Sunday, June 23, 2002 I've tried sleeping for three hours, I've read, I've tossed, I've turned: and thus, I'm up. Had large Talk Bordering On Fight with 'Kaasan today. Yeah, she did what I thought she'd do all along: she set me up with the art school idea. What the fuck makes her do these things; what posesses her to press that art school brochure into my hand if she's going to say no? She told me flat-out that I'm not going to any art school, screw what I want, she's paying for college so I'm not getting a say except for Where I Want To Go OTHER Than The Places I Want To Go That She Says NO To (and of course I'm supposed to figure out what that place is in about a week so we can visit it). So typical. That doesn't mean I've given up; I'll apply to a few on my own. If I don't get in, fine, if I do then I either have the opportunity to attempt to change her mind, or I can blame her for the rest of my life about screwing everything up. Why do parents feed you all that crap about You Can Do Anything You Want and We'll Support You if it doesn't mean anything when it comes time to deliver? What the hell is WRONG with her? I told her, what, a week ago when she objected, that I was determined to apply to art schools and she agreed with me and said I was absolutely right, I should try! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO INTERPRET THAT INTO, "No way in hell you're going"?!! And she says, "I said from the beginning that I didn't want you to go!" and asked where I'm getting these crazy ideas from and why I can't comprehend that no means no? Yeah, sure, at the beginning you said no; like months and months ago? And then you say yes, and then you say no again, and then you say work your heart out and apply, and then it's Well, I Support You In Anyt- Uh, I Mean, I Support You To A Certain Degree But Not In This. Of course this was only about 1/10 of the argument. Anything like this must also degenerate into my being a spoiled brat, and not being pretty or thin enough (sure it's true; I'm not pretty and I'm not thin, but don't say I've spent three weeks of vacation lazing around stuffing my face; I've lost like four or five pounds since vacation started), and having a bunch of useless interests that will get me absolutely nowhere in life, and how the fact that we don't get along and I'm unhappy is all my fault. But then, you know, once we get into the part where we're supposed to make up, then suddenly the art skills that were shitty and underdeveloped five minutes ago make me a fucking gifted human being, and the spoiled, bratty bitch of a daughter she was upset about ten minutes ago is just this fabulous gift from heaven above... Don't talk to me like this. Don't tell me one thing half the time and switch to the opposite the other half. I'm more inclined to believe the bad than the good; it's the bad that's the truth coming out when you're upset. But above all, don't tell me that the reason I feel unloved and how I don't fit in, is all my fault. It may be 99% mine. I may be that spoiled, bratty bitch, and I won't deny any of it. I'm not great, or special, or even especially nice, and I'll be the first to say so- well, no, maybe you'd be the first. But you pick up your one percent; if you're going to say all that crap about me then it's not all me. Don't keep yelling at me until you find a way to escape all the blame for reasons why the two of us don't get along...I just can't believe it's completely my fault when you're talking to me like this... Yeah. I don't think I'm sleeping tonight. watashi anata dakishimeru yo @ 03:54 a.m. Saturday, June 22, 2002 *much fufufufufu-ing* I feel so proud of myself when I figure out seiyuu kanji in credits. I mean, some I know right off-hand; everyone can catch Koyasu or Seki's name, deshou. But since I really wanted to figure out the seiyuu to some Hikago characters I didn't know already, I just made one or two kanji-related guesses and was right. *cackles* Isumi is Suzumura Ken'ichi (of Kamui fame), and Nase is Enomoto Atsuko (Misaki, Yukino). I'm aware that I need a life, but really, at least I get to use all this seemingly useless knowledge I've accumulated for my own benefit deshou. ^^ watashi anata dakishimeru yo @ 11:27 p.m. Saturday, June 22, 2002 Hah. Finally got the hidden scenes on the HP DVD to surface. That bit with the keys was cruel though. *grumble* If not for the extended Potions classroom scene (*SHRIEKS with glee* XD), I wouldn't have considered it worth the effort since everything else was painfully short. A lot of those scenes cleared up a lot of things I thought were poorly done with the movie though, and I wish they'd just had a version on the DVD with them inserted into the movie. The scene on the subway with Hagrid seemed rather nice, especially since later in the movie when Harry explains that Hagrid said he wanted a dragon when they first met, I blinked, "Did he really?"