|
:: Mystical Musician ::
Anyway, if you ever need to contact me or are
interested in what I do:
****Email: littlelyn9175@yahoo.com
****AIM/AOL: sTeALiNgYERsOcKS, LotRingofDoom,
OtakuKoneko
****YahooIM: littlelyn9175
****Homepage: RDQ
****Fictionpress Account: Fluffy
:: Don't Let Me Down ::
psst.. hey... I love you.
~@~#~@~#~@~#~@~#~@~#~@~#~@~#~@~#~@~#~@~#~@~#~@~
[ 6 / 09 / 04 - 12:39 pm ]
Mood: so happy, it's sickening
Song: "Popular" ~Wicked
Quote: “Hello out there in Trinitaland. I'm Sister Anne,
and I like dogs. Big brown dogs.” ~Justin
(*************************************)
Today was an awesome day. I got to Trinita about 10
minutes earlier than usual - about 5 of 8 - and did dishes
and stood around helping here and there for about 35
minutes until Justin came, then I helped clean up some
more at the end of breakfast for a bit, then I went into
the volunteer & staff room, where I got a purdy orangey
multicolored (sorta) butterfly tattoo on my cheek. Then
Christa came, then morning circle, then peer groups.
In peergroup, we had to give everyone "gifts." We were
given sheets of paper with boxes on them, and in each
box was:
To: [name]
From: [my name]
My Gift: [some compliment to them]
I wrote about 12 out of 15, and I dont know how many I got,
but it was quite funny considering that I got two that
simply said "Pudding"... and Christa got some "Buffalo"
and "Pepperoni". It was awesome.
There was a meeting in the meeting room (durr) for teen
volunteers afterwards, though the beginning of our meeting
was jumping in on the closing prayer of the adult
peergroup. It was very nicely done- offering up petitions
and everyone all holding hands in reverence. The meeting
was good too.. just guidelines/duties and all that jazz.
A few times during the day Cwi and I went into the
meeting room and hung out with Justin, taking a break. I
discovered how veryveryvery ticklish he is. ^.^ heeheehee
>_< but he returned the favor... TT_TT I have never been
tickled so much in my entire life... ahhh!
The fiesta in and of itself was very nicely done. The
skits were halarious (at least, the comedic ones, the one
where the mothers danced to the song was so beautiful,
Mary G's song was pretty, and Sugars song was incredibly
touching and gorgeous) The ice cream sundaes 1/2 way
through were delicious... mmmmm... XD I kept putting my
head on Justin's shoulder. I was sleepy.. he happens to
have a very comfortable shoulder! ^_^; We also kept
tickling each other throughout the night. And it REALLY
sucked, cause I had to fight myself from twitching and
squeaking. Later, Christa & I played ping pong and rolled
down the hill! Whee! (ya know, Cwi... we really suck at
that game...!! hahaha)
[ 6 / 07 / 04 - 10:21 pm ]
Mood: in shock
Song: "Pridelands" ~Lion King (original broadway cast)
Quote: “Remember this.... I'm crazy, and I'm not afraid
to go to jail... or hell.” ~Christa
(*************************************)
I haven't vented in quite a while... hm. Oh well, whatever.
I'd just like to take the time to say....
Christa - I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!! Britt - u rock!
Jaci - ur the best! Kirsten - wow u scare me (howd u know?)
Yeah.
BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
ok im good. ^_^<3
[ 5 / 29 / 04 - 02:18 pm ]
Mood: so confused... I need answers!
Song: "Hey Mr. Wonderful" ~SMiLE.dk
Quote: “A dark power is born from the grief of lost love,
so any kind of love should not be wasted.”
(*************************************)
AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I never thought this would happen... @_@;
...; this love that thou hast shown
Doth add more grief to too much of mine own.
Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs;
Being purged, a fire sparkling in lovers' eyes;
Being vex'd a sea nourish'd with lovers' tears:
What is it else? a madness most discreet,
A choking gall and a preserving sweet.
A choice? A choice.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I —
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
I hate decisions. I can never make the right ones. How can
I tell here, and now, what to choose? My heart is very fickle,
it changes nearly as often as the winds change their
direction. I can't hurt my friends, I can't hurt my
friendships. Though, I can't hurt myself either. I don't
know if this is love, if it's lust, or if it's just "like."
Argh, I just can't choose. I'm going to pray that the issue
isn't pressed, isn't pushed, because I don't want any
more pain to be caused on my part. Decisions, decisions.
I do not want to play this game any more.
TT__TT it makes me so happy, yet it makes me so confused...
[ 5 / 27 / 04 - 10:07 pm ]
“Mommy”
~Yours Truly
I gave you a chance.
I gave you a choice.
It’s a pity you killed me
before you heard my voice.
I thought you wanted me –
that’s why I came
into your life.
What would’ve been my name?
Mommy, my Mommy:
she didn’t want me anyway.
I guess she didn’t know
that fifteen minutes could make a life.
She never saw humanity in that embryo.
I don’t care if you didn’t love him.
You should have seen
how much of you was in me.
You can’t toy with life to fit your every whim.
Perhaps you didn’t want
to change my diapers.
Perhaps you didn’t want
to feed me, to hold me,
to console me, to love me.
Did you hate me that much?
Mommy, what did I do wrong?
How could just living be a crime?
If you gave me life, why take it away?
Unnatural death, you murderer!
You didn’t have to like me-
someone would have adopted me.
At least, they’d love me more than you.
Perhaps you didn’t want
to buy me toys, or tiny clothes.
If I had lived, if I was born,
wouldn't you be proud
if I had made it on the honor role?
I still love you,
though you don’t love me.
