Me Meimi
AIM KSaintTail Raburabu Friends, art, theatre, manga, Buffy Music Adolescence Mokushioku OST, Chara Games DDR Konamix, FFVIII Movies HP:CoS, LotR, Chicago Dokidoki "Annie" opening night, college
layout is once again, Mamoru and Toshi from Bound. Because you can never have enough Mamoru and Toshi. Ever. Lyrics from "Boku wo Utsushite" by Chara.
links?
mine?
sm.net
maybe tomorrow
building a mystery
strawberrymoon
winter fall
archives
playlist
fanfiction
pitas
or?
BmB
Schism
CLAMP-NET
CLAMPesque
The Leaky Cauldron
The One Ring
Slayage.com
layout is once again, Mamoru and Toshi from Bound. Because you can never have enough Mamoru and Toshi. Ever. Lyrics from "Boku wo Utsushite" by Chara.
links?
mine?
sm.net
maybe tomorrow
building a mystery
strawberrymoon
winter fall
archives
playlist
fanfiction
pitas
or?
BmB
Schism
CLAMP-NET
CLAMPesque
The Leaky Cauldron
The One Ring
Slayage.com
[Sunday, March 9, 2003]
Closing night.
Wrapup was suprisingly short. I didn't cry - well, not exactly. I just wasn't letting the tears overflow, but I knew it was kind of a lost cause once Sarah and Gen started up. I got up to walk out, and I went to hug Mr. Y. He hugged me extra tight.
I walked out of that theater with my mind sort of blank. It was a beautiful day outside - a little windy, but bright and blue. And I just felt kind of empty inside, like I could hear a door clanging shut behind me.
I put my key in the ignition and pulled out onto the street. For the entire drive to the last cast party, I was trying to focus on the road through blurry vision as I sobbed.
Some things are worth crying over. This was definitely one of them. Even if I have drama class for the rest of the year, that was a hug goodbye, and I felt like I was breaking.
I'd like to lock myself in my room and cry for a week. I'm not miserable; that's not it at all. I'm...just going to miss it, okay? A lot.
the real me @ 10:04 p.m.
[Saturday, March 8, 2003]
Ingrid, if you want, I could burn Angel episodes for you and send them. I already download Buffy every week anyway, so. ^^;
Eee. Les coming in this weekend, closing night tomorrow, and about nine more episodes of the DVD set. Then chem test and prayer service during the week. Feeling desperate for more sleep already.
the real me @ 12:55 p.m.
[Wednesday, March 5, 2003]
Great week. *heartheart* Besides my absolutely wonderful new general attitude, I also got the first Angel DVD set on loan today. Of which I've already watched three and a half hours of, while also cackling like a maniac about the episode tonight. Faith, Faith, Faith.
My constant happy attitude is continuing. Sooo happy.
To-do:
-transcripts
-send
-graphic design drop
-AP English stuff, not priority but nice
-chem project
-job app
-work permit
the real me @ 07:20 p.m.
[Tuesday, March 4, 2003]
No more moping. I'm not good at it anyway.
I actually did a lot of thinking last night and suddenly, I saw some of the things that worry me in an entirely new light. Like maybe, it's not my fault. Like maybe, if something isn't working after years and years - it's time to just let it go.
I'm still tired and stressed, but that important thing which has been haunting me for years is finally gone, just with a new thought I had while lying awake in bed last night: I gave it my all. I tried. I even did some good. And now it's time to walk away, because I'm just doing damage to myself now. If I start to drown in self-loathing, I won't be doing any good for anyone else, either - so it's time to let go.
It's nice, feeling free like that. I didn't realize I was allowed to walk away. I thought I would be giving up, but I'm not. I'm just...finished, role in this part of life is done. I just realized I surrendered the last...oh, year or two of my life to something silly that - guess what? - isn't my problem anymore. And I'm not going to do that ever, ever again. I gave, and now I want that part of me back.