...I frankly thought that the scene after the troll was beaten was almost necessary to be in the original cut. And what's with Seamus getting so much time in the movie? I've only read the first book a few times, but I don't remember him ever having a problem with blowing things up; or doing much of anything at all, really. Blah. Not to mention the bits to find the fricking hidden scenes (the potions combinations from class, the right jar to get through the fire) weren't even in the movie, or in the case of potions, the solution was in a cut scene. (Meimi: "*after getting sent back to the beginning for the tenth time* MOOOM~! WHERE'S OUR COPY OF YEAR ONE?!" "..somewhere in the garage." "...") And shame on me; I watched the movie for the fourth time tonight and didn't realize till now that they'd completely gotten rid of Peeves. But all in all, it's a good movie. If I had my way, it would have been an hour longer, of course. But it's not bad. After my initial rage from this part and that part not being in the movie or not exactly like I envisioned...I think I've liked the movie better each time I watched it. And that kid who plays Ron is perfect. Perfect. In the earlier books, my favorite character was Hermione - I think the HP characters' best strength is that there is almost always the kid that you were when you were younger, always that one kid you see yourself in. I was such a Hermione-ish brat when I was younger. :D After GoF, I liked Ron best because I could really sympathize with him, but those two are my favorites. watashi anata dakishimeru yo @ 10:00 p.m. Friday, June 21, 2002 np: I'll be the One - Hikaru no Go Thanks so much~! Feedback makes me all shimmery. As for the similarities with the hair, I actually did that on purpose (like a "mirror image" thing) but didn't realize it would take away impact...thanks a lot for saying so. I think Toshi's hair will be styled differently in later chapters though, so that should help. You know what feels absolutely miserable? When you spend hours editing away in Photoshop, making a spiffy image, setting up a whole layout around it, going through the pain of coding it, and...you stare at the finished product of hours of effort and... You hate it. *pout* watashi anata dakishimeru yo @ 10:16 p.m. Thursday, June 20, 2002 Blaaaah. So today, I realize! I've been planning on getting ready for vacation, yes? Because everyone in my family is set to go on "Saturday"!! Uh, try next Saturday. Why doesn't everyone just say next Saturday, and not talk like we're leaving this week? Obviously I'm being rather boring lately; I haven't really much to do. My eyesight is really terrible now, though, and it's preventing me from doing a lot of things I want to do. Ordinarily, eye exams tell me that my eyesight has worsened without my noticing, but these past few weeks I realized that I couldn't see well anymore at all. I can't read the oven clock while sitting on the sofa. During my driving lessons I kept being told to read signs aloud as we drove, and I couldn't make them out until it was too late for them to be of use. Now it's at the point where I have a constant headache due to my glasses causing more trouble than they're worth. I finished reading "Interview" tonight with them off, and I'm typing blind right now since my head hurts. Luckily I have an appointment on Monday (I don't think I've gotten a new prescription in two or three years; previously I always required a new one for each annual visit, so... =_=), and I'm going back to contacts so that will hopefully help and be better for me. But till then, reading, drawing, and heavy computer work are all in small amountsout...leaving me without many other things to do while lazying around the house all summer, obviously. XD watashi anata dakishimeru yo @ 11:31 p.m. Thursday, June 20, 2002 MEIMI'S SOLUTION TO CREEPY DRIVING INSTRUCTORS! ...iiiiiis shut out every single word he says! Trust me, if you're really doing something wrong, the creepy instructor will either grab the wheel or floor the intructor's brake. It's much more relaxing if you tune him out and pay attention to the road, and safer because it does away with nervousness. So that's over and done with. I actually had a spectacular time today because I convinced him to go to a safer part of the area, and he showed up really late so rush hour traffic was over with. Freeway driving isn't as scary when there's barely anyone around you, so I was much more relaxed and happy...then I got home and drove my family to McDonald's. I still did everything wrong (minor things mostly due to never driving my car before, not car wreck-inducing mistakes), and my mom was yelling directions the whole ride, but it's okay since it's only my fourth day. But aaaugh I have to take pictures for class tomorrow and develop film. O_O So no sleeping in super-late, I guess? But I've been up finishing online go