I still wish with all my soul
that you never got that abortion.
It’s hard now to realize
that I will never laugh,
though I’ll never cry.
I wonder if it’s hard on you.
Mommy, I wish you loved me enough
to give me a life, to let me be born.
Mommy, I wish you loved me enough
to so much as tell me my name.
Obviously, this poem I wrote a looong while ago is about
abortion. It's really such an awful subject and it always
gets me depressed to think of it. :( I just had to write
a poem about it, though. I don't know why I'm posting it
here just now, when I made it way back around March-ish
times... oh well.
I've gotten quite a few reactions to this poem, I was
pleased with it though. Only one or two people just
didn't get it, some of my friends said it made them want
to cry, strangers off fictionpress.com have asked for my
permission JUST to print a copy to show his friends,
and it's been shown to the head of a pro-life commitee
too (I think.. how did that turn out, Justin?).. Whereas
others have been amazed, touched, impressed... So,
please be sure to tell me your reaction, too, and not
only for this poem, for any poem here and my rantings too.
geez, now im all depressed from rereading/retyping
my own poem!!!!
[ 5 / 27 / 04 - 09:54 pm ]
"BUMP"
~Yours Truly
In a land where happiness reigns,
and love is the law above all else,
something eerie is taking place.
The shadows are beginning to grow.
Taking root, taking hold.
“Truth” and “Reality” have been born.
And things go “bump” in the night.
The children’s songs are fading,
and their parents become more distant.
Shrieks of laughter starting to become
newly formed shrieks of fear, muddled in tears.
I feel the joy, the love, waning
as all I’ve known starts changing.
And things go “bump” in the night.
Familiarity is a dream now.
A smile, it is woeful now.
Regretfully we hope for the best.
Does the future really exist?
Tears flowing, blood dripping.
Everything in my world is deteriorating.
And things go “bump” in the night.
Welcome to my newly made Wonderland
You won’t want to stay for long.
When you take my heart, don’t break it.
On your way out, please shut the door.
Cloaked in darkness,
Disoriented, everyone stumbles.
And things go “bump” in the night
Bravery is made up only in stories.
Where did my faerie-tale-life go?
When you left, everything crumbled.
Still waiting for my Knight in Shining Armor
to take me away on his stallion, but,
for now, I’m hiding underneath the covers.
And things go “bump” in the night.
Every single day I sit and pray
for everything to go back to before.
I want to live in Neverland again.
Let me be your Faerie Princess once more.
Take me away from where the monsters roam,
Where the dawn of joy will never come,
And things go “bump” in the night.
[ 5 / 27 / 04 - 09:49 pm ]
"I Want Immaturity"
~Yours truly
DISTRACT me
With another shiny toy
Get me side-tracked
Try to hide me from the ploy -
Don’t tell me what to do, you’ll just discourage me
and don’t you dare touch my toys, your fingers are filthy.
Inevitability, oh, let me dream.
Inevitability, oh, give me a head start
and let me run and hide.
I will run as fast as I can.
You’ll never catch me, you’ll never tag me.
I will get to “BASE” because I know I can.
I don’t want to grow up
I want to spin around till I throw up
Give me my TEDDY
and let me suck my thumb
I don’t need school,
I don’t mind being dumb.
FATE, waiting to take me down.
FATE, just twiddling her thumbs
as she counts up to one hundred.
She better not be peeking,
but have both eyes closed tight.
99, 100, and I’ll give her one hell of a fight.
Don’t make me change and
Don’t make me start to grow old.
Immaturity is where I want to be.
I’ll tell you to look under there
And then giggle insanely
‘cause you just said “UNDERWEAR”
We’ll have parties in our primary school
The kind where EVERYONE gets a valentine.
I’ll eat candy and jump around until I get sick
Got pizza for breakfast, and I got my soccer ball.
I can destroy the whole house
with one single kick.
I don’t need insecurities
I just need my dreams
And a bedtime story late at night
where nothing is what it seems.
I want to SEE the world again
Through the eyes of a child
Gold and silver shining powder
Glitter everywhere
I don’t care about my messed up hair
nor how crooked is my smile.
I want to LIVE my life again
As simply as a child.
[ May 26, 2004 - To You ]
Mood: kind of mopey.. pleasant, but bored
Song: "Kissy, Kissy" ~SMiLE.dk
Quote: “A dark power is born from the grief of lost love, so any kind of love should not be wasted.”
(*************************************)
When I first met you, a cold, hard distant part of me made
me block you out and tease you ever because of what you
seemed to me. All I knew of you was your outer shell -
a shallow representation of your meaningless reputation.
Yet, once we began to meet more and more often, I began
to change the way I viewed you; even my whole outlook
on life. I was one of them - the haters of all things
that move - but now I can safely say that I am simply me.
I saw and observed your ways and habits, and my heart
gave into your spell. Once I fell, I knew I wouldn't get
up. You made it easier for me to realize that you can
still be 'classified', so to speak, into one of the
lesser classes of high school nature, yet still be an
awesome person and a great friend. You taught me that
even cruel, twisted, and pessimistic minds can still be
loving and caring unconditionally. We became understanding
of each other, and though we tease and joke, we may
even call each other friends. No longer will I look at
someone and only see their outer core, but I will search
for their true inner selves and embrace that opportunity.
I found you and looked down upon you with disgust,
foolishly, on my part. I cannot apologize enough nor
chastise myself nearly as much as I need to absolve myself
of this. You have a thin outer layer making you appear
as if you could be stereotyped into something lesser.
However, you are actually a really 'cool' person, and
you are most definately something grander and greater to
behold. Upon realizing this what seems so long ago, I
can see you in a drastically different light than as
before.
