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Sign Your Posts!
Friday, November 2, 2001 03:03 p.m.
The NYC Marathon is this Sunday--there's nothing like waking up hung over, groggy and reeking Sunday morning and weaving past the runners on the way to brunch. The marathon's website now features electronic tracking for all runners--if you have a friend in the race, you can input the person's number on the website and find out what milepost they just passed.
N.
Friday, November 2, 2001 11:32 a.m.
I scored a 7 ("obviously you can't tell the difference") on AsianPeeps. Interestingly enough, I did get a majority of the Koreans--or was it the Chinese?
-NMS
Friday, November 2, 2001 10:47 a.m.
Hey Lumpsters... ever been mistaken for being German, French, Puerto Rican or Greek constantly? Well, I've been taken for being other nationalities all my life and just take it in stride ("Wow! For a Chinese lady, you speak English real good!" - Brooklyn guy) Here's a fun test for us: AsianPeeps
E-mail your results!
-MisssLeena
Thursday, November 1, 2001 10:38 a.m.
Something about those Irish and wanting to stick yourself in huge bubblewrap ball that's shot out of a sling. Actually, Zorbing does sound like fun. Shall we franchise?
So it was fully overcast last night which meant no blue moon. But, on the other hand, the Yankees ripped into NoVAMbuary--down 3-1 with 2 outs, Tino Martinez homers in the bottom of the 9th with Paul O'Neill on base, suddenly tying what looked to be another Yankee loss to Arizona (excuse me, but isn't this an expansion team!?!?). Then in the bottom of the 10th with 2 outs, Jeter slams another one over the wall. Midnight thunder, baby.
Nu (Mr. NoVAMbuary) No
Thursday, November 1, 2001 08:03 a.m.
I think I've found the perfect gift. If only I could get my hands on a zorb.
- Doonces
Wednesday, October 31, 2001 05:30 p.m.
No More Driving & Celling:
As of tomorrow (November 1, 2001), it will be illegal anywhere in New York State to use a hand-held cell phone while driving. The new state law provides for a one-month period during which violators will be given a warning. Thereafter, fines are $100 for a first offense, $200 for a second offense and $500 for subsequent offenses. Violators may have their fine waived until March 1 if they show a court a hands-free adaptor for their cell phone.
-N.
Wednesday, October 31, 2001 05:07 p.m.
Just in time for all your trick or treatiness, there's a rare blue moon in the sky tonight!
-N.
Wednesday, October 31, 2001 6:66 a.m.
Happy Halloween, Lumpskateers!
This has always been my favorite holiday. True, Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas are also my favorite holidays, but that's because of the food--when else can you eat 8 course home cooked meals and then roll over and fall asleep? Bring on those festivities!
But Halloween is the one holiday where you don't change your behavior as you grow from a child to an adult. As a child, Easter and Thanksgiving were always boring. The menu never changed on those two holidays; and yet, to my Mom's credit, she would let me make something "different" each year--a divine sweet potato and shrimp casserole one November made my Dad repeatedly wonder aloud why was he being punished with a child who demanded on cooking a sweet potato & shrimp casserole. Football blared eternally from the television and even though everyone snored loudly on the sofa, any time I dared to switch the channel to some ice skating spectacular, a cry would shoot out from the sofa, "What are you doing? Can't you see we're watching the game!" And Christmas as as child--well, you believed that a fat man in a red suit would break into your house, but instead of walking off with the television and VCR, he'd actually leave toys and games behind.
No, Halloween stays much the same. Sure, instead of going house to house asking for candy, you go out and shake your booty. But still, the activity remains much the same--you get dressed up, you go out and act like a kid all night.
Halloween--playtime fun for kids and adults.
-Spanky Santos
Tuesday, February 7, 2040 05:07 a.m.
We may in the midst of a war but it seems that we still have time to sing & dance. God bless America! My ancestors migrated here to sing karaoke in peace dammit.
Sing and Boogie!
See you all at the Nortons.
-Korean Katholic Kapers
Friday, October 26, 2001 09:55 a.m.
"What's a fat man without food in his gut?
What's a child birth, without the umbilical?
What's United Parcel, without the deliverer?
What's momma-san, without poppa-san?
What's martial arts without Daniel-San?"
Discuss.
-N.
Thursday, October 25, 2001 10:25 a.m.
Why is Iceland green and Greenland icy?
What's the difference between a road, an avenue, a boulevard, a street, etc.?
Aw, heck, just go outside and play.
N.
Wednesday, October 24, 2001 01:48 p.m.
Re: decorating ideas:
- Bring back bobbing for apples!
- Definitely cobweb-y material in the hallway.
- Maybe a strobelight in the hallway too?
Will update as inspiration strikes.
-N.
Wednesday, October 24, 2001 01:40 p.m.
Stereolab tour dates have been announced. Rey & I are going on Fri night, 11/9, at Irving Plaza. If anyone else is going, let me know.
