(layout) blah .. hchan here. i slapped together this layout for dearest kchan =D it's a pic by the xenogears artist. now kchan won't feel afraid to look at her own blog..'cos that man was frightening...

I should really be sleeping right now, but I was asleep all day. Again. And I have weight training today at 4.
Man, I love this song. It's...um...#8 on Under the Pink by Tori Amos. And it is very pretty, even though her songs make very little sense. Maybe I should pay attention to the words more...but the melodies are so pretty...that they distract me. This whole album is good. I love it. Though some of her songs make me angry for some reason. I just can't listen to them without wanting to smash the cd into little bite-sized pieces.
I'm so tired.
I want some toast. I love it. It's delicious. You should go make me some. Right now.
I just realized how very little snese I'm making right now. I guess it's a good thing this site is called "Temporary Sanity" because mine has gotten more and more unstable.
Stupid things have been making me cry. Like...ER. I hate that show, but I was watching it with my mom because I had nothing else to do. And I cried. I need to get the hell out of this house. It's making me insane. It's got to be the house and the severe lack of a social life. I may have a schizophrenic uncle, but I have a hard time believing that I could possibly be so horrendously insane as I feel right now. Of course, it could be the fever I'm running and the feelings of light-headedness and nausea.
I mean, I just talked about loving toast.
I need to write and draw more.
I'm going now. I feel very ill. -Kchan, no vomiting, please. <(x__e)>

sanity was maintained @ 01:34 a.m.

Yeah. Hey. Hm.
The cocoa I made at 12 this morning was sooooo good. I made a bunch, and put the stuff I didn't drink in the fridge, and...a miricle happened. When I got some about an hour ago, it tasted like liquid fudge-pops. Holy weasel, I love fudge-pops. I need more cocoa now, but I drank it all, and I'm on a sugar high, and probably shouldn't be posting because I'll say pointless things like...everything I've just said. Yeah.
So I'm going to Hchan's sometime after Thanksgiving, but I won't be able to stay as long as I'd like because I have the wieght training therapy thingy three days a week now. I did it two days in a row this week, and it made me very tired. -Kchan, only pointless <((_o)>

sanity was maintained @ 08:25 p.m.

As I was making home-made cocoa, I noticed something very strange about myself.
I speak (in my head) in a French accent when I'm cooking.
-Kchan, only...slightly disturbed...<((_@)>

sanity was maintained @ 12:07 a.m.

HMMMMBULAHHHH!!!
Yeah, so I've been sleeping all day, and I think it kinda pissed my mom off...
See, I did the weight training therapy two days in a row, and it really took a lot outta me, and I'm kinda depressed right now because Hchan left, and Debbie's gone, and My Uncle Tom's lawyer doesn't think the appeal will go anywhere and I KNOW that my Uncle is not a sane man, and would never plan to kill anyone. Even the dead guy's mom excepts that. ::sigh:: It's really hurting my mom, and that's probably why it bugs me so much.
So Trea is home safe from Haiti, and that's really good. She said they (the doctors and nurses who were with her on the medical mission) got to help a lot of people, and that she feels really good about going. I'm just glad those robber guys didn't kill her. They usually shoot people, and then take their money.
I think I should go to SAIL and see people. I miss my friends a lot right now, and I think I need to see certain people to find out if I still feel the same way.
The house is coming together nicely. We're in the process of painting the boards on the ceiling, and two Mexican guys put in the carpet today. Mom made then hot chocolate. She's so adorable. We put the new covers on the couches, and hopefully, Liane will have the curtains done soon. We just have to get the stupid paneling cut to fit the hole in the wall, get the curtains up, and rearrange some things and we'll have a house again. Man, the front room is so crowded right now. Almost everything from the family room is in there, and it's hard not to run into stuff at night. I have so many bruises it's not even funny. -Kchan, slightly sore <((_-)>

sanity was maintained @ 09:28 p.m.

MWAHAAAA!! Hchan is here with me!! YAY!!
So we watched some horrible movies, and...well...Aaliyah was very beautiful in Queen of the Damned...but the guy who played Lestat was creepy looking. The guy who played Armand was worse, though. He looked like Leonardo DeCrapio (yes, I did spell it that way on purpose) crossed with a pinch-nosed pig. It was stinky.
Don't see Carrie. It was...craptacular.
Hchan> ::Running around in the bg.:: SCARY CARRIE SCARY CARRIE
Kchan> ::Plays Psycho Violin music.::
Hchan> ::Runs into a wall.:: AHHH.
Um. Yeah.
The only good part of that movie was when the kid on his bike screamed, "Scary Carrie! Scary Carrie!" and the creepy violin music played and Carrie made him fall over with her mind by glaring at him spookily. It was hilarious. The only other parts I liked were when John RevoltaXD and that slutty girl exploded and when the bucket fell on "Tommy's" head...and he fell down...unconcious. Yep.
I'm sad, though, because she has to leave tomorrow and I don't want her to go. I feel a lot happier when I'm with Hchan. ::sigh:: Oh well.
I don't want this to be too long a post...so...I will go now. Yes. -Kchan <((_^)>

sanity was maintained @ 12:23 a.m.