I want to go out on this total quest on self-improvement. I want to get over this stupid waste of my time I've been obsessing over for years every single day. I never want to get up out of bed again with my first thought being, "Why bother?" Because life isn't all that tough for me, and I think if I stop being as stupid as I've been, I can iron out the rough spots.
I think this is the happiest I've been in a long time, I mean the real deep-down kind. I think I want to stay this way.
the real me @ 04:28 p.m.
[Monday, March 3, 2003]
np: Kirei na Kanjou - Akino Arai
Feeling vaguely mopey.
The end of high school seems to be one big contradiction. I don't want to leave. I don't want to stay. One the one hand, I'll be glad to leave a lot of things - getting to a college with an art program that isn't complete crap would be a nice start. But I'm starting to think, well, if I could just pack these one or two things into a box to accompany me for the rest of my life, I'd be happy. I'm so crushed at the idea of Annie closing night. I'm going to cry so hard. Can't I just be in this high school drama program for the rest of my life? Can't I keep moving from year to year with Mr. Y's directing every show? I want to do that. I don't ever want to leave it. Already I'm missing hushed whispers backstage, the musty smell of ancient costumes hauled out of the theater shed, the clumsy shuffling off the stage when the lights turn out. I miss it all without it being over.
And spoiled brattish though it may seem, I really believe that senior classes shouldn't have intense term papers for this last semester. My English paper has almost nothing to do with any material we've read, because it's a psych paper. Have I mentioned the paper I also have to write for my actual psych class, too? I have to work at the local soup kitchen in May and write a paper on my experiences there. Not to mention the chem term paper with a cheerfully suggested length of forty pages. No, this isn't honors chemistry.
I feel like I want to clutch at each last event and opportunity as it passes, but I'm so busy, so tired, so stressed. I don't have the energy to enjoy it all. And I'm missing some things before they're even gone, too.
I'm not really all that sad, though the stress is completely throwing me off - I'm terrified that I've forgotten to send some paper or document to a college, that I won't get in anywhere I want because of some clumsy mistake. That would just be so me.
Mostly, I want some rest. It seems like I'm always wishing for a day, a week, just to sit and relax. But I'm not getting it, because I've been living and breathing this musical almost around the entire clock for a month now. It's fulfilling, yeah, but it's also exhausting and the idea of this weekend isn't that great. Performance weekends just seem to be sleep in between performances and cast parties, and I already know I won't go back to school next Monday all well-rested after the cry I'm going to have when we close.
the real me @ 09:46 p.m.
[Saturday, March 1, 2003]
np: Sincerely~ever dream - dream
My free time still drowns in the musical. It's really awesome, though I keep holding back from spontaneous fits of tears when I realize my last show is passing before my eyes. I keep pulling myself together, though. I didn't realize graduation was creeping up on me until suddenly, my last opening night was gone. For the first time in five years (as long as Mr. Y has taught at our school) though, we sold out a show. So that was a great last opening night to have.
But I can not explain the amount of love I have for Sugisaki Yukiru at this moment. I must now go draw Satoshi/Daisuke doodles that express my sparkly mood after hearing about this month's chapter.
"Hontou wa...kimi to fukaku wa tsunagaritaku nakatta... Niwa."
I'm off to melt into a puddle of pink goo, thank you.
the real me @ 11:55 p.m.
[Thursday, February 20, 2003]
np: A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton
I generally don't have the usual cliched dreams. That I can remember, I've never had that falling-off-a-cliff dream, or flown in a dream, or any kind of dream that everyone apparently has. I mostly just have weird dreams, usually recurring, that I never remember until I add in new components that jog my memory. I kept having this one dream I never remembered, until I was a magical girl with six fingers. I kid you not.
This week, in fact, it occured to me that I'd never had a really good-feeling dream before. Until this week. Yesterday I had this absolutely wooonderful dream. The content wasn't really important except that the setting was a certain TV show and a certain guitarist was maaaadly in love with me. I am aware that dreams like that are the kind of thing absolutely nobody appreciates except the dreamer. But anyway.