-Nuno
Wednesday, October 24, 2001 09:29 a.m.
America's secret weapon in the war against terrorism. (rated G)
N.
Tuesday, October 23, 2001 11:18 p.m.
Okay, okay, calm down fair Pandy! Have a drink. Simmer down now!
I need decorating ideas for the party. Anyone?
--Brooke
Tuesday, October 23, 2001 27:78 p.m.
Re-Aloha LumpyLand!
My apologies to Pandy. I sent her some cranky oatmeal complaining that I don't have time to post. It's true: I'm crazy busy at work and I've been staying there until 8 or 9 every night and then I come home, eat, and plan my impending move to Sweden and subsequent wedding to the gorgeous woman known as Liza. It's not easy smuggling cats into Sweden you know. Apparently the best thing is to disguise them as Danish beer, which the authorities are expecting and choose to ignore. So Pandy, I'm sorry for my snarkiness-we can discuss it under the promenade. OH PANDY!
Anyway I do hope to keep posting and I want everyone of you to follow my lead and submit to lumpy. Remember: "Islam" means "submission", so if you don't submit, you're not allowed to wear Mecca, and then you lose your lunch money, or something like that. So put on your leather and submit to lumpy. NOW!
-Joshua The Lion of The North Alvarez
Tuesday, October 23, 2001 10:08 a.m.
Chinese zoo sentences lion to 'life imprisonment' for injuring tourists: "A mother and son were throwing hens to the lion from the open window of a bus travelling through the park, filled with untamed wild animals, on the morning of October 6, the paper said. However a lion pounced on them, seizing the boy's right arm and dragging him out of the window, injuring his head."
So where did the hens come from? When you visit a Chinese zoo, do you get a crate of hens to toss at the animals? And to think American zoos only give out stupid popcorn...
N.
Monday, October 22, 2001 10:21 a.m.
Wookin pa nub in all de wong places, wookin pa nub...
N.
Friday, October 19, 2001 02:44 p.m.
Did you know the difference between ingenious and disingenuous? I was just arguing that they're antonyms. Not so, little squirrel.
N.
Friday, October 19, 2001 02:31 p.m.
-Brought to you by the letter N.
Friday, October 19, 2001 08:54 a.m.
You & your sweetheart head out for a night at the movies. You read the reviews & you know it's going to be a quality movie. But wait! You never checked its moral rating? You soddomite heathen.
N.
Thursday, October 18, 2001 10:20 a.m.
I'm going vegetarian.
N.
Wednesday, October 17, 2001 12:23 p.m.
Thanks, Brian--that's much more like it:
"Don't go to the bathroom on October 28th. CIA intelligence reports that a major plot is planned for that day. Anyone who takes a poop on the 28th will be bitten on the ass by an alligator. Reports indicate that organized groups of alligators are planning to rise up into unsuspecting American's toilet bowls and bite them when they are doing their dirty business.
I usually don't send emails like this, but I got this information from a reliable source. It came from a friend of a friend whose cousin is dating this girl whose brother knows this guy whose wife knows this lady whose husband buys hotdogs from this guy who knows a shoeshine guy who shines the shoes of a mailroom worker who has a friend
who's drug dealer sells drugs to another mailroom worker who works in the CIA building. He apparently overheard two guys talking in the bathroom about alligators and came to the conclusion that weare going to be attacked.
So it must be true."
N.
Wednesday, October 17, 2001 10:25 a.m.
Ok--this is enough. After getting scores of the don't-go-to-malls-on-Oct-31 emails (uh..who goes to malls on Halloween? Is this some pagan Long Island thing? Sick.), I just got my first don't-eat-turkey-on-Thanksgiving email. How about: People: be careful & use common sense (for example, now would be a bad time to shop at a discount food shop--go ahead and splurge--drop the extra 30 cents for the veggies from the good supermarket in the neighborhood).
Rey & I were watching Fox 5 News last night (like a car crash, you just can't take your eyes off such a public display of stupidity) -- you know how there's usually some sort of graphic next to the newscaster when they're talking about a story? For the anthrax story, there's Rosanna Scotto bobbing her sensible helmet of shellac'd hair & next to her are the words ANTHRAX in bold & all caps. Directly above the words is a live picture of a person's actual eyes--the brow is furrowed so as to look angry & the eyes are roving around from left to right, menacingly oggling Rosanna, then roving over and staring directly at the viewer...what are they trying to do, scare the shit out of everyone? We're getting ready to change the channel, when Rosanna suddenly announces, "And now, a story about something more dangerous than anthrax....the flu."
Rosanna disappeared & the screen went black. Rey found the remote control. My hero.
N.
Friday, October 12, 2001 06:17 p.m.
Having just returned from my travels as a missionary in Canada, I've been finding it hard to get back to my routine. The hellish jungles of Toronto left quite an imprint on me, but now that I'm back, I miss the little things I used to call routine. It's time to get Lumpy again.
Suck My Balls,
Pandy Fackler
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