I respect you now, and I'd obey you and only you. You
stole the key to my shallow, iron-cast heart and you
broke my cage into a billion shards. You brought my
tender faults and weaknessess back out into the world
to feel the joys of it, rather than be locked away to be
safe and cut-off from harm's way. I can feel the breeze
caress my face and the ocean spray misting my cheeks.
I feel the sun's warmth envigorate me and the night's
darkness embrace and revive me. You changed me into
something great. Someone who I should have been all
along this time - just... me. Thank you, my dearest
friend and truest love. I'll always praise you for this
transformation you have encouraged, not pushed, me to
undergo. Even if we fade away out of each others
memories, I will always love you.
[ May 25, 2004 - Friendship / Love Rant ]
Mood: good.... just..... really good.
Song: "Misty" ~Nat King Cole
Quote: "Walk my way, and 1000 violins begin to play,
Or it might be the sound of your hello,
that music I hear,
I get misty, the moment you're near."
(*************************************)
Isn't it strange how friendship works? It truely is a
bizarre thing. One minute your friend could get you to
start laughing until you cry about absolutely nothing,
and the next, he or she could find you crying, and let
you cry until you're laughing. He or she could just sit
with you on the phone for hours where neither of you say
anything, but just breathe to acknowledge each other's
presence, and that phonecall still comforts you, without
having to rant about your troubles. Nevertheless, if
need be, one's friend will always be there if you needed
to rant, and will probably rant with you. Even if time
and inevitable conflicts pull you away from each other,
you'll find your way back.
Friendship is one of the greatest things one could have.
I believe that it could possibly be even greater than
Love, if it remains true. With Love, there is always
the chance of being weathered down, fading away,
rejection, delusion, mistakes. With real and true
friendship, you'll stay together for years, even without
knowing it. Your friends will shape you, even without
you knowing it. I find myself slowly becoming a little
less shy and a little bit braver at the end of each week.
I find myself slowly evolving from what I pretended to
be and into what I am because of my variety of friends.
My friends are shaping me to be better, not changing me,
though, and I love them for that. They all had the
kindness to accept me without knowing me, and I can only
hope I could do the same to others some day, when I'm
ready. Hell, I'm volunteering to do a friggin solo
piece infront of the entire orchestra with just Kelly
and our lovely instruments. I would have thrown up at
the mere *thought* of doing that last year. And yet, I
V-O-L-U-N-T-E-E-R-E-D. I dont volunteer - whachutalkinbout?!
This shaping, these marks every single one of my friends
(and I really mean EVERY one) has made upon my character,
will affect me for the rest of my life. I love you all,
I hope you love me too. Your faces may fade from my
memory, but I have your names circled in my yearbooks.
Your laughs may echo in my ears until they become nothing,
but all those good feelings you gave me while we were
laughing gave me great esteem and inspiration. I may
forget who you are, I may never meet you again, but I
want you all to know that I will never forget what you
have done to who I am. If it weren't for my orchestra geeks,
bandies, and music nerds, I may have never crawled out
of under my rock, poked my head out of my turtle shell, and gotten a whiff of the adventure in world that's
waiting for me. This is why I see Friendship as being
better than Love. You won't betray me, and if you really
did have my friendship and I yours, we won't get tired
of being there for each other, we won't let minor
troubles come between us and destroy us. Truth be told,
fake friendship happens, and you can tell it's there
because a small pebble thrown can start an avalanche,
whereas true friendship is like a pebble thrown into a
still lake - the ripples formed are only there for a few
moments, yet they separate and fade away almost
immediately.
Thanks for everything guys, I love all o'you. ^_^;
(I actually had no clue why I had to say all that,
but I just .. did.. odd.)
[ Letter to N o O n e ]
Dear Heart,
We regret to inform you that your request for the
fufillment of your dreams, hopes, and desires are
being denied yet again. If you still require theraputic
attention, we recommend you seek Friendship, Creativity
or Security to help you with your problems. We urge you
not to seek help from Depression, Rage, Despair, or
Loneliness. For any inconveniences or damage to self-
esteem caused by your rejections from our services, we
apologize. Please feel free to resubmit your application
and we will get back to you as soon as we make sure the
REST of the world is satiated and content in all their
love and happiness.
Have a nice day! (^_^ )
Sincerely,
<3 True Love & Co. <3
PS. doesn't rejection *suck*? >:D
feelin' pretty crummy today. :/ and im not taking their
advice... "We urge you not to seek help from Depression,
Rage, Despair, or Loneliness." ...definately not taking
their advice.
[ 5 / 15 / 04 - 09:59 pm ]
Mood: whee! happy, wet, and sore
Song: Every Girl Goes Crazy 'bout a Sharp Dressed Man
~ZZ Top
Quote: "Cuz I'm just a soul whose intentions are good.
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood."
(*************************************)
Today was SO MUCH FUN! (except for a few parts)
Sooo.. I went to bed this morning around quarter to 1,
and had some trouble getting up from sleeping in my fort.
Around 10:15, Mom came into my room with a spaghetti pot
of sorts and starting smacking a spoon against it until
I groaned/screamed as loud as I could. It was NOT fun
for me. I cleaned up my room and various parts of the
house after eating my frosted flakes, took a shower,
and cleaned the bathrooms. Then we went to Micheal's
crafts store in Simsbury/Avon area, and then to Borders.
<3<3<3 I got myself Demon Diaries#7 and I got Kelly her
present.
Then, I went to Kelly's party! *dumdumdummmm* Dad got us
a bit lost and we were 20 minutes late... T_T; lol.
S'all good... I still got there! ^_^; There was Claire,
Haley, Ashley, Stacy, Tara, Elayna, Kelly, Kirsten, and
myself, by the way.