I woke up all happy yesterday, only for my morning to erupt into college-app related chaos that required immediate fixing because of a final deadline in less than twenty-four hours. The entire ordeal began and ended in the span of about fifteen minutes, but every minute was a year off my life. So I was crazy before school even started. At least we had early dismissal, but it was decided that musical practice would continue until six as usual. My last class was in the theater, and then four more hours of practice. No heat, and the set keeps getting painted so the doors are all open to let it dry. All the wind blowing like crazy.
Anyway, even though the Crisis Document had been faxed away during school hours, I figured it couldn't do any harm to send a paper copy. I was terrified that I would either forget or oversleep and have no time to get to the post office before school.
Result being that I didn't sleep for any interval of time longer than forty minutes last night. I kept shooting straight up in bed about every twenty minutes, thinking it must be time to leave for school. And - getting back to the dream thing - for the first time in my entire life, I had one of Those Dreams. In the dream I was trying to turn my car around at a dead end on a very narrow cliff, and backed up right over the edge, of course of course.
I woke up blearily at six twenty AM (for good, unlike the five-forty, five-fifteen, four forty-nine, four-twenty, etc awakenings) and decided I was not going to school after a night like that. I called my mom to tell her such, pulled on my shoes, drove to the post office (if there every was a day I more hated the lack of outgoing mailboxes on our block), and by that point was unfortunately awake from the freezing outside air.
Slept from about noon to four, but I'm still sleepy...overall it was a pretty good day at home. Napped, played about four hours of FFVIII, finished DVD set. All nice day. Except I still have so much work to do. Ugh.
the real me @ 08:32 p.m.
[Sunday, February 16, 2003]
np: Boku wo Utsushite - Chara
New layout. *hearts* Mamoru! Toshi!
Musical practice, homework, and the Playstation all result in not much blogging and being behind on email. But it's not entirely my fault; Les has been sending me CD after CD of certain gorgeouuus high-quality movies that were for the Academy's Consideration and all that. Mmmm.
the real me @ 08:54 p.m.
[Monday, February 10, 2003]
New CLAMP series.
...wondering what it's about. Ooh. Maybe...
"XXHOLIC, a brand-new addictive manga from the mangaka who brought you more pointless sexual tension than you thought you could handle! Especially for those addicted to X, about to rip their hair out from the NEVERENDING RAMBLES and the MINDLESS LONGING for just. plain. SMUT. This sparkly-new manga from CLAMP helps you cope with the approaching X withdrawal with helpful scenes to relax the agonized fangirl brains...
Scenerio #1:
'Here, let me stand just far enough away for this not to be labeled "naughty touching" and, cough, "tie your tie".'
'I'll tie YOUR tie, pretty boy. *TACKLE onto the bed*'
'Gasp! Ooh! YEEES!'
Scenerio #2:
'*float, float*'
'*whoosh, whoosh*'
'*float, float*'
'*whoosh, whoosh*'
'...SAKURA PETAL AND FEATHER ORGY~!!!'
Scenerio #3:
'Gosh, no, I don't think I'll dismember you, strike through your heart using the power of my FIST, or make you bleed in any way. But the red ribbons and bondage imagery - that can stay.'
XXHOLIC: Because after eleven years of following Subaru's trails and tribulations in luuuuv, we deserve SMUT, DAMN YOU, CLAMP."
(I'm kidding, of course. We all know that half the reason we read these manga is not out of hope of smut that will never be delivered, but because we're all just wondering what morbid dismembered body part CLAMP will romanticize next...um.)
the real me @ 10:14 p.m.
