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Meimi is a sixteen year old fangirl. Her soul is owned by the evil mangaka CLAMP. She likes to draw, play go, and read manga. AIM KSaintTail Sparkles friends, yaoi, art Waaah night class, driving, art class links? allegretto applesauce atashi.blog aqua stranger basic black cat's delicacy chicken scratch chiratsuku clamp eyes den of otakudom disintegration dreams of sakura eyes unclouded faded memories freetalk fuuma's shoes Øgravity green tea ice cream headphones save lives illegible scribbles inner quiet kaijuu ga iru kudaranai lime rain logic and chaos one dimensional paint it black pensieve perpetual discontent technomancy the bishounen diaries the letters from no one tokyo darling tsubasa uncommon valhalla which way is up? bell jin sarah shi-chan mine? strawberrymoon.net maybe tomorrow strawberry moon winter fall archives playlist fanfiction pitas or? CLAMP-NET CLAMPesque Anime Expo Fanime LotR.net Yahoo!Games The current layout features (yet again) Subaru and Seishirou from X. Sucky CG by me. Absolutely all Les' fault. The song really has nothing to do with those two, blame her for making a mix CD devoted to gay omake. The Best Deceptions (dashboard confessional) I heard about your trip. I heard about your souveniers. I heard about the cool breeze and the cool nights and the cool guys that you spent them with Well I guess I should have heard of them from you I guess I should have heard of them from you Well don't you see, don't you see That the charade is over? And all the "best deceptions" And the "clever cover story" awards go to you So kiss me hard 'Cause this will be the last time that I let you You will be back someday And this awkward kiss that tells of other people's lips will be of service to keeping you away I heard about your regrets. I heard that you were feeling sorry. I heard from someone that you wish you could set things right between us Well I guess I should have heard of that from you I guess I should have heard of that from you Well don't you see, don't you see That the charade is over? And all the "best deceptions" And the "clever cover story" awards go to you So kiss me hard 'Cause this will be the last time that I let you You will be back someday And this awkward kiss that screams of other people's lips Will be of service to keeping you away... to keeping you away... I'm waiting for blood to flow to my fingers I'll be all right when my hands get warm Ignoring the phone I'd rather say nothing I'd rather you never heard my voice You're calling too late too late to be gracious and you do not warrant long goodbyes. You're calling too late... You're calling too late....    |
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I hope all of you are PROUD of yourselves. *glares* You know who you are. I have no words. And I think Hikago has been ruined forever. Les: *thuds* ...go...sexual... Les: ...so, hey, would that make Mitani a prostitute? Meimi: *THUD* Les: And Akira some kind of nymphomaniac? Les: And Waya and Isumi and the go stones a menage e trois? Meimi: And Sai a seriously disturbed sex-starved go addict? Les: Hmmm...probably. Teaching Hikaru the lustful, passionate ways of the boardgameplayer-of-the-night. Meimi: Somehow...Sai's blue lipstick disturbs me more than before. Les: Yeah...do you think they stained the Go stones blue in the hey-days? What was HE sucking on? Or...blacks in fabrics can sometimes make things blue...maybe that applies to Go stones as well. Les: Yech, pervert. Meimi: Does this make Kaga, what, bi-boardgame-sexual? Les: Or a transgameite? Meimi: And Touya Meijin - no nevermind not going there. Les: The Pimpin' Go King!!! Meimi: *THUDS* (It went on. Like "go is the seme because it dominates all their lives!" and many, many worse things. Things I will not post here because they're that horrible. After three hours of Buffy and then a discussion on Subaru being Alanis Morisette, my head is throbbing. And I will never, ever be able to take Hikago seriously EVER AGAIN. And we're STILL GOING ON about this. Many worse things. Horrible, horrible things.) Jin and Bell and Ingrid: THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. I will NEVER watch a Hikago match AGAIN with a straight face. I'm going to wake up tomorrow and stare at this entry and just go WHAT THE *HELL*, I know I am. calling too late @ 09:20 p.m. Nnn...three and a half Buffy episodes in one sitting. Too much. That DVD box is seriously overwhelming. *thuds* Six discs is too many. TOO. MANY. Nevermind that I've seen nine episodes