I don't really have a lot to say right now...hm. So, this guy I had a slight crush on is getting married. In Vegas. We just got the invite. It made me feel odd, because I used to kinda like him, even though he was really dorky. Actually, that was part of the attraction, because he was dorky in a sweet way. The thing that kept me from having a anything other than a slight crush was the fact that his first name is...Walter. So I always called him by his last name. ::eyeshift::
The other day, my dad came in here and I showed him my site, and scrolled down, you know, so he could see the whole thing, and he was like, "She's showing a lot of skin, isn't she??" and I was like, "What?" <(>_o)> and scrolled back up, and he saw the girl and said, "Oh! I thought her shoulders were her breasts. I didn't get a clear look at her because I was reading the name..." and I was like "......Okay...?" <('_')>
Yep.
My dad has been so...stinky since he had his stroke. I can't talk to him anymore without him getting...weird and philosophical on me. Only he gets philosophical in an annoying way because I want him to get to the point of what ever it is he wants to say, but he just keeps going. I know it's because of the stroke...but...::sigh:: Hoytoe may be stinky, but at least he doesn't get all long winded. On the other hand, he and Hchan hate eachother, and my dad and I don't.
He just used to be so much cooler, you know? No you don't. None of you knew my dad before he got all goobery, if you even know him at all. Blah. -Kchan, only sleepy. <((_-)>

sanity was maintained @ 03:45 p.m.

WOOOOOOHEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Harrison and Kristen took me out yesterday, and it rocked my socks off!! 8DDD
We went to Governer's Square and walked around and ate at Wendy's, which I haven't done in forever because I like Booger King hamboogers better. I'll never eat Wendy's chiken nuggets again XP. Then we walked around some more and Kristen and I went on the merry-go-round while...I don't know what Harrison did, actually. He disappeared. Anyway, then we got "Hydromassages" and the woman talking with the music was hilarious!! XD After that we went to Toys'R'Us because I'd never been, and then we walked to Baskin Robbins and had some yummy ice cream! 6=
We went to Kristen's after that and watched TV, and then we walked to the other mall because Kristen lives...I think she said three hundred yards away...and Kristen got a cd. Then we went back to Kristen's to get the car and she took a movie back to...I can't remember the place. Yeah. And Kristen had to get gas so Harrison and I got junk food, and they took me home.
Thank you, guys. I had a really good time. C=
When I got home, Loran (my brother) and Ian (his son!) were there with Tobi (his very sweet and adorable dog), but Liane (his spiffy wife!) was sick, so she wasn't there. Loran and Ian left after a while, and mom and I watched The Sixth Sense on TV, and...then other stuff...and she went to bed. But I stayed up and watched the end of Sabertooth and the beginning of Wolfen, and thought, "These movies are horrid." and watched the beginning of a French movie, then read some magazines. Then I ate a poptart 6= and wentto bed.
There. That's what I did yesterday. And it was fun. -Kchan, only better. <((__^)>

sanity was maintained @ 03:12 p.m.

Sorry about yesterday's (actually, it was early this morning) post. I shouldn't have felt so pissed at my friends for not emailing me and stuff. They have lives. They have school and/or jobs.
But still...
No. I'm not gonna bitch about it, because it isn't anyone's fault but my own that I don't see them. I'm the one who quit school to do that FMS study and then get my GED. ::sigh::
I'm gonna go eat my salad now. -Kchan <((_))>

sanity was maintained @ 03:14 p.m.

WARNING. DEPRESSED RANT. READ AT OWN RISK, OR GO HUMP A WEASEL. I DON'T CARE RIGHT NOW.