[Monday, February 10, 2003]
np: Love - Siam Shade
"-and THEN she says, (the following in British accent) 'Oooh nooooo, I think you ought to take it todaaaay~~~~ *heartheartheart*' and I'm like, 'No, you said I could take the makeup tomorro-' and she's ALREADY WALKING AWAY FROM ME, and I'm like, 'FUCK YOU~~~~ *heartheartheartheart*'..."
hate English teacher + poor, miserable sophomore who was the unknowing victim of spiked punch at a party - she'll probably have a hangover for a week + an humiliating C grade in econ, a very easy class = yarghhhh.
Well, nothing good happened, but I was in a really good mood all day anyway. I woke up at six thirty so I'd have lots of time to stop by the gas station on the way to school, and I had enough time to go to Starbucks. Mmm. Hot chocolate is a really, really good start to a day.
the real me @ 08:22 p.m.
[Saturday, February 8, 2003]
np: Bara no Kokuin - Adolescence Mokushiroku OST
Phi~! Your layout's so pretty~~~ *__* Glad to see your blog off hiatus~~
I went to the bookstore yesterday and was so HAPPY~~ We got to stay for a few hours and I finished the new Parakiss. I'm so addicted...such a nice day~~
My life is absorbed by Bound work at the moment. Mmm. Drawing and CGing and having ever so much fun...homework? What homework?
the real me @ 10:17 p.m.
[Friday, February 7, 2003]
An extremely hectic Thursday morning took place, and I decided to just stay home - in part because I wasn't feeling amazingly well, but mostly because the morning would be a miserable start to the day if I went to school, yet a humorous story if I stayed home and slept. My car went insane around six AM. Locking and unlocking itself, beeping itself, alarm turning on and off and on and off. Easily fixed with a cheerful morning drive to the car dealership, though our relationship with the neighbors on our block may never recover...
the real me @ 08:18 p.m.
[Wednesday, February 5, 2003]
*bangs head on desk*
Spent two hours of play practice (again, on the only day out of ten I can leave school early) on about two minutes of a scene. Felt like I'd go insane by the end of it. Then I had my first drive in rush hour traffic, and had a very, very, very close scrape.
I'm so glad I had my last art class last semester. God. Today was the awards assembly for the school, and I didn't even think the portfolio class had awards so I wasn't even thinking about it. But it did.
I'm sorry. I guess it's stupid, being hurt, when I know she didn't like me at all. I didn't expect to win, but... Well. You know. I was only competing against two other people. Doesn't it seem kind of pathetic, wanting to major in art and not even being able to place best in a class of three? Even though I know she didn't like me, I can't help feeling that way.
I don't know. I'm not happy, but I don't want to be miserable because I don't think it's worth being upset over. I guess I should just be happy it's over and done with, and this is the last time that I can ever be upset over it.
the real me @ 05:43 p.m.
Closing night.
Wrapup was suprisingly short. I didn't cry - well, not exactly. I just wasn't letting the tears overflow, but I knew it was kind of a lost cause once Sarah and Gen started up. I got up to walk out, and I went to hug Mr. Y. He hugged me extra tight.
I walked out of that theater with my mind sort of blank. It was a beautiful day outside - a little windy, but bright and blue. And I just felt kind of empty inside, like I could hear a door clanging shut behind me.
I put my key in the ignition and pulled out onto the street. For the entire drive to the last cast party, I was trying to focus on the road through blurry vision as I sobbed.
Some things are worth crying over. This was definitely one of them. Even if I have drama class for the rest of the year, that was a hug goodbye, and I felt like I was breaking.
I'd like to lock myself in my room and cry for a week. I'm not miserable; that's not it at all. I'm...just going to miss it, okay? A lot.
the real me @ 10:04 p.m.
[Saturday, March 8, 2003]
Ingrid, if you want, I could burn Angel episodes for you and send them. I already download Buffy every week anyway, so. ^^;
Eee. Les coming in this weekend, closing night tomorrow, and about nine more episodes of the DVD set. Then chem test and prayer service during the week. Feeling desperate for more sleep already.
the real me @ 12:55 p.m.