already, I'm rewatching all of them but two in this marathon (Inca Mummy Girl and I Only Have Eyes For You, because they sucked). Current opinions: -I liked Willow in seasons 1-3. She was cute and geeky and wore awful clothes. I miss that - once season four hit she got so sickeningly self-absorbed. Buffy rubbing off on her? -To my horror, I am understanding why people like Angel/Buffy so much. This is bad, because I hate Angel with a burning passion. Spike's Anne Rice comment in episode three floored me. -The lame soap opera antics of the early seasons really entertain me. Oz likes Willow likes Xander likes Buffy likes Angel. -Of all six seasons, Spike is the only character that continuously makes the show worth it. Other characters' brilliance fades in and out or they just come and go, but he's been great all the way through. XD Also cannot believe this show is so campy that Spike's very first Evil Plan is to storm Parent-Teacher Night at the high school. -Oz may usually only have one line an episode, but it's always the best line. Always. -Oz and Willow are the cutest thing in the entire world. -Dru and Spike are...cute...? in a really creepy, bloody, violent kind of way? XD Well, I think the word I've heard for those two was "magical". That's a good word. I like the gentle piano theme that plays in their scenes. Heee. I like this show far too much. calling too late @ 09:20 p.m. np: Never is a Promise - Fiona Apple D.N.Angel is being animated. Alica is lending me the Buffy season two DVD set. Oh yes. Twenty-two episodes. Of Spike. And Dru. I don't think I need to say more. This has been a very, very good day. Except for when I woke up, stumbled to the computer to watch the AMV I'd downloaded, and found it was all made from the second episode of Seisouhen. Which I hadn't watched, because the first episode was QUITE enough of Kaoru's fever dreams thank you very much. I guess the video was nice, but I was too busy banging my head against my desk to notice. Also, this Wednesday, all the seniors have to make lists of what causes stress in our lives. Then we're going to have a big fun class group therapy session about stress reduction. Says my class: "Are they reducing school hours, then?" I hate how my school wastes our time - we could have gone home early, but nooo... =_= We have to talk about STRESS REDUCTION. Like school cares about our stress. calling too late @ 01:12 p.m. np: Superman - Five For Fighting AMV.org was having Ish last I checked, but once its search gets back up, EVERYONE has to go download the video "Supervan" from Escaflowne TV. Because it is sparkly-wonderful, and set to this song, and it is a SIIIN that this video didn't win the drama catagory at Fanime last year. I think some crappy Gundam Wing video beat it out, and I almost strangled Ali for clapping for the GW one because this video made me just overcome with Van-rabu. And has every really great scene in Esca. Week after Fanime I marathoned the series because this video had me sparkling so much in its aftermath. Seriously. After watching the video three times in a row, I can say that if I didn't have school tomorrow, I'd be downstairs with Esca tapes in the VCR. From episode one clear on to the end, thank you. Screeching with fangirl glee over Van being such a stupidly adorable boy. As it is, it took remarkable willpower to shut down the video window after watching it five times in a row. Ingrid, I somewhat doubt that Hikaru's brains are spicy. And now let me add to my list below, number four: because the idea of Akira in a dress just horrifies me, while Ken is cute in one. calling too late @ 11:50 p.m. np: Furuba episodes marathoning Hee hee. I love Furuba. I haven't watched the anime in aaaages...so I've been watching the episodes I don't have manga for... *dies at onsen episode* YUKI. Yuki yuki yuki. So princely. So girly. So...huggable. WHY am I the ONLY one who likes Yuki?!! Besides Bell. And maybe a few other people. I can't understand it. Poor Yuki. Also watched Monsters Inc DVD. That's the cutest movie ever. I love Pixar films with a passion...it isn't really the animation itself, it's just that I think their movies are so touching and heartwarming, in a way that I think Disney themselves has failed in recent years (though I heard Lilo and Stitch was excellent, I unfortunately didn't see it, so). They're witty and funny and cute and inventive, but their movies just have those moments when you just want to smile through tears. Yes, I'm aware I'm a sap, but Toy Story is one of my favorite movies ever. My entire family groaned