: Sobakasu - Rurouni Kenshin To everyone who mailed me or sent me kind words somehow- thank you all. I'm really okay at the moment- we were told this morning that the surgery went quite well, so 'Kaasan's staying here for the moment...my grandmother hasn't woken up yet, but we'll see what happens tomorrow. I wasn't in the best of moods today- try as I might, I couldn't keep my mind on studying last night, or on the test itself this morning. I glanced at the key afterwards, and I totally flunked it. That's okay. This is one time I'm not going to beat myself up over it; I did try to study and I really don't care. The rest of the day went okay, since after math I only had choral and art...Ali didn't really talk much to me today, and I didn't feel like telling her about the entire thing- I just don't do that much in general, and Ali is absolutely terrible at making me feel better when I'm upset about something..the two, maybe three times she's seen me really upset about something, she either runs off to find someone Good At That Sort Of Thing or stands there and stares at me completely helplessly. I didn't want to go through it (the last time something like that happened was, er, a little over a year ago and it ended up with me shrieking at her (standing there staring that time) to go AWAY so I could cry in peace, and she got all upset and depressed, and then I had to run after her =_=) if I really feel like talking to someone I will, but I really don't want to right at the moment. During our free (usually spent talking to each other) I curled up on the bench, turned on my CD player to listen to the Love Pleasure drama, and just sort of dozed since my sleeping hours were topsy-turvy after going to bed at four AM...Ali didn't press the issue; but then the only clue she got today was I told her I had an 'okay' day (my days are almost always "super" or "wonderful" or "genki genki"), but blah, I just feel like keeping to myself at the moment. I don't think that's so bad. Went off to play practice, and then came home... I'm pretty much feeling okay, though. It was an okay day. I'm not way genki, but I'm not depressive either. Just okay. Everyone who mailed me made me feel way better, too. ^_^ Also, Bell-san, got the CDs today- sankyu! Haven't had time to watch anything yet though, but I think this is quite a day that I wanted sparklies. I haven't had the time to rip the Love Pleasure drama, but when I do I'll get your CDs out in the mail too ne... Anyway, new layout. I'm not feeling like Haru today at all o_O and I've actually wanted to do this layout for a bit. Begin manga plug again! The layout is from Nervous Venus, which, I am convinced, is just the ultimate manga masterpiece in way of story and characters. I have no idea how Amie went bankrupt or whatever with Clover and NV running together. Unfortunately NV isn't well-known at all. Very sad. I think it might be the best manga I've ever read all-around; if it's not the best it's way close. It's just a very...shockingly human story. It's about romance, but one of those that isn't really a "love story". That would probably be an insult to the story, really. It centers around a girl as she is forced to go on living in a world she now considers godless. The basic plot of it all begins in the setup- Haru is a tomboy teenage girl in the swimming club at her school, and good friends with a boy named Aki. Aki is charming, funny, and well-liked by everyone- and also a record-breaking swimmer admired by the entire club. He begins to spend a lot of time with Haru, sharing his dreams and secrets with her, and the two become close. One day Aki drags Haru outside before class, out to underneath the pool, and he produces two cigarettes; saying, "I've always wanted to smoke one, just once." Haru yells at him, but in the end they both light up, only to both collapse in coughing fits. "They let you have one last smoke when you're sentenced to die, right?" Aki says out of the blue. Haru wonders at it, but the two talk a little more about tomorrow- it's Haru's birthday and she thinks he's talking about that, but really Aki was just excited about how he was going to go for a ride with a senpai who just got his driver's license. Then the two realize they're way late for class, but before they run off, Aki holds up his cigarette: "Keep 'this' a secret from everyone else, okay?" He moves up to her, their faces very close. "We're partners in crime." He runs off ahead, yelling, "See you tomorr- no, I mean see you later today, today!" She laughs, thinking that they're both ni the same class anyway... The next day, Haru picks up the phone with her classmate on the other end of the line. "Aki. He's