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np: Extrication - Hayashibara Megumi And of course my first night off from school was spent...asleep. XD;; I came home and fell into bed around six-thirty...that's baaad. ^^;; Had lots of fun at Ali's house, though... Meimi: XD Let's get the tape and see if it IS Kaworu's eye! Ali: Okay~<3 *we watch the opening* Meimi: It's GRAYISH hair! XO Ali: It's BLUE hair and it just LOOKS grayish! XO Meimi: ...the tape's not stopping; mind if we watch him again? Ali: Nope. XD So we watched him again with much sparklies, and then the ninth tape since I was in an Eva mood. <3 Tanoshikatta yooon... Hrm...I shoudl catch up on my email now, and then I think I'll clean the house. Because 'Kaasan was yelling about everyone else making it a mess last night, and she woke me up. =_=;; Friday, June 1, 2001 08:35 a.m. Is the last day of school. Nyooo...it feels like it should be the last day, but doesn't feel like it is the last day. ^^; And I can't watch Eva with a straight face anymore. After the drama, and these... XD;; Interesting thing to do: watch the Eva opening sequence in slow-motion. XD ("No! What WAS that?!! Go back go back go back!" "That? *pauses tape*" "Nooo~!! THAAAAT~~~!!! XO Pause it pause it pause it~!!!") Was it just me, or was the eye in the opening for that episode Kaworu's instead of Rei's? Well, Ali's tape is realllllly bad quality (and her VCR has this odd tendency to display some colors strangely) so I'm probably wrong. XD;;; We watched the last three episodes, though I don't think it was a healthy move directly after reading the thumbnail theater. "I am introspective and mysterious. Who am I? Who am I? What am I? Who am I? What am I? Who am I? What am I? Who am I? What am I?.....I am I. I am me. I am also voiced by Megumi Hayashibara. You will worship me." XD Thursday, May 31, 2001 07:34 a.m. np: Infinity - Hayashibara Megumi I've calmed down a little bit. Doing terribly on the algebra exam does that; but 'Kaasan pointed out to me that even if I got a C this semester, I would have a B for the *year*. Shiranakatta...I thought the semester grades counted, not the year. o_o Oh well. Thanks so much to everyone who's wished me well on finals. XD And happy birthday! ^_^ ...I'm still so happy, I can hardly believe it. *giggles* My teacher actually called a little while ago. 'Kaasan: PHONE~! It's your teacher! Meimi: Comiiiiing~!! *picks it up* 'Kaasan: *mouths* You're going on VACATION. TOMORROW. *RIGHT* after your last exam. Meimi: ... ^^;;; So she told me I had the option of taking it if I so pleased, but I said No Thanks~<3 XD I'm so haaaaappy~!!! It's amazing. ^^;;; And this was the Bad Exam Day, and tomorrow are the easy ones- health and English. In health I have a pretty steady A, so I'm not too worried about the exam...and in English, the department sent it back the first time on account if it being "far too easy". Life is good. <3 Wednesday, May 30, 2001 07:38 p.m. Here, I'm going to be giddy with happiness for a little while more. BWAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA~~~!!!! XD I DON'T HAVE TO TAAAAKE MY SCIENCE FINAAAAL~!!! THE WORLD HAS NEVER *BEEN* THIS *SPARKLY*~!!!!!! *kirarara*....I'm nowhere near done, because it's going to be break in a few minutes. At that point, I get to run around and gloat to every single one of my friends in chem or bio. OHOHOHOHOHO~!!! I love my life. <3 Wednesday, May 30, 2001 09:59 a.m. *sincerely* I am going to be SO, *SO* good for....for....for a while. Ms. Cooper: *giggle* Well...they can't find your final. Class: ...... *___* You're kidding. Ms. Cooper: So just stay put and study, and we'll wait for them to find it. ...and a while passes... Ms. Cooper: Okay, for every fifteen minutes that passes, you can eliminate one essay for whenever they find it. Class: *__* ...and now it's been forty-five minutes... Ms. Cooper: You have two options- stay and study, or media center and study, 'cause you don't have to take it. Class: *SCREEEEEEEEAAAAM* Meimi: *shrieks happily* It's a gift from GOD~!!! XD XD XD Rocchan: ...yeah, right. >_>;; As I said, I'm going to be sooooo GOOOD... XD XD XD I must go study for math final now, because I'm gonna fail that no matter what happens...but still~!! I'm soo UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY RIGHT NOW~!!! XD XD XD WE DON'T HAVE TO TAKE IIIT~!!!! I must have done something very very good to deserve this. <3 Wednesday, May 30, 2001 09:46 a.m. np: Nanka Shiawase - Rekka no Honoo ...and sometimes, I think it's amazing how so many