and muttered when I insisted watching it the last time it popped up on TV. I'm sure they thought I was utterly ridiculous for having to hold back tears at one or two points...but I don't know. I'm wildly interested in film production; I think it must be the best job in the world to bring cute movies like that to life, and make them emotional yet clever enough that it's still popular for all ages. I'd kind of like to work on that kind of thing someday. Kismet, thank you~! Of couse I read your pitas... ^^; I'm glad you liked it~ but I don't have the next script quite yet so anyone who wants to bother me will have to be patient too ^^;; Lisa, but I don't really like Akira/Hikaru pairing... ^^;; My not liking it is just sick and wrong, because... Meimi: Oh, I figured out why so many fangirls I know like AkiraxHikaru so much. Les: Why, besides the obvious "I think of you every moment and I want to 'beat' you and I won't be satisfied till you 'resign'" thing? Meimi Um...more like... Me: Why...? SCARY! OBSESSIVE! *thinks* Hikaru: Genki shounen hero! Akira: Angsty obsessive genius kid who dresses very gay! Me: ......come to think of it, don't all the other fangirls who love them like DaisukexKen...? Meimi: ...and as soon as I saw Waya I thought TAICHI! so now I want to draw fanart of them in Digimon outfits. Les: *THUD* OMG, it suddenly makes SO MUCH SENSE! But then who's Isumi? Meimi: He has to be Yamato by default. Les: Of course. That's still...really... creepily...weird. Meimi: I know. Then I had to try and figure out why I don't like Hikaru and Akira together when I love Daisuke and Ken more than anything in the WORLD almost, and came up with: 1. they don't even like each other. 2. Ken may dress very gay, but at least his school uniform is nice. Akira's is not. 3. Ken is prettier and has more angst. That's it. And I want to draw Hikaru in goggles. Les: He doesn't have Big Hair though. And also, when you get right down to it, Akira is a pansy. At least Ken was thoughtful and domineering and would GRAB Daisuke and RIDE that boy down the hill, and in as much of Akira as I've seen, the most he's done is grab his wrist and drag him off to play Go. Meimi: *thuds* That too. calling too late @ 11:40 p.m. np: Moonlight Densetsu - Sailormoon Glad you like. XD May I add that I don't just love Les because she's a great friend, or because she's always there to listen, or just because she's such a wonderful person. I also love her because she's writing Wayasumi fic. Even if it won't be smut as she originally promised. Les: Actually rather amazing; considering how CUTE they are, you'd think more people would write for them. . .what about Japanese fanfics? I mean, you already found CHIBI SMUT pics, surely someone has done fanfiction. . .and I'd think your Japanese good enough to understand most of it. . . Meimi: Hmm...I actually don't look that hard at Japanese fanfic. It's no different from English fic in that most of it sucks, but the problem is I get bored staring at kanji for so long so it has to be simple and boring enough for me to understand it quickly and finish it quickly. And besides...*sniff* I'm sure I can't read Japanese smutfic because I don't know the right kind of kanji for that sort of thing, more's the pity. Les: *blinks* Oooo, I know what to get YOU for your birthday now. . . Meimi: ........that awful book we found in Kino that told all the Japanese words you need to get through sex? Les: heeheee. . .I'm sure I can find something much worse. . . Meimi: ......I'm sure you can. I'm afraid. ......do they MAKE gay kanji dictionaries? Les: *evilly* I'll make a point to look for one. . . calling too late @ 02:20 p.m. Sitting in language lab bored. I left my workbook at school, so I can't do any of this week's work. Ah well. I got a little ahead instead. Studied hard today, felt much better and smarter, then drew fanart. *heart* Hajimete Copic ni fusawashii e wo kaita ki ga suru. Must scan later. calling too late @ 09:25 p.m. np: I'll be the One - HAL Um...decided if I went to school today, I would go crazy. So I'm home, studying for chem as well as I can. Blah. My life is getting so stressful and boring. calling too late @ 10:34 a.m. Mmmkay, so I didn't study this block. Um. So, note to self: if I'm reading this later today, I should DAMN WELL BE STUDYING, OKAY. STUDY. ING. Grr... calling too late @ 09:52 a.m. np: Open Up Your Mind - Mirai Hmhm, already hate this layout....what was I thinking...? Oh well. At least the amount of emphasis on eyeballs is nice, although unintentional on my part. Am being slowly