Not stated in any particular order...
1. Lots of Ritter Sport chocolate!
2. A mini-fridge for my room
3. New soccer boots
4. Squier Bullet Special electric guitar
5. More shirts
6. A newer and better handphone
7. Conversion of several friends of mine to Catholicism
8. An enjoyable day out during Christmas
9. A thousand dollar Kinokuniya book voucher would be awesome.
10. Last but not least, just a day of peace, love and happiness in the world and in me.
I'm listening to Creed's "Higher" right now.
Well, the past few days have been fun. Going out with Hazel and Melissa, meeting up with the others in church for Mass or for the Nativity filming. I've got something on at SPH again this afternoon before I rush back to church to meet up with the rest again.
The past few days have been quite thought-provoking as well. Seeing Fabian Gilbert totally change his character overnight after YES camp, seeing my close friend break down in front of me, having my Dad shout at me after returning home at midnight again, hmm, and many other things... You know, those sorta things. Each of them in a way have led me to think about how significant I am in many ways to others. Yet the loneliness still remains in me. Haha.
Christmas draws nearer and I'm pretty sure that I've totally lost feelings for the Christmas charm of old. I can still recall those days when it was such a big deal, during those few weeks before Christmas. Funnily, I don't seem to have that same joyful, feverish anticipation in me anymore. I'm still looking forward to it, but right now, Christmas seems to be just another benchmark for self-assesment... Damn, I really do want to be happy again this Christmas. We'll see how lah.
Oh yeah. My birthday's coming too.
I'm totally exhilirated and the only thing I'm thinking of right now is praising God. What I got, was complete spiritual renewal. Ha, I am refreshed! Praise the Lord!
Here are a few photos, all taken by Erica Pereira:
Nearly everyone from YES Camp! See the two windows on the right. I'm immediately between. Wow I'm tall.
Last Major Gathering of Eurasians
Kidding. Your friendly neighbourhood Eurasians aren't going extinct yet. I think.
Front from the left: David Phipps, Russel Cardoza, Erica Pereira (sitting), Mark Pereira. Rear from the left: Kenneth Thexeira, Michelle Phipps, Steph Neubronner, Gary Fernandez (sitting), Daryl Gomes (me). The guy in black is Fr. Brian D'Souza.
Guess what shitheads. I'm going to stop bemoaning away on my poor little blog. Depression does things to the mind and much more to my ability to reason. I'm boring the shit out of my readers and am ruining everyone's holiday mood.
Let me begin...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAhha! Alright guys, I needed that. What can I say? I had dumped myself into an endless cycle of self-torment and unrealism. Give me a break. Sure, I'm still depressed and all but that doesn't mean Lyrad@PainInTheAsS.com has to suffer. Haha!
Alright people. YES camp is coming, and I will now engage myself in self-preparation. Instead of looking outwards and attempting in vain to peer through the pitiful facade of fallacious human behaviour, I will now take a deep glance at my own pathetic self. Yes, YES camp is coming.
Adios amigos. I go now to my bed.
I'm going to follow Carine's example and clean up my room. Ha, nah, just that my new computer's coming over tomorrow so I'll need to clear the junk in my room first. Heh.
Right. Loss. I've been coping with it better than expected. I've got to thank all my friends for all the great times and outings we've been having in the past few days. Meanwhile, yes, I've been attending daily Mass too. Mass nowadays just seem to restore some sense of peace within me, and that's something I really need right now.
Yes, still currently thinking about something else, and still without knowing what to do. To those who know what I'm talking about, here's the update: things are out in plain light, but the reply was of all and nothing. Sheer brilliance, told you right? I'm still undecided, but things will progress soon I hope.
YES! Camp is coming! This is one life-changing experience I will not regret. All the efforts put in by us youths, both facilitators and participants in getting more people to join the camp will not be regretted. Already, people like Justin Selvam, Fabian Gilbert... and a few others, have been brought back from uncertainty to pure resolve merely through the power of prayer! Praise the Lord. Ha, to end this entry, I'll use something called expectant faith...
I thank you Lord, for changing my life through the YES camp. I thank you Lord, for making everything fine in my life with her. I thank you Lord, for giving me new life, with her.
Hahaha, expectant faith? Get it? I'm just going to have faith. I know my entries are becoming extremely un-Darylish but I'll get back to writing properly once I do have something to write about. Till then, enjoy yourselves, all.
Bloody. Got back from the Post Con. Chalet 3 hours ago, so yes, damn I'm shagged. Had a great time at the beach though, haha! A bunch of guys buried Sam. Yeo in the sand as a birthday treat and shoved sand down her pants as a gift later on. And that was done at what, 10pm, when she wanted to go home? Haha, crazy shit. I'm just the innocent spectator who just happened to chance upon them.
