Thursday, January 8, 2004 | [Juggling Life]

I am struggling.. It was easy for me to say 'forgive and forget' during the holidays but its getting tougher as I begin to get back into interacting with others on a daily basis at school. And humans are supposed to be social creatures? Or maybe I'm just different. Bah, whats new?

Its tough. Temptation everywhere. I do not want to fall back to being all... vengeful and lashing out at others. I just want to get through the rest of secondary school life without fucking up other people's life. And yes, its tough. Some idiots keep on doing stuff which, if I was a little bit less conscious about my actions... would have exploited for pure malicious fun! Aww damn this is tough. Yeah I know, I've said it several times already. But it is!

Funny. When suddenly you have your actions and your conscience(God?) foremost in mind... you start feeling all messed up and weird during one of those moments. You know, those moments where the little devil pops up on your left and an angel on my right. Funny thing is, neither looks like me. Damn.

[08:36 p.m.]

Tuesday, January 6, 2004 | [Quickie]

A quick one. VillagePhotos have cut off external linking. What does this mean for blogs everywhere!? :o Nothing, just that you guys have to resort to...*shudder* Angelfire...

Oh yeah, the new school policy on enforcing the school attire rule is senseless. The damned school could spend more time encouraging creativity instead of uniformity. Thats what we get for having an old conservative woman as principal. And if its a councillor reading this, you can run off to the principal now. You should know by now that I dont care.

[04:18 p.m.]

Friday, January 2, 2004 | [Taking a step.]

If you're born in 1988, you've probably received the same speech from your teachers as I did. And yes, I have been thinking heavily about the O levels for the past few months.

Where do I want to go? My goal, for the year, is to do well enough to get into VJC. I know a few people who have scoffed at the idea of anyone from my school ever going there, but considering the fact that I have always thought that my school doesnt deserve me, well... its time I proved it now right?

In any case, I will certainly need to study hard. My plan was to hit the books after school in the school/church canteen daily after school, and to really change my attitude towards homework (LOL). As my father has been telling me for the past decade... "nothing good comes without some sweat and blood.." I can assure you that I'm determined to put in some sweat.. and maybe a little blood now and then. However... I fear distraction.

ANYONE, who knows me will know the fact I am VERY easily distracted. There have been many situations when I put forth all my heart and attention into something, but on the whole, studying just doesn't happen to be one of them. My plan is, to firstly ask God for guidance, and to get the people around me to keep me motivated. Like I've asked a few of you to do, BUG ME. Anytime I'm wasting my time on weekdays, just REMIND me of my GOALS for the YEAR. I mean, I'll still try to enjoy myself on weekends... But I think I'll be spending quite a lot of time at home this year.

And for the people in my class... I PRAY to God that a few people in particular have the sense to NOT waste curriculum time this year. Of all years, this certainly isn't one of them. No more stupid bickering with the teacher, or showing tantrums just because you feel like it (you all know who I'm talking about). And do us all a favour guys, stop pushing Ms. See around.. I mean, geez, just because she's one of the kindlier teachers doesnt mean she's stupid.

MOTHER TONGUE: BANE OF MY EXISTENCE

My worst subject. The most hated subject. The one and only stumbling block. Mother tongue. Stupid malay language. Honestly, I have to blame myself; I have absolutely no interest in the Malay language. You can't blame me... I didn't note the importance of MT in Singapore's education system when I was younger.. So obviously I couldn't be bothered to read a Malay novel. Honestly, the genres are so limited, how the hell am I supposed to enjoy myself while reading. Of course, I could just read the book without enjoying it... but don't forget the fact I'll be referring to a dictionary every few sentences. Ouch, the pain...

I still have to pass it no matter what. Thank God for the fact that I can just pass it and not use it for my L1R5. I just fear not being able to even pass it. Sure, there's always syllabus B, but I really, really do not want to waste the latter part of the year studying Malay when I COULD have just passed it and used the time for my other subjects.

I'm grateful that my MT teacher is giving me that extra attention... and I really do want to pass. In fact, I wish to improve on my MT, because... it's still gonna be there when I go to JC! The thing is, I don't use the language. I have no interest. I can't appreciate it, the language just doesn't have those... admirable subtleties that the English Language has... (when well-used, of course) I'm being completely bias here. Well, I've made my decision. I really, honestly want to pass it, even do well(>B4) if I can. I've just gotta put in those hours I guess... Sigh. Goodness people, help me out here!

SO, here it is:
My goal: To do well enough to get into VJC
By what means do I wish to attain it: Extra hours and perspiration, and God of course
Sacrifices?: Painful hours staring at incomprehensible Malay words... Computer time... Sleep...
Daryl, so do you think you can do it: Wait a minute, this is Daryl here. Of course I can do it. (trademarked overconfident smirk)

LOL seriously? Its time I took my father's advice... No more overconfidence. I mean, he's said it to me... It seems that both my Dad's and my Mom's confidence in schooling combined to become OVERconfidence in their eldest son. Compliment? I don't know. It's time I stepped it up though... and I've GOTTA stop leaving all my work on the back burner... Ha, good luck to all! My advice is that you guys do some self-examination as well... daryl signing out~

[09:29 p.m.]

Friday, January 2, 2004 | []

test

[08:35 p.m.]