times things work out so well. It seems like there's always *something* waiting to cheer you up as life gets hectic. I'm probably still going to flunk my algebra final tomorrow, but all the same the idea of it doesn't scare me quite as much. I'm going back to studying after all...I haven't studied for human anatomy today except for two hours when I woke up, so I'm gonna end up getting to school tomorrow (at seven >_<) and study for that for the hour and a half I have...since that's first. *siiigh* But I feel much, much better now. "Nanka shiawase, chotto shiawase, kanjiru toki koso shiawase no hajimari..." *hums* Shiawase. Leslie, arigatou~ XD Tuesday, May 29, 2001 09:36 p.m. np: Give A Reason - Hayashibara Megumi I want to cry. I'm absolutely positive that some of the lessons on our algebra study guide were ones NEVER taught to us. I can do almost half of the problems on said guide (that's not really fair, because I haven't bothered to unearth seperate notes for one section and then I should be able to do a looot more)...but... *recites* I hate school, I hate algebra two, I'm angry at our stupid principal who put MATH AND SCIENCE FINALS on the SAME DAY (what kind of stupid logic IS that...?), and I'm also annoyed at my family. Meimi: *studyiiiing...* Aniki: *yells* Can you come down and see what's wrong with the iMac? Meimi: *twitch*....*walks down* I don't use iMacs. 'Kaasan: *fiddling with it* Okay, fine. Meimi: *returns to studying* Aniki: *yells* Can you tell us the dialup number you use for AOL? Meimi: *twitch*.....oh! *rushes downstairs* It's not connecting because it's set to cable modem settings! 'Kaasan: *icily* Yes. So go up and get the number so I can start inputting modem settings. Meimi: ....fine... >_>; *goes up, retrieves number while thinking, "I just know this isn't gonna work."*returns to studying* Aniki: *yells* Do you have any AOL startup disks? Meimi: >___<;;;!!!!! NO. Tuesday, May 29, 2001 08:17 p.m. np: Megumi Island - Hayashibara Megumi *snarls* I hate algebra two. I hate it I hate it I HATE IIIIT. Thank God I only need to get a 65% on my exam, which might be even managable, but...I'm even having my doubts. *sob* If I totally flunk it, I'll get a C in the class...which will mean five months of hard work, trying to get myself up to a decent grade, will have all been in vain. I also hate my school, who make the exam TWENTY FRICKING PERCENT of the semester grade. WHY?!! >_<;; That's too much~~~ *grimances* I got a higher grade in first quarter human anatomy, so I don't have to be as afraid for that exam...I can escape with a C and still keep my B...and a C on that exam isn't as hard as a C on the algebra one, because I can actually retain the information from anatomy but with algebra we never use it again. >_>;;; I'm dying. ;___; Dyyyyiiiiing....off to study; I'll probably quit around nine... Tuesday, May 29, 2001 06:12 p.m. np: Egao ni Aitai - Marmalade Boy Ooh, and we went shopping yesterday...but 'Kaasan said she wouldn't buy me any clothes yet.. >_>;;; but she bought me a journal. (It's sooo pretty~!! It's pink and in another shade of pink (you can only see it if it catches the light), it has a rose design cut into it...looks like the Utena seal. <3) Which I need, because last summer I swear that the only thing that allowed me to keep my sanity in PA was having a notebook to rant in. *diiiies* Shiori-chan, I figure by then (I leave the 24th of June, I think) you'll have given me the MW script, and I promise you that purely for the sake of having nothing to do during that vacation, I will redo that chapter over and over until it is PERFECT. XD *makes face* And in addition to the VCR there being broken down, nobody around there has a DVD player, either. =_=; I really don't care all that much because I haven't any great desire to show PSME or Bebop to my cousins (though I would like to show them TB~~)...the age difference between me and Nina is suddenly becoming apparent for the first time in our lives. I realized last year that showing them anything outside kiddie anime would not help to save my sanity. ~_~; I need something mindless with cute guys, because if I show them anything vaguely trippy she only focuses on the cute guys. (*twitches* Last year I brought all of Esca, and I swear she didn't even SEE another character besides Dilandau. It's slightly annoying as she didn't even understand the story because she wasn't paying attention to it...I love Dilandau as much as the next girl, but dammit, he isn't all of Esca...) Oh well. =_= By then I'll have about half of