driven insane. Will be spending the next few days studying until I lose my mind. Fairly sure I'm already doomed to fail chemistry - I hate it when teachers are just like, "well, just study everything"...I can do that sometimes, but not when you're deciding to test us on FOUR CHAPTERS at ONCE... (Kinda sorta haven't really read the chapters. Only skimmed. Did finish vocabulary, but I think I have at least fifty more review problems to do at minimum - a zillion more were assigned, but they repeat themselves anyway...) And I have mentioned that I need to know twenty-five amendments tomorrow, right. No, I haven't looked at them. Like, at all. Ugh. calling too late @ 12:13 a.m. I'm smiling. It's midnight. Tomorrow I have a chemistry quiz first thing on lab safety procedures. Pretty much just common sense, so it should be okay, oh well. Then I have /both/ play practice (blocking first scene) and Japanese class. First time this has ever happened, it will be absolutely killer. Wednesday I have a government test. Have to memorize twenty-five amendments to the constitution. Usually our teacher is REALLY NICE about not having us memorize things, but c'mon, all twenty-five at once plus all the rest of the test material? That's harsh. To top off the week, on Thursday I have a chem test. I have not read very much of the three chapters the test is on. I have not done the vocabulary work. I have not done any of the homework, and there must be over a hundred problems and questions assigned. Now none of that homework counts for a grade or gets turned in, but I don't know any of the material perfectly so I really ought to do it. This weekend is the last before ACTs. I need to check the test format, and also finish my SAT study book. I have just spent the last few hours of my life talking with Les, and I feel wonderful, and I am smiling, and I really do not care about any of the above. I know I don't really need to worry about anything except memorizing ammendments and the chem, but right now... I'm just happy. calling too late @ 11:57 p.m. I love Les more than anyone else in the entire world. I feel perfect now after talking to her for only thirty seconds and the promise of talking to her later tonight. She said if I send her a picture of my art teacher, she'll pin it to her target during her archery class this week. That's just real friendship, y'know? It doesn't get better than that. calling too late @ 06:56 p.m. np: The Real Folk Blues - Cowboy Bebop Okay, now onto the fun I've had recently. I finally nabbed my Karekano DVD. Oooooh. Everytime I see that show, I'm addicted all over again. I seriously just bounce up and down, squeak out loud, "too cuuuuuuuute!" and sit staring at the screen with a huge grin on my face. The Right Stuf has delayed the second DVD to December. ARGH. But at least they gave us six sparkly episodes. So that was what I spent my weekend doing. I also watched the Inuyasha dub on CN. CN's dubs are only decent because they don't have the time it takes to effectively ruin a show like other dubbing companies do. No real complaints: they kept the music, they didn't cut a thing, the translation is pretty much flawless, how can I really complain? Sure, I'm not wild about the voices, but I can honestly say that I probably couldn't have casted it better...it's just that Inuyasha being anyone except Kappei seems sick and wrong. ^^ I also got my mother to spoil me (well, not exactly, she was kind of paying me off for not being as bratty as I wanted to be) at the art supply store. I played with charcoal yesterday. It was fun, though of course practice sheet was bad. Is okay, will work hard on charcoal by night and do crappy tempra paint project by day. Also got a new sketchpad. calling too late @ 07:00 a.m. ... ... =_= I got home on Friday, John told me "whatever it is, it's not worth it, so just pretend you're not mad at your mother and we'll have a pleasant weekend". I did exactly that, although after yet ANOTHER bitching out from my art teacher in front of my /ENTIRE/ class and the whole morning episode, I didn't particularly want to. This morning my mother gave me a greeting card about how it's great I'm growing up and finally seeing it her way (not exactly in those words, but that's what it meant). I'm still mad at her, I'm just choosing not to show it because I don't have the time or energy to devote to an arguement with her anymore. I also had the worst anxiety attack I've ever had on Friday night when I finally sat down and stopped for the first time. Yeah, big suprise, I know... I had my first