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When The World Ends - Dave Mathews Band
When the world ends Collect your things You're coming with me When the world ends You tuckle up yourself with me Watch it as the stars disappear to nothing The day the world is over We'll be lying in bed I'm gonna rock you like a baby when the cities fall We will rise as the building's crumble Float there and watch it all Amidst the burning, we'll be churning You know, love will be our wings The passion rises up from the ashes When the world ends When the world ends You're gonna come with me We're going to be crazy Like a river bends We're going to float Through the criss cross of the mountains Watch them fade to nothing When the world ends You know that's what's happening now I'm going to be there with you somehow, oh... I'm going to tie you up like a baby in a carriage car Your legs won't work cause you want me so You just lie spread to the wall The love you got is surely All the love that I would ever need I'm going to take you by my side And love you tall, till the world ends Oh, but don't you worry about a thing No, 'cause I got you here with me Don't you worry about a Just you and me Floating through the empty, empty Just you and me Oh, graces Oh, grace Oh, when the world ends We'll be burning one When the world ends We'll be sweet makin' love Oh, you know when the world ends I'm going to take you aside and say Let's watch it fade away, fade away And the world's done Ours just begun It's done Ours just begun We're gonna dive into the emptiness We'll be swimming I'm going to walk you through the pathless roads I'm going to take you to the top of the mountain that's no longer there I'm going to take you to bed and love you, I swear Like the end is here I'm going to take you up to I'm going to take you down on you I'm going to hold you like an angel, angel I'm going to love you I'm going to love you When the world ends I'm going to hold you When the world is over We'll just be beginning...
I had a crazy dream last night. One that didn't involve any Indian movie stars. I dreamt that I met two girls and became friends with them. One was sort of plain looking, straight brown hair, average height and build, down to earth girl. The other was this gorgeous, classy, ethereal girl with shining golden curls and a persona that oozed warm light. Turned out that both of them were fairies, and that faries lived in an alternate dimension than ours but visit the world of ordinary people every now and then. Anyway, there was a lot of anti-fairy sentiment from my brother and parents, who wanted to turn them in to authorities because the government said their magical powers made them dangerous. I didn't agree and said I would help them escape back to their own dimension. Somehow my sister was drawn into the escape plan, despite her ambivalence towards the entire situation, and the four of us ended up in the fairy dimension. It was pretty much the same as this world, plus some crazy contraptions and cool looking animals. But then some renegade fairies working for the human government were hunting us down and we had to use an ancient portal to transport ourselves to another (higher) dimension of refuge. We ended up in the presence of an old man who wasn't really an old man. (I think he represented Time or God or something.) The dream had a lot more details too, like the fact that 99% of fairies are left handed, or the exact engraved pattern of the circular portal we had to use. It was a pretty astounding dream.
Today was okay. Got my presentation done and over with. Got perfect on a group project. Hung out and had lunch with friends. But it was rainy and gloomy outside. Plus the fact that I had to endure school. Really tired tonight. Might just go to sleep early. Like right now.
~ Temptation took over at 10:15 p.m.
My sister and I have this little ongoing joke. We've picked male Bollywood counterparts for ourselves according to our initials. Since she is AR she's taken A. Rehman, the revolutionary world reknowned Hindi music producer. Since I'm SR I've taken Shah Rukh, the loveable world reknowned Hindi actor. We like to 'one up' each other using our counterparts. She'll say "My music was turned into a musical in London. Kofi Anan thinks I'm cool." Then I'll say "I've done movies with the most beautiful women on Earth. Girls all over the world melt upon seeing me." It's a fun little thing we do. And we also try to draw comparisons between us and our counterparts. My sister says she's a music conisseur like Rehman. I say that I'm confident with a touch of innocence like Shah Rukh. But today we were watching music videos from the movie '1 2 Ka Four' and I had to draw the line for the similarities between me and Shah Rukh. I could never cartwheel, half-naked, in workman's boots, down a slanted bridge, while humming off tune, into a fat man, accurately enough to smash into him and fall on my ass.
Right. You probably had to be there. And you'd need to see the video to understand the weirdness/hilarity of the whole thing.
They're saying they found Cecilia Zhang's body. I can't believe MSN was the medium that gave me the message. So sad; I was hoping she would be found alive.