Alright, I'm going to catch some shut-eye. I want to go get a haircut later and then rush down to the beach for the Youth BBQ! Yes, great party coming up. Will be quite amusing to see 40-50 youths descending on a single BBQ pit. There'll definitely be lots of crazy stuff and pranks so I'm bringing extra underwear.
I'm talking like a bum yeah? Ha, no worries, I'll get over this soon. I'm just really tired while at the same time looking forward to some funny crap. I'm only being sorta vulgar cos' my brain just can't seem to string some nice and coherent sentences together without some sorta shit in it at the moment.
By the way, note to all: Dan Brown is cashing in on all you conspiracy buffs. He's no genius, just someone who surfs the Net for intrigues and anxiety. People nowadays seem to yearn for some backstabbing conspiracy formed by the Govt or the Church. And because of that, dear Dan is making it big. Wish I had thought of that first. Argh.
Currently thinking about something. Wish I knew what to do.
Last archived entry:
Wednesday, December 1, 2004
A Funeral For Me.They say, the worst pain possibly felt... is through the death of a loved one. Today, I feel it... And I can't seem to bring myself back from that edge of despair. Life goes on, and I hope I do. The fairy tale has ended, here comes the nightmare.
Yet, I wait for the dawn. With light comes hope, and another beginning. A time where, perhaps things can be renewed. Where I will find myself. Where all will be alright again. For now, I await in silence and darkness. I hope, I pray... I pray for myself.
I will survive this. But the pain will remain. My pain... Just mine. More bitter it is... to bear it alone. But I won't hate... I will continue to love... Alone perhaps, but with an honest heart...
Jesus Christ, I pray today, raise me from the lonely dead.
Ha, I'm feeling a little alright now. Just had a chat with David, and yes people, I have been going to church every single day. Church is my booze! Praise the Lord for that. Karl Marx is probably turning in his grave for quoting him in such a manner. Sigh, call it escapism. Meanwhile, yes, pray for me.
The "Youth Empowered By The Spirit" Camp (YES Camp) is coming up next and I sure am looking forward to it. What I really need now is God and some purpose to live. It's been great bumming with friends and chilling out everywhere but I can't stay like this forever. I still wake up depressed. Argh. The pain. Argh.
Its funny how life can just kick you in the ass. I'm not one to give in to it, but I'm not one to pretend I'm smarter than God either. Thinking about things now, I'd have been oh so-filled with anger, resentment and rebellion just slightly more than a year ago. Haha, I've learnt to just accept things. So yes I've grown... and surprisingly, it surprises me.
All You Need To Know About Me
Hello! My name is Daryl Alphonsus Gomes. Sylvester is my Confirmation name but for some reason I've temporarily stopped using it. I'm Portuguse Eurasian-Chinese but noone seems to be able to tell. I'm born on the last day of the year so I took the O levels a year earlier than everyone else.
Just like everyone else, I'm a really nice guy. At first glance serious, the second, just thinking. If you get to know me better, I'm more fun than Grandma is on Chinese New Year. I look out for all my close friends and am always there for my other friends. I'm happy-go-lucky by nature and lazy by default. I'm serious at the right times while hardworking if you pressure me hard enough (hehe).
I love hanging out with friends, engaging in activities like 'chilling-out' and 'bumming'. I adore books, especially those with no pictures. I 'pwn ur newbie arse' in computer games and am definitely a challenging opponent at word games. You can find me online in MSN at my Late Night Talkshow. I love sports like soccer. Coca-Cola meanwhile is my water. I'd party and storm town everyday if you'd be so kind to donate. I play the guitar because I can't read musical notation. I listen to all kinds of music except techno.
I dislike most Chinese cuisine and am a fussy eater. McDonald's could give me a lifetime discount card and they still won't lose money. I don't like tea but coffee is a must. I love dark chocolate, but I have yet to eat the chocolates at 'Sins'. I dislike bimbos and ppl hu slohter e engrish langwage lorhzzxxzx. I wish people didn't dye their hair to look Western when they wouldn't be able to converse with Westerners anyway given their manner of speech. I don't like superficiality. I value maturity a lot.
I love God who has given me this life to mess with. I love God who draws me to Him although I'm such a sinner. I thank God for giving me brains and helping me mature through those years of angst and bitterness. I thank Him for love and friendships. I thank Him for giving me some purpose in life and I thank Him most of all for even bothering about me.
I'm dangerously witty and extremely lame. My self-confidence makes me what I am. I wish I had someone to talk to about all the messy stuff in my head. You see, thats why I like smart and mature people. Haha.
Sigh.