tutorials. Fun, fun. I was checking prices on go sets before I realized...there's absolutely no point in buying one, because nobody I know really plays (and I absolutely, 100% suck at it so I don't even think I could win by playing against myself XD). Ali and Les do a bit, but Les has her own board so it doesn't really matter, I guess. I'd be better off playing games on the net and spending the money on manga and art supplies. XD Oh, and though my soul belongs to CLAMP, whatever's left has gone to Hikago. I was poking around the net trying to find cheap prices on the manga, since I doubt I'll be seeing Mitsuwa for at least a month, if not more. Iyan, haven't been since Fanime. watashi anata dakishimeru yo @ 02:09 a.m. Tuesday, June 18, 2002 I'm exhausted. This was the last day I have to do both driver training and photography class back-to-back though...I actually typed up my whole adventure with the first driving lesson, but my computer ate it, so forget it since it's an extremely long story, and entertaining to all except those involved. Suffice to say that my driving instructor, once the instructor of Aniki, is creepy, scary, I think he has some kind of...mental illness...and Aniki, several years ago, was convinced that Tom (the instructor) was going to shove him into the car, pull away with tires screeching, and drive away to an SF home where he would molest my brother. I do not exaggerate; the guy is that creepy. But his overall creepyness aside, I was terrified of going on the freeway and FUCK him he would NOT SHUT HIS MOUTH and all he did was make me even more scared. Ever since the first lesson he had absolutely no consideration for the fact that I've never driven on the road before. It was like, okay, here are keys (keys, yes keys keys, yes keys), so drive NO YOU STUPID GIRL YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG. Uh, like that, only in a nasal squeaky voice and repeating every sentence fragment four to five times. So today was highway, and I was SCARED TO DEATH because the drivers all over the area are FUCKING INSANE. Whenever driving with my mom, it doesn't seem possible to get from point A to point B without a near scrape. And of course he does this for a living, so I guess terrified girls who've never hit sixty mph before are no big thing, but every moment on the freeway I was this close to snapping mentally. Between being terrified of going so quickly, trying to watch in all the directions he was pointing at, trying not to be creeped out by him, trying to figure out how to keep the speed limit during five o'clock traffic (ooo good time for learning how to drive on freeway yes?), and being scared of driving for the second time on the road at all...I was gripping the wheel so tightly that my knuckles were white, and I felt on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Maybe I'm being stupid? I don't know. But I came home on Monday afternoon feeling like I was about to burst into tears, and the rest of my family was making fun of me. Then today I was begging someone to come with me so I wouldn't be so scared of being in the car with creepy creepy Tom, but everyone was either busy, or... Meimi: *on the verge of tears* PLEASE?! Aniki: You aren't getting me in a car with that guy again. EVER. I don't really blame him, but all the same it made me feel miserable. 'Kaasan's coming with me tomorrow though, which makes me feel better...but we're also going to drive in the most fricking dangerous place in the area, damnit... I'm so stressed and exhausted, and all anyone can do is laugh at me... watashi anata dakishimeru yo @ 11:07 p.m. Monday, June 17, 2002 np: I'll be the One - Hikaru no Go I've decided my summer anime-related project is to go back and download all of Hikago. Damn you, CLAMP, and your X anime that threw me off the track of Hikago downloading. What should have been a purely momentary distraction (notice I've seen, what, four, five episodes of X total since I was so bitterly disappointed) made me forget about catching up till now. When it is, alas, nearly too late to make a significant dent in the series. I'm enjoying it, though I'm kind of watching it in random order. ^^; Conclusion? Selling my soul to Satan might have been a step up to selling it to CLAMP, and it would have been significantly cheaper. Damn you, CLAMP. Meanwhile, went to see Scooby-Doo this weekend. It actually wasn't that bad. My family members, myself included, have generally been addicted to the show at one point in our lives or another...even now, when CN does 24 hour marathons, we tune in to watch a few. I only stopped watching when I got older and found out what quality animation was, and realized they used the same exact frames for every episode and just changed the villain. ^^;;; BUT that's not the point. The point is that I noticed the theater had hung up the HP Chamber of Secrets movie poster (which is Dobby, if