~ Temptation took over at 11:12 p.m.
Sometimes I worry about raising kids. My mom is a stay at home mom and gave me and my brother and sister the best upbringing ever. I'm not going to be able to make that kind of sacrifice; I want to work and I'm afraid of the guilt and fear that will come with leaving my children for long periods of time. My mom has been there for us all of our lives. I don't know how I'll find the strength to walk out the door once my mat leave is over. A child should be graced with the constant companionship of a parent until they're at least 5. But that's just me and my issues. It's stuff like this that also makes me hope that my husband and I see eye to eye on most things.
Er, anyone want to write me up a disability management policy? No? Nobody? *sigh* Dammit...
~ Temptation took over at 11:37 p.m.
I'm listening to the remixed version on the Matrix soundtrack of When The World Ends by Dave Mathews Band right now. It is kick ass. I wish I could turn it up even louder, but I know my parental units will get pissed off. I can't wait to move out once again. It's getting really frustrating. I stayed in my room all afternoon and evening working on my Research Methods project yesterday, and when I came out for dinner, my mother complained that I don't do any school work. When I (not so calmly) explained that I had been working the whole time and that she shouldn't assume I'm slacking all the time, she shrugged and said she wasn't psychic. ARG! I hate when that happens. And last night I worked late into the night knowing I'd be able to sleep in till 10 AM the next morning... but at 8 AM I was awakened by the sounds of my mom and dad discussing something REALLY LOUDLY, so I lost 2 hours of good sleep. That made me bitter. I'm going to love living on my own. I've never done so before, it's always been with roommates or family. It should be a great experience.
Right, now that that rant is over I can talk about other stuff. I won't be able to watch The Apprentice tonight because I am working hard, booyah. I'll just have a classmate give me the scoop tomorrow. Aiyah, frigging four hour lab tomorrow. So very painful to think about. I hope me and my group members understand what the hell we are supposed to do.
I am thinking about what to do with my hair for the wedding/summer. I might not cut my hair or I might. I might dye it or I might not. And if I do dye it, there's still the matter of whether to get it blue-black, bright red highlights, or an overall plum-like colour. So many options!
Guh, eyes getting weary of contact lenses. Must take them off soon. Okay, I'm out of here.
~ Temptation took over at 08:20 p.m.
I am searching for someone to do a statistical study on my academic life. I want to see if there is a direct relationship between my state of mind and the effort I put into school. Both are continuous variables, but some adjustments for bias will need to be made since I changed universities after 3 years. I postulate that feeling happy correlates with low effort, while feeling depressed correlates with high effort.
That whole last paragraph is my way of saying two things. One is that I make no sense. The other is that I hate this project. Procrastination is my middle name.
It's going to be a long week. On Friday I have to sit around for 4 hours with a carbon monoxide detector. Stupid lab. What a crappy way to spend a Friday. And my lab partners aren't totally optimal company either.
I might just burn a CD tonight. I deserve it. There are so many nice songs that I want to listen to over and over again. Wah, reminds me of how cool an iPod would be. That's one of the four techy things I want... an iPod, a digital camera, a picture taking cellphone, and a graphics tablet. Big wishes. Maybe for Christmas.
Dilemna. I was once worried that I knew more Japanese than Hindi. So I started getting more into Hindi stuff. Now I'm worried about knowing more Hindi than Japanese. What I need to do is learn the two at the same time. That and French. Hmm, I'm just thinking...
Song Languages I've Burned: English, Japanese, Mandarin, Korean, German, Spanish, ancient Romanian, Russian, Hindi. (Gee, I hope that's all of them!)
Song Languages I'm Surprised I Haven't Burned Yet: French, Italian, Tamil.
Interesting. Aren't I just a multicultural fiend?
If I don't get my ass to a club within the next two months I will seriously start one up in my basement. Strobe lights and fog machine included. Cover will be cheap, as will the drink prices... but selection will be limited. Okay, I think waaaaay too much.
I can't wait to sleep tonight. Sleep is great. Sleep makes me happy.