dead. "...there was an accident...the car they were in went over the guardrail and into the ocean..." There were others in the car, but only Aki's body remains missing. They have the funeral with an empty coffin- Haru is shaken by this, but she manages to keep on smiling even so...till her classmate tells her: "I wasn't sure if I should tell you, but I'm gonna- Sekiya, he was gonna tell you he loved you that day. He wanted to tell you on your birthday." Haru, after that, simply breaks down, realizing how much she loved Aki as well...and the rest of the story is simply about Haru trying to go on with her life- she manages to get by until she meets a guy named Seki, who discovers her the first day of high school smoking a cigrette alone on the steps and crying her eyes out. Seki falls in love with her on the spot, and the rest of the manga is about Seki learning about Haru, who completely rejects him- she doesn't let anybody near her anymore and doesn't trust anyone, but Seki's aura is very much like that of Aki's, and for that reason Haru tries to distance him farther than anyone else...meanwhile, everybody else in the cast has their own share of angst and dark pasts. But it's just a really good manga. The definitely underlying mood of it is completely depressing, but on the top surface it's really amusing. Rather, Seki himself is quite funny, and the manga is hilarious when he gets near his best friend, Kanda. The two pretend they're gay and in the pure spirit of good fun, are trying to rip each other's clothes off in loud, public displays of affection several times a chapter. ^^; And that was my random manga plug for the day. Yayness. ^^; ....tada sore dake//09:49 p.m. Sunday, October 21, 2001... np: cloudy with occasional rain - Serial Experiments Lain My-chan, it helps. Thank you. *hug* I was feeling a little guilty for not dealing with it yet, but...you made me feel better. I'm very tired. We stayed up until four AM yesterday, and I got up with Les-tachi at eight to see them off...then spent some time with 'Kaasan as she tried to talk to my grandmother but couldn't get through to the room...then wandered off to watch Shannako's tape Leslie left me to mail. (Quick reaction to the 02 movie: That was short and not as good as I expected. The bit where Daisuke touched Ken's cheek was undeniably lovely, as was the ending sequence with the waffy pictures. Also, despite the fact they weren't in the movie much, I was somehow getting strong Taichi/Yamato/Sora vibes that I haven't gotten before...oh, and: Jyou: *comes up to Ken and Daisuke on bike* Kore, tsukatte! Daisuke: Senpai...ore-tachi...futari nan desu kedo... And I thought they'd ride together on it with, you know, sparklies- but to no avail. =_=) Then sat around downstairs again...finally got through to the hospital room, and I spoke to my grandmother. Sort of. She couldn't speak very well and her voice was raspy, and I didn't understand everything she said to me. 'Kaasan talked to everyone, and told me that they're moving her to the other, better hospital, and they'll operate on her tomorrow. After that...I fell asleep. For the rest of the day. I just basically had eight hours of sleep, and it's only eleven PM...that's okay, since I have studying I need to do. I'm going to flunk math analysis test, I'm sure. I need to go study after this- it's really the last thing I want to do at the moment. I'm in desperate need of mind-numbing tasks. The whole household is just...really tense right now. 'Kaasan is going to work tomorrow, but I think she's not only given up, but she's also convinced herself that the only one who'll be able to take care of a funeral is her. She's going to work tomorrow, and at the moment I think she's almost decided that she's going to leave Tuesday. She'll be going alone, since she says it's scary enough to fly these days without both of us going. Plus, she says, she plans to stay about a week or more, and I have school, play practice, and of all things, junior ring ceremony on Wednesday. So I stay, 'Kaasan says. I don't know. I think it would...just really upset my grandmother if everyone gave up on her right at the beginning. Which is what everyone's doing. I'm not really sure how I want to deal with this right now. I'm either calm or numb, and I'm not really sure which, though I figure I'll find out sooner or later. And this is much worse for 'Kaasan than it is for anyone else, so it's really more important for me to worry about her now since she doesn't worry about herself. But since I'm so amazingly far-away from it all, and will stay as so, it doesn't really seem real at all. And for the moment, that's okay. ....tada sore dake//11:28 p.m.