you haven't seen it). I was kind of miffed as Dobby didn't look as I'd envisioned him to be, and I'm so picky over visual aspects like that...but all the same was a bit excited. Well, the previews began, and one began with a sweeping landscape shot, and an owl came fluttering down...XDXDXD I distinctly remember that last year, I was ten times more impressed and excited by the trailer than I was by the actual movie. The use of the music in the trailer is excellent, whereas in the movie it irritated me. This will be the case once again, I'm sure. That trailer was FANTASTIC. It was what, a minute or two of quick sequences, and by the end I was positively SHIMMERING and cackling to myself, "I wanna come back to see Scooby-Doo again, and won't even watch the movie, will pay full admission price to see that trailer AGAAAAAAIN~!!" Though I was cackling for other reasons. Meimi: *____* Screen: *SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAPE* Meimi's brain: GAAAAAAAY!!!! Screen: "*poses on the Duelling Platform* Scared... POTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER?" "You. Wish." Meimi's brain: ........GAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! I don't even like Harry/Draco one bit, but...but the way Draco just spits the name out... ^^;;; Luckily I managed to restrain myself from fangirl screeching in front of my family and a theater of small impressionable children. watashi anata dakishimeru yo @ 11:14 p.m. Sunday, June 16, 2002 Bound Bound Bound Bound Bound! Read it! Kismet, you get a cookie for giving feedback first; thank you~!! Kikyo-chan, I can not believe you peeked at the pages~! XO If you were going to look at them, I wish you'd said so; anyone who I let preview them was forced to go through a long, painful, grueling review session, and you got to be spared?! But I forgive you. ^^ Hmhm. Also have been watching Hikago anime. I realized that this is the first show I've watching in ages that I haven't either a) been spoiled left, right, up, and down for or b) read the manga already. Both have the same effect. So I'm finding myself absolutely delighted by the go tournaments as I have no idea who'll win. Actually, yesterday I was screeching at the screen about how DAMN YOU you play DIRTY and Hikaru should have won and about how the world of go is cruel indeed and...yeah. ^^;;; The new opening and ending sequences are nice, too; I especially like the new ending. Only problem is I'm wildly behind on episodes so I'm unfamiliar with a lot of characters at this point. My jaw dropped watching the new ending sequence (in which essentially everybody flashes by); I can't believe they introduced so many new characters during the time I haven't been watching. ^^;;; So I'm backtracking. Wai. watashi anata dakishimeru yo @ 11:21 a.m. Saturday, June 15, 2002 *ahem* Our original manga site for "Bound" is DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE! ...so we're accepting souls that are ready to be consumed. If you love me even a tiny, tiny bit, you will read it and tell me what you think: there's my email, there's a guestbook, there's social blogging. You don't even have to read the whole thing; if it turns you off immediately, then that's fine, but still comment! If you hate it, that's fine; just saying specifically what you hate would be greatly appreciated! Shiori and I have worked really hard on this manga, so wheee read the first chapter and enjoy. And now back to your regularly schedule fangirl blogging. You know what I like about Natsuki Takaya's art style? In all technicality I'm not that fond of it; I dislike how it's so detailed in some aspects and sloppy in others (Tooru's hair, for example, really annoys me because her bangs are drawn in quick, disconnected strokes while the rest of her hair is delicately drawn and flowing). I also think it's a bit too black-and-white without much toning or anything in between, making it look empty. But the amazing thing about it though; is Takaya-sensei's power over characters' facial expressions. Her simple style is able to captivate me completely on the pages full of emotion. I was reading vol 8 tonight, and discovered that if a character broke into one of those meaningful smiles, I automatically smiled with them. When Yuki just stops and smiles, I really do feel that warm, fuzzy feeling inside as I smile with him. That's why I love the art so much. watashi anata dakishimeru yo @ 11:46 p.m. Saturday, June 15, 2002 np: Love Is Cash - REBECCA Does anyone know where scans are availible for the original Japanese video covers of Ayashi no Ceres? DVD is okay too; but the video series had lots more covers. They're so pretty, but I can't find scans of them anywhere save for the official site or at places selling them...where the image is about a one inch by one inch. ^^; I can't believe that there aren't quality scans on the net somewhere when they were