We snacked for a bit, and then started to make our
OHSAPINTAFLICKER / THS String Orchestra T-shirts. ^_^
they came out awesome! (yes, even Claire's.. lol) Then
I stole Kelly's shirt to go running around in the
sprinkler in - I'm still wearing it as I speak. Then cake
& ice cream & presents, and then BACK TO THE SHIRTS! lol
it's an awesome party. I think we creeped out Kelly's
mom, though, what with Kirsten and Tara shoving the
bubble wrap down their pants to make a "natural" looking
bulge. hahahahaha my friends are so retarded... WATCH
THE "RITARD". omg i have no life... HEH! Kirsten and I
were unfortunately unable to get married. But, we decided
to postpone the wedding until Monday in enhancement when
we are all wearing the Tshirts we made. XD Tara will be
our pastor, Elayna will be the maid of honor, Dan will be
the Best Man (the only guy in the wedding, actually),
Kelly will be the flowergirl, Claire and Haley will be
spectators. Kirsten will be the bride, whereas I will be
the groom. :) Awesome, ne? Kirsten and I also decorated
each others' faces with fabric paint after Tara and Haley
left. Funny then, but once it dried and got all itchy
and I had to use a scrub brush to get it off, it was not
funny anymore.. *ouchies*
That is why my face is sore... My face is very sore...
and so is my head and tummy and spinal cord and
little intestine..... Ok, not my intestine, but I'm
serious about the other things!!!! lol it's a good kind
of sore, though.
It's a pity it all flew by so fast... it was so much fun!
Rolling around the grass, doing somersaults down the
hill until my head throbbed and hurt, getting paint all
over my hands (and face), playing with the bubble wrap,
laughing until I couldn't see straight from lack of oxygen
to my brain, blowing up the balloons and playing with
them (6 to 21 inches .... the orange balloon in the front
of the package... ahhhaahahahahaha so wrong... omg u guys)
I feel like putting more on my shirt... so I'm gunna go
do that now.
Note to self: fabric paint DOES, in fact, come of skin.
But it is so painful that it brings skin with it. Do not
repeat this action unless absolutely necessary.
Note to self, again: Remember - Marriage on Monday.
Note to self, again-again: Must have end-of-year party
with everyone. Must make bizarre T-shirts again too.
Where it shall be held is yet to be determined.
[ 5 / 14 / 04 - 11:55 pm ]
Mood: sleepyyyyy
Song: Green Hornet, Kill Bill Soundtrack
Quote: "Oi, self! Be a better person or I kick your @$&."
(trying to come up with an inspirational quote in
Human relations class)
(*************************************)
I can't even remember what happened today. Really... I
have no clear memory of anything. I went to school,
obviously, and stuff happened. I remember it happening,
but I don't, however, remember what that was. Woooowwww..
amazin'
When I got home, I cleaned for a bit and started watching
Gravitation - an awesome and incredibly adorable anime.
I love it sooo much! Kat called me and we made plans to
go see Troy. <3<3<3<3 I love that movie!!! It's actually
really good, with or without Orlando in it. Though, of
course, I have to be bias in saying that it would not
be the same without him. There were INSANE amts of
similarities between Troy and LOTR.. Orlando Bloom
(Legolas) and Sean Bean (Boromir), for one. And both
Achilles and Boromir just WOULD. NOT. DIE. It took 3 or
4 arrows in his gut and/or head to kill Boromir, and 8
or so arrows in his gut and one in his heel to kill
Achilles. Hmm.. there's more too but I'm too tired.
Which [Movie Genres] are you?
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Divine Comedy Inferno Test
[ 5 / 13 / 04 - 11:36 pm ]
Mood: exhausted.. in a good way.
Song: -
Quote(s): "Is the Holocaust still going on???" ~Lauren
(*************************************)
Woo~ Happy Sweet Sixteen Emily~!
(whoiknowdoesn'treadthisanyway,justworkw/mehereppl..)
So today was alright. No sub in human relations for the
first 10 minutes of class, so we all sat/stood in the
hallway cuz the room was locked. We asked The Janitor Man
to be our sub and he said something like "god no!" as he
kept walking by. Enhancement was... uneventful.... Stupid
Thursday rehearsals. >_< Then History.. blah. Lunch was
very .... nutritious!!! lol I have no life.. shut up. I
left after third period though, which I will tell u about right now.
My Dad's side of the family is kinda screwed up with
stepmoms and dads and cousins and aunts and uncles I
never knew I had and so on and so forth.. But I did know
that my Dad's half-sister was Joan, and I only met her
when I was 4 or so. For mother's day, my Aunt Joan came to
Connecticut from Colorado to come and visit her daughter
(daughters?) and her grandchildren.
what a fun day... i have NEVER met a woman so hyper in my
entire life!!!! Hey, at least now I definately know which
side of the family I got it from. :) Neither have I met
a girl as cute as 19-month old Haley. <3 Ahh... i wanna
go up to Colorado and visit them this summer... anyway,
after 8 hours of excitement (and food... we never left
the dinner table for HOURS.. lol)
After nearly 8 - 9 hours with these people, we left, and
I come back to you around 11 or midnight too groggy to
continue typing and too exhausted to really see what time
it is. Later all!