MB, and that can keep them busy the whole fricking summer....but that won't save my sanity either. Hm...damn. Tuesday, May 29, 2001 02:13 p.m. np: Graduation - Sasaki Yuuko Argh. I just want to get to J-town, with money, and spend it on manga. ;_; I need X 16, Cyber Idol Mink tanks 2 and 3, Hoshii no wa Hitotsu Dake tank 2, Evangelion 5...and well, I'd *like* Gravi, but I get the idea I'd be fighting Leslie for it. XD;;; Actually, I'd like more stuff by Takase-sensei other than Hoshiinowa...I liked Hoshiinowa okay, but I absolutely loved the short story included in tank 3, called "Kimi to Deatte Kara". The art and designs were lots better than his usual stuff, and it was just a gorgeous love story. I'd like to see if he's done something else as nice as that... But I've got this strange obsession with red shoes-related things. T-T It kind of started with Hoshiinowa, and I also tend to fall hooklineandsinker for songs called "Akai Kutsu"... ^^;;; Monday, May 28, 2001 10:37 p.m. np: Pun! Pun! Pun! Uwasa no Michael - Marmalade Boy (Why the hell am I listening to this? o_O;) Some news from everyone's favorite shoujo translator, Mixx... "Marmalade Boy is the definition of dysfunctional. Miki's parents have decided to swap marriages with another couple much to her horror. But when she sees her gorgeous new step-brother Arimi, she kind of warms to the idea-until she discovers he's best friends with a boy she used to have a crush on, and now has a crush on her! Arimi is stuck in a triangle of the worst kind, as the two guys she likes are now best friends with each other. Wataru Yoshizumi is the mangaka behind Marmalade Boy. With several other titles to her credit in Japan this is the first to receive distribution in the US." ........it's no wonder people hate Mixx when they make it SO DAMNED EASY with stuff like this. *snort* I didn't know that they'd moved into the DVD market as well...poor KST. ;-; (I never cared much for what I saw of the anime, but I did like the music (Sakurai Tomo-samaaaa~!! XD) and always meant to get the end someday... =_=;) Sunday, May 27, 2001 07:30 p.m. np: Takeshi no Paradise - Pokemon (I LOVE THIS SONG. XD "O! NE! E! SA! N~!!!") I <3 Leslie. XD She called me, which is kind of rare...and we talked...and she just really makes me happy whenever I talk to her. ^__^ Leslie: And we bought a new Bebeop postcard set, which had new pictures- .........*pause*..........NO, "NEW", Mom. *NEW*. I said *NEW*, you SICK... Meimi: .......... Leslie: ....I love my family. <3 And she bought lots of stuff (Gravi stuff!! XD) she's going to show me, and I realized I never showed her my Bebop "The After" artbook. *_* Aitai naaa~~~ but her school isn't over until next Wednesday. *pout* I guess the fact they had a ridiculously long Christmas break catches up at one point in the year. >.>;; >Fic. Very short- X/TB-ish, because I love her and I wish she got more fics. XD (All I want in life is that drama so I can hear her. It's all I want. ;_; I've had DREAMS about getting that drama! DREAMS~!! You'd think at the least they'd show up on Napster, but I can only find the music... ;-;) Saturday, May 26, 2001 09:45 p.m. np: Kitto OK! - Gundam Wing =_= I guess...without everyone being mad at everyone else, I finally have time to be mad at people in general now it's almost over. *snort* Well, anyway...only two more days of school next week, and I'm done. =_= I was in quite the bad mood yesterday, as once I got in the car 'Kaasan threw a holy because I hadn't gotten a pin or award this year, and Ali got three pins and a bunch of awards. >_<; "Well I KNOW you're as smart if not MORE so than she is, so why can't you stop taking the backseat to her and actually give her some competition for a change?" *sourly* Just what I wanted to hear when I jumped in the car. I don't give a damn if Ali is better than me at school...because I don't WANT to be like that, and if I have to choose between happiness with myself on a regular basis, or getting to get class pins two days out of the year...well... >_>;;; Then I got pounced on because I didn't get the art pin, but Allyson did. Now, I'm fairly sure I'm a better artist overall than she is, but she's working on going to an art school over the summer, and she needs it more. It's wonderful how loved I feel by those around me. Really, it is. I'm going to go study a little more so I can call Leslie in a bit. I feel like collapsing downstairs in front of the TV, and marathoning the ends of Utena and Bebop. Saturday, May 26, 2001 04:48 p.m. *sniffle* Class Day is over. Ironically