near-accident this weekend on the road. Fuck. Some moron, in the same moment I turned my head from checking my blind spot to move over into the next lane, moved right into my blind spot, either he was speeding and pulled in lightning-fast or there was no blinker, because I didn't see that car ANYWHERE and neither did either of my parents who were watching me. I was so sick last night that I didn't want to go to school today. Felt even more so when I woke up from a nightmare at six-fifteen. Usually I don't remember my nightmares, or they're very hazy, but this one was very vivid. Something with claws and teeth bigger than its head was digging into my leg, and even when I woke up, I was too scared to move because I swore I could still feel that weight on my leg. But I'm too busy to stay home from school, which is precisely why I want to stay home, but. I think that's about it for "crap I've gone through this weekend". On with the usual program, thanks everyone who's been so nice to me~ calling too late @ 06:29 a.m. Oh shit, now the computer lost my entry, THANK YOU. So after that little episode yesterday, when I got into the car I started telling my mom about it, and yes, I was yelling because I was MAD. She does the same thing when she's had a bad day, but apparently it's not okay for me to do this because that means I'm taking everything out on HER. She offered to go in and scream at my art teacher, but I kept saying no, because this is the kind of teacher who would hold a grudge when it came to report cards. I went to night class, was bored out of my mind as we conjugated verbs and reviewed the days of the week. Got into the car to go home, and am greeted with, "You're grounded." Oh, goody. Fabulous way to top off my day. My week, even. I had forgotten to turn on my cell and for that I'm grounded till Monday. I got home and cried. And cried. And cried some more. I sat in the bathroom for an hour and a half and cried like crazy, and then ran into my bedroom and cried until I fell asleep. I'm sorry, I can't keep on going like this. I can't go to school and try out for the play and handle that kind of disappointment. I can't go to art class and be screamed at. I can't go to Japanese class for three hours and be bored out of my mind. I could maybe do all those three and get over it, but I CAN NOT COME HOME, after a day, a week like that, AND BE SCREAMED AT. I just can't. Then my mom yelled at me all the way to school, because I wasn't talking to her since I'd only say some biting remark. She's an absolute idiot. She thought I was mad at her for grounding me. THAT was not why I was mad, I was mad and upset because I am going ab-so-fucking-lutely INSANE and she refuses to understand and instead has to contribute to making my life hell. I'm sorry, I'm not the type of person who has self-confidence issues, but I can't be told by the world in a week, "you suck" from the drama department, "you suck" from the art department, and "you suck" from my mother. I. CAN'T. DO. IT. When I woke up this morning I looked awful. I had the kind of face you see in movies from people who woke up after crying. My eyes were swollen and I had huge bags underneath them. I didn't want to go to school, but my mom and John took today off to be together and I had been told specifically that it was also a vacation from me (thanks, mom), so I didn't want to ruin their day and I came to school. Even though absolutely nothing good can happen to cheer me up, because thanks, I'm just too far gone now. Did I mention my mother ranting to me all the way to school, about how I'm such an ungrateful brat and how I never consider how hard her life is and why should she even bother with me? (She thought I was mad at her because she grounded me. How ridiculous. I don't care about that. I'll work on art projects and college apps this weekend, I'll live. I'm mad because she made everything worse, and now she switches everything around and makes it all about HER. I'M the ungrateful brat, I don't APPRECIATE her, I'M not worth her trouble, I'M irresponsible, I'M taking out everything on her, I'M making her the bad guy and how dare I...) Mostly, I just really want a hug, but I'm not going to be getting that anytime soon. And I'm going to have to go home and apologize to my mother for being such a horrible child and beg her forgiveness. I'm really not up to that. And I shouldn't have come to school today, because all I want to do is cry. So. See everyone again on Monday. *snort* Hopefully life will be improved, though I doubt. calling too late @ 09:39 a.m. |