[ 5 / 12 / 04 - 06:40 pm ]
Mood: contented
Song: Forever Yours ~ Nightwish
Quote(s): "Orchestra is like Jello..." ~ me
"I don't want to kill my sister - she'll hit me back." ~Kat
(*************************************)
I'm kinda scared he might have figured it out. No, not
the Pretty... The "Other One." There's no point in
freaking out and getting all dramatic now, because he
might still be clueless. (even though, last night I
started flipped out while talking to Britt.. lol) I know
he's not that stupid when it gets to be that obvious...
hmm.. Still makes me wonder... I'm still undecided about
it though. Should I be happy or depressed over him
being clueless? Should I be happy or depressed over him
knowing? I DON'T KNOWWWWWW!!! AAHHHH!!!!! I love him,
but he always manages to either urk me or make me get
all giddy and giggly. It's an extremely annoying feeling!
Argh I can't wait until I fall out of love with him
and find someone else. : I'm still kinda nervous tho...
Oh yeah, I'm asking random ppl to marry me and recording
their responses. I wanna get to 100!!! So far, only a
handful of people have said no. Practically all of those
people were guys. O_o? Whats up with that???? Oh well.
I'll be happy with my wives. ^,~ <3 hahahaha
Three days till Kelly's party! WHEEEE!
(Note to self: buy present.)
Well today was really huumiiiiddddd! I was practically
dying when I got home. I can't wait until it's boating season again... Anyone wanna come with us on one of our
boat-age-ing-ventures? panting* @_@; I almost started
to tear up a couple times during 2 of my classes... I
gotta stop reminding myself of that whenever i look at
him.. *clutches stomach* ... oh yeah.. MCCLINTOCK IS AN
EVIL EVIL WOMAN! *hiss* killl ... KILLLLLL....
Enhancement was awesome. Kirsten colored my left hand
green with her highlighter!!!! Then, during orchestra,
(or rather, after orchestra), Tara colored my right hand
green. hahaha ilu guys! <3
You are mRNA. You're brilliant, full of important,
interesting information and you're a great
friend to the people you care about. You may
have sides to you that no one understands. But
while you understand more than most people,
you're only half-there most of the time.
Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Saturday Night Waltz- This piece makes the bandies and
the orchestra ppl go together like vinegar and glue.
Pretty on CD. Creepy in rehearsal.
here's a story my mom sent me via email forever ago...
~*~ The Origin of PETS! ~*~
Where do pets come from?
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has
provided the answer to "Where do pets come from?"
Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden,
you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any
more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us
to remember how much you love us."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for
you that will be with you forever and who will be a
reflection of my love for you, so that you will love
me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish
or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion
will accept you as you are and will love you as I do,
in spite of yourselves."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam
and Eve.
And it was a good animal.
And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve
and he wagged his tail.
And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals
in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new
animal."
And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this
new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his
name will be a reflection of my
own name, and you will call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to
them and loved them.
And they were comforted.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the
Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled
with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they
believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed
taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."
And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a
companion who will be with them forever and who will
see them as they are. The companion will remind them
of their limitations, so they will know that they are
not always worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And Cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve
gazed into Cat's eyes, they were reminded that they
were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility.
And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was happy.....
And Cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.
[ 4 / 19 / 04 - or so I want you to believe]
Day 3 (Monday)
We went to Salisbury Cathedral today. It's so pretty~!
The stained glass windows weren't all stained glass and
that made the whole building alot brighter and well, alot
more cheerful than one would expect of a Cathedral that
old with that kind of Gothic-creepy-cool architecture. :)
At one point, they had everyone stop everything they were
doing and had a 2 minute prayer service, despite any
discrepancies between religion or beliefs of the visitors.
That sort of surprised me, but I appreciated it, because
everyone was respectful and silent. You could definately
tell who was following the prayers and who was absolutely
clueless as to what was going on and to what was supposed
to be said. ^_^; heh
Oh yea, the huge giant spire on top of the Cathedral is
the same spire that was featured in William Golding's The
Spire, just so ya know. The Cathedral is actually
sitting on top of a swamp and the gigantic spire made
it sink in a little bit. Still standing though, and it's
dry inside, usually it is anyway. (Golding is the guy
who wrote The Lord of the Flies)
Afterwards we went to Bath. There was a widespread
confusion over wether or not it was "BAA-th" or "BAH-th".
What do you suppose? Anyway, the water is kept at 80
degrees Farenheit by some Roman way or another, and is
a bright neon pastelly gross ucky green. Very inviting...
Not.
We got to wander around a bit and I got Dad & Chris some
stuff in "The Gadget Shop" (woOOo) and some free AOL
cd's for Danny! All right - now we know that they
definately have America Online in England! (why does that
seem so very odd???)
Hi-Ho Hi-Ho It's off to Stonehenge we go-oh-oh-oh!
(guess where we went next..!)
Stonehenge was beautiful. Big awkwardly placed rocks in
a circle on top of the rolling English countryside. :)
The clouds were perfect too. Just as we were walking away,
we could see a big slate-colored cloud rolling towards
us on the horizon, though behind us were big puffy white
clouds. Such pretty scenery! I got some good pictures. :D
We were late to dinner by a half-hour or so and we were
eating at an Indian restaunt called "A Taste of India."
I know, the name is very misleading. The Death
Peppers were, well, deadly, and I was stupid enough to
eat one.... Ow.
The meat was nummy and the pita bread was sooo gooood. It
was B-E-A-yootiful-tasting. We had to duck out after
the second course because we were going to be late for
the theater. We ran as fast as we could a couple blocks
down and over, and quite a few people had that pita bread
in their hands, munching as we ran. I was one of them.
It was good bread. ^.^
Luckily we got to the Phoenix theater just in time to see Blood Brothers. And... WOW. That show was AAAMMAAAAZING.