I have to get my hair cut, but I'm not sure when and how. I think I'll take about two inches off. As to when, that depends on how the weather acts for the next few weeks. If it's warm near the end of term, then maybe I'll get it cut then. If not, then I'll wait until just before the wedding. Gotta look good! :)
Since the BW drabbles I've been feeling inspired to write. But not to write the projects I've already got going. It's hard to go from one fandom to another with this inspiration. I can't suddenly go to Star Wars or Harry Potter from BW. It doesn't translate. I'm enthralled with Hindi film stars right now, not Jedi.
Right. That's it for the ramble of the century. Adios.
~ Temptation took over at 09:12 p.m.
Today I had the strangest urge to run down Bay St. re-enacting Kuch To Hua Hai from KHNH. It would work too, since most of that song was filmed in Toronto. I could dance in front of St. Lawrence Market or ride the TTC and feel like Preity Zinta. All I need is some emo glasses...
I'm on a dance music spree right now. Both English and Hindi dance at that. W00t for music. I'm starting to associate certain songs with SRK and it makes me happy just to listen to them. Wah. SRK is teh sexy. And Saif Ali Khan is moving up in my rankings as well.
Ugh, I need to wash my face. My makeup is beginning to annoy me. It feels like I'm wearing a layer of dirt. And I'm suddenly tired now. It's a combo of thinking how to pull off this surprise party going down soon and doing this dang Research Methods project. I hate programs that still run on DOS. Die DOS die!!
~ Temptation took over at 07:29 p.m.
I've been acquiring Hindi songs like nobody's business this weekend. It all started when I realized that I didn't have 3 assignments due on Monday. They've all become spread out due to changing due dates. So I've got more than enough time to take it easy.
Our DVD player is a piece of crap. It doesn't play pirated DVDs well anymore. It's like it got tired or something. So we need to get a new one. Thank god for Future Shop's 14 day returning policy.
I am non-stop listening to this song from the Hindi movie Asoka called O Re Kanchi. It is superfantastic. I can't wait to see the movie. We finally got it; hopefully with subtitles. I hope the psycho DVD player doesn't go all wacky on us while we watch it.
I got into something rather strange: Bollywood fanfiction. BW drabbles are fun! I am working on my first piece, a bunch of self-reflection scenes from different movies. It's a ton of fun to write!
Hey, isn't it the first day of spring or something? Oh, it fills me with joy, the very thought of warm breezes, bright skies, wearing skirts and tank tops, clear and sweet nights, sipping a daquiri on the patio, dancing among fun-loving friends... *sigh* Summer never comes too soon and leaves before you want it to.
ETA: i ams t3h cr4zy. I finished the Bollywood fic. It can be found right here, and I'd love some sort of response. Don't ask me why I'm linking from my LJ because the answer is complex and will give you a headache.
~ Temptation took over at 08:28 p.m.
Aaaaaahhhhhh! My LCD monitor has an imperfection!! There's, like, a scratch on it! An indentation! It can't be fixed! It's not a speck of dust or something, this is permanent!
The bridge of my nose hurts from wearing glasses all day long. I never realized I was this used to contact lenses. *takes off glasses* Ah, better. I just have to squint at the screen now.
I'm loving the new song by Beyonce, called Naughty Girl. It's such a clubbing song. I totally see myself grooving on the dance floor when I hear it. I can't wait to burn it onto CD so I can crank it up on my stereo or the car. Wheeee!
*sigh* I still have a thing for people who are no good for me. Something must be wrong with me. I don't deserve that kind of abuse. I'm better than that.
I can't wait to see Kill Bill Vol. 2. I'm going with my friend (the same one I saw Vol. 1 with) and her brand new boyfriend. Should be interesting ;) I'm gonna scare him with my friendliness. Works for my best friend.
~ Temptation took over at 11:34 p.m.
Omigod, someone kill meeeeeeee! I am exhausted and feeling like crap... but there's so much to do.
My biggest problem right now is my Research Methods project. I'm supposed to make a survey that questions people's attitudes about infectious diseases. But I don't have an attitude in mind that I want to investigate. I don't know enough about the subject to make a survey! At first I thought about doing salmonella, but now I'm thinking AIDS might be a better idea. Or some STD. Gah. This stuff is driving me insane.
Well, I better get started on that. Where's my textbook? Oh, underneath my pink bra. *sheepish* I don't have time to clean my room these days. I've got three assignments due this Monday. THREE! Yeesh.
Kill Bill Vol. 2 comes out Apr. 15th, right? That's right in the middle of a break during my exam period. Good good. This movie better be worth skipping studying.