[Wednesday, March 5, 2003]
Great week. *heartheart* Besides my absolutely wonderful new general attitude, I also got the first Angel DVD set on loan today. Of which I've already watched three and a half hours of, while also cackling like a maniac about the episode tonight. Faith, Faith, Faith.
My constant happy attitude is continuing. Sooo happy.
To-do:
-
-send
-graphic design drop
-AP English stuff, not priority but nice
-
-job app
-work permit
the real me @ 07:20 p.m.
[Tuesday, March 4, 2003]
No more moping. I'm not good at it anyway.
I actually did a lot of thinking last night and suddenly, I saw some of the things that worry me in an entirely new light. Like maybe, it's not my fault. Like maybe, if something isn't working after years and years - it's time to just let it go.
I'm still tired and stressed, but that important thing which has been haunting me for years is finally gone, just with a new thought I had while lying awake in bed last night: I gave it my all. I tried. I even did some good. And now it's time to walk away, because I'm just doing damage to myself now. If I start to drown in self-loathing, I won't be doing any good for anyone else, either - so it's time to let go.
It's nice, feeling free like that. I didn't realize I was allowed to walk away. I thought I would be giving up, but I'm not. I'm just...finished, role in this part of life is done. I just realized I surrendered the last...oh, year or two of my life to something silly that - guess what? - isn't my problem anymore. And I'm not going to do that ever, ever again. I gave, and now I want that part of me back.
I want to go out on this total quest on self-improvement. I want to get over this stupid waste of my time I've been obsessing over for years every single day. I never want to get up out of bed again with my first thought being, "Why bother?" Because life isn't all that tough for me, and I think if I stop being as stupid as I've been, I can iron out the rough spots.
I think this is the happiest I've been in a long time, I mean the real deep-down kind. I think I want to stay this way.
the real me @ 04:28 p.m.
[Monday, March 3, 2003]
np: Kirei na Kanjou - Akino Arai
Feeling vaguely mopey.
The end of high school seems to be one big contradiction. I don't want to leave. I don't want to stay. One the one hand, I'll be glad to leave a lot of things - getting to a college with an art program that isn't complete crap would be a nice start. But I'm starting to think, well, if I could just pack these one or two things into a box to accompany me for the rest of my life, I'd be happy. I'm so crushed at the idea of Annie closing night. I'm going to cry so hard. Can't I just be in this high school drama program for the rest of my life? Can't I keep moving from year to year with Mr. Y's directing every show? I want to do that. I don't ever want to leave it. Already I'm missing hushed whispers backstage, the musty smell of ancient costumes hauled out of the theater shed, the clumsy shuffling off the stage when the lights turn out. I miss it all without it being over.
And spoiled brattish though it may seem, I really believe that senior classes shouldn't have intense term papers for this last semester. My English paper has almost nothing to do with any material we've read, because it's a psych paper. Have I mentioned the paper I also have to write for my actual psych class, too? I have to work at the local soup kitchen in May and write a paper on my experiences there. Not to mention the chem term paper with a cheerfully suggested length of forty pages. No, this isn't honors chemistry.
I feel like I want to clutch at each last event and opportunity as it passes, but I'm so busy, so tired, so stressed. I don't have the energy to enjoy it all. And I'm missing some things before they're even gone, too.
I'm not really all that sad, though the stress is completely throwing me off - I'm terrified that I've forgotten to send some paper or document to a college, that I won't get in anywhere I want because of some clumsy mistake. That would just be so me.
Mostly, I want some rest. It seems like I'm always wishing for a day, a week, just to sit and relax. But I'm not getting it, because I've been living and breathing this musical almost around the entire clock for a month now. It's fulfilling, yeah, but it's also exhausting and the idea of this weekend isn't that great. Performance weekends just seem to be sleep in between performances and cast parties, and I already know I won't go back to school next Monday all well-rested after the cry I'm going to have when we close.
the real me @ 09:46 p.m.