I cried. It's the story of two twin brothers who were
secretly separated after birth because their mother couldn't afford to support both of them and their 7 other
siblings too. The brothers end up meeting when they were 7-
and nearly 8- years old and they become best friends
and make themselves Blood Brothers because they were
uncannily born on the same day. (hmmm) Then, they get
separated again when Eddie's mother, Mrs. Lyons, (the
rich one who couldn't have kids) became paranoid about the
well being of her child and moved away to the country.
The boys meet again 7 years later when they are 14 and
blahblahblahblah the story continues until they die.
Was it superstition that killed them, or is it what now
the English have come to know as Class? Awesome play.
[ 4 / 18 / 04 - or so I want you to believe]
Day 2 (Sunday)
Today we went on a sight-seeing tour thingie of London.
Drove by Harrods - mega department store with over 300
or so departments, and speaker's corner (where people get
to rant about whatever they want), and Hyde Park, as
well as lots of other spiffy places I can't remember.
I saw a sign saying "< Notting Hill Gate" and wanted to
take a picture to show the family, but we drove past it
before I could get my camera out. >,< poo.
(note to the clueless: I live on Notting Hill Gate)
Upon leaving the bus on the other side of the Thames,
we walked by Parliament and the notorious tower where
Big Ben is kept, and Westminster Abbey too.
@_@; Everything was so huuuuge! We walked up to a
platform of sorts where there were lots of liiittle
fountain thingies in the ground and a pretty good view
of the Bridge of Whatever and Whatnot. (i'm not that
great with names, can't you tell?)
>_< Then we walked around the streets of London as it
rained, stopped raining, rained some more, then stopped
again. I love rain, but this was the day I didn't wear
my waterproof sneakers. Sucks to be me.. wahh! I hate
wearing wet socksss.... Anyway, we went to Trafalgar
Square
(i love saying that word - Trafaaallllllllgaaaarrrr)
and we went to the National Gallery. Pretty pictures...
interesting audio guide too. "Where's the King?" Then we
all went outside for pictures and stuff. There was a guy
changing his clothes in the Square. I don't know who
saw it, but I was quite taken aback when I saw him change
his undies. O_o There's something you won't see at
home... When I told Constance and Cassie about it a day
or two later, Connie kept saying "NO WAY! .. NO WAY!!
.. Shut up! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT! SHUT UP! NO WAY! Oh
my gawd, no way!" and so on and so forth. Quite a
funny convo actually.
We were going to have some real English tea, but turns
out that it was 18 pounds! (about $36) No one really
wanted to spend that much money on it, so we all wandered
around and had lunch at Garfunkel's. (I think that was
the name..G-something.) Just a handful of people went
to wander about while another handful of people actually
had the tea. I believe that store was Fortnum & Mason's.
The day was concluded with some more mindless wanderings
in the rainyness and with wet socks. :) fun!
[ 4 / 16 / 04 - or so I want you to believe]
Day 1 (friday/Saturday)
The "carriage limo" was OK. I drew a spiffy picture
depicting a young almost elven male sitting on a rock
wall blushing, looking dazed, with three or four faeries
around him... a vast landscape behind him with an ocean
or lake shimmering and reflecting the setting (or
rising?) sun and a dark forest opposite. A womans face
is in the sky with her face directed towards the top-
right of the page but her eyes looking down on the
young man. I titled it "Watching over You" and am quite
pleased with the outcome of the final product. :D yay!
Woot- I lived through the airport... sort of. I couldn't
undertsand the Indian guy at the check-in-bag-place-thing.
: I hade to ask him 3 times what he was saying. It
didn't help that I was confused, sleepy, disoriented
AND unable-to-decipher-suc-thick-accents-when-spoken-
so-quickly-without-any-announciation-whatsoever.
On the plane, I was in 44C- an aisle seat right by the
[right] wing of the plane - next to a seemingly nice
retired enlish couple. They only ever said "excuse me"
or asked to turn off the light at night, and rarely even
spoke to each other. However, it wasn't uncomfortable,
but slightly on the distant pleasantness side.
OK, randomly changing subject!!! PEOPLEs!!!!
Mrs. McVerry, Mrs. Doyle, "Mr. Fred"
Myself, Justin, Paul, Adam, Constance, Rinaldo, Alicia,
Taryn, Cassie, Matt, Rodney, Garrett,and Mike.
now back on track...
The food sucked - that all there is to say. I would
describe it, or what I thought it was supposed to be,
but I don't really wish to bring such memories back
upon my poor, damaged taste buds.
I watched The School of Rock, then Shrek, then we landed. It was pretty amazing because we all had individual, interactive screens with movies, tv shows, radio stations, cd player/jukebox, single or multi-player games, seat-to-seat telephone and text messaging. To phone or msg someone not in the plane would cost extra money, but oh well. Mom said only to tell her if the plane crashed, which it didn't.
Upon landing we got our baggage and whatnot and met
Micheal Durnin, our tourguide. Nice guy, very British.
:D We went to the hotel, then went across the street
to take pictures of ~*THE PHONEBOOTHS*~ (dum dada dum!)
and then wandered a bit until we went to the National
Museum of Whatever and Whatnot. Big dino right in
the entrance.. twas a huge building. Anywhoo, I trudged
along with Adam, Justin and Paul as they stopped every
few feet to get a different view of the building. Heh,
it was fun though. Especially when we all sat on a
bench, somehow going from a discussion about their
bladders to foriegn currency. (dont ask)
What...interesting... fellows they are.
I wanted to go to, and was planning on going to, Church,
but I fell asleep and apparently no one could wake me
up : I forgot my jacket, money, AND tube card in the
hotel room while I was late for dinner. I had to borrow
a pound from Amanda for the Bus and Mrs. Doyle gave me
her jacket. Kinda felt bad bout that... I think I was
the only one who found that italian meal atrocious.