Man, the sky was so beautiful at sunset last night. I wish I could have gotten a video of it...the colors and the clouds...I can't even describe them. They were so graceful and...perfect. It made me sad. And it shouldn't have. I mean, it didn't at first; it made me happy and (for some reason) excited, but then I thought, "I wish I could sit on a tower or even just my roof with my friends, and watch the sun go down..." and I was so lonely. My mom agreed with me about how beautiful it was, and I said I might go up on the roof, but she said the sun would probably be too low by the time we got home, and being the all-knowing guru grandma that she is, she was right.
I am struck by how cruel and unfair it is, to get to the point where I feel saddened by something so beautiful. It's damned unfair. At least I didn't cry. I could be a soap opera, the way my emotions bounce around like this. I think that I'll be better if I can just get the hell out of this house and stay out for a while. I was so content at Hchan's, even though we didn't really do much.
Is it possible for a house to drive some one insane? I mean, it isn't just the house. It's...I dunno, it's everything. The whole situation. I have to get out. I hope Harrison was serious when he invited me to go with him and his parents and Kristen when he moves to Oregon, because if he was just trying to make me feel better...I'll have to go alone, and I'm so tired of being alone. I wonder if you can make yourself crazy, just by the way you feel?
So, I'm gonna buy some drywall and I'm gonna build a great big...box-like thing. Then, I'm gonna get myself a sledgehamer (or an axe. An axe will do just fine. Or a bat. I don't care. Something heavy.) and I'm gonna bash it to pieces, and stomp, and scream, and cry, and rant, and rave. And that way, I won't go totally insane before one of my friends (who miss me SO much that they never call or email me) asks me if I'd like to come to a party or something. If they even bother. No. I'm not angry or bitter at all. I am the happiest fucking person in the world. I'm so fucking happy, I'm not sure I even want to post this, because some one will read it and say, "FOOK! Why am I not as happy as she?" and I will kick them in the head. -Kchan, only...fuck it. I don't care.

sanity was maintained @ 01:50 a.m.

NOOO!!!! NOT ANOTHER POST ON THE SAAAME DAAAYY!!!!!
I'm thirsty. But it isn't just that my mouth is dry. I feel dry all over. I'm running on empty. I'm stuck in this house, in this life, with these feelings and this body that just can't seem to ever feel good. I feel like I used to be a rainforest, when all the sudden, it stopped raining. Everything is dying, but it's happening so slowly, and it hurts so much. I am discontented. I have to change something, but there's nothing I can change. I've tried, but nothing seems to work. Uhg....I can't even get my room clean, and I want to change my life? I must admit, I'm feeling quite discouraged.
Maybe I should move to England. That way I won't have to learn another language. I hear the chocolate is better over there anyway.
My stomach hurts and I need to have a good cry. Maybe Debbie'll spring for a chick-flick...considering the fact that I'm broke...and have no way of getting to the rental place.....hm. I need a hug. -Kchan, only sadder and more frustrated <(())>

sanity was maintained @ 04:33 p.m.

I'm posting again.....because I have nothing better to do... ain't it jest suh durn sad??
Mmm! Nacho Cheesier Doritos!! ::munch:: I hope my cat doesn't find out I'm eating them. He loves these things. Actually, he loves most of the foods I eat. He even likes plain French bread. He's such a freak. -Kchan, only nacho cheesier! =9

sanity was maintained @ 02:47 p.m.

I can't believe it's not butter...and that I was up at nine this morning.
Yeah, so, it's really cold in here. My dad doesn't want the computer to melt or something, so we have a window unit, and an overhead fan on all the time, and IT'S COLD.
I don't see why all these old people move here thinking, "Oh, it'll be so warm here in the winter! Now I won't catch the influenza and die before I get a chance to change my will!"
This, of course, means that there are more conservative people voting here, and that we get all the crappy politicians (all of them are crappy, but...I hate Jeb so very much) coming here to run for office, and they usually win. And then they make the school system all stinky. Uhg. I hate the Bush family. -Kchan, only angrier and colder <((.<)>

sanity was maintained @ 10:18 a.m.

YAY!!!! TAAAAGGGBOOOOAARRRDD!!!!! -Kchan <((________^)>

sanity was maintained @ 02:28 p.m.

Kchan rocks my socks >_>

-Hchan. HAHAHAH!

sanity was maintained @ 02:06 a.m.

MY MOM IS HOME!!!! XDDDDDD!!!! ::does ecstatic happy dance::
Yes, my mom is home...and my sister is leaving this Friday. Debbie's going to Utah to visit friends and then to New Mexico to visit -insert dramatic pause- Thomas. They've been together (as together as you can be from across the counrty, anyway) for nearly five years. They broke up, got back together half way, and then he went on a mission or the church (My family is Mormon) for two years. He just got home, and they're getting close again. It's adorable, but it depresses me, hopeless romantic that I am (much emphesis on 'hopeless'). Yep. I won't be surprised if they get married.
I need to get out of the house more. I didn't want to leave Hchan's, because it was...well, it wasn't my house. I don't care that we didn't do much, it wasn't my house. Also, I had an awesome time. We talked until late, and just...did nothing. But it's the kind of nothing that doesn't bore me, because I'm doing nothing with one the best friends I've ever had. I miss her.
I have a knack for making friends with people who live across town from me. ::disgusted sigh:: -Kchan <((_u)>

sanity was maintained @ 04:01 a.m.