I bought the cutest t-shirt today at Winners. It's red, size XS, and it's got a flying robot on the front. So happy with my purchase :) I also had a really good croissant. Best damn epidemiology class ever, hahaha!
Ugh, right. Feeling motivated. Time to work my ass off. Yay, feeling optimisitic.
~ Temptation took over at 03:49 p.m.
Let me tell you about the dream I had.
It's four or five years in the future. I can tell because I feel older somehow. Confident, in control. War has broken out between Pakistan and India, and I am part of a CIA-esque group that works for peace. We protect and promote an end to war, as well as performing the duties of bodyguard for influential supporters of our organization. For some reason, my speciality within this group is cryptography. Like Sophie in The Da Vinci Code. *shrug*
I've just finished my training and now I'm on the job, assigned to a dedicated team. We get a call that the home of our supporters has just been attacked by militants. We rush to the scene but by the time we get there it is too late. Our supporter has been kidnapped... and his wife and young son are dead. But as luck would have it, our supporter had scribbled out a note before the kidnappers took him away. The team gives the note to me to decode. I discover two important facts. Number 1: Where our supporter has been taken. Number 2: Our supporter is Shah Rukh Khan. I proceed to freak out and question the team as to why a movie star (now former movie star, since the country is at war and doesn't have time for movies anymore) has become a covert peace fighter. Seems the public viewed him as impartial towards either Muslims or Hindus. Something about him being Muslim and marrying a Hindi...
Anyway, so the team, minus myself, sets out to rescue him. I'm in charge of maintaining our base of operations, a base in disguise of a house where Shah Rukh will have asylum until he's no longer a wanted man. But something goes wrong. I'm in the house waiting for the team to get back when Shah Rukh bursts through the door, covered in blood. Ambush. My team members have been killed. But at that very moment reinforcements arrive. I have a new team now, and they go to work straight away, removing the three bullets from Shah Rukh's chest and stitching up the holes.
At this point the team leaves for a few hours and I am to watch after Shah Rukh (knocked out with pain medication) and contact our partner team hiding in a nearby town. But then the dream ended.
Pretty weird huh? I've been watching too many Hindi movies and Alias.
~ Temptation took over at 06:04 p.m.
*hyperventilates*
Omigod, having a freak out.
Too much work to do in too little time.
Too many things to be responsible for.
I need to take a deep cleansing breath. Or get drunk.
~ Temptation took over at 09:28 p.m.
Ugh, so tired. Don't wanna work. But I must. Besides, I'm skipping class tomorrow, meaning that I can sleep in. Thank god all I have to do is assignments from now until the end of the month. I couldn't handle another test or exam. Essays and projects are no problem. But anyway, yes, skipping class tomorrow. I'll take spending time with my sistah over toxicology anyday. We're going out for lunch and shopping. But we're doing her kind of shopping, not mine, meaning that I am likely to find myself in many a computers & electronics store. *shrug* That's okay, I guess.
I've already created the next layout for this blog. It's a little less complex than I usually do, but that's okay. Sometimes too much is just too much. Gee, don't I sound profound tonight? *end sarcasm*
Man, panic is such a good motivator.
~ Temptation took over at 08:32 p.m.
Breathe - Telepopmusik
I'm used to it by now. Another day, just believe. Just breathe. Just believe. Just breathe. Lying in my bed, Another day, staring at the ceiling.
I should wear a big sign around my neck that says "USELESS". You know, just to warn everyone.
A person is such a complex thing. I takes more than a lifetime to understand yourself, much less anybody else.
Everything I love is ugly. I mean really, you would be amazed.
Is it a good thing that I am too lazy and cowardly to check out of life? Sometimes I wish that my life had more pain in it or more joy in it, just so I wouldn't feel so neutral and apathetic all the time. But I'm neither here nor there, just passing through the motions, cycle after cycle until inevitably the grand machine wears down and stops completely.
Is it possible to be happy without selfishly putting your desires before everyone else's? I don't understand what I'm supposed to do. I don't understand how I'm supposed to live my life.
~ Temptation took over at 11:02 p.m.