enough, I cried not during, but after dismissal. I got a lovely card with a friendship poem (I started crying first when I read it) and a beautiful ring from Rocchan...and a box of duckie merchandise (she knows me too well), a pack of "Akuma na Eros" Shocomi furoku stationary, and a beautiful card/note with a graduation party invitation from Daisy. *wipes eyes* It was a beautiful day, but...just very sad...and I'm not really glad it's over. I didn't really have anyone close leaving last year (and next year I'm going to be an absolute sobbing *wreck*)...and while finals go on, those really are not "school", and this is technically considered the Last Day. We all moved up to take new places in the auditorium...of course the fact that school is over kind of slipped my mind again this year. The idea of becoming a junior had gone completely forgotten. And we walked out of Gina's class, and all these girls were wailing, "We're gonna be juniors! Can you believe we're juniors? Can you believe it?" *teary* Our whole school is just really close...and I'm so sad this year's over...while completely looking forward to next year at the same time. Friday, May 25, 2001 03:35 p.m. Digimon chara selector. ^^ # 1 - Yamato Ishida # 2 - Mimi Tachikawa # 3 - Sora Takenouchi # 4 - Daisuke Motomiya # 5 - Hikari Yagami # 6 - Koushiro Izumi # 7 - Miyako Inoue # 8 - Takeru Takaishi # 9 - Ken Ichijouji # 10 - Taichi Yagami # 11 - Jyou Kido # 12 - Iori Hida Not too far off- I think Mimi first (definitely Mimi first ^^), then either Yama or Taichi, then...after that I don't think anyone in particular. ^^; Tomorrow, Class Day. I should have gotten all sentimental today about having the last classes of the year for the first five blocks, but... ^_^;; The only class I'm gonna really miss is Honors English, and we're guaranteed to be together next year since there's only one Honors class, so it's not that big a deal. ^^;;; I just need to buy from CD-Rs on the way home, and spend the rest of my night burning them and making cards for those graudating. ;_; Had our last meeting of anime club this year, too...Jinny is as hated as I predicted she would be. I just wanted to get one more episode ahead, so we could get to Keeeeeiiii...but to no avail. *pout* Thursday, May 24, 2001 03:28 p.m. At the end of the school year, I like to sit back and think about what's happened since the end of the previous one...even moreso than I do at New Year's. After all, I plan to have a lot more New Years than I do years of high school...as silly as some things might seem, some of the most memorable times this year were... I went to Anime Expo 2K and sat through the Utena movie with 'Kaasan, endured the two-week long lecture that followed, and still didn't regret a minute of it. I've gotten to meet a ton of online friends at cons this year, and I hope we keep on finding times to meet up again. I've gotten to know a lot more people in general. I became better friends with Leslie-tachi and now have the biggest group of friends I've ever had in my life. I've sat up the whole night with Ali and Leslie, watching anime or just cackling over sick fangirlish thoughts- and those will probably be some of the best nights of my life. I have witnessed those two friends, in Subaru and Tree-chan cosplay, sing "Catch You Catch Me" in 'mourning of Sei-chan' at Fanimecon karaoke. I've begun working with Shiori-chan on MW, which just makes me ecstatic. I finally made it into a school play production, and when I didn't make it into the musical I helped decorate the front hall just as happily. I was in Honors English block five, where you can only learn something if you want to- but friendships can grow in the class all the same. I've made friendships with people that are leaving to go far away this summer, and I'm going to miss them so much it makes me want to cry. And I've learned enough about myself this year to realize that I ought to work on complaining less and being a less selfish person. And the list could go on and on... Thursday, May 24, 2001 09:20 a.m. np: Ameoto wo Kikinagara - Sasaki Yuuko I've had this song stuck in my head all day...it sounds the way I feel very much. I hate having friends mad at each other. I usually consider all of them mature people (where it counts, you know what I mean), and it just suprises me to find almost all of my closest school friends upset at each other. I think it's boiled down to Rocchan and Daisy, but still...well, reworded, I've got a fairly short temper inside. And while it pains me to see everyone angry at each