so pretty. watashi anata dakishimeru yo @ 03:37 p.m. Thursday, June 13, 2002 np: Ren'ai Revolution 21 - Morning Musume .......the class that was FULL, dontcha know. Ja-jaaaaan~! Meimi's Summer Plan!!! -go to college on Monday and attempt to get into class anyway. Hopefully this will work out. If not, apply to get into an art class. The class descriptions seem to be largely the same material as classes I've taken in HS, but as I've made the decision to get HYPED about the idea of art schools instead of moping doing NOTHING, damnit, so I ought to take the class, work on stuff for portfolio, and work hard at something. -IF this does NOT work, then I don't think I'm going to PA with 'Kaasan either way (at this point, is a pity since I could look at the aforementioned spiffy schools there). If I can't get into a college class this summer, then screw it, I'm going to work really hard anyhow. My plans include buying a book about photography and learning about techniques if I don't get into the class, and narrowing down choices for art schools (regular college submissions can go to hell for now; I'll figure out what looks nice as we travel to those) so I can figure out the required portfolio material to practice before submissions. Submission requirements seem to be pretty heavy on self-portraits and still lifes, so I'm going to be practicing on those all summer. Kyou no rakugaki; I haven't tried to draw myself since...uh, kindergarten when we splattered paint around and claimed the result looked like us. It kind of sucks (anyone who knows what I look like, tell me if it looks a thing like me? and if you haven't, comments on if it looks like a human shape are fine :D), but it isn't as bad as I thought it would be when I first sat down in front of the mirror, and that is why I'm going to practice, yes? Actually I'm not that worried about a self-portrait in and of itself now anyhow; I did one of myself a few months back, all in purple tones with Copic, just drawing solid colors and shadows, and I'd rather do something like that anyway. In and of itself, is improving deshou. So. No more Waaah Everyone Hates Me Because I Suck whining. Well, maybe occasionally when someone tells me so and hurts my feelings, but I've gotten into that, "Oh, so I'm talentless, am I? I'll fucking show you talentless! Huh? Huh?" mode now. It's a mode that suits me better anyway. I'm totally fine now; I feel much better now that I have a plan. No more worthless doodling from now on; I'm gonna really work towards something. As everyone should know, I'm the type of person who just kind of drifts through life relying on my inherent skills rather than trying to really work hard at something. Soooo no more. I'm going to throw my all into this summer. Even if I'm not in a fancy art program as much as I'd like to be, just watch. I'll get better. I'll be as good as I can be by fall. And off I go to work. watashi anata dakishimeru yo @ 08:21 p.m. Thursday, June 13, 2002 np: For Fruits Basket - Fruits Basket Maa. No more sulking. Am off to run around insanely and REGISTER! FOR! CLASS! .....fun. Back to celebrating my improved relationship with Photoshop. watashi anata dakishimeru yo @ 11:50 a.m. .

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Meimi? is sixteen (tanjoubi 11/18), is generally a genki person, but her cheerful and innocent appearance masks an evil fangirl mind. XD Sparkles at friends, drawing, shopping at Mitsuwa, manga, shounen ai and yaoi, fangirlism as a way of life Has been reading Hana to Yume, D.N.Angel Has been watching Esca Has been listening to Chara, Cascade, Buriguri, Yoko Kanno, gay rap XD Wishes she could stalk Imonoyama Nokoru, Seguchi Touma, Hayate, Sasame, Souma Yuki, Souma Ayame, Souma Akito, Sei-chan, Youzen, Ran, Ishida Yamato, Ichijouji Ken Wishes she could also stalk (albeit with less enthusiasm) Kusakabe Maron, Kaoru Kozue, Sumeragi Hokuto, Ohkawa Utako, Awayuki Mawata, Haruhara Haruko, Souryu Asuka Langley, Katsuragi Misato, Sakurazuka Setsuka Can be found by email at meimi@strawberrymoon.net or AIM at KSaintTail Current layout: Retro June layout, with the old version six. It's Miyu, Ran, and Aya from the anime GALS!, a great Ribon manga by Fujii Mihona. Lyrics from the ending by Jungle Smile, "Dakishimetai". maybetomorrow archive playlist fanfiction pitas allegretto applesauce atashi.blog aqua stranger basic black cat's delicacy chicken scratch complete strangers den of otakudom disintegration dreams of sakura echoes from the void eyes unclouded faded memories freetalk fuuma's shoes Øgravity green tea ice cream headphones save lives illegible scribbles kaijuu ga iru kudaranai kyoko legal alien lime rain one dimensional pensieve somedays good somedays bad technomancy that damn duck the bishounen diaries the letters from no one tokyo darling tsubasa uncommon valhalla which way is up? winnow in thy abraxas jin sarah shi-chan shiori .