I was watching an episode of the Simpsons yesterday, where the members of the Simpson clan fall asleep and dream that they are characters from the Bible. It was the story where Homer is Adam and Marge is Eve that got me a'thinking. I don't take the Bible literally; I like interpreting it, keeping in mind that it was written a very long time ago in an era much different from our own. A lot of my interpretations spring from ideas I got after reading Phillip Pullman's trilogy His Dark Materials.
The biblical story of original sin fascinates me. I'm a practical, logical sort of person, and I wonder what the story is supposed to represent. Adam and Eve partook of the forbidden fruit and suddenly were aware of their nakedness? I get two interprative ideas from this: A) Before the "apple", whatever that may be, humans were nothing more than the animals around them. A monkey does not realize that it is naked, or even feel any shame from the fact. This is a human quality. B) If humans became suddenly aware of nakedness, distinguishing themselves from the animals, this must have been the point where humans became sentient. Aware of their own existence and the world around them in a way that a beast cannot comprehend. But what sparked this enlightenment? Snakes and betrayals. Paradise and fruit.
We believe that our intelligence, our sentience, is what makes us better than a mere animal. But perhaps by gaining the ability to manipulate our world, to think and percieve, we have fallen farther from god?
A baby is a helpless creature. Depending on others for its survival, it knows close to nothing about the world around them. A baby is pure; it has done no harm, has caused no hurt, and knows not wrong from right. It is a clean slate, completely innocent. But as a baby grows into and child and begins to understand how the world works, what it means to be a thinking, judging human being, the child starts to lose its innocence and purity. But the child is also more aware, moving closer towards becoming a clearly thinking adult. A fully grown adult can do great things in the world using their intelligence (compassion, selflesness, honesty), but very horrible things (hate, revenge, greed) as well.
Does the mental growth of a human parallel the spiritual growth of the human race? I'm not sure. If so, we're obviously in our adult phase; moving through the world attempting to do good with our modern minds and progressive thinking... but still making huge mistakes. But as an adult grows older, moving towards the end of life and consciousness, one becomes more spiritual. It's a common trend that elders have stronger faith and more spirituality than younger adults. Will the human race come to this point as well? When the trials and tribulations of the world come into perspective and our time grows short, will we move closer to the comfort of god? I think that the answer is yes.
Okay, I have no idea if that was coherent at all. I just sorta said stuff that came to mind.
ETA: I just realized that my original fic sucks. It sucks supremo. No one would ever want to read it. So I deleted it. *salutes* As well, I am looking into getting a comment box. Pitas sucks for addons.
~ Temptation took over at 01:58 p.m.
Ganked from a random blog, at tsukikorosu.pitas.com... yeah.
Bold the things that relate to you:
1. I can not draw.
2. I have strange eating habits.
3. i am currently obsessed with maroon 5
4. I love xanga
5. I just ate a sandwich
6. I am from a house.
7. I was born in February.
8. I enjoy reading.
9. I am not on anti-depressants, yet.
10. I bite my nails like mad.
11. I am in love with Johnny Knoxville.
12. I like English class.
13. I've lost/fucked up my cell phone twice.
14. I hope someday I'll find happiness.
15. I'm about 5'6".
16. I like to watch sports.
17. I am quick witted.
18. I often stare into nothing.
19. I like board games.
20. I appreciate gratitude.
21. I can usually sleep even when I'm not tired.
22. I am too lazy.
23. I hate the smell of movie popcorn.
24. I constantly procrastinate.
25. I have done hardcore drugs before.
26. I drank alcohol before.
27. I wish I had better grades.
28. I love chocolate.
29. Stupid people amuse me, I am one of those stupid people that amuse myself
30. I hate when people judge others without knowing them.
31. I love hot chocolate
32. I like *some* kids
33. I hate cabbage.
34. I dress casually.
35. I am judgmental.
36. I don't have a favorite television show.
37. I'm not a senior in high school.
38. I dress well.
39. I go to SMS.
40. I like garlic bread.
41. I am an optimist.
42. I love winter.
43. I haven't seen Marilyn Manson in concert.
44. I can be harsh.
45. It annoys me when people disrespect nature.
46. I am a hypocrite.
47. I wish I could vote in the 2004 presidential election.
48. I am trustworthy.
49. I wish I could play guitar.
50. I want to get a hair cut.
51. The silence after a long discussion when you're trying to think of what to say next is terrible.
52. I burn my own cd's.
53. I am not passive.
54. The best thing about a guy/girl is their personality.
55. I often put others before myself.
56. I hate it when I don't understand what the lyrics of a song mean.
57. My mother is a fucking bitch.
58. I am currently smoke-free.
59. I'm half korean and half white.
60. Stupid people really confuse me.
61. I like showers.
62. I love surprises.
63. I'm not fond of confrontation.
64. Sometimes I laugh about absolutely nothing.
65. The known makes me uneasy.
66. I am perfectly comfortable with knowing that I will eventually die.
67. I hate cold showers.
68. I speak just to fill silence.
69. I am afraid of not having control over my future.
70. I wish I could visit New York again.
71. I like to keep life exciting.
72. I have ran into a tree.
73. I have walked into windows
74. I like looking at and taking pictures
75. I don't know how to play pool.
76. My favorite sport to watch is basketball.
77. I learn song lyrics quickly.
78. I like candles.
79. I like school SOMETIMES.
80. I am annoyed by phony people.
81. I have studied one language besides English in my life.
82. I don't have a favorite color.
83. I am avoiding homework, thats why I am doing this.
84. I usually hold doors.
85. I have 1 sister.
86. I don't like when people brag.
87. I had a bad camping experience.
88. I want to find love.
89. I like people with a REALLY good sense of humor.
90. I like taking my time, yet I'm impatient with others.
91. I was just on the phone.
92. I like color coordinating my clothes.
93. My hair is brown. Sort of.
94. I have never dyed my hair.
95. I reminisce to myself a lot.
96. I am fond of Dave Matthews Band.
97. I don't know who Saul Williams is.
98. I am not a needy person.
99. My bedroom is always neat.
100. I love jewellry.
~ Temptation took over at 06:36 p.m.
Things I like:
Things I don't like:
~ Temptation took over at 04:22 p.m.
TO PLAY "I NEVER", PUT AN (X) IN FRONT OF THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE AND A (_) ON THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE DONE AT LEAST ONCE. ADD ANOTHER "I NEVER" LINE OF YOUR OWN.
NEVER HAVE I EVER...
(_) DRIVEN WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED
(X) BEEN FIRED
(_) BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(X) HAD A THREESOME
(X) SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE
(X) BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(X) BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING
(_) PISSED ON MYSELF
(X) HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(X) HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(X) BEEN ARRESTED
(_) MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(_) STOLEN SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
(X) CELEBRATED NEW YEARS IN TIME SQUARE
(X) WENT ON A BLIND DATE
(_) LIED TO A FRIEND
(X) HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
(X) CELEBRATED MARDI-GRAS IN NEW ORLEANS
(_) BEEN TO EUROPE
(_) SKIPPED SCHOOL
(X) SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER
(X) BEEN FISTED AND/OR HAVE NEVER FISTED ANYONE
(X) THROWN UP IN A BAR
(X) PAID FOR SEX
(_) VOTED
(_) WENT TO POST SECONDARY SCHOOL
(X) GOT A SPEEDING TICKET
(_) HAVE BEEN (NON-PLATONICALLY) KISSED
(_) HAVE BEEN LOVED
Why do I feel ever so slighly dirty for even reading, much less completing, the above meme? *looks at answers* Heehee, I feel so refreshingly wholesome :)
I forgot, my brother is visiting today. He leaves tomorrow. I hope to god he doesn't snatch my LCD screen away with him.
~ Temptation took over at 02:54 p.m.
Aw man. My family is downstairs, being very loud while engaging in lively conversation, watching TV, and generally having a Good Time... and I am up here attempting to learn about formaldehyde toxicity. Arg. Life is hard.
I am beginning to get bored with school/the internet/life. I think I'm in a rut. I need more excitement in my world. Once spring is here and all the Beautiful People have come out of hiding, I will don my best clothes, wear my new eau de toilette and have a really good fucking time enjoying life. But until then, I'm forced to bundle up and take it slow. Warm weather is so much more conducive to fun.
I think the government should institute Blackout Day. Every August they can turn off all the power in Ontario and let us enjoy the simple life. We'll be prepared this time around. Besides, who wouldn't want a day off work? Even more importantly, who wouldn't want another opportunity to see the unadulterated night sky? Such a thing of beauty it is. For those of us who never have the chance to visit the Peruvian Andes, it'll be the next best thing to see the sky without the pollution of light that regularly marrs our nights.
