1. I've been engaging more actively in Day of Defeat lately. I recall the old days heading the guilds while playing MMPOGs... So I decided to join a clan. I joined one in February and I've quickly risen to the rank of Senior member, a rank most of the others take a few months to obtain ^-^

In any case, I've also been writing scripts for SGDOD.com's Dropzone events as well. They've been liking my work a lot (maybe its because I'm actually willing to research and write), and they made me Neutral Judge of SGDOD (high rank in the gaming community here). It's crazy I tell you. All the things that I didn't want happening this year IS happening to me. In any case, my clan is understanding and they're letting me off on study leave for the second half of the year. Lucky for me, I joined a terrific clan, with most of the members around 14-17 years old, unlike the other clans with really old and serious people with no life other than DOD. Anyway, I hope I do manage to stay offline though when the time comes.

2. Meanwhile, my church life has taken a slip. Ever since school resumed its tedious, backbreaking routine, I've been more often away from church then near it. Both literally, and spiritually. The other day, one of the facilitators from last year's Confirmation camp stopped me and asked what was going on. He was wondering why I wasn't active in church when I was so into the Spirit back then. I can assure you I'm feeling a tad horrible about it. I've decided to go for Post-Con sessions now and then to bolster me spiritually. I just hope I follow my own decisions.

3. 'O' Levels Mother Tongue Exam is coming. It's the first exam, but also the one I'm most scared of. Holy crap, this is the ultimate test! It will be my last (important) Malay exam! Since they won't really be looking at my Mother Tongue results for University, I can say that this is the final hurdle (Thanks be to God!).

But is this an obstacle too high? I'm scared to death. Yet just only a few days ago I realised I've done more whining then studying (mutters: expected...). Somehow, I hope that my so-called comfort in talking with strangers will help pull my Oral results up. But still, I'm really terrible at Paper 2. Yes, the bulk of the marks. I just don't, and never POSSESSED the vocabulary to get through Paper 2. I did pass Malay in Primary School, but as I soon found out, Mother Tongue took a little more effort than just a few memorised words in Secondary School.

Bah, but I'm Daryl. Somehow, I know I can pull through. A few good memorised chunks of vocabulary and a good eye for copying (I wish) would get me through it. I'm gonna try to speak Malay (urgh) for once. Whatever it is, I've got to try. I just hope I can do it.

I'm an idiot, I know that. I spend most of my time wishing, hoping, speculating. I need a purpose to drive me, and usually that purpose needs people driving it. At the beginning of the year, I wrote an entry which urged everyone around me to PUSH, EGG, ANNOY ME... to do whatever it takes to get me to work, for my own good. Note that in those three little things I wrote above, I ended each of them with a "I hope...". I really do hope. And I wish I could stop hoping and begin doing.

Daryl Alphonsus Gomes owns you.