THe lasagna was bitter and the pasta in it was burnt
and too crispy. The meat thingie was way too dry. The
Strawberry dessert was alright though.
I'm in hotel room 205 with Constance __?__ and Cassie
Tracy, Justin's cuz'n. Hehe, they are a funny pair to be... paired..
up with. Connie's got a sort of entertaining optomistic
pessimism around her, has a great sense of humor as
well as sarcasm, and a contagious laugh. Cassie also
has a contagiouslaugh, and she's just nuts! I swear,
the gel's out of her ruddy mind. hehehe It's a good
thing though. ^_~
[ m y s t e r y d a t e s ]
here are two entries i meant to put in here a long while
ago. they are rants. You dont need to read them, but
I want to post them anyway because they are somewhat poetic in their overly dramatic wordiness.
Mood: zzzz -_-
Song: "Dduatta" ~AlbinoBlackSheep.com
Quote: " :( / :| "
(*************************************)
it isn't so much as i want to claim him as my own
possession, but that the neglect i feel upon not being
claimed spurs up such a feeling of jealousy that i
almost confuse it for hate. it is amazing how just one
of his slightest movements can ignite a holocaust of
anger and loneliness inside of me within less than a
second. he is no prize to be won, i know, so i do not
compete. he is utterly incomprehensible, i know, so i
do not try to understand. i am just a friend in his
eye, and i know this also, but how can i explain the
simplicity of our relationship to my heart? how can i
deny the fire from thawing the ice on my cold and
shivering heart? i dont' know why such jealousy comes
rund, yet i doknow that it is not nearly as bad as it
could be. at least i have some self-control left in me
and i do not allow my feeligns or emotions get the best
of me. if i let all loose, i would have shown my
affection for him long ago with a long dreamed-for kiss
and i would trust no one to be near himl. i want to be
his and i want him to own me. i am very confused and
very envious. however, i will not permit my lust and
envy to overtake me and i will hang on until it is over.
My love is temporary. It will last forever, though
forever ends all too soon. In a futile paradigm of
reflection, I'll look back and laugh at my naive
obsessive ways. Perhaps I can get by. Perhaps I can
distract myself for now and try to admit to myself
and the world there is no problem. No need making a
big deal out of nothing. I think I'll just remain
quiet and sit back until the tide receeds and the
storm blows over. Until it's taken its toll and left
on the feild all the deceased soldiers, for me to clean
up and mourn and start all over again. I think I may
start to see hope on the horizon line, but I'll not
startle my heart in the event of a false alarm. I'll
stay right here hidden until it's all clear, under
the noon sun, on a beautiful new midsummer's day. I
just don't want to get hurt again...
Mood: waaaah....
Song: "I think I love you" ~Patridge Family
Quote: "I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of?"
(*************************************)
im scared and im worried about something - is it nothing?
my best friend may be m y rival and i think im losing.
i dont want to win, but i will break if i lose. for the
sake of our friendship, i am tiptoeing - trying to
balance - on the edge of a knife. the blade is starting
to cut into me as my weight pulls me down onto the razor
sharp edge. i have to go one way or the other because i
can't hold on much longer. WHAT is going on? i am so
confused and there's something writhing inside of me,
i believe it to be my butterfly-filled stomach as it does
flip-flops and somersaults in my body. i am afraid
because there is no competition and neither of us are
trying, i think i may be dying - slipping and
withdrawing once more, hiding just beyond the secret
door. i wish i could explain to her my feelings, why
it hurts so much for me to listen, but how can i say it
tactfully? that i want to take from her the only prize
she ever could have won? i'm just hoping that either
she or i (and preferably not me) will snap out of it
and come to realize the pain one of us is about to cause
the other and fall out of love with him. but how
could i deny her - she is my best friend! and how can
i deny myself when it is just as close to me and i
have been denying myself all my life? and how could i
let a rift be formed between us so soon after we
established our friendship? how could i, how could i,
how.. could.. i.... i don't know what i should do -
if i should do anything at all. the love inside of me
that i feel for him is overwhelming and it keeps
swelling, yet my worries are enveloping me,
constricting me. i feel like i am about to burst.
who is there for me, who can tell me what to do and
guide me through this? where is the angel supposedly
come to guide me to the light?
"I know my heart should guid me but, there's a whole
within my soul. What will fill this emptiness inside
of me? Am I too be satisfied without knowing? Now all
I need is my star to come..."
~(shii's song)
[end.]
[ 4 / 15 / 04 - 06:01 pm ]
_______Your Life_______
[x] they call me: Lyn
[x] sex: Female.
[x] my first breath of air: Fifteenth of the month
of November
[x] status: Single... :(
[x] occupation: Student.
[x] best friends: Kiwi, Kelly, Katie, Cwi, Elayna,
Kirsten, Tara, my Joycat and my Sarahcat
_______Rewind_______
[x] most memorable memory: like I could remember...
hahaha.. No, I just can't choose!
[x] worst?: Middle school field trips
[x] first word uttered: "Da-da-da"
[x] first best friend ever!?: Kiwi!
_______Love?_______
[x] love is: *squee!* happy thoughts and cruel torture,
but it's really and truly magic!
[x] first love: ^_^; let's not go there....
[x] love or lust?: LOVE! Always and forever with
absolutely NO exceptions.
[x] when love hurts, you: get EXTREMELY depressed
and make it obvious to those who would care.
[x] true or false: False.
[x] is there such thing as love @ first sight?: of
course!!!
_______Opposite Sex_______
[x] turn ons: Huge, honest and bright smiles, singing,
humming, playing an intrument... And his eyes too!