~ Temptation took over at 08:23 p.m.
Just To Get By - Talib Kweli
This morning I woke up, feeling brand new and I jumped feeling my highs and my lows and my soul and my goals.Ramp - Scooter
When I was young it seemed that life was so wonderful, a miracle, oh, it was beautiful, magical. And all the birds in the trees, they'd be singing so happily, so joyfully, oh, playfully watching me.
Just thought I'd throw those in for fun. Oh man, I am SO tired today. My late nights are finally catching up with me. It always takes 2 days to feel the effects.
Wah, I have stuff to do. *runs away*
~ Temptation took over at 04:35 p.m.
The strange events of the past few weeks, culminating with yesterday's whirlwind disaster has made me reflective. Why am I the way I am? I know I'm a good human being with qualities many people wish they had; I'm cheerful, easy-going, lack the ability to worry for more than 20 minutes, calm, adaptive, intelligent, willing to listen, and carefree. But with my carefree and cheerful nature comes laziness, lack of ambition, and procrastination. The world's top people are not like me. They're like my brother, driven worrywarts who crave respect from their peers and society, who want nothing but the best in life. Me? I don't care much what people think of me. And it's easy to keep me happy; I don't need big, fancy toys. I can take a little less than the best, because the best doesn't appeal to me. Sounds idealistic and naive, eh? That's why people like me don't run the world. We don't want to. We just want to relax in our beanbag chairs, listening to Nora Jones while the setting sun shines through the window.
I'm a blunt sort of girl. I'm no Lyra Silvertongue, weaving stories like silk brocade. The fact that a person has to market themself in interviews of all sorts just seems wrong. Doing it makes me feel dirty. 'Cause in all honesty, I'm nothing special. I'm not superwoman. But I'm not horrible either. So where does that put me, the Switzerland of student recruits? *sigh* Enough contemplation for today.
I can't believe I actually thought that winter was over. What was I thinking?! Winter? Done? By early March? In Canada? I think not. The weather usually isn't warm enough until late April. I can't believe my feeble brain forgot.
~ Temptation took over at 09:43 p.m.
Whoa, it's just past 2:30 AM and I am already off to bed. That's 2 hours ahead of schedule. Go me.
~ Temptation took over at 02:38 a.m.
Fuck. Today has been a huge fucking roller coaster ride. And it sure as hell isn't over yet. The night has just begun.
Everything was fine this morning. Yet somehow I managed to end up rushing to catch my train. My makeup and hair were not done properly, and I never put on any earrings. Then I was on the train, reviewing my Hygiene notes for the midterm I was about to write, and realized that I couldn't go straight home after the exam because we had a friggin three hour lab. It just made my Monday longer.
I got to class a little late because I had to get lunch on the way up. Upon sitting down with my classmates I come upon two important factoids: 1) I have a 5 page essay due tomorrow that I haven't even started yet, and 2) the first Hygiene lab was due today, right then, right now, and I hadn't even looked at it. *cries* I couldn't believe it. Funny thing was, I had been sitting on the train thinking about how I had once done the exact same thing in grade 4, which was about 13 years ago. Freaky.
Freaky or not, I was in hot water. I nearly had a panic attack when my prof handed out the exam and I didn't know a lot of the answers. I was this close to snapping, with all the frustrations I had experienced throughout the day. But I perservered, did well (I think) on the exam, finished the lab in record time, came home, ate dinner, had a lively (yet raucous) discussion with the family about moving to another city... and here I am.
I've got lots do to tonight. I better go drink some coffee.
~ Temptation took over at 07:51 p.m.
My ischial tuberosity hurts.
This means that I have been sitting on my ass for too long.
Or that I need my ass cushion. Or that my ass need more padding, otherwise known as body fat.
I think it's time to climb into bed.
~ Temptation took over at 11:13 p.m.