::Does lurid thanky dance at Hchan:: My site is so pretty now!!8DDD
MOM IS COMING HOME TOMORROW!!!!!!XDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!
I watched McKinley today, and he fell asleep in my arms and for three hours, he just slept. I felt so...maternal. It was strange. I had a cramp in my shoulder and my arm fell asleep, but I didn't want to move, even though it hurt, because I didn't want to wake him up or make him uncomfortable. And I realized that part of having children and taking care of them is giving up your own comfort so they can be happy. I finally moved from the chair to the bed and curled up with him, but...I was so wierded out by my own willingness to give up comfort for him that it took me a while to fall asleep. It's strange, how much I love my nephews. I don't think that there's a single person I would have done that for. I would have tried to shift them a little so my arm would wake up, but not Ian or McKinley. I waited for him to move, and while I did, I realized what I was doing, and I still didn't mind. -Kchan <((_~)>

sanity was maintained @ 04:22 p.m.

I am at Hchan's house...and...we saw the WORST movie EVER. That movie...is The Ring. I did not like it at all, and I do not care at ALL if people read this and go, "MAN!! This girl sucks because she hates that movie!!" I really, truly don't.
And I miss my mom. And my cat. However, I miss my mom considerably more than I miss my cat, because my cat likes to wake me up at three in the morning my sitting on my chest so I can't breathe, or my bladder so I urgently have to pee. He just sits there and STARES at me, with his HUGE eyes. But I love him anyway, because...he's...just too fat and cute to hate. I'm not exactly sure why, but he is.
I need to archive all of this crap and get a new layout, but I'm just too lazy and tired. And depressed. Can't forget my good old friend depression. Blah. I have nothing of any relevance to say. -Kchan <((.v)>

sanity was maintained @ 02:08 a.m.

.........I miss my mom! She went to Washington. Without me. ::sigh:: I REALLY need to change my layout. Good thing I'm going to Hchan's next week =p My dad brought me a 'UGE (SO big it's TOO big for the H!!) book about how to do this sort of thing, but I just checked out six library books, and...the book he brought home...itis...massive. ::eyeshift:: I am sleepy, because it's four in the morning and I have to get up to help Debbie watch McKinley at some point during the day, so...yeah. -Kchan <((_-)>

sanity was maintained @ 03:57 a.m.

YAAAYY!! TRISH ADDED A LINK TO ME ON HER SITE 8DDD...only... Now I have to learn how to link HER site to MINE!! CRUDBUNNIES!! I WANT SOME DOUGHNUTS!!! -Kchan...only hungrier <(o_o)>

sanity was maintained @ 03:56 a.m.

My mom will be leaving for Washington soon. I want to go with her so much. I love it there. The mountains against the skyline on one side, the ocean on the other, with the shores of Victoria, Canada across the bay...MAYN! That sounds like the beginning of a romance novel! But still, I love it there, even though the town is much smaller than Tallahassee. I love this weather too. Not hot; just starting to get cold. It even smells different this time of year. It makes me happy, but it also makes me sad because it makes me want to be with my friends, and to be with someone, you know? I know that Hchan and Matt have a hard time being so far apart, but at least they actually HAVE someone that loves them. I'd better stop before I get depressed. -Kchan <((_u)>

sanity was maintained @ 05:14 p.m.

Hmm...I need to go to Hchan's house so she can teach me to HTML. Then I won't have this frightening layout anymore... At times like this, I wish I'd payed attention to Lee and Caruchia when they tried to teach me about computers. -Kchan <(v.V)>

sanity was maintained @ 08:21 p.m.

BLAH!! I AM GOING TO COMPLAIN!!! It is now 4:38am, and I am STILL awake <((.9)> I want to be asleep, but I slept until 6:00pm today, and I've completely screwed up my sleeping schedule. Also, my skin decided it wants me to be a hermit for a while (i.o.w. I broke out), and I feel like poo. On top of that, I'm trying o stop swearing, and it's REALLY difficult. Uhg. -Kchan <(e___V)>

sanity was maintained @ 04:38 a.m.

FEAR NOT!! I shall change the horrible layout, but first, I have to learn to HTML. It might come in handy if I want this to...not be a piece of crap...-Kchan <((_~)>

sanity was maintained @ 09:10 p.m.

I know you're probably wondering why this man is on the page. But I cannot tell you the answer. It is a seeeecret! Only *I* shall know the answer!! -Kchan <((_e)>

sanity was maintained @ 06:49 p.m.

This is the scariest man EVER. I dare yo to tell me otherwise. (But if you do, I will kick you in the head.) -Kchan <(o.O)>

sanity was maintained @ 06:44 p.m.