other, it's quite shocking to me that I'm actually neutral. It makes me feel like I've matured slightly...? >_>;; At any rate, I don't think I can do much past talking to everyone seperately, and I think I told everyone everything I wanted to say. I guess the choice is theirs...but...um. I've *never* had friends mad at each other like this in the least. And suddenly I find myself in this role I never believed I'd find myself in. It's strange. ^^;; ...shockingly enough, I am actually trying to help people out more than I am fascinated that I'm doing so. ^^; Must go work on graduation gifts. Wednesday, May 23, 2001 09:46 p.m. Doujin screams. *STAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARE* ....JIIIIN~!! Did you SEE THAAAT?!! O__O All logic says I shouldn't spend a whole week's allowance on a doujinshi/shipping, be it Taito or just a pretty Yamato angst trip. Let's look at a few more until I try to buy one- ...... OH MY LORD. ......is that.....is that Alice in Wonderland he's dressed up as?!! O_O;;;; ....and I want this one and this one and this one and this one and.... and this is possibly the scariest thing I've seen in a while, and in that I mean scarier than...Aliceyamako, or whatever we want to call her. But I finally found one of these, which is somehow comforting because it's somewhat more believable than Gomamon x Jyou, which exists. =_=;;; I'm sure they're ALL out there, but...anyway, I probably won't end up buying any, but I still WANT. ;_; Wednesday, May 23, 2001 09:09 a.m. >_> What the hell is it with people on MLs these days and complete lack of common courtesy? Mouuuu...I came home yesterday to find 122 new messages, while as I check my mail about twice before I even get home, was an awful lot. Hopefully it won't be as bad today since I unsubscribed from CCSFFML yesterday. >_<; As long as CFFML is around, I don't think I'm missing much of anything for CCS fics...and it doesn't look like the Andy thing is going to go on for much longer- I agree with Meg and Erin-chan's sentiments on the whole deal. ^^;; If people like it, they like it; if they don't, they don't... Though can anyone point out a really good Tomoyo x Sakura fic for me? o.O I keep waiting for some marvelously skilled writer to write something such, where they magically resolve everything with Tomoyo and Sakura in an heartbreakingly romantic kind of way. To date, I've seen plenty of Tomoyo x Sakura fics, and ones that are good...but none *ever* dealing with the actual act of them getting together. If ever mentioned, it is in passing, and only, "But Tomoyo-chan <3 I love only you <3 and how could you ever be so absolutely stupid <3 to EVER EVER think I could love Syaoran-kun~~<3~~~~?" =___=;;; Wednesday, May 23, 2001 07:40 a.m. np: Kimi no Mama de - Comic Party Nrgh. Need new layout- I think I decided the pic, so I'll get working on that soon. *bangs head on desk* Um. A week and two days and I'm done. But this Friday is Class Day, where I will not be thinking "It's almost over!" but, "Damn, why can't it LAST longer? XO NOO~!!" Class Day is basically first awards (I'm not holding my breath that I get any this semester, either =_= I got a ton of awards last year, but the only one that meant anything to me is drama, and I got the pin for that...), and then a big reminiscing session for the seniors. Everyone who isn't a senior spends the entire day bitching about how boring it is, which I think is just...evil, because they'll appreciate it when their time comes. And I appreciate it now, because while I'm not personally a part of that class' memories (though there are always a few each year that I know- next year there's gonna be a -ton- I know), it makes me look back and say both, "What did I do with this year?" and then, "What do I want to do next year?" Sad. ;___; At this point, though, I just want the stress over. *faints* Morality final first thing tomorrow, which I'm not even studying for...health oral report (for real this time =_=;;) tomorrow. Final grades for human anatomy. >_>;;;; At least this is the least stressful of my days so far, though. ^_^; Thursday/Friday are my last classes for each, and those should be either completely final-cramming or completely signing-yearbooks. ^^;; ....souieba... >_>;;; Signing party tomorrow. Must go. XD; And also should get to bed- after a few weeks of it, I have grudgingly given up my motto of "sleep is overrated". Or rather, I haven't, but I can't afford to fall asleep in class these next couple days. ^_^; Oyasumi...anyone else stressing out, GANBATTEEEE~!!! XD Wednesday, May 23, 2001 12:19 a.m. o_O;;; Okay, so she wasn't mad at me. Whatever. Well, I got sick of staring at the glowing screen directly after I wrote the last entry, so I moved about a foot to the next table, and fell asleep on a stack of books. =_=;; Went home, popped in the last Bebop DVD, and fell asleep. 