[Saturday, March 1, 2003]
np: Sincerely~ever dream - dream
My free time still drowns in the musical. It's really awesome, though I keep holding back from spontaneous fits of tears when I realize my last show is passing before my eyes. I keep pulling myself together, though. I didn't realize graduation was creeping up on me until suddenly, my last opening night was gone. For the first time in five years (as long as Mr. Y has taught at our school) though, we sold out a show. So that was a great last opening night to have.
But I can not explain the amount of love I have for Sugisaki Yukiru at this moment. I must now go draw Satoshi/Daisuke doodles that express my sparkly mood after hearing about this month's chapter.
"Hontou wa...kimi to fukaku wa tsunagaritaku nakatta... Niwa."
I'm off to melt into a puddle of pink goo, thank you.
the real me @ 11:55 p.m.
[Thursday, February 20, 2003]
np: A Thousand Miles - Vanessa Carlton
I generally don't have the usual cliched dreams. That I can remember, I've never had that falling-off-a-cliff dream, or flown in a dream, or any kind of dream that everyone apparently has. I mostly just have weird dreams, usually recurring, that I never remember until I add in new components that jog my memory. I kept having this one dream I never remembered, until I was a magical girl with six fingers. I kid you not.
This week, in fact, it occured to me that I'd never had a really good-feeling dream before. Until this week. Yesterday I had this absolutely wooonderful dream. The content wasn't really important except that the setting was a certain TV show and a certain guitarist was maaaadly in love with me. I am aware that dreams like that are the kind of thing absolutely nobody appreciates except the dreamer. But anyway.
I woke up all happy yesterday, only for my morning to erupt into college-app related chaos that required immediate fixing because of a final deadline in less than twenty-four hours. The entire ordeal began and ended in the span of about fifteen minutes, but every minute was a year off my life. So I was crazy before school even started. At least we had early dismissal, but it was decided that musical practice would continue until six as usual. My last class was in the theater, and then four more hours of practice. No heat, and the set keeps getting painted so the doors are all open to let it dry. All the wind blowing like crazy.
Anyway, even though the Crisis Document had been faxed away during school hours, I figured it couldn't do any harm to send a paper copy. I was terrified that I would either forget or oversleep and have no time to get to the post office before school.
Result being that I didn't sleep for any interval of time longer than forty minutes last night. I kept shooting straight up in bed about every twenty minutes, thinking it must be time to leave for school. And - getting back to the dream thing - for the first time in my entire life, I had one of Those Dreams. In the dream I was trying to turn my car around at a dead end on a very narrow cliff, and backed up right over the edge, of course of course.
I woke up blearily at six twenty AM (for good, unlike the five-forty, five-fifteen, four forty-nine, four-twenty, etc awakenings) and decided I was not going to school after a night like that. I called my mom to tell her such, pulled on my shoes, drove to the post office (if there every was a day I more hated the lack of outgoing mailboxes on our block), and by that point was unfortunately awake from the freezing outside air.
Slept from about noon to four, but I'm still sleepy...overall it was a pretty good day at home. Napped, played about four hours of FFVIII, finished DVD set. All nice day. Except I still have so much work to do. Ugh.
the real me @ 08:32 p.m.
[Sunday, February 16, 2003]
np: Boku wo Utsushite - Chara
New layout. *hearts* Mamoru! Toshi!
Musical practice, homework, and the Playstation all result in not much blogging and being behind on email. But it's not entirely my fault; Les has been sending me CD after CD of certain gorgeouuus high-quality movies that were for the Academy's Consideration and all that. Mmmm.
the real me @ 08:54 p.m.
[Monday, February 10, 2003]
New CLAMP series.
...wondering what it's about. Ooh. Maybe...
"XXHOLIC, a brand-new addictive manga from the mangaka who brought you more pointless sexual tension than you thought you could handle! Especially for those addicted to X, about to rip their hair out from the NEVERENDING RAMBLES and the MINDLESS LONGING for just. plain. SMUT. This sparkly-new manga from CLAMP helps you cope with the approaching X withdrawal with helpful scenes to relax the agonized fangirl brains...