So Friday afternoon, my computer monitor starts flickering like mad and smelling like burnt fuses. Needless to say I turned my whole system off and unplugged the monitor. No fires in my room, thanks. But then I had to live without my computer for 2 days. I never realized how dependant I am on this thing. Those two days were painful. But the reward for my suffering was amazing... LCD MONITOR!! Woohoo! It is so funktacular, and I've got so much room on my desk now. My computer has truly been reborn :) My brother's gonna flip out when he comes home and sees it. I think I've been bitten by the techie bug. I really want to acquire a digital camera now, amongst other things.
Blech, it's snowing outside. Not only is it snowing, but the snow is staying on the ground. Boooooo! I want my springtime dammit.
~ Temptation took over at 02:01 p.m.
Alright, I'm back. Woo, that was a whirlwind affair; I printed out a resume and cover letter, then drove like a maniac down to the company plant to present my goods to Human Resources. Stressful stuff. But hopefully things will work out. Apparently a friend of mine works there every summer, so it would be cool to work there and hang out with a pal.
Whoa, the downpour has suddenly stopped and the sun is shining. Wah, so spring-like :) It doth filleth me with joy. I think I will do my nails this fine afternoon.
Ah, so many things to do. But thank god it's the weekend. Another day of school would have killed me. I'm becoming rather intolerant of the whole thing. Boring classes are turning into torture sessions. The entire thing is one crazy fiasco these days. So now you've got these disenchanted young adults who want to work right now. But I have friends who keep saying that once you leave school you can never go back... and those are good times whether you appreciated them or not. I'm not sure if I want to be a yuppie, but I sure as hell want to start living my own life.
~ Temptation took over at 01:57 p.m.
Graaaggghhh! What an awful test! I haven't been this pissed off since the CHEM 112 final back in '01. There was stuff on the test she specifically told us not to study! Motherfucking piece of crap! WTF does she think she's doing?! I swear, that lady is truly messed up. I can't believe people put up with her.
Alright, enough of that. Dump the tension. Must concentrate on the future. I've got one more exam to go next week. But that doesn't mean that the fun begins after that. It just means that I'll finally have time to do upcoming assignments. I really should fill out my To Do list with all the things I need to do for the next two months. I can't wait till this year is over. Summer is always the best.
W00t, I just found out I might have another possible job opportunity! And not just any job opportunity, but one that pertains to my long-term career! So happy! Must prepare an up to date resume and cover letter ASAP. Toodles.
~ Temptation took over at 12:35 p.m.
Whoa, I completely forgot about the new layout. Was expecting light blue and Sakura-chan and was so confused to see trippy sky instead.
Arg, I'm tired. And I have a big fat freaking exam tomorrow. It shouldn't be too bad. Hmm, famous last words. Naw, it'll be fine. I hope. My track record as far as exams are concerned has not been good for the past few months. That's how I feel, at least. Like a cloud of impending doom is hovering over me. *sigh* School sucks. Gotta love the way life is totally not about what you really want.
I can't decide whether I'm afraid of failure or afraid of losing my dream. Why don't I ever try? Is it because I don't care? Or is it because I don't want to know that my best isn't good enough? Maybe I'm just plain lazy.
Hey, I never knew March 21st is Mothering Sunday in the UK. Does that mean that on that day no excuse a child gives is good enough to stop a mother from being aggravatingly mother-like? Er, now I'm just rambling. Whatever. I'm gonna finish my SW fic this weekend. Yeah.
~ Temptation took over at 09:39 p.m.
New layout! It's not as cool as the last one. It's actually pretty plain. But I'm proud to say that I created it myself, from scratch. Credit for the brushes Starfield and Strange_1 goes to VBrush. Hmm, this layout really reminds me of version 1, colour-wise. Ah well, it is nice and simple. I'm not sure how long it will last, me being a layout whore and all.
I worked on my SW fic a bit last night. I find that I'm having problems getting into the characters' heads. They have led such traumatic lives, and I am so well adjusted. I can't relate to them as a writer. I'm afriad I might end up writing stuff that's too cliche and offers no insight into the characters' thoughts and feelings. I am also pretty sure I'm abandoning the HP fic. The dream is dead. But the orginal fic moves on... though I might end up re-writing the whole beginning to sound more mysterious and interesting. *sigh* Man, I wish I could really write!
Okay, that's enough for now. I need to study anyway. Oh, and I archived. Imperfectly at that; I let one March post in. Gah! That really annoys me. Thank goodness I'm good at letting go.
~ Temptation took over at 09:13 p.m.