'Kaasan woke me up at eight to do my work- not a chance. XD Had one hell of a stressful day today, but I guess it all worked out. ^^;; Shiori, I completely agree with that. XP Though I don't think it's not a matter of not seeing the show, because the first four Tamers episodes were made to download full...it's a matter of two components. Firstly, that I could hardly call eight episodes of a show enough to make a page with any content (because the actual show has little so far, though lots of room for spectulation), and secondly because judging from the message boards, none of these people have a CLUE what's going on in those episodes because they can't understand the dialogue! >_<;; I can understand about 90% of it, but I don't think all that many Tamers fans can. I visited forums and found them analyzing Ruki's character purely on facial expressions and tone of voice. *snort* Though after seeing more of Ruki, I don't think she's going to be a Ken or Yamato clone like I previously expected. Her attitude seems to have been the same before she ever became a Tamer in the first place- unlike Ken. (Loved her flashback where she wore the shirt with the skull on it. XD And now the broken heart? FORESHADOWING~!) And Renamon and Ruki don't seem to have a friendship like the others do, but a partnership of sorts. i.e. Renamon isn't really acting against her own will; she wants to become strong and Ruki is pushing her, however harshly, to do so. Though I'm inclined to wonder if the bond with a Digimon is a mutual thing... Because the one thing with Renamon that really suprised me was the scene where Terriermon (whatever his evolved form is =_=;;) attacked her, and it was Gillmon that saved her instead of Renamon. o_O;; Were it any other Digimon, they would have come to their child faster than light. o_o At any rate, Tamers is the season where I'd watch the show just because I think the Digimon are cute. (!) Culumon and Terriermon are the most preeeeecious things I've ever seeeeeen~~~~~ XD XD XD And Impmon...I just want to see a gijinka of him, because he has such an...evil bish attitude. XD;;;;;; Despite being about six inches tall, he somehow acts it. Tuesday, May 22, 2001 03:01 p.m. *staggers to computer* Okay, note to self: Two AM is okay, three AM is okay, even four-thirty AM is okay. Staying up till five-forty-five AM is NOT okay. I am completely dead tired at the moment, and I have a ton of stuff I need to work on. Unfortunately, I need to just collapse into bed the moment I get home, and I have a take-home test that requires attention, and my morality final tomorrow morning to study for (this actually requires studying =_=), as well as that damn oral report to attend to. Well. Damn. =_=;;; In addition to this, I have about two billion other things going on this week, my friends are all upset, and now Ali's angry and not speaking to me. I'm too tired to even care... Monday, May 21, 2001 02:52 p.m. Okay, forget it. XD I'm fine really, because I had one hour of sleep last night and that was a LOT of time to think about all this crap. I'm just gonna take it as it comes. ^^ In the meantime, I need to pound out two more imitation poems and then my English project is done. It's gonna be almost twenty-five pages. o_O;;; Usoooo...a lot of half-blank pages, but still... ^^;; It's cold. >.>;; I'm slightly tired but I'll live- I was gonna go to sleep at four AM, but remembered an assignment due I'd forgotten about. ^_^; So...I stayed up till around 5:30 AM finishing that. Aha. Chotto nemui dakedo heiki. And I have to come up with a five-minute presentation for an oral report in two hours. XD Can I do it~? I'll just work on it all through study hall, as long as the turmoil doesn't eat up my time. XD Monday, May 21, 2001 08:02 a.m. np: Soul Kiss - Chara Okay. =_=; I'm oookay....no, I'm not; I still have that damned feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. >_<; However, said damned feeling has quite contributed to the completion of my English project. Two more poems to write, and everything's finished with- not counting the cover pages and table of contents and things, but I can do all that before school tomorrow in a matter of minutes. A blessing in disguise. *snort* God, the entire