Scenerio #1:
'Here, let me stand just far enough away for this not to be labeled "naughty touching" and, cough, "tie your tie".'
'I'll tie YOUR tie, pretty boy. *TACKLE onto the bed*'
'Gasp! Ooh! YEEES!'
Scenerio #2:
'*float, float*'
'*whoosh, whoosh*'
'*float, float*'
'*whoosh, whoosh*'
'...SAKURA PETAL AND FEATHER ORGY~!!!'
Scenerio #3:
'Gosh, no, I don't think I'll dismember you, strike through your heart using the power of my FIST, or make you bleed in any way. But the red ribbons and bondage imagery - that can stay.'
XXHOLIC: Because after eleven years of following Subaru's trails and tribulations in luuuuv, we deserve SMUT, DAMN YOU, CLAMP."
(I'm kidding, of course. We all know that half the reason we read these manga is not out of hope of smut that will never be delivered, but because we're all just wondering what morbid dismembered body part CLAMP will romanticize next...um.)
the real me @ 10:14 p.m.
[Monday, February 10, 2003]
np: Love - Siam Shade
"-and THEN she says, (the following in British accent) 'Oooh nooooo, I think you ought to take it todaaaay~~~~ *heartheartheart*' and I'm like, 'No, you said I could take the makeup tomorro-' and she's ALREADY WALKING AWAY FROM ME, and I'm like, 'FUCK YOU~~~~ *heartheartheartheart*'..."
hate English teacher + poor, miserable sophomore who was the unknowing victim of spiked punch at a party - she'll probably have a hangover for a week + an humiliating C grade in econ, a very easy class = yarghhhh.
Well, nothing good happened, but I was in a really good mood all day anyway. I woke up at six thirty so I'd have lots of time to stop by the gas station on the way to school, and I had enough time to go to Starbucks. Mmm. Hot chocolate is a really, really good start to a day.
the real me @ 08:22 p.m.
[Saturday, February 8, 2003]
np: Bara no Kokuin - Adolescence Mokushiroku OST
Phi~! Your layout's so pretty~~~ *__* Glad to see your blog off hiatus~~
I went to the bookstore yesterday and was so HAPPY~~ We got to stay for a few hours and I finished the new Parakiss. I'm so addicted...such a nice day~~
My life is absorbed by Bound work at the moment. Mmm. Drawing and CGing and having ever so much fun...homework? What homework?
the real me @ 10:17 p.m.
[Friday, February 7, 2003]
An extremely hectic Thursday morning took place, and I decided to just stay home - in part because I wasn't feeling amazingly well, but mostly because the morning would be a miserable start to the day if I went to school, yet a humorous story if I stayed home and slept. My car went insane around six AM. Locking and unlocking itself, beeping itself, alarm turning on and off and on and off. Easily fixed with a cheerful morning drive to the car dealership, though our relationship with the neighbors on our block may never recover...
the real me @ 08:18 p.m.
[Wednesday, February 5, 2003]
*bangs head on desk*
Spent two hours of play practice (again, on the only day out of ten I can leave school early) on about two minutes of a scene. Felt like I'd go insane by the end of it. Then I had my first drive in rush hour traffic, and had a very, very, very close scrape.
I'm so glad I had my last art class last semester. God. Today was the awards assembly for the school, and I didn't even think the portfolio class had awards so I wasn't even thinking about it. But it did.
I'm sorry. I guess it's stupid, being hurt, when I know she didn't like me at all. I didn't expect to win, but... Well. You know. I was only competing against two other people. Doesn't it seem kind of pathetic, wanting to major in art and not even being able to place best in a class of three? Even though I know she didn't like me, I can't help feeling that way.
I don't know. I'm not happy, but I don't want to be miserable because I don't think it's worth being upset over. I guess I should just be happy it's over and done with, and this is the last time that I can ever be upset over it.
the real me @ 05:43 p.m.