They have to glitter and shine with a hidden innocence
and yet dance and flare with a glow of a firey and
passionate wild. The kind of eyes I can get lost in,
the kind that can make me break down completely and do
anything he wants. I usually go for brown eyes.
[x] do your parent's opinion on your bf/gf matter to
you?: Not in particular, but the type of guy my parents
wouldn't approve of wouldn't be the type I would fall
for.
(I mean, lookit the guys they let Cathy date! lol jk)
[x] what kinda hair style?: Short hair, but not buzz
cuts or mohawks. Mullets are a "hell no!"!
[x] the sweetest thing a member of the opposite sex
can do for you: Put his arms around me protectively or
smile that sweet winning smile just for me.
[x] where do you go to meet new people?: PEOPLE?!! AHHHH!
[x] are you the type of person to HOLLER and ask for
numbers?: no.... just....... NO.
_______Picky Picky_______
[x] dog or cat: KITTY!!!
[x] short or long hair: medium length
[x] sunshine or rain: rain
[x] moon or sun: Moon
[x] hugs or kisses: Hugs
[x] 1 best friend or 10 acquaintances: One best friend.
[x] summer or winter: Summer
[x] written letters or e-mails: E-mails
[x] playstation or nintendo: I refuse to answer that @_@;
[x] car or motorcycle: Car
[x] house party or club: House party.
[x] sing or dance: Sing.
_______Lately_______
[x] how are you today? SO EXCITED - YOU HAVE NO IDEA!
[x] what pants are you wearing right now? really old
black gym-ish pants with green stripie somewhere under
all that white cat hair.
[x] What shirt are you wearing right now? Green tee,
orange glittery S
[x] what does your hair look like at the moment? messy
as always, in a ponytail as always
[x] what song are u listening to right now?
Nightwish's "Dead to the World"
[x] how is the weather right now? dim.. sunset-ish time
[x] last person you talked to on the phone? Ian, who
called for my sister
[x] last dream you can remember? Last night I had a
dream about [censored].. i dont remember the specifics
but we were going out... *blush* shut up. (his name is
censored cuz i wuv him)
[x] who are you talking to right now? Kelly
[x] what time is it? 7:43PM
_______More About YOU!_______
[x] what are the last four digits of your phone number?
6427
[x] if u were a crayon, what color would you be?
something shiny.. i think like a shiny dark purple
or a shiny blue
[x] have you ever almost died? From embarassment!!!
Otherwise, no
[x] do u like the person that sent u this? I stole it
from Jenn.... yesh! Funny! "Court. JESTER! Nooooowwwww"
[x] what's the next CD you are going to buy? Probably
Nightwish or The Passion of Christ Soundtrack
[x] what's the best advice ever given to you? "Dance
as if no one were watching, sing as if no one were
listening, love as if you’ve never been hurt, and live
every day as if it were your last."
[x] have u ever won any special award? probably. dont
remember though.
[x] what's the stupidest thing u have ever done?
lemme count.... @_@;
[x] how many kids do you want to have? Three.. I want
to adopt at least one.
[x] shampoo? no preference.. except my dad's PertPlus.
that hurts! TT_TT
[x] what are you most scared of? I can't admit it just
like that. It's for me to know and for me to make an
effort to avoid.
[x] how many TV's do you have in your house? One
[x] do you have your own TV? HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's funny!
[x] have you ever broken/sprained/fractured a bone?
Hairline fracture on my wrist in 5th grade.
[x] who do you dream about? teeheehee... I can't
say. ^_^<3
[x] who do you tell your dreams to? God, myself, and
my cats.
[x] who's the loudest friend you have? ALLIE!! ..hehehe
[x] who's the quietest friend? HAH!!! *my* friends?
quiet? YEA RIGHT!
[x] Is cheerleading a sport? Hell no. *growl*
[x] how many licks does it take to get to the center
of a Tootsie Pop? 720.. I counted on the way to PA for
Easter one year.
[ 3 / 30 / 04 - 03:35 pm ]
Mood: ^_^ HYPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Song: "Home" ~Beauty & the Beast, Broadway
Quote: "One word: MEEP!" ~me 3/29
(*************************************)
CAPT sucks. :( NO ENHANCEMENT, NO ORCHESTRA, AND
NO POINT OF GOING TO SCHOOL!!!!! I mean, I'm only a
freshman and they don't even grade them to make it
practice that's actually worth while.
Let me recap my wonderful *coughnotcough* day for you:
1. Gym: Supposedly our last day.. it was argh-ful
2. History: can you say "..*snore*.." I miss
Mrs. Lee... :(
3. English: Our presentation was awful, but
it was kind of funny how I had to translate some stuff
for Tara: "He won a prize."
~*LUNCH*~: Omigawsh he looks good in yellow...
*drool* For the second day in a row it was "One word:
MEEP!" <- that sadly has a meaning now... O.o
Diff BSHOFGU guy though.
4. The CAPT: I'm in 3401... OMG I LOVE THAT ROOM.
[dont ask why unless you are fully aware of the BSHOFGU
obsessiveness] *SNORE* I didn't finish the writing,
I almost finished the 3rd paragraph on the 3rd page.
The second part - editing & revising - I finished
that in less than 10 minutes. There
was only 18 questions. WAY too easy... :\
YAY THE BAND CONCERT IS TONIGHT!!! Warner, 7:00PM :D
I can't wait! <3 Good luck my bandie buddies! >:0 Show
those Regional 7 losers and Litchfield snob's who's
boss... HOOAHH!......... o.o ok, no more lollipops for
me tonight.... wow. I'm scaring myself again.
I'm going to rant about the performance when I get
home tonight so do good everyone!!! ^_^<3<3<3
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