situation is so disgustingly immature it horrifies me. >_<; Everyone involved is older than me too, for goodness sakes. It strikes me as pathetic that a group of intelligent high schoolers can't have a nice, organized, and mature bitchfight. >_>; Exaggeration, I'm sure...yeah, I'm sure I'm seen as immature on a daily basis by everyone else around me, but when I'm acting *towards* people (not -around- people), I think I can be more mature than the rest of them at times. =_= I'm not mad at her....I'm hurt, and I'm afraid that people are going to get angry at each other...but I think she was right, looking at the big picture. I think there's probably more to this incredibly stupid situation than I realize, too. >_>; I'd be lying if I said I haven't been hurt previously because of the situation our so-called "clique" has thrown itself into...but not for any of the reasons given. I know we aren't a "clique", because I've personally been left out and abandoned on the side by friends a lot more since this started. (But that isn't the cause, so I guess it doesn't matter. *snort* It's just made the fact more obvious.) What does upset me is that so many people didn't need to be directly addressed when they weren't doing anything wrong. I don't even want to babble on about the details of the situation, because it's immature enough without me explaining the idiot *circumstances*. >__<; (Which even she said were stupid and meaningless. =_=) I'm still trying to figure out if I'm to blame, and I decided that after a conversation we had last week, it looked like I was. But the bell rang and everyone scattered before I could finish my point; without it completed I'm sure I sounded as bad as the rest of them. >_>;;; I'm actually awed that I even feel badly about this, because nobody was really being mean to that girl; there's a difference between talking trash about someone and venting about something rude she did to you. The big thing I disagree with, though, is that it isn't really a good thing to tell a person, "I don't like you. Go away." It may be the "honest" thing, but I'd prefer to go on with my method of keeping on smiling at that person, and always leaving the option of friendliness open. Because if you don't like a person and keep on treating them that way, the person or you might change to like each other soon enough...but if you outright tell a person that you don't like them, they'll *always* remember that if they change or not. So after sitting awake for a couple hours and reflecting on my actions, I've determined that I really have not done anything related to this issue that I'm ashamed of. The only thing I'm upset about is that the lunch bell rang and I couldn't finish my point; because I think I came off as very nasty. (Not as much as others present, at least.) But as the conversation was kicked off with it being mentioned that the girl had refused to give a prom picture (of which she had plenty) to Rocchan, I still think none of my friends have gotten annoyed without reason. >_>;;; My problem is that I don't know how to react tomorrow. When you get down to it, this was all really an issue that ought to have been resolved between two people and instead spread. I don't think either of those two people were really in the right, and I don't think anyone who it spread to is right either. I know I personally want to shut up, stay off to the side, and study for exams. But I'm going to not have a happy week if this gets bad. *crumples* Monday, May 21, 2001 03:09 a.m. pitas.com: not as yummy as some bishounen, but hey...what is? XD | |
archives...
MEIMI...
Age: 15
Page: M-T
Email: meimi@time-stranger.net
AIM: ksainttail
Computer: A cute, slightly mischievious PC named Nokoru.
PLAYLIST...
FAVORITE...
Anime: Digimon/02, Cowboy Bebop, CLAMP Gakuen Tanteidan, Please Save My Earth
Manga: Tokyo Babylon, KKJ, Yami no Matsuei
Fun Girls: Kusakabe Maron, Kokushou Sakura, Tachikawa Mimi, Yamazaki Miyu, Kannuki Wakaba
Pretty Guys: Sei-chan, Imonoyama Nokoru, Nishikiori Issei, Ishida Yamato, Ichijouji KEN. XD
Songs: Miruku (CHARA), Super Girl (Digimon02), Dakishimetai (GALS!)
Quote: "Kagayaita kaze wo ukete, hirogaru sora he tobitateru sa...Dive into shine, fukai yami mo hikari ni kawaru...sono shuunkan shinjiteru kara...shinjitsuzukeru..."-Dive Into Shine, Lastier
OTHER BLOGS...
allegretto
basic black
cat's delicacy
convent girl
doushita no?!
kaijuu ga iru
kelemenopy
kyoko
pensieve
pillow book
tegretol dreams
that damn duck
the bishounen diaries
tokyo darlings
truth
two-